Social Media is great. 🙂

An unfortunate effect of social media on a lot of people is that it causes them to develop a warped perception of themselves as participants in situations where they’re merely spectators.

This leads to questions they unnecessarily rack their brains over, such as “What are *WE* going to do about this? :O” when they have no say in the matter whatsoever.

Your ability to say something doesn’t indicate any power that you have to change anything at all about the situation you’re commenting on.

New Media

Before social media, we had television.

At that point in time, it was clear who was on the show and who was a mere spectator.

This was because you had no input whatsoever and you could yammer on as much as you wanted to to your friends about what you THOUGHT should happen on the show and then nobody who has anything to do with CREATING the show gave a flying **** what you thought and then you got whatever they gave you in the next episode.

Now that there’s social media and everyone has an opinion on everything, it’s caused many people to believe that they’re a part of the show as opposed to someone watching a show that other people are putting on for them.

In some cases, they actually *ARE* a part of the show, as audience participation is integral to the program’s format. That still doesn’t indicate that whomever’s RUNNING the show gives a damn what they think or is going to change anything (or refrain from changing something) because the spectators voiced their opinions about what they felt should be done.

Once again, we have arrived at Conflation.. People erroneously considering themselves “We” with other people they aren’t actually connected to.

Spectators & Owners

Recently, a scandal has popped up about a person who is the leader of a group whom a lot of people are fans of. Of course, this means that the internet is buzzing about “What does this mean for ‘Us’? :O”

It doesn’t mean *anything* for YOU because YOU aren’t a member of that group, so none of them give a damn what you think should happen amongst that group, regardless of how much of a fan you are.

On top of that, it isn’t even the group’s problem. It’s solely the problem of the leader of the group.

This means that the group itself MAY or MAY NOT have the power, ability, and/or inclination to say that the leader isn’t the leader anymore. Unless you know how the group is structured, you don’t know if any of the group members can do anything at all, other than quit being a member of that group.

All you can do as a fan is stop giving that group money. Stop going to their shows. Stop buying their merchandise. Stop paying to hear them speak…

Same thing happened with Michael Vick.

Mike Vick claims he has one year left in the tank, but will it be with the Steelers?

Vick was a prominent quarterback in the NFL (United States Professional Football League), got investigated for doing what he was doing, was found guilty, went to jail for two years, then returned to being a prominent quarterback in the NFL.

A lot of spectators weren’t satisfied with Vick’s paying his debt to society via going to jail and eventually being released. They wanted to make it so he never played in the NFL again.

Unfortunately for those people, they’re SPECTATORS and not OWNERS, so all that rah rah fell on deaf ears and business went on as usual amongst the people actually doing business, meaning the league and the quarterback.

Consequences & Repercussions

I wanted to bring this up because people are giving themselves mental problems they don’t need to have. 😀 If you would learn to mind your own business and figure out where your business begins and ends, you would be a happier person.

One way you can begin to figure out what is and isn’t your business is by asking yourself “How much work did I do to make this happen? o_O”. If the answer is NONE, then you should probably stay shut and mind your own business.

Another way you can begin to figure out what is and isn’t your business is by asking yourself “How much money did I invest to make this happen? o_O”. If the answer is NONE, then you should probably stay shut and mind your own business.

A third way is to role-play yourself out of the picture. Take the current situation and extract yourself from it and then figure out how that situation is different. If the answer is NOT AT ALL, then you should probably stay shut and mind your own business.

So let’s say in the internet scandal situation I mentioned earlier, you felt like your opinion about what should happen mattered to anyone but you and your friends who value your judgement… What is it that you plan to say that’s going to cause a group you aren’t a part of to fire (or not fire) their leader?

I’ll wait


What is it that you plan to do? Boycott? Get your closest 1,000 friends to stop paying that group to do what it does unless they acquiesce to your demands? Picket their IRL events? Talk a lot about them on social media? Start your own group and do what they do better than the originators do it, driving them all out of business? Most of that stuff isn’t going to happen, so you may as well get used to it and live with it and recognize that you’re a spectator and your opinion is valuable for entertainment purposes only.

It’s when you overestimate your value in a situation that you give yourself agita and start annoying your friends in the process.

A lot of them are too weak to tell you to mind your own business, even though that’s in your best interest so you can think about things you can actually change in your life.

See your way through to the successful conclusion of the situation ending the way you want it to based on something YOU said or did. Map it out in your brain. Visualize it.

If you can’t see it, you probably can’t be it.

Champagne Wishes & Caviar Dreams

Another form of Spectator Conflation is when broke people vote against their own best interests because they’re imagining that they’re rich and influential.

I’ve always wanted to be a fly on the wall in one of those flyover states that don’t seem to realize that just about all of them are poverty-stricken and then when they successfully back a candidate that talks about removing “entitlements”, they become hungrier for the next four years than they were for the previous four years. 😀

Unless you’re already retired, if you’re not going to work but you still get to eat food, where do you think those checks come from? o_O haha The Government.

While we’re at it, if the government kicks all of the illegals out, who’s going to pick the grapes? You? 😀 Your kids? 😀

Meanwhile.. Check this out! 😀 hahahaha.. You know the dude that you *think* is going to make that happen for you?… You know?.. Donald Trump? 😀 .. Here’s what he thinks about hiring Americans:

Donald Trump to Foreign Workers for Florida Club: You’re Hired


Since 2010, nearly 300 United States residents have applied or been referred for jobs as waiters, waitresses, cooks and housekeepers there. But according to federal records, only 17 have been hired.

In all but a handful of cases, Mar-a-Lago sought to fill the jobs with hundreds of foreign guest workers from Romania and other countries.

In his quest for the Republican presidential nomination, Mr. Trump has stoked his crowds by promising to bring back jobs that have been snatched by illegal immigrants or outsourced by corporations, and voters worried about immigration have been his strongest backers.

But he has also pursued more than 500 visas for foreign workers at Mar-a-Lago since 2010, according to the United States Department of Labor, while hundreds of domestic applicants failed to get the same jobs.

The visas are issued through one of a handful of legal and often debated programs through which employers can temporarily hire foreign workers when American labor is not available. As part of its applications for the visas submitted to the Labor Department, Mr. Trump’s Mar-a-Lago attested that in the vast majority of cases, it was unable to fill the positions with American workers, or, as he told MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” in September, “getting help in Palm Beach during the season is almost impossible.”

Asked why his club must seek so many foreign workers when Americans have applied for the same positions, Mr. Trump said in a telephone interview from Mar-a-Lago this month: “The only reason they wouldn’t get a callback is that they weren’t qualified, for some reason. There are very few qualified people during the high season in the area.”

If you’ve made it this far through the article, I assume you can read. That means that you now understand that regardless of what Trump says, he’s not going to hire you for anything because you aren’t qualified and he’d rather bring in people from WHEREVER that are more qualified than you are instead of setting up a training program for Americans to get work at his establishment.

That’s how things are at ONE CLUB that Trump owns. What do you think would happen to you if he actually became President? 😀 .. What jobs do you think he’s going to create for you? How much do you think those jobs are going to pay since he considers you unqualified to bring people towels and drinks at a club?

I don’t see a number higher than $12/hour on that chart, so good luck with President Trump when you finish playing “Let me vote as if I’m rich and influential”.


This is partially the fault of society itself being comprised of weaker and weaker people (mentally, not physically), and the fault of content creators who are more interested in getting clicks on their videos and pages so they can serve advertisements than ignoring irrelevant opinions.

In fact, the more dissent there is, the more ads are served, which is why you see websites that allow inane arguments to go on ad infinitum… The more people argue, the more money the site gets.

It’s better for these sites to pretend like they care what the spectators have to say so they keep coming back and keep clicking up ad-rev pennies for them every day.

A lot of groups operate like this IRL as well. The more people argue and complain, the more money they make. If they were ever to actually SOLVE the problems their community is having, their source of funding would disappear, so it’s better for them to keep you upset and complaining.

Another thing you need to pay attention to is whether your perceived Spectator Influence is being diluted, and if so, by how much and how quickly?

For instance.. Let’s say you’re a part of a group with 10 people in it.. Regardless of whether you have any ACTUAL say in what goes on with that group, you definitely have 1/10 of the opinions.

Let’s say that over the next two months, 10 more people join that group. Now you have 1/20th of the opinions, though you may have made some friends in the meanwhile so you consider yourself a voting block although none of you have any votes because this isn’t a democracy.

What happens though when you’re part of a group where 20 people are applying to join every single day? 😀 hahaha How quickly is your position getting diluted when even if you tell 20 of your friends in the group to boycott the group or quit the group that y’all will *ALL* be replaced within 24 hours?

What happens if you have 10 friends and 30 people per day are applying to join?.. All of you will be completely replaced within 8 hours. If you get all of your friends to quit, the group still goes +20 members for the day as if you were never a part of that group in the first place.

I saw this happen as an Early Adopter in a social media site where I was one of the beta testers. Some of the people there with me swore they were so important and influential before the site went public because there were only about 100 of us.

Cliques formed. People decided what teams they were on. People decided who they liked and didn’t like.

That was all well & good until the site went public and another 100 people joined in the first week. 😀

Suddenly, these new 100 people didn’t give a flying **** about what the Early Adopters thought or cared about or who they thought was important.

The new people cliqued up *IMMEDIATELY* and essentially took over the site.

By the next week, there were another 100-200 members and the Early Adopters were essentially a bunch of nobodies.

Their only choices were to conform to the new format of the group or quit the group entirely.

Rap Is Not Pop. If You Call It That Then Stop.

Ultimately, The amount of say you have in a situation is a variable, not a constant.

Sometimes people care what you think and make decisions based on your opinion and other times they don’t.

Sometimes, they’ll explain to you that they aren’t interested in what you have to say and other times they’ll just ignore you or dis you and go about their business.

*THEIR* business.

If you get in a cab, you get to tell the cabbie where to go because you’re paying for personalized service.

If you get on a bus, nobody gives a **** where you want to go. You will go where the bus goes. Your only other options are to get off the bus or never get on the bus in the first place.

If you think you’re a part of a group, stop.

Stop thinking about whether you’re a part of that group until you can explain to yourself why the group would care if you weren’t a part of it.

If you can’t figure that out, you’re probably not an important group member.

There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s just that you should recognize that so you don’t make yourself upset while you’re wondering how come the bus driver won’t go where you suggest.

Don’t worry about how to influence the bus driver. You can’t. Worry about things that YOU start and things that YOU’RE an important contributor to and situations and people that depend on YOUR opinion in order to make decisions.

Don’t worry about what “We” are going to do when you aren’t a part of “We” in the first place.

Join the Conversation

1 Comment

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.