How To Starting Dating Again

Now that Valentine’s Day, 2011 is over and you just found out that you’re not your significant other‘s primary relationship, you’re probably thinking about bouncing… breaking up with that person.. ending your relationship and starting all over…

We’ve already talked about how to get over your ex-boyfriend and how to get over your ex-girlfriend, but those are emotional considerations.

Getting back in the game might be a bigger leap than you imagined, so let’s discuss a few issues… Continue reading “How To Starting Dating Again”

Golden Tickets And Stalkers – JS s03 e06

Most of my close female friends, the ones I kick the REAL DEAL with, are aware that when it comes to hooking up, I don’t believe ANYTHING that a female says.


I’ve been lied to by enough women and I’ve listened to enough women lie about what they’ve done with me to recognize that whatever a chick tells you is probably the LEAST of what she did with a dude, and nowhere near the MOST.

This is because there’s no incentive for a woman to tell you the truth about her hookups, even if you’re supposed to be a “friend” of hers. Continue reading “Golden Tickets And Stalkers – JS s03 e06”

I’m Only A Man [RW:DC, Part 01]

One of my most popular posts is 2008’s “How To Break Up With Your Girl”. It seems like every single day, somebody wants to know how to break up with a girl….

***** SPOILER ALERT for Real World: DC ***** If you don’t want to know what happened last night, stop reading now! πŸ˜€


Being a professional at getting rid of chicks while maximizing their potential to feel good about it, I was sitting there like :O watching Josh dump his girlfriend on RW:DC last night. It was horrific. It was brutal.

I know how brutal it was because I did just about the exact same thing back in the day. Continue reading “I’m Only A Man [RW:DC, Part 01]”

Ladies: How To Get Over Your Ex-Boyfriend

Last week, I let the fellaz know how to get over an ex-girlfriend. This week, I have tips for the ladies for what to do when that relationship ends….

1) Consume mass quantities of HΓ€agen-Dazs ice cream

HÀagen-Dazs ice cream is the de facto substitute for sex for women. Everybody knows this. If you haven’t tried it yet, stop reading this post and go get some right now. I’m not sure that there’s one flavor in particular that works across the board, but find the right one, and it’ll tickle your ivories for sure. Similar to dogs for men, HΓ€agen-Dazs is woman’s best friend. Eat enough of it, and you’ll wonder why you cared that your man left you in the first place.

2) Commiserate with your female friends

Make sure you tell your girlfriends that you and your man broke up. All of a sudden, they’ll have all these reasons why he was no good for you in the first place, and you’re better off without him. This will make you feel very good… that is… until you realize that they knew all this stuff BEFORE and should have told you about it so you could have dumped HIM before he dumped YOU.

Make sure you reserve some extra nastiness for the chicks that tell you how your ex has been hitting on them the whole time. As your homegirl, it was their obligation to tell you that your man was trying to get some from them. Also, make sure you add a level to whatever they tell you. That’s how it works with women. If they admit to kissing your man, that means they blew him. If they admit to blowing him, that means they had sex with him, etc.

3) Go to a male strip club

Going to a male strip club will remind you that your man was flabby and out of shape to begin with, so to hell with him. πŸ˜€ Just make sure not to overdo it. Avoid actual physical interaction with the strippers AT.ALL.COSTS! Mark my words, you will end up either on an internet site that specializes in that kind of thing, or even worse, on your local public access television station doing what you did, for all to see.

4) Post about him on the internet

Mosey on over to DontDateHimGirl or HollaBackNYC (or wherever you live, they have a bunch of HollaBack sites) and drag his name through the mud. Nobody actually reads those sites, but you’ll feel a lot better, because it allows you to commiserate with women around the world instead of just the ones you get to bitch and moan to while waiting to get into spin class.

5) Get back in shape

Most likely, the reason he broke up with you (or engineered your breaking up with HIM) is that he lost interest in having sex with you. Getting back in shape will not only make him KICK HIMSELF EVERY SINGLE DAY… but he’ll be insanely jealous of the next man that gets to tap that. He’ll also probably start making moves to get you back, so you get the enjoyment of rejecting him on a daily basis! πŸ˜€

In the words of my friend, Patricia



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How To Get Over Your Ex-Girlfriend

When a woman leaves you, you may feel heartbroken, depressed, wistful, horny, betrayed, disappointed… πŸ™ any number of feelings, consecutively or simultaneously. Here are five tips on how to move on with your life, and learn to love again………

1) Have sex with her sister

hahahahaha Just Kidding! πŸ˜€

… unless her sister’s HAWT! Continue reading “How To Get Over Your Ex-Girlfriend”

How To Break Up With Your Girl

OK Fellaz… Today, we’re going to talk about how to break up with your girlfriend or the chick you’re seeing or dating or whatever you’d like to call it.

Actually, let’s start with something easy. Here’s what a female needs to do if she wants to get rid of her boyfriend:

Stop having sex with him.

Now that we’ve covered that, πŸ˜€ let’s get on to the tough part, which is a guy getting his girlfriend to vamoose.

This is a very delicate process, assuming you still like her as a person and want to retain her as a friend. It’s even further complicated if you just happen to be a nice guy that doesn’t enjoy breaking hearts. You have to figure out how to extract her from the “romantic” aspect of the relationship WITHOUT her throwing out the friendship aspect along with it.

There’s a biological reason why chicks tend to overdo it when it comes to relationships. It’s not their fault. πŸ™‚ According to “Go Ask Alice”:

“Unlike men, who produce new sperm daily throughout most of their lifetime, women are born with all their eggs in one.. okay, two baskets (ovaries). To be more precise, a woman is born with about one to two million immature eggs, or follicles, in her ovaries.

Throughout her life, the vast majority of follicles will die through a process known as atresia. Atresia begins at birth and continues throughout the course of the woman’s reproductive life. When a woman reaches puberty and starts to menstruate, only about 400,000 follicles remain. With each menstrual cycle, a thousand follicles are lost and only one lucky little follicle will actually mature into an ovum (egg), which is released into the fallopian tube, kicking off ovulation. That means that of the one to two million follicles, only about 400 will ever mature.

Relatively little or no follicles remain at menopause, which usually begins when a woman is between 48-55 years of age. The remaining follicles are unlikely to mature and become viable eggs because of the hormonal changes that come along with menopause.”

So, basically, women are biologically inclined to be selective as far as whom they have sex with because they have a finite number of opportunities to have kids. When you add that to the pressure of patriarchal societies for women to only have sex with one guy or be “called out they name”, you can see why it’s so tough to get rid of a chick once she’s decided you’re “the one”.

So now, you’re in a situation where you don’t want to delete her entirely… just roll her back to a previous version of your relationship… You know, like going back to Tiger from Leopard.

First of all, to do this AT ALL, you have to know WHY your girl likes you. Most guys don’t know this, as evidenced by their paranoid behavior, trying (unsuccessfully) to keep tabs on their girl and keep her from giving some to the next man. There’s no reason to worry about your girl hanging out with other guys IF you’re offering her something unique that other guys aren’t. If you got the rap by talking about your car and your house, you may lose out to a guy that has a BOAT and a house, but that’s an entirely different issue.

So, assuming you have this list of great qualities that you have that made her choose you instead of the other guys that were trying to get on, use that list to figure out which qualities you need to subtract from your personality in order to get her to start seeing you as NOT “the one” and shift her romantic focus to some other guy or several other guys. πŸ˜€

Once you’ve got it figured out, change your personality and hold the line. There’s no telling how long this is going to take, so you may have to remain “in character” for months. Eventually, she’ll question her own judgement about selecting YOU as “the one”, and then the questions start… “Where is this relationship going?” “What are we to each other?” “What are we doing?” blah blah blah Just remain friendly towards her and blase about your “relationship” and eventually, the understanding that YOU are not “the one” will solidify for her, and she’ll be ready and willing to break up with you. [insert dancing smiley]

Now, of course the chicks are going to complain that this is underhanded and sneaky and cowardly. πŸ™‚ In reality, it’s in THEIR best interest. This way, THEY get to break up with YOU and give themselves the props for ejecting from a situation that THEY figured out wasn’t working FOR THEM. Meanwhile, you know the truth, and everybody’s happy! πŸ˜€

Just don’t lull yourself to sleep while you’re waiting for her to dump you. When it happens, it’s going to be out of the blue. It’s going to be some time and place that you’re not ready for her to break up with you, so you need to be vigilant. It’s CRITICAL how you “handle” the breakup. If your demeanor is OH, THANK *GOD*!!! IT’S ABOUT TIME! πŸ˜€ then you did all this for nothing. πŸ˜€

When she lets you know what time it is, you want to be a combination of confused, dismayed and “lost”. Don’t overdo it, though. You don’t want her to change her mind! :O Let her know that you understand why she has to do what she has to do and that you still love and care about her “as a friend”. Make sure everything’s smooth between you, and you’ve successfully rolled her back. πŸ˜€ You’re still friends and everyone’s happy. πŸ™‚

YOUR job isn’t over, though… It takes chicks a while to get over relationships, so be a gentleman and don’t sport your new chick in public until you’re sure your ex is cool with it. πŸ˜‰