As a chick I’ve known for around a decade introduced me IRL to another chick I was meeting for the first time in life, in the process of attempting to explain who I am, the term “misogynistic” arrived in a sentence. Something to the effect of “I felt like sometimes what he says is misogynistic…”
Misogyny (/mɪˈsɒdʒɪni/) is the hatred of, contempt for, or prejudice against women or girls. Misogyny can be manifested in numerous ways, including social exclusion, sex discrimination, hostility, androcentrism, patriarchy, male privilege, belittling of women, violence against women, and sexual objectification. Misogyny can occasionally be found within sacred texts of religions and mythologies, and various influential Western philosophers and thinkers have been described as misogynistic.
Sexual objectification is the act of treating a person as an instrument of sexual pleasure. Objectification more broadly means treating a person as a commodity or an object without regard to their personality or dignity. Objectification is most commonly examined at the level of a society, but can also refer to the behavior of individuals.
Now, First of all, I’m glad she said that. 🙂
a) That’s how she really felt (or perhaps also feels currently).
b) She was comfortable enough with me to tell me how she really feels.
c) That’s the only way to carry on an authentic relationship.
Of course now I’ve managed to give away the entire point of my blog post, so you can actually stop reading this right now.
My reactions, in order, were:
1) Did she really just bring this up right now in front of a chick I’m meeting IRL for the first time in life?
2) Yeah, I understand why she said that, hehe.
3) Everything she just said about me is accurate, but I don’t want this conversation to degenerate into a discussion about how the word Misogyny is an overused blanket statement, so I’ll just let that part slide by even though it looks like I’m co-signing her assessment.
4) Explain to the ladies why the truth sounds like misogyny to them.
Misogyny *LITERALLY* means woman-hater, and that’s all it means.
1650s, from Modern Latin misogynia, from Greek misogynia, from misogynes “woman-hater,” from miso- (see miso-) + gyne “woman” (see queen).
However, you can see from the definition I posted in the beginning that the term has been extended to mean basically anything women don’t feel like hearing, including the truth.
People enjoy stretching definitions of things to include more things for their own convenience.
For example, the people who are scared of spiders are called arachnophobes. By the definition of the two words combined to make up that term, that makes sense. But then they want to add in the people who hate spiders or who are disgusted by spiders. Neither of those groups of people are SCARED of spiders at all, but they’re still called arachnophobes instead of a term that actually applies to them. People who are scared of spiders run away from them. People who hate spiders squash them.
So basically, anything that you say that someone objects to can be labeled misogynistic, such as “Yes, you look fat in that dress.”
This brings up a few questions:
a) Did she ask your opinion about how she looks?.. If not, you could have kept that to yourself.
b) Does she want the truth from you or not?
c) Is she fat or not?
d) Is she not-fat, yet the dress makes her look like she is because of how it hangs, or maybe the jeans are making her look fat because she’s stuffing too much waist into them at the time being, but she looks perfectly fine when she takes those jeans off.
e) Are you doing her a good service by not allowing her to walk outside looking less-than-prime?
Anyway.. Nothing about that statement indicates that you hate women.
Similarly, Nothing about the statement “aww man.. Check her out! 😀 I’d tax that ass like the government! \o/” indicates that you hate women.
Meanwhile, it will be considered misogynistic because
ok. There’s no because. People just enjoy living in the Loser Society where everybody pretends that none of these guys want to screw any of these chicks until all the guys are together and they’re all discussing how all of them would enjoy tagging up on all of those chicks.
If you run a race and you come in last, you lost. In this particular race, you are A LOSER. Next time run faster or run against weaker opponents, or you’re going to LOSE AGAIN. Live with that or improve yourself. No trophy for you. Nothing. The winners win and the losers lose.
In Loser Society, it’s a mystery to women how they get laid.
I’ll tell you how. The dude felt like doing it and eventually you agreed and “gave him some”. End of story.
So you see why I fully understood why my homegirl said what she said about me, though she could have waited until *AFTER* I had an opportunity to make my own first impression with the new chick, but c’est la vie. 😀
A Wild & Crazy Guy
The reason I felt like bringing this up is that recently, “some dude” is being bitched at for making a statement about “some chick” that amounted to “I thought she was attractive and then I found out she was also intelligent.”
If we’re willing to take this guy’s word for his comment being a true statement regarding the evolution of his understanding of the gal, it makes perfect sense and there’s nothing to cry about.
Unless you’re still using AOL dial-up text chatting, you know what a chick looks like before you know ANYTHING that she thinks, does, or has accomplished.
The statement that the first impression you had of her was either “she’s aesthetically pleasing to look at” or “I immediately felt like taxing that ass like the government” makes sense so long as you’re being honest about your first or early impression of a chick you saw before you heard (or read).
The statement that you gained an appreciation for her mental capacity or her proficiency in a particular field of business or the arts is also factual, assuming she actually has those abilities and you eventually became aware of them.
So when you put the statements together, like arachno-phobe, “She looked good to me and then I found out she was intelligent” is a truthful statement with ZERO woman-hatred in it, and should be treated as such.
(See what I did, there? :D)
You either want the truth or you don’t.
Loser Society only wants convenient truths that make them feel good about things they shouldn’t feel good about.
If you lost the race, that means you’re slower than someone who finished before you, which means that if that animal is chasing y’all in the woods, you die and the faster person does not.
If you can output 20 widgets per day at the factory you work in and the next person can output 30 widgets per day, when it’s time to cut costs, *YOU* are getting fired, not the more efficient worker.
If a dude thinks a chick is attractive or wants to wax that ass or whatever, it isn’t your job to attempt to change his mind. It’s your job to spectate and cheer or boo from the peanut gallery.
At the end of the day, nobody cares what you think anyway.
The only thing you accomplish by attempting to berate someone for telling you the truth is that that person stops telling you the truth.
Enjoy that life if you can.
See, they only tell you the first part of the “Do I look fat in this dress?” story. 😀 hahaha
They don’t tell you what happens after the dude *KNOWS* she looks fat due to dressing herself improperly, yet pretends that he’s not looking at what he’s looking at so he can get laid later tonight with her, and then she goes out in public like that and is like :O when she looks at all the social media pictures and videos of her LOOKING FAT IN THAT DRESS and then the dude doesn’t get laid anyway because now she’s mad that he didn’t tell her the truth.
She’ll be mad at you for like a day if you tell her to go back to her room and try dressing herself again, but this time looking in the mirror while she does it.
She’ll be mad at you for months, if not all the way to the end of your now-declining “relationship” if she feels like she can’t trust your word because if you *LIED* about her looking fat in that dress, what else did you lie about, including actually getting a divorce from your wife like you told her was supposed to happen several months ago when you moved in with her?…..
But that’s the life dudes want to live.. “Lie until you get caught”.
This is one of the reasons why women are often devastated when they figure out the lieS they’ve been living with this entire time and then they blather on about how the guy “changed”. No he didn’t. *YOU* just finally found out that he’s been pretending this entire time.
He was *LYING* and *PRETENDING* because if he didn’t, he’d wind up at a bar with some chick telling some other chick that she feels like he sometimes makes misogynistic statements.
Come Get Some
Back in the day, I used to play roller hockey several hours a day, every single day.
Because of this, I was better than ~95% of the kids & adults I was playing against.
However, by LOOKING AT ME, you wouldn’t have known this. 😀
So if I went somewhere completely new to play, where nobody knew who I was, people would assume they were better than I was.
And then they would get their ASSES HANDED TO THEM and make sure they picked me ASAP the next time teammates were selected.
It just wasn’t intelligent policy to have to play against me.
Regardless of how non-book-smart some people are, losing *HURTS*, which is all you need to know in order to make a better decision next time.
Nobody asked me if I could play. 😀
Nobody asked me if I thought I was better than all of them when I arrived.
Nobody asked me if I could skate in a straight line.
Nobody asked me if I preferred a plastic puck or 3M electrical tape (both of which I carried with me to the games).
And then they got what they got and woke up to reality.
This situation has repeated itself in other “arenas” where people aren’t aware how much I study situations before I get involved in them.
Cousin Frank summed it up extremely well the other day when he told me “I know that when you stop talking [meaning on social media], you’re preparing to do something amazing.”
This is true. I enjoy doing amazing things. Other stuff bores me. It’s just going through motions. I like finding new mountains and conquering them to my personal satisfaction.
You have no idea how many articles I’ve read.
You have no idea how many tutorial videos I’ve watched.
You have no idea how many techniques I’ve tried out myself and discarded or kept.
You have no idea whether I consider you a scrub or not.
You have no idea whether I consider you a creep or not.
All you know is what I told you, and I told you that for a reason.
I didn’t roll up to new hockey locations and ANNOUNCE TO THEM BEFOREHAND that I was better than they are.
They played against me, couldn’t stop me from scoring, couldn’t stop me from setting my teammates up to score, LOST THE GAMES AGAINST ME, and then gave me my proper respect whether they wanted to or not.
That didn’t mean they picked me for their team. That means they knew they were doomed if they skipped me and chose someone with less skill. If they chose to lose rather than pick me, that was their problem because I was going to win regardless, and I did, because the vast majority of them were nowhere near my level.
So right now, on social media, you have people that think they’re better than I am at things that I know damned well I’ll slaughter them in if they decide they want to challenge me.
This is fine with me because I’m not even remotely interested in what they think.
All I know is that if they ever get the nerve up to attempt to prove to their sycophants all that trash they’ve been talking, they’re going to get heavily and permanently EMBARRASSED, and then they’re going to give me my proper respect whether they like it or not.
This returns us to my original point.
There’s no reason to cry about the statement “When I first saw him, I figured he couldn’t play, but after watching him outshine everybody I previously thought was good, I realized he was an excellent roller hockey player.”
Am I supposed to be upset that I didn’t look like I played roller hockey every day while they only played on the weekends, never improved themselves, and got rusty 5 days out of 7 every week?
Am I supposed to be upset that they didn’t disregard my looks and automatically assume that all people are equally great at roller hockey?
“Sorry”.. That isn’t real life.
People can see you.
Most likely, they can see you before they can hear you.
Most likely, they will decide after seeing you whether they want to hear you or not.
Complaining about a dude who thinks a chick is attractive saying that he thinks that chick is attractive is doing nothing positive for your life. In fact, it’s depriving you of hearing further truths from that person because you don’t know how to mind your own business.
Having said that, there are definitely times when you want to lie and be fake, such as when you have to work with said chick and you don’t want her to feel uncomfortable every day coming in to work if she didn’t enjoy your advances and feel like giving you some.
And I don’t say that because they made up laws about workplace conduct. That’s just common sense, courtesy, and decency.
It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to bag chicks you work with. 😀 I’m saying it’s a special circumstance that calls for adherence to certain protocols, similar to how your tactics are going to be different depending on whether a chick is married or not.
Liking Women does not equal Hating Women.
Loving several women simultaneously doesn’t mean you don’t love *any* of them.
Real Life Happens. Your decision is whether you want to know about it or not. Nothing else changes. The song remains the same.
Whether the dude tells you something or not has no bearing on what his thoughts, feelings, or intentions are towards a particular chick.
Whether he finds her sexually attractive or not has no bearing on whether he thinks she’s intelligent or not.
That’s actually another thing.. Everybody in the Loser Society wants to be considered intelligent when a lot of people can’t even read well enough to get this far into my blog post! 😀
Suppression of honest communication leaves you with a life of deceit.
Don’t chastise people for telling you the truth now and then cry about them lying to you later.
If you lost the race, you want someone to help you improve yourself so you can run faster next time… OR you want someone who tells you the truth, which is that compared to your peers, you suck at running, so you’d better get used to not winning any races.
Similarly, it’s possible that the chick looks fat in that dress BUT it’s also possible that the chick is making the dress look fat.
In that case, you want someone to inform you that if you want to look better than you currently do, you should hit the gym… OR get used to appreciating yourself in your current physical shape.
If you aren’t willing to give your honest opinion (assuming you aren’t on the job or whatever extenuating circumstance), your opinion is ENTIRELY WORTHLESS.
Actually, your opinion is less than worthless because you aren’t helping that person improve as far as you see their current predicament.
If you would rather be surrounded by “yes men” who co-sign anything you do or say, enjoy that life, if you can.
Progressive people want to be around other Progressive people.
Why should I bother asking you what you think when I know you aren’t going to tell me what *YOU* think?
If this business idea isn’t going to work, tell me why you believe that.
If I accelerate slowly on rollerblades, tell me why you believe that and what you think I should do about it.
If I lost the race, you don’t have to tell me because I already know. 😀 haha I’m not a member of Loser Society. I’m merely surrounded by it.
The guy who got berated for his online statement is still saying the exact same thing to his real friends. He has now learned to stop sharing his reality with the peanut gallery. He is now contributing to the problem instead of being a part of the solution.
The solution being to make everyone aware that everyone has FREE WILL and is going to think & do whatever they want, regardless of whether you consider their actions Politically Correct.
Making the game board invisible doesn’t change the game.
It merely makes it an impossible game to play for the people who were already struggling with it.
Happy 2017!! 😀