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	<title>Bill Cammack &#187; brainwashing</title>
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		<title>Cougars vs. MILFs</title>
		<link>http://billcammack.com/2010/08/22/cougar-vs-milf/</link>
		<comments>http://billcammack.com/2010/08/22/cougar-vs-milf/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 22 Aug 2010 19:33:36 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Bill Cammack</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[What is a Cougar? How come this dating term only applies to females and not to males who exhibit the same behaviors? Definition According to Wikipedia, a Cougar is &#8220;a woman, 40 years of age or older, who pursues younger men, typically more than eight years her junior. The term is also commonly applied to [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div name="googleone_share_1" style="position:relative;z-index:5;clear:right; float: right; margin-right: 10px; margin-top:10px;"><g:plusone size="tall" count="1" href="http://billcammack.com/2010/08/22/cougar-vs-milf/"></g:plusone></div><p>What is a Cougar?  How come this dating term only applies to females and not to males who exhibit the same behaviors? <span id="more-8793"></span></p>
<h3>Definition</h3>
<p>According to Wikipedia, a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cougar_(woman)#Slang_terms" rel="nofollow">Cougar</a> is &#8220;a woman, 40 years of age or older, who pursues younger men, typically more than eight years her junior.  The term is also commonly applied to women that are thirty or older.&#8221;</p>
<p>This is clearly a corny &#038; simpe viewpoint.  <a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cougar" rel="nofollow">Urban Dictionary</a> has some more definitions for us:</p>
<ul>
<li>An older woman who frequents clubs in order to score with a much younger man. The cougar can be anyone from an overly surgically altered wind tunnel victim, to an absolute sad and bloated old horn-meister, to a real hottie or MILF. Cougars are gaining in popularity &#8212; particularly the true hotties &#8212; as young men find not only a sexual high, but many times a chick with her **** together.</li>
<li>(see also hunt, prowl, corner, pounce). Noun. A 35+ year old female who is on the &#8220;hunt&#8221; for a much younger, energetic, willing-to-do-anything male. The cougar can frequently be seen in a padded bra, cleavage exposed, propped up against a swanky bar in San Francisco (or other cities) waiting, watching, calculating; gearing up to sink her claws into an innocent young and strapping buck who happens to cross her path. &#8220;Man is cougar&#8217;s number one prey&#8221;</li>
<li>An attractive woman in her 30&#8242;s or 40&#8242;s who is on the hunt once again. She may be found in the usual hunting grounds: nightclubs, bars, beaches, etc. She will not play the usual B.S. games that women in their early twenties participate in. End state, she will be going for the kill, just like you. Associated with MILFs.</li>
<li>A woman in her sexual prime who prefers to hunt rather than be hunted. A cougar&#8217;s victims are usually under 25, as cougars prefer to mate with men who still have hair. Cougars generally feed and then continue hunting, as they enjoy role reversal.</li>
<li>A Cougar is a female, usually between thirty and fifty years-old, who enjoys the sexual company of younger men. Cougars are only usually interested in men under the age of twenty-five. Also, Cougars are non-committal, choosing to move from mate to mate without ever settling down. It is not uncommon for the same Cougar to attack (sleep with) many different men in the same group of friends. Furthermore, Cougars are older and more practiced in the ways of snaring a mate so they will rarely broadcast their intentions to sleep with you until you are already in her Jetta, headed for the condo she just bought. It is this elusive behavior that earns her the name “Cougar.”</li>
<li>Hot and sexy older woman, usually in her 40s or 50s, single or married, who is sick of her same-age counterparts which are usually hairless, have big guts, who only talk about their insurance premiums and have the TV remote control attached to their hands. Cougars are attractive, in their sexual prime, who know what they want and aren&#8217;t afraid to go after it. BIG misconception is that they dress cheap, wear hot pink nail polish, animal skin prints and are not-so-attractive old-looking hags with bleached hair (Yeah those women exist, but they are NOT cougars). True cougars are classy, beautiful creatures who have made their successes on their own, have real brains, usually with expensive cars/homes, and are real head turners. Cougars seek younger men, and don&#8217;t have to sneak up and attack&#8230;they know their younger mates are eager to get an experienced woman who won&#8217;t ask if they&#8217;ll call them the next day. Being a cougar is a positive thing.</li>
</ul>
<p>Did you notice how this is like a crime scene where everyone has a different description of the perp? :D</p>
<p>She was 35.. No.. She was 50&#8230;<br />
She was rich.. No.. She was broke&#8230;<br />
She looked busted.. No.. She looked HAWT!!! :D</p>
<p>For the purpose of this discussion, I&#8217;m going to define a Cougar as a female that&#8217;s older than the male she&#8217;s kickin&#8217; it to who has uncommon advantages over that male that she&#8217;s not &#8220;supposed&#8221; to have.</p>
<p>We need to keep the &#8220;older than&#8221; component, or the concept isn&#8217;t any fun.  If you get served by a chick your age or younger, she was just smarter than you and your life sucks.</p>
<p>I&#8217;m willing to toss the &#8220;how much money she has&#8221; component and the &#8220;whether she looks good or not&#8221; component as those aren&#8217;t going to be primary issues during the locker-room talk debriefing the next day with his boys.  As soon as he mentions that he hooked up with an older chick, the conversation could potentially stall there indefinitely as he attempts to explain why and save face in front of his friends who are dying to call him &#8220;desperate&#8221;.</p>
<p>The age component needs to be dropped lower because those mid-western grade-school teachers that keep getting busted for being in love with their 14-year-old (happy as HELL to get laid!!! :D) students already qualify as Cougars in their late 20&#8242;s.</p>
<p>So we need for the Cougar to be older, except we also need for her to have uncommon advantages in the relationship.  Otherwise, she qualifies as a MILF, which is a similar, yet completely different fetish category.</p>
<h3>MILFs</h3>
<p>The acronym MILF stands for Mother I&#8217;d Like to ****.  It&#8217;s a technically incorrect term because nobody cares whether the older chick has kids or not.  The concept is more that she&#8217;s old enough to have kids or maybe that the way she looks, you would say &#8220;She&#8217;s old enough to be my mother&#8221; even though she might only be 5 years older than you are.</p>
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<p>MILFs don&#8217;t have any advantages in relationships.</p>
<p>They&#8217;re just like regular females except they were born before you were.  You don&#8217;t need to apply any special tactics for them.  Actually, you can do even less as you imagine them to be relatively desperate and hungry for some male action.</p>
<p>MILFs are a fetish category because they&#8217;re not supposed to still be in The Game.  They&#8217;re supposed to have had all the sex they&#8217;re going to have in their lives and now, their function is being somebody&#8217;s mother or a secretary or something.</p>
<p>The problem with this theory is that women supposedly peak sexually in their 30&#8242;s, so even though their looks might be way past their prime, they&#8217;re way more DTF <em>(Down To ****)</em> than younger girls who are still playing stupid games and frontin&#8217; like they don&#8217;t want to hook up with you when you know that they&#8217;re dying to give you some.</p>
<p>So, a MILF is an older woman that you&#8217;re not supposed to be able to have sex with, but somehow you do.. Like, you go to some chick&#8217;s house to take her out to the club and she got stuck at the library studying so her mother invites you wait for her inside and you happen to hook up with the moms, probably including all sorts of stuff that her daughter wouldn&#8217;t have done for you anyway.</p>
<p>Or.. Maybe you decide to do your laundry late at night and this older gal is the only one in the laundromat and one thing leads to another&#8230;</p>
<p>These qualify as MILF encounters&#8230; Regular stuff, except it just so happens that the gal&#8217;s older than you are.</p>
<h3>Cougars</h3>
<p><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120703/" rel="nofollow"><img alt="Cougar or MILF?" title="Cougar or MILF?" width="300" style="float:left" src="http://blogs.centrictv.com/shows/oncentric/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/how-stella-got-her.jpg"></a>A cougar, OTOH, is making moves from her own personal power.  You have to imagine a <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120703/" rel="nofollow">Stella trying to get her Groove Back</a>.</p>
<p>The Cougar knows what she wants and she knows how to get it.  There&#8217;s an empty space she&#8217;s trying to fill&#8230; She&#8217;s looking to add an element to her already HAPPENIN&#8217; lifestyle.</p>
<p>Unfortunately.. Unless you know how to tell the difference, a Cougar looks just like a MILF and you <em>might could</em> get caught slippin&#8217;. :D</p>
<p>It might be a part of her game plan to play that submissive &#8220;Oh.. I do declare!.. I think this whippersnapper&#8217;s trying to have sex with me! :O&#8221; role because she doesn&#8217;t want to scare you off by saying &#8220;Let&#8217;s get out of here&#8221; or asking you to accompany her to the bathroom of the bar and then locking both of y&#8217;all inside.</p>
<p>The trick to the Cougar is that &#8220;She don&#8217;t need you.. She&#8217;ll let the welfare feed you.&#8221;.. The tricks that usually work on women will actually leave you in a worse position than if you hadn&#8217;t tried to use them.</p>
<p>Declarations of love and promises of long-term relationships don&#8217;t have the pantie-dropping effect they&#8217;re supposed to.  She&#8217;s not looking for Mr. Right.. She&#8217;s looking for Mr. Right Now. >:D</p>
<p>It&#8217;s also easy to miss it entirely when a Cougar propositions you because the way some of them press up is so subtle and slick.  For instance, they might use the typical guy&#8217;s trick of feigning interest in your business so you have to.. what?.. Give her your business card.</p>
<p>After that, you need to talka about the business, right?.. Which is usually best discussed over what?.. Dinner. O_o</p>
<p>Of course, you need to meet at the restaurant&#8217;s bar before dinner, which leads to what?.. Drinks&#8230;</p>
<p>Next thing you know, you&#8217;ve gone on a full-fledged DATE with her and you can&#8217;t even accuse her of having asked you out! :D</p>
<h3>So What?</h3>
<p>What difference does any of this make?  How come we need a special term for this behavior?</p>
<p>Cougars do what they want to do when they want to do it.  If this attitude somehow permeated the female population, it would be a complete disaster for guys trying to get laid.</p>
<p>Sometimes, the only leverage you have is that she wants you to spend money on her or take her dancing or buy her a house.. The only carrot you have to dangle in front of her face is how much better her life will be if she hooks up with you.  Take that away, and women would only give it up to guys they actually thought were sexy, and society as we know it goes down the tubes. :D</p>
<p>Once you label the behavior, you can convince people that it&#8217;s a deviant lifestyle and eventually even prescribe medication for it.  mo money, Mo Money, MO MONEY!!! :D</p>
<p>More importantly, you can utilize the new distinction to brainwash girls that this is not who they want to be when they grow up.. A free-thinking, financially independent woman enjoying her life without being subservient to a man (unless that&#8217;s how she gets her kicks..) and getting involved with sex &#038; relationships on her own terms.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s kind of like how they try to blackmail guys into selecting a girlfriend by telling us &#8220;You don&#8217;t want to end up as that old-ass man at the bar, do you?&#8221;</p>
<p>Speaking of which&#8230;</p>
<h3>Male Cougars?</h3>
<p>There is no similar term that means male that&#8217;s older than the female he&#8217;s kickin&#8217; it to who has uncommon advantages over that female that he&#8217;s not &#8220;supposed&#8221; to have.</p>
<p>Guys are SUPPOSED to have lots of advantages over the women they&#8217;re dating.  That&#8217;s the whole point of the mating ritual.  She&#8217;s trying to make a come-up by latching onto a guy that&#8217;s better than her, taller than her, stronger than her, richer than her, with a better career than she has, owns more property than her, has better genes than her family does, etc etc etc.</p>
<p>The phrase women like to use is &#8220;I can do poorly all by myself!&#8221;</p>
<p>There&#8217;s no point in a woman latching onto a man who&#8217;s a lesser human being than she is unless she&#8217;s one of those people that enjoys telling people what to do.  If that&#8217;s her idea of a fun relationship, then more power to her.</p>
<p>So there <em>IS</em> no Cougar-type term for guys because we date women as young as we like, so long as they&#8217;re legal in that particular state.</p>
<p>Will you ever see Hugh Hefner cold lampin&#8217; with chicks his age?  NOPE!.. He likes young chicks and can afford as many of them as he likes.  There&#8217;s no term for that, except perhaps &#8220;The American Dream&#8221;. >:D</p>
<p>According to society&#8217;s standards, guys are SUPPOSED to be older than the gals they date.  They&#8217;re supposed to be taller and smarter and richer&#8230; It&#8217;s not enough of an issue to warrant a particular label, just like women getting laid *WELL* isn&#8217;t enough of an issue to warrant the creation of brothels where women can go to Get Their Groove Back right quick and then get on with their business like men all over the world do every single day of life.</p>
<p>According to a recent Time/CNN article, <a href="http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,2011796,00.html" rel="nofollow">the Cougar craze is a myth</a>&#8230; What do <em>YOU</em> think? O_o</p>
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		<title>Who&#8217;s The Leader In Your Relationship?</title>
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		<comments>http://billcammack.com/2009/05/28/whos-the-leader-in-your-relationship/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 29 May 2009 01:55:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Bill Cammack</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[ok.. So I&#8217;m listening to this conversation that Danielle Ricks hosted, and the gist of it was whether men (in general) were looking for strong women and I hear several times from several people, male &#038; female, something to the effect of a woman &#8220;letting&#8221; a man lead in the relationship. This is a very [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div name="googleone_share_1" style="position:relative;z-index:5;clear:right; float: right; margin-right: 10px; margin-top:10px;"><g:plusone size="tall" count="1" href="http://billcammack.com/2009/05/28/whos-the-leader-in-your-relationship/"></g:plusone></div><p><a href="http://billcammack.com/"><img style="float:left" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2043/2130057396_c84c2f9ff4_m.jpg"></a>ok.. So I&#8217;m listening to this conversation that <a href="http://www.daniellericks.com">Danielle Ricks</a> hosted, and the gist of it was whether men (in general) were looking for strong women and I hear several times from several people, male &#038; female, something to the effect of a woman <em>&#8220;letting&#8221;</em> a man lead in the relationship.</p>
<p>This is a very basic, yet fundamental problem, and women need to cut it out, ASAP.</p>
<h3>Leadership</h3>
<p>If you&#8217;re in the army, and woman has a particular rank and a man has a lower rank than she does, he doesn&#8217;t get to override her opinions&#8230; about ANYTHING.  NUTH-THANG!&#8230; NOTHING!&#8230; NEVER.  Case Closed, Done Deal, It&#8217;s a WRAP!  She outranks him, so by the codes that they live and fight by, he has to take orders from her or peel potatoes in the brig.</p>
<p>There&#8217;s a reason why the woman gets to tell the man what to do.  She&#8217;s put in the work to achieve the rank she&#8217;s achieved and he hasn&#8217;t achieved that rank, so that&#8217;s that.  Unfortunately, people don&#8217;t tend to apply this simple logic to relationships. <span id="more-5188"></span></p>
<h3>Brainwashing</h3>
<p>Back in the day, women had no choice but to &#8220;date up&#8221;, because they weren&#8217;t allowed to vote or own land.  The only way they were going to have ANYTHING in life was if they married a guy that had something good going.  Due to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women%27s_suffrage" rel="nofollow">Women&#8217;s Suffrage</a> and eventually the depletion of the American workforce due to men being killed in world wars, that all ended.</p>
<p>At this point, in 2009, women have the same jobs as men (or better), own the same amount of land, own the same type of cars, houses and apartments and have no problem taking care of themselves and whatever kids they amassed along the way with no help from any men whatsoever.  This would seem to be an advantage for women, but it isn&#8217;t.  It&#8217;s not an advantage because women STILL want to date men that are <a href="http://billcammack.com/2008/02/08/only-date-people-better-than-you-d">better than they are</a>.</p>
<p>Why is this a problem?  Because women are progressing faster than men are.  Go hang out on a college campus and see if you don&#8217;t see MANY more gals than guys.  Walk around town and see who&#8217;s working in the stores&#8230; See if you don&#8217;t see MANY more gals than guys.  Basically, what&#8217;s happening is that women are severely limiting the pool of men that are <em>&#8220;better&#8221;</em> than they are by out-learning men and out-working men.  Women are painting themselves into a social corner because they&#8217;re brainwashed to date men who are achieving more than they are.</p>
<h3>Life Isn&#8217;t Fair</h3>
<p>Meanwhile, men couldn&#8217;t even, hardly, practically, not even GIVE A DAMN whether some chick they want to date is achieving ANYTHING IN LIFE or not.  She&#8217;s hawt or she isn&#8217;t.  They want to tap that or they don&#8217;t.  End of story.  Nobody cares.</p>
<p>So, while women become more educated than men, on the whole, women&#8217;s pool of viable prospects is becoming smaller while men&#8217;s pool of viable prospects is growing larger, because more and more girls turn 18 (become legal for sex anywhere in the United States of America) every single day.</p>
<p>Of course, this makes things even TOUGHER for the accomplished, older women that are trying to hook up with accomplished guys that are dating twenty-somethings and will still be dating twenty-somethings ten years from now.</p>
<h3>Wrong Solution</h3>
<p>This is where statements like &#8220;Let a man lead in the relationship&#8221; come from.  A guy who called in to <a href="http://www.daniellericks.com">Danielle</a>&#8216;s show accidentally hit the nail on the head and didn&#8217;t realize it.  He said &#8220;By saying that, you make it sound like you actually have the power in the relationship, but you&#8217;re letting him lead&#8221;. um&#8230; That&#8217;s EXACTLY what&#8217;s happening.</p>
<p>She knows damned well that she&#8217;s smarter than him, wiser than him, makes more money than he does, has more common sense than he does, etc etc and for the sake of being in a relationship, she&#8217;s going to defer to him so that he can feel like he&#8217;s leading something.</p>
<p>Lame.</p>
<p>The fact of the matter is.. If he were naturally the stronger person (for whatever reason), he would NATURALLY be the leader between the two of them and she would NATURALLY defer to him.  For her to let him lead, that means that he hasn&#8217;t demonstrated to her AT ALL that he SHOULD be the leader.</p>
<p>What&#8217;s that dude in the military going to tell that woman that outranks him?  Nothing.. Other than &#8220;Yes Ma&#8217;am&#8221; and &#8220;No Ma&#8217;am&#8221;.  Does she defer to an obviously inferior male so that they can have a nice relationship?  Nope.  You never succeed with the less capable leading the more capable.  The armed forces would collapse if they let privates tell generals what to do.</p>
<h3>Right Solution</h3>
<p>I think that a better idea for a woman than letting a man that she feels is inferior to her lead their relationship is for her to select a better man to begin with.  I also think remaining single and not settling for anything she can get is a better idea.</p>
<p>This presents an obvious problem for women that want to have a family.  Time is running out for them faster than it&#8217;s running out for guys.  On top of that, guys can have kids with a chick that makes minimum wage just as easily as a gal who&#8217;s an MIT-educated Rocket Scientist.  &#8216;Doesn&#8217;t make a difference.  </p>
<p>Since lots of women aren&#8217;t willing to accept a future of being single, they start compromising and lowering their standards without even recognizing it.  If you have to let someone lead, they shouldn&#8217;t be leading in the first place.  Does that make sense?  How about letting the leader lead?  How about that?  Doesn&#8217;t that seem to be the efficient way to run a relationship?</p>
<p>Why let someone less educated in finance decide what to do with your money?<br />
Why let someone who doesn&#8217;t know about Italian cuisine select the restaurant?<br />
Why let someone with no income decide how many kids you&#8217;re going to have?<br />
Why let someone with zero battlefield experience determine your troop movements?<br />
Why let someone with no playoff experience pinch-hit for your best player?<br />
Why let a guy that you KNOW shouldn&#8217;t be leading you run your relationship?</p>
<p>Can you tell me?</p>
<p>~ <a href="http://billcammack.com/" title="Bill Cammack">Bill Cammack</a></p>
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