Bill Cammack

One of my most popular posts is 2008’s “How To Break Up With Your Girl”. It seems like every single day, somebody wants to know how to break up with a girl….

***** SPOILER ALERT for Real World: DC ***** If you don’t want to know what happened last night, stop reading now! :D

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Being a professional at getting rid of chicks while maximizing their potential to feel good about it, I was sitting there like :O watching Josh dump his girlfriend on RW:DC last night. It was horrific. It was brutal.

I know how brutal it was because I did just about the exact same thing back in the day. Read the rest of this entry »

Lindsey Chen (@LindseyChen) & Bill Cammack (@BillCammack)

Lindz & Bill present 10 Warning Signs That You Should Dump His Ass!

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Morning-After Conduct

Lots of times… Sometimes evidenced in this very blog, hehe.. Women stay in relationships that they would be better off getting out of.

In some cases, it’s not obvious to them what’s going on, but in others, their Significant Other is waving these gigantic red flags at them that they either refuse to see or are unable to recognize for some reason.

As usual, it’s Lindz & Bill to the rescue, with ten warning signs that should make y’all go “HMMMMMMMMMM…..”. Let us know what you think in the comments section, below…

Lindz

1. He books a trip home to see his parents and when he calls you, he says “Actually I’ve decided to stay… um.. indefinitely.”

To me, this says, “I don’t really give a $^#% about you, or what you think. All I care about is myself.” He doesn’t even bother to discuss it with you or see how you feel. Mind you, it IS his decision ultimately, but come on, man… be respectful and courteous. I’ll give it to him that he may be stressed or frustrated over something, which may or may not have something to do with you, but is that how he deals with his issues? Just ups and leaves? Well, do yourself a favor and leave this loser. Read the rest of this entry »

This is not a continuation of “Online Dating Tactics”. This is a response to a BlogHer post by Zandria M, entitled “Dating: ‘Tis the Season”.

Zandria: I’ve heard that more breakups occur during the holiday season than any other time of year. [...snip...] The thing is, though, I haven’t seen a drop in the amount of people looking for dates online. In fact, I’m receiving more expressions of interest than I did when I first signed up over the summer.

hehehe Excellent read, Zandria. :) Let me tell you what’s going on.

You explained why you’re getting more expressions of interest now than you did over the summer. Guys are dumping their girls for the holiday season OR they’ve already DECIDED that they’re dumping their girls, so they’re trolling for more women ahead of time. It’s like being a freelancer in a work situation. As a video editor, I get MORE work when people get fired or companies downsize. You’re experiencing the same thing with online dating.

The reasons you gave were spot-on. Basically, the holiday season is an expensive time to have a girlfriend, so guys tend to break up permanently or at least until the season’s over and take their girls back in January.

Another reason is that there are a lot of holiday parties right now, with a lot of DRUNK WOMEN at them. That’s where you want to be, instead of stuck at some party with a chick you already know… or even WORSE, over @ her relatives’ crib! :( This is PRIME TIME for meeting women and starting new relationships. Also, if you start a new relationship NOW, it’s too early for her to expect an expensive gift from you. :)

Zandria: The thing is, though, the more dating you do, the more instances of “Did he really do/say that?” tend to emerge.

You need to catalogue those increasing instances of “Did he really do/say that?” that you’re experiencing, because those are brief glimpses into what a lot of guys are actually thinking. It’s really the little things that give people away.

Zandria: I have had several “interesting” experiences.

For one thing, a lot of guys seem to think they’re six feet tall. I]ve spoken to a number of women who back up this theory of Male Online Dating Height Exaggeration. Guys who really are tall — say, over 6′2″ — tend not to lie. But if I see a profile that says the guy is 6′0″, I’m going to assume he’s at least an inch or two shorter than that. (If I’m 5′9″ and wearing not-very-tall heels, and the dude is also wearing shoes, and we’re looking each other straight in the eye? I’m sorry, but you’re not six feet tall.)

As far as the “six feet tall” thing, hahaha Online dating sites are set up in categories. This is how women and men get to choose whom they see in their search results. If a guy honestly states that he’s 5′9″ and a lot of women check the box that says 6′ or over, he doesn’t show up in the search results and he doesn’t get that date. Or, in some cases, where the site does the matchup FOR you, he doesn’t make the “compatible” list, so, again… HE doesn’t get that date. Since the whole point of him being on the service is to meet women that he wants to date or have sex with or whatever, he wants to meet as many as possible, so he LIES and says he’s 6′ tall. It’s not that he doesn’t REALIZE that he’s not that tall hahahahaha. It’s not that he has delusions about his height. He’s merely tricking you into going out on a date with him, when he’s actually below your selected height requirement.

It’s all in the game. :)

Oh… and apply the same logic to his salary.

Zandria: Another thing: some guys need to be more up-front about important matters that affect possible future relationships before you take the time to meet them in person. I had this one guy wait until our first meeting before he asked me, “Did I tell you that I’m about to be deployed to Iraq for seven months?”

As far as guys being “more up-front about important matters that affect possible future relationships”, nobody’s thinking about “possible future relationships” until they meet you in person. The way it works is, guys get what they can get… NOW… and if it continues, fine. So, if dude’s about to leave town, he’s looking for something to do UNTIL he leaves town. Similar to the “not 6-feet-tall” guy, he’s not going to ruin his chance to try to get some or have a temporary girlfriend by letting you know he’s not physically available for a LTR.

Once he meets you, it’s a different story. He might feel like “this one’s a keeper” and THEN come clean about his current status and future plans. I guess I should have put ‘clean’ in quotes, because STDs are another thing guys (AND gals) don’t tend to mention on online dating sites.

Zandria: Then there are the things that just make me go “Hmm…” Like the guy who came across as really formal and straight-laced, but when I called him out on it (yes, I will call you out if it’s warranted) he assured me, “I do have a dark and twisted side.”

As far as dudes announcing that they “have a dark and twisted side”, that normally means that they don’t, but they’d be willing to make one up so as to not get rejected for being boring. Also, “dark and twisted” is relative to his own experience. I know women who think doggie-style is dark and twisted, hahahaha :D The point is that guys are going to SAY whatever they have to say in order to stay on track to hooking up with you. If they’re wackos, they’re going to say they’re not. If they’re boring, they’re going to say they’re not.

If you want to know if a guy’s “twisted” for real, look in his eyes and then ask him what he wants to do to you.

So, yeah, that’s “how we do”. Lie as much as you need to in online dating so you get a chance to run your IRL game on her. Best-case scenario, the 5′9″ broke-as-a-joke, unemotionally available, boring dude gains the physical company of a female he finds attractive for one or more evenings. Worst-case scenario, she walks out the door as soon as she sees you, because you’re not what she wanted… except that’s the same outcome as if you hadn’t lied on your application in the first place and she never chose you, so who cares?

It’s all in the game. :D

~Bill

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OK Fellaz… Today, we’re going to talk about how to break up with your girlfriend or the chick you’re seeing or dating or whatever you’d like to call it.

Actually, let’s start with something easy. Here’s what a female needs to do if she wants to get rid of her boyfriend:

Now that we’ve covered that, :D let’s get on to the tough part, which is a guy getting his girlfriend to vamoose.

This is a very delicate process, assuming you still like her as a person and want to retain her as a friend. It’s even further complicated if you just happen to be a nice guy that doesn’t enjoy breaking hearts. You have to figure out how to extract her from the “romantic” aspect of the relationship WITHOUT her throwing out the friendship aspect along with it.

There’s a biological reason why chicks tend to overdo it when it comes to relationships. It’s not their fault. :) According to “Go Ask Alice”:

“Unlike men, who produce new sperm daily throughout most of their lifetime, women are born with all their eggs in one — okay, two baskets (ovaries). To be more precise, a woman is born with about one to two million immature eggs, or follicles, in her ovaries.

Throughout her life, the vast majority of follicles will die through a process known as atresia. Atresia begins at birth and continues throughout the course of the woman’s reproductive life. When a woman reaches puberty and starts to menstruate, only about 400,000 follicles remain. With each menstrual cycle, a thousand follicles are lost and only one lucky little follicle will actually mature into an ovum (egg), which is released into the fallopian tube, kicking off ovulation. That means that of the one to two million follicles, only about 400 will ever mature.

Relatively little or no follicles remain at menopause, which usually begins when a woman is between 48-55 years of age. The remaining follicles are unlikely to mature and become viable eggs because of the hormonal changes that come along with menopause.”

So, basically, women are biologically inclined to be selective as far as whom they have sex with because they have a finite number of opportunities to have kids. When you add that to the pressure of patriarchal societies for women to only have sex with one guy or be “called out they name”, you can see why it’s so tough to get rid of a chick once she’s decided you’re “the one”.

So now, you’re in a situation where you don’t want to delete her entirely… just roll her back to a previous version of your relationship… You know, like going back to Tiger from Leopard.

First of all, to do this AT ALL, you have to know WHY your girl likes you. Most guys don’t know this, as evidenced by their paranoid behavior, trying (unsuccessfully) to keep tabs on their girl and keep her from giving some to the next man. There’s no reason to worry about your girl hanging out with other guys IF you’re offering her something unique that other guys aren’t. If you got the rap by talking about your car and your house, you may lose out to a guy that has a BOAT and a house, but that’s an entirely different issue.

So, assuming you have this list of great qualities that you have that made her choose you instead of the other guys that were trying to get on, use that list to figure out which qualities you need to subtract from your personality in order to get her to start seeing you as NOT “the one” and shift her romantic focus to some other guy or several other guys. :D

Once you’ve got it figured out, change your personality and hold the line. There’s no telling how long this is going to take, so you may have to remain “in character” for months. Eventually, she’ll question her own judgement about selecting YOU as “the one”, and then the questions start… “Where is this relationship going?” “What are we to each other?” “What are we doing?” blah blah blah Just remain friendly towards her and blase about your “relationship” and eventually, the understanding that YOU are not “the one” will solidify for her, and she’ll be ready and willing to break up with you. [insert dancing smiley]

Now, of course the chicks are going to complain that this is underhanded and sneaky and cowardly. :) In reality, it’s in THEIR best interest. This way, THEY get to break up with YOU and give themselves the props for ejecting from a situation that THEY figured out wasn’t working FOR THEM. Meanwhile, you know the truth, and everybody’s happy! :D

Just don’t lull yourself to sleep while you’re waiting for her to dump you. When it happens, it’s going to be out of the blue. It’s going to be some time and place that you’re not ready for her to break up with you, so you need to be vigilant. It’s CRITICAL how you “handle” the breakup. If your demeanor is OH, THANK *GOD*!!! IT’S ABOUT TIME! :D then you did all this for nothing. :D

When she lets you know what time it is, you want to be a combination of confused, dismayed and “lost”. Don’t overdo it, though. You don’t want her to change her mind! :O Let her know that you understand why she has to do what she has to do and that you still love and care about her “as a friend”. Make sure everything’s smooth between you, and you’ve successfully rolled her back. :D You’re still friends and everyone’s happy. :)

YOUR job isn’t over, though… It takes chicks a while to get over relationships, so be a gentleman and don’t sport your new chick in public until you’re sure your ex is cool with it. ;)

DatingGenius