Abiola Abrams & Bill Cammack
Photo Credit: German Marin

My homegirl, Abiola Abrams [Web/Twitter/Facebook] was selected by MTV to be a “Made” coach.

Her episode was about transforming a 15-year-old, scrawny geek dude into a Ladies Man.

You can see deleted scenes on the MTV: “Made” site, and eventually, they’ll have the full episode available.

I personally enjoyed the show. I thought it was very funny, and Abiola’s advice and training was on-point.

I also found it interesting that for once, they sent a female to tell a guy how to get girls.

This actually makes sense, because Abiola can tell guys what she doesn’t like about their presentation, technique or style in the same way I can tell chicks how to dress or carry themselves if they want to be the cream that rises to the top in the dating game and snag the guy they want instead of letting the next gal bag him.

Abiola threw a viewing party at NYC’s “SoHo Room” to celebrate the show’s premiere. Here’s the link to her blog post about the evening and the photo gallery => http://www.abiolatv.com/2011/02/mtv-made-ladies-man-watching-party-at.html

The festivities included Speed Dating… Here’s a video of Abiola breakin’ down the rules:

YouTube Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gMoSBPr9Gxo

A good time was had by all at the party. Dude on the episode learned some essential skillz and ended up bagging not only a nice date for his party, but receiving his first kiss from a girl instead of that piece of bread that he was practicing kissing with…. Don’t ask.. Just watch the show. :D

I’m expecting more power moves from Abiola throughout 2011. Stay Tuned! :D

Edit: March 08, 2011 – Watch Abiola’s episode below or click here to watch “Ep. 31 Ladies Man” on MTV.

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As a follow-up to my 2008 post “Women’s Guide to NYC Dating”, I’d like to offer the ladies some of my top tips for those of y’all that are currently involved in the dating scene:

1. Stop going outside looking like a bum

Being that women think romantic situations fall out of the sky via divine intervention, y’all often leave your cribs completely unprepared to visually impress a guy.

Here’s the problem with that. YOU don’t get to decide when you run into a guy you might like to date. If you’re in public AT ALL, you SHOULD be looking STELLAR. Period.

Also, in the year 2010, photo-ops come up instantaneously. If you show up to a party looking BUSTED, that’s what’s going to go out on Facebook, MySpace, Flickr, Bebo, and everywhere else people put pictures and/or videos and then that’s going to represent you to guys that stumble upon images of you in social media streams.

I told a friend of mine I was getting to a party early and her reply was “I’ll be there later because I need to go home from work, get myself looking good and then go to the party”. That’s EXACTLY what she should have done. >:D

Also, if you make plans to go out with someone you’re not romantically interested in, you STILL need to not look bummy because you never know who’s going to show up wherever y’all went to eat, drink or hang out and then you’ll feel corny for wearing your Grandmother 1930′s sweater, non-fitting pants and flip-flops outside instead of looking like a gal a guy would actually like to meet and potentially date.

The Game is *Always* On. Act As If.

2. Only date guys you have references for

A lot of guys wonder why I know so many women. Well… I know so many women because I know so many women.

HAHAHA I’m not being funny when I say that. Women know other women. The more women you know, the more women you’re going to meet. The best thing about that is that there’s a two-way system of checks & balances that comes automatically equipped with your new acquaintance. Both of youse get to ask the middle-woman about the other one.

On top of that, the vast majority of the time, people don’t want to introduce you to crumbs because that’s going to make THEM look bad and look like poor judges of character or even worse, that they were trying to parlay your friendship into some kind of business or networking deal on the sneak tip. So you can pretty much assume before asking either the introducer or the introducee any questions at all that this person is most likely cool.

Meanwhile… Every sentence I hear about dating from women starts out with “I met this guy on okCupid and…”, “I met this guy on PlentyOfFish and…”, “I met this guy on Match.com and…”.. and I’m like “Do these chicks know ANY guys that could actually INTRODUCE THEM to guys they might like to date? :D”.

One of the reasons y’all have so many problems dating is that you keep starting over from scratch with every new guy that you meet that you have ZERO social connection to whatsoever. Another problem is that he doesn’t have any incentive NOT to jerk you around because if you stop talking to him, who cares? He has more girls lined up on the dating sites. If you give him a bad review, who cares? You don’t know anybody he knows, so you’re a tree falling in the woods.

Y’all get to skip all that by meeting guys that your friends already know. If he’s a jerk, you can find that out ahead of time (or else your friends SUCK for not vetting him before introducing him to you). If he’s not a jerk NOW, he’s going to think at least thrice before BECOMING ONE, because he knows his entire social set’s going to find out about it with the worst-case scenario being that your full name becomes slang for a description of a particular way of being.. which is NORMALLY NEGATIVE! :D

I happen to find this extremely funny, BTW! HAHA (example: “Who? Winston?… Yeah, I know him.. That guy’s a Bill Cammack. :/”) hahaha I love that SO MUCH when someone attains the height of notoriety while walking around oblivious to the fact that everyone’s hip to his M.O. hahaha :D

Anyway, ladies.. Y’all need to start meeting guys through homegirls of yours instead of going on all these pot-luck grab-bag dates and ending up playing Parcheesi* at 2am in some hipster bar with some dude that’s currently too drunk to get up and walk away, much less do anything else interesting to you this evening. O_o

* Parcheesi is an actual board game.

“Playing Parcheesi at 2am” is not an euphemism for sex.

To be continued in Part 02: “Communication & Congruence“.

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For all of y’all that were CRYING about “Jessica Simpson & The Everlasting Gobstopper”, boo hoo hoo… It’s only right that I report that Jessica’s made a visual comeback.

She’s obviously reinstated her gym membership and put down the bon bons.

Also, like The Kid said, she shunned that gaudy, leopard-print “Look at me! I’m sucking my stomach in!” belt she wore that other time. She stuck to all black, with a completely non-obvious stomach-control area.

She also rocked that super-long necklace which focuses the eye on length rather than width or girth. Hair nice and long, adding to the effect. Heels maing her legs look longer and enhancing her calf definition. Nice work. Either her stylist has decided to earn their keep or she’s letting her boyfriend dress her.

~Bill

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I had an interesting conversation last night with a few of the ladies @ this party I went to. It jumped off, because one of them said she should hire a stylist (which is going to be The Kid’s new venture, right after I finish writing this post). Unfortunately for her, she had mentioned earlier in conversation that she had a boyfriend. So I immediately replied:

“Your boyfriend’s supposed to be your stylist.”

She immediately dropped back into this “what’chu talkin’ ’bout, Willis?” pose and was looking at me with this funny expression, so I was like AWWWWW HEEEEERE WE *GO*!!! :D

Her general position was that guys can’t dress girls. I was like “of course they can, because we know what looks good on you and what doesn’t”, to which she replied:

“Men know what looks good on women, but they don’t know WHY it looks good.”

So I stood there for a few seconds, waiting for her to say something that made sense.

…….

That didn’t happen. :)

Here’s the problem with her statement… Looking good is not OBjective, it’s SUBjective. You feel a certain way when you see something that looks good. A painting, a chick, architecture, whatever. Also, what looks good to one person doesn’t necessarily look good to someone else. So… The fact THAT something looks good is way more important than the reason WHY it looks good.

Stephanie Frasco & Bill Cammack

I’m sure you could ask a guy WHY some article of clothing looks good on a chick. You probably won’t get a response for a while, because auxiliary power has been switched to 1) looking, 2) thinking about what he’s looking at and 3) continuing to stand up straight instead of falling over. After that, he may or may not be able to give you a technical description of WHY that item looks good on her, but the fact remains that “WHY” doesn’t matter. All that matters is that he receives the proper physical stimulus from checking her out. :)

So anyway, I tried to inform her that she didn’t know what she was talking about. I think the next thing I asked was:

“So your man doesn’t buy clothes for you?”

Same “what’chu talkin’ ’bout, Willis?” pose + weirdo stare. :) That’s when The Kid realized he wasn’t going to get anywhere with this as a one-on-one conversation and opened the floor to some nearby females. At least there was a range of responses. One said that her man bought clothes for her, but then equated that to him being domineering and posessive. Another one agreed with the first one, that men can’t buy clothes for women. A third one said that she had been with a guy who would buy her clothes sporadically. Needless to say, this had ZERO effect on the original gal’s perspective, which is why, as of today, I am now a personal shopper…. or shopping assistant….. or whatever the title is of people that get paid to tell people what to wear, hahaha :D

As my first oficial act of … hmm. I guess this makes me ShoppingGenius! :D

As my first official act as ShoppingGenius, I will now inform the fellaz on how to dress your girlfriends…..

First of all, the most important thing is knowing how SHE likes to dress in the first place. This is important because you want her to WEAR what you buy for her. If she likes to dress like a dude, don’t pick up a sun dress for her. If she likes to dress like Little House on the Prarie, don’t buy her modern clothing. You have to find out what your parameters are, and then select appealing gear inside that range.

Second, you have to know her size. This is important because you want her to be ABLE TO WEAR what you buy for her. :) Being that she’s your girlfriend, at some point in time, you should have access to her clothes when they’re not attached to her body. Write down her measurements, or twitter them to yourself. Make sure you do this while she’s asleep or in the shower. You know how chicks get with hallucinating about their actual size, or at least lying TO YOU about what it is. This is why you’re not going to ASK HER what her sizes are. She’ll give you the sizes she wishes she was, and not the sizes of clothes she can actually fit in. This reminds me… use your judgement. If your girl loves to stuff herself in jeans, creating unnecessary Muffin-Tops, make sure you increase the value of the sizes you retrieved from her gear.

Also, buying clothes for chicks is seasonal. If you go out with one for an entire year, you’ll notice they tend to get more and less “liquid”. This is, of course, unless they actually diligently monitor their physical condition, which is optimal! :D Anyway, you have to know where your girl currently is with her volume fluctuation. VOLUME is the key thing here, not weight, which is why it’s so funny that chicks always talk about “I need to lose 5 pounds” “I need to lose 10 pounds”, when who cares how much you weigh, when you don’t LOOK any better? So make sure you err on the high side of her volume, or else she’ll only be able to wear the gear in like three month cycles.

Now, you might be wondering… “Why in the hell would *I* want to dress my chick?” :) Well… Why did you buy that fancy car? Why do you work your ass off all day to get some money? Why did you go to the gym to work off all that beer that you drank? The same way you’re hooking YOURSELF up, you should be hooking YOUR GIRL up. There are a few reasons for this…

Women tend to confuse “a clothing item which looks cute” with “a clothing item which looks cute ON THEM”. How many times have you seen/heard women compliment another woman that looks absolutely HORRENDOUS in some gear that doesn’t fit her? It’s not that they’re being polite. They actually believe it looks good, I guess because of the colors or the fabric? \o/ … If your girl has this problem, you need to help her out with her clothing selection.

Did you ever notice how Presidential candidates are always married? This is because (amongst OTHER reasons, hahahahaha) guys are judged by their chicks. If you Pair Bond with a chick, you’re saying “this is the best I can do”. Having your chick look better, rather than worse, is ALWAYS in your best interest.

On a personal note, you want your girl to look good because she should ALWAYS catalyze you to think/feel “Yes, Yes… Yes Sir… Cain’t wait to tap that, sunnnnnnn :D “. If you let your girl walk around like a slovenly hippie bum, she’s not going to inspire you… causing you to interact with her more platonically than you’re supposed to and your entire physical relationship to her is less efficient/effective than it should be. The better SHE looks, the more into her YOU’RE going to be, and the more SHE’S going to be into how into her YOU are.

One more thing is, you don’t want to overdo it hahaha :) You’re buying her clothes to go out in the street in, not to model for you in your own crib (which is another issue, entirely). You want her to look good, but not like a professional hooker. Actually… if SHE tends to overdo her gear, buy her some conservative clothing that still looks hawt on her. The first benefit here is that if your girl looks too good, drunk dudes tend to act like AssHats and you might get in a beef over it. Second, you don’t want to tip the “fail scale” and go from “damn… his girl looks HAWT!” to “I know he’s paying her” (as in, he’s a customer). Third, you want it to be gear that she’s comfortable wearing, and some chicks just aren’t comfortable with how attractive they really are.

So now you’re ready. Sneak her measurements. Add at least +2 to all of them. Hit stores that are along the lines of gear she likes to wear, except buy GOOD-LOOKING ish. Surprise her with her presents, then go sport your new & improved chick around town.

PS – You do NOT want to tell her HOW you were able to buy clothes for her that fit perfectly. Make up something romantic like “baby, I’ve held you so many times, I just knew…. :D ”

So go out there and make it happen. Remember…

DiY, or your girl’s going to pay me YOUR MONEY to do your job for you. :D

ShoppingGenius

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