Compliment Her Eyes

As horrible as Oxygen Channel’s “Bad Girls Club” was, I still watched it because it was a T&A-fest.
Bad Girls Club

Now, they’ve spun the series off into this lame Flavor-Flav ripoff called “Love Games”, where they have three chicks that ~20 guys are trying to hook up with. As retarded as that premise is, it’s STILL not as useless as putting eight chicks in a house so they can drink alcohol, get undressed most of the time, bitch at each other and then go clubbing together and rub up on each other as if they’re supposed to be lesbians with no storyline and no criteria for ejection from the show. I swear I don’t know how these shows get funded. :/ Continue reading “Compliment Her Eyes”

How To Dress Your Girlfriend

I had an interesting conversation last night with a few of the ladies @ this party I went to. It jumped off, because one of them said she should hire a stylist (which is going to be The Kid’s new venture, right after I finish writing this post). Unfortunately for her, she had mentioned earlier in conversation that she had a boyfriend. So I immediately replied:

“Your boyfriend’s supposed to be your stylist.”

She immediately dropped back into this “what’chu talkin’ ’bout, Willis?” pose and was looking at me with this funny expression, so I was like AWWWWW HEEEEERE WE *GO*!!! πŸ˜€

Her general position was that guys can’t dress girls. I was like “of course they can, because we know what looks good on you and what doesn’t”, to which she replied:

“Men know what looks good on women, but they don’t know WHY it looks good.”

So I stood there for a few seconds, waiting for her to say something that made sense.

…….

That didn’t happen. πŸ™‚

Here’s the problem with her statement… Looking good is not OBjective, it’s SUBjective. You feel a certain way when you see something that looks good. A painting, a chick, architecture, whatever. Also, what looks good to one person doesn’t necessarily look good to someone else. So… The fact THAT something looks good is way more important than the reason WHY it looks good.


Stephanie Frasco & Bill Cammack

I’m sure you could ask a guy WHY some article of clothing looks good on a chick. You probably won’t get a response for a while, because auxiliary power has been switched to 1) looking, 2) thinking about what he’s looking at and 3) continuing to stand up straight instead of falling over. After that, he may or may not be able to give you a technical description of WHY that item looks good on her, but the fact remains that “WHY” doesn’t matter. All that matters is that he receives the proper physical stimulus from checking her out. πŸ™‚

So anyway, I tried to inform her that she didn’t know what she was talking about. I think the next thing I asked was:

“So your man doesn’t buy clothes for you?”

Same “what’chu talkin’ ’bout, Willis?” pose + weirdo stare. πŸ™‚ That’s when The Kid realized he wasn’t going to get anywhere with this as a one-on-one conversation and opened the floor to some nearby females. At least there was a range of responses. One said that her man bought clothes for her, but then equated that to him being domineering and posessive. Another one agreed with the first one, that men can’t buy clothes for women. A third one said that she had been with a guy who would buy her clothes sporadically. Needless to say, this had ZERO effect on the original gal’s perspective, which is why, as of today, I am now a personal shopper…. or shopping assistant….. or whatever the title is of people that get paid to tell people what to wear, hahaha πŸ˜€

As my first oficial act of … hmm. I guess this makes me ShoppingGenius! πŸ˜€

As my first official act as ShoppingGenius, I will now inform the fellaz on how to dress your girlfriends…..

First of all, the most important thing is knowing how SHE likes to dress in the first place. This is important because you want her to WEAR what you buy for her. If she likes to dress like a dude, don’t pick up a sun dress for her. If she likes to dress like Little House on the Prarie, don’t buy her modern clothing. You have to find out what your parameters are, and then select appealing gear inside that range.

Second, you have to know her size. This is important because you want her to be ABLE TO WEAR what you buy for her. πŸ™‚ Being that she’s your girlfriend, at some point in time, you should have access to her clothes when they’re not attached to her body. Write down her measurements, or twitter them to yourself. Make sure you do this while she’s asleep or in the shower. You know how chicks get with hallucinating about their actual size, or at least lying TO YOU about what it is. This is why you’re not going to ASK HER what her sizes are. She’ll give you the sizes she wishes she was, and not the sizes of clothes she can actually fit in. This reminds me… use your judgement. If your girl loves to stuff herself in jeans, creating unnecessary Muffin-Tops, make sure you increase the value of the sizes you retrieved from her gear.

Also, buying clothes for chicks is seasonal. If you go out with one for an entire year, you’ll notice they tend to get more and less “liquid”. This is, of course, unless they actually diligently monitor their physical condition, which is optimal! πŸ˜€ Anyway, you have to know where your girl currently is with her volume fluctuation. VOLUME is the key thing here, not weight, which is why it’s so funny that chicks always talk about “I need to lose 5 pounds” “I need to lose 10 pounds”, when who cares how much you weigh, when you don’t LOOK any better? So make sure you err on the high side of her volume, or else she’ll only be able to wear the gear in like three month cycles.

Now, you might be wondering… “Why in the hell would *I* want to dress my chick?” πŸ™‚ Well… Why did you buy that fancy car? Why do you work your ass off all day to get some money? Why did you go to the gym to work off all that beer that you drank? The same way you’re hooking YOURSELF up, you should be hooking YOUR GIRL up. There are a few reasons for this…

Women tend to confuse “a clothing item which looks cute” with “a clothing item which looks cute ON THEM”. How many times have you seen/heard women compliment another woman that looks absolutely HORRENDOUS in some gear that doesn’t fit her? It’s not that they’re being polite. They actually believe it looks good, I guess because of the colors or the fabric? \o/ … If your girl has this problem, you need to help her out with her clothing selection.

Did you ever notice how Presidential candidates are always married? This is because (amongst OTHER reasons, hahahahaha) guys are judged by their chicks. If you Pair Bond with a chick, you’re saying “this is the best I can do”. Having your chick look better, rather than worse, is ALWAYS in your best interest.

On a personal note, you want your girl to look good because she should ALWAYS catalyze you to think/feel “Yes, Yes… Yes Sir… Cain’t wait to tap that, sunnnnnnn πŸ˜€ “. If you let your girl walk around like a slovenly hippie bum, she’s not going to inspire you… causing you to interact with her more platonically than you’re supposed to and your entire physical relationship to her is less efficient/effective than it should be. The better SHE looks, the more into her YOU’RE going to be, and the more SHE’S going to be into how into her YOU are.

One more thing is, you don’t want to overdo it hahaha πŸ™‚ You’re buying her clothes to go out in the street in, not to model for you in your own crib (which is another issue, entirely). You want her to look good, but not like a professional hooker. Actually… if SHE tends to overdo her gear, buy her some conservative clothing that still looks hawt on her. The first benefit here is that if your girl looks too good, drunk dudes tend to act like AssHats and you might get in a beef over it. Second, you don’t want to tip the “fail scale” and go from “damn… his girl looks HAWT!” to “I know he’s paying her” (as in, he’s a customer). Third, you want it to be gear that she’s comfortable wearing, and some chicks just aren’t comfortable with how attractive they really are.

So now you’re ready. Sneak her measurements. Add at least +2 to all of them. Hit stores that are along the lines of gear she likes to wear, except buy GOOD-LOOKING ish. Surprise her with her presents, then go sport your new & improved chick around town.

PS – You do NOT want to tell her HOW you were able to buy clothes for her that fit perfectly. Make up something romantic like “baby, I’ve held you so many times, I just knew…. πŸ˜€ ”

So go out there and make it happen. Remember…

DiY, or your girl’s going to pay me YOUR MONEY to do your job for you. πŸ˜€

ShoppingGenius

 

 

Got a Crush on a Celebrity…

Reader Derek writes:

There are people out in the public eye that grabs your attention.

Using the “Dating Genius” tried and proven methods, how can someone make any good of this? Generically and academically speaking, mind you.

Actually, this is a very good question, Derek.

Becoming enamored with public figures happens to people all day, every day. That’s why the tabloids make so much money. Everyone’s interested in what their favorite celebrities are doing and saying as well as whom they’re currently dating.

There are two ‘problems’ with this. The first one is that you’re not getting the full experience of a person by watching their show. The second is that you usually don’t have any local access to the person in question, so you never get to experience what they’re really like.

Because of this, what people ‘fall in love’ with is only 1% of the actual person at best… unless they’re doing a personal videoblog where they’re authentically telling you about themselves, their lives, what they think and feel.

For example… I have a friend that’s very PHYSICALLY attractive… very beautiful, but her personality is so *CRASS* that I can’t imagine anyone wanting to date her for who she is as a person. Guys put up with her shenanigans because she’s an easy lay. Other than that, she doesn’t have any wins… None of them are actually “WITH” her. You could take that chick and make her the host of a television show or internet show, and guys would be ‘falling in love’ with her too, but that’s because she’d be reading a script and her true personality wouldn’t be revealed at all by what she’s saying.

There’s actually a third ‘problem’ with celebrity crushes… You’re not the only one.

Depending on your level of taste in women, there could be easily 100, 1,000 or 1,000,000 guys that ‘fell in love’ with her for the exact same reasons that you did, so even if she’s available and you have local access to her, it’s gonna be an uphill climb to get on.

DatingGenius

L.A. Women

Rick writes: (in response to Pretty Girls – Too Unapproachable?)

I don’t think you see a lot of that where I live in Los Angeles. There are a lot of attractive people here… maybe that’s why. Sadly that also means a lot of superficiality. Hence, rarely a 3rd or 4th date. Looks are important, don’t get me wrong, but substance makes a relationship.

You may be right about that, Rick.

I don’t know anything about LA, but I’ve heard it’s the toughest scene in the USA! πŸ˜€ A female friend of mine was out there for ~ 9 months and never got a date… Well… Then again, she’s not PRIME, hahaha so I really wouldn’t have expected people to choose her over the model-type waitress/acress chicks in LA. πŸ™‚

Anyway, yes… In an environment where there are a lot of attractive people, it’s a completely different dynamic. It really doesn’t matter which one you hook up with, because they’re all hot. Now… Ease on down the road to Middle America and the “hot percentage” takes an incredible dive. :O If you don’t pull one of the few attractive girls in your small town, you may as well move! πŸ˜€

I also agree with the massive attractiveness being a cause of superficiality…. for the guys as well as the girls. When you know you can pick up another chick the next time you walk out in the street, there’s no need to keep one chick or date her over and over. There’s also no reason to keep going out with her if she seems like she doesn’t want to have sex with you because it’s faster to meet a different chick that actually wants to get with you than it is to change the current girl’s mind about getting with the program.

From the females’ point of view, there are so many guys throwing goods and services at them that there’s no need to settle on ONE, unless she’s sure that this is the guy she wants to spend a lot of time with. They used to have a dating show on, and I forget the name of it, something like “Single in New York”, where they followed these girls on date after date on the same day. One time, the cameras caught when one of them got out of a car, being dropped off late by one date, and when she hit the street, her other date was standing there waiting for her, hahaha. She had to hustle upstairs, change, freshen up and go out with the next guy, ASAP.

Also, people seem to go to Los Angeles to “make it big”. I’m sure it becomes in image thing as far as whom you’re dating. Guys in that situation have no choice but to hit on the hottest girls they could find in order to increase or maintain their prestige. No time for the hot girls to get lonely in THAT environment! πŸ˜€

DatingGenius

re: Tricia Wang

re: Tricia Wang’s “Web 2.0 Vigilante”

Interesting points, Tricia.

First of all, I think the “fact” that Ryanne is white (she looks white, so I’ll assume she’s white) is less important here than you make it out to be. “Jim Crow” is about “you are black, so don’t interact with white chicks”. IMO, this situation would have gone the exact same way if the construction workers had all been white. I have no reason to assume that Ryanne would have let white guys slide, so there’s the immediate difference between “Jim Crow” and this situation.

I also have no reason to believe that she KNOWS anything about “black culture” in order to “ignore” it, as you called it. Ignoring it implies an understanding of the differences and then not applying that understanding to your judgement. Having said that, you’re absolutely right that there’s a different dynamic in minority neighborhoods where chicks are “holla’ed at” all day, every day, going to and from work, the store, the gym, wherever. I’m not saying this is a good thing. I agree with you that whatever was being said was probably in some form of social jest, whether positive or negative. As someone pointed out in the comments on the original post, we don’t get to hear what was actually said. We hear Ryanne’s account of what she heard, which was “woof woof” and “hey slim”. Depending on the context, those remarks could be an indication that they thought she was attractive or that they thought she was unattractive. Either way, she felt disrespected, and it’s clear on the tape that she’s affected and upset. I’m sure there are quite a few minority women that get game kicked to them all day, every day that are more sick of it than she is, and would like to do the same thing, if they thought it would do them any good.

The signal of future punishment was clear. Again, I think the construction guys being black isn’t as important as you make it out to be. If she had taped Italians in Bensonhurst, you wouldn’t have written this article at all.

As far as web 2.0 vigilantes, you bring up some good points. I hadn’t heard of gaettongnyeo before today. I think that’s a fine example of retribution getting out of hand. Did the girl deserve to be shamed? Of course. She let the dog “make a mess” on the subway, and then refused to clean it up as if it wasn’t her fault. According to reports, there were “elders” around, who told her to clean it up, and she STILL didn’t (major error #2). So they took her picture and she got embarrassed. That’s good for her. She won’t be pulling stunts like that in the future. πŸ™‚ However… There are at least two problems with the HollaBack technique… well… three, if you count the one you bring up at the end of your post.

Problem #1 is for the harasser, or in this case, the harassers. In the cases where guys do egregious stuff like they outline on the HollaBack sites, they’re getting what they deserve. I think there should definitely be some way that women can make themselves feel more safe or make habitual harassers known to others in the neighborhood so they can be aware. There are other situations where women didn’t like being called “baby” or being looked at from across he boulevard. I’m not sure that all the offenses warrant the same treatment/cagegorization. By posting these guys’ (I can say guys, because I didn’t see any pictures of lesbian harassers on those sites) faces to the net, they’re being seen as ‘guilty’ merely on the say-so of the poster. What happens now if someone’s boss’ wife goes on the site… or if their boss happens to be a woman and goes on the site herself and sees him and the description of whatever it is he’s supposed to have done? What if he gets fired because he tried to meet a chick he thought was attractive in the street, and thought he was kicking it to her in the expected fashion by calling her beautiful or asking if he can walk with her? What happens if this guy’s married and his wife sees what was posted about him and his relationship gets messed up? What happens in a group situation like in Ryanne’s video? What if one or more of the guys in the shot didn’t have jack to do with the harassment, but there they are on tape with everyone else? What happens if the boss sees this and decides to sanction everyone there, since there’s no telling who said what? You might be saying “So what? If extra stuff happens to them, that’s what they get for harassing!”… Well… “So what?” is Problem #2.

Problem #2 is for the woman taking the picture. What if the guy you take a picture of is on parole and wasn’t supposed to leave VA, but you take a picture of him in NYC? What if the guy doesn’t want his wife to see him on the net… or his boss to see him on the net? What if the guy just plain doesn’t like the fact that you took a picture of him and decides to do something about it?

Problem #3 is what Tricia states towards the end:

Sites like hollabacknyc.blogspot.com/ are passive in the documentation and function to empower the woman who posts a picture of her cat caller. The cat caller is never truly confronted for his behavior, therefore it’s not really effective in preventing harassment as there is no true confrontation.

This is true. The cat caller isn’t confronted at all. From the women’s own reports, most of the time there’s some yelling, or maybe someone gives someone the finger. Other than that, nothing happens. Sometimes, they say to the harasser that they’re going to put him on the net. Some of the pictures are from very far away or the back of some guy’s head or a picture of his car that’s parked somewhere… The sites are more for venting than anything else, and that’s very useful for women who don’t want to feel like they’re the only ones stuff like this happens to. The reason this is a problem is that the end may not justify the means if the taking of the picture makes a bad situation much worse than it originally was for the picture-taker. It certainly doesn’t justify the means if the camera’s confiscated by the harasser.

Anyway… Everybody knows women are going to be shouted at as they’re passing construction sites. It’s a pastime as much as having a beer or watching sports. That doesn’t mean Ryanne has to accept that for herself. The guys in the video, black, white, whatever, are not hanging out on crates in front of a closed storefront. They are working. This means they have a supervisor, and that supervisor has a supervisor and that supervisor has a supervisor. Somewhere along the line, there’s someone with the ability to impose sanctions on those guys for “misrepresenting” the construction company… even if the owner is the most sexist guy out of all of them. πŸ™‚ I think the workers have more of a responsibility to know that they could get in trouble for yelling either compliments or insults at a woman walking by the site more than Ryanne has a responsibility to understand minorities’ different style of being friendly or socializing.

HollaBack Girls 03

Rox said in a reply to “Hollaback Girls 02”:

I’m all for some consciousness raising Bill and you’re to be lauded by jumping in here. I draw a distinction between “boys being boys” and actual harassment and assault. Women who are waiting for men to change will wait forever to feel at ease on the street. Girls, it’s an inside job! Let’s start building up our “ignoring muscles” and stop letting them get to us. “Aura In” and they’ll either notice you less or you’ll notice it less, or both! Vent as necessary to get back on center. And to those slime balls who cross the line to actual assault, haul ’em into court.

Thanks Rox. I agree with making distinctions in these situations. A lot of what I read was egregious behavior that should be reprimanded, and some of it prosecuted. There were other cases where the women were upset that a guy was looking at them from far, far away or that he added “baby” or “sweetheart” to his verbal greeting to them. They were upset by ANY indication that a guy wanted them, sexually. Unfortunately, except for test-tube-babies and sperm banks, that’s what we’re all doing here…. SOME guy wanted to have sex with SOME girl, and they did it and someone raised that baby and now that baby is YOU. I think those women that are hoping that guys are going to stop being sexually attracted to them could use your “Aura In” suggestion. πŸ˜€

OTOH, there’s tons of incorrect behavior that goes on that should be stopped. Again, I have the benefit of being a guy, so I can walk past construction sites without incident. I can order food or a beer without someone asking me personal questions. I can walk down the street and think without random people interrupting my train of thought because they want something from me. I can walk past a group of guys that I KNOW are going to harass the next attractive female they see without them saying anything to me. It’s easy to not be able to empathize with women in these cases, because A) men don’t get sexually harassed in the street, and B) our reaction to harassment is going to be the buildup of adrenaline and aggression as opposed to fear and just HOPING nothing happens to us or counting on words to get us out of the situation instead of physical action.

There really isn’t a reverse equivalent. Women can’t sexually harass men in the same way. As long as the woman is attractive to the guy, he’s going to be glad she’s kicking it to him. He’s still going to choose whether he has sex with her or not (because he’s married, because he thinks she’s “too easy”, whatever), but it’s a POSITIVE thing that she’s interested in getting with him. From what I read, a lot of women just hate the fact that guys want to have sex with them without knowing anything about them other than what they look like, or in the cases where their bodies are covered, just the fact that they’re females. I’m not talking about the guys that clearly have no chance of getting on and are just saying things to the women in order to be jerks. I’m talking about the guys that have a certain percentage chance that a woman’s going to like how they look and accept their rap and take things from there. They say the same things to women all day and all night, and most of them don’t go for it, but some of them do.

If the woman ISN’T physically attractive to the guy, hahaha, that’s STILL not the same thing, because the element of intimidation isn’t there. If he’s not attracted to her, he’s not having sex with her, regardless of what she says, so it’s more like an annoying fly buzzing around. If she presses him, it’s the same situation as the bum in front of McDonalds. She’s going to have to back off, or there will be “consequences & repercussions”! πŸ˜€ (Eddie Murphy, “Life“)

The point is that many of the things that make women feel harassed, like a guy saying “hey baby” can’t really be understood by guys, because there’s no equivalent. Any pressure put on a guy is going to lead to self-defense. It all falls under the umbrella of ‘disrespect’, and will be dealt with accordingly. Women have too many examples of their own and from other women where a situation started out “just like this” and ended up in a really bad situation for them. The only way around this, IMO, is to increase male awareness about the intimidation aspect that women perceive in what they’re doing. I know guys that will go “hey ma” and “hey beautiful” and “you look good” etc etc ALL DAY, up and down the block… but if they see some guy actually harassing one of these women, they’ll beat the living tar out of him. This is because what they’re doing is SOCIALIZING. They’re making it known to the women in whatever style they use that they’re interested in them, and they’d like to spend some time with them. If the women aren’t interested, they keep going and that’s that. The guys doing it have ZERO bad intentions towards the women, but I’m sure a lot of them don’t connect their socialization style to the women feeling intimidated at all.

OTOH, there are lots of guys that act like jerks just because they can, to guys & girls alike, and they enjoy and abuse the advantages they have over women, so all you can do is “fight the good fight” of education, awareness and rarely, legislation.

The Late Nite Mash

Dan McVicar (The Bold & The Beautiful, Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson) has a new show… The Late Nite Mash. It’s a mash-up of comedy, music and fascinating people. It’s a community where viewers will contribute their own material to the show.

The Late Nite Mash is DEDICATED to giving everyone something better to watch while they’re wasting their time.

No matter what time it is… It’s late in Los Angeles… but it’s too early to go home!

It’s The Late Nite Mash!