A Herb is a worthless dude, in the context of whatever you’re talking about.

A nobody. A non-player character (NPC) like the artificial intelligence people you see running around in video games that the game itself is controlling instead of a human. A totally inconsequential and ineffective male of the species.

So for example, if you’re pitching in a baseball game and the bases are loaded and the dude walking towards the plate to bat can’t hit worth a damn, you won’t be worried about it because he’s a Herb.

That doesn’t mean he isn’t well-paid, well-regarded in society, or successful in business.

It just means that in this context, attempting to hit against your pitching, he isn’t worth ****.

Similarly, dudes tell on themselves that THEY aren’t **** when it comes to bagging chicks.

I would have written “pulling chicks”, but Trump ****** that line up for ERRBODY with his “Grab ’em by the *****” statement, but we’ll discuss that later in the story. 😀

Much Ado About Nothing?

So the first thing was that I was seeing people on the internet saying that Trump had had some sort of “lewd conversation”, but I had zero interest in what that conversation was, because Trump doesn’t think. He just blurts words out, often in unfinished sentences, so I can’t possibly care what he said because none of it’s likely to be true at all.

So I kept seeing people mentioning this “lewd” conversation, and I’m like why are people surprised that Trump was saying something they considered racy?

Next, people were talking about how his conversation could derail his campaign.

I *STILL* wasn’t interested because as soon as Trump got the Republican nomination, I immediately started Googling whether the Republicans could remove him or not. They can not. There is *NOTHING* they can do if Trump doesn’t take himself out of the race. So what difference was it supposed to make that Trump said something? \o/

At some point, I listened to the audio. I found out that it was a tape from 11 years ago. Trump is on the tape talking to some dude about some chick, and although the conversation is a yawn-fest, this guy Trump is talking to is giggling like a small child. Giddy.

Then, they become shocked and amazed at some chick they can see, and apparently some other chick is standing in front of her legs, and then that one moves and they can see the good one again, and then they get off the bus, meet the chick, and go wherever they were going.

I’m still like so what?

Eventually, I saw the actual video. The first thing I noticed is that it was recorded while the cameraperson was filming b-roll, so neither Trump nor the other dudes knew their audio was being recorded, as the camera was outside the bus and they were inside the bus. Clearly, they had wireless mics on, but they either weren’t told or they forgot that the cameraperson had started filming.

So they get to the bus door and Trump starts knocking on the door as if someone was supposed to come to the bus from the outside and let them out!!! 😀 HAHAHAHA

So the dude [I later found out this was Billy Bush] tells Trump how to open a bus door by pulling the handle…… 😀 HAHAHAHA

They get out of the bus and the chick offers them both professional handshakes, there’s more interaction and they walk into the studio.

I’m still like so what? How’s this supposed to tank Trump’s campaign when nothing else he’s said and done this entire time hasn’t had any effect at all?

Reality First

Now, Before we start discussing the actual transcript of this situation, which was provided to us by http://www.nytimes.com/2016/10/08/us/donald-trump-tape-transcript.html?_r=0, let’s get something straight. 😀

“Locker Room Talk” most definitely exists.

It has always existed and it will always exist.

I guarantee you that some of the cavemen were describing what they did with cavewomen to their caveman homeboys. Either that, or they were describing what they *WANTED* to do or *WISHED* they would get the opportunity to do with such-and-such a cavewoman.

So that isn’t going to change and you may as well get used to it. Welcome to reality.

The fact is, however, that this isn’t something that someone’s going to tell you, which is why it seems to you like nobody does it. A husband isn’t going to tell his wife that he used to tell his boys back in the day about chicks he hooked up with when he was in college. A father isn’t going to tell his daughter that he did that. Depending on the relationship between them, a BROTHER isn’t going to tell his SISTER that he did that.

So the guys that do it (talk) look exactly like the guys that don’t do it because they’re going to deny it even after you read this and then go ask them! 😀 HAHAHA

So the part about the talking is why I was like “So what? \o/”.

What they were talking *ABOUT* and how excited they were about what they were talking about is a different story entirely.

There’s a difference between “What happened with that chick you were talking to at the party? :D” “We had a good time.. Messed around.. I made her breakfast. :D” and stories about what you can get away with doing to chicks that aren’t necessarily interested in you, based on the fact that you’re rich, famous, popular, or whatever.

Are there guys that NEVER HAVE and NEVER WILL “locker room talk”? 😀 Yep. Just like there are guys that have never cheated on their wives or girlfriends.

What I’m saying is that you’re doing yourself a disservice to believe the fantasy that guys aren’t telling their friends about their sexual exploits. In fact, which is a totally different topic, guys even *LIE* and SAY the hooked up with chicks that they didn’t have anything to do with so they can get credit from their friends, but that’s a discussion for a different day.

Let’s discuss this transcript:

Let’s. Go. To The. Videotape!

*** From here on, I’m not going to redact the text because the sentences wouldn’t make any sense, so if you don’t want to read curses, etc., Change the channel NOW!!! 😀 ***

I wanted to write about this because a lot of people don’t / can’t understand what happened in this conversation. There’s a lot more than the 2 or 3 topics that have been written about by people who either don’t know what they were reading or elected not to discuss what they read.

This is actually a very interesting interaction between a couple of Herbs.

There’s educational content here.

Before we get started, let’s make a mental note that at the time of this conversation, both Trump & Bush had wives and daughters. Trump was 59 years old and currently expecting a child with his 3rd wife. Bush was 33 years old. Neither of these dudes were kids or college students or any other stage other than grown-ass men when this happened, so if you think “locker room talk” is something only kids do, you’re wrong. Welcome to reality.


Following is an unedited transcript of the tape in which Donald J. Trump repeatedly made vulgar comments about women. Mr. Trump was filmed talking to the television personality Billy Bush of “Access Hollywood” on the set of “Days of Our Lives,” where Mr. Trump was making a cameo appearance. They are later joined by the actress Arianne Zucker. The transcription is by Penn Bullock of The New York Times.

Donald J. Trump: You know and …

Unknown: She used to be great. She’s still very beautiful.

Trump: I moved on her, actually. You know, she was down on Palm Beach. I moved on her, and I failed. I’ll admit it.

Unknown: Whoa.

So what’s happening here is Trump is explaining how he tried to bag some chick and didn’t get on (surprise of surprises).

When this tape was shown to the public several days ago, it was soon revealed that the woman Trump is talking about is Nancy O’Dell. businessinsider.com/nancy-odell-responds-to-donald-trump-billy-bush-tape-2016-10.

This is *EXTREMELY* important because if you look at en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Access_Hollywood#On-air_staff, you will see that O’Dell was on the show from 1996 to 2009 and Bush was on the show from 2001 to 2016.

In fact, O’Dell & Bush co-hosted Access Hollywood between 2004 and 2009, meaning that in 2005, Trump was telling Bush about how he had been trying to screw his current coworker.

Bush’s current coworker at NBC.

NBC owns Access Hollywood. NBC also owns the Today show.

Bush was immediately “indefinitely suspended” from his job.

So the people who were wondering why Bush got canned while Trump is still campaigning away, you can stop wondering.

Bush & O'Dell
(Bush & O’Dell)

Trump: I did try and fuck her. She was married.

stop. stop. Stop right there! 😀 hahaha

This right here is practically insane. 😀

When the bus door first opens, about 1 minute into the video, at least 5 dudes exit. You can hear all of their voices in the background, so they must have been able to hear what Trump was saying.

So now, not only has he named the chick he was trying to screw, but he’s said in front of all these dudes that he was trying to get her behind her husband’s back.

That isn’t information for the general population. You don’t know which one of those dudes knows her husband. What’s worse.. You don’t know which one of those dudes, since it’s an Access Hollywood bus, are her coworkers that are going to rush back and tell Nancy they just heard Trump saying he had been trying to bag her.

Also, “she was married” has nothing to do with the story, unless a) you’re trying to use that as a part of your excuse for why you didn’t get on, or b) you’re trying to impress these guys you’re talking to by claiming extra difficulty points for your attempt.

In fact, you don’t get any extra points because the chick is married, but that’s a different topic.

Trump also probably lost points with women for not calling sex “making love”, but that’s also a different topic.

Fast-Forwarding to the footage release in 2016 while Trump is campaigning, there are a lot of people who hope Trump wins who call themselves religious, but they actually aren’t.

Screwing some dude’s wife is known as Adultery.


This article is about the Christian and Jewish views of adultery. For a general discussion, see Adultery.

“Thou shalt not commit adultery”, one of the Ten Commandments, is found at Exodus 20:14 of the Tanakh and Old Testament. What constitutes adultery is not defined in this passage of the Bible, and has been the subject of debate within Judaism and Christianity. Some Jewish sources (Chizkuni, Ibn Ezra) say that this commandment prohibits all sexually deviant acts, not only adultery.[1]

So besides some dude finding out that Trump tried to screw his wife, Trump is admitting to attempting to sin and failing.

Unknown: That’s huge news.

Trump: No, no, Nancy. No, this was [unintelligible] — and I moved on her very heavily. In fact, I took her out furniture shopping.


Picard Facepalm

This is Herb City.

Taking a chick furniture shopping is called Leading With Your Wallet. It’s a typical Herb tactic, similar to having a set of keys with a luxury car logo on them out in your hand while you’re having a drink at the bar.

Put the keys back in your pocket. Put your wallet away. Learn how to talk to women.

This is also a strange story. I’m not saying I believe *ANY* of this. I’m just talking about what was said on the tape and transcribed.

Let’s say, hypothetically, that Trump offered to buy O’Dell furniture… He just finished saying that she was married. How is she supposed to explain this furniture magically appearing to her husband? o_O

If that’s not what Trump was saying, he’s saying he sat in his car while his chauffeur drove them somewhere so O’Dell could purchase furniture for herself, which certainly doesn’t qualify as “moved on her very heavily”.

Either way, the story’s very strange. I’ve never heard of someone trying to get laid by buying a chick furniture.

$200 dinners? Yes. Trips, Clothes, Money? Yes. Apartments, Cars? Yes.

Again, this is only something that would impress Herbs, and it’s only something a Herb would say to try to impress someone.

She wanted to get some furniture. I said, “I’ll show you where they have some nice furniture.” I took her out furniture —

I moved on her like a bitch. But I couldn’t get there. And she was married. Then all of a sudden I see her, she’s now got the big phony tits and everything. She’s totally changed her look.


First of all, that isn’t the proper usage of “like a bitch”. The word “like” means “similar to”, therefore Trump is calling himself a bitch.

What he meant to say is “It was a bitch trying to move on her”, meaning that it was a daunting task.

What he was trying to convey is that he pulled out all the stops and tried every trick he could think of and she still wouldn’t spread her legs.

Trump seems to be reveling in his failure. 😀

It’s like he’s telling them how he was up to bat with bases loaded in the World Series and hit into a triple play, and he’s all happy about it.

Second, he had already said that she was married, but then we all know by now that Trump repeats himself extremely often. Extremely often. Many people say so.

Unfortunately, we don’t get to hear whether “big phony tits” qualify as an upgrade, because Bush sees a chick out the window:

Billy Bush: Sheesh, your girl’s hot as shit. In the purple.

Trump: Whoa! Whoa!

Bush: Yes! The Donald has scored. Whoa, my man!

[Insert another Picard Facepalm here]

So now these dudes are excited like they’ve never seen an attractive chick before. 😀 hahaha oh man

Bush didn’t do himself any favors at home by getting all excited about how some chick that isn’t his wife looks. 😀

Also, if a chick assigned to greet you and walk you from a bus into a studio counts as scoring?…. Sucks to be you.


Trump: Look at you, you are a pussy.


For clarification for people who haven’t seen the video, Trump is talking to one of the dudes on the bus when he says that.

Trump: All right, you and I will walk out.


Trump: Maybe it’s a different one.

Bush: It better not be the publicist. No, it’s, it’s her, it’s —

Trump: Yeah, that’s her. With the gold. I better use some Tic Tacs just in case I start kissing her. You know, I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything.

Since Trump is currently, excited, he’s mashing his sentences together like he does at his rallies when he isn’t slooooooowly reading what someone else wrote from the teleprompter.

It isn’t clear what he’s saying here, but many people have said that Trump is describing sexual assault.

We need to know what “I don’t even wait” means. Wait for what? o_O

Wait to ask her name?
Wait to get her in the limo?
Wait to see if she feels like kissing him?

Trump’s ramblings interpreted literally, as if he mentally forms coherent, complete sentences, would mean that one second a chick is standing there not thinking about Trump at all, and the next second, Trump is kissing her and since he’s a star, she lets him do that and anything else he wants to her.

Another thing odd about this section is that apparently, by the way they greet each other when Trump finally gets off the bus, the chick doesn’t even know Trump at all, and probably never met him before in her life… They’re arriving to film a television show. They aren’t arriving at the club and this is some chick that was sent to serve their table bottles of champagne and make herself available to Trump for whatever pleases him. WHY would he say “I better use some Tic Tacs just in case I start kissing her”?

This is one of the things that annoys women the most. They think they aren’t sexual targets while they’re at work. In fact, sexual harassment laws were invented to STOP workplace sexual harassment from occurring, upon threat of losing your job.

Before that, it was “anything goes”.

So, while guys are going to perceive this situation as Trump getting caught talking trash, a lot of women are going to be just plain MAD about what he said because they want to believe they aren’t seen as sex objects in the year 2016 (or 2005, if you count when the video was filmed), and quite a few women are going to be “triggered” by this situation, as they themselves have been victims of sexual assault.

As of 2015, surveys are reporting that 1 in 5, or 20% of women say they were sexually assaulted. -> washingtonpost.com/sf/local/2015/06/12/1-in-5-women-say-they-were-violated/

And that’s just the women who were comfortable saying so. The percentage has got to be higher than that.

This is why it wasn’t smart for Trump to try to brush it off when Anderson Cooper was grilling him about sexual assault.


It also wasn’t smart of Trump to say “No, I have not” on national television, because now Gloria Allred is on the case.

“Gloria Allred Says More Women Are Contacting Her About Trump Misconduct”

Gloria Allred, the civil rights lawyer who takes on high-profile targets, like Bill Cosby, Roman Polanski and, yes, Trump, confirmed to us that since the Access Hollywood tape’s release, she has been “contacted by women who allege inappropriate contact by Mr. Trump.”

Again, however, the bus conversation is braggadocio aimed at attempting to impress a fellow Herb.

When Trump gets off the bus, he acts like he’s never touched a woman in his entire life, much less like he’s some sexual super-predator running around trying to trade furniture for sex.

Bush: Whatever you want.

Trump: Grab ’em by the pussy. You can do anything.

Sooooooooo……… If you knew *ANYTHING* about this situation before reading this article, you knew THAT line!! 😀 hahaha

Again.. This is trash-talking by a Herb. Look how nervous he is when he gets out of the bus and how he doesn’t dare do any of the nonsense he just finished talking about to the chick. In fact, Trump looks scared of her.

We’ll get to that later. 😀

Depending on the context (And we don’t have any. We only have what Trump actually said), THIS amounts to sexual assault.

However.. Not everyone agrees with that. -> “GOP Senator Says Grabbing A Woman’s Genitals Is Not Sexual Assault”

Trump’s going to lose points here for not saying “vagina” just like he didn’t say “making love”.

He’s also going to lose points because he appears to be describing something the chick didn’t want to happen = sexual assault.

I think the main problem here is Trump isn’t used to chicks being sexually attracted to him.

When you get all your chicks because you bought them with furniture or you’re rich, famous, or both, you have no track record of seducing women or having them seduce themselves because they feel turned on when you’re around.

Again, this is a juvenile conversation. They’re talking about feeling chicks up and kissing them as if they’re in junior high school….. At the ages of 59 and 33.

You aren’t supposed to be SURPRISED that chicks want you to kiss or touch them. It’s not supposed to be a TRICK. 😀 At the age of 70 and having 5 kids off of 3 different chicks, some of whom you were cheating on with your next wife, you’re supposed to be experienced enough that seeing an attractive chick doesn’t cause you to DANGER WILL ROBINSON malfunction.

Chicks aren’t supposed to LET YOU do things to them. They’re supposed to WANT YOU TO DO THINGS TO THEM.

Anyway.. Now there are fathers and mothers all over the country imagining Trump doing that to their daughters. There are also women who have been sexually assaulted who are now being triggered just by SEEING Trump, so you can forget about them VOTING for him so this guy can start making up laws and repealing laws that have a negative effect on women’s safety.

Also, in general, women aren’t going to want to believe the gist of all this, that if you’re a star, you can do what you want to women.

In fact, guys who aren’t stars are going to hope it isn’t true also!! 😀 hahaha

They’d like to believe their girlfriend isn’t going to make out with some 90,000-year-old star just because he hopped off a bus with Tic Tac breath.

Bush: Uh, yeah, those legs, all I can see is the legs.

Trump: Oh, it looks good.

Bush: Come on shorty.

Trump: Ooh, nice legs, huh?

Bush: Oof, get out of the way, honey. Oh, that’s good legs. Go ahead.

More sleeping-on-the-couch time for Bush.

Trump: It’s always good if you don’t fall out of the bus. Like Ford, Gerald Ford, remember?

Bush: Down below, pull the handle.

Trump: Hello, how are you? Hi!

Arianne Zucker: Hi, Mr. Trump. How are you? Pleasure to meet you.

Trump: Nice seeing you. Terrific, terrific. You know Billy Bush?

Bush: Hello, nice to see you. How you doing, Arianne?

Zucker: Doing very well, thank you. Are you ready to be a soap star?

Trump: We’re ready, let’s go. Make me a soap star.

As soon as he gets off the bus, Trump shakes hands with Zucker, and then he’s frozen, stiff as if he’s posin’.

You see him in the streets and you see no signs…


No kissing. No grabbing. No automatic anything.

This is the problem with trash-talking Herbs. All bark and no bite. The only time anything ever happens for them is under the PEEERRRFFFEEECCCTTT circumstances.

Bush: How about a little hug for the Donald? He just got off the bus.


What does getting off of a bus have to do with hugging people? o_O

Was it a hardship, being on the bus?

Was it cold on the bus and Trump needs warming up?

That was just a stupid line.

He may as well have said “Why don’t you hug Trump because it’s daytime in Canada?”

Zucker: Would you like a little hug, darling?

Trump: O.K., absolutely. Melania said this was O.K.


Melania said WHAT was ok? o_O

When he was leaving the house, did Melania say “oh… In case any attractive chicks are there, it’s ok if you hug them! 😀 .. Here’s your bologna sandwich for lunch.. Have a nice day! :D”?

What was the point of that sentence?

Who was Trump talking to? o_O

How did Melania say “this was ok” when Trump saw the chick for the first time in life when the bus rolled up?

Bush: How about a little hug for the Bushy? I just got off the bus.

Same lame bus line.

I’m going to have to try this out.

“Can I get a hug? I’m waiting for the bus just like you are! :D”
“Can I get a hug? I just entered this subway car! :D”
“Can I get a hug? It’s Tuesday! :D”
“Can I get a hug? I’m not 6 feet tall! :D”
“Can I get a hug? Istanbul was Constantinople”
“Can I get a hug? I wear my sunglasses at night so I can so I can”
“Can I get a hug? The elevator might take long to come get us.”
“Can I get a hug? We’re both in the USA right now! :D”
“Can I get a hug? Last Christmas, this is where they had the mistletoe.”

Zucker: Bushy, Bushy.

Bush: Here we go. Excellent. Well, you’ve got a nice co-star here.

Zucker: Yes, absolutely.

Trump: Good. After you.

[Break in video]

Trump: Come on, Billy, don’t be shy.

Bush: Soon as a beautiful woman shows up, he just, he takes off. This always happens.

Another lame excuse to mention that the chick is attractive.

Trump: Get over here, Billy.

Zucker: I’m sorry, come here.

Bush: Let the little guy in here, come on.


Zucker: Yeah, let the little guy in. How you feel now? Better? I should actually be in the middle.

Bush: It’s hard to walk next to a guy like this.

Zucker: Here, wait, hold on.

Bush: Yeah, you get in the middle, there we go.

Trump: Good, that’s better.

Zucker: This is much better. This is —

Trump: That’s better.

Zucker: [Sighs]

Bush: Now, if you had to choose honestly between one of us. Me or the Donald?

Trump: I don’t know, that’s tough competition.

Zucker: That’s some pressure right there.

Bush: Seriously, if you had — if you had to take one of us as a date.

Zucker: I have to take the Fifth on that one.

Bush: Really?

Zucker: Yup — I’ll take both.

I mean this is practically a HANDBOOK of lame things to say to a chick.

“Between us two married guys with multiple children each, which one of us would you rather go on a date with?”

Really? o_O

Trump: Which way?

Zucker: Make a right. Here we go. [inaudible]

Bush: Here he goes. I’m gonna leave you here.

Trump: O.K.

Bush: Give me my microphone.

Trump: O.K. Oh, you’re finished?

Bush: You’re my man, yeah.

Trump: Oh, good.

Bush: I’m gonna go do our show.

Zucker: Oh, you wanna reset? O.K.

Don’t Follow Jobless People When You Have A Job

So you see there were quite a few problems with this situation, including talking trash about trying to screw an Access Hollywood anchorwoman on an Access Hollywood bus with her Access Hollywood co-anchor.

“Billy Bush Negotiating Exit From NBC’s ‘Today’ Show”

Billy Bush and NBC are negotiating his exit from NBC News, sources tell The Hollywood Reporter.

His impending exit — which could come this week — will cap a whirlwind few days that began last Friday when the Washington Post released video of a lewd and misogynistic 2005 conversation between Bush, then the co-host of NBC’s Access Hollywood, and GOP presidential nominee Donald Trump.

When the tape leaked, one celebrity publicist told THR, “People who were already booked non the Today show were saying, ‘Maybe we should look at GMA or make sure it’s not him doing the interview.’ There are people who wouldn’t talk to him before the news. At Access, he was always ‘that guy.’ There were people who were anxious about him before he started [on Today].”

There’s no reason to attempt to malign “locker room talk” because it isn’t going to end.

It *IS* pretty stupid, though, to talk that yang on a company bus, on company time, WHILE you have lavalier mics and wireless transmitters attached to your body! 😀 hahaha

Another good lesson here is that sometimes, you shouldn’t follow people into situations that they can get themselves out of and you can’t.

You might not want to co-sign everything someone says just because you consider them a celebrity or you think they can help you with your career.

You don’t have to laugh at all their jokes. You don’t have to get down with all their schemes. Especially when you’re working and on the clock.

Of course it’s never a good idea to tell random dudes that you’re trying to screw people’s wives.

It also isn’t a good idea to give people the impression that you feel like if you weren’t a star, you wouldn’t get any physical contact at all from women.

I mean just generally, this conversation sounded like a junior high school field trip.

It’s like the dudes that try to get credit for the number of chicks they say they’ve messed with.

If you haven’t lost track of the count yet, you don’t have much of a career anyway.

Join the Conversation

1 Comment

  1. Reality Bites, He is a loser. If he doesn’t lose, he must have a hell of a video tape of Hillary and Bill stealing from the federal reserve.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.