Bill Cammack

Fellaz!!!

Make sure you play your environments to your strengths. Use the effects of Light & Magic to your best advantage when you’re out kickin’ game to the chickadees! :D

I went to watch the Queens of Pain demolish the Brooklyn Bombshells in Roller Derby the other day. So after the game, there was an after-party. The first thing I noticed was that I could hear the music VERY CLEARLY from outside of the bar. :/ When I walked inside, the first thing I noticed…….. was NOTHING! It was so dark in there that my eyes needed to adjust, and it was ALREADY NIGHT-TIME before I walked in the bar! :/

Needless to say, every step I took, the music got LOUDER and the bar got DARKER! :D On top of that, they had invited a whole gymnasium’s worth of people to a little storefront bar with a bunch of tables in it, so we were packed in there like sardines! :/

Now… depending on who you are, each one of these elements is either a good thing or a bad thing. :D It’s up to YOU to figure out how to play the room to your personal strengths… and lacks thereof! hehehe.

Darkness – If you are a good-looking guy, avoid the darkness like the plague! Find as much light as you can, and park yourself under it! :D In the dark, you lose your natural advantage over the next guy, so he’s just as likely to get a rap as you are….. no good. :( You want to make sure the ladies can SEE YOU. Also… you want to make ABSOLUTELY SURE that *YOU* can see *THEM*!!! :O

Busted chicks are experts in remaining in the darkness and seated at tables or surrounded by girlfriends or wearing non-reflective clothing that cloaks their actual physique like a Romulan. By the time your eyes adjust to the darkness, you’ve already drank too many beers to care what she looks like…. and then you’ve fallen into her TRAP!!! :O This is another reason you want to stay in the light. When your boy falls for the okey-doke, he has to bring the girl into the light to tell you he’s breaking out. That’s your chance to see what she really looks like and hopefully talk your boy out of it! :D …… Because YOU KNOW he’s going to call you the next day asking “Yo… HOW did you let me go home with HER? :(” as if it’s YOUR fault that he didn’t stay in the light!

However……..

If you’re NOT a good-looking guy… Darkness Is Your Friend! :D

Find about the darkest section of the establishment, hopefully right near the bar where the chicks need to come to get their refills. Keep your eyes open for favorable signals, such as her stumbling towards the bar or having a very hard time counting how many singles she has in her hand. :) While she’s waiting to get the bartender’s attention… which she’ll have a tough time doing, since you pre-selected the darkest section of the bar… Strike up a friendly conversation. You’ll get extra points for talking to her because she knows full well that you can’t actually *SEE* her, so you *can’t* be after her for her looks.

Now… Hurry up and kick your game before someone yells “LAST CALL!!!” and turns on the lights!!! :O

DatingGenius

Living in New York City has tons of privileges. One of those is that you can ALWAYS get a cab! :D

It’s not like the sticks, where you have to call for a cab or else you never get to leave where you are. :/ Also, you can go to a bar and drink your ass off, then stumble to the subway, a bus or a cab and arrive safely at your apartment… Whereas if you live in the sticks, that means you DROVE to the bar, and you might need to park in the Dairy Queen parking lot and sleep it off before you get on the road….. IF you can get on the road at all because maybe your car has one of those breathalyzer joints where it won’t start if you’re over the limit, hahahaha :D

Anyway…

Cabs are a tremendous luxury and you have to make sure that your cab game is tight. If you successfully avoided sitting on couches, you came off with a fine young lady from the party, bar or club. :D Now… I know what your cheap ass is thinking… “I’ll take her on the bus, so that way, I only spend $4 for the both of us to get back to the crib… um… unless SHE has a metrocard, too, then it’s only $2 to get her home! :D”

ok… ok……….. So that’s what *I* was thinking. :/

Anyway… Don’t take her on the bus. No. No good. :( Spend the extra ducats to get your cab game on.

If you take her on the bus or the train, you’re still in public. Tons of people around. If you take her in a cab, it’s just you and her. I mean, yeah, the cabbie’s there, but he needs to concentrate on the road and making sure he turns on your street. :) Never mind him. Think of the cabbie as your personal chauffeur, “Jeeves”. It’s his job to drive and mind.his.own.business. It’s just you and her in the back of the cab. Also… if you can’t see HIM in the rear-view mirror… HE can’t see YOU… Capicse? :D

If you take her on the bus or train, it’s all LIT UP and ish… Once you close the door to the cab and that little light goes out, it’s darkness, like Eddie Murphy and his brother in Hollywood! :D Much more mood-enhancing. Add that to the isolation and the fact that you basically have your own couch instead of sitting on a hard train bench crushed up between a couple of people that didn’t understand they weren’t slim enough to fit in that space between you and the next person… and cabs are WELL WORTH the extra ducats! :D

So… Now that you’re in the cab, you need some basic tactics. >:)

The most important style is the “Richie Cunningham”. If you don’t know who that is, go back and watch reruns of “Happy Days”. Now… Richie was pretty much a scrub, so he was scared to press up on girls he was interested in. Because of this, he had certain tactics he would use so that he could play it off if she didn’t go for it. So, To do the “Richie Cunningham”, you’re sitting next to her on your chauffeured couch in the darkness with only the Manhattan street lights shining down on you, and you start faking like you’re tired. Yawn once or twice. Look at your watch or the clock on your phone or whatever so that she sees you’re feeling tired.

Put the phone away, then give a large !!!YAWN!!! while stretchng both arms out to the side. Make sure your arm on her side ends up BEHIND her neck instead of IN FRONT OF her face! :/ As you relax your hands from the yawn, your arm will naturally land… LIGHTLY!!! on her shoulder with your hand on the other side of her. Act surprised :O that your hand didn’t come all the way down, and look at her like “OH!… Sorry ’bout that!” and pay attention to what her face looks like. It’s either going to look like :D , :/ or :O .

:O = “GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME, CREEP!!!”, in which case it’s a good thing that you did the “Richie Cunningham” because now you can act like it was an honest mistake and remove your arm, ASAP! :D

:/ = The female version of the “Richie Cunningham”, which is her playing it off like she didn’t notice that you just put your arm around her. This is a good thing, because SHE DEFINITELY NOTICED. The continuation of this version of the Richie is to look her in the eye and smile at her, and she should smile back at you, happy that you like her. :)

:D = Her laughing at you because you were so timid and intimidated by her that you felt you needed to resort to the internationally-known “Richie Cunningham” so that you would have a back-door to exit if she didn’t like you! HAHAHAHA awwwwwwwww. :D This is STILL a good thing, because she’s happy that you finally let her know you were interested in her, even though she now thinks you’re scared of her, and it’s going to take you a long time to live that down and regain your pimpin’ status! :D

–
DatingGenius

Today’s the day before the Puerto Rican Day parade, so there’s a large festival going on in Spanish Harlem. In honor of this CHERISHED event! :D we will discuss taking sand to the beach.

Now… Let’s consider the festival like a beach. A beach has lots of SAND on it…. IN it? a beach is made up of sand? a collection of sand is called a beach???? :/

Anyway…

A beach has lots of SAND… In the case of this festival, that sand would be GIRLS! :D Hundreds and Hundreds, and perhaps even Thousands! :D

So now we have our foundation for “the phrase that pays”…..

Don’t.Take.Sand.To.The.Beach! :D

That’s right. Do *NOT* take SAND to the beach. Do *NOT* take your girlfriend with you to places where there are going to be A) more girls, and B) more girls better looking than your girlfriend. Do not do it. :/ Don’t do it.

First of all, you will be distracted. She will feel how ‘distant’ you are, when you’re normally paying attention to her. No good. :/ I mean… it’s good that you’re distracted, but it’s BAD to let her experience your reaction to other chicks. For some reason, women like to feel that you’re solely physically attracted to *them*, so it’s best to maintain that illusion for them. :)

Second of all, you will be frustrated. You won’t be able to give out that cell number or website URL, because women are looking even when they’re not looking. :/ Going “Was that a rabbit?” and pointing away from the girl you want to meet and having your girlfriend completely miss the transaction only happens in the movies… BAD movies at that.

Third, you won’t be able to talk with the fellaz like you normally do. Your boys will DITCH YOU so they can check out ass without ruining your relationship. It’s really funny to watch that look on a guy’s face when he sees the fellaz see him walking towards them, holding hands with some chick, looking like he’s on his way to a church picnic. You feel this kind of… well, it’s not sympathy, because it’s all his fault! :D I guess it’s kind of like that baseball story about “Casey up to bat” where the guy’s in the important game and strikes out. “No joy in Mudville” HAHAHAHAHAHA :D It’s like your boy made it ALL THE WAY to the festival, but now he can’t enjoy it! :D

Here’s how to NOT take sand to the beach….

Act like you’re not going. Tell her you have to work or you have to help your cousin move to a new apartment. If you don’t live with her, tell her you’re not feeling well and you’re about to shut the phone off and sleep for a few hours. Tell her you’re going to do something she hates to do (maybe bowling) and you’ll call her later. Tell her you’ll meet her for brunch waaaaaaaay on the other end of Manhattan island, like in SoHo or even better, in a completely different boro.

WHATEVER YOU DO… Do NOT let her come to “the beach” with you…. Actually, now that I think about it, this applies to the actual beach as well! :D Don’t take your girlfriend to the beach. You’ll be soooorrryyyyy! Sprinkle some sand on your balcony and let her lay out there. Get one of those hot-dog-vendor umbrellas. Put the television on the Travel Channel.

Also… Make sure you ascertain her whereabouts BEFORE going to the festival. This will COMPLETELY BACKFIRE on you if she shows up to the festival on her own! :O

First of all, she’s going to see YOU before YOU see HER, because she’s going to be one out of a million girls you’re checking out. Actually, you’ll be lucky if you see her at all, because the odds are that there are at least ten better looking girls than her in your line of sight at any given time. It’s like asking the colorblind guy to pick out the girl in the red dress.

Second, she’s going to see the way you act when she’s not around! HAHAHAHA Nooooo Good! :/

So do what you have to do. Buy her a ticket to an afternoon play. Send her to get her hair done in like… Hoboken. Do what you can to avoid taking sand to the beach, and ESPECIALLY having sand show up to the beach on her own.

–
DatingGenius

Yes sir, fellas…. your girlfriend/wife/whatever is right. She’s correct. No doubt…

……

…….. :/

….. “She’s right about WHAT?” you ask? …..

EVERYTHING!!! :D

That’s right! The key to YOUR happiness is that your girlfriend IS RIGHT! “She’s right” makes her feel good and then she makes YOU feel good, dig? :D If she’s WRONG… then she feels BAD and then she makes YOU FEEL BAD!!! :(

So… If you’re driving to the mall, and you know full well that you need to make a left, :) and she tells you to make a right… what are you going to do???

That’s right! You’re going to make a right! :D And you’re going to drive and drive and drive until you arrive @ the mall purely by luck or until she admits ON HER OWN that she doesn’t know where in the world you are right now and “lets” you figure out how to get where you’re going. Yes. That’s the ticket! :) Even if the mall’s one block away and obscured by trees… do NOT go “Nah, you’re buggin’. The mall’s to the left right behind those trees. See that water tower?”. Nope. Don’t do it. It’s not worth it! :D

If you do that, yes, you arrive at the mall approximately one hour earlier than you would have if you follow her incorrect directions. You also save gas money! :D However, that hour’s a waste of your time (or worse), because now she’s upset. :(

The moral of the story is that it’s better to drive needlessly in circles with a happy girlfriend than to hang out at the mall with an unhappy girlfriend.

Oh…. If you’d like to avoid both her getting upset AND driving in circles, do this:

When she says for you to make a right, drive up to the intersection and SUDDENLY WHIP A LEFT!!! Immediately act like nothing’s out of the ordinary. This makes her think that YOU made a mistake. When she says “I said ‘right’, not ‘left’! :/” point to your right and say “oh… THAT right?” and pretend to be lost and trying to get back to where she suggested you go until you “accidentally” end up @ the mall.

The moral of the story is that it’s better for your girlfriend to be happy, believing that YOU’RE an idiot… than it is for her to be upset that you pointed out that she doesn’t know how to get to the mall. :D

Take one for the team!!! :D

girlfriend+happy > girlfriend+upset

DatingGenius

In “Beach Walk #175 – People talkin’? Who cares!”, we get to hear about someone so caught up in her own idea of what’s important in life that she tries to project this onto someone else. She’s so busy thinking about what SHE perceives to be the right way to live life that she totally ignores what the leader told the new paddler and gives contradictory instructions.

First of all, she’s not authorized to tell the new paddler what to do. Nobody put her in charge. The leader was IN THE BOAT, giving the orders, so there was no “lack of leadership”.

When asked why she said what she said, her reply was that if the new paddler stopped paddling, the other paddlers would talk about her behind her back, to the effect of “I can’t believe she stopped paddling! :O”. Now we have a reference point to weigh the values of this advice being given. On the one hand, the paddler could keep paddling, though she feels that her body needs a break, and she could avoid being gossiped about over lunch. OTOH, she could stop paddling, NOT risk her physical health, and perhaps be talked about behind her back by people that probably wouldn’t say anything to her face in the first place. If the tree falls in the woods… and you’re in the city, you don’t hear the sound… so… if people are going to gossip behind your back…..

WHO CARES?

What difference does it make? None, because you never hear about it, so, effectively, it doesn’t exist to you. Let’s say you actually hear about this gossip or they tell you to your face that they think less of you as a paddler because you didn’t keep paddling…..

WHO CARES?

What difference does it make? Do they pay your bills? Do they decide whether you get to come out paddling tomorrow morning? :D Do they decide where you sit in the boat?

The ‘advice-giver’ was saying more about herself than she was about the new paddler. She was letting people know what fantasies dictate her actions in life. She won’t do something if she perceives that she might be talked about for it. She won’t do something if she thinks she’ll “look bad”, even perhaps at the cost of her own physical health. That has nothing to do with the new paddler at all. ALSO, the ‘advice-giver’ informs us that she’s willing to attempt to override statements of the person in charge to forward the agenda of her own personal brainwashing. “Don’t do what the leader said, because we’ll talk about you”. What’s that?

Unfortunately, peer pressure is an incredible influence. Without the proper grounding, the new paddler might think the advice is good for her to follow, without having the ability to actually assess it properly, according to what SHE thinks is important in life. Often, people come into a new situation or it could even be a situation they’ve been in for a long time and they don’t have concrete ideas about what’s good for them and what isn’t. Those people are often susceptible to accepting and adapting other people’s ideas. Just because that way of being works for one person doesn’t mean it works for YOU. A lot of people have taken the wrong path following suggestions from people with their own personal agendas.

How about if the advice-giver channeled her energy into STOPPING the other paddlers from talking behind the new paddler’s back? How about THAT? How about praising the new paddler for being a part of keeping their heavier, 5-man boat alongside the lighter 6-man boat? How about THAT? How about if she focuses on what she can do that’s positive instead of “helping the new paddler avoid the negative”… the negative that she’s DEFINITELY going to be a part of if the newjack doesn’t take her advice and get back to work.

Rox says “gossip’s never killed anyone”. While that’s not actually true, :D I see her point. It’s not the ACTUAL gossip that has ever killed anyone. OTOH, people HAVE died from pushing their bodies past limits that they feel they have approached.

What’s it worth to you? What’s it worth to keep people from talking about you? Your health? Your money? Your family? Who ARE these people, anyway?

Who cares?

An interesting difference between doing your own videos for fun & entertainment and creating video for broadcast is that you are forced to become generic. Instead of being able to use anything you want and do anything you want with it, there are many things to be avoided in the production of a video. As a content producer, you have to think about what you might want to do with your work down the line during even the pre-production phase of creating your video.

Let’s say you do a personal interview with someone, and you like how it came out. You can do whatever you want with it, personally, but then, if you want to offer your interview to another group, they might require releases (written documents stating that the subjects in the video gave you permission to use your video of them) from everyone in the video, or they won’t accept it for their production. Even if you have releases for the subjects, you might have done it inside a restaurant, and THAT needs to be ‘cleared’.

You might use your favorite song in a video, but if you want to include that video in a broadcast, you’ll need to re-work it with music that’s cleared for use under certain circumstances (see Creative Commons), like from podsafe music network or IODA. Strangely enough, even music that comes on the radio or that someone walks by could present an issue. These things have to be considered when you’re doing a video that depends on the audio as well as the video. If someone’s saying something important while this uncleared music passes through the scene, there might be no way around it, since re-tracking the person’s dialogue means that you not only cut out the music, but all the other background sounds that make the video sound uniform.

Does this make sense? Yes. :D People work hard on their music or whatever and put their own energy and creativity into it, so they should definitely have rights to determine how their productions are used. There’s an interesting Creative Commons license that allows you to use the work as long as you attribute credit to the creator of the original work somewhere in your video, you don’t use it in a commercial work, and the work that you do that’s derived from their work is also licensed under the same CC license. It’s called CC BY-NC-SA (attribution, non-commercial, share alike). This is interesting because it creates a stream of ‘cleared’ work for people making similar videos to use.

There’s also the internet archive, where there are lots of videos and songs labeled “no rights reserved” that you can use in any way you want, and a lot of Creative Commons videos as well.

What’s “unfair” about this system (not to the creators of the work, but unfair to media creators looking for music or video to enhance their projects) is that money talks. :D If you work for a production company, or you do your own productions, you are subject to the same fees to license “real” music as the networks are. Let’s say you wanted to do a video about something and a network wanted to do the same piece. Even if your footage is better, content-wise, and your written dialogue is better, and your editing is better and your shot selection is better….. your video will have YOU playing your guitar over your drum machine, sounding like folk music from the country :/ while the network blasts “Keep On Rockin’ In The Free World” by Neil Young. Your piece IS better, but theirs SOUNDS better, so they have an emotional advantage in the effect their video has on the viewers.

Same thing if you’re a documentary maker. MTV plays music all day and all night on several channels, internationally. If you watch one of their docs, they’re FILLED… I mean *FILLED* with the latest music from the hottest artists at the time. MTV’s in the country, you hear the latest country music. They’re in the city, you hear the latest Hip-Hop. They’re in India, you hear the best mood-inducing Indian music. This is because A) MTV has the money to purchase the rights to whatever songs they want, and B) everybody wants their songs to be ON MTV so they can get publicity = more fame and sales. Nobody wants to be in YOUR PODCAST that 30 people download on a weekly basis! :D So… YOUR video or film or what-have-you is going to sound like what’s really going on… you got the music you could afford to use.

I think podsafe music network and IODA are providing a great service on both sides of this situation. They’re allowing video producers to use music with high production values, as long as the producer complies with the stipulations of the licenses. If your budget is ZERO, or even less than zero… you can still get a fantastic background track for your non-commercial work. For the musicians, they benefit because their music’s being heard by people that otherwise wouldn’t have looked them up on the internet. They’re being heard without having to be ‘hot’ enough to get into rotation on MTV. Also… you never know when a video that someone does might become REEEEEEALLY popular, and then the musicians get to ride the wave. :D

~Bill C.~

http://ReelSolid.TV