People Have To Know Who You Are

I just became aware of the latest scandal involving an internet bigwig. Some people who used to hang out with this dude ALL THE TIME are now saying “I knew he was a creep for a long time” and/or “I heard horrific rumors about him for a long time”.

I find this situation funny, yet educational, for a few reasons. One of them is that the people that “heard rumors” didn’t say JACK **** until this dude was publicly called out for his rumored behavior, way after the fact of when the situations actually occured, and with, so far, zero evidence of anything occurring at all, other than the word of this guy’s ex-girlfriend, who happens to be his accuser.

What’s funny about that is that by speaking up NOW, you highlight that you FAILED TO or REFUSED to speak up between when you heard these rumors and when the public allegations surfaced = not fly. Continue reading “People Have To Know Who You Are”

Jersey Shore s03 e07 [Part 01]

“Jersey Shore”, Season 03, Episode 07 was entirely painful to watch. πŸ™‚

I mean, I really didn’t want to watch some of it. I wanted to fast-forward to another section, but I really needed to absorb all of the tomfoolery in order to get a proper grasp on what I feel happened.

Where’s The Disclaimer?

First of all, right off the bat.. MTV has done it again, completely whitewashing Female -> Male violence… AGAIN. I was already tired of this, as I’ve mentioned in previous posts, but the saga continues. Continue reading “Jersey Shore s03 e07 [Part 01]”

Dating Above Your Station

So, The Kid was invited out to lunch the other day by a female friend of mine. This was *not* a date, but the issues are relevant to dating, because the only difference is I wasn’t trying to get laid…. So the way it went down, she ended up selecting the place…

Bill & KVThis is important because I like to keep it simple when I eat. I normally stick to your garden-variety American food, Hamburgers, Hot Dogs, Pizza, Shrimp Fried Rice, you know, regular food.

So, if I had picked the spot, none of this would have happened to me. πŸ™‚

So, I’m like “uh-oh” off the bat, because the place she picked had an Italian-sounding name, and it wasn’t Sbarro’s or Olive Garden. So I knew I was about to be outclassed. That’s what this post is about. Grace Under Pressure. How to carry yourself when you’re that proverbial fish out of water.

Be Punctual (on time)

So when you’re going somewhere to meet a gal, it’s extremely in your best interest to be AT LEAST on time, if not EARLY. I covered this base by exiting the subway 15 minutes before meetup time and lounging within striking distance of the restaurant. I needed to not get there first, because the reservation was in HER name. I needed to not get there LATE, because The Kid is courteous to his lady-friends *bows* πŸ˜€ So I kept my eye on the clock on my G1, while Twittering, eMailing & AIMing to pass the time.

Two minutes until my mark, I was standing across the street from the restaurant doing a final systems check on my smartphone. Let me switch my usual wallpaper of me licking some chick’s neck to a sunset or something. Check! Let me delete this text message thread from this other chick. Check! Let me terminate all processes so the wrong website doesn’t come up if I choose to show her something on my browser. Check!!! I was ready. Continue reading “Dating Above Your Station”

Twitter, Mind Your Business!

Does anyone know why Twitter automatically shortens URLs?

It seems to me that if you’re within your 140 character limit, Twitter should mind its own business and leave what you wrote alone.

For example, I just typed into and also into TweetDeck and they both resulted in a tinyurl of

Example #1:
Example #2:

So since my statement would have fit within the 140 characters, how come I received a tinyurl?


Bill Cammack is The MillipedeThe main reason I bring this up is that a lot of people won’t click on shortened links with very good reason. You don’t know what site you’re being directed to.

This isn’t just an issue on Twitter, but on forums, newsgroups, etc.

So what happens if I want people to know that I’m directing them to my own personal site, where they’ve already been 100 times and know what they’re likely to see?

In case you don’t know what a URL shortener does, it changes a link with a long string, such as into something shorter, like so that it’s easier for people to remember, re-type or fit inside whatever character limit you have (such as Twitter’s 140 character limit). Continue reading “Twitter, Mind Your Business!”

Political Sex Scandals

Add John Edwards to the list of politicians who were discovered to have had sex outside of their marriage, including Eliot Spitzer, Bill Clinton, David Paterson, etc, etc, etc…… *yawn*

I’m going to try to get in and out of this one, haha no pun intended, rather quickly, because I’m actually completely bored of the topic of people “cheating” in relationships. The fact of the matter is that human beings operate off of FREE WILL and do whatever they want WHENever they want, regardless of what they told you last month, last week, last night or the last telephone conversation you had with them.

Politicians, however, are in a “special circumstances” situation… at least, if they’re aiming for the top…. which… of course… is to become the President of the United States of America.

George Bush is the forty-third and current PotUS. Out of those 43 men, only ONE wasn’t married. That was James Buchanan.

James “Jimbo” Buchanan, Jr. was the fifteenth President of the United States, between the years of 1857 and 1861…. That’s EIGHTEEN HUNDRED AND FIFTY-SEVEN! πŸ˜€ hahahaha That’s the middle of the NINETEENTH CENTURY! There was not ONE unmarried PotUS in the entire Twentieth Century. The first and last one was approximately ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY YEARS AGO! πŸ˜€ There is absolutely no end to this trend in sight…. I mean, it’s not even a “trend”. James Buchanan was an anomaly. Getting married is virtually a prerequisite for being elected President.

I’m sure you can imagine that this puts an incredible amount of stress on young male politicians to get married whether they want to or not. On top of that, they need to do it early, so that they can be seen as upstanding members of society and receive the endorsements that are going to eventually carry them to the big show.

Meanwhile, in every other profession on the planet, you can be single and prosper. You can have as many chicks as you want and all people are going to say is “Go, Man, Go!” or hate on you because you have stuff that they wish they had and are never going to get.

The reason why being a politician creates “special circumstances” is that you’re being groomed to take charge and control of really important things….. like… the Armed Forces?… And at the same time, you’re NOT supposed to do what YOU feel like doing. I mean… It would be one thing if you had NO money, NO prestige, NO power, NO fame and NO opportunity, then, yeah, sure… be happy you got one girl ever in life and leave it at that. Being a politician, though, requires shouldering ‘heavy’ responsibilities and making hard decisions that affect many, many people. Politicians are GROOMED to impose their will on others. That’s the only way to properly represent the people that elected you to office. What are you there for, if not to effect change and advocate for what you believe in and what YOU want for your constituents?

So, politicians are between a rock and a hard place. They can either get married and have career potential or NOT get married and have women that they’re physically attracted to and enjoy having sex with as a trade-off for their highest professional aspirations in life. It’s actually worse than that, because some politicians probably only became popular with the ladies AFTER they had positions of power, which means AFTER they were already married with children. How wack is THAT? πŸ˜€ When it’s FINALLY time for you to get on, you’re not supposed to do it. When chicks are FINALLY throwing panties at you, like they never did when you were an A+ student GEEK in high school & college, NOW, you’re not supposed to hook up with them. NOW that you can afford to spend $4,000 a pop on imported hookers, people literally want to make a Federal Case out of it.

I have to pause for the cause, here hahaha. I was in DC one time for my sister’s friend’s birthday party in some kind of pie-in-the-sky hotel where the center of the bar/club in the penthouse stays in one place and the outside slowly rotates, so you can sit at your table and get a 360 degree view of the surrounding area… beautiful! πŸ˜€ So anyway… I had to go downstairs and come back up to the party, and I was waiting to transfer to the elevator that went to the PH. This middle-aged dude comes out of a room and sits down in a chair to wait for the same elevator. Nothing unusual. Next thing I know, this ONE other middle-aged dude ushers no fewer than SIX much-younger Asian chicks (yet obviously legal) out into the hallway, dressed to the NINES, and they flock around this dude in the chair like he was like… I dunno… Brad Pitt? Richard Gere? hahaha So I’m thinking WTF is going on here? πŸ˜€ So we go to the party, and I’m hanging out with my sister and her friends at the bar, and I spot that same one dude on the dance floor with ALL SIX CHICKS AROUND HIM! πŸ˜€ That’s when I got hip to the fact that “Money Talks and Bullshit Walks” and he had obviously “ordered out”.

Now, I don’t know a thing about that dude as far as whether he was a politician or business man or whatever, but that’s how some dudes are living. Doing what they want to do, when they want to do it and spending their money on what they enjoy… in that particular case, women. That’s GOT to be hard for poliicians to listen to on the back 9 of the golf course… especially when THEY probably have more money and prestige than the guys livin’ it up!

Does this EXCUSE them? Nope. They still made the agreement. They accepted the commitment that comes along with marriage. If they get caught out there doing their thing, their character takes a hit and that might very well signal the end of their political careers anyway. Politicians should be as accountable as anyone else for not being people of their word. It just seems like people are MORE shocked when its a politician involved in these monthly scandals, when basically, it’s like Chris Rock said, “Ò€œA man is basically as faithful as his optionsÒ€.

Speaking of “Special Circumstances”… What’s the deal with making the wives do the perp-walk with them to the podium? Hand-in-hand, merrily they walk to center-stage while he camera flashes go off, and the wife stands there for however long she has to, looking like “Picture of Rejection”, while her husband “admits” what has already been in the tabloids for days, weeks, months or years. I mean, seriously. Someone needs to revamp the speeches they write for these guys and put a couple of lines in for the wife, too.

I know what the point is. It’s showing the world that a) you didn’t get dumped when your wife found out what you did, and b) that the most slighted person in this situation has apparently forgiven you, so everyone else should just ease back and fuhgeddabouddit. Unfortunately, that only works when your wife is SMILING and appears to be HAPPY to be standing next to you. When they look shellshocked, because you dragged them on stage one day after they found out what you did on the television news or your daughter came home from junior high school with the story, it really doesn’t help your campaign for sympathy.

Anyway… As tough as it is to run successful companies, it’s got to be tougher to run cities, states and countries. We’re bred as Americans to take what we want and strive to be the best at whatever we do. It’s just not natural to expect the leaders of leaders of leaders to not indulge in the finer things in life. Having said that, we would like to imagine that our leaders are beyond reproach. I think this is the key to why people are so amazed every time this happens. We’d like to believe that our politicians believe what we believe, which is why we elect them to advocate for us. We’d like to believe that no matter how much power, money or fame our leaders accumulate, they’ll still carry themselves with the humility of a West Virginian lumberjack who goes to church with his wife, plays XBOX with his son and participates in the annual log-rolling competition. But if you think about it….

log rolling

What’s the point of being the President if you can’t get blown under the table? :/

Serial Monogamy

I’m not impressed with Serial Monogamy.

Call it what it is. You’re messing with someone, and then you’re not.

It’s interesting how some people pride themselves on only hooking up with people they’re in a relationship with… but then… getting into or out of a relationship with them is basically instantaneous. Sure… EVERY relationship ends instantaneously…. It’s ON and then it’s OFF. I’m just saying that it’s a trip how serial monogamists front like every time they’re in a relationship, it’s going to last forever, and then it doesn’t, and then the next one’s supposed to last forever. Meanwhile, they have their psychological excuse for hoing (male or female).

I was first introduced to this concept when I was around 13. Not the technical definition, of course, but the behavior as it pertains to dating. I remember asking a friend of mine about some girl, and he basically informed me that they had broken up, and now he was dating this other chick we knew. That lasted about a week, and then he was dating another chick, but meanwhile other friends of ours had switched off as well. The effect of this was that at some point, ‘everyone’ dated ‘everyone’. What was interesting about this was that there weren’t any politics involved. Politics arrived later, around 16, when people started worrying about status and popularity.

By “no politics”, I mean that there wasn’t any drama involved with a guy, friend or foe, going out with a girl you just broke up with the other day. There wasn’t any drama when she’d break up with that guy and go BACK out with some guy she dated before, or start messing with some new guy. There wasn’t any possessiveness over chicks at all. It was just you were dating someone, or you weren’t.

Once politics became involved, there was a form of status attributed to exclusive ownership of a particular person. There was also a stigma attached to people that messed around, but weren’t in relationships. As usual, because we live in a patriarchal society, the females caught the worst of this, being called hoes, tramps, sluts, easy, etc. For the guys, it’s all sport. How many chicks (if you’re interested in more than one at a time) can you keep in ‘Deep Check’ simultaneously? How many numbers can you pull? How many chicks can you screw?

The addition of politics/drama to the dating scene created the environment in which serial monogamy thrives. From the chicks’ side, they don’t want the stigma of being “loose”… by either definition, hahaha, um, anyway… so they make being in a relationship a requirement for hooking up. This way, no matter how many guys they mess with, they were always in a relationship, so it’s sanctioned, and they can’t be criticized for giving some to their boyfriends (even if she was only with each guy for a month or less… week or less?… day or less?).

Meanwhile, the guys evolved with the girls. Eventually, it became clear that this relationship thing was getting in the way of getting on, so guys learned that it was easier to lie and feign being in a relationship with a chick or three in order to keep them useful. This is one reason why relationships break up suddenly, and it seems like the guy had a ‘change of heart’. He goes from faking being in a relationship with her to not caring about her at all, instantaneously. If his incentive was sex, then as soon as he’s not interested in having sex with her anymore, or he’d much rather hook up with one of his other girlfriends, his entire demeanor towards her changes.

The worst-case scenario of this is the combination of a guy that wants a one night stand with a girl that only wants to give it up to “the right guy” or “the one”. The woman thinks she’s an excellent judge of character, so as he jumps through the hoops, she validates him. Once she decides he’s legit and “the one”, she finally gives it up… then he disappears… or, at least stops taking her calls. This doesn’t even get to the stage of serial monogamy, because his entire goal was to hit it one time… Once. There’s no way she could have known that, because there’s no way he would have TOLD her that.

For some odd reason, women think they can judge this in guys. It’s completely unfounded. How many times have you heard a woman say that she was surprised that some dude hit it and quit it? πŸ˜€ Compare that to the number of times that you’ve heard of a woman telling a guy she knew he was just trying to have sex with her and he admitted it.

So now, we live in this evolved culture. People still want to do what they want to do, but they don’t want to be talked about like dogs, so they find ways around their behaviors. They utilize serial monogamy to act like they’re just poor judges of character and that their relationships continually FAIL, to their great surprise and dismay. Meanwhile, to them, “significant other” simply means “the person that they publicly admit to having sex with at this point in time”. There’s nothing wrong with that, but since THEY see something wrong with it, they use these mechanisms to put up a front.

Another unbalanced aspect of serial monogamy is that women eventually face biological clock issues. The timing of this is critical, because if she’s currently dating a serial monogamist and decides she wants to have kids, there could be positive or negative consequences as a result of flipping the script. It’s entirely possible that the guy had no intentions EVER of having kids with her or moving in with her or even having sex with her once she got out of shape. Suddenly, he has the choice of honestly breaking off the relationship, as Laure suggests, or lying and acting like he’s interested in what she’s interested in so he can keep tappin’ that.

In a perfect world, he would ‘release her from her contract’ so she can go ‘get her biology on!’ πŸ˜€ … Then again… In a perfect world, people would Stop Frontin’ and do what they wanted to do without hiding behind meaningless titles in the first place.

Interview Women Like A CEO

If you have a boring personality, you can go out with any chick, and it’s cool. It’s not so easy for edgy guys that like to do fun & interesting stuff on the spur of the moment. It’s easy for your natural persona to clash with hers instead of combining with hers in a way that both of you have a fantastic time. There are obvious limitations to some chicks’ abilities to go with the flow. She might not be into taking pictures, for instance. If that’s a way that you express yourself and inform your friends and family of what you’re doing with your one life that we’re going to get, then that’s a clash. In order for that to be a win-win, you have to either NOT hang out with her or NOT take pictures of her when you’re hanging out.

Another example is PDA (Public Displays of Affection). You might be into it, and she isn’t. The only win-win is a compromise between each of your comfort levels, which normally means NO PDA whatsoever. Then again, if your point in spending time with her is to “Display Affection” ;), you just don’t take her out in public from the giddyap.

PDA… Personal Digital Assistant?

Anyway… Chicks tend to go out with boring guys. This is because boring guys are stable… Easily controlled… Less likely to cheat, either because they’re “not that type” or they’re too busted or weird to get another girl anyway. Chicks like stuff like that for some reason. They’d rather mess with a guy they know they’re not going to lose anytime soon than a guy they know they’re really physically attracted to but don’t have a snowball’s chance in Hell of controlling >:D

So they THINK their guys are edgy, but they’re really not… Not by a longshot. Unfortunately, they expect YOU to be just like the boring dudes. “Guilt by Association” rears its ugly head! πŸ˜€ You have to make sure you distinguish yourself as separate from that pack. Otherwise, when you’re chilling at a birthday party, drinking and flirting with her @ the karaoke bar and eventually, you pull up to her bumper, she’s like “WHAT THE #&*$ WAS THAT??? :O” as if something strange is happening.

A ‘quick and dirty’ way to distinguish yourself to chicks is to apply a form of shock therapy. Scare the living daylights out of them, as far as relationships go. Make sure they’re aware that you’re capable of ANY-THING at ANY-TIME. πŸ˜€ Make them wary of leaving their little sisters OR their mothers around you. This does THEM the favor of opening their minds to the potentials of life, interaction and fun, while doing YOU the favor of clearing the path so that when you DO do something edgy with her, she’s just relieved that it’s not any of the WORSE things that she already imagined you doing to her. πŸ™‚

Strangely enough, I started thinking about this because of this tech video. Watch the first 1:30:

So I’m watching this, and I realized that the same thing he does to potential employees… I do that to chicks. πŸ™‚ Sure, you want to be friendly with them and all that… However, if they’re looking to get past friendship, you really want to scare the BEJESUS out of them, or else, similar to janky website design, your relationship’s going to be *BROKEN* practically immediately.

I had to watch it again. I use *EXACTLY* the same style. First of all, don’t try to hook me up unless you KNOW me. This is similar to the part where he says “I interview every single person that comes to work for me” and “It really leads to some problems in the company, like if I’m on a trip for 5 days and we need to bring somebody in and say, you know what? If they sit with me, and I can look them in the eye…” That’s the whole thing. You can tell when you look her in the eye whether she understands who she’s looking at or not. It’s a form of concentrated attention, the way she focuses on you and pays attention to what you’re saying… It’s like she’s fascinated by you, yet afraid to turn her back on you at the same time.

This is another reason you need to use shock therapy on chicks. When they’re talking about you to their girlfriends (and they ALWAYS talk about you to their girlfriends), you want them saying THE RIGHT THINGS that bring their girls to the table ready for battle. You don’t want all this “oh, he’s a nice guy” and “oh, he’s so educated and cute and smart” because then, their girls meet you with visions of kids, dogs and Volvos in their heads, so now you have to do DOUBLE the work, to deconstruct them mentally and then REconstruct them and THEN see if they’re compatible with you now that they know what the real deal is.

So in the case of hiring someone, you want your employees to know the drill when it comes to working for your company. In the case of hookups, you want your ground troops traveling with the right information so the chicks they bring back either love you or hate you. Still, hookups suck unless the chick involved really understands what you’re about, so it’s best to “interview every single person that comes to work for you” and “look them in the eye” and hit ’em with the worst-case scenario. You can see her demeanor change, right on the spot. She’ll either think “I’d never go out with him” or “Oh, he thinks he’s a bad-ass… He doesn’t know who *I* AM!”, which will help you to decide to move forward with the interview or change the subject / bail out entirely.

Actually, there’s a third potential reaction, this kind of simpleton stare like she doesn’t understand what you just said. Depending on what you like in chicks you mess with, that’s either FANTASTIC or horrible. πŸ˜€

So when you’re hitting her with the worst-case scenarios, it’s not actually important what she says. What’s important is HOW SHE LOOKS as soon as her brain comprehends what you just told her hahahaha πŸ˜€ The stages go like this after you finish speaking:

1) She hasn’t received all of the data yet
2) She has all the words, but she’s composing it into what it actually means
3) She realizes what you said and subconsciously reacts to it
4) She starts thinking about how she feels about what you said
5) She formulates her response
6) She delivers her response

The main thing you’re looking for is her subconscious reaction. IME, it’s usually “He’s kidding”, “Maybe I didn’t hear him correctly”, “That’s crazy”, “Life doesn’t work like that”, “There’s no way that works”, “Who’d fall for THAT?”, “Do guys really think that way?”, “That’s funny”, “I’d love to see him do that in real life”, etc etc etc. This is way more important than her eventual statement. She can say all she wants that what you said was messed up, but you already saw that gleam in her eye that she thought it was funny when she initially GOT what you were saying. She can say all she wants that she doesn’t care or what you said didn’t affect her, but you saw her get that “oh my God!” realization in her eyes of who she’s looking at. It’s like you mentally see her get up and walk away, but she physically sits there anyway to keep up appearances. But you can clearly feel her “leave you”.

So, yeah… If you’re an edgy guy, make sure you interview chicks like a business. Gauge their ability to hang with you by their reactions to your throwing the kitchen sink at them. If they pass, you know you can fight with them and still love them and vice versa. If they FAIL![EPIC], they might still be useful as friends, except *only* when you’re layin’ back in the cut NOT “doin’ you”. Same rules apply. Some people, you do business with. Some people, you have drinks with. Some people, you can do both with. Put her through the shock and watch her eyes, body language and breathing patterns. Turn up the heat level after level and when you’re convinced of her character and fortitude, turn it off. Let her be. She’s earned your respect and progressed to the next level.

Props are awarded. It’s “Miller Time”… Cheers! πŸ˜€

When she’s ready… She’ll look like this:

Mentally Tested, Battle-Ready Female: 2008 Edition


Truth vs. Relationships

Reader Lisa writes:

Lisa: “I use the number as a guide to tell the odds if he is clean or not. I would love to know how many woman a man is messing with CURRENTLY but guys will lie about that.
Any tips on how to get a man to tell the truth about how many women he’s messing with currently? I wouldn’t care about the past if I he is being honest about the present.”

Lisa, πŸ™‚

Here’s how to get a guy to tell the truth about how many women he’s messing with currently…..


wait for it…… (yes, Tyme, I bit your style. Too Bad So Sad)

Date an honest guy.

Thanks for reading. Enjoy your evening! πŸ˜€

Masako, Masami, Bill
Random picture of Masako, Masami & Bill, having nothing to do with this article and linked to my video player page. πŸ™‚

That’s it. That’s all. That’s the ENTIRE key to getting a guy to tell the truth. It has to be a part of his character from the get. If you create an alliance with someone, you have to start with the proper foundation, or you’re building your house on sand… if not QUICKSAND.

Women have lots of completely wrong beliefs about relationships that make them susceptible to the simplest deception.

For instance, “I love you” is one of the most devastating things you can say to a woman because she attaches meaning to it on her own. It doesn’t have to mean JACK to you when you SAY it, because she’s conditioned by movies, television and “old wives’ tales” to believe that there’s no way a guy could say that to her if it wasn’t the truth. Meanwhile, guys know this. We see you coming. It’s no tougher for us to say “I love you” than it is for us to say “pass the salt”.

So… Easy way to get laid? Tell a chick “I love you”.

I guess that was a bonus tip hahaha πŸ˜€ I meant to talk about truth and ended up talking about deception.

The only way to “get a man to tell the truth” is… you can’t.

YOU have ZERO control over the situation. Here’s the proof… Let’s say your little sister visits you and stays over your crib. Let’s say you COUGHfoolishlyCOUGH leave your man alone with her. When you come back and ask your boyfriend if he tapped that while you were gone, assuming he answers the question AT ALL, there are only two things he can say. YES or NO. Now… There are only two things he can be… A liar or a truth-teller. Here’s the matrix:

He hit it and he’s a truth-teller: “Yes, I screwed your sister.”
He didn’t hit it and he’s a truth-teller: “Nope”
He didn’t hit it and he’s a liar: “Nope”
He dogged your sister ALL DAY LONG and he’s a liar: “Nope”

See how that works? Your finding out the truth has nothing to do with what actually happened. It has to do with who he was as a person before you met him. It has to do with whether he values the truth over doing what he wants to do in life… In this case, screwing your sister. πŸ˜€

The ‘problem’ with the above scenario is that in the case of the guy being a truth-teller, he already KNOWS he’s a truth-teller. He already knows that if you ask him if he messed with your sister, he’s not going to lie to you. Therefore… he’s NOT.GOING.TO.DO.IT! πŸ˜€ The same thing that makes him tell the truth is the same thing that’s going to prevent him from screwing your sister, so the only situation where a guy is going to say “Yes, I screwed your sister” is a virtual impossibility. Approximately 0.00%

Relationships *SHOULD* be built on truth, but for the most part, they’re built on mutually parasitic behavior. A guy sees a girl he’s attracted to and wants to hook up with her. A girl sees a guy she wants to be in a relationship with and hooks up with him. They both have their goals in elevating the other person past “friend” status to “significant other”. Truth has nothing to do with relationships, and is rarely discussed at all. When was the last time you asked someone you were dating “are you a liar?”….. Think about it….. Let’s go back to our matrix:

He’s a truth-teller: “No, I am not a liar”
He’s a liar: “No, I am not a liar”

You see how that works? The liar is going to LIE about being a liar and represent himself as a truth-teller, hahahahaha πŸ˜€

So, like I said, there’s no way to GET someone to tell the truth. All you can do is spend time with someone that’s naturally a truth-teller. You need someone that values truth ABOVE the current status of his relationship to you. If he went to that bachelor party and had girls all over him all night, he’s gonna come back home and tell you nothing happened and he was bored… Like playing poker or something… Electronic Monopoly! Why should he tell you the truth so you can get upset about it? Why would he decrease his physical access to you? What’s HIS benefit in telling you the truth? WHY should he?

This is why you want the guy to value the truth OVER his relationship to you. You want him to be willing to lose you if it means that he remains truthful to himself and congruent with his stated set of values. A friend of mine is like that. He has tons of chances to “cheat”, but he hasn’t and he WON’T, because he wouldn’t be able to look his girl in the face and lie to her. That’s cool. πŸ˜€ That’s admirable, IMO. I also consider it an anomaly.

The other thing that gets females into trouble is trusting “women’s intuition”. πŸ˜€

Basically, y’all convince yourselves that you’re good judges of character. The effect of this is that once you believe a guy, he can sell you ANYTHING and you’ll eat it up. To disbelieve him is to disbelieve yourself because of cognitive dissonance. This is why y’all KNOW you’re in a TRASH relationship, but hang on to it anyway. To admit that your man is TRASH means that *YOU* are a POOR JUDGE OF CHARACTER, so you hang on as long as you can in the hopes that eventually, you will prove yourself right.

My only advice to women in the area of trust and truth is Checks & Balances. Don’t date guys that nobody knows! πŸ˜€ There needs to be a “chain of custody”, like they DIDN’T HAVE in the O.J. Simpson trial. SOMEBODY needs to be able to vouch for this dude. Somebody YOU trust.

There are lots of chicks that ended up on The Maury Povich Show because they THOUGHT they knew something about their man…. but they DIDN’T.



While TRUST is the most crucial necessity in any form of relationship, ALLIANCE is what that relationship rests upon… I mean, not even ‘rests’… Alliance is all that you actually have. Well… you don’t even necessarily HAVE it…..

According to Niccolo Machiavelli, Ò€œIt is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be bothÒ€. Fear and love are both reasons for someone to align themselves with you. Not fear of YOU, necessarily. Fear of being alone. Fear of not being able to say they’re in a relationship. Fear for a woman of not having kids before she reaches her 40s. Fear for a guy of not coming home to prepared meals & definite sex. These motivations behind alliances LOOK the same as love, but the focus is different. The person is avoiding pain instead of pursuing pleasure.

The problem with that is that you won’t know what the motivation is for someone’s alliance with you until it’s tested… As long as everything’s going well, you might feel that the other person’s in your corner… you’re on the same page… moving in the same direction. As soon as there’s an issue, scripts may become flipped and “true colors” may become apparent. Of course, there are lots of cases where the person’s motivations are respectable, and situations can either be worked out, or both parties can agree to disagree and move on in whatever new direction this relationship is going. In other cases, there are certain ploys you can count on your friend/girlfriend/wife/whatever to resort to in order to try to get their way.

Guilt Trips

These are all natural reactions and often played out ‘in the heat of the moment’, except that that very HEAT is where people lose control of themselves… I should say where they lose control of the front they were putting up because they feared losing their relationship to you or at the very least feared losing status in your eyes, even if the relationship continued. Once that front is removed, you get to see… if you’re looking closely enough and have your wits about you while things are getting ugly, who you’re really dealing with and what they’re really thinking about you. It may not even be personal. They may think the same way about everyone… It’s just that now YOU know that you’re not exempt. You’re not special to them. They were aligned with you because they were getting what they wanted from you, and now there’s been a split…… A split between what they want and what you have for them. This is the time to keep your eyes open and your mind prepared to perceive treachery occurring right under your nose in the place where you least expected it.

Withholding and Blackmail are similar. The difference is that Blackmail offers you a way out, if you’re willing to comply with her demands. Blackmail is like in the movies, where someone has hostages, and they say they want a helicopter and five million dollars in $20s. πŸ˜€ Withholding is just plain “you.can’t.get.XYZ”, where XYZ is whatever you used to be getting from her. If she was cooking for you, forget it. If she was sexing you, forget it. If she was picking you up from work, forget it. WHATEVER you were getting before, you can’t get it now, because she’s decided that what she wants is more important than her relationship to you.

If you’re paying attention when this change comes over her, you’ll realize that she’s only doing what she does for you and being the person you thought she naturally was BECAUSE you’re doing things that she wants done for her. As soon as you become not[the guy that does XYZ for her], all bets are off. You may as well be a stranger in the street as far as she’s concerned. She’s turned off to you so your ALLIANCE is currently out the window as well as all the benefits that came with her perception of you as the guy that always does things her way.

There are easy ways around Withholding. Act like she’s right. Buy her some flowers. Tell her you thought about it and you were wrong. Don’t tell her anything, just whatever you vetoed that she asked you for, make it happen. There are lots of other techniques that guys have been using since the cavemen….. The question is “do you really want to continue a relationship with someone like this?” You’re only rewarding bad behavior by caving in to her ‘demands’. You’re training her that as soon as she withholds from you, you’re going to give her what she wants, so you may as well not veto anything ever again. Just bear it… don’t even bother grinning.

Blackmail is just about the same thing, except she’ll tell you what you need to do in order to have your privileges restored. Let’s say that Withdrawl is the passive version, and Blackmail is the active version. You get to hear about what’s going to happen if you don’t comply. πŸ˜€ Obviously, this is way more egregious than Withdrawl. Withdrawl leaves you the choice of placating her or not. Blackmail informs you that there are going to be “consequences & repercussions” [Eddie Murphy, “Life”] in response to your actions/words/decisions that set this whole thing off. Consequences might be that the relationship is over between you or no sex or she’s going to get loud with you or throw your clothes out the window or go hook up with your friend that’s been trying to hook up with her behind your back. πŸ˜€

It’s clear if she’s trying to Blackmail you that she thinks she has some kind of power over you… and maybe she DOES! hahahaha… But if she doesn’t, the question remains… Is this the type of person that you want aligned with you? Do you want to be with someone that’s really out for her own best interests, and you can be down with her as long as you’re the goose that lays the golden eggs? πŸ˜€

Guilt Trips are simultaneously the funniest and most pathetic, gut-wrenching ploys, IMO. πŸ˜€ It’s really embarrassing when someone tries to pull cards or call in favors that weren’t favors at the time. What’s embarrassing about it is that this person that you’ve aligned yourself with has ZERO FAITH in your alliance with them. It’s gut-wrenching because they’re accusing you of being the type of WEASEL that they themselves actually are, coming at you with these primitive tactics! πŸ˜€ They actually believe your character is as lame as theirs is… which is pathetic, because it’s a reflection of your ability to judge someone’s character that this idiot right in front of you thinks they can change your mind by calling in markers. The conversation basically goes like this:

I want XYZ
You can’t get it
Give it to me
You can’t get it
You’d better give it to me
You can’t get it
Remember I did ABC for you blah blah blah blah blah

There are two problems here. #1 is that she thinks your character is so weak that you didn’t consider the situation at all before you announced your veto. She thinks that by reminding you of something she did for you, either in the past or just a minute before the disagreement started that you’re suddenly going to change your mind. Pathetic. :/ Problem #2 is that….. At the time that she did ABC for you, she WANTED TO DO IT, and you probably didn’t even ASK her to do it, and she ENJOYED doing it and it was a fond memory that you had of your relationship with her.

NOW, she’s reaching back and acting like she did it only to build equity with you for a “rainy day” like today. She’s poisoning memories that you have with her by dragging them into the present to try to use as bargaining chips against your weak character that can be easily bought off after you already considered the situation and delivered your decision. Well… Which one is it? Was she being manipulative THEN and doing things to keep you doing what you do for her? Or is she being manipulative NOW and trying to change history from an authentic alliance with you to a series of favors she’s done for you with the intent to cash in her chips when she felt it was necessary?

Either way, it sucks. :/ If your alliance with each other were authentic, manipulation would neither be necessary or even a thought. “The heat of the moment” should lead to an appeal for consideration based on history together and alliance, and both of those things should be well considered by you before decisions are made final.

I think love is better than fear. Fear is only useful as long as it remains constant. As soon as whatever it is that they fear diminishes or overwhelms them, all bets are off. As soon as they fear something more than the fear that caused them to align themselves with you or you’re no longer perceived as “the one” that is shielding them from whatever it is they fear, you’ll be dealing with a completely different person.

This is why it’s important to keep your wits about you as soon as something goes wrong in a relationship. Pay attention… Keep your eyes peeled for that double black cat… the glitch in the matrix that tells you something’s suddenly changed about this person and you can temporarily see deeper into their REAL way of being and what they really think of you than you usually can…….


The most important aspect of a relationship is trust. Without trust, you have nothing at all. If someone tells you they’re going to be somewhere at a particular time, you have to be able to trust that they’re going to be there. Otherwise, you have zero incentive to show up when they told you to meet them. If someone tells you they’re only involved with you, you have no reason to believe them if their word doesn’t mean anything… If someone tells you they’re pregnant and their word is worthless, you won’t believe them when they tell you it’s yours. There are an infinite number of chicks that went on Maury swearing up and down that so-and-so was the father, and according to the DNA test, he was NOT! πŸ˜€ OTOH, there are tons of guys that went on that show swearing they WEREN’T the father, and they were.

So… TRUST is CRITICAL. However… Trust is worthless if the person doesn’t have any character. No constitution. No integrity. If we consider TRUST to be a finger plugging a hole in a dam, CHARACTER is the ability to KEEP that finger in the dam. This is another area where people fall short in relationships. They’re perfectly trustworthy, but that trust is easily broken by someone mentally superior to them or by their own shortcomings. How many times have we heard people say they cheated because they were drunk? Whose fault is THAT? :/ The cheater is at fault, because even if they were trustworthy, their ability to keep their promise to someone disappeared when they got drunk. Even if they were so drunk that they were incapacitated and someone took advantage of them, they’re STILL at fault, because they drank so much that they put themselves in that position. Unless it was the very first time, and they had no idea they could get that drunk, they’ve been there before and they allowed themselves to go there again. If they promised someone they’d be faithful to them, they destroyed their own ability to maintain that promise.

Even without being inebriated, people demonstrate their lack of character and they chalk it up to “temptation”. What’s THAT supposed to mean? :/ You’re saying you can be faithful until ANYONE ELSE offers you something to do. Temptation? You mean like a snake came out of a tree with an apple and you ate it temptation? You mean like “an offer you couldn’t refuse” temptation? What kind of temptation is it that makes your word suddenly meaningless? It’s not temptation. It’s lack of character. You couldn’t stand on your own word, so as much as you might have meant well by promising something to someone, you don’t have the personal power or strength of character to deliver on that promise.