What It Means To Be A Triplane

So the question was something like “How do people get to know each other to the point that they want to get married?” or “What is it that glues y’all’s relationship together” or something to that effect…

A few evenings ago, The Kid was surrounded by love. πŸ™‚ By that, I mean that I attended an event where I was seated across from a charming couple that will be married next year, if July occurs (hehe.. inside joke), and seated next to a loving couple that have been married for several years, and are obviously enjoying sharing their lives together.. Which is the bottom line, ‘Cause Stone Cold Said So! >:D

So, of course, I was blathering on about my single-people’s dating tips, except this time, I stopped and changed the topic so I could learn something from obviously-successful couples…. I mean, so I can tell the information to you. I don’t personally need to become part of a successful couple. πŸ˜› Continue reading “What It Means To Be A Triplane”

Famous For Nothing [Fame, Part 3]

Two years ago, in May 2008, I wrote “Fame, Popularity & Star Power” and then “Fame (Part 2)” two weeks apart from each other. The main point was that I was trying to figure out how to articulate my thoughts about fame in order to respond to an opinion my friend Dave had expressed about why I do what I do.

I never actually figured out how to exactly articulate the difference between what I’ve done for basically my entire life and what a lot of people do now. Today.. Due to circumstances beyond my control, I ended up watching a video where someone interviewed Melyssa Ford. Continue reading “Famous For Nothing [Fame, Part 3]”

How Do You Make Money With Social Media?

Ultimately.. I get paid because I can do things other people can’t do. Period.

Bill CammackSo, The other day, I go to lunch with a friend of mine who isn’t into Social Media. I start showing him my personal fansite, my business site, Facebook, Twitter / TweetDeck, blip.tv, YouTube, Tumblr, Ustream, IRC, Skype, iChat, so then he goes:

“So how do you make money with all this stuff?”

So I laughed a little, because I knew I had a long, LONG explanation ahead of me. πŸ˜€

Special Case

Before I get started with this, I need to mention that I’m a special case. PART of what I’m about to say will be useful to someone else. Most of it’s only useful to me. Continue reading “How Do You Make Money With Social Media?”

Prevent Teen Pregnancy!

Today, May 06, 2009, is the eighth annual National Day to Prevent Teen Pregnancy. As the world-renowned DatingGenius (not to mention, the author of “How To Avoid Pregnancy” and “DonÒ€ℒt Try The Rhythm Method!”), I feel it’s my duty to inform you how to keep your kids out of the Teen Pregnancy zone.

Boredom -> Pregnancy

Teens are BORED. Teens have nothing to do with their time. GIVE your kids something to do, or they will FIND something to do. Enroll them in Karate or Piano Lessons or a Dance Company.

Make them play Football or Softball or SOMETHING! This way, they’re having fun, they’re spending their time learning things and achieving goals and hopefully, at the end of the day, they’ll be too tired from all that physical and mental exercise to have sex! πŸ˜€ Continue reading “Prevent Teen Pregnancy!”

The Fetishization of Lesbianism

I like lesbians. I mean, who cares? They’re still attractive chicks. That’s what matters! πŸ˜€ There’s no difference between hanging out with a lesbian that doesn’t want to give you some and hanging out with a non-lesbian that doesn’t want to give you some.

So I stumbled upon this Jezebel post, “The Double-Glazed Ceiling:” Is It Harder For Women To Come Out At Work?, and one of the commenters said that they felt that lesbianism is often fetishized.

I didn’t think much of that statement, but then, for some odd reason, I started thinking about WHY I didn’t think much of that statement. What I very quickly understood is that it’s part of my personal brainwashing that lesbians are a fetish.

Before you illiterates start protesting, πŸ˜€ I’m not saying lesbianISM is a fetish for the women involved in it. I’m saying that lesbiANS are a fetish to guys in general.

You can pretty much thank the porno industry for this brainwashing, but, IRL, the more hot chicks involved in something, the merrier. This is why you see SEVERAL booth-babes at car shows instead of just one. As a matter of fact, if you see ONE female at a car show booth, she’s usually in a suit, actually KNOWS about the cars and is an actual EMPLOYEE and REPRESENTATIVE of the company. When you hire booth-babes, OTOH, you have to get more than one, because guys like multiple chicks, regardless of what they tell their wives.

There’s also a biological reason for guys liking multiple chicks. If you have multiple kids with the same woman, they all have the same genetic makeup and carry the same benefits and flaws into the next generation. You’re gambling that your genes and hers create viable children that will thrive and succeed. If you have kids with multiple women, you mix it up, so there’s actually a better chance that one of your combinations will be better, smarter, stronger or faster than the others.

So anyway… Since we live in a society of Pair Bonders, guys can’t normally get their hands on multiple women. This is where the porno industry helps out… oh, and strip clubs.

I don’t really count strip clubs as of equal importance with porno as far as creating & maintaining the lesbian fetish. You can argue that in both instances, women are given money to do sexual acts. In the strip club, though, it’s clear that the women will do “whatever” for money… and, believe you me… I mean WHATEVER, hahaha, you’d actually be surprised what you can….. The point is that face to face (or face to, whatever) in the strip club, you’re completely aware that the ONLY reason this chick’s doing what she’s doing is because somebody handed her money. Before they handed her the money, she wasn’t doing JACK. Now that she’s been paid, she’s all over you. *YAWN*

Porno’s different, because at least they TRY to act. Porno attempts to be the fly on the wall, and you just happen to be there when several gals are hanging out together and decide to try out all these sex toys they just happen to have laying around. (Tip for the fellaz… If your woman says she’s going to a Tupperware party, I don’t even think they SELL Tupperware anymore, haha Get It? πŸ˜‰ )

So anyway, pornography bridges the gap between what guys were thinking already, and them actually seeing it with their eyes instead of making it up in their heads about the two chicks that are standing over by the water cooler in their skirt-suits. hahaha They don’t make these porno scenarios up out of nowhere. There’s not some “porno writers’ guild” that oversees production. Guys think up scenarios about chicks all day and all night, so the plotlines are obvious and plentiful. All you need is two attractive chicks… well, all you need is ONE attractive chick for guys to think about having sex with her, but for the purpose of this post, you need TWO to kick off the guy’s mental lesbian fantasy production.

I think this is partially why lesbianism is fetishized also, actually. Guys don’t care whether chicks are lesbians or not. They just want the gals to DO STUFF to each other. Now that I’m thinking about it, I don’t think I’ve ever asked a chick if she was a lesbian. πŸ™‚ Like I said at the beginning… who cares? It doesn’t make any difference. But I guess my point is that women are going to be perceived sexually and fantasized about REGARDLESS of what they claim to be into, so for a woman to state that she’s a lesbian, it’s like “oh. pass me a brew”.

Then again, I live in NYC, so we have tons of lesbians here. I would imagine that a woman declaring herself a lesbian to someone who lives in the sticks might actually raise an eyebrow, similar to people that are used to seeing brown-skinned people only on television finally seeing one with their own eyes.

On top of that… “IRL Girl on Girl action” became a fad at some point. I don’t know if there’s an official term for this charade, but if anybody knows, post it in the comments.

As we all know, women love attention. At some point, they figured out that if they kissed other girls at the bar, all of a sudden the attention they were getting skyrocketed… as did the drinks they were being bought and the offers they were receiving to hang out with the guys that were loving the show. Perhaps this was the natural evolution of the Coyote Ugly style of random girls from the crowd getting up and dancing on the bar. I did find it interesting how girls that were being basically ignored BEFORE dancing on the bar became hot property afterwards and received tons of compliments and accolades. I can see that being an addiction and gals wanting to know how they could create the same experience for themselves at bars that didn’t have that type of DiY entertainment.

Next thing you know, you’re hanging out and two chicks that were just standing around drinking beers or whatever start grinding on each other and then if they get a crowd, they start making out. It’s actually kind of funny. It’s like a free strip club. If the chicks were smart, they’d be getting paid to put on their shows. πŸ™‚ But their payment is attention from guys, compliments and free drinks, so that’s better than what they were getting before they started “akkin a fool”!

Actually, now that I’m thinking about it, THIS may be even more of a detriment to the situation than porno or actual strip clubs where you know what you can get chicks to do for money. You have so many chicks CRYING WOLF about being lesbians that they’re diluting the actual lesbian population. Those same chicks that grind on each other and make out in the bar hook up with guys on a regular basis. They’re not ACTUAL lesbians.

Similarly, lots of gals CLAIM that they’re lesbians as a defensive statement against guys trying to have sex with them (as if we cared or asked them if they were lesbians in the first place). And save the “maybe it’s *YOU* that they’re telling they’re lesbians to get rid of you!” hahaha I hear that all the time. πŸ˜€ Regardless, you see the problem here. Women are claiming that they don’t have sex with guys and then they turn around and have sex with guys, so these fakers and impostors add to the fetish because guys think they “converted” a lesbian when all they really did was have sex with a liar.

Yeah, this DEFINITELY makes matters worse, because the squeaky wheel gets the oil. All these chicks are parading around claiming lesbianism to get attention, so they’re really visible. Meanwhile, ACTUAL lesbians are invisible. Go ahead and ask someone how a lesbian acts. πŸ™‚ It’s like [blink… blink…]. There aren’t any characteristics. Unless you’re just a nosey person, you’re not going to know a chick’s a lesbian until you invite her to have sex with you.

What does a lesbian couple look like at the bar? That’s right. Two chicks standing around. So what?… Oh, look, she hugged her. So what? Women hug women all the time. Oh, look, she kissed her. So what? Women kiss women all the time. Women like to hold each other’s hands or arms walking down the street as well without being lesbians, so the women misrepresenting lesbianism (IRL fakers, porno girls and strip club chicks) add to the fetish and nothing subtracts from it. I won’t even go for the cheap stats I could rack up by naming celebrities that run that attention game while they think it’ll be good for their careers. You know who they are. Meanwhile, AFAIK, there are fewer lesbian characters in American television shows than there are Asians…….. Asians, PERIOD. Not Asian lesbians.

Like I said, I can’t imagine someone actually ASKING a chick if she’s a lesbian, so for the most part, I receive my information via a third party. My personal reaction is “Good! That means she knows more chicks! πŸ˜€ ” A lot of guys feel negatively about her declaration, because they feel like it’s an affront to their attractiveness or ability to get on… as if she would have given them some in the first place, had she been into guys. A lot of women, lesbian and non, hide their significant others on social media sites in order to avoid said negativity or so that their “taken” status doesn’t decrease their number of twitter followers or whatever. Of course, again, this skews the perception of existence of and interaction with lesbians in the favor of the squeaky wheels, who enjoy broadcasting their exploits on the internet (or anywhere else they possibly can).

So.. Yes… I definitely believe that lesbianism has been fetishized in American society (and probably everywhere else). Time will tell if that ever changes. I suppose I should bring this topic up next time I run into my lesbian friends…. um…. except I’ll probably be too busy trying to meet their girlfriends! πŸ˜€


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Conversion of “Cred”

For a couple of months, I billed myself as a “Social Media Expert”, which I am. πŸ˜€

I removed that title because in the grand scheme of things, it didn’t say anything specific or useful about me. It was mostly “Keeping up with the Joneses”. I would look at people billing themselves as SMEs and go “um… if THAT PERSON’S an expert, I’m FOR DAMNED SURE an expert!” hahahaha πŸ˜€

I stopped thinking about it a long time ago, but today, I read an interesting article by Jeremy Pepper, entitled “Taking Stock – Can Social Media Do What It Claims?” that’s briefly rekindled my interest in the topic. Amongst some other interesting things, Jeremy writes:

JP: … While people are glomming onto social media, there seems to be very little being done in the circular nature of the social media consultants.

You don’t hear/read about campaigns that are helping change the world. You don’t hear/read about campaigns that are being done with the large agencies or consultants that are trying to help make the world a better place.

You read social media people talking about social media … and that seems to be it. It’s the self-fulfilling prophecy of Valleywag’s 250. And, I have written about this before, and nothing much changes.”

Jeremy then goes on to name a few Echo Chamber Bigwigs and he gives some suggestions for useful things they might do with their massive numbers of followers on various social media sites.

As I looked at his list and what he was suggesting that these people do, I was reminded of my post from four months ago, entitled “Content / Production Value / Popularity”. As a content creator, I’ve been very interested in how people acquire followings and what they utilize their fan base for. By March 2008, when I wrote C/Pv/P it was clear to me “what’s going on around here”. πŸ˜€

And, yes…. This is getting back to the point of what this has to do with Jeremy’s post. πŸ˜€

What’s going on around here is that people are trying to sell stuff. Period. There are two ways to do this, but they end up at the same destination. The first way is to create content that people like and enjoy and pass on to their friends, who then become viewers and hopefully PASSIONATE viewers and carry the flag for you to their towns, cities and countries all over the world. If you look at the videos from when DiggNation came to NYC and there were lines all up, down and around the block of nothing but excited FANS, FANS, and more FANS, that’s a prime example.

The other way to “sell stuff” is to base your show or site around someone that comes with a pre-fab fan base. If you don’t understand this, it’s often confusing when you see people with LESS TALENT brought on board when there are people with obviously WAY MORE TALENT available for the project. For instance, let’s say someone’s a way better musician/producer than I am, but they don’t have any social media props. If you put the two of us up for the same project (read “selling stuff” inside the Echo Chamber), you can either HOPE that people will like his/her music, and it will catch on, OR you can go with what you know, which is that I currently have 993 Twitter followers, 734 Facebook “friends”, 636 Myspace friends, etc, etc, and Google loves to Nom Nom on everything that I do, so you can find me at the top of the search results for Bill (#5 of 388,000,000), NYC dating (#7 of 309,000), video editor resume (#2 of 802,000) and Emmy Award Editor (#1 for my resume and #2 for my Indy Mogul episode, out of 612,000 English pages).

So when you look at it for what it is, what counts inside the Echo Chamber (aka the Fishbowl) is “reach”, or perhaps how much of a built-in marketing machine the person brings to the table and *NOT*…. I repeat… *NOT* their ability to make anything that remotely resembles a professionally produced or edited video. You do NOT have to have ANY talent as an on-air personality… you have to have a fan base. You do NOT have to have a track record of well-done videos… you have to have a fan base. You do NOT have to look good COUGHunlessyou’reafemaleCOUGH… you have to have a fan base.

This is one of the reasons the term “famous for nothing” is tossed around so much. If you ask “do you know XYZ?” or “have you heard of XYZ”, the answer will be “yes”. If you ask what that person does, you’ll see perplexed facial expressions and the scratching of heads. πŸ˜€ Basically, these people are popular NOW, and unless you were around back in the day when they initially developed their fan base, you can’t figure out WHY anybody would care what they said about ANYTHING outside of whatever their ultra-narrow niche of expertise is…. whatever that might be. This leads me to my point about Jeremy’s article

There is a difference between the ability to attract attention and the ability to influence those whose attention you’ve attracted.

Lindsey Chen and I dropped a post two days ago, and two hours after I pressed “publish”, the visitor map for that one article looked like this:

Lindz & Bill 2 hours in - July 30, 2008

Map for Top 10 Mistakes Guys Make When Trying To Get A Girl

What this means is that we wrote something that people were interested in reading.
What this does NOT mean is that we have any influence over anyone who read it.

Is it POSSIBLE that people might listen to what we have to say on topics other than dating? Yes. However, the fact that we have X amount of “eyeballs” doesn’t necessarily translate to the ability to mobilize ANY of those people in the direction of a cause. This is what makes it seem like social media is full of hot air. πŸ˜€

What we’re developing is “cred”. The important question is “what area/field are we developing ‘cred’ IN?” If you’re famous for asking people questions, why should anyone care what YOU have to say? If you’re famous for being attractive… why should anyone care what YOU have to say? If you’re famous because your parents are famous? If you’re famous because you did a cool video one time? If you’re famous because you have a lot of subscribers or video views on YouTube?

Who cares?

That’s what happens when people aren’t following you for YOU, and they’re following you because of what they’re getting out of following you. If you get advance information about gadgets, people are going to follow you… Not because they LIKE you, but because THEY want to find out what YOU found out. If you made a bunch of money and sold a startup, that’s great for you! πŸ˜€ and congrats!… but people are going to follow you to see if THEY can learn what YOU learned and do the same thing YOU did. It doesn’t mean they like you or care what you have to say. I’m sure that most people that hit my site for dating advice don’t even read the poster’s name, or if they read it, even remember it. πŸ™‚

Having said that… Along the lines of Jeremy’s question and request: “show that social media can change the world”, I do remember a situation where Chris Brogan rallied people to support Amanda Gravel in an event she put on to support someone. I’ve also seen musicians publicized and supported via social media. Very recently, Whitney Hess wrote a heartfelt post about someone she knew who died. Jay & Ryanne have traveled to REMOTE PARTS OF THE WORLD to teach people who never would have found out about it about blogging, internet connectivity and videoblogging.

So.. I’m not saying it’s impossible. It’s definitely worth a try to utilize social media for something other than publicizing ourselves, πŸ™‚ However, the “cred” necessary for becoming known as an authority that people can look up to to point out worthwhile causes is NOT being built up through demonstrating one’s proficiency at Public Relations. You can talk about business and social media ALL DAY, and if you turn around and don’t pay people WHAT YOU OWE THEM and ON TIME, your “cred” is ZERO. You can get interviews with “important people” ALL DAY, and if the word in the street is that you treat your fans and followers like garbage, your “cred” is ZERO. You can sell as many businesses as you want, and if nothing you have to say RIGHT NOW is original, current and relevant… your “cred” is ZERO.

So, if you’re looking for people to announce when they finally make an iPhone with the camera on the correct side so we can do video iChat with it, you’ve come to the right place. If you’re looking for people that can tell you what tools and sites to use to enhance the productivity of your company… you’ve come to the right place. If you’re looking for what Jeremy calls “a higher value to social media, where we can make people’s lives better and really rally people to help others”, I’m sure there are people that are using social media for exactly that purpose, like maybe Roxanne Darling, but for the most part… “Ain’t that type of party”.