Boys’ Club of America

Everybody knows that there are distinct and clear advantages to being a dude.

Two days ago, The USA just celebrated Equal Pay Day, for instance:

The next Equal Pay Day is Tuesday, April 17, 2012. This date symbolizes how far into 2012 women must work to earn what men earned in 2011.

Everybody knows that there are distinct and clear advantages to being a dude.

Two days ago, The USA just celebrated Equal Pay Day, for instance:

The next Equal Pay Day is Tuesday, April 17, 2012. This date symbolizes how far into 2012 women must work to earn what men earned in 2011. Continue reading “Boys’ Club of America”

Cougars vs. MILFs

What is a Cougar? How come this dating term only applies to females and not to males who exhibit the same behaviors? Continue reading “Cougars vs. MILFs”

Ass Out, In The Garbage (Homegirl Epic Failure)

Ass Out, In The GarbageIf you’re not from New York City, and specifically Manhattan, you’re not going to understand what this is a picture of. πŸ™‚

Manhattan has garbage collection days. They don’t come get the garbage every day. This means that when stores know that the day is coming up, they bring all their garbage bags from the basement and pile them up out on the sidewalk.

Sometimes, it’s only three bags, but it could easily be 10-20 garbage bags making their own little mountain out in the street.

The point is that the garbagemen are going to come get the bags in the wee hours of the morning so that your customers never see a stack of garbage out in front of your restaurant or whatever.

Meanwhile, this is the exact same time that people go out to party here. A lot of times, people don’t even ARRIVE to bars before midnight, and since the bars close around 4:30am, there’s often a correlation between when drunk-ass-people stumble their asses out of a bar and when this mountain of garbage bags is chillin’ outside, waiting to get picked up. Continue reading “Ass Out, In The Garbage (Homegirl Epic Failure)”

Tiger Woods vs. Chris Brown

So the other day, I heard that Tiger Woods crashed his car and he was being treated for injuries. Once I heard the injuries weren’t career-threatening, I didn’t pay any more attention to the story. I read that he was in his car BY HIMSELF when he crashed and that his wife broke one of the car windows with a golf club to get him out. So what? Big deal.

Tiger Woods vs. Chris Brown

So now, readers Stephanie, Priscilla & Frank have pointed out to me that the internet’s buzzing with rumors that this-and-that happened, so I decided to see what the tabloids were talking about. Interestingly enough, it’s amazingly similar to the Chris Brown situation a few months ago:

1) Chick feels like she has exclusive access to a guy.
2) Chick supposedly receives information that her man was kickin’ it with some other chick.
3) Chick gets upset about it.
4) Chick wigs out and it gets physical.

This is where these tabloid stories part ways: Continue reading “Tiger Woods vs. Chris Brown”

The Fetishization of Lesbianism

I like lesbians. I mean, who cares? They’re still attractive chicks. That’s what matters! πŸ˜€ There’s no difference between hanging out with a lesbian that doesn’t want to give you some and hanging out with a non-lesbian that doesn’t want to give you some.

So I stumbled upon this Jezebel post, “The Double-Glazed Ceiling:” Is It Harder For Women To Come Out At Work?, and one of the commenters said that they felt that lesbianism is often fetishized.

I didn’t think much of that statement, but then, for some odd reason, I started thinking about WHY I didn’t think much of that statement. What I very quickly understood is that it’s part of my personal brainwashing that lesbians are a fetish.

Before you illiterates start protesting, πŸ˜€ I’m not saying lesbianISM is a fetish for the women involved in it. I’m saying that lesbiANS are a fetish to guys in general.

You can pretty much thank the porno industry for this brainwashing, but, IRL, the more hot chicks involved in something, the merrier. This is why you see SEVERAL booth-babes at car shows instead of just one. As a matter of fact, if you see ONE female at a car show booth, she’s usually in a suit, actually KNOWS about the cars and is an actual EMPLOYEE and REPRESENTATIVE of the company. When you hire booth-babes, OTOH, you have to get more than one, because guys like multiple chicks, regardless of what they tell their wives.

There’s also a biological reason for guys liking multiple chicks. If you have multiple kids with the same woman, they all have the same genetic makeup and carry the same benefits and flaws into the next generation. You’re gambling that your genes and hers create viable children that will thrive and succeed. If you have kids with multiple women, you mix it up, so there’s actually a better chance that one of your combinations will be better, smarter, stronger or faster than the others.

So anyway… Since we live in a society of Pair Bonders, guys can’t normally get their hands on multiple women. This is where the porno industry helps out… oh, and strip clubs.

I don’t really count strip clubs as of equal importance with porno as far as creating & maintaining the lesbian fetish. You can argue that in both instances, women are given money to do sexual acts. In the strip club, though, it’s clear that the women will do “whatever” for money… and, believe you me… I mean WHATEVER, hahaha, you’d actually be surprised what you can….. The point is that face to face (or face to, whatever) in the strip club, you’re completely aware that the ONLY reason this chick’s doing what she’s doing is because somebody handed her money. Before they handed her the money, she wasn’t doing JACK. Now that she’s been paid, she’s all over you. *YAWN*

Porno’s different, because at least they TRY to act. Porno attempts to be the fly on the wall, and you just happen to be there when several gals are hanging out together and decide to try out all these sex toys they just happen to have laying around. (Tip for the fellaz… If your woman says she’s going to a Tupperware party, I don’t even think they SELL Tupperware anymore, haha Get It? πŸ˜‰ )

So anyway, pornography bridges the gap between what guys were thinking already, and them actually seeing it with their eyes instead of making it up in their heads about the two chicks that are standing over by the water cooler in their skirt-suits. hahaha They don’t make these porno scenarios up out of nowhere. There’s not some “porno writers’ guild” that oversees production. Guys think up scenarios about chicks all day and all night, so the plotlines are obvious and plentiful. All you need is two attractive chicks… well, all you need is ONE attractive chick for guys to think about having sex with her, but for the purpose of this post, you need TWO to kick off the guy’s mental lesbian fantasy production.

I think this is partially why lesbianism is fetishized also, actually. Guys don’t care whether chicks are lesbians or not. They just want the gals to DO STUFF to each other. Now that I’m thinking about it, I don’t think I’ve ever asked a chick if she was a lesbian. πŸ™‚ Like I said at the beginning… who cares? It doesn’t make any difference. But I guess my point is that women are going to be perceived sexually and fantasized about REGARDLESS of what they claim to be into, so for a woman to state that she’s a lesbian, it’s like “oh. pass me a brew”.

Then again, I live in NYC, so we have tons of lesbians here. I would imagine that a woman declaring herself a lesbian to someone who lives in the sticks might actually raise an eyebrow, similar to people that are used to seeing brown-skinned people only on television finally seeing one with their own eyes.

On top of that… “IRL Girl on Girl action” became a fad at some point. I don’t know if there’s an official term for this charade, but if anybody knows, post it in the comments.

As we all know, women love attention. At some point, they figured out that if they kissed other girls at the bar, all of a sudden the attention they were getting skyrocketed… as did the drinks they were being bought and the offers they were receiving to hang out with the guys that were loving the show. Perhaps this was the natural evolution of the Coyote Ugly style of random girls from the crowd getting up and dancing on the bar. I did find it interesting how girls that were being basically ignored BEFORE dancing on the bar became hot property afterwards and received tons of compliments and accolades. I can see that being an addiction and gals wanting to know how they could create the same experience for themselves at bars that didn’t have that type of DiY entertainment.

Next thing you know, you’re hanging out and two chicks that were just standing around drinking beers or whatever start grinding on each other and then if they get a crowd, they start making out. It’s actually kind of funny. It’s like a free strip club. If the chicks were smart, they’d be getting paid to put on their shows. πŸ™‚ But their payment is attention from guys, compliments and free drinks, so that’s better than what they were getting before they started “akkin a fool”!

Actually, now that I’m thinking about it, THIS may be even more of a detriment to the situation than porno or actual strip clubs where you know what you can get chicks to do for money. You have so many chicks CRYING WOLF about being lesbians that they’re diluting the actual lesbian population. Those same chicks that grind on each other and make out in the bar hook up with guys on a regular basis. They’re not ACTUAL lesbians.

Similarly, lots of gals CLAIM that they’re lesbians as a defensive statement against guys trying to have sex with them (as if we cared or asked them if they were lesbians in the first place). And save the “maybe it’s *YOU* that they’re telling they’re lesbians to get rid of you!” hahaha I hear that all the time. πŸ˜€ Regardless, you see the problem here. Women are claiming that they don’t have sex with guys and then they turn around and have sex with guys, so these fakers and impostors add to the fetish because guys think they “converted” a lesbian when all they really did was have sex with a liar.

Yeah, this DEFINITELY makes matters worse, because the squeaky wheel gets the oil. All these chicks are parading around claiming lesbianism to get attention, so they’re really visible. Meanwhile, ACTUAL lesbians are invisible. Go ahead and ask someone how a lesbian acts. πŸ™‚ It’s like [blink… blink…]. There aren’t any characteristics. Unless you’re just a nosey person, you’re not going to know a chick’s a lesbian until you invite her to have sex with you.

What does a lesbian couple look like at the bar? That’s right. Two chicks standing around. So what?… Oh, look, she hugged her. So what? Women hug women all the time. Oh, look, she kissed her. So what? Women kiss women all the time. Women like to hold each other’s hands or arms walking down the street as well without being lesbians, so the women misrepresenting lesbianism (IRL fakers, porno girls and strip club chicks) add to the fetish and nothing subtracts from it. I won’t even go for the cheap stats I could rack up by naming celebrities that run that attention game while they think it’ll be good for their careers. You know who they are. Meanwhile, AFAIK, there are fewer lesbian characters in American television shows than there are Asians…….. Asians, PERIOD. Not Asian lesbians.

Like I said, I can’t imagine someone actually ASKING a chick if she’s a lesbian, so for the most part, I receive my information via a third party. My personal reaction is “Good! That means she knows more chicks! πŸ˜€ ” A lot of guys feel negatively about her declaration, because they feel like it’s an affront to their attractiveness or ability to get on… as if she would have given them some in the first place, had she been into guys. A lot of women, lesbian and non, hide their significant others on social media sites in order to avoid said negativity or so that their “taken” status doesn’t decrease their number of twitter followers or whatever. Of course, again, this skews the perception of existence of and interaction with lesbians in the favor of the squeaky wheels, who enjoy broadcasting their exploits on the internet (or anywhere else they possibly can).

So.. Yes… I definitely believe that lesbianism has been fetishized in American society (and probably everywhere else). Time will tell if that ever changes. I suppose I should bring this topic up next time I run into my lesbian friends…. um…. except I’ll probably be too busy trying to meet their girlfriends! πŸ˜€


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Don’t Play Yourself

Twice in the last week, I’ve had an experience I haven’t had in a long time… Waiting on a line to get into a bar/club.

I don’t wait on lines, basically for two reasons. If I’m going somewhere on my own, I’m not going to stand in a line to get into a location that has the exact same chicks that are outside in the street, in the bar next door with no line, at the pizza shop right now having a slice, in the subway, in the supermarket etc etc etc. Merely by logic, there’s more physical space OUTSIDE that establishment than there is INSIDE it, so, actually, by going into a bar or club, I’m DECREASING the number of available chicks instead of INCREASING that number. So… Let me get this straight… You want me to wait on a line so I can be around FEWER chicks with LESS light and MORE noise so I can’t hear them, can’t see them and there are fewer of them to hear and see? Nah. πŸ˜€

The other reason is that the people I hang out with don’t normally select places like that for get-togethers. This week was different. TWICE, I ended up waiting on lines to get into a spot, and I got to re-absorb some line-culture.

One of the things that’s annoying, yet completely understandable about lines for bars/clubs in NYC is that chicks are treated differently from guys. The reason it’s understandable is that by the time guys are on a line to get in a club, it’s usually after midnight. This usually means they’re already drunk. You do NOT want to leave chicks on a line with a bunch of drunk guys, because they’ll get harassed until they exit the line and walk away from your club. That’s no good, because if this keeps happening, the word’s gonna get out about your spot that you don’t take care of the ladies, and then you start to lose business.

Another reason to get chicks in the door, ASAP is that they’re bait. The more chicks you have inside, the more guys are buying those girls drinks, trying to get on. The obviously desired effects being 1) the chick feels goodwill towards you because “you did something nice for her” by buying her a drink, and 2) a SHARP decline in her ability to remember that she just met you or that she has a boyfriend at home. So the more chicks you let in, the more money you make, because you’re multiplying the number of drinks guys are buying, per minute.

Interestingly enough, using chicks as bait is a good reason NOT to let them skip the line, because if you use the style I just mentioned, you end up with a line outside your club of all guys, indicating that your bull****-ass club doesn’t pull any females, or “it ain’t that kinda party”….. Neither implication’s good for your business, so you need to find a balance…. well… I mean… unless it AIN’T that kinda party…..

So I’m standing there on a line last night, and I happened to have arrived at the spot right after these three chicks did. So there’s a line of guys, three chicks and then me. I had just come from another party, so I was feelin’ aiiite πŸ™‚ and didn’t bother to start watching my own podcast on my iPod Nano. Because of this, I became aware of the chattering of the chicks in front of me. They were obviously confused about something. Bewildered. Not to be confused with Befoogled.

Shifting to the side so I could see the furrow in one of the chick’s brows and watch her lips move so I could detect which lines were coming from her so I could make some sense of the chatter, I realized that they were not only confused, but UPSET that they had to wait on line to get in. Of course, I found this hilarious and tuned in for the fun. πŸ˜€

So they’re switching between commiserating about not getting in and yelling statements to the bouncer (this guy was an actual “BOUNCER”, not these “doormen” that they place in front of clubs because they look stylish and completely unathletic. It’s the doorman’s job to scream into his little earpiece for the REAL SECURITY to come save him if some ish jumps off outside. :D) about why he should let them in. Regardless of how they framed it, their entire case was “We’re Girls!”. smh So here are these idiots, standing out in the street in Manhattan, NYC stating the obvious. It was perfectly obvious that they were all females. I’m sure the bouncer was aware of that. Each time they tried and didn’t receive any preferential treatment, they just got madder. πŸ™‚

Adding fuel to the fire, another annoying-yet-understandable feature of line-culture is that people that know the doorman get in regardless of what the doorman just told YOU. The basic reason doormen like to give about making people wait to get in is that it’s too crowded inside, which is a valid issue to be concerned about. However, when they tell you that you have to wait until people LEAVE to get in, and then nobody leaves, and somebody hops out of a cab with four other people, shakes the doorman’s hand and enters the establishment with his/her entire party, you’re like WTF? But… That’s how it goes. If you don’t like it, don’t patronize establishments that deal with people on an unfair basis.

Meanwhile, some guys had now joined the line, and they had their own problems. Apparently, one of them had offered the doorman $20 to let him and his friends skip the line. This is a valid tactic, done by palming the money, then shaking the doorman’s hand. If he accepts the bill from you, he’ll let you and your friends in and it looks like you knew him to anyone that doesn’t perceive the exchange. So now, I’m laughing even more, because I’m virtually SURROUNDED by people that can’t believe they have to wait on a line! πŸ˜€

Next thing that happens is this guy walks up with two chicks and starts talking to the three gals that are on line in front of me. He asks them the OBVIOUS, COMMON-SENSE question:

“What are you doing standing on a line when there are four other bars on this same block?”

This is the point I was making earlier. The only reason *I* was standing on the line was that the people who I came to see were inside that particular bar. So they start complaining to this guy, something to the effect of the bouncer being defective for not letting girls skip the line and go right into the bar without waiting. So he’s looking at them like they’re idiots and invites them to roll with him and the other two chicks to go down the street to some spot without a line. So after all that complaining and time-wasting, the girls get off the line (better for me, thanks! :)) and walk away while shouting at the bouncer stuff like “Now you have a line with all GUYS on it!”

Amazing! πŸ˜€ Such entertainment! Free! On the streets of Manhattan! πŸ˜€

I would have SO missed out if I had been listening to Brett performing “The Hand That Feeds” on my Nano! haha

ReelSolid.TV episode 314

Now, in this particular case, the “problem” was that the bouncer was doing his job. His job is to regulate the flow of people into and out of the club as well as let in the people that he knows he’s supposed to let in, because if he doesn’t, they’re going to text/call someone who’s going to MAKE HIM let them in, AND he’s going to get in trouble for not recognizing the VIPs. It was smart of him not to compromise his integrity by accepting $20 from that guy to skip the line. Situations like that lead to people feeling disrespectfully towards the doorman, because “he can be bought”. You don’t want people feeling like that, especially drunk people, because then you might actually HAVE TO bounce them. It’s better for them to know you’re not havin’ it, so they keep that in mind when they get inside and act like they know.

For those particular three girls in front of me, they had a different problem. πŸ˜€

This didn’t register to me as important until I understood what they were clamoring about, but when I shifted to the side to get a direct view of their lips so I could decipher a distinct line of chatter… amongst other things, I noticed that none of them were hot. Not meaning as in temperature, but as in having the level of looks that might motivate someone to offer them preferential treatment. One of them was ok…… The other two were… like… nah. πŸ™ Even the ok one wasn’t…….

ok… Like I said before, the reason you want to let chicks skip the line to get in the club is that they’re bait for guys to buy more drinks per minute so you make more money by the end of the night. Unfortunately for these three, they aren’t bait. Not only would guys NOT have been buying them drinks, but these three actually would have been taking up valuable space and simultaneously PREVENTING guys from easily accessing the bar to buy drinks for other chicks, so it was actually better for the club’s “bottom line” NOT to let them in at all. πŸ˜€

This is what was so laughable and ridiculous about their commiseration and complaining. They didn’t realize that they weren’t up to par to receive the benefits and perks they were yelling for the bouncer to give them. The equivalent would be for me to stand there on line yelling at the bouncer “YO!… I’M A GUY! LET ME IN!” hahahaha The same way it makes no difference AND happens to be obvious that I’m a guy, it was obvious and made no difference that they were [unattractive] girls. Another reason why bouncers/doormen let girls in is that they want to kick it to them in the near future, if not tonight. These three FAILED in that aspect as well, so even if the bouncer hadn’t been strictly doing his job (not accepting bribes, etc), they wouldn’t have had any wins.

Another thing about them constantly running their mouths and acting like there was something wrong with the bouncer for not letting them in is that they were demonstrating that they have bad attitudes. Again, this is only something that HOT chicks can get away with. Being that he doesn’t care what she thinks anyway, the reason a guy tolerates a chick’s pathetic behavior is that she’s really attractive to him and/or he enjoys having sex with her. Letting chicks with crabby personalities into your bar is *NOT* going to help “the bottom line”. When guys talk about it the next day (or, in this case, blog about it the next day πŸ™‚ ), they’re going to say that when they went to your spot, there were a bunch of unattractive females with lame personalities = you lose business. There are literally too many extra women in this town to interact with unintelligent or crabby females…. 210,820 extra, to be exact! πŸ˜€

So… Instead of stating the obvious, they should have just STFU and acted like they had some CLASS, and maybe the bouncer would have decided that they were chill and hooked them up. Also, walking away shouting insults at the bouncer who you were just *BEGGING* to let you in the club isn’t a smart move at all. That’s as dumb as those guys that stand out in the street calling women beautiful and lovely, and then when the women walk right by, the same guys start hurling insults. What sense does that make? Really.

Anyway, fortunately for me, the people that I hang out with seek out easily accessible locations. The less crowded the better, because we go out in groups to begin with and who knows how many people are going to eventually join the party? If it’s a private party we’re going to, there’s STILL no line, just names on the guest list. It WAS rather interesting to watch those chicks get indignant because of their sense of entitlement to special treatment merely for being females. πŸ™‚ The other time this week that I was on a line, there were lots of women waiting and they all cheerfully spoke with each other to pass the time until they got in. If these particular three would have understood that the ability to skip the line is a COURTESY and not something they’re ENTITLED TO, they would have carried themselves differently and had a much better chance of achieving their goals for the evening.


“Buy a Girl a Drink?” (Something for Nothing)

It’s a typical rap move to “buy a girl a drink”. You see a gal you’d like to kick it with, but you don’t have the nerve to walk up to her, introduce yourself and start talking. So, somehow, it’s been passed down through the ages that buying her a drink is a good way to get your foot in the door. Well, encyclopedia salesmen get their feet in doors as well. Let’s examine how you look when your opener is to give away stuff to chicks for free that you had to spend your hard-earned money to get.

First of all, let’s talk about your money. Unless you have the hookup at the bar (or happen to own it), you have to spend money to buy her that drink. Let’s say your ass works for minimum wage (whatever THAT is these days)… I’ll guess that minimum wage is $10/hour, and depending where you are, it could run you $7 plus tip for a pint of beer. Let’s not even talk about those colorful mixed drinks chicks like to lamp with! πŸ˜€ So… Essentially… By buying her a drink, that means you just worked about 45 minutes for her. Even if we boost your ducats so that you’re only working 20 minutes for her… is that what you *really* want to do? πŸ˜€ If you walked up to a chick and she said you could talk to her after you mowed her lawn and raked her leaves, would you do it? πŸ˜€

Now, you might be thinking “stop being cheap… it’s only either $10 or 20 minutes’ worth of manual labor, and I might get on tonight”. While I understand that professional prostitutes cost much more than that… Since, by definition, you’re approaching her for the first time in life… There’s NO WAY that she’s done anything FOR YOU that warrants you buying her something. Does that make sense? Get it? She’s done NOTHING, and you’re giving her SOMETHING… ANYTHING… ‘Doesn’t matter what it is. The only thing worse than rewarding her for NO behavior is rewarding her for BAD behavior. That’s a completely different topic, though.

By giving her stuff right off the bat, you’re letting her know that regardless of what she does, you’re willing to shell out. What if she thanks you for the drink and walks away from you as soon as you hand it to her? HAHAHAHA What if she doesn’t *even* say “Thank You”? What’reyagonnado? Take your drink back? Drink the Apple Martini for her? πŸ˜€ No. You’re gonna “take a short”, is what you’re gonna do. πŸ˜€ Are you aware that there are chicks that go out to clubs DELIBERATELY with no money, because they know there are so many guys that will pay for them to drink all night for the potential opportunity to smack it up, flip it, rub it down, OH NOOOOO! πŸ˜€

That’s another thing. When you kick game, you want to seem UNIQUE… not TYPICAL. Try your best not to make yourself indistinguishable from the other 30 guys that stepped to her with the exact same line and the exact same offer of free stuff that she doesn’t even deserve yet. Not getting it? Let’s look at the flip side. Let’s say YOU were in the club, and a chick walked up to you out of the blue wanting to go home with you….. Now, there are some guys that can graciously accept that and go get their groove on. πŸ™‚ There are A LOT OF GUYS that will see that chick as loose, easy, a ho, desperate, whatever it is, they’re going to low-rate her for giving them something for nothing. Am I right? Have you seen this happen or heard of it from your boys or your girls? Uh-huh…

OTOH, if you actually KNOW someone and want to buy them a drink to show them that you enjoy their company or value them as a friend, by all means, that’s a great gesture that people appreciate. πŸ™‚ Similarly, if you met her just now and had a nice conversation and you’re *NOW* feeling goodwill towards her, offering to get her something as you excuse yourself to go to the bar is a classy and chivalrous gesture. You’re rewarding GOOD behavior. You’re letting her know that you appreciate her for her personality and the way she carries herself.

I mean, it’s not like you’re slick. Everybody knows what you’re doing. Everybody knows why you offered HER a drink and ignored her busted homegirl. Everybody knows you’re trying to bribe her with $7 worth of alcohol. πŸ™‚ Everybody knows you’re hoping that drink “loosens her morals”. πŸ˜€

Maybe next time, get yourself together, step to her honorably and let her know why you came over there. Maybe she’ll find you refreshing instead of redundant. Maybe if you represent yourself properly, she’ll buy YOU a drink! πŸ˜€