Alpha Status Is Absolute, Not Relative

Claiming top dog status amongst nobodies doesn’t make you somebody.

I’m watching this video the other day that was recorded by a bunch of Herbs.

A “Herb”, basically, is a nobody. A chump. A male but not a man. Not meaning a boy, which could still be a young man, but a male who just isn’t effective for anything useful so he’s generally disregarded whether he’s told so or not.

So I’m clear that there are a bunch of Herbs on the screen, and then one of them says “There are too many Alphas in this room! :D” and they all get happy and start smiling about themselves.

Meanwhile, I’m like what? o_O There are *ZERO* Alphas in that room. Continue reading “Alpha Status Is Absolute, Not Relative”

Why Dating Is Confrontational

Kay S. Hymowitz posted a very well written, albeit extremely long-winded (which sounds funny coming from me, haha) article entitled “Love in the Time of Darwinism”. It’s a great read, if you’re not in the trenches, experiencing this stuff first-hand. She basically talks about why guys are disgruntled with the dating scene as it stands today.

She also mentions this term I never heard of, called “Menaissance”, which is supposed to be the resurgence of real men after the systematic REMOVAL of real men from American media for years and years and years and years and years.

According to AskMen.com, here are the rules for the new Menaissance:

No more intimidation
Reject sexual blackmail
Keep your wallet closed
Assert yourself
Be nice
Never apologize for being a man
Expect nothing but ultimate respect

ummmmmmmm….. What kind of BULLSHIT is this? You can’t teach cats to be dogs. You can’t teach horses to be humans and you can’t teach non-Alphas to be Alphas. You have it or you don’t. You’re living that life or you’re not. You can’t read an article that tells you to stand up for yourself and suddenly do it, when it doesn’t make sense in YOUR reality.

How is the average joe supposed to “reject sexual blackmail” when all he wants in life is to get laid? How is he supposed to “keep his wallet closed” if shelling out ducats is the only way he gets women to lay down? How is he supposed to assert himself when he’s already been brainwashed that a gentleman is supposed to be gentile? Why should he “never apologize for being a man” when he’s so busy NOT being a man every day of his life? Why should he “expect respect” when he doesn’t COMMAND respect?

Anyway… there IS no “Menaissance”, because the game hasn’t changed AT.ALL. It’s still about “getting girls”, so guys are going to do whatever’s EFFECTIVE for them to get laid, whether that’s paying money, being intimidated, apologizing or being disrespected left and right as long as they can get some.

Kay’s article reminded me of a topic that was brought up to me back on June 11, 2008. I was having a discussion with a woman who suddenly informed me that she read my blog. Obviously, that changed the tone of the discussion, and she ended up asking me something to the effect of why everything I write is confrontational. I meant to write about that but never got around to it.

The best-case-scenario for meeting chicks is mutual attraction. You like her. She likes you. Done deal. That’s all well and good if A) women like you to begin with and B) you live in the sticks, where there’s no competition. Here, in Manhattan, NYC, USA, there’s a high likelihood that a guy who makes exactly one million more dollars than you do every single year is going to kick it to the same chick YOU want. If you have a MetroCard, a guy with a car wants her. If you have a car, the guy with the yacht wants her. If you live in Brooklyn, the guy that lives in SoHo wants her. If you have a job, a guy with a funded startup wants her.

Basically, you have to be loaded for bear if you’re gonna try to pull a chick here, because she has so many guys offering her sex, money and favors that you have to be better than ALL OF THEM to get her to choose you. So that’s the first reason why relations between men and women are confrontational here. Men are at war with each other for the same chicks. If you’re just not “better” than the next man, you have to have tactics that keep you in the game.

The second, and more important reason why relations between men and women are confrontational is that unless and until you convince a woman that she has something invested in her relationship to you, she’s completely unreliable. You can’t count on SHIT that she says, unless she sees you as “her man” or “the one” or whatever she needs to get her mind right to do the right thing.

This becomes immediately obvious to guys as soon as their plans with a woman are disrespected or cancelled at the last minute or not cancelled and she just doesn’t show up, because “who cares?” ๐Ÿ˜€ Who cares about YOU? You’re just another wallet. You’re just another opportunity for sex or a roof over her head or food for her kids. Once guys realize this, they have two options… get depressed or get smart.

So that’s the reason why women can’t trust what men say. Nobody’s interested in telling you the truth. They’re interested in getting what they stepped to you for. If a guy tells you he’d rather have a truthful relationship to his woman than have sex with her, he’s lying……….. or she’s busted. ๐Ÿ˜€

One of the more hilarious things about this situation is that WOMEN try to give MEN tips on how to pull women… which usually involves some variation of “Be Yourself”. That’s retarded, because what if “yourself” isn’t good enough? You’re supposed to not get laid because you don’t know which one is the soup spoon? You’re supposed to not get laid because “being yourself” is grabbing her ass and telling her she looks HAWT? ๐Ÿ˜€ You’re supposed to not get laid because you’re currently dating 4 other chicks and you ADMIT that to her? Obviously, that’s ridiculous. The advice that women give men benefits WOMEN, not men.

Another problem with the dating scene is that women claim that it’s all about “his heart” and “who he is as a person” and “how he treats her” and then turn around and won’t date a guy that makes less than she does, or a guy that her #*%$ing DOG doesn’t like! :/ When a guy experiences enough of these RETARDED reasons why he can’t get laid, he learns that dating’s like the UFC… You have to take her down (mentally, not physically… stop crying) and you can’t leave it in the hands of the judges.

This is why everything I write is confrontational and about power struggle between men and women. In order to date a chick, you have to fight a war on at least three fronts. You’re fighting against her other suitors (“the next man”), you’re fighting against her own stupid ideas (“my dog doesn’t like him, so…”) and you’re fighting against her nosey girlfriends throwing in their two cents (“you can do better than him!”).

You can’t even relax after you GET her, because the cheating/divorce rates hover around 50%, so only HALF of the guys that go through all the trouble to pull ONE chick get to have her exclusively. Dating is constantly stressful to the guy that understands what time it is. He has to remain on-point and vigilant. He has to maintain his position with her as #1 in order to keep her useful and reliable. The Fellaz know I’m right! ๐Ÿ˜€ How USELESS does a chick become right after your relationship is over?

So, yeah. The smart guy does NOT let it go to a decision and leave it in the hands of the judges. He sees what he wants and makes moves to get it. Business is Business. Having said that… running game isn’t for the faint of heart. A lot of guys become MORE depressed about the fact that they have to connive women to have sex with them than they were about the fact that they couldn’t get on in the first place. It’s also potentially depressing how easily women are tricked with bullshit statements like “I love you” and “we’re together” and “I’m not seeing anyone else”……. It’s depressing because you know she doesn’t actually like YOU or know anything about YOU, but by doing some basic and effective tactics, you got what you wanted from her…. or, at least what you THOUGHT you wanted until you actually got it.

~Bill

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Fear of Commitment

“Fear of Commitment” is a valid term which is way too often misapplied, leading to yet another way that women confuse themselves when it comes to understanding what men are thinking.

Due to the fault of this chick who will remain nameless, I ended up watching some reality television show about housewives in NYC. :/ Now, before you start laughing and snapping, ๐Ÿ˜€ This is why I know more about women than you do… Because I study them.

Anyway…

So I’m watching this show, and this chick asks this guy, her “boyfriend”, to say whether or not he wants her to move in with him ON NATIONAL TELEVISION! He was eating at the time, so he couldn’t immediately respond, but he starts looking at her like “ARE YOU CRAZY? DIDN’T I TELL YOU NOT TO BRING THIS UP WITH THE CAMERAS AROUND? :O”. Priceless! So eventually, when he can speak, he says he wants to talk about it later. CLEARLY, this means “NOT WHEN THE CAMERAS ARE AROUND!”… So… of course… the chick asks him TWO MORE TIMES, gets shut down both times and next thing you know, due to the wonders of editing and time-lapse, she’s explaining to anyone who will listen about how she broke up with her “boyfriend”… the same guy that she claimed she wanted to have kids with within two years… tossed the entire relationship.

The ensuing commiseration and speculation between girlfriends is what got me thinking about “Fear of Commitment”. As I said, it’s a valid term, but it’s way too often applied to guys that are on a totally different wavelength. As an example, let’s look at Arachnophobia [fear of spiders… from Greek arachne (รŽยฑรยรŽยฌรโ€กรŽยฝรŽยท), “spider” and phobia (รโ€ รŽยฟรŽยฒรŽยฏรŽยฑ), “fear”]. If someone sees a spider and steps on it, they could very well be accused of being arachnophobic. The fact of the matter may very well be that they’re not AFRAID of spiders at all…. They just don’t LIKE them and don’t want to be around them. “Phobia”, therefore, doesn’t apply to these people. It would be more accurate and useful to call them “Anti-Spider”. You know that they’re ‘against’ spiders, but you’re not making any judgements about the REASONS why.

Similarly, a lot of guys are accused of “Fear of Commitment”. I personally can’t count how many times those three words have been tossed at me in that exact order. ๐Ÿ™‚ I propose that we consider some additional concepts, such as “No Reason To Commit” and “You’ve Overvalued Yourself Relative To Other Women”.

“Fear of Commitment” assumes that Commitment is natural in the first place. I’ll get into the Alpha Male thing some other time, but basically, there are some guys that are in demand and have no reason AT ALL to select one female to Pair Bond with. These guys will exhibit the same symptoms as a guy who’s actually AFRAID of commitment. They won’t do it. They’re not afraid of anything… It’s just that you have an inflated concept of your worth in his eyes relative to other women.

This is why women have problems going from “best girlfriend” to girlfriend or fiancee or wife. They’re trying to elevate the status of their relationship past where their “boyfriend” actually sees it. In the case of the reality show (which, obviously was taped a long time ago, because I saw a rerun of an edited show, so for all I know, the chick and guy in question are married right now), the chick wanted to go from “girlfriend that sleeps at the dude’s house every single night but still has her own apartment” to “we’re living together”. This reminds me of what women pass down from generation to generation, which is “Why Buy the Cow When You Can Get the Milk for Free?”. Ladies…. There is NO POSSIBLE BENEFIT to a guy for letting you move in with him if he already has 100% access to you as-is. None.

This is what y’all need to focus on if you’re trying to upgrade your relationship… What is the benefit TO HIM of changing the status from “chick he’s seeing” to “girlfriend”? From “girlfriend” to “fiancee”? From “fiancee to wife”? What’s the benefit TO HIM of having kids with you or moving in with you? Why do you need to think about that? Because that’s what HE’S thinking about and that’s what HE’S going to base his decisions on about whether your relationship progresses in a positive or negative direction. Just because YOU think HE’S the one doesn’t mean HE thinks YOU’RE the one. You need to think about that, sooner rather than later.

An additional problem for the chick in the show is that her “biological clock was ticking”, meaning she was getting to the age where she’s desperate to have kids if she’s going to have any at all. This, obviously, is HER problem. This is like when you’re in high school and you don’t start your homework until 11pm when you’re already getting tired. It’s like knowing you have a test coming up on Friday and then cramming on Thursday night. Just like neither of those situations is the teacher’s problem, her “biological clock” isn’t her boyfriend’s problem. According to what she told her girlfriends, when he wouldn’t say that he’d be ready in a year or two (if ever) to have kids with her, she broke off the relationship. Typical. Only problem is, she should have thought about that sooner rather than later, because now, if she doesn’t reinstate her relationship to him, she has to start all over from square one and meet a new guy, get to know him, get him to like her AND get him to agree to have kids with her all within the exact same two year time span. :/

I’ll refer to this as an impulse buy, because this is the stage where it’s easy to get desperate females at discount rates. You’d be surprised how low women’s standards become when they’re scrambling to achieve something. It’s kind of like how guys are, all the time. ๐Ÿ˜€

Speaking of opposites, attractive women could be accused of the same thing. Isn’t it “Fear of Commitment” when a chick has a guy that will take her out and buy her steak for lunch… then turns around and goes out with a different guy who’s willing to buy her lobster for dinner? Hmmmmmmm ๐Ÿ˜€

Why should she choose one guy over the other if they’re both spending money on her? What’s her incentive to stop seeing all of her other guys? Why should she not get the multiple compliments, gifts, trips and bootie calls?

So, similar to how women to go out on dates with guys without having any intention of upgrading their relationship, guys do the same thing. Messing around or hooking up isn’t a ticket to “girlfriend” isn’t a ticket to “fiancee” isn’t a ticket to “wife” isn’t a ticket to “having kids with you”. So, instead of claiming that a guy’s afraid to commit to you, your energies would be better spent figuring out if you’re the kind of woman that might inspire him to commit in the first place.

DatingGenius

Life Isn’t Fair

OK Fellaz, let’s get down to brass tacks here.

The way “dating” is set up in patriarchal society, it’s up to YOU, as the guy, to run the show. YOU kick it to the chick, she decides whether to give you some or not. You make the money. You make the decisions. You’re the “head of household”. No matter how much this society tries to make you into women, you’re *NOT*, so get over it and handle your business when it comes to chicks.

Having said that….. Since it’s YOUR responsibility to pull the chick, it’s YOUR responsiblity to be FLY! That’s a slang term meaning VERY GOOD in general, but in this case, we’re talking about your overall presentation. We’re talking about how you look, how you act, what shape you’re in, how ambitous you are in your career, how you handle your money… Top to Bottom, you have to be better than the next man if you think you’re going to get the rap to some chick.

LIFE. IS. NOT. FAIR.

You are not ENTITLED to a girlfriend.
You are not ENTITLED to have any female friends AT ALL.
You are not ENTITLED to have sex with a chick even if she likes hanging out with you.
You are not ENTITLED to have instant messenger text or video chats with chicks.
You are not ENTITLED to responses to your emails or direct messages.
You *ARE* entitled to….. *NOTHING*. ๐Ÿ˜€

All men are NOT created equal. We may have been born through the same process, but some of us have distinct advantages over others. Go look up Alpha Males, Beta Males and Omega Males. If you’re a natural, chicks just like you and that’s that. You can do whatever you want, such as write blog posts that talk yang about males and females AT THE SAME TIME, and you will still have girls attracted to you just by walking in the door. Life Isn’t Fair. ๐Ÿ˜€

The problem with Omega Males is that they refuse to correctly perceive themselves as the bottom of the barrel. They think to themselves “That good-looking, in-shape, well-educated, friendly, gregarious, charming, well-spoken guy over there can get girls…. so can I!” BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Wrong.

The first thing Omega Males need to do is realize their position in life. It’s like going to Alcoholics Anonymous. Unless you admit you have a problem, you’ll never go for treatment. The first step is admitting that YOU’RE WACK! … Say it with me now… “I am wack”. See? Don’t you feel better now? ๐Ÿ˜€ NOW we can get to the part where you attempt to overcome your deficiencies. See, by thinking you’re the same as guys that women actually WANT to talk to them, you’re doing yourself a disservice because you’re not trying as hard as *YOU* need to in order to pull a decent female. Then, when the chick cuts off communications with you, you try to blame it on her. You want to say she’s fickle or a tease or she led you on. Let me let you in on a little secret…..

Chicks in general are non-confrontational. You would think that’s a good thing, but it isn’t… not for YOU. It’s good for guys that girls WANT, because you say “let’s get out of here ;)” and she says “ok” and it’s on and poppin’. The problem for YOU is that she never wanted to talk to you in the first place. She saw you come in the door. She saw you on the dance floor. She saw you post up in her area. She saw you looking out the corner of your eye to try to gauge if you’d be successful in rapping to her or not. She knew what you wanted when you asked her what time it is or if she’d like to dance. She knew you were going to try to get on. She knew you would ask her for her number…..

This is where the non-confrontational part comes in. She will do one of three things. She will inform you that she’s not going to give you her number, she will give you a fake number or she will give you a real number.

If she tells you “no” from the get, she’s going to have to listen to you whining and trying to change her mind.

If she gives you a fake number, she takes the risk that you will call her immediately and realize that you connected to Pizza Hut. More whining from you and trying to change her mind. On top of that, she looks like an IDIOT because she “doesn’t know her own telephone number”. Now, she has to either tell you “no” or give up the real number.

If she gives you the real number, it’s still a trap. ๐Ÿ™‚ There are only two ways you can call her. With or without Caller ID. If you call her with your number blocked, she’s going to let it go to the machine, because she DOESN’T know who’s calling her. If you call her with your number showing, she’s going to let it go to the machine because she DOES know who’s calling her… Or, to put it another way, she knows it’s not anybody calling whom she actually picks up the phone for.

All paths here lead to frustration. The only way around this is to realize that YOU’RE WACK and start on the road to self-improvement. Let’s look at what you can do to make yourself less loathsome to chicks. ๐Ÿ˜€

Improve your vocabulary. Go research the difference between “their” and “there”, and “your” and “you’re”. If this chick accidentally has a kid with you, she’s going to want the kid to be SMART, not STUPID.

Stop using primitive tactics to try to pull her. By using the same AMATEUR skillz that get you on with short-bus girls at the club, you’re demeaning the woman you’re kicking it to. She can’t believe that YOU believe you’re going to get on with such garbage. She feels low-rated and is less likely to give it up, so figure out how to step up your game, playah.

Stop trying to hide your kids. This is the United States of America. It’s very easy to find out that you have kids…. and a wife too, for that matter. Stop faking the funk. If you’re trying to get some on the side, “man up” about it. You might get turned down off the bat, but at least she respects you for not trying to get over.

If you’re *BITTER* about everything, KEEP. IT. TO. YOURSELF! ๐Ÿ˜€ Nobody’s interested in what you think you’re entitled to or how mad you are that you don’t have what the next man has. Suck it up, put a SMILE on your face, and show the chick a good time.

Go. To. The. Gym. You want to be in GOOD shape so that she’s HOPING you take your clothes off instead of DREADING the concept. ๐Ÿ™ You don’t want her to start singing the Fat Albert theme song when you emerge from the bathroom in your boxers.

If you’re NOT going to get in shape, at least DRESS WELL! Buy one of those hip-hop graffiti shirts so you look like a wall or an old-school subway car.

Watch black and white movies. Guys don’t know how to treat the ladies anymore. You have to watch old movies to receive the essence of male elegance and character.

And, the *most* important thing is to step to her “on the humble”. Do *NOT* act like you’re entitled to have her talk to you, text with you, email with you, video chat with you, dance with you, go home with you… NONE OF THAT. Just let her know you appreciate how she looks and you’d like to get to know more about her, then cross your fingers! ๐Ÿ˜€

DatingGenius