Side Chick Problems (#SideChickProblems)

What kind of dudes actually tell chicks they’re peripheral? o_O

So today on social media, somebody was complaining about being a perpetual side chick and I’m like “Are you sure there are any other job openings? o_O” Continue reading “Side Chick Problems (#SideChickProblems)”

Verily… A Conversation Betwixt Herbs

Let’s examine and discuss the Trump/Bush Tape.

Herbs

A Herb is a worthless dude, in the context of whatever you’re talking about.

A nobody. A non-player character (NPC) like the artificial intelligence people you see running around in video games that the game itself is controlling instead of a human. A totally inconsequential and ineffective male of the species.

So for example, if you’re pitching in a baseball game and the bases are loaded and the dude walking towards the plate to bat can’t hit worth a damn, you won’t be worried about it because he’s a Herb.

That doesn’t mean he isn’t well-paid, well-regarded in society, or successful in business.

It just means that in this context, attempting to hit against your pitching, he isn’t worth ****.

Similarly, dudes tell on themselves that THEY aren’t **** when it comes to bagging chicks.

I would have written “pulling chicks”, but Trump ****** that line up for ERRBODY with his “Grab ’em by the *****” statement, but we’ll discuss that later in the story. 😀 Continue reading “Verily… A Conversation Betwixt Herbs”

Less Than Zero

Are you going to allow other people to drag you down with them, or are you going to cut them loose to lose on their own?

The movie “Less Than Zero” is about three drug addicts.

All treea dem, Clay, Blair, and Julian graduated high school together.

Clay left for college while Blair & Julian stayed at home.

Before he left, Blair was Clay’s girlfriend. After he left, Blair was Julian’s girlfriend.

Clay (apparently) stopped using drugs altogether. Blair & Julian increased their cocaine consumption.

When Clay returns to town during the Christmas holiday break, he has two problems.

His best friend Julian is a junkie.

His girlfriend, who’s now screwing his best friend, wants Clay to help Julian.

Who Are You?

The reason I wanted to discuss this movie is because there are a lot of people who spend all of their time trying to get back *UP* to zero. Continue reading “Less Than Zero”

Women Without Makeup

A chick not wearing makeup can’t provoke anyone to do anything.

So HuffPo recently posted an article about Alicia Keys not wearing makeup to the VMAs (The MTV Video Music Awards), entitled “The Anger Provoked By Alicia Keys Not Wearing Makeup To The VMAs Is Sadly Not Surprising”.

The only reason I even clicked on this article was because of the words “Anger Provoked”.

First of all, Provoke (merriam-webster.com/dictionary/provoke) means to cause the occurrence of (a feeling or action) : to make (something) happen : to cause (a person or animal) to become angry, violent, etc.

So, for instance, if I punch you in your face, that means I’ve provoked you to feel hurt and/or to fall on the floor.

My action (smashing your grill) caused your reaction (feeling emotional or physical pain and/or losing the ability to continue to stand up).

A chick not wearing makeup can’t provoke anyone to do anything. Continue reading “Women Without Makeup”

Trumpesque Dating Techniques

How to apply techniques utilized in Presidential campaigns to increase the success of your dating career.

Now that I’ve become aware that you can’t be disqualified for attempting to become the President of the United States of America due to mental deficiency or illness, I think I’ll try some similar dating techniques that definitely shouldn’t work, but apparently approximately 50% of the women in this country might fall for them anyway.

Conversation Styles

Her: “Where were you born? :D”
Me: “In a crossfire hurricane…… And I howled at my Ma in the driving rain……… But it’s alright now. In fact it’s a gas. :D”
Her: “That’s so fascinating! :D” Continue reading “Trumpesque Dating Techniques”