Bill Cammack

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From time immemorial, guys have wondered why women go to the bathroom together. Well… The Kid’s about to let you know what the real deal is! :D

Here are five reasons why women go to the bathroom together:

1. Cockblocking

If there’s one thing women love, it’s NOT MINDING their own business. The only thing they love more than that is stopping YOU from getting laid. It’s one of the two things they do to guys that make them feel accomplished in life….

If you’re talking to a gal and her homegirl comes over uninvited, she’s trying to block ONE OF YOU. There’s a very, very, very, VERY low-percentage chance that she’s trying to steal you from her girlfriend. I’ve had this happen, and most of the time it’s been because the blocker considered herself as trumping the blockee in looks or sexuality. It’s basically “If SHE can get the rap to him, I know that *I* can get him too / instead”. It’s flattering and all that, but it’s also corny. Just be happy for your girl and stay out of her business. Stop being greedy & competitive. Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve heard some REALLY STUPID THINGS recently, and I’d like to mention that people really should stick to dating people who are as smart as they are or smarter.

Dating idiots isn’t going to work out for smart people. Dating smart people isn’t going to work out for idiots. It’s a really frustrating match, to use the term “match” loosely.

Dumbing it Down

For the smart person, it’s incredibly frustrating, trying to have a conversation with a fool. The fool doesn’t understand basic concepts, but then believes that they actually have a proper mental grasp on reality. It would be palatable… slightly… if the idiot understood that he or she knows nothing at all, because then, they might be open to listening to what you have to say and attempting to absorb it. Instead, the fool attempts to win you over to their way of thinking, because they’re clearly right, being that they’re too stupid to understand that 4 + 4 doesn’t actually equal 44. Read the rest of this entry »

This is not a continuation of “Online Dating Tactics”. This is a response to a BlogHer post by Zandria M, entitled “Dating: ‘Tis the Season”.

Zandria: I’ve heard that more breakups occur during the holiday season than any other time of year. [...snip...] The thing is, though, I haven’t seen a drop in the amount of people looking for dates online. In fact, I’m receiving more expressions of interest than I did when I first signed up over the summer.

hehehe Excellent read, Zandria. :) Let me tell you what’s going on.

You explained why you’re getting more expressions of interest now than you did over the summer. Guys are dumping their girls for the holiday season OR they’ve already DECIDED that they’re dumping their girls, so they’re trolling for more women ahead of time. It’s like being a freelancer in a work situation. As a video editor, I get MORE work when people get fired or companies downsize. You’re experiencing the same thing with online dating.

The reasons you gave were spot-on. Basically, the holiday season is an expensive time to have a girlfriend, so guys tend to break up permanently or at least until the season’s over and take their girls back in January.

Another reason is that there are a lot of holiday parties right now, with a lot of DRUNK WOMEN at them. That’s where you want to be, instead of stuck at some party with a chick you already know… or even WORSE, over @ her relatives’ crib! :( This is PRIME TIME for meeting women and starting new relationships. Also, if you start a new relationship NOW, it’s too early for her to expect an expensive gift from you. :)

Zandria: The thing is, though, the more dating you do, the more instances of “Did he really do/say that?” tend to emerge.

You need to catalogue those increasing instances of “Did he really do/say that?” that you’re experiencing, because those are brief glimpses into what a lot of guys are actually thinking. It’s really the little things that give people away.

Zandria: I have had several “interesting” experiences.

For one thing, a lot of guys seem to think they’re six feet tall. I]ve spoken to a number of women who back up this theory of Male Online Dating Height Exaggeration. Guys who really are tall — say, over 6′2″ — tend not to lie. But if I see a profile that says the guy is 6′0″, I’m going to assume he’s at least an inch or two shorter than that. (If I’m 5′9″ and wearing not-very-tall heels, and the dude is also wearing shoes, and we’re looking each other straight in the eye? I’m sorry, but you’re not six feet tall.)

As far as the “six feet tall” thing, hahaha Online dating sites are set up in categories. This is how women and men get to choose whom they see in their search results. If a guy honestly states that he’s 5′9″ and a lot of women check the box that says 6′ or over, he doesn’t show up in the search results and he doesn’t get that date. Or, in some cases, where the site does the matchup FOR you, he doesn’t make the “compatible” list, so, again… HE doesn’t get that date. Since the whole point of him being on the service is to meet women that he wants to date or have sex with or whatever, he wants to meet as many as possible, so he LIES and says he’s 6′ tall. It’s not that he doesn’t REALIZE that he’s not that tall hahahahaha. It’s not that he has delusions about his height. He’s merely tricking you into going out on a date with him, when he’s actually below your selected height requirement.

It’s all in the game. :)

Oh… and apply the same logic to his salary.

Zandria: Another thing: some guys need to be more up-front about important matters that affect possible future relationships before you take the time to meet them in person. I had this one guy wait until our first meeting before he asked me, “Did I tell you that I’m about to be deployed to Iraq for seven months?”

As far as guys being “more up-front about important matters that affect possible future relationships”, nobody’s thinking about “possible future relationships” until they meet you in person. The way it works is, guys get what they can get… NOW… and if it continues, fine. So, if dude’s about to leave town, he’s looking for something to do UNTIL he leaves town. Similar to the “not 6-feet-tall” guy, he’s not going to ruin his chance to try to get some or have a temporary girlfriend by letting you know he’s not physically available for a LTR.

Once he meets you, it’s a different story. He might feel like “this one’s a keeper” and THEN come clean about his current status and future plans. I guess I should have put ‘clean’ in quotes, because STDs are another thing guys (AND gals) don’t tend to mention on online dating sites.

Zandria: Then there are the things that just make me go “Hmm…” Like the guy who came across as really formal and straight-laced, but when I called him out on it (yes, I will call you out if it’s warranted) he assured me, “I do have a dark and twisted side.”

As far as dudes announcing that they “have a dark and twisted side”, that normally means that they don’t, but they’d be willing to make one up so as to not get rejected for being boring. Also, “dark and twisted” is relative to his own experience. I know women who think doggie-style is dark and twisted, hahahaha :D The point is that guys are going to SAY whatever they have to say in order to stay on track to hooking up with you. If they’re wackos, they’re going to say they’re not. If they’re boring, they’re going to say they’re not.

If you want to know if a guy’s “twisted” for real, look in his eyes and then ask him what he wants to do to you.

So, yeah, that’s “how we do”. Lie as much as you need to in online dating so you get a chance to run your IRL game on her. Best-case scenario, the 5′9″ broke-as-a-joke, unemotionally available, boring dude gains the physical company of a female he finds attractive for one or more evenings. Worst-case scenario, she walks out the door as soon as she sees you, because you’re not what she wanted… except that’s the same outcome as if you hadn’t lied on your application in the first place and she never chose you, so who cares?

It’s all in the game. :D

~Bill

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L = Lindsey Chen B = Bill Cammack

B: Since Lindz and I got on the chicks about mistakes they make when trying to get a guy, it’s only fair that we let the fellaz know what THEY’RE doing wrong as well. :D

1) Wearing the same clothes

B: No… I don’t mean rocking the same gear every day… I mean dressing up the same way as the guy next to you… and the guy next to him… and the guy next to him…….

See, unfortunately, everybody had the same idea you had and went to the mall and bought the exact same shirt. So… Instead of indicating that you’re aware of the fashion trends, you’re indicating that you’re a drone. You have no personal style. Everybody knows that when someone else dictates to you that you should wear something different, that’s what you’re gonna do. No good.

Figure out stuff that YOU like to wear and that YOU look good in and that represents who YOU are as a person, and make up your own style. Separate yourself from the pack. Be that ONE GUY that the chicks want to ask where you shop instead of knowing off the bat from the second you walk in the door with your pack of croanies that look exactly the same as you do.

L: Clothes not only define a person’s personality, but also makes them memorable. At least if you hit it off with a girl, she can remember you by “that guy that was wearing the red and white striped pants” instead of “that guy with the hair”

B: So Funny! :D That happens all the time! “Remember Lisa from Jon’s party?” “Jeans or Skirt?” “Skirt” “Black or Blue” “Black” “The one with the…” “Yeah, Her” “Yeah… What about her?” :D

2) Not having anything in common with her

B: Major Mistake. Major. Choosing a chick to be your girlfriend just because you enjoy hitting it. Is there any other reason TO choose a girlfriend? no. :D However, eventually, you’re going to get bored of tapping it for the gazillionth time, or she’s gonna get out of shape. In either case, you’ll suddenly experience an increase in the time you spend NOT having sex with her. This is where you’ll realize that you have nothing in common with her other than sex and start looking for your way out of the relationship (unless she gets back in shape, in which case, all bets are off! :D ).

Do yourself a favor and make sure you have things in common with your girl so that you can still have a good time with her during “the off season”. Maybe you both like video games. Maybe you both enjoy eating out @ the different restaurants in your town. Maybe you both enjoy watching MMA fights. If so… make sure she knows Jiu-Jitsu so you can kick her ass and she can take it…. um… or maybe she’ll kick YOUR ass for stepping to her sideways! :D

L: VERY TRUE! And like I said before, things in common that don’t count: breathing, eating, showering (and if it does, get the hell outta there), walking, etc… you get the point, right?

3) Bragging about what you have / own Read the rest of this entry »

So… A few hours ago @ Brian’s party, The Kid made a new friend… Well… Until she actually reads my blog, hahaha :D Her name is Jess, and she blogs @ Jess and Josh Talk About Stuff.

So, naturally, this morning, the mandatory e-Stalking session was in order. :D

I immediately landed on a series of posts entitled “The Great Catcalling Experiment”, and of course, The Kid was like awwwwwww here we GO!!! :D

I thought I’d comment on some excerpts from Jess’ series…..

“Jezebel just posted an article analyzing CNN’s lovely story entitled, “Catcalls – Creepy or Complimentary?” Hey, CNN – allow me to answer that question for you, since as a PYT living in New York, I am constantly the victim of bordering-on-sexual-harassment-catcalls.”

I’ll assume that PYT stands for “Pretty, Young Thing”, derived from Michael Jackson’s record. If it’s something else, someone let me know! :D

“Not only is it creepy, but it’s objectifying and downright annoying. I have never once stopped in my tracks, looked at my perp in the eye, sincerely thanked him and then handed him my number.”

“So why do men continue to catcall?”

Personally, I don’t indulge… but I see why a lot of guys do it. We’ll get to that later. :)

I don’t bother with catcalling because a) it doesn’t work, and b) it totally goes against my personal style. If you tell a chick how fine she is the first time you ever lay eyes on her walking down the street, you already gave your entire game away. You don’t have any leverage, because she knows you’re sweating her. It’s a Cro-Mag move, and really base… simplistic. If that’s how you want to present yourself to a chick you’re tryinna kick it to, be my guest. :D

Actually, I shouldn’t say it DOESN’T work… It’s actually a low-percentage play. IF the chick likes you, AND she doesn’t penalize you for your primitive tactics, you can get on. Quick & Dirty. Done Deal. If she doesn’t like you, no dice. If she liked you until you opened your mouth, no dice. What’s immediately obvious, however, is that if she likes you already, your comment to her actually did you no good. You didn’t GAIN anything by catcalling her (catcalling AT her?), and could have still pulled the digits if you hadn’t said anything at all… OR if you had said something decent or respectful, such as “hello”.

“Is it in their genes? Is it a cultural thing, since many of the men who vocalize appreciation for my “beauty” tend to be Hispanic and African American? (Though, yeah, some are white – and many of them are asshole Wall Street guys).”

hehehe This is a good question. Having met Jess in person, her results are going to be skewed because of her body type. In General, hispanic and black guys are going to be more physically attracted to her and white guys are going to be less physically attracted to her.

Having said that, I think that guys, black, white or otherwise will be more apt to catcall if they’ve experienced success with that tactic in the past, so I think it’s less “cultural” and more “situational”. Also, a lot of the white guys in NYC are imports. They’re not FROM NYC. They’re not used to walking past 8 or 9 girls on one block that they’d hook up with, so they never developed any street game. Some guys don’t even feel like talking to chicks in the street is appropriate at all. :D

“It’s a feminist issue, but it’s also a human issue. Why have so many women simply accepted this kind of harassment as part of the female job description?”

Partially, because women can’t win this situation. If you keep walking, he “wins”, or at least, he didn’t lose anything, because you would have kept walking anyway if he hadn’t tried to “throw his hat in the ring” (unless you were into him until he catcalled, as I explained earlier). If you stop and talk to him, he wins. That’s what he wanted. Even if you react negatively towards him, he’s still getting your time and attention and he doesn’t care what you think anyway, so all you’re doing by talking to him is giving him a chance to try to get on.

Of course, I’m talking about non-workplace situations.

“It doesn’t matter what I’m wearing, either. I’ve been hit on on my way home from the gym, red-faced, pony-tailed, wearing sweats and coated in a sheet of sweat (er, excuse me – glistening).”

Already covered => “Does it matter what women think?”. Basically, what you think of YOUR looks / attire has ZERO bearing on HIS interest in you. Also, your lack of indication that you want him (or anyone) to talk to you is completely irrelevant.

The entire point is Desire Fulfillment. His.

“This initial graph shows that the majority of men actually did want to pursue something with me beyond catcalling, which was… unexpected, especially considering it’s strange that they would use such a relatively offensive method of catching my attention if they actually wanted to go on a date with me. Or maybe they were caught off guard since I’m sure they never get a positive response from the women they verbally harass. Upon approaching them, they appeared rather flustered but still semi-confident. I gave them each fake phone numbers. Sorry, boys.”

This is why I mentioned success rates and “street game” earlier. Catcalling isn’t a “Never” proposition… it’s only “Low Percentage”. You can definitely get on with catcalling, and there are guys that do it all the time, I’m sure. My point earlier was that they don’t actually NEED to catcall, because the only reason they’d be successful is if the chick was already attracted to them.

The fact remains that there are gals that respond to catcalling AND will give it up relatively quickly thereafter…. um…. actually, that’s probably one of the benefits, hahaha. If you can pick her up by yelling at her in the street, she should be an easy lay. It’s kind of like a poor way to weed out chicks that you might have to put in some work to get. :)

“Woo! I don’t know if it’s the impending heatwave or the fact that I’m wearing a belted t-shirt as a dress, but every construction worker and his brother-in-law wanted to bang this hot mami this morning. Or, so they verbalized.”

“An anonymous commenter brought up the excellent point that just because the men positively embrace my response to their jeers, it does not mean they want to date me. Instead, it probably means they just want to fuck me.”

The difference being……..?

“So now we will operate under the premise that when they ask for my phone number they are simply trying to get in my pants.”

ummm….. Of Course. That’s all that’s going on. Guys are taking shots in the dark at getting laid.

There’s an endless supply of chicks in this town. By one report, there are 210,820 excess single women in NYC. This means that when it comes to kicking game, women are completely expendable. You can ruin a rap to 50 chicks every single day and NEVER run out of chicks to meet in this town that have never seen you before in their lives. I met Jess approximately 12 hours ago, read her blog this morning and blogged about it this afternoon. I met chicks the day before yesterday, and I’m going to meet more today. :D

The point is that catcalling is a last ditch effort, even if a lot of guys use it as their first attempt at kicking it to a chick. It’s low percentage, but it doesn’t matter if you burn that bridge. There are another couple of hundred thousand chicks to try to get on with before the end of the construction day.

“… If any fellow catcallers and readers of Jess and Josh want to take on this task and report back, we would be very grateful. Otherwise, I guess we’ll all have to keep on wondering… why men do the things they do zomg lolz.”

I think by now, I’ve gone over the basic points. When it comes to trying to get laid in a city with an endless supply of females, taking shots in the dark is a low-percentage play that MIGHT score you a chick that will give it up quick. Even if she hates you after the fact, it’s irrelevant, because there are another 210,000 of her that you haven’t offended yet. On top of that, there are women that will take ANY showing of attention from a guy as a compliment, due to an extreme lack of self-esteem. With so many extra females, every so often, you’re bound to run into one that’s tired of not getting some herself, and is susceptible to hooking up with some guy that catcalled her for her own personal pleasure.

As far as “dating”… Dating is just setting up opportunities to get laid, so we end up back at the nitty-gritty. He doesn’t care what you say. He doesn’t care what you think. He DOES care what you look like and that he’s physically turned on by you, and decides to utilize his primitive skillz to try to pick up women on the fly.

It doesn’t matter that you’re dressed in sweats and a hoodie. It doesn’t matter that you didn’t look at him or say anything to him to indicate that you wanted to be rapped to……

Having said all that… :D

I was chatting with Lux earlier, and her take is that catcalling isn’t really about sex… it’s about power.

That’s a discussion for another day. All I can express is the point of view of someone that knows professional catcallers and has the opportunity to catcall chicks every day. I opt out, because it’s low-percentage as well as low-brow. Catcalling usually indicates either desperation or disrespect. Neither one is good. :D

There are classier ways to throw your hat in the ring when you’re crossing a woman’s path that you’ll never see again in this city of millions.

Step your games up, Playboys! :D

Individual links:
Boys Will Be Boys, and So Their Balls May Suffer the Conseq…
The Great Catcalling Experiment: Day One
The Great Catcalling Experiment: Day Two
The Great Catcalling Experiment: Day Three, Uptown Version

DatingGenius
 
 

L = Lindsey Chen B = Bill Cammack

L: There are millions (and counting) of girls out there who are single. Some of them prefer to be single, but for the most part, they just can’t get a guy. Why? These girls are eligible bachelorettes, good looking, have a career and (for the most part) aren’t crazy. They are just breaking some simple rules when trying to get a guy. And that’s probably because they don’t realize they are making these obvious mistakes. My advice? Follow the rules and it should be smooth sailing from here on out.

1) Looking in all the wrong places

L: It’s Friday night and you’re all dressed up to head to the coolest bar or as I like to call it, “frat boy feeding grounds.” This is your first indication that you’re in the wrong place. The second indication is that guys are fist pumping while dancing to “My Humps” and any other song by R. Kelly. These guys are classy. Real classy. Do you want to hook up with these guys? Probably not. So why are you there? You’re better off meeting someone doing something you like i.e. Museums, concerts, Art galleries or even a lounge. Already you’ll have something to talk about and eliminate the problem of meeting Mr. Douchebag who you’ll have to talk to for at least 7 minutes when he buys you a drink and then force him off of you because he’s too drunk to even have a proper conversation. I’ll explain the 7 minute rule later.

B: Spot-On, hahaha I can always tell what kind of girls are going to be in a spot by the kinds of guys I see there. Maybe there’s some variety when a place first opens, but eventually, the bar achieves a certain “personality”, and the same type of people tend to flock to it. The more these people show up, the less OTHER people show up, because it becomes less their scene. Eventually, places become known for certain types of guys that go there. Once that happens, girls who are into those types of guys go to those places… and girls that DON’T like those types of guys avoid those places.

The problem occurs when it’s “girls’ night out” and one of your homegirls picks a bar with the types of guys SHE likes, but not the types YOU like. If this is the case, make sure you rotate who gets to choose the venue! :D

Meeting someone doing something you like is a way better option, because you definitely have something in common and even if you don’t want to go to a museum and see who shows up there, there are online groups like http://meetup.com where people figure out what interests they share and then make plans to get together IRL.

2) Giving them your number and expecting them to call

L: If a guy asks for your number, OK give it to him. There’s about a 35% chance that he’ll call. But don’t just shove your number in his pocket (or better yet, write it on his hand) and expect him to call. That screams, SLUT! Here’s you’re first mistake. You’re too aggressive. Half the fun is the chase and if you put yourself out there like that, you’re coming across as too easy. Guys don’t like that. If guys wanted an easy girl, he’d go to the local strip club or pick up the first girl on the corner of the street. At least he wouldn’t have to waste his time conversing with you. Anyway, these aren’t the guys that you’re going for, right? You’re to classy for that kind of shit.

B: That’s just the thing. If you give a guy your number when he didn’t ask you for it, he’s either thinking that you’re sweating him or that you give your number to everybody. If he was planning on calling you anyway, then good for you for indicating that you like him also. If he WASN’T planning on calling you, he’ll still take your number, just in case. So if he doesn’t crumple it up and discard it after you walk away, you *might* get a call after he runs down the list of chicks he ACTUALLY wanted to hang out with that night.

Your best bet is to make him so interested in you that he’s DYING to get your number before letting you out of his sight. ;)

3) Allowing the guys to buy you unlimited drinks Read the rest of this entry »