“Jersey Shore” was complete garbage this week.

As I predicted, when I found out that MTV was sending a bunch of non-Itaian-speaking people to Italy for no reason other than their chosen social subculture has been stereotypically attributed to Italian-AMERICANS (having nothing at all to do with Italians in Italy), they can’t socialize with anyone but themselves, so the shows are entirely about the boring, redundant interactions between the housemates.

Storyline

The entire episode was about the girls hanging out together.. “The Girls” being Jenni, Sammi, Deena, Nicole, and Ronnie.

The guys (Vinny, Pauly, and Mike) were complete non-factors this week. Mike got one kiss from one chick in a club, and seemed to be getting her number, but MTV elected not to tell us anything that happened with that storyline, which is probably nothing, because dude doesn’t have any skillz.

THE. ENTIRE. REST. OF. THE. SHOW. was about Deena The Ominsexual getting drunk (as usual), falling down (as usual), and making out incessantly with Nicole, who’s another omnisexual horn-dog who’s been throwing sex at anybody and anything ever since the first episode of the first season when she climbed in the hot tub with all four of her male housemates that she had just met and kissed all of them.

I couldn’t find that particular clip on YouTube, but this one will do:

YouTube Link => http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kzmrYnYbqM0

This is a clip from Season 01, where Mike & Nicole are messing around in the hot tub. She mentions towards the end of the clip “I did the same thing that I did the first night! :D”, which alludes to the situation I mentioned above.

Double Standards

The value of this week’s Jersey Shore was that the entire country got to see behavior that I see all the time in the trenches. There’s a lot of drinking, a lot of lying, and a lot of revisionist history that takes place on a weekly basis, if not a daily basis, depending on how often you interact with people on the dating scene.

Historical Revisionism is either the legitimate scholastic re-examination of existing knowledge about a historical event, or the illegitimate distortion of the historical record such that certain events appear in a more or less favourable light.

Revisionist History generally works in opposite directions with males and females, because of the double-standard.

If you’re not familiar with the American (and potentially worldwide) double-standard, it’s basically that women that have sex can be branded whores, sluts or hoes for doing the exact same sexual acts that make guys “THE MAN” and get us accolades and free beers from our fans and peers.

So.. If a guy and gal hook up, what’s likely to happen if they both have to give a report the next day, the guy’s going to say that MORE SEX occurred than actually did, and the gal is going to say that LESS SEX occurred than actually did.

This is typical, so you adjust accordingly… Whatever a guy says he did to a chick, you tone it down a notch or two, and whatever a gal says she did with a guy, you amp it up a notch or two.

Basically, if she says nothing happened, that means she kissed him. If she says she kissed him, that means he felt her up. If she says he felt her up, she actually blew him… you get the picture.

This is what we got a beautiful portrait of, thanks to Nicole & Deena getting drunk together and hooking up for approximately 26% of the entire show.

I mean… the portrait itself was RAUNCHY, but I’m saying that it was a beautiful illustration of a raunchy situation. :D

Omnisexuals

If you’ve been reading along, you know that The Kid doesn’t pay attention to labels, because they don’t mean anything.

For instance.. If a chick says she has a boyfriend, that doesn’t mean she’s not going to hook up with you tonight. It’s completely meaningless what she says or how she attempts to classify herself, because she’s a grown-ass woman with free will, who’s going to do whatever she feels like doing whenever she feels like doing it, so if she feels like giving you some today and going home to her boyfriend tonight, that’s what’s going to happen.

Unfortunately.. Most drones.. I mean, people, think that there are several concrete classifications, and EVEN WORSE, think that they can TELL YOU what group they belong to and that that means something to you or even to themselves.

We saw this a couple of episodes ago, when Deena was blatantly cockblocking Mike and Vinny by grabbing the “Virgin Twin”, making out with her at the club and bringing her home to hop in bed with her.

Deena keeps protesting: “I’m not a lesbian!”

ok… Fine… You’re “not a lesbian” who likes to dance with girls, make out with girls, and hook up with girls under the covers in your bed while Vinny’s right there to hear the whole thing and report to Ronnie in the morning that you were moaning all night before you ejected Virgin Twin to polish Vinny off before he went to sleep that night.

So.. How does that help you to declare yourself “not a lesbian”? o_O

It doesn’t.

You walk like a duck, talk like a duck, make out and **** like a duck, but you think that by telling people “I’m not a duck”, it means something.

It doesn’t mean anything at all.

This is the problem with labels. Nobody cares which team you claim you’re playing for. What matters is what you’re likely to do in a given situation.. Especially in an often-repeated situation like your being fall-down drunk and feeling like having sex with somebody… with ANYBODY that you find attractive at that point in time.

Deena is correct that she’s not a lesbian. She’s an omnisexual.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pansexuality

Pansexuality (also referred to as omnisexuality or polysexuality)[1] refers to the potential for sexual attractions, sexual desire, romantic love, or emotional attraction, towards people of all gender identities and biological sexes.[2][3] Self-identified pansexuals may refer to themselves as gender-blind—that gender and sex are insignificant or irrelevant in determining whether they will be sexually attracted to others.[4] The Oxford English Dictionary writes that pansexuality “encompasses all kinds of sexuality; not limited or inhibited in sexual choice with regards to gender or activity.”[5]

The concept of pansexuality deliberately rejects the gender binary, the idea that there are only two genders,[6] as pansexual people are open to relationships with people who do not identify as strictly men or women. Pansexuality can also mean the attraction to a person’s personality, rather than their physical appearance or gender.[7]

There’s nothing wrong with this. It’s what makes Deena the wildcard and the interesting character in the house. You never know if she’s going to hook up with a dude or a chick, but you know that as soon as she gets drunk enough to start falling down for no reason, she’s going to try to tongue SOMEONE down, which is probably why Pauly was looking so skeeved out when she wanted to kiss him at the end of the first Italy episode:

YouTube Link => http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4MYJ3pYFXw

So, ladies… If you start making out with chicks every time you get drunk, don’t bother trying to explain that away as not being a core aspect of your personality. Nobody cares what you call yourself or how you try to classify yourself. The only thing people are paying attention to is what you’re liable to do when you’re feeling horny and there’s a chick or dude around that you feel like hooking up with.

Labels are over. Do what you do. Get in where you fit in. Enjoy your life, as-is.

Just don’t bother protesting when your friends and roommates tell you what you did last night right in front of their faces as if you didn’t actually do that, AND it’s not an event that’s been historically repeated by you under the exact same conditions every time.

I used to know people that would call themselves “non-smokers”. Then.. When it’s 1am at a party, I look and see them smoking a cigarette.

When I approached them and asked them what the **** they were doing, their reply, across the board, was “oh.. I only smoke when I’m drunk.”

That makes you a SMOKER when you’re drunk, and since you get drunk EVERY WEEKEND, that makes you *NOT* a non-smoker.

Labels are useless.

It’s Regular

It’s now the year 2011 AD. Nobody expects chicks not to make out with chicks. That’s what they do. \o/

This was the dialogue from the cab ride from the club back to the hotel:

• Sammi: They’ve been making out for, like, three hours. (referring to Nicole and Deena)
• Jenni: This is not no ordinary girl makeout session. This is like they’re going to **** each other when they get back to the hotel, and I have to share a room with them.
• Sammi: I don’t even make out this long with Ron.

See what I mean? o_O “ordinary girl makeout session”. It’s regular. Nobody cares. I don’t understand what Deena’s protesting about. \o/ According to the videotaped evidence, when Deena’s drunk, she’s likely to dance with chicks, make out with chicks and hop in bed with chicks. It’s not like people are making up stuff she doesn’t actually do, right in front of their faces.

Now, haha As funny as it is when the guys talk about “Lesbie Friends” and “Lesbie Honest, Here” and “Lez Go!” and “At least the carpets are clean” and “You didn’t eat enough last night?”, none of that would be happening if Deena just admitted she’s an omnisexual and rocked with the reality of her life and attractions.

The reason the jokes are so funny is that she keeps protesting and lying and bullshitting instead of just owning up to the facts and being herself.

However.. There’s another very important issue that came to light this episode…

I don’t remember.. But I definitely didn’t do THAT!!! :O

Another ultra-pathetic aspect of The Game that was highlighted this episode is how people try to play both sides of the memory situation.

Pro Tip: If you don’t remember what you *DID*, you can’t possibly remember what you *DIDN’T DO*.

Long Story Short.. Deena & Nicole get drunk in the afternoon, dance, feel each other up and make out for the rest of the entire day and night, make out all the way home in the cab and then hop under the covers together and wake up the next afternoon talking about “Do you remember what happened last night? o_O”

Fortunately, the cameras were rolling the entire time, so it doesn’t matter what you remember.

The important line is when Deena says to Nicole “I don’t remember anything after we left that restaurant”, then, when Nicole says “I remember making out with you”, Deena’s reply is “We didn’t do anything else.”…..

um…. WHAT? :D

When you left the restaurant, you went to the club. When you left the club, you got in the cab and came home. You eventually went to sleep. You eventually woke back up. You’re now having a conversation.

*IF* you don’t remember anything after you left the restaurant, you can not say *WHAT* you did at the club, in the cab, or when you came home and hopped in bed with a chick.

You can’t say anything at all, other than “I don’t remember anything after we left that restaurant”, so you most certainly are not credible when you say things like “We didn’t do anything else”.

A lot of people aren’t smart enough to realize that they’re claiming amnesia and lucid recall at the same time.

A lot of people don’t understand that they make totally different decisions when they’re drunk, like I mentioned above about smokers.

When you’re not drunk, you can’t speak for your drunk-self and say “I would not have done XYZ” or “I didn’t do XYZ” when you incapacitated yourself to the point that you can’t walk straight, you often fall down and you experience memory blackouts in the morning.

I know this because I’ve been there.

I’ve had enough to drink on some evenings where I’ve had to ask close and trusted friends what I did the night before. When they told me, I had to take their word for it, because I had ZERO. RECALL. OF. THAT. EVENING… Even their telling me didn’t jar actual memories. If the information is gone, the information is gone.

What’s worse is when people get indignant about what you’re telling them they did.

Due to your incapacitating yourself with alcohol or whatever substance, essentially, I was there, and you were not. I know what happened, and you do not.

Therefore, in the absence of videotaped evidence, if Jenni says that Deena and Nicole made out all the way home in the cab, there’s no point in either one of them getting mad or trying to dispute the facts, because THEY. HAVE. NO. MEMORY. and therefore NO. SAY. about how that period of time is written into the history books.

Caviat Emptor

This situation is insanely dangerous for guys.

Thanks to the pressures of the double standard, chicks are liable to lie and say they didn’t do what you know they did.

This could happen because they have no memory but don’t want to believe they did what they did. It could also happen because they *DO* remember what they did and now they feel like hoes and want to relieve themselves of their personal responsibility by blaming something on you that you didn’t do to them.

For this reason, it’s *REALLY* in your best interest to NOT hook up with drunk chicks. :)

I know this doesn’t make any sense, because it’s easier to screw drunk women than sober ones. I get that. I understand… What I’m telling you is that there are a lot of guys that had to deal with a lot of legal problems as well as illegal problems (she tells guys she knows that you took advantage of her, when you didn’t) because they wanted to get laid one night, so think about it before you hook up with the easy lay.. Sometimes, it’s simply and entirely not worth it.

The other aspect of “Buyer Beware” is what happened after the fact, when Nicole had to call her so-called “boyfriend” and tell him about the evening’s events.

Remember what I said, about chicks downplaying what actually happened? o_O .. She went ahead and told her “boyfriend” that she got drunk and made out with Deena and “That’s pretty much all that happened”.

Sorry. That was a bullshit lie.

This is, again, where Jersey Shore is an anomaly. That lie would have stood if there wasn’t videotaped evidence to the contrary. Anybody that’s not on a “reality” show wouldn’t have gotten caught in that lie.

This is why it isn’t worth asking someone you’re dating what they did last night. You may or may not get the truth. There’s no reason to base the rest of your relationship on what they TOLD YOU happened, when, similar to the person that drank too much to remember, *YOU* have no idea at all what happened last night.

Of course.. This also flies in the face of Nicole’s lie about not hooking up with Mike… Remember the same guy she was making out with in that hot tub video I linked from Season 01? o_O .. When he recently snitched on her for blowing him while they were on break before this Italy season, she got mad at him for ratting her out, but didn’t have anything to say when he offered to tell the details of exactly where and what happened.

So, basically, you get what you get and you have what you have. There’s no point in trying to police your significant other‘s behavior when you’re not physically in their presence. They’re going to do whatever they want and tell you whatever they want after the fact.. assuming they even REMEMBER what happened, to begin with.

I’m expecting a bunch more “nothing” from the rest of this season, because MTV’s run out of storylines other than whether Mike’s going to hook up with Nicole again, which nobody cares about.

According to the edit, Vinny’s been completely ineffective at pulling chicks in Italy, except for the “Virgin Twin” that Deena stole from Mike and handed off to Vinny when she was finished.

Ronnie’s one of the girls, spending all his time with Sammi, Nicole, Jenni, and Deena = no action.

Pauly hasn’t done jack-**** since he landed in Italy.

Mike met some American chick that he was steadily screwing until he smashed his own head into a wall and injured his neck = zero Italian action, with the single credit I can give him being that he pulled the two chicks to come back to the house, but when Pauly let the grenade loose, Mike’s girl bounced too, so that particular fumble wasn’t his fault.

Jenni and Sammi have boyfriends = no action.

Deena hooks up with anything that isn’t too drunk to run away from her.

Nicole has a “boyfriend”, gets drunk and hooks up with chicks all night while denying that she blew Mike, whom there’s videotaped evidence of her messing with in the hot tub.

We’ve already seen all this stuff played out over and over and over and over and YAWWWWWWNNN

Even though my previous prediction didn’t work out, which is why we’re suffering through a useless Italy season, my *NEW* prediction is that they do one more Jersey Shore season at the actual Jersey Shore and then retire this concept.

There’s no depth of field in this subculture where they can switch out cast members like The Real World. They’re stuck with these 8 (9, if you count Angelina) people, and all their interactions were redundant about a year ago.

However.. As we know.. Television isn’t about entertainment, but ROI (Return On Investment), and as long as MTV’s getting more money from Jersey Shore fans than they’re spending on producing the show, we may very well see “Jersey Shore: Kentucky” coming soon to a television near you. :/
–
Follow Bill on Google+ | Facebook | Twitter | Email Subscription | RSS Feed

Related Posts

• “Jersey Shore” Italy: Double Header
• “Jersey Shore” Italy, Episode 02
• Jersey Shore Italy Season Predictions
• “Jersey Shore” Italy: Twinning [Part 02 of 02]
• “Jersey Shore” Italy: Twinning [Part 01 of 02]

The other day, reader “Fishingrod” made a post suggestion:

“… In exchange for the new things to consider, maybe you could do me a favour some day and explain in one of your articles the benefit of having sex with almost complete strangers.”

I’m going to get around to that, and I’ve been thinking about that post ever since I read that request. In the meantime, I went out last night, and upon reflection, I think the situation’s actually worse than “just” wanting to have sex with almost complete strangers.

Tactical Observations

As we’ve discussed before, there are literally hundreds of thousands of women on the NYC dating scene. You can’t “throw a rock” without hitting a chick you might like to hook up with or that you might be ABLE to hook up with. Optimally, you’ll end up in a location where you like some chick and she likes you and y’all can mutually agree to have a good time together. If that’s not the case, then the likely scenario is that you see chicks that you’re physically attracted to that either aren’t interested in you or may actually actively dislike you as a person or at least dislike your presentation or what you’re bringing to the table. This is where “worse” comes in. :)

Lots of people would think that “She doesn’t like me as a person” or “She’s not physically attracted to me” would be a deterrent to guys. It’s actually merely a tactical observation. The goal remains the same… to “get on”. You’re not trying to make friends… You’re trying to get laid.

The reason I’m calling this “worse” than what Fishingrod was asking about is that in the scenario of meeting someone and messing with them within hours of ever seeing them in life, at least you can say that there was some kind of lust or mutual attraction that fueled the situation. If the chick’s not into you and you’re still interested in having sex with her, the motivation’s clearly one-sided desire-fulfillment.

Who Cares?

There’s nothing wrong with that in and of itself, however, as I think about it right now… I’m SURE that there are lasting psychological effects to consistently interacting with women that don’t like you. There’s a “So what?” mentality that one develops, in regards to what women think. She doesn’t like you? “So what?”. She doesn’t want to have sex with you? “So what?”. She likes somebody else? “So what?”. She says she’s a lesbian? “So what?”. The only thing that matters is whether she’s gonna give you some or she isn’t.

This is why I say these are merely tactical observations that the dating shark uses to modify his (or her) game. Actually, there are some guys that LIKE the fact that a chick doesn’t want to give him some, because it seems to pose some sort of challenge for a change. There are also guys that PREFER to kick it to women that aren’t interested, because the fun of the whole situation is changing their minds, not actually getting on.

Going off-topic for a second.. This is one of the reasons why some guys flirt incessantly with women and then never produce “the goods”. :D The fun of the situation is “turning them”… Moving them from “She’s not interested” to “I could have that anytime I want it”. Ironically… or perhaps paradoxically or perhaps neither… The fact that she eventually BECOMES willing to give it up removes her immediately from the list of women “of interest” for guys whose motivation is the challenge itself.

So.. Tactical observation made… The pool of women to chase is entirely based on the guy’s physical attraction to her and what she thinks about him, dating or sex is absolutely irrelevant. You’d be amazed how many women don’t understand this. They’re baffled when guys don’t back off when they tell them they’re not interested. It’s because nobody cares what you think. This is especially true for guys that are very used to rejection, because they try and try and try to get on and chicks keep rejecting them. Eventually, “She doesn’t want to have sex with me” becomes a “given”. Before you say word #1 to a chick, you’re expecting resistance and you’re expecting to outlast and overcome that resistance.

It’s all in the game.

Alcohol

Another aspect of the NYC game (and probably everywhere else) is that we drink… A. LOT! :D

The intelligent guy knows to make a clear distinction between the personality of the exact same chick when she’s tipsy/drunk and when she’s sober. You get used to stuff. She’s being an asshole because she’s drunk. She’s kissing me because she’s drunk. She’s smoking because she’s drunk. Her sentences don’t make any sense because she’s drunk.

There are lots of women that you meet for the first time in life while they’re inebriated (and so are YOU! :D haha). Your best bet is to count on the fact that when they sober up, they’re either going to forget ENTIRELY that they messed with you or they’re going to have a different mental perspective about it. Originally, I didn’t understand this and took it personally. I specifically remember verbally LAMBASTING a couple of chicks that tried to pull some sort of revisionist history, buyer’s remorse garbage on me hahaha. Eventually, I realized that not only was I not dealing with the same chick I had messed with when she was drunk, but that THEY had a skewed perspective of who they really were and that they weren’t so much saying something about me, but rather about themselves. At this point, I know the drill and catalogue two different personalities for chicks, based on whether they’re inebriated or not.

This is another thing that psychologically adds to “worse”. “She hooked up with me because she was drunk” seems to be a neutral statement, but ultimately, I think it’s a negative statement. The implication is “I can have that anytime I want it, so long as she’s drunk”, as opposed to “She likes me as a person and feels naturally physically attracted to me”. It also adds to the “So what?” about what she says because regardless of what she says when she’s sober, you know you’ll be dealing with an entirely different animal once she gets drunk. So now, not only don’t you care at all what she has to say, but you know there’s no value at all in her words past her tolerance level for alcohol.

The Point

Ultimately, the bottom line is desire fulfillment. Similar to being in a war, and, yes, I’m perfectly comfortable comparing the two of them on an emotional level, not a “physical danger” level… Whatever has to be done to achieve your goal (getting laid) will be done.

This comes at a pretty high price when it comes to dealing with people. In “24″, Jack refers to people as Assets and others attempt to remind him that these “assets” are actually human beings. That’s because Jack has his eyes on the prize to the degree that he’s seeing people as being useful or not-useful for achieving his goals.

I suggest that the exact same desensitization goes on in the trenches of the dating game. For a lot of guys, chicks are assets. She has the look or she doesn’t. She’s “of interest” or she’s not. You’re willing to put in the work to pull her or you aren’t. I’m sure there are lots of women that have reached this state as well.

This isn’t a rant or complaint, it’s merely an observation based on my going out into the scene while thinking about the necessary components to answer Fishingrod’s question. It’s not only a question of “almost complete strangers” hooking up, but also people that under different circumstances might not even associate with each other or like each other as people being physically attracted to each other in the moment and doing what they do. It’s also a question of whether guys are trying to make friends or get laid (or whatever version of action they’re into). Dating in NYC is tough enough for women as it is, but I think the longer people are involved in ‘The Game’, the more it becomes not only impersonal for them, but actually intensely predatory.

~Bill

Twitter: BillCammack
Facebook Fan Page: Bill Cammack
DatingGenius Category: billcammack.com/category/datinggenius
Subscribe to DG!: feeds.feedburner.com/BillCammackDatingGenius
 

Related Posts

• Asking Women Out On Dates
• You’re Still Not Me
• He’s Lying To You [The Okey-Doke, Part 02]
• Girls Don’t Have Friends That Are Guys
• Shocking Dating Advice!

There’s been a lot of talk this week about what a guy should and shouldn’t do when his girl acts up. The majority of people who chimed in said “A man should *never* hit a woman”. Fewer people remarked “If she raises her hands like a man, she should be prepared to get dealt with like a man”. The way I see it… If you even have to THINK about fighting with your “significant other”, you’re dating the wrong person.

Here are my top 5 tips on how to NOT let your girl stress you out:

1) Get more girls

Did you ever notice that every time we hear about some kind of male vs. female violence, it’s always some dude that only has ONE chick? Think about that. When was the last time you heard of a guy that had multiple girlfriends getting into something physical with one of them? Never.

That’s because that guy has CHOICE. He has OPTIONS. If one chick’s trippin’ out, you just don’t talk to her until she gets her mind right. Case closed. *wiping hands* If she doesn’t get her mind right… Who cares? You’re still living the life you want to live, except SHE’S not involved in it.

Guys with one chick can’t afford this “I don’t need her, I’ll let the welfare feed her” mental state. When you remove a gal from the roster, it makes a huge difference whether you’re going from 4 girlfriends to 3 or from 1 girlfriend to 0. Zero Women is a state or condition that you want to avoid at all costs. Women come in handy from time to time, and it’s extremely stressful when you’re like “D-OH! Don’t Got None!”.

Because guys can’t afford to lose their last chick, if they only have one left, they tend to let things slide that otherwise would have gotten that gal excommunicated. These situations build up and build up until sometimes, unfortunately, the guy gets so stressed out that he flips the %&$# out and does something retarded and regrettable.

When you have more than one girlfriend, and one of them starts jumping up and down on your last nerve… Stop talking to her. Lose her number for a month or two. If she wants to know what happened, man up and tell her why she’s “persona non grata”. After that, it’s her choice to amend her behavior and be readmitted or keep acting like a jerk and get her kicks somewhere else. Either way, you end up interacting with ONLY women that want to have a good time with you, which is what life’s all about! ;)

2) Date chicks with low self-esteem

If you insist on just having one chick… or you just can’t stand to listen to how more than one woman’s day was within a 24-hour period, make sure you select one with low self-esteem.

The only thing worse than “Zero Women” for a guy is “Zero Men” for a gal. Women have it easy here in the USA. All they have to do is a) look good, and b) go outside, and they can have a boyfriend. Not being in a relationship is extremely stressful for women who aren’t comfortable with themselves as-is. They worry about why the high school dropout girl (with the bangin’ body) that flips burgers at the fast food restaurant has her boyfriend waiting to pick her up when her shift is over, and they don’t have anyone when they have three degrees and are CEOs of their own successful startups.

So make sure you’re dating a gal that wants to avoid “Zero Men” at all costs, and you’re in there like Belvedere. She’s much more likely to pay attention and follow the rules. There are at least two problems with this though. First of all, it might be really boring dating a chick that always does what she’s supposed to do. Second, it could backfire on you if she gets really desperate and aggressive when she feels like she’s heading for “Zero Men” status. So you want her to not be a troublemaker, but at the same time, you want her to have her own life outside of spending time with YOU.

3) Hannle yo bidnezz in the bedroom

Chicks aren’t troublemakers by nature… They’re just bored. They think to themselves “Hmm… I’m bored, and I don’t know how to play SOCOM or HALO, so let me get my man to take out the trash!”

Fortunately for you, women are easily distracted by sex.

Hit it proppah and her thought process becomes “I’m gonna get my man to….. OH, he’s watching the game! Let me take out that pesky trash myself!”. Came home late, and she’s running her mouth? Give her some “special attention” and watch her attitude dissipate into thin air.

4) Drink alcoholic beverages

When a woman gets on your nerves, nothing calms you down more than forgetting that you ever met her. :) Joe & Riccardi recommend scotch. I like beer, or especially tequila. Maybe my nervous system doesn’t work properly, because Heavy Metal calms me down and R&B makes me feel upset… but tequila smooths me out and makes everything light & breezy… ahhhhhh.

Don’t overdo it though, by going for aggressive beverages including rum or vodka. You’re aiming for “I know she said something, but I’m really not sure what it was….”, not “WHAT???… WHAT DID SHE SAY TO ME???”

Also, before utilizing this technique, make sure you have the numbers of several car service or cab companies. If you run out of beer, you’ll need a way to get her out of your crib without drinking and driving before the alcohol wears off.

5) Screen women before dating them

Now I know you met her at the party and she was looking “Good Than A Mug” and all that, but hold your horses. Step to the left and break out your g1 right quick so you can Google her. You should immediately see GirlYou’reTryingToKickItTo.com as well as a couple of the Social Media sites she frequents.

If all she has is a Myspace account, well… You know what time THAT is. Act accordingly. If she’s on Facebook, she’s probably legit. Linkedin? RATHER legit! OTOH, if she’s ghost on the internet, that’s normally not a good sign haha. I mean, it’s not a dealbreaker, like as if she doesn’t own a Macbook Pro, but it probably indicates that there are no checks & balances.

With all the connectivity we have in 2009, there’s just about no reason to date anyone that NOBODY that you know is willing to or able to vouch for. Make sure you get your e-Stalk on SOONER rather than LATER so you don’t end up in the tabloids!

~Bill

Twitter: BillCammack
DatingGenius Category: billcammack.com/category/datinggenius
Subscribe to DG!: feeds.feedburner.com/BillCammackDatingGenius
 

Related Posts

• Paranoid Players [Hunters, Part 04]
• Buying Women
• How to avoid having sex with your BUSTED girlfriend
• Appreciate Your Girlfriend
• How To Compliment A Woman

When a woman leaves you, you may feel heartbroken, depressed, wistful, horny, betrayed, disappointed… :( any number of feelings, consecutively or simultaneously. Here are five tips on how to move on with your life, and learn to love again………

1) Have sex with her sister

hahahahaha Just Kidding! :D

… unless her sister’s HAWT!

This won’t help you feel better about yourself if her sister’s like “eeeh, ok”, because she’s not an upgrade. Depending on how mediocre she is, you may end up feeling EXPONENTIALLY WORSE! :(

Also, this does NOT… repeat… DOES *NOT* work with her best-girlfriend! Do Not Make This Mistake. A lot of women are extremely emotionally volatile & catty. Their friendships with other women turn on a dime… like happened in her relationship to YOU! :D This means that there’s the potential that in the very near future, your ex-girlfriend won’t care AT ALL about you banging her friend, so you basically wasted your time. (Note for non-Americans… “Banging” is a slang term for “having sex”, most likely derived from the sound the woman’s head makes against the headboard)

2) Have sex with her mother

ok, *NOW* I’m kidding! :D

… unless her mother’s RICH!…….. and HAWT!

3) Get a hobby

Take that extra energy that you have, now that you’re not tappin’ that three times a day, and start working out. You want to meet women in the gym anyway, because they’re WYSIWYG. They don’t get to hide their muffin-tops under those Pee-wee Herman maternity dresses.

Besides… You were probably getting flabby anyway, since you knew you were going to get laid, regardless, so working out is a double-win for you.

4) Make tons of money

The best revenge is living well. Now that she’s not with you, buy that yacht and sail past her house every Saturday with your new girlfriends that you picked up at the gym! :D Rev your new Ferrari’s engine outside that diner where she’s working the overnight shift to make ends meet after her regular job on the assembly line at the sock factory.

oh… wait….. Make sure you didn’t have any kids with her before y’all broke up! If you did, skip this tip, because the more money you make, the more you have to give her in alimony and child support, so you’d actually be better off trying to figure out how to get her back instead of buying boats and cars. :D

5) Drink alcohol

Helps you forget your ex ever existed and makes her sister look better, in case you decide to try #1. :D

~Bill

DatingGenius Category: billcammack.com/category/datinggenius
Subscribe to DG!: feeds.feedburner.com/BillCammackDatingGenius
 

Related Posts

• Ladies: How To Get Over Your Ex-Boyfriend
• How to avoid having sex with your BUSTED girlfriend
• Sluts & Whores
• 5 Tips on How To Get A Girlfriend
• How To Dress Your Girlfriend

According to Webster’s, these are the definitions for id, ego and superego:

Id: the one of the three divisions of the psyche in psychoanalytic theory that is completely unconscious and is the source of psychic energy derived from instinctual needs and drives

ego: the one of the three divisions of the psyche in psychoanalytic theory that serves as the organized conscious mediator between the person and reality especially by functioning both in the perception of and adaptation to reality

superego: the one of the three divisions of the psyche in psychoanalytic theory that is only partly conscious, represents internalization of parental conscience and the rules of society, and functions to reward and punish through a system of moral attitudes, conscience, and a sense of guilt

Now… I just had an interesting conversation the other night about these concepts based on my post “Alcohol Is No Excuse”. Basically, what I said in that post, without getting into the underlying psychology is that as long as you don’t completely incapacitate yourself with alcohol, you’re doing what you WANT to do when you’re drunk, and not some crazy, off-the-wall ish that “came out of nowhere”. Therefore, Alcohol is NOT an excuse for cheating or abusive behavior or whatever.

So I’m chatting with this friend of mine, and she asks me about Freud. I’m like “What about him?”, and she brings up id, ego and superego. I don’t remember verbatim what she said, but it revolved around which of the three is actually “You”. I hadn’t thought about it before, because, to me, it’s obvious that the id is “You”… However, I realize that my whole post about alcohol was based on that particular belief of mine and that it’s worth discussing the three divisions.

According to the definition above, the id is your natural instinct… it’s what you would do without any parameters or external interference. The superego holds the rules for what you’re SUPPOSED to do in a given situation. The ego is where “You” decide what you’re going to do, taking into account the influences of the id and the superego. My impression of drinking, based on these three, is that there’s the potential for the superego to become disabled or disappear entirely, leaving the ego with only the stimulus from the id when it comes to deciding what to do.

This is why people wake up the next day talkin’ ’bout “Why didn’t you stop me?” and “I’m not that type of person” and “I don’t hook up with people I just met” and “I only screw attractive chicks” and “That’s not your twin brother’s baby… it’s yours”. They’ve tried so hard to NOT be who they really are that they don’t recognize their own behavior when the rules disappear from their minds.

So… Depending on how you see this, by alcohol removing the superego’s influence, it’s either removing what you think is “You”, leaving you ‘prey’ to your own natural instincts… or it’s ENABLING you to be “You” by removing what you’ve been taught that’s suppressing your natural way of being. Well… Sorry… You are NOT the rules your parents taught you. You are NOT what you learned in school. You are NOT the contents of your wallet. You are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.

How do I know this? Because whomever you really are, you will be taught different things depending on what society you’re born into or come into contact with. “Morals” are different in different places. That has nothing to do with who YOU are and what turns YOU on and what doesn’t. The superego is set up for you to not make yourself a pariah or worse by disrespecting society’s standards. If your society says every guy should have ONE girlfriend and you have SEVERAL, you’re out of bounds. The superego reminds you to play it off as if you’re only messing with one chick. Are you really doing that? No. You’re maintaining your staus in society (as well as assuring a decent probability of physical safety/survival) by going along with what people EXPECT you to do and what people TOLD you to do.

How come these rules go out the window for some people when they drink? How come people don’t adhere MORE TIGHTLY to the rules that they “live by” when they’re sober? How come it’s not the id that ‘goes’, instead of the superego? How come people do more ‘dirt’ when they’re drunk than when they’re sober? How come the people that do ‘dirt’ when they’re sober don’t become pious individuals when they get drunk? :D It’s because the entire thing is a front, and you are who you are, regardless of the rules you’re TRYING to follow.

So the next time somebody gets drunk and does something and replies “that wasn’t me”, ask them who it was. :D Ask them where they got the idea to do what they did. Did they get it from television? Did they get drunk and then see something in a movie and want to see if they could do it in real life? :D Where did this impulse come from for your boyfriend to screw your sister or stay out all night without calling you? How come your girl was spotted at the club getting her freak on with the next man? Please… Feel FREE to ask people that tell you that alcohol was an excuse for what they did to tell you WHERE they got the idea and post it here, or on your own blog or whatever, because either they don’t want to admit or they don’t UNDERSTAND that it was actually THEIR idea from the beginning.

Also… How is it that there’s a common thread to what happens? How come people don’t get drunk and buy your mother flowers? :D Get drunk and paint your car? Get drunk and fund your startup?… ok, bad example. I’m sure that happens all the time, but you see what I’m saying. How come it’s always stuff that people try to excuse away? That’s because they did What. They. Wanted. To. Do, and what they would have done in the first place if they weren’t carrying their brainwashing around with them in their superegos.

You know what else is common amongst humans?

Smiling.

Did you notice that? Regardless of what language people speak, they tend to SMILE when they’re happy and FROWN when they’re upset. Do you know why that is? Did they ALL get the memo? Did people around the world DECIDE that they were going to teach babies to smile and laugh when they’re happy? I know *I* didn’t get that memo. Do you think it’s the superego that’s smiling? Is it morally right in lots of countries with DIFFERING moral codes to smile or laugh when you feel happy? Is it the ego that’s smiling? Do you CHOOSE to smile, because you won’t become a pariah or get attacked by society if you do so? Is it a natural reaction of the id? Is it purely physical?

So, yeah. I say the id is “You”, the superego is the set of rules that keeps you safe in the society you happen to be in and the ego handles the conscious decision-making between what you WANT to do and what you’re actually GOING to do.

Now, in some cases, the choice is the same. Some guys open doors for the ladies whether they’re drunk or sober. Some people are loud and obnoxious drunk or sober. Some people are FREAKS drunk or sober. Some people are piously religious drunk or sober. Also, like I said in the other post, people can definitely incapacitate themselves with alcohol, which is a totally different issue from drinking to the point where your superego takes a vacation. If you can’t drink, DON’T DRINK. Period. If you’re friends with someone that can’t handle their liquor, TELL THEM SO and do what you can to make them see the light. Videotape them if you have to, so you can show these “I’m not that type of person” people the type of people that they really are.

So if you’ve read this far, I’m impressed. :) I’d love to hear/read what you think as far as where “You” reside in your psyche, and whether you think alcohol disables the “You” or enables the “You”. Meanwhile, You can go vote for me on the Silicon Alley 100 or catch up with me at the bar! :D

DatingGenius

Related Posts

• How To Get Over Your Ex-Girlfriend
• Sorry… That’s Not Love
• Why Your Boyfriend Dumped You
• Happy Together
• Why Women Have To Be Attractive And Men Don’t