Sex Excuses: I Have A Headache

I Have A Headache

I always found the excuse “I have a headache”, which I’ve only heard of on television and in the movies, to be an hilarious attempt at declining to have sex with someone.

It doesn’t make any sense. ๐Ÿ™‚ Continue reading “Sex Excuses: I Have A Headache”

I’m Only A Man [RW:DC, Part 01]

One of my most popular posts is 2008’s “How To Break Up With Your Girl”. It seems like every single day, somebody wants to know how to break up with a girl….

***** SPOILER ALERT for Real World: DC ***** If you don’t want to know what happened last night, stop reading now! ๐Ÿ˜€


Being a professional at getting rid of chicks while maximizing their potential to feel good about it, I was sitting there like :O watching Josh dump his girlfriend on RW:DC last night. It was horrific. It was brutal.

I know how brutal it was because I did just about the exact same thing back in the day. Continue reading “I’m Only A Man [RW:DC, Part 01]”

Tell Chicks You’re Crazy!

Check these chicks out talking about how sexy it is that a guy goes to therapy:

Now, this is one of those things that you can completely take advantage of. It’s pretty much a New York City staple for people to be in “therapy”. If you don’t know what therapy is, it’s when someone smarter than you tells you what’s really going on in your life that you can’t see yourself. So, basically, a chick goes to the therapist and lays down on the couch (did you ever actually notice that “Therapist” spells “The Rapist”?) and says “People think I’m a ho, and I can’t stand that”. The therapist goes “How many guys did you have sex with in the same group?”, and then she says “10… Wait… 11.” So then the therapist says “Guys think you’re easy because they all got some, effortlessly” and then bills you for their wisdom.

I hadn’t thought of this before, but this is a brilliant way to get over. Tell chicks you’re crazy. You’re insane, except!!!…. You’re WORKIN’ ON IT! ๐Ÿ˜€ Continue reading “Tell Chicks You’re Crazy!”

Sex By Mistake?

Bill Cammack / Weapons of Ass DistractionLadies. Please wake up. There is no such thing as a guy having sex by mistake. Period. No chance, no way, no how. None.

I was having this conversation about “the truth” with a friend the other day, and the scenario came up of a guy being in a relationship with one chick and then having sex with a different chick and returning to his so-called “girlfriend” and telling her “the truth”.

Unfortunately, ๐Ÿ™‚ My friend’s version of a guy telling “the truth” included “blah blah blah blah and I made a mistake and blah blah blah”. Sorry. That doesn’t exist.

Free Will

What had happened was….. He did what he wanted to do AT. THAT. TIME., and now he feels sorry about it.

Maybe he feels sorry because he went back on his word, which has nothing to do with his girl and everything to do with who he thinks he is as a person and what he believes (believED) his overall character is (was).

Maybe he feels sorry because he didn’t think he was the type of guy to cheat, and he found out “the hard way” that he was (is).

Maybe he feels sorry that he can’t look his girl in the eye and continue the lie that he’s only having sex with her. Continue reading “Sex By Mistake?”

Alcohol Is No Excuse!

I have an intimate relationship with alcoholic beverages.

Bill Cammack

This is why I just completely DETEST when people try to use alcohol as an excuse as far as why they did something. It’s a copout. It’s bullshit. There are two main reasons for this.

First… if YOU drank the alcohol YOURSELF, and you knew what you were drinking, I don’t want to hear it. The only break you might get is if you’re just beginning drinking. A friend of mine in college drank alcohol for what may have been his first time, but was DEFINITELY a rare occasion for him, and he swore up and down that our other friend’s hair was WHITE… when I was looking right at it, and my friend’s hair was BLACK. ๐Ÿ˜€ As friends, it was our duty and responsibility to BAN THAT GUY FROM DRINKING EVER AGAIN! He did it as an experiment, just to try it out, but alcohol just didn’t agree with him and it was in everyone’s best interest, especially his own that he keep his mind right, so he was banned. Continue reading “Alcohol Is No Excuse!”