Dumped For Personality?

Over the last couple of weeks, no fewer than three of my homegirls (and probably more that I’m not aware of) have dumped a guy because of his personality.

I’m always amused by these stories because I like to consider the reverse situation and whether I’d stop kickin’ it with a chick for the same reasons. Continue reading “Dumped For Personality?”

Why You Got Dumped After Sex

I’ve been suffering recently from listening to some incredibly short-sighted views about WHY women get dumped right after they give it up. This phenomenon is known as “hit it and quit it” or “pump it and dump it”.

Women try to avoid this situation to the best of their abilities. Unfortunately, their abilities are practically ZERO, because they don’t understand WHY they got dumped.


Love 'Em, Leave 'EmThe popular belief is a time-based cause & effect. Because she gave it up too soon, she got dumped. The problem with this line of “reasoning” is that women play hard to get and stall guys to the point where they feel they’ve outlasted the “she gave it up quick, she’s a slut” stigma, then fiiiiiiiinally have sex with the guy and he vanishes into thin air.

What’s your excuse now? πŸ˜€ You didn’t give it up quick. It wasn’t EASY for him to get on. You made him take you out over and over and introduce you to his friends and/or family. You made him buy you stuff and tell you that he loves you and that you’re in a committed relationship together. You did everything you were supposed to do, and as soon as you gave him some, *BAMF*, you never hear from him again. hahaha Ah Well… C’est La Vie. Que Cera, Cera. Easy Come, Easy Go haha no pun intended. πŸ˜€

So let’s look at some of the reasons you got dumped right after having sex with your so-called boyfriend. Continue reading “Why You Got Dumped After Sex”

5 Ways To Keep Your Woman If You Get Laid Off

In these jacked-up financial times, A LOT of men (and women) are losing their jobs. Check out this ridiculously long line of people trying to get PAID:


Get A Job – RockStar 0006

Now, it’s bad enough to lose your source of income AND your entire social set in one fell swoop. It’s even WORSE when your lady steps to the left because you’re not bringing home your portion of the rent…. Well…. It’s even *WORSE* if she makes *YOU* step to the left, like happened to Wesley in “Jungle Fever”, but we won’t think about that right now. πŸ˜€

Having grown up in the ghetto… ok… Having grown up WITH people who lived in the ghetto, I’m well-versed in getting and KEEPING women on a low budget. Those of youse that have always pulled women with all your money, cars and houses might be S.O.L. without your gimmicks, so here are five things you can do to stay in position and keep your woman in pocket: Continue reading “5 Ways To Keep Your Woman If You Get Laid Off”

Why Your Boyfriend Dumped You

So I’m reading this BlogHer post and the author is amazed that her boyfriend dumped her for not sexing him often enough (in this case, 3 times a week) and I’m like ????? What did you expect?

You know? I mean, really. :/ I find it amazing that we’re moving into the year 2009 and grown-ass-women who have access to books, televisions, IRL friends and computers are SURPRISED when they get dumped because they’re sexually incompatible with their significant other.

That’s why you were hired. Just about the ONLY items in your job description are:

  a) look good
  b) don’t act like a jerk
  c) be sexy

If you can’t do that, you deserve to be fired, and there shouldn’t be any question in your mind why you were ejected. I mean, it’s dumb… It’s like taking a job as a teacher and then complaining that kids keep showing up and asking you questions. :/ What did you EXPECT to do as somebody’s GIRLFRIEND? Continue reading “Why Your Boyfriend Dumped You”

Sluts & Whores

There’s nothing a guy loves more than a girl who gives it up… except… there’s nothing a guy hates more than a girl who gives it up. :/

This is one of the most %^&ed-up situations about dating… both for men AND women. It’s obvious why it’s %^&ed-up for women, but it really psychologically screws with guys’ heads, being that they’re the ones that society has dictated has to be the aggressor/initiator.

According to Webster’s, a slut is “a promiscuous woman”. Also, according to Webster’s, a whore is “a woman who engages in sexual acts for money” (and, to be fair, “a male who engages in sexual acts for money”).

Off the bat, by definition, “whore” should be excluded from our vocabulary, IMO, other than to describe a situation where a chick had sex with you because you gave her money to do so. There are no amendments to the definition which mention “chicks who had sex with you because you bought them dinner”, “chicks who had sex with you because you took them out on your yacht” or “chicks who had sex with you because you took them to the movies”, so it seems that the only situation where “whore” is applicable is actual prostitution.

So that leaves us with “Slut”. How did “Slut” become such a negative term, when the definition is “a promiscuous woman”? Who started that? Think about it…

While you’re considering that, think about how pornography and strip clubs are big business in the USA. Apparently, LOTS OF GUYS “like” promiscuous women (and, yes, strippers count, because there are lots of places where you can pay them to do more than dance). Every “Western” movie you ever saw (not that those are accurate depictions of the Wild West) had a whorehouse in it, where everybody would hang out, play cards, get drunk and screw whatever chicks were attractive to them and available at the time. Every movie and televison show you’ve ever seen, from Sean Connery in the James Bond series to David Duchovny in Californication has the male lead getting laid left and right, with no end in sight. So, WHO started the negativity towards “sluts”, and why have you bought into this and propagated it?

Actually, it’s kind of funny. πŸ˜€ Just about everybody has a reason to detest “sluts”….

Single guys detest “sluts” because they feel less special that a girl gave them some if she gives EVERYBODY some.

Single women detest “sluts” because they get all the attention from the guys and make it hard for girls who don’t want to give it up to get boyfriends… or even DATES for that matter, since it gets around that they’re not “putting out”.

Married guys detest “sluts” because if you accidentally marry one, she’s liable to give it up to the next man tout de suite! πŸ˜€ Also, if she has a kid offa him, what’reya supposed to do about THAT? πŸ™ Boot the chick, and you probably don’t get to see your own kids so often. Keep her, and you have to raise the next man’s kid along with your own. Rock + Hard Place.

Married women detest “sluts” for hooking up with their husbands and decimating their power in the marriage. No more “sex embargo”, since he can step to the left and screw his goomah if you’re not akkin’ right. πŸ˜€ They also detest “sluts” for having kids with their husbands and dividing the family income via child support obligations.

ok… So, no wonder this ridiculousness persists. Everybody’s down with it! πŸ˜€

So… What’s the catchy term for “Woman who feels like getting laid and goes ahead and does that whenever she chooses?”………

The only thing we have is like this fetish term, “Cougars”, which basically denotes an older woman that has money and goes after younger guys, because she’s got it like that. The reason that’s a fetish is because it’s still considered out of the norm… an anomaly… a form of deviance. Where’s the term for a REGULAR chick, whose REGULAR life includes hooking up with whatever guys she finds attractive at that time?

Unfortunately, with the definition of “slut” being “a promiscuous woman”, that covers all the bases. πŸ˜€ Regardless of whether she’s having sex from her own base of power and choice or because she’s weak-minded or “easy” or translates sexual encounters into her own self esteem, she’s thrown into the category of “slut” and consequently demeaned.

Oh… In case I didn’t take the proof deep enough… The Webster’s definition of promiscuous is “not restricted to one sexual partner”. So, a “slut” is ANY woman that’s “not restricted to one sexual partner”.

Now, I’m not “righteous” in this situation, haha πŸ˜€ The reason I ever even considered any of this was that I was having a conversation back in the day with a friend where I was explaining to him that this chick got dumped by her boyfriend because she admitted to him that she was a slut (practically verbatim. I don’t remember exactly what I said). His response was, basically “What makes her a slut?”, to which I had no immediate answer, hahaha because TO ME, it was clear and obvious. When I explained to him that she admitted having multiple upon multiple sexual partners before her boyfriend and that’s why he dumped her, my friend’s response was, essentially “So what, if that’s what she wanted to do? What difference does that make in her relationship to him NOW?” Much more argument ensued, but I realized rather quickly that I didn’t have a good argument for calling her a slut, and that I had fallen for the okey-doke. SOMEBODY had made this garbage up, and I was propagating it. I immediately admitted that he was right, amended my personality and moved forward from there. πŸ˜€

Having said that, I understood the “dumper boyfriend’s” viewpoint. On the one hand, there were tons of guys that had already screwed his girl. She was a local, so so were they, hahaha πŸ˜€ I can see that as being a drag for a guy, wasting brain processing cycles wondering if the guy that just said “hi” to her in the street already hit that. I can also see him irrationally mistrusting her, thinking she’s going to hook up with just anybody, anytime she wants to, even though there was no evidence that she ever CHEATED on ANYBODY… She just had sex with a whole hell of a lot of dudes. πŸ˜€

There was also probably the issue of “performance anxiety”. It’s better for guys to feel like either nobody or only a couple of dudes tapped that so that when they do their thing, she might be impressed. When you throw 30-odd dudes into the mix, the odds that you’re sexually enthralling trend towards ZERO. πŸ˜€ HAHAHAHAHA

Anyway…

Now, it’s YOUR turn to think about it. Who do YOU think is a “slut”? Is that a fair assessment? Should she be demeaned or applauded for her behavior? Is she “easy”? Is she being used? Or is she doing what she wants to do with the one life she’s going to have?

~Bill

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