Do guys really care how chicks look?

Roxanne writes:

I’ve heard both. “Guys go for the pretty girls.” But I’ve also heard that guys think girls fuss way too much over their appearance. Like makeup for example. Most guys really don’t care that much about it? What’s up with this big disconnect?

Wow, Rox… That’s a REALLY good question, which unfortunately calls for a complex answer. The first question is “what is makeup doing on women’s faces in the first place?”…….

In the animal kingdom, dogs, for instance, can tell when other dogs are receptive to sex by perceived cues. It might be a smell… It might be a behavior that coincides with being in the fertile phase of the cycle… It might be how the other dog’s skin looks… I’ve heard of something called “flagging”, but I’m no dog-breeding expert.

Anyway… Humans have bypassed these natural cues by utilizing items such as CLOTHES and DEODORANT. In most cases, whatever one’s natural emissions are are completely masked now. This is why people get compliments on their cologne or whatever it is they used in their hair, because all other smells have been suppressed.

This is where makeup comes in. Makeup FAKES certain skin conditions and basically cheats the guy, biologically, into feeling more attracted to her. For instance, you’ve seen someone become embarrassed, and their face turns red (blushing). Some people have naturally rosy cheeks. Others do not. All they have to do to fake rosy cheeks is paint their cheeks red. Same deal for enhancing lips and eyes and essentially coloring shadows onto a woman’s face to make it appear that her face has curves it really doesn’t have. Same thing with plucking eyebrows. HAHAHAHA I can imagine how many guys had kids with women that they THOUGHT had slim eyebrows, and then the kid came out with some kind of bushy unibrow, hehehe 😀 but I digress……

Now that we know where the makeup came from, we can look at what guys consider to be “pretty girls”. Obviously, that’s subjective. Everyone has their own idea of what’s attractive and what isn’t. Even though I’ve seen makeup do ABSOLUTE WONDERS for some women….. I’m not a makeup fan. Applied stylishly, it can give a girl a HOT look, except the only time you’re going to see her like that is when she makes herself up like that. The rest of the time, she’s going to look like Plain Jane, and you’d better hope you like her that way. We’ve also seen on television when women go to sleep on their “face” and wake up looking like The Joker after he got caught out in the rain without his umbrella. :/ no good. Having said that, there are some guys that won’t be seen with a woman AT ALL unless she has makeup on and her clothes and hair are proper and she looks ‘right’.

So… Do guys go for the pretty girls? Yes. Definitely! 😀 However, the path to “pretty” doesn’t go through makeupville. Attractive is Attractive. She could look good in a professional suit-skirt. She could look good in sweats and sneakers after playing frisbee for three hours in Central Park. She could look good with glasses on. She could look good with contacts in. She could look good in a box. She could look good with a fox. She could look tasty like green eggs & ham! ;p~~~~~ um… what point was I making? :/

Anyway… the “too much fuss over appearance” thing is that there isn’t much difference for the guy in whether she wears the green shirt or the red shirt. Whether she wears the Manolo boots or the Payless boots. Whether she wears the skirt 3″ above her knee or 5″ above her knee… what belt she puts on… yadda yadda yadda. If the guy’s into whatever her natural beauty is, all extra preparation she’s doing is useless to him and a waste of time. That can include makeup. So, yes… Guys like pretty girls… Pretty does NOT equal Painted…. and women need to give themselves a break and take a guy’s word for it when he says “you look great… let’s go”. 🙂

That doesn’t mean to show up all disheveled and looking like a BUM! :/ Just figure out “when to say when”. 😀

DatingGenius

How to treat the ‘birds’

Young brother Rob has joined us from Newcastle, UK. I’m not sure how close that is to Nottingham Forest, but the same rules apply for you that applied for Robin Hood’s Merry Men!

….. shows how much I know about the UK :/ …..

The birds really enjoy….. um… do y’all still call them ‘birds’? I get all my information about England from James Bond movies and VH1 specials about the Beatles….. the Beatles….. :/ You know, the guys that look like Oasis….. um… anyway…….

The birds really enjoy being treated with courtesy. All that stuff that Robin Hood and them used to do…. Oh, do y’all still have groups of “Merry Men” roaming around in your woods? We have these people called “Guardian Angels” that roam around together and wear the same clothes and make things safe in neighborhoods. Er… same clothes meaning “same as each other”, not “same as they had on yesterday”… but that wouldn’t make them DIFFERENT from “Merry Men” anyway, would it? 😀 I mean how much different gear have you seen Friar Tuck in? I’m pretty sure he only owned that one brown outfit… so it’s fortunate that he didn’t need to pick up any birds because birds enjoy “difference” in a bloke’s clothing selection. They also enjoy colors and sparkly things, but that’s a different topic. 😀

Anyway, Guv’nuh, courtesy goes a long way with the birds, right? So @ 4:00, when you’re sharing a spot of tea with a young lady you like, make sure to hand her HER tea FIRST, and wait for her to start sipping before starting yours. Don’t “DOG IT” like it’s the only drink you’ve had in hours… well… even if it IS the only drink you’ve had in hours :/ … SIP IT like you’re civilized. When you’re going somewhere, hold the door open for her. At the fast food establishment… what do y’all have over there? Arthur Treacher’s Fish & Chips? Well, let her order her Fish & Chips first and then let her hold her tray up while you work the tartar-sauce-machine for her. 😀

Now… don’t get carried away with courtesy. 🙁 Sometimes they just go completely overboard in these movies… I don’t know who they let WRITE these things sometimes! :/ It’s like they let people that have never been on a date before… write scenes about people going on dates! 😀 If you’re walking with a bird and you see a puddle of mud, DO NOT take off your new Jimi Hendrix denim jacket and put it down so she can walk over it!!! TELL.HER.TO.WALK.A-ROUNDDDDDDD!!! :/

Jolly good show, wot? There you go then, laddie! Stiff upper lip! 😀

DatingGenius

She’s Right!!!

Yes sir, fellas…. your girlfriend/wife/whatever is right. She’s correct. No doubt…

……

…….. :/

….. “She’s right about WHAT?” you ask? …..

EVERYTHING!!! 😀

That’s right! The key to YOUR happiness is that your girlfriend IS RIGHT! “She’s right” makes her feel good and then she makes YOU feel good, dig? 😀 If she’s WRONG… then she feels BAD and then she makes YOU FEEL BAD!!! 🙁

So… If you’re driving to the mall, and you know full well that you need to make a left, 🙂 and she tells you to make a right… what are you going to do???

That’s right! You’re going to make a right! 😀 And you’re going to drive and drive and drive until you arrive @ the mall purely by luck or until she admits ON HER OWN that she doesn’t know where in the world you are right now and “lets” you figure out how to get where you’re going. Yes. That’s the ticket! 🙂 Even if the mall’s one block away and obscured by trees… do NOT go “Nah, you’re buggin’. The mall’s to the left right behind those trees. See that water tower?”. Nope. Don’t do it. It’s not worth it! 😀

If you do that, yes, you arrive at the mall approximately one hour earlier than you would have if you follow her incorrect directions. You also save gas money! 😀 However, that hour’s a waste of your time (or worse), because now she’s upset. 🙁

The moral of the story is that it’s better to drive needlessly in circles with a happy girlfriend than to hang out at the mall with an unhappy girlfriend.

Oh…. If you’d like to avoid both her getting upset AND driving in circles, do this:

When she says for you to make a right, drive up to the intersection and SUDDENLY WHIP A LEFT!!! Immediately act like nothing’s out of the ordinary. This makes her think that YOU made a mistake. When she says “I said ‘right’, not ‘left’! :/” point to your right and say “oh… THAT right?” and pretend to be lost and trying to get back to where she suggested you go until you “accidentally” end up @ the mall.

The moral of the story is that it’s better for your girlfriend to be happy, believing that YOU’RE an idiot… than it is for her to be upset that you pointed out that she doesn’t know how to get to the mall. 😀

Take one for the team!!! 😀

girlfriend+happy > girlfriend+upset

DatingGenius

Why Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy

A reader sent in a question regarding guys getting money from girls for sex in the same way that girls get money from guys for sex……

————-

The thing about being a ho… male or female… is that you have to understand what you’re going to get and what you’re not going to get. You can get people to spend their time with you and spend their money on you, but you’re not going to be respected AT.ALL.

People that are for sale are worth the amount of money that they’re selling for. Not only that… They’re not selling anything different from the next ho, so there’s no loyalty involved or care or love or anything like that. If hoes are in it for the business, then fine, it works for them. If they’re in it thinking they’re having real relationships, they’re going to be in for a rude awakening when they get replaced by a better or cheaper ho. 🙂

Having said that…

In order for a male ho (called a gigolo) to match the abilities of a female ho (called a ho), you’d have to associate with women on the monetary level of the men that the hoes are dealing with. You can’t “get pizaid” off of a chick that’s working fries in the fast food establishment. It doesn’t work the same way with girls that it does with guys. A GUY could work fries ’till payday, cash his check and blow his entire savings on one night with a girl then eat cereal with water for the next two weeks, with beans for dinner. :/ Girls have things to do with their money… such as SHOP and EAT. A guy can only count on getting A PERCENTAGE of a girl’s money, while the girl can count on getting ALL of a guy’s money. 😀 Therefore, you have to associate with VERY well-off women if you want to score the perks that females score off of even minimum-wage-earning male ‘tricks’ (guys that pay for sex).

In general, it’s very tough for guys to get paid for having sex with girls. This is why you see so many brothels containing women for sale to men, and you don’t see ANY brothels containing men for sale to women. NONE! I think they tried it a couple of times in Amsterdam or something, but they went bankrupt. 😀

The other problem is that women are actually into personalities, while men are into bodies. You’ll notice that men have Playboy Magazine and women have Harlequin Romances. You can’t REALLY be a player without having MANY skills to bring to the table. If you’re attractive and stupid, you can’t win. If you’re unattractive and smart, you can’t win! 😀 Meanwhile, the girls just have to look good, and they’ll have guys falling all over themselves to take them out and buy them stuff in the hopes of getting on.

What should you have done differently? ….. Hang out @ the country club instead of the mall. 😀

DatingGenius

What if I don’t have a significant other?

Jackson writes:

Hi, my name is Jackson, and I’m no good with the ladies. Tell me, Bill, how can I become a casanova in just a few simple steps?

Hello Jackson… Nice to meet you. 🙂 I’m glad you asked….. Let me see…….

Casanova in just a few simple steps….

Well… step one, we go all the way back to the basics. Women like colorful things… and shiny things, too. 😀 This is why every time you see a movie about pimps, they have on purple and orange at the same time. You take care of the “shiny” requirement with large gold chains a la “Huggy Bear”. Make sure to wash your gold chain frequently… toothpaste really brings out the lustre, BTW! 😀

So… everybody thinks pimps are pimps because of their gift of gab… not true at all! 😀 Pimps are pimps because the ladies see their colorful clothing and shiny jewelry and shoes and they just can’t resist coming over to the pimp and starting a conversation.

I notice from your avatar that you like hats. Hats are a great accessory, however, yours is a little too “regular”… :/ Invest in a sombrero and you’ll be aiiiite! Just make sure that your sombrero doesn’t clash with the rest of your outfit….. um… unless the sombrero matches your chains, of course! 😀

DatingGenius