How to *NOT* be a creep

The way the dating game works, guys have to be the aggressors and girls choose from the suitors who present themselves. There are several reasons for this, including women attempting to avoid the stigma of being considered hoes for stepping up front and telling a guy what they really want to do with him. Another reason is that gals tend to be more relationship-based, while guys are more get-laid-based.

What this creates is an uneven playing field where guys are always playing offense and girls are always playing defense. I had a rare opportunity, recently, to watch a creep operate… Let me back up a bit…

What/Who is a Creep?

Creep?A creep isn’t defined by tactics. A creep is defined by whether a chick wants to kick it to him or not. If a girl likes you, you can say just about anything you want to her, and she’ll go for it. She wants you to want her. She’s excited that she excites you. You can literally walk up to a chick and say “The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain” and she’ll make out with you, because that’s what she’s been daydreaming about this whole time since she first saw you…. kissing you, not you saying some corny, meaningless line.

So, a creep is a guy that a chick DOESN’T want to talk to her, but insists on talking to her anyway. He could be the most polite, well read, gentlemanly blah blah blah but if she’s not interested, he’s a nuisance that she needs to get rid of ASAP. Not only is he annoying, but he’s taking up space where a guy that she REALLY wants to meet could be standing and she could be enjoying herself.

So I had been about to say “I recently got to see a creep operate”, but that’s not actually true. I’ve seen creeps operate lots of times, except they’ve been friends of mine, so I’ve been hoping that they get on. Sometimes, the creep was ME! 😀 What I should have said was that I had the rare opportunity to watch some creep I don’t know operate, and because of that, I can now write up my favorite tips on how to *NOT* be a creep: Continue reading “How to *NOT* be a creep”

Date Night

Here’s a tip for the married guys and guys with relationships, girlfriends, what have you…
You really should have a pretty regular Date Night scheduled with your woman.


Bill Cammack – “Date Night”

Available Formats: Audio (.mp3)

Sponsor: Bill Cammack

At Least ACT Like You Give A Damn

Sean Bohan‘s article, “The 50/50 Rule, Link Love & Reciprocity” starts out like this:

Sean: “The 50/50 Rule is something I started sharing with clients a while back. It’s nothing new or earth-shattering and TONS of individuals and companies are doing it EVERY SINGLE DAY. The idea is simple – to connect in the Social spaces where the users live, you need to spend half as much of your time talking about the users as you do about your brand/product/service/website/effort/whatever.”

This is an intelligent idea. At least ACT like you give a damn. People aren’t being taught this. All they’re being told is that there are new and wonderful technologies available on the internet that they can utilize to make money, and here they come, a-runnin’. I currently have 1,567 followers on Twitter. I’d say I get five (5) new followers every single day. Somebody told these people to put auto-responders on their Twitter accounts. Continue reading “At Least ACT Like You Give A Damn”

Maury Show Tips: 02 – Surviving The Lie Detector Test

We’ve already established in “Maury Show Tips: 01 – You Are An Idiot” that if The Maury Show calls you AT ALL, then either YOU are an idiot, your girlfriend is an idiot or BOTH OF YOU are idiots. That means there’s a 66% chance that you are an idiot, which is higher than 50%, so let’s just assume that it’s YOU. Here’s the proof:

You + Her = Result
================
Smart + Smart = Rejected. Never seen on the show [25%]
Smart + Idiot = She did something that will embarrass you = Guest [25%]
Idiot + Smart = You did something that will embarrass her = Guest [25%]
Idiot + Idiot = Ratings Galore = GUEST!!! (multiple episodes) [25%]

Now, because you’ve been invited as a guest, we can throw out Smart+Smart, which leaves us with two slots where you are an idiot and one slot where you are not = 66% chance that the idiot is YOU.

If your girl happens NOT to be an idiot (which, BTW… you wouldn’t be smart enough to figure out), then we can rule out the Paternity Test series. The only trick The Maury Show has left up its sleeve is The Lie Detector Test.

Like I mentioned previously, even the secretary who buzzed you in the security door to the studio is more educated than you are. PLEASE do yourself a favor and FORGET ABOUT TRICKING AN-NY-BOD-DEE until you get back out in the street, like FAR AWAY from the studio and make sure you turn a couple of corners so their outside cameras can’t see you either.

Of course, the entire point of this series is that you’re not going to take my advice and stay off the show, so here’s how to carry yourself when you’re a guest on the Lie Detector Test episodes: Continue reading “Maury Show Tips: 02 – Surviving The Lie Detector Test”

Pecking Order / Play Your Position

Guys don’t like to follow the rules when they try to meet girls in a group. There’s a pecking order which has been automatically determined by the individual characteristics of each of the guys YOU chose to hang out with on this particular run. Whether you know it or not, what’s going to happen for you this evening is not just LUCK, but it’s also a function of the ‘team’ you’ve assembled. TEAM is in quotes, because it’s usually actually a motley crew, and there’s really no TEAMWORK involved in the entire evening. My suggestion is that you a) Figure out your standing amongst your homeboys, b) Play Your Position and c) Act Like You Know! 😀

Wikipedia has this to say about Dominance Hierarchies:

A dominance hierarchy or social hierarchy is an organizational form by which individuals within a community control the distribution of resources within the community. Dominance hierarchies are formed when a group of individuals belonging to the same species share a territory.

Dominance hierarchies can be despotic or linear. In a despotic hierarchy, one individual controls all the other individuals. In a linear hierarchy, of which the classic example of pecking order in hens is often cited, each individual has a rank in the hierarchy.

Dominance hierarchies occur in most social animal species, including primates who normally live in groups. Dominance hierarchies have been extensively studied in fish, birds, and mammals. Dominance hierarchies can be simple linear structures, which often arise from the physical differences among individuals in a group in relation to their access to resources. They are also influenced by the complex social interactions among individuals in the group.

Like I said, the dominance hierarchy is set up automatically. It’s merely the difference between who YOU are, and who the guy next to you is. You don’t have to agree to it or even LIKE it. It’s a fact. Forget about the guys you don’t even know that are going to be there… Depending on whom you hang out with, you might be bringing your worst competition WITH YOU to the party. 😀 This is why the intelligent group knows who the top dogs are and acts accordingly.

While this article’s mainly for the fellaz, it applies to the chicks also. If you *INSIST* on hanging out with girls magnitudes more physically attractive than you are, do NOT expect to be the first chick rapped to when you meet a bunch of guys… EVAR! 😀 Life isn’t fair. It’s not HER TURN this week and YOUR TURN next week, hahaha it’s ALWAYS *HER* turn. Recognize… and Act Like You Know. 🙂

Your social life will be much better when you realize and accept your position in the crew. You can stop banging your head against brick walls and ease back and enjoy the perks of NOT being the team leader. Your role is support. You’re there to assist the team leader in MAKING IT HAPPEN! What you are *NOT* there to do is battle with the top dog(s) for girls you will never pull over them in the first place.

The way we live in the USA, and especially in New York City, everybody wants the best of everything. This leads to massive amounts of competition. Kickin’ it to chicks is no exception. Every gal you meet has a specific set of likes and dislikes she’s consciously or subconsciously operating from. Off the bat, you’re at an advantage or disadvantage compared to the next man. Does that mean you CAN’T get the rap if you start out on the losing end? Hellz Naw! 😀 You’ll be in a much better position to operate if you recognize the game and play it where it lays.

You lose if:

  • She likes taller guys and you’re shorter
  • She likes athletic guys and you’re out of shape
  • She likes rich guys and you’re broke
  • She likes original guys and you’re derivative
  • She likes smart guys and you’re an idiot
  • She likes funny guys and your jokes are dry as hell
  • He’s driving a Caddy, you’re fixin’ a Ford

You get the picture. Now if the guy trumping you isn’t a friend of yours, you’re in for a loooooong night if you still insist on trying to pull that female. If he IS your friend, then all you need is some strategy. Unfortunately for you, not being the top dog, that “strategy” might mean you don’t get the rap to that chick AT.ALL! haha However, for playing your position and facilitating the rap of the team leader, you will receive perks… trickle-down… the extra chicks that flock to the team leader, but can’t kick it to him because their girl is trying to get on! 😀

Sometimes, trickle-down is the BEST THING EVER!!! Sometimes, the hottest chicks aren’t there yet when you and your crew arrive. As soon as the team leaders choose ladies to rap to, they’re locked in. When that better-looking homegirl shows up, the leaders have to “eat that” and introduce them to the guys that have been holding off the cockblockers for them. hahahahaha CHA-CHING!!! $$$$$ 😀

If you refuse to play your position and take what you can get, you make things tougher for ALL of your friends to get on. Sure, healthy competition’s good when you first walk in the door, but when you see she’s digging your friend, step to the left and let him get some light. When you see that extra chick eyeballing his conversation, take one for the team and go over there and distract her. Meanwhile, the team leader will see if the gal he’s talking to has a hawt sister or cousin available for you.

The Kid learned this lesson the hard way one day, hahaha. About five of us had descended upon these chicks in a McDonald’s, and I was probably 4th on the totem pole, meaning second from the LAST GUY that should have gotten a rap from those chicks, hahaha. IIRC, the top three guys rolled up on the same girl, or maybe two girls and I had a clear shot to this other one, so I sat down and started saying whatever garbage was in my repertoire at the time.

All of a sudden, from over my left shoulder, MY WORST NIGHTMARE APPEARS, the #1!… Boom! He sits down and starts talking to this chick that I was OOOOOBVIOUSLY talking to solo and her attention disappeared from me, immediately! It was like somebody activated “The Cones of Silence” or like I had disappeared or something. I couldn’t BELIEVE it. I was sooooo mad! 😀

However, upon tactical discussion after the fact, it became clear to me that a) I hadn’t physically imposed myself upon her position enough for it to look like I was doing anything other than distracting her from the main rap, as the wingman’s *supposed* to do, and b) Just because I got there first didn’t mean she wanted to talk to ME more than the team leader, so the fact that she was so easily distracted meant that I should have just played my position and given him room to operate.

OTOH, sometimes, it’s just The Kid’s day, and there’s nothing anybody can do to stop the bum rush! 😀 If it’s ON, it’s ON… Which is why I can write stuff like this all year ’round, and I’ll STILL have more female friends than most of y’all have family members! 😀

Michelle, Marissa, Bill & Lindsey

Anyway… It’s a tough pill to swallow, but trust & believe, it’s in your best interest. Assess your situation, go for what you want, but make sure you have contingency plans. You might have your heart SET on “chick A”, but if she’s feelin’ your homeboy, stop catchin’ feelin’s, facilitate his rap, back his play, associate with the next chick…

Who knows? Looks aren’t everything. You might be getting the better deal! 😀

DatingGenius