Social Media has advanced to the point where it’s not only the ACTUALLY famous that you have to look out for. There are people that are said to have micro-fame or are called “internet famous”. There are different levels of micro-fame, but the way SM works, the level doesn’t really make a difference. ALLLLLL you need is for one person to take a picture of you and place it on a site or in a feed that other people pay attention to, and you could end up in social bookmarks, reblogged, captioned… what-have-you.

In this case, the best defense is a good offense. You’re way better off controlling your own media from the giddyap than trying to chase it down after the fact. As an example (which has nothing to do with dating), I went to a party one time and out of the tons of pics I took with people, I took one with this chick I had never met before. There were lots of people taking pictures at the same party. After I posted mine, I got a sob-story email from her with some bullshit about how she didn’t want this guy she knew to know that she had been out partying. :/ She asked me to take it down and I did… *NOT* because I believed a word she said, but because all of my pics are with people that *WANT* to be in them with me. I didn’t need her up in the mix with that kind of attitude.

The obvious question is… “Why are you so stupid that you a) went partying when you weren’t “supposed to” and were risking getting caught? b) went to a party where probably one out of every four people there had a camera and was taking pictures? and c) didn’t say to people that were taking pictures that you needed not to be seen on the internet?” Actually, (c)’s irrelevant, because if you KNOW you’re not supposed to be out partying and you see cameras…… LEAVE!

So anyway, like I said, that particular situation had nothing to do with dating, but it’s clear to me that there are a lot of people that don’t realize the times we’re living in and that your ass might be tagged on Facebook before you wake up from the alcohol you drank last night. So for those people that don’t understand what time it is in the year 2008, here’s what you need to know in order to date the “Internet Famous”…..

1) Don’t do it

If you really enjoy your privacy, don’t date anyone “internet famous” AT ALL. Look for a like-minded person who’s TRYING to stay out of the limelight like you are. If you just CAN’T get over it and you’re sweating this micro-famous person so much that you just HAVE to try it, read on…

2) Don’t go ANYWHERE with them in public

Especially in a place like NYC, where we all use public transportation and/or walk, DO *NOT* go ANYWHERE out-of-doors with your internet-famous crush. There’s no telling who reads that person’s blog or knows what they look like and will be the first one to report the where, when and with-whom of sighting a micro-celebrity. The odds of noseyness increase exponentially if said micro-celeb has declared some form of relationship to someone via Social Media Status Updates. This leads to a wildfire spreading of your business, as people try to confirm with myriad other friends of theirs: “Isn’t whomever dating so-and-so?”.

3) Meet them everywhere

If you STILL insist on going out in public with this person, MEET them places. Don’t arrive at the places WITH them. People are easily psyched out by asynchronous arrivals and departures. Make sure you’re there before they are and you leave before they do, or vice versa. Make sure it’s a good 30 minutes before the second person makes moves from the location. You can always meet up at the cribbo later on.

4) Hide in plain sight

It’s very funny how people attempt to play it off that they’re messing with other people and then they act so completely different towards that one person when they’re together in public. You may as well have a neon sign that says “We’re Dating”, with flashing lights and pointing arrows… Or maybe those T-Shirts that say “I’m with Stupid =>” “<= Stupid's with Me".

Instead, if you're supposedly single, Act As If. Hide in plain sight. The micro-celeb will need to understand and support your position. You're doing THEM a favor by dating them in the first place, so they need to hook you up with certain concessions that minimize the risk of people finding out that you're messing with them.

5) NEVER post relationship status updates

All you need to look like an idiot is for your status to go from “single” to “it’s complicated” to “in a relationship” and back to “single” every week. If that’s what’s really going on in your life, Keep. It. To. Yourself. Save all that status stuff for when it’s ACTUALLY real, not when you THINK it’s real. If you just HAVE TO post SOMETHING, keep some physical stickies next to your computer so that when you get that urge, you can physically write on it that you’re dating someone and stick it on your wall so you can look at it and admire it for a few days until you need to crumple it up and throw it in the trash.

6) Control yourself

Once in a blue, as I’m walking down the street and a guy’s walking towards me with his girl, when he detects me, he tightens up his grip on his girl… holds her hand tighter… puts his arm around her… something. It’s really funny. That’s a subconscious defensive reaction. In his mind, he feels the need to indicate more than he was already that he’s “with” this chick. It’s typical male territorial pissings, but the point is that he’s giving away the fact that he’s nervous about losing his rap to this chick. If his game were TIGHT, he could leave her alone with any number of dudes and not be worried that she’s gonna give it up.

Similarly, you need to play it cool and control yourself when you’re out in public with this internet-famous person you’re supposedly not dating. Fellaz… Do *NOT* eyeball people like “Why are they hugging MY girl? ” if you’re supposed to be dating her on the sneaks. Ladies… Do *NOT* find reasons to interrupt every single conversation your boyfriend’s having with other chicks unless you want to make yourself a prime suspect.

7) iChat is your friend……… sort of. :/

AIM/iChat, Skype, ooVoo, what-have-you are all brilliant alternatives to risking going out in public to communicate with your internet-famous crush. They all have video and audio capabilities on top of being able to text chat. Use these services to have fellowship, get your laugh on, figure out plans and timetables for the evening (see tip #3), veto clothing decisions, etc… Just keep it clean so Chris Hanson doesn’t invite you to sit down for a glass of lemonade.

The downside of iChat is… If YOUR video/audio icon stays ghosted for hours and so does your crush’s… you’re busted.

8) Make up a fake significant other

This actually works like a charm. People are basically simple-minded when it comes to relationships, so as long as they *know* you have a significant other floating around somewhere, they’ll blind themselves to the fact that you might be dating your internet-famous crush. Make sure this fictitious character lives far enough away from here never to show up at ANY scene events, evAr…. but close enough that you can hop on Metro North, LIRR or Amtrak for a couple of hours and visit them for the weekend. Make them affluent enough to live wherever they live, but NOT affluent enough to train it to NYC and party… evAr.

If the heat is on and the jig is about to be UP… Your FSO will suddenly get a promotion… causing them to move to Japan, and since you can’t/won’t learn Japanese, you’ve decided it’s in your best interest to let the relationship go.

Grieve for 1/3 of the time you were dating your FSO, make up a new one, rinse, repeat.

9) Enlist the help of others

You may not be able to carry off these tactics on your own. If this is the case, getting trustworthy people down with the program will help you immensely. If they are hanging out with you and the internet-famous person…. they will say they were only hanging out with you. If they were only hanging out with you… they will say they were hanging out with you and your FSO. They’ll make up stories and propagate them throughout their Social Media sphere of influence to corroborate whatever position you’ve decided to take. They will text you ahead of time not to show up together if there are unexpected Social Media people where you planned to hang out for the evening. Actually… Some people get paid to do this. They’re called Personal Assistants.

10) Don’t tell your internet-famous crush JACK!

Nothing… Nuth-Thang… NOTHING! This person has problems keeping THEIR OWN BUSINESS “out the street”, so you KNOW they’re gonna blab YOUR business all over creation! Save it. Don’t tell internet famous people you’re dating JACK that you wouldn’t post on your own blog. Don’t tell them anything you wouldn’t tell your Grandmother. Don’t tell them anything that you wouldn’t tell your next SO after you break up with them. Nuth-THANG!!!

So there’s your guide to dating the “internet famous”. This is 2008. People in Australia can find out what you did last night in NYC before you’ll be able to find the same media yourself and attempt to get yourself untagged. Your best bet is to take evasive action and enable preventative measures similar to those that I’ve outlined. Overall, your best bet is not to date ANYONE living this Social Media lifestyle if you’re not interested in being a part of it yourself.

Welcome to the show!

DatingGenius

…

EDIT: Bonus Tip!

I wasn’t thinking about this, but an excellent tip was passed to me just now, and I wanted to add it….

11) Get a hobby

Normally, being “internet famous” goes hand-in-hand with a lot of interesting things going on in that person’s life. Make sure that YOU have something that YOU’RE doing that can be a focal point for conversation as well. This is one of the reasons why actors date actresses and celebrities and entertainers tend to date each other as well. Each of them have interesting things to talk about from their side of the table. You don’t have to be doing “big thangs”… Just make sure you have SOMETHING going on so that you don’t always have to talk about your SO’s internet fame every time you get together.

As the contributor of this tip said:

Internet famous people get bored dating a “fan”.

DatingGenius
 
 

Michelle & Bill, originally uploaded by Bill Cammack.

Michelle DeForest & Bill Cammack

Walt, Leora, Tony & Chrissie, originally uploaded by Bill Cammack.

Walt Ribeiro, Leora Israel, Tony Bacigalupo & Chrissie Brodigan

MLB All Star Game Party, originally uploaded by Bill Cammack.

Webster Hall Digital / Sharp Aquos
MLB All Star Game Party

Walt & Bill, originally uploaded by Bill Cammack.

Walt Ribeiro & Bill Cammack

Steve, originally uploaded by Bill Cammack.

Steve Nelson

Bill & Chrissie, originally uploaded by Bill Cammack.

Bill Cammack & Chrissie Brodigan

Nate & Michelle, originally uploaded by Bill Cammack.

Nate Westheimer & Michelle DeForest

Angela & Bill, originally uploaded by Bill Cammack.

Angela Freeburg & Bill Cammack

MLB All Star Game Party, originally uploaded by Bill Cammack.

Webster Hall Digital MLB All Star Party

Leora & Bill, originally uploaded by Bill Cammack.

Leora Israel & Bill Cammack

Ben & Bill, originally uploaded by Bill Cammack.

Ben Homer & Bill Cammack

Actually, this is four days spanning a weekend, so, technically, two BUSINESS days. I applied for reconsideration on Friday, and billcammack.com appears in Google’s search results as of Tuesday morning. Rather commendable, IMO. I don’t know the way any of this works, but this may be the first spider crawl of my site since I sent in the request, informing them that I had removed the text that got my site removed in the first place. That’s exactly how I think it should be done. Not some kind of immediate reinstatement process, just “Please check again on your next crawl. I’ve fixed the problem. Thanks”.

Before I went to sleep last night, I had noticed I started getting hits from Google, but my site itself wasn’t available. Hopping out of bed just now, I noticed lots more Google hits and checked “Bill Cammack” and “Bill”, and I was back in position.

As far as I can tell, the “Google Search Quality” system worked fairly and swiftly in this situation, and I really couldn’t ask for more.

Having said that, living without my > 1,000 pages being searchable on Google for ~ 4 days, when being indexed in Google has been “a part of my life” every day for the last two years has prompted me to consider some new things when it comes to “site promotion” and “viewer/reader awareness”.

The first thing I’m going to do is start a mailing list. My Cousin Richard has wanted to start up a RealFans.TV mailing list for the longest, but I felt that we were doing enough with our community site and our Facebook Group. During this “Google search blackout” for my site, I supplemented my usual traffic by informing people directly via social media outlets when I posted something new. I figured that instead of sending random updates to places, I’d do like Chris Brogan and Jason Calacanis and create my own email list. This way, searchable or not, I have a way to quickly inform people who are interested about what’s new with the site, what’s “old” that I’d like to bring back to people’s attention or what’s coming up in the future.

I also need to build a static section to my site which is representative of more than my video editing work. While it was good to have my resume and my Flickr set still available, it really was a vastly incomplete representation of my internet presence.

Anyway… I’m satisfied (not that that’s important ) with my Google disappearance/reappearance experience. I think the process worked fairly and efficiently, and I’m REALLY GLAD it didn’t take WEEKS, as they mentioned in their correspondence. Not because I NEED to be indexed in Google, but because I’m used to it, and it was a strange feeling for the last couple of days, posting stuff that I knew wasn’t going to be indexed.

Well… On With The Show!

back story: 1) “What if YOU get removed from Google?”
back story: 2) “Whose Fault Is This?”

So you don’t have to go back and read my post… A WordPress vulnerability was exploited on this blog and someone added text to my footer which caused Google to take my offending pages down and send me an email saying they might remain gone from google search results for 30 days or more. Here’s what I got in the comments:

Mark: “Given that this WordPress vulnerability has been known for months, it’s your fault for not watching out for it and taking precautions. Every serious business owner backs up his site daily and watches the WP dashboard for news. You can’t hang this one on Google; this one falls squarely on your head. Google doesn’t want to index infected sites. Sounds like a reasonable rule to me.”

What “Mark” is saying makes perfect sense, and is probably 100% correct. Here are my thoughts:

Mark: “Given that this WordPress vulnerability has been known for months, it’s your fault for not watching out for it and taking precautions.”

Now… I had some VERY interesting conversations based around this comment. Not with “Mark” but with people I actually know. The comments were centered around “fault”. The commenters also seemed to feel like I was upset with my 1,048 pages being removed from Google’s search results. This is one of the things that happens when you communicate via text. Inflection is lost and the context given by vocal tones and facial expressions is completely lost on the reader.

First of all, like I said in the first post, I don’t need to be listed in Google for business, and I don’t need to be listed in Google for socialization. I am a REAL PERSON with REAL FRIENDS and I do work for REAL BUSINESSES. I get work via word of mouth. I don’t approach people for work. People approach ME to see if I’m available / interested in working on their projects. The only thing I’m missing by not being listed in Google search results is the random hits I get from people surfing the web looking for generic topics such as “Dating Women in NYC” and “How To Break Up With A Girl” and “Male Birth Control Pills” etc etc etc. Who cares? As a matter of fact, I’ve already compensated for the hits I’ve lost, but that’s a topic for another day’s UnGoogled blog entry since I felt like talking about “Mark”s comments today.

Mark: “Every serious business owner backs up his site daily and watches the WP dashboard for news.”

Obviously, this is a ridiculous statement. All you have to do is put the word “Not” in front of that sentence, since obviously only one instance negates that entire statement. So… “NOT Every serious business owner backs up his/her site daily and watches the WP dashboard for news”. Ahhhh… That’s better. Another good statement would be “Every serious business owner SHOULD back up his/her site daily and watch the WP dashboard for news”. Even THAT makes more sense.

The other comments I received that weren’t posted on the blog were along the same lines… You should have known. You should have been keeping up with the update notifications. You get what you pay for (Since WordPress is free). You wouldn’t drive a car without knowing how to fix it (which is bullshit).

I found two things interesting about these comments. The first one was that I was consulting *GEEKS* for this discussion. I was talking with people who live and breathe web design. Oh, I just remembered another one! “Wordpress has to constantly be updated… If you want to avoid that, use Moveable Type”. See what I mean? The people I was talking to had extremely extensive knowledge about blogs compared to mine. That’s like someone asking me about editing and my acting like they know as much about it as I do and then saying it was their fault for not knowing what I know, even though they don’t do what I do.

So, is the situation “my fault”? Sure. I’m the one that didn’t upgrade to the newest WordPress. But you know what? That makes me just like ANYBODY.ELSE. that hasn’t upgraded to the latest WordPress yet. And THAT means that ANYBODY.ELSE. in that same situation that reads what happened to my blog can get something out of it and potentially prevent the same thing from happening to them. Good.

The other interesting thing about the expectations of people “staying on top of” the current state of their blogs (whatever platform they’re on) is that the internet’s all about opportunity. It may even be about the lowest common denominator. People are SUPPOSED to be able to make web sites without being WEB DESIGN GEEKS. People are NOT supposed to drive cars unless they have a particular level of proficiency. One of the main ideas of the internet is freedom of expression and the opportunity to do things you normally wouldn’t get to do. Most people that have shows on the internet wouldn’t have made it through auditions for television shows. Should they be disallowed from acting or being videographers or musicians or editors because someone decided that they weren’t talented enough or good looking enough to be a part of the production? Nope. Similarly, there’s no REQUIREMENT for people to know all of the ins and outs of web design before they’re “allowed” to make sites for recreation, fun, entertainment OR business.

Mark: “You can’t hang this one on Google; this one falls squarely on your head.”

I don’t believe anything was “hung” on Google. Hanging it on Google would be saying “I didn’t do anything at all, and my pages disappeared from Google, and I wasn’t informed of whom I could talk to to clear this situation up”. I didn’t say that. This situation DOES bring up the point, however, that perhaps Lowest Common Denominator isn’t good enough. Maybe people who don’t care enough to bother with vigilantly defending the security of their web sites should hire people who love to do that kind of thing to do that work for them. Maybe that’s an industry for someone. Community Website Overwatch.

The “You Get What You Pay For” point was a good one. It’s easy to forget that you’re using free software, when software’s SUPPOSED to be free. Blogger’s free. Browsers are free… Safari, Firefox, Flock… You can get FTP programs for free. There are sites like freevlog.org that SPECIFICALLY make a point of teaching people how to set up videoblogs for free. I’m sure there are services where you can pay people to handle all of this site creation, maintenance and security for you if you feel like it. So, I suppose, if you don’t want the blame to “fall squarely on your head”, hire someone else for the blame to fall on or to be vigilant about prevention.

Mark: “Google doesn’t want to index infected sites. Sounds like a reasonable rule to me.”

Yup. Sounds reasonable to me as well. We’ll see if they’re as quick to reinstate it as they were to take it down. According to their correspondence, it could be weeks. In the meantime, I’ve been compensating for my 56.04% of missing traffic, thanks to being UnGoogled. I’ve also been contemplating my new Google Anonymity. I only met one new person last weekend, and by the time I was introduced, they had already been told about the Google situation by our mutual acquaintance. Still, it was an odd feeling, for the first time since 2006, not wondering if some random person I might run into had stumbled onto one of my posts via Google. It’s relatively liberating, actually, hehe I’m starting to get used to it.

Too Much Hawt!!!, originally uploaded by Bill Cammack.

Chrissie Brodigan, Bill Cammack, Leora Israel & Florence Holdeman

TechDrinks, originally uploaded by Bill Cammack.

TechDrinks

Jay Smooth of illdoctrine.com breaks down the difference between the “what they DID” conversation and the “what they ARE” conversation.

Alana, Bill….. Pravin, Jill & Jon, originally uploaded by Bill Cammack.

Alana Taylor, Bill Cammack, Pravin Chandiramani, Jill Hanner & Jonathan Dingman

TechDrinks, originally uploaded by Bill Cammack.

TechDrinks & Revision3 Meetup

Bill, Jill, Florence & CO-STARS!, originally uploaded by Bill Cammack.

Bill Cammack, Jill Hanner, Florence Holdeman & Co-Stars :/

Kevin & Walt, originally uploaded by Bill Cammack.

Kevin Gamble & Walt Ribeiro

Chrissie & Jeremy, originally uploaded by Bill Cammack.

Chrissie Brodigan & Jeremy Johnson

Whitney, Walt & Alana, originally uploaded by Bill Cammack.

Whitney Hess, Walt Ribeiro & Alana Taylor

Jill & Bill, originally uploaded by Bill Cammack.

Jill Hanner & Bill Cammack

Florence & Pravin, originally uploaded by Bill Cammack.

Florence Holdeman & Pravin Chandiramani

Walt & Bill, originally uploaded by Bill Cammack.

Walt Ribeiro & Bill Cammack

Chrissie & Leora, originally uploaded by Bill Cammack.

Chrissie Brodigan & Leora Israel

Whitney & Bill, originally uploaded by Bill Cammack.

Whitney Hess & Bill Cammack

Jon, Bill, Chrissie & Brett, originally uploaded by Bill Cammack.

Jonathan Dingman, Bill Cammack, Chrissie Brodigan & Brett Petersel

Florence & Jill, originally uploaded by Bill Cammack.

Florence Holdeman & Jill Hanner