Why Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy

A reader sent in a question regarding guys getting money from girls for sex in the same way that girls get money from guys for sex……

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The thing about being a ho… male or female… is that you have to understand what you’re going to get and what you’re not going to get. You can get people to spend their time with you and spend their money on you, but you’re not going to be respected AT.ALL.

People that are for sale are worth the amount of money that they’re selling for. Not only that… They’re not selling anything different from the next ho, so there’s no loyalty involved or care or love or anything like that. If hoes are in it for the business, then fine, it works for them. If they’re in it thinking they’re having real relationships, they’re going to be in for a rude awakening when they get replaced by a better or cheaper ho. πŸ™‚

Having said that…

In order for a male ho (called a gigolo) to match the abilities of a female ho (called a ho), you’d have to associate with women on the monetary level of the men that the hoes are dealing with. You can’t “get pizaid” off of a chick that’s working fries in the fast food establishment. It doesn’t work the same way with girls that it does with guys. A GUY could work fries ’till payday, cash his check and blow his entire savings on one night with a girl then eat cereal with water for the next two weeks, with beans for dinner. :/ Girls have things to do with their money… such as SHOP and EAT. A guy can only count on getting A PERCENTAGE of a girl’s money, while the girl can count on getting ALL of a guy’s money. πŸ˜€ Therefore, you have to associate with VERY well-off women if you want to score the perks that females score off of even minimum-wage-earning male ‘tricks’ (guys that pay for sex).

In general, it’s very tough for guys to get paid for having sex with girls. This is why you see so many brothels containing women for sale to men, and you don’t see ANY brothels containing men for sale to women. NONE! I think they tried it a couple of times in Amsterdam or something, but they went bankrupt. πŸ˜€

The other problem is that women are actually into personalities, while men are into bodies. You’ll notice that men have Playboy Magazine and women have Harlequin Romances. You can’t REALLY be a player without having MANY skills to bring to the table. If you’re attractive and stupid, you can’t win. If you’re unattractive and smart, you can’t win! πŸ˜€ Meanwhile, the girls just have to look good, and they’ll have guys falling all over themselves to take them out and buy them stuff in the hopes of getting on.

What should you have done differently? ….. Hang out @ the country club instead of the mall. πŸ˜€

DatingGenius

What if I don’t have a significant other?

Jackson writes:

Hi, my name is Jackson, and I’m no good with the ladies. Tell me, Bill, how can I become a casanova in just a few simple steps?

Hello Jackson… Nice to meet you. πŸ™‚ I’m glad you asked….. Let me see…….

Casanova in just a few simple steps….

Well… step one, we go all the way back to the basics. Women like colorful things… and shiny things, too. πŸ˜€ This is why every time you see a movie about pimps, they have on purple and orange at the same time. You take care of the “shiny” requirement with large gold chains a la “Huggy Bear”. Make sure to wash your gold chain frequently… toothpaste really brings out the lustre, BTW! πŸ˜€

So… everybody thinks pimps are pimps because of their gift of gab… not true at all! πŸ˜€ Pimps are pimps because the ladies see their colorful clothing and shiny jewelry and shoes and they just can’t resist coming over to the pimp and starting a conversation.

I notice from your avatar that you like hats. Hats are a great accessory, however, yours is a little too “regular”… :/ Invest in a sombrero and you’ll be aiiiite! Just make sure that your sombrero doesn’t clash with the rest of your outfit….. um… unless the sombrero matches your chains, of course! πŸ˜€

DatingGenius

Ladies, There’s Nothing Wrong With Aggressiveness!!!

Reader “Justice” writes:

Ladies I have to be completely honest with you. I’m sure some of you understand and know what I’m about to say. But, I’m going to put it out there anyway.

I know a lot of you still think that you are somewhat old fashion. But come on! In this day and age how many of you are really old fashion? OK, do you know what I’m getting at yet? Alright, here is my point.

Last night I was at a bar with some friends just having a good time and chilling at our table. I was admiring and checking out the woman and yes, believe it or not, there were a decent amount of good looking women in this place. I will be going back there! But back to the discussion. While I was sitting there having a good time with my friends a pretty young lady comes up to our table and just starts up a convo and asks me to dance. I gladly accepted. We danced and had fun and that was it. No dirty dancing or talking shit to each other. She said she loved to dance and I told her if she wanted to dance again she knew where I was sitting. Well about 15 minutes later she came back for another dance. We danced two songs and then she went back to her friends and I went back to mine. We didn’t talk for the rest of the evening. At the end of the night as I made my last pit stop I stopped to say goodbye and that it was nice to meet her. She proceeded to ask if I came here much and would I be coming back. I told her it was my first time there but I think I will come back. She told me, point blank, that she liked to dance and would love to go out dancing with me sometime. I said that would be great and she said, “Here, let me give you my number.” I took her number and we took a picture together, set up a date for next week and said our goodbyes. All in all a very good night.

Now, let me stress the point here that this was not some slutty, ugly, crazy ass girl. She was very pretty, well dressed, well spoken and very sweet. OK, Ladies do you know what I am about to say?

The actions that this girl took last night made my week!!!! She knew what she wanted and took the initiative to make it known. I didn’t ask her for her number, ask her to go out, approach her or anything like that. There were no games! I HATE GAMES!!!!! Ladies, it is ok to be agressive sometimes. Don’t make us guys have to make that move all the time. You know why? Because in those kinds of games you could be losing out on something very good! In my case, I am a shy man. Don’t get me wrong, once the initial contact is made and the convo gets started I’m fine. My weakness is that I am shy about approaching and starting that convo with a lady that catches my eye. Unfortunately, some woman say that I seem kind of unapproachable at times. I don’t understand that because I’m about the friendliest person you will ever meet. But, my shyness does inhibit me a little.

Look, I don’t know where this chance meeting from last night will go. But, I can tell you that I have the utmost respect for this woman for making that move. So, ladies, drop the act that you are too good to make that move. If you like a guy and you want to meet him… don’t stand there and act like you are too good to strike up a conversation. If you do you may miss out on a really good guy. Here is a hint for you. You may like bad boys, but you will almost always regret getting involved with one. Most of the good guys are too shy to just walk up to you and start talking shit. In my case I’m a good guy but I can also be a very bad boy once you break me out of that shell.

So once again I say be aggressive and take a chance ladies! Chances are you won’t regret it!

Alliance

While TRUST is the most crucial necessity in any form of relationship, ALLIANCE is what that relationship rests upon… I mean, not even ‘rests’… Alliance is all that you actually have. Well… you don’t even necessarily HAVE it…..

According to Niccolo Machiavelli, Ò€œIt is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be bothÒ€. Fear and love are both reasons for someone to align themselves with you. Not fear of YOU, necessarily. Fear of being alone. Fear of not being able to say they’re in a relationship. Fear for a woman of not having kids before she reaches her 40s. Fear for a guy of not coming home to prepared meals & definite sex. These motivations behind alliances LOOK the same as love, but the focus is different. The person is avoiding pain instead of pursuing pleasure.

The problem with that is that you won’t know what the motivation is for someone’s alliance with you until it’s tested… As long as everything’s going well, you might feel that the other person’s in your corner… you’re on the same page… moving in the same direction. As soon as there’s an issue, scripts may become flipped and “true colors” may become apparent. Of course, there are lots of cases where the person’s motivations are respectable, and situations can either be worked out, or both parties can agree to disagree and move on in whatever new direction this relationship is going. In other cases, there are certain ploys you can count on your friend/girlfriend/wife/whatever to resort to in order to try to get their way.

Withholding
Blackmail
Guilt Trips

These are all natural reactions and often played out ‘in the heat of the moment’, except that that very HEAT is where people lose control of themselves… I should say where they lose control of the front they were putting up because they feared losing their relationship to you or at the very least feared losing status in your eyes, even if the relationship continued. Once that front is removed, you get to see… if you’re looking closely enough and have your wits about you while things are getting ugly, who you’re really dealing with and what they’re really thinking about you. It may not even be personal. They may think the same way about everyone… It’s just that now YOU know that you’re not exempt. You’re not special to them. They were aligned with you because they were getting what they wanted from you, and now there’s been a split…… A split between what they want and what you have for them. This is the time to keep your eyes open and your mind prepared to perceive treachery occurring right under your nose in the place where you least expected it.

Withholding and Blackmail are similar. The difference is that Blackmail offers you a way out, if you’re willing to comply with her demands. Blackmail is like in the movies, where someone has hostages, and they say they want a helicopter and five million dollars in $20s. πŸ˜€ Withholding is just plain “you.can’t.get.XYZ”, where XYZ is whatever you used to be getting from her. If she was cooking for you, forget it. If she was sexing you, forget it. If she was picking you up from work, forget it. WHATEVER you were getting before, you can’t get it now, because she’s decided that what she wants is more important than her relationship to you.

If you’re paying attention when this change comes over her, you’ll realize that she’s only doing what she does for you and being the person you thought she naturally was BECAUSE you’re doing things that she wants done for her. As soon as you become not[the guy that does XYZ for her], all bets are off. You may as well be a stranger in the street as far as she’s concerned. She’s turned off to you so your ALLIANCE is currently out the window as well as all the benefits that came with her perception of you as the guy that always does things her way.

There are easy ways around Withholding. Act like she’s right. Buy her some flowers. Tell her you thought about it and you were wrong. Don’t tell her anything, just whatever you vetoed that she asked you for, make it happen. There are lots of other techniques that guys have been using since the cavemen….. The question is “do you really want to continue a relationship with someone like this?” You’re only rewarding bad behavior by caving in to her ‘demands’. You’re training her that as soon as she withholds from you, you’re going to give her what she wants, so you may as well not veto anything ever again. Just bear it… don’t even bother grinning.

Blackmail is just about the same thing, except she’ll tell you what you need to do in order to have your privileges restored. Let’s say that Withdrawl is the passive version, and Blackmail is the active version. You get to hear about what’s going to happen if you don’t comply. πŸ˜€ Obviously, this is way more egregious than Withdrawl. Withdrawl leaves you the choice of placating her or not. Blackmail informs you that there are going to be “consequences & repercussions” [Eddie Murphy, “Life”] in response to your actions/words/decisions that set this whole thing off. Consequences might be that the relationship is over between you or no sex or she’s going to get loud with you or throw your clothes out the window or go hook up with your friend that’s been trying to hook up with her behind your back. πŸ˜€

It’s clear if she’s trying to Blackmail you that she thinks she has some kind of power over you… and maybe she DOES! hahahaha… But if she doesn’t, the question remains… Is this the type of person that you want aligned with you? Do you want to be with someone that’s really out for her own best interests, and you can be down with her as long as you’re the goose that lays the golden eggs? πŸ˜€

Guilt Trips are simultaneously the funniest and most pathetic, gut-wrenching ploys, IMO. πŸ˜€ It’s really embarrassing when someone tries to pull cards or call in favors that weren’t favors at the time. What’s embarrassing about it is that this person that you’ve aligned yourself with has ZERO FAITH in your alliance with them. It’s gut-wrenching because they’re accusing you of being the type of WEASEL that they themselves actually are, coming at you with these primitive tactics! πŸ˜€ They actually believe your character is as lame as theirs is… which is pathetic, because it’s a reflection of your ability to judge someone’s character that this idiot right in front of you thinks they can change your mind by calling in markers. The conversation basically goes like this:

I want XYZ
You can’t get it
Give it to me
You can’t get it
You’d better give it to me
You can’t get it
Remember I did ABC for you blah blah blah blah blah

There are two problems here. #1 is that she thinks your character is so weak that you didn’t consider the situation at all before you announced your veto. She thinks that by reminding you of something she did for you, either in the past or just a minute before the disagreement started that you’re suddenly going to change your mind. Pathetic. :/ Problem #2 is that….. At the time that she did ABC for you, she WANTED TO DO IT, and you probably didn’t even ASK her to do it, and she ENJOYED doing it and it was a fond memory that you had of your relationship with her.

NOW, she’s reaching back and acting like she did it only to build equity with you for a “rainy day” like today. She’s poisoning memories that you have with her by dragging them into the present to try to use as bargaining chips against your weak character that can be easily bought off after you already considered the situation and delivered your decision. Well… Which one is it? Was she being manipulative THEN and doing things to keep you doing what you do for her? Or is she being manipulative NOW and trying to change history from an authentic alliance with you to a series of favors she’s done for you with the intent to cash in her chips when she felt it was necessary?

Either way, it sucks. :/ If your alliance with each other were authentic, manipulation would neither be necessary or even a thought. “The heat of the moment” should lead to an appeal for consideration based on history together and alliance, and both of those things should be well considered by you before decisions are made final.

I think love is better than fear. Fear is only useful as long as it remains constant. As soon as whatever it is that they fear diminishes or overwhelms them, all bets are off. As soon as they fear something more than the fear that caused them to align themselves with you or you’re no longer perceived as “the one” that is shielding them from whatever it is they fear, you’ll be dealing with a completely different person.

This is why it’s important to keep your wits about you as soon as something goes wrong in a relationship. Pay attention… Keep your eyes peeled for that double black cat… the glitch in the matrix that tells you something’s suddenly changed about this person and you can temporarily see deeper into their REAL way of being and what they really think of you than you usually can…….

re: Tricia Wang

re: Tricia Wang’s “Web 2.0 Vigilante”

Interesting points, Tricia.

First of all, I think the “fact” that Ryanne is white (she looks white, so I’ll assume she’s white) is less important here than you make it out to be. “Jim Crow” is about “you are black, so don’t interact with white chicks”. IMO, this situation would have gone the exact same way if the construction workers had all been white. I have no reason to assume that Ryanne would have let white guys slide, so there’s the immediate difference between “Jim Crow” and this situation.

I also have no reason to believe that she KNOWS anything about “black culture” in order to “ignore” it, as you called it. Ignoring it implies an understanding of the differences and then not applying that understanding to your judgement. Having said that, you’re absolutely right that there’s a different dynamic in minority neighborhoods where chicks are “holla’ed at” all day, every day, going to and from work, the store, the gym, wherever. I’m not saying this is a good thing. I agree with you that whatever was being said was probably in some form of social jest, whether positive or negative. As someone pointed out in the comments on the original post, we don’t get to hear what was actually said. We hear Ryanne’s account of what she heard, which was “woof woof” and “hey slim”. Depending on the context, those remarks could be an indication that they thought she was attractive or that they thought she was unattractive. Either way, she felt disrespected, and it’s clear on the tape that she’s affected and upset. I’m sure there are quite a few minority women that get game kicked to them all day, every day that are more sick of it than she is, and would like to do the same thing, if they thought it would do them any good.

The signal of future punishment was clear. Again, I think the construction guys being black isn’t as important as you make it out to be. If she had taped Italians in Bensonhurst, you wouldn’t have written this article at all.

As far as web 2.0 vigilantes, you bring up some good points. I hadn’t heard of gaettongnyeo before today. I think that’s a fine example of retribution getting out of hand. Did the girl deserve to be shamed? Of course. She let the dog “make a mess” on the subway, and then refused to clean it up as if it wasn’t her fault. According to reports, there were “elders” around, who told her to clean it up, and she STILL didn’t (major error #2). So they took her picture and she got embarrassed. That’s good for her. She won’t be pulling stunts like that in the future. πŸ™‚ However… There are at least two problems with the HollaBack technique… well… three, if you count the one you bring up at the end of your post.

Problem #1 is for the harasser, or in this case, the harassers. In the cases where guys do egregious stuff like they outline on the HollaBack sites, they’re getting what they deserve. I think there should definitely be some way that women can make themselves feel more safe or make habitual harassers known to others in the neighborhood so they can be aware. There are other situations where women didn’t like being called “baby” or being looked at from across he boulevard. I’m not sure that all the offenses warrant the same treatment/cagegorization. By posting these guys’ (I can say guys, because I didn’t see any pictures of lesbian harassers on those sites) faces to the net, they’re being seen as ‘guilty’ merely on the say-so of the poster. What happens now if someone’s boss’ wife goes on the site… or if their boss happens to be a woman and goes on the site herself and sees him and the description of whatever it is he’s supposed to have done? What if he gets fired because he tried to meet a chick he thought was attractive in the street, and thought he was kicking it to her in the expected fashion by calling her beautiful or asking if he can walk with her? What happens if this guy’s married and his wife sees what was posted about him and his relationship gets messed up? What happens in a group situation like in Ryanne’s video? What if one or more of the guys in the shot didn’t have jack to do with the harassment, but there they are on tape with everyone else? What happens if the boss sees this and decides to sanction everyone there, since there’s no telling who said what? You might be saying “So what? If extra stuff happens to them, that’s what they get for harassing!”… Well… “So what?” is Problem #2.

Problem #2 is for the woman taking the picture. What if the guy you take a picture of is on parole and wasn’t supposed to leave VA, but you take a picture of him in NYC? What if the guy doesn’t want his wife to see him on the net… or his boss to see him on the net? What if the guy just plain doesn’t like the fact that you took a picture of him and decides to do something about it?

Problem #3 is what Tricia states towards the end:

Sites like hollabacknyc.blogspot.com/ are passive in the documentation and function to empower the woman who posts a picture of her cat caller. The cat caller is never truly confronted for his behavior, therefore it’s not really effective in preventing harassment as there is no true confrontation.

This is true. The cat caller isn’t confronted at all. From the women’s own reports, most of the time there’s some yelling, or maybe someone gives someone the finger. Other than that, nothing happens. Sometimes, they say to the harasser that they’re going to put him on the net. Some of the pictures are from very far away or the back of some guy’s head or a picture of his car that’s parked somewhere… The sites are more for venting than anything else, and that’s very useful for women who don’t want to feel like they’re the only ones stuff like this happens to. The reason this is a problem is that the end may not justify the means if the taking of the picture makes a bad situation much worse than it originally was for the picture-taker. It certainly doesn’t justify the means if the camera’s confiscated by the harasser.

Anyway… Everybody knows women are going to be shouted at as they’re passing construction sites. It’s a pastime as much as having a beer or watching sports. That doesn’t mean Ryanne has to accept that for herself. The guys in the video, black, white, whatever, are not hanging out on crates in front of a closed storefront. They are working. This means they have a supervisor, and that supervisor has a supervisor and that supervisor has a supervisor. Somewhere along the line, there’s someone with the ability to impose sanctions on those guys for “misrepresenting” the construction company… even if the owner is the most sexist guy out of all of them. πŸ™‚ I think the workers have more of a responsibility to know that they could get in trouble for yelling either compliments or insults at a woman walking by the site more than Ryanne has a responsibility to understand minorities’ different style of being friendly or socializing.