On another post, reader Alexis asks The Kid:
Bill, I am curious… Knowing that you are the kind of guy who is very “here and now” wouldn’t that turn off someone that you possible “love”? So I gotta know… How do you treat a woman that you KNOW if someone you LOVE and want to be committed to? Or even possible married? Do you still treat her this way (as “here and now”? Or does she get “different” and “preferential” treatment.
I think that this highlights a fundamental problem in relationships. Unfortunately, it’s a sleeper, and people don’t recognize it until it’s too late and they’re already months or years down the road in their relationships.
The first thing you need to be able to do in a “relationship” is BE. YOURSELF!
What I mean by that is that being a “here and now”, “spur of the moment” person is part of my PERSONALITY. I can not give someone preferential treatment vs MY OWN PERSONALITY. haha It doesn’t work like that. When it comes down to a choice between my personality and some chick, the chick loses. Period. Every time. No question or doubt. Zero exceptions.
Any time I CHOOSE to do something that goes against my nature for the benefit of a female, I’m doing her A FAVOR. It’s not that I’m compelled to do something out of some sense of “She deserves this” or she gets some sort of “preferential treatment”. Nope. I decided it’s something I either don’t want to do or don’t care about doing, but I’m going to CHOOSE to do it anyway, as a gift to her.
People RARELY bring what they actually want to the table when it comes to dating. It’s funny how if you go read entries on dating sites, they all sound so vanilla and middle-of-the road. Nobody’s doing “nothing” out of the ordinary. Everybody wants the same thing….. Right. :/ What’s really happening is that everyone’s holding back the real deal, hoping to land the other person while suppressing what they really want and what they really like. Continue reading “Be Yourself in Relationships”