Team Selection [Hunters, Part 12]
I touched on this briefly in “Wingman Responsibilities [Hunters, Part 01]“, but if you’re putting together a crew of dudes to pull chicks or even just working with one other guy, Team Selection is CRITICAL.
Sometimes, the reason you don’t get on is that you doomed yourself from the beginning by selecting the wrong team for the job.
Everybody’s not effective in all situations.
Just like Mission: Impossible, you have to figure out where you’re going, what the atmosphere is, what kind of women go there, which of your wingmen are effective with that particular demographic, and then who amongst that subset of your cronies is most likely to add value to the situation and least likely to fumble.
Read the rest of this entry »
Looking Desperate
A reader recently asked me a question about looking desperate. It was the basic situation of not wanting to overdo it or under-do it when contacting someone you want to kick it to.
If you contact them too much, you look desperate. If you contact them too little, you look disinterested. If you look disinterested, they might turn off to you. If you look desperate, they might think you’re a Herb or a psycho stalker. Read the rest of this entry »
Prevent Teen Pregnancy!
Today, May 06, 2009, is the eighth annual National Day to Prevent Teen Pregnancy. As the world-renowned DatingGenius (not to mention, the author of “How To Avoid Pregnancy” and “Don’t Try The Rhythm Method!”), I feel it’s my duty to inform you how to keep your kids out of the Teen Pregnancy zone.
Boredom -> Pregnancy
Teens are BORED. Teens have nothing to do with their time. GIVE your kids something to do, or they will FIND something to do. Enroll them in Karate or Piano Lessons or a Dance Company.
Make them play Football or Softball or SOMETHING! This way, they’re having fun, they’re spending their time learning things and achieving goals and hopefully, at the end of the day, they’ll be too tired from all that physical and mental exercise to have sex! :D Read the rest of this entry »
How to NOT let your girl stress you out
There’s been a lot of talk this week about what a guy should and shouldn’t do when his girl acts up. The majority of people who chimed in said “A man should *never* hit a woman”. Fewer people remarked “If she raises her hands like a man, she should be prepared to get dealt with like a man”. The way I see it… If you even have to THINK about fighting with your “significant other”, you’re dating the wrong person.
Here are my top 5 tips on how to NOT let your girl stress you out:
1) Get more girls
Did you ever notice that every time we hear about some kind of male vs. female violence, it’s always some dude that only has ONE chick? Think about that. When was the last time you heard of a guy that had multiple girlfriends getting into something physical with one of them? Never.
That’s because that guy has CHOICE. He has OPTIONS. If one chick’s trippin’ out, you just don’t talk to her until she gets her mind right. Case closed. *wiping hands* If she doesn’t get her mind right… Who cares? You’re still living the life you want to live, except SHE’S not involved in it.
Guys with one chick can’t afford this “I don’t need her, I’ll let the welfare feed her” mental state. When you remove a gal from the roster, it makes a huge difference whether you’re going from 4 girlfriends to 3 or from 1 girlfriend to 0. Zero Women is a state or condition that you want to avoid at all costs. Women come in handy from time to time, and it’s extremely stressful when you’re like “D-OH! Don’t Got None!”. Read the rest of this entry »
Tips for Chris Brown
First of all, nobody knows what happened (if anything) the other day between Chris Brown & Rihanna. You know how the internet works… Somebody says something and somebody else believes it and reports it as truth then somebody else exaggerates the first “truth” and you end up with all this garbage.
Here’s some of what the Associated Press (AP) reported yesterday:
John Rogers: LOS ANGELES (AP) — Chris Brown, who was arrested a week ago in connection with a domestic violence investigation, said Sunday he is “sorry and saddened” by what happened and is seeking counseling from his pastor and loved ones.
The 19-year-old R&B singer also said much of what has been reported of the incident is untrue, although he did not elaborate.
“Words cannot begin to express how sorry and saddened I am over what transpired. I am seeking the counseling of my pastor, my mother and other loved ones and I am committed, with God’s help, to emerging a better person,” Brown said in a statement issued through publicist Michael Sitrick.
“Much of what has been speculated or reported on blogs and-or reported in the media is wrong,” he added. But he said he couldn’t discuss that in detail until his case is resolved.
Brown surrendered to Los Angeles police on Feb. 8 and was released on $50,000 bail after being booked for investigation of making a criminal threat, a felony. He has not been charged by the district attorney’s office, which is still investigating the case.
His arrest reportedly stemmed from an argument with his girlfriend, fellow singer Rihanna, shortly after they left a pre-Grammy Awards party.
Now.. Other than that, there are a lot of rumors floating around. There’s a lot of SPECULATION about what started the argument, what happened during the argument, what was said during the argument and even what had occurred between them BEFORE that day, as far as physical altercations, none of which appear to stem from actual eye-witness accounts.
So let’s take a few of these rumored situations and discuss ways to deal with them… But first….
Where to start a fight
In case you don’t know what a Lamborghini is, this is what it looks like. It basically looks like a race car that belongs on the track or on television, except it’s rolling down the street like a pink elephant.
I don’t believe there has been one time, EVAR, that I have been in the presence of a Lamborghini and not looked at it until it was ALL THE WAY out of my line of sight. Never.
The point being… If you DID decide to kick someone’s ass and you intend to get away with it, inside a pink elephant with windows is NOT the place to do it. Even if you escape the scene, the witnesses are going to say “Well… I didn’t catch a glimpse of who it was…… but he drove off in a LAMBORGHINI.
On top of that, if you rented the car, you have to RETURN IT, and trust me, if rental places check for damage you caused in a U-Haul (which I know about), they’ll check for damage you caused IN A LAMBORGHINI (which I know nothing about).
ok.. On with the rumors: Read the rest of this entry »
How to avoid having sex with your BUSTED girlfriend
ok… Let’s say you’re the type of guy that has no control over his woman, and you let her get out of shape… THEN… Let’s say you’re also the type of guy that isn’t willing to dump her for insubordination. Now, you have a problem… She’s too busted to have sex with. You’re just not interested… Actually, it’s worse than that, you ARE interested in sex, until you see HER! :D
So you’re stuck between the proverbial rock and the hard place… no pun intended… You still have to hang out with this chick, but you’re dreading her tryinna press up on you and get some. What to do??? Follow The Kid‘s top 5 tips for avoiding having sex with your busted girlfriend:
1) Man The #*$& UP!
That’s right. MAN.UP. Let her know what TIME it is. She’s busted, you’re not interested, and she’s not “gettin’ none” until she shapes up or ships the #*$& out.
This is YOUR problem, not hers. She’s COOL with how she looks! ‘Matter of fact, she’s probably wondering what’s wrong with YOU that you don’t want to hit it anymore. Do yourself a favor and break it down to her. Honesty’s the best policy, right? :D Aren’t women always clamoring for “the truth”? Well, let her HAVE IT!
Actually, this technique works regardless of her reaction. If she listens to you, she goes back to the gym and gets back in #*$&able shape. If she doesn’t like what you said, she gets mad at you, and you know what that means… SEX EMBARGO!!!
Problem solved.
2) Come home tired
While it’s clear that sex is a basic male need, it’s technically trumped by a couple of things… such as drinking water and SLEEPING. If you just can’t bring yourself to let her know that looking at her body’s “ruining your buzz”, make sure you only come home when you’ve already been awake for at least 18 hours. This will help you pull off authentic and convincing yawns, and hopefully, you’ll actually be asleep before she gets to take her clothes off.
3) Keep the lights on
It’s a commonly-known and oft-used trick between busted females to turn the lights off when they want to have sex with you. Obviously, this helps you to forget what she looks like and imagine that you’re about to have sex with an attractive chick. This is almost as effective as the “look at a porno mag over her shoulder” technique. Depending on how good your memory is and how many hot women you saw on your way to and from work today, you might just go ahead and tap that… since it’s there.
In order to avoid this, keep the lights on at all times, to ensure “technical difficulties”.
4) Come home satisfied
Stop of at an attractive chick’s house on the way home from work so you can have sex you actually ENJOY! :D This will help you put the so-called sex you’re having with your busted girl into proper mental perspective as well as make you more tired (#2), more likely to MAN UP (#1), and less likely to fall for the okey-doke when she reaches for that light switch (#3). :D
5) Come home exhausted
Do what you have to do to walk in the door physically exhausted. Hit the gym for a couple of hours every day after work. Leave your car in the driveway and jog all the way to and from work. Take a second job mowing people’s lawns. Do anything you can do so it’s clear that you can’t do anymore strenuous physical activity that day (read: EVERY day).
Warning: This one might backfire on you if she likes “Woman On Top”. :(
~Bill
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