Jersey Shore s03 e07 [Part 01]

“Jersey Shore”, Season 03, Episode 07 was entirely painful to watch. πŸ™‚

I mean, I really didn’t want to watch some of it. I wanted to fast-forward to another section, but I really needed to absorb all of the tomfoolery in order to get a proper grasp on what I feel happened.

Where’s The Disclaimer?

First of all, right off the bat.. MTV has done it again, completely whitewashing Female -> Male violence… AGAIN. I was already tired of this, as I’ve mentioned in previous posts, but the saga continues. Continue reading “Jersey Shore s03 e07 [Part 01]”

Sex By Mistake?

Bill Cammack / Weapons of Ass DistractionLadies. Please wake up. There is no such thing as a guy having sex by mistake. Period. No chance, no way, no how. None.

I was having this conversation about “the truth” with a friend the other day, and the scenario came up of a guy being in a relationship with one chick and then having sex with a different chick and returning to his so-called “girlfriend” and telling her “the truth”.

Unfortunately, πŸ™‚ My friend’s version of a guy telling “the truth” included “blah blah blah blah and I made a mistake and blah blah blah”. Sorry. That doesn’t exist.

Free Will

What had happened was….. He did what he wanted to do AT. THAT. TIME., and now he feels sorry about it.

Maybe he feels sorry because he went back on his word, which has nothing to do with his girl and everything to do with who he thinks he is as a person and what he believes (believED) his overall character is (was).

Maybe he feels sorry because he didn’t think he was the type of guy to cheat, and he found out “the hard way” that he was (is).

Maybe he feels sorry that he can’t look his girl in the eye and continue the lie that he’s only having sex with her. Continue reading “Sex By Mistake?”

Freedom of Consequences

Boo Hoo Hoo! πŸ˜€

Around February, 2008… approximately five (5) months ago, I decided to ask a member of the video message board, Seesmic if he REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY wanted to represent himself as he did in a video that he made.

What happened? People started crying. BOO HOO HOO! YOU’RE BEING MEAN! YOU’RE TELLING HIM WHAT TO DO! BOO HOO HOO! πŸ˜€

Fast forward 5 months to this week’s events… where a *different* person got penalized for video that HE posted to the internet. Did he post it ~ a year ago? Yes. Was he penalized for it this week? Yes.

So now, maybe people can stop CRYING and WAKE UP! πŸ˜€ It doesn’t matter if you’re having a so-called private conversation with a so-called friend of yours if it’s AVAILABLE FOR THE PUBLIC TO VIEW. People are going to look at the one video that you did and make their own decisions about your content and about YOU as a person. They’re going to decide whether they want to socialize with “a person like this”. They’re going to decide whether they want to HIRE “a person like this”. They’re going to decide whether they want to SPONSOR “a person like this”.

The point I was trying to get across, almost half a year ago, is that all of your content is standalone. You have to treat every video and every text post and every picture as if people are going to look at that ONE item and form judgements about you. You can’t rely on OTHER posts to pull you back into the frying pan out of the fire. You can’t rely on other people vouching for your character, ESPECIALLY when your video is viewed outside the realm in which your friends have juice. If nobody’s ever heard of your friends or they just don’t care what your friends opinions are, you’re short.

The reason people were CRYING is because they want the internet to be about freedom of speech. Unfortunately for them, they’re missing the other side of the coin…

Freedom of Consequences

Yes, you are free and clear to use whatever low-class terms you like when you make video, audio or text posts to the internet. What happens next is… PEOPLE SEE YOU AS LOW-CLASS. Good for you. You’ve achieved your goal. You expressed yourself, and people have a new image of you that you’ve created. Similarly, if you create a video that people see as offensive… PEOPLE SEE YOU AS AN OFFENSIVE PERSON. That’s the way it works. You express yourself, and then, as Otir pointed out, you have ZERO CONTROL over what other people receive and internalize based on what you posted. This is what’s simultaneously fantastic and unfortunate about communication, especially on the internet.

Does it matter that whatever video you’re getting penalized for is a year old? No. People that saw it for the first time TODAY… feel upset about it TODAY…. NOT last year. Unfortunately, the fact that posts, especially video and audio are STANDALONE items means that whatever the focal point is of people being upset can now be embedded ad infinitum all over the web. Guess what? Your context is GONE! The text you wrote on your original page with the video? GONE! The links you had on that page to supporting material? GONE! Your entire library of work up until and surpassing that time? GONE! Comments from posters and/or supporters? GONE! The only thing that’s left is the content that you uploaded and the thoughts of the person who’s newly embedded your video on their page so they can show THEIR FRIENDS that you’re “a person like this”.

I was having a conversation IRL just last night, in which I thought I was anonymous, and then the chick… um… woman says “I’ve read your blog“, hahaha and it was time to change gears. Not because I was being inauthentic beforehand, but because now, I was aware that I wasn’t working with a clean slate. πŸ˜€ We still had a great and interesting convo, but it had already been tinted by her impression of who I am or what I’m about from reading my blog.

That’s the way it works. You express. Other people receive and take away what they want from what you expressed, regardless of your intentions when you posted the text, audio or video. I touched on this in a joking way in “Do NOT Let This Happen To You! :/”. I was saying “some stuff” and then Annie broke out her xacti and it was time for The Kid to say “other stuff”! πŸ˜€


Permalink: http://pixelcurrents.tv/post/33454768
Again… Not because I was being inauthentic when the camera was off, but because what I was saying wasn’t for general consumption. It was a conversation I was having with my friends and totally wouldn’t have made sense outside of the context that they all had from being friends of mine and actually knowing me. I mean… It would have made sense, πŸ™‚ but I can’t express to randoms the same thing I can express to people that have background knowledge of who I am, what I do and why I do it with anywhere near the same effect.
 
Similarly… If you do a video that you put out on public channels that for some odd reason, you consider private… be prepared for people that you didn’t intend to watch that video to view it and make up their minds about “who you are” as a person. If you do a video that you think is funny to your friends and people that know you, and put it on public channels… be prepared for people that you didn’t intend to watch that video to view it and make up their minds about “who you are” as a person. Is there freedom of speech? Of course there is. There’s also OWNERSHIP. OF. CONSEQUENCES.

That was my whole point back on Seesmic.

I couldn’t care ANY LESS how people express themselves on the net.

I wanted people to realize is that they eventually might have to OWN the consequences of their actions/words/videos, and that’s what we all got a front row seat to this very week.

Welcome to the real world, Neo.

Recreational Sex

One of the ‘consequences’ of the fact that I write in so much depth is that people find it tough to follow my concepts. It’s also because I’m talking about things that people don’t understand. I’m talking about WHY things happen, not *what*happens*. I’m not telling guys to go buy flowers for their girls. I’m talking about THE EFFECT on her when you buy those flowers.

Another ‘problem’ with my style is that I write from “stream of consciousness”. I think about a topic and I type what I’m thinking…. on the fly… When I post something, it’s because that’s what I’ve been thinking about and typing about for the last hour or two. This also makes it tough for the average Joe/Josephine to follow, because it’s not aimed at them. It’s aimed at myself and people who can grasp and process my concepts and the way I present them.

The good thing about this is when someone gets pissed off enough to make a comment. This way, I can see what they took away from reading my post. I get to see the difference between what I THOUGHT I was expressing and what they received… or at least what they were able to articulate from what they received.

Reader “AJ” (no site link… so you know what that means) left me a comment this morning on my post, “Male Birth Control Pills!!!”. I think the points that AJ brought up were too important/interesting to have my response stuck in my comment stream, so I wanted to make a new post based on his/her comments.

Briefly, “Male Birth Control Pills!!!” is about the fact that if they actually create this stuff and it works, guys are going to have a new choice when it comes to attempting to ensure that they don’t get chicks pregnant. Here’s AJ’s response:

AJ: June 30, 2008 at 6:43 am

“All about being the sleezy, gutless guy with no responsibility hey? All play and pleasure no actual contribution to anything. In complete control of his self-centred pleasure obsessed destiny!

If you want to be a loser in life, use the pill, your chick if she is using herÒ€ℒs already, chances are she will get fat for it, if not get cancer! Use her to the point where she is risking her life for your pleasure. You da man arenÒ€ℒt you!”

First of all, sleAzy is spelled with an “A”. ( http://mw4.m-w.com/dictionary/sleazy )

Second, my post was about GUYS *USING* BIRTH CONTROL, which equates to TAKING RESPONSIBILITY. Being *irresponsible* is *NOT* making sure that you use birth control and getting a chick pregnant when you have no intention of having kids with her. So your first sentence doesn’t make any sense. A “sleazy, gutless guy” would do what he wants to do and not care whether the chick gets pregnant or not, so he wouldn’t be READING my post, and he MOST CERTAINLY wouldn’t be WRITING my post.

Third… Not like your troll-ass is still anywhere near my blog, but responsibility for what? If she doesn’t get pregnant, you HAVE no responsibility. Does that make sense? “No actual contribution to anything”? Contribution to WHAT? What are you talking about? πŸ™‚ You mean like a campaign contribution? The “contribution” in messing with a chick is that she has a good time, gets some sort of satisfaction and feels like a desired and attractive woman. What else would you like a guy to contribute to? PLEASE feel free to respond, because I’d love to know. πŸ™‚

I’m going to skip “play and pleasure” for now, since I think that’s the most important point AJ makes, and move on to:

AJ: “If you want to be a loser in life, use the pill”

um…….. WHAT? πŸ˜€ hahahaha Did you read this before you posted it? According to my stats, you’re from Australia. I don’t know “how they do” over there, but in the USA, we have a bunch of what are known as “deadbeat dads”, which interestingly enough, Wikipedia has down as “deadbeat parents”.

Deadbeat parent is a pejorative term referring to parents of either gender that have freely chosen not to be a financially supportive parent in their children’s lives. Primarily used in the US, the gender-specific Deadbeat dad and Deadbeat mom are commonly used by the child support agency to refer to men and women who have fathered or mothered a child but fail to pay child support ordered by a family law court or statutory agency such as the Child Support Agency. The real definition is an unrestricted parent treated equally who chooses not to be a regular or supportive parent in their child or children’s lives.”

THAT’S “being a loser in life”, my mellow. So by avoiding the situation of having kids a guy never intended to have, that’s the OPPOSITE of losing, which is WINNING. πŸ˜€ So your statement should have read “If you want to be a WINNER in life, use the pill”.

AJ: “your chick if she is using herÒ€ℒs already, chances are she will get fat for it, if not get cancer! Use her to the point where she is risking her life for your pleasure. You da man arenÒ€ℒt you!”

If you go back and read my post, you’ll notice that I don’t advocate ANYWHERE putting your girl on the pill. *THAT’S* irresponsible, assuming YOU’RE THE ONE that doesn’t want to have kids with her. There’s no reason to mess with her body chemistry for your personal fun and recreation (and her fun and recreation as well, haha πŸ˜€ ). That’s actually the ENTIRE point of the post. Supposedly, the day is coming where there’s a choice that the male has to enact protection besides condoms and vasectomies.

On top of that, besides potential health issues, if she goes on the pill it could change her body-type, potentially taking her outside of your personal range of what you find sexy, and then you won’t want to hit it anyway. Putting her on the pill defeats the purpose of her going on the pill in the first place. This is why Male Birth Control is a grand option, if they ever figure out how to make it happen.

Having said that… I understand what AJ’s overall issue is, and I think it’s an important point to bring up, because it’s an extremely common disconnect that many women have which disallows them from grasping the actual reality of their “relationships”.

AJ: “All play and pleasure no actual contribution to anything. In complete control of his self-centred pleasure obsessed destiny!”

Another of the many things lots of women never realize is that there are A LOT OF GUYS that want to have sex with you with *NO* *INTENTION* *WHATSOEVER* of having kids with you. πŸ™‚ There are lots of guys that want to have sex with you with no intention of entering a “relationship” with you. There are lots of guys that are into sex exactly for the reasons that AJ states… “self-centered, pleasure-obsessed DESTINYYYYY!!! πŸ˜€ “. In the best-case scenario, he’s up front about that with you and you know this guy’s physically attracted to you right now, and doesn’t necessarily want to call or iChat you tomorrow. Even in the case of recurring sexual encounters (often referred to by women as “a relationship”), the fact that he hits it over and over does NOT imply any form of progression towards you becoming his girlfriend or wife. This is why y’all are always asking dudes “where is this going?”… It’s because it’s not *GOING* anywhere. πŸ™‚ It is what it is. He gets to tap that. You get out of it whatever you get out of it. The sun “comes up” and then it “goes back down”. Rinse & Repeat.

This is what AJ’s issue is. The fact of the matter is that there are lots of guys that are having recreational sex with chicks that turn them on, and they have no intention of having kids with said chick or starting a family or even discussing future relationship configurations with her. For those guys, supposedly, the day is coming where they’re going to be able to protect their self-centered, pleasure-obsessed destinies by taking pills that will make it extremely unlikely that the chick will get pregnant, even if he’s using a condom and it breaks.

From where I’m sitting, that’s BEING RESPONSIBLE and WINNING at the same time.

Thanks for the exercise, AJ. πŸ˜‰

DatingGenius