Bill Cammack » different

Why Men Cheat

Bill Cammack — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 12:41:17 +0000

Men cheat on women they’re in relationships with because their desire to enjoy their lives is greater than their interest in upholding their word to you. There are lots of other reasons, but let’s start with that one. It’s really very simple. The same way he told you he was going to take out the garbage and then DIDN’T, he told you he was only hooking up with *you* and he ISN’T.

That would be known as a lie. Lies are often told to get people to do something.. In your case, lay down and spread your legs. He knows you’re not going to do that (or at least you’re going to make a big deal about it) if he tells you he’s tappin’ other chicks, so he lies, you give it up, and all is right with the world. :D

This leads to the question “How could he lie to me? :O”. Because it’s effective. It works. It’s the same reason that people cross the street when the sign says “don’t walk”. They get where they were going faster.

So, reason #1 why men cheat is.. They felt like it. \o/

Sexual Pressure

This one’s more of an excuse than anything else, but I still need to bring it up. Women are drugs. Asking a guy why he ****** that chick is like asking a drug addict why he smoked whatever he smoked. It’s what occurs to you to do. It’s like when you walk up to a door, you elect to open it instead of walking through the glass.. it just OCCURS TO YOU to open the door. Same thing with chicks. If she’s hawt, it just naturally occurs to you to **** her. :D

To be clear, this is quite different from the much heralded and lately overused “I’m A Sex Addict” excuse. I’m not saying that guys can’t control themselves. I’m saying the desire is automatic.

Lots of guys claim they’re going to be faithful to their girlfriends or wives while they’re in a state of no other women throwing sex at them. It’s very easy to claim you’re not going to do something that you have no opportunity to do anyway. I can say I’m not going to climb The Great Wall of China because I’m not in China. However, if I were standing right next to the wall with the proper equipment, hehehe >:D

So a lot of guys get caught out there when women press up on them because they’re not used to the rush. They’re not used to the concept “I could actually have sex with this woman right here”, and in some cases, it’s just too much for them to pass up.

Yes, I know that’s a sign of weakness and not upholding their word, etc. I agree with that entirely. I’m just saying that there are SOME times where guys legitimately expected and fully intended to be faithful to their women and just plain FAILED in the face of real opportunity. I’m not saying they should be excused for their behavior, just mentioning a possibility.

“Strange”

There’s also the concept of “Strange”, which is short for “Strange *****”, which basically means a female you haven’t had sex with yet.

A lot of guys will hook up with a gal just because it’s going to be a DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE from his regular chick. Her body is different. Her movements are different. The way she sounds is different. Her motivations are different. What she’s willing to do is different…

Sometimes, guys cheat just to see how it is.. Try something different for a change. Actually, sometimes, this works to his girlfriend’s benefit because he has such a wack experience that he realizes how good he has it at home and reapplies his focus to his woman! :D

Breach of Contract (Looks)

This is partially the guy’s fault for downplaying the importance of his physical attraction to his woman in describing the reasons he decided to “Wife her up”, but attractiveness & access are built in parameters to romantic relationships. The reason he chose you is that you were more attractive than other women he met, or perhaps that you were LESS attractive, yet way less of a PITA (Pain In The Ass). Either way, at the time he kicked it to you, you were above a certain threshold of attractiveness according to his personal tastes.

Therefore, you may be found to be in Breach of Contract should your physical appearance change dramatically. If you were slim when he met you and then you cold lamped on the couch with the bon bons and the remote control until you put on 30-40 pounds, he just might not be interested in hooking up with you anymore.

Same thing in the other direction. If he completely enjoyed the fact that you have more bounce to the ounce and then you decide to starve yourself so you can look like the stick-figure mannequins they put on fashion show runways to emulate walking coat hangers, he just might not be interested in hooking up with you anymore.

If he liked your long, flowing dark hair and you cut it and dye it blonde, he just might not be interested in hooking up with you anymore. You don’t have to like it or even believe it. It’s just a potential fact. Apply some basic logic.. Guys don’t like hooking up with chicks that don’t turn them on when they’re SINGLE!.. Why in the hell would they want to do that when they’re in a relationship? O_o

Breach of Contract (Action)

Similarly.. If he still *IS* attracted to you and you decide to stop hooking up with him for whatever reason(s) you have, that’s tantamount to Breach of Contract as well. You can’t have your cake and eat it too. You can’t claim exclusive domain over a guy’s sexual satisfaction and then not give it up. hahaha Sorry. It doesn’t work like that. :D

Is it your *RIGHT* not to hook up with him? Absolutely!.. Unequivocally! :D … And then right after that, your man’s going to figure out how he’s going to get laid since you abdicated your position. If you’re not getting under the desk with the cigar, some other chick will.. Capisce? haha YA FEEL ME? :D

Power / Ego

Lots of times, guys cheat in order to prove to themselves that they can.. that they’ve still “got it”. If he’s a Hunter, for instance, he’s not going to be satisfied with resting on his laurels and relying on old-ass memories of Glory Days in way-past history to validate who he is today by recalling who he used to be.

So you pulled one chick 20 years ago, or 10 years ago, or last year or last month or last week or yesterday, who cares? That was then and this is now. What can you do TODAY? >:D Can you still pull chicks with your looks, style, charisma, gift of gab, gimmicks, lies, authentic interactions, whatever? Who are you NOW? Can you still make it happen?

This is probably one of the more unfortunate reasons because it has nothing to do with whether his current relationship is satisfying or even stellar. It just has to do with his desire to prove something to himself that hooking up with his woman AGAIN isn’t going to validate for him.

Belief System

There are some people, myself included, that just don’t believe in traditional relationships at all. I believe in real relationships. There are people that I’m down for and people that are down for me and we demonstrate that towards each other with our actions throughout history. There’s a gal I’ve never officially dated, but we’ve been together for ~14 years now. She’s met some of my girlfriends, I’ve met some of her boyfriends. If you ask the drones, I have no relationship to her at all because we’ve never declared ourselves “an item”. Meanwhile, my relationship to her is one of the most realistic that I’ve had in my life and probably will EVER have in my life. She does her thing, I do my thing and when we come together, that’s how the day went.

Unfortunately, guys find out rather quickly that if they want an actual girlfriend, they’re going to have to verbally commit to her, truthfully or otherwise. It’s like how when you go to court, they have you swear on The Bible to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.. but what if you’re an Atheist? O_o They’re accepting your oath about something you don’t believe in in the first place.

So there are some guys that don’t believe that their girlfriends or wives don’t have any say over what he does with his personal life and promising her fidelity is completely meaningless. It’s just something she has to hear in order to get down with the program.

Revenge

Even though I think it’s extremely corny, I’m sure there are lots of times that guys hook up with other chicks in order to “get back” at their girlfriends or make them feel poorly. An argument jumps off or he feels disrespected in some way and he decides that he’s gonna “show HER!” by acting out and doing something he knows she’s not going to like.

Of course, this could lead to a spiral of revenge where she gets him back for getting her back and then he gets her back for getting him back ad nauseam. If that’s the case, you’re probably better off just breaking up with each other and saving yourselves and your friends that have to hear about and get dragged in to the drama from the misery.

Attitude

Believe it or not, there are guys that are turned off to having sex with a chick because she’s a JERK! :D

It’s kind of funny how women seem to believe that they can dump all kinds of negativity on a guy and he’s still going to be interested in hooking up with her like he was when everything was fun between them. Meanwhile, that’s why he hits the bar for two hours after work before coming home to you. First of all, so he can avoid you for two hours.. Second, so he can have pleasant company between being at work and being at home, and Third, so he can be drunk by the time you start running your mouth about nothing important.

Some guys end up cheating because they just simply have a nicer relationship to other women than their girlfriends/wives. It’s like “This side-female is doing for me and making my life wonderful while my main chick nags and gets on my nerves every chance she gets.. Why am I doing more for a troublemaker than someone who’s on the same page with me?”.

Again, this is partially *HIS* fault for not telling his woman to shape the **** up and stop being such a pest. It’s also his fault for not screening her properly before selecting her for a long term relationship. He would have known she had a crabby demeanor if he had been talking and LISTENING to her when they went out on dates instead of ignoring her babbling and hooking up with her until she accidentally got pregnant and he got stuck. \o/

Peer Pressure

When guys are hangin’ out “gettin’ girls”, there’s a lot of peer pressure for everyone to participate. It’s actually like a little side-game to see if guys that swear up and down that they’re not interested in women other than their girlfriends change their minds in the flow of the evening.

This is another unfortunate reason, because, again, it has nothing to do with satisfaction or dissatisfaction with the current relationship. A lot of guys get caught up in this, especially when alcohol is involved, and they wake up regretting it or not being able to look their woman in the eye or feeling like they need to fess up and let her know what they did behind her back. On top of that, they don’t even have a good excuse.. Not that ANY excuse for infidelity is “good”, but “I don’t know… It just happened. \o/” is entirely horrific. :D

The other problem with this is that some dudes just don’t want to see other dudes happy so they try to get them to hook up on purpose, specifically so they can get busted and their relationships might end. :/

It’s just sex \o/

Most of the time that you hear about guys cheating, they’re admitting that they got busted. Normally, they don’t get busted QUICKLY after they start cheating. You hear stuff like “I’ve been hooking up with a least 14 chicks that you know of for the last three years”. “I’ve been hooking up with some horrific-looking tattoo female for 11 months”. “I spent $4,000 on hookers”. “I skated to South America on the sneaks to spend time with The Love Of My Life”.

None of this stuff is new. This means that for a year or more, all of these women enjoyed perfectly normal relationships to their men while these guys were getting their side action. That’s because that’s what it is. Action. Recreation. Something to do. These guys didn’t tell their wives they wanted a divorce. They fully expected to continue having their cake and eating it too.

Clearly, as far as they were concerned, fidelity or monogamy had nothing to do with their marriages. They knew who they wanted to have sex with and they knew who they wanted to come home to.

The obvious exception to this is the “Love Of My Life” Governor-dude, because if he was so in love, how come he didn’t just divorce his wife and spend his days in South America with the woman he really cares about? O_o

Anyway.. A lot of guys cheat because it “Don’t Mean Nuthin’ \o/”. They can do it, enjoy their lives and get away clean with it without their wives finding out. Of course, it’s a gamble because if their wives DO find out, they could lose the Kids, the Cash and the Crib! :D

Biology & Statistics

There have to be another thousand reasons why guys cheat that I haven’t mentioned in this post. In fact.. I’m sure there are more reasons why guys DO cheat than there are reasons why they DON’T. If you can think of any, post your favorites in the comment section, below.

Some people like to roll with the biology excuse. I’ve brought it up myself to explain why monogamy isn’t natural, but I don’t believe it usually applies to this particular topic. I don’t know anybody that has sex with the actual INTENTION of having kids. It’s usually like “Whoops! \o/”.

Even though it’s true that having children with different women increases your offspring’s chances for viability in the next generation due to differing genetic combinations, I REEEEEEALLY don’t think that’s what anybody’s thinking when they decide to screw some chick other than their girlfriend or wife. It’s about fun, sensuality, recreation, variety, enjoying the day.. Lots of things.

The only way around this, IMO, is for women to get involved with men that are looking for one girlfriend to begin with. Good Luck with that because there are so many women that are ready and willing to sell out at the drop of a hat that guys looking for long term relationships tend to go off the market relatively quickly, if not instantly.

I’m not saying that all guys cheat, but the infidelity statistics for relationships (men and women combined) has hovered around 50% for the longest. That’s 1 out of every 2 people that cheats at some point during their relationship. IMO, all you can do is put your best foot forward, bring your A-Game to the table, spend a good amount of time getting to know what your Significant Other thinks and feels, and hope for the best.

Are Women Funny?

Bill Cammack — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 11:27:41 +0000

Are women funny?

My sister Liz is funny, but that’s because she’s my sister and we share superior genes. Kim will catch you out there with a slew of punchlines if you get on her nerves, FRLZ, and I think Mel’s probably pretty mentally dangerous in a snap-fest, but, overall… are women FUNNY?

I know there are female comedians, and I’ve been laughing incessantly over how I can’t tell Tina Fey apart from Sarah Palin,

but… in general… are women funny? And if so… Is there “Male Humor” and “Female Humor”?

I’m thinking about this because I watched / listened to a panel of bigwigs in the internet comedy space yesterday. After they spoke, they had a Q&A session, and my homegirl Kathryn Jones got her hands on the mic…. RUH ROHHHH!!! :D

Kathryn Jones & Bill Cammack

So, basically, Kathryn asked “Where is the content BY women and the content FOR women?” and the answer was “um, uh, um, uh, um…” hahahahaha :D Kathryn’s been asking this question ever since I met her, so as soon as I saw her get the mic, I was like AWWWWW HERE WE GO!!!!! :D

The answers made sense, business-wise, and the thing to remember is that this internet stuff is business for them, not art or entertainment. If you do “art” and nobody watches it or buys ads on your content, you get fired. If you do business, and it’s the same business over and over, you get advertising dollars and you keep your job.

Basically, they said they have a demographic and they cater to it. Business 101. If the people watching your content is GUYS, then you make more content that GUYS would like so that they tell MORE GUYS to watch your videos and you grow your community and make more money.

Rocketboom had a study done a while back, which IIRC determined that a whopping 8% of their viewership was female. Of course, that has to do with Eye Candy, but that’s a different topic. The point is… well… the point, I guess, is a question… “If 92% of your viewership is male, why cater to females at all?” or, “Why not do things that affect 92% of your viewership instead of 8%?”. That’s how I was feeling during that silent period right after Kathryn asked her question and the panelists were mentally deciding who was going to address it. :)

One panelist even said that if they were going to do female-oriented content, they would have to make a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SITE! :D This and other comments that escape me right now are what got me thinking about this topic. Is there a difference between “female humor” and “male humor”? Do women (in general) get stuff that’s “funny to women” and men get stuff that’s “funny to men”?

Assuming that’s the case… In this era of niche marketing, there’s no “space” for the combination of “male and female humor”. Doing stuff to attract women will “turn off” male viewers, taking away from “the bottom line”. The question becomes whether attempting to increase the low percentage of female viewers will decrease the number of male viewers to the point that it wasn’t worth it in the first place.

The moderator had the solution… technically… which was to bring in female content creators to make videos specifically geared towards a female audience. However, this fit EXACTLY into the other two theories, which were basically “We’re going to cater to what our demographic is” and “If we’re going to ‘add’ females, we need to make a completely different site”.

On a different topic, yet the same, in a way… I ran into the same issue with my DatingGenius blog. Being a guy, I can blog all day and all night about tricks and tips for “getting girls”. It’s easy to create content for males, because all guys want to know is how to get around the artificial obstacles women throw up which prevent / delay guys from getting laid. It’s not so easy for me to create content for women, because I have to reverse-engineer it. I think to myself “What would *I* do to them?” and then figure out their defense against me and write it. The only other way I get female-oriented material is through actual discussions with my myriad homegirls and selecting common issues that they have, like why guys catcall.

Thinking about this question in terms of my own content, it’s clear to me that if I gave a damn about having female-oriented content and I knew damned well that my mind didn’t generate this stuff on its own, I would need to bring in someone who understands “female comedy” to handle that part of my business for me. This is why it was funny to hear “um, uh, um…” when Kathryn brought up the same topic she always brings up :D , because you would think that if I’VE heard the question a million times, THEY would have heard the question a BILLION times and done something about it by now.

However… Being that internet video is about “the bottom line”, viewership, eyeballs, revenue sharing, CPM, CPC etc etc etc, women may just have to wait until they’re seen as a “market” worth throwing funds at…. haha Wait… I forgot something. :D

Assuming that it’s NOT the case that there’s “male humor” and “female humor”, there should be a crossover. You should be able to make comedy shows by females that males flock to (other than because they think she looks good and don’t give a damn what she’s saying anyway) and comedy shows by males that increase the female presence in your demographic surveys.

The whole idea may be self-fulfilling. We can’t get female numbers up higher than blah blah percent, so why bother catering to them? Meanwhile, not catering to them doesn’t increase your female viewership past those traditional percentages.

I have no idea and totally don’t care what my demos are for DatingGenius. I try to mix it up and have something for tha fellaz AND tha ladiez! Then again, DG isn’t a business. It’s something I do for kicks. If I were doing it for money, haha, I might be in the same boat with the panelists, saying essentially “Our statistics haven’t show that the sector you’re asking about is worth us wasting our production money on, due to lack of ROI”.

So maybe it doesn’t matter whether women are funny or not. Even if they WERE, they’re not going to see any light unless businesses can figure out ways to make money off of them. Seems to me like a void waiting to be filled by women that are willing to create their own content, encode, post, distribute and market it THEMSELVES and take advantage while the currently established sites get caught slippin’.

~Bill

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