Cutthroats (Too Much Confidence, Too Little Skill)

This dude tried to cut my throat tonight (rap to a girl I was obviously talking to). Little did he know, he was tryin’na pull a long-time homegirl of mine.

So I go to this wine bar, right? And people are relatively dressy. It’s not a pub, after all.. But I know why I’m there and I know who I’m there with so I don’t give a ****. I’ve got my t-shirt and jeans workin’ and I’m cold lampin’ with my homegirl…

So this dude sits next to us at the bar, right next to her, and I’m talking to her about something and he goes “I couldn’t help overhearing…” so I’m like HERE. WE. GO!!! πŸ˜€ .. Like I keep telling you chicks, dudes aren’t even going to talk to you unless they’re trying to get on, so now I’m monitoring this dude’s game.

He came dressed for the part.. Snazzy suit. Good-looking tie. Expensive-looking watch, similar to the one I bought in Chinatown for $60 that was a knockoff of a multiple-thousand-dollar watch. Acceptable haircut. Visually, dude was on point…… Well….. Except for one thing. He wasn’t visually my homegirl’s type. Due to the way his grill looked and his non-athletic physique, he was fighting an uphill battle, but it was funny to watch. πŸ˜€

My girl likes a guy with a certain type of look and a certain type of demeanor. Any other dudes she considers suckers and runs over them like a Mack Truck. The worst thing that can happen to you if you like to try to get raps on-the-fly is that the chick isn’t sweating you from the giddyap. Dude was farther than he imagined from getting some and I didn’t figure he had the skillz to overcome his shortcomings relative to what she was looking for. Even more pathetically, she was already tipsy by the time he arrived, which skewed the odds in his favor and I *STILL* wasn’t seeing it! πŸ˜€ Continue reading “Cutthroats (Too Much Confidence, Too Little Skill)”