Id, Ego, Superego

According to Webster’s, these are the definitions for id, ego and superego:

Id: the one of the three divisions of the psyche in psychoanalytic theory that is completely unconscious and is the source of psychic energy derived from instinctual needs and drives

ego: the one of the three divisions of the psyche in psychoanalytic theory that serves as the organized conscious mediator between the person and reality especially by functioning both in the perception of and adaptation to reality

superego: the one of the three divisions of the psyche in psychoanalytic theory that is only partly conscious, represents internalization of parental conscience and the rules of society, and functions to reward and punish through a system of moral attitudes, conscience, and a sense of guilt

Now… I just had an interesting conversation the other night about these concepts based on my post “Alcohol Is No Excuse”. Basically, what I said in that post, without getting into the underlying psychology is that as long as you don’t completely incapacitate yourself with alcohol, you’re doing what you WANT to do when you’re drunk, and not some crazy, off-the-wall ish that “came out of nowhere”. Therefore, Alcohol is NOT an excuse for cheating or abusive behavior or whatever.

So I’m chatting with this friend of mine, and she asks me about Freud. I’m like “What about him?”, and she brings up id, ego and superego. I don’t remember verbatim what she said, but it revolved around which of the three is actually “You”. I hadn’t thought about it before, because, to me, it’s obvious that the id is “You”… However, I realize that my whole post about alcohol was based on that particular belief of mine and that it’s worth discussing the three divisions.

According to the definition above, the id is your natural instinct… it’s what you would do without any parameters or external interference. The superego holds the rules for what you’re SUPPOSED to do in a given situation. The ego is where “You” decide what you’re going to do, taking into account the influences of the id and the superego. My impression of drinking, based on these three, is that there’s the potential for the superego to become disabled or disappear entirely, leaving the ego with only the stimulus from the id when it comes to deciding what to do.

This is why people wake up the next day talkin’ ’bout “Why didn’t you stop me?” and “I’m not that type of person” and “I don’t hook up with people I just met” and “I only screw attractive chicks” and “That’s not your twin brother’s baby… it’s yours”. They’ve tried so hard to NOT be who they really are that they don’t recognize their own behavior when the rules disappear from their minds.

So… Depending on how you see this, by alcohol removing the superego’s influence, it’s either removing what you think is “You”, leaving you ‘prey’ to your own natural instincts… or it’s ENABLING you to be “You” by removing what you’ve been taught that’s suppressing your natural way of being. Well… Sorry… You are NOT the rules your parents taught you. You are NOT what you learned in school. You are NOT the contents of your wallet. You are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.

How do I know this? Because whomever you really are, you will be taught different things depending on what society you’re born into or come into contact with. “Morals” are different in different places. That has nothing to do with who YOU are and what turns YOU on and what doesn’t. The superego is set up for you to not make yourself a pariah or worse by disrespecting society’s standards. If your society says every guy should have ONE girlfriend and you have SEVERAL, you’re out of bounds. The superego reminds you to play it off as if you’re only messing with one chick. Are you really doing that? No. You’re maintaining your staus in society (as well as assuring a decent probability of physical safety/survival) by going along with what people EXPECT you to do and what people TOLD you to do.

How come these rules go out the window for some people when they drink? How come people don’t adhere MORE TIGHTLY to the rules that they “live by” when they’re sober? How come it’s not the id that ‘goes’, instead of the superego? How come people do more ‘dirt’ when they’re drunk than when they’re sober? How come the people that do ‘dirt’ when they’re sober don’t become pious individuals when they get drunk? πŸ˜€ It’s because the entire thing is a front, and you are who you are, regardless of the rules you’re TRYING to follow.

So the next time somebody gets drunk and does something and replies “that wasn’t me”, ask them who it was. πŸ˜€ Ask them where they got the idea to do what they did. Did they get it from television? Did they get drunk and then see something in a movie and want to see if they could do it in real life? πŸ˜€ Where did this impulse come from for your boyfriend to screw your sister or stay out all night without calling you? How come your girl was spotted at the club getting her freak on with the next man? Please… Feel FREE to ask people that tell you that alcohol was an excuse for what they did to tell you WHERE they got the idea and post it here, or on your own blog or whatever, because either they don’t want to admit or they don’t UNDERSTAND that it was actually THEIR idea from the beginning.

Also… How is it that there’s a common thread to what happens? How come people don’t get drunk and buy your mother flowers? πŸ˜€ Get drunk and paint your car? Get drunk and fund your startup?… ok, bad example. I’m sure that happens all the time, but you see what I’m saying. How come it’s always stuff that people try to excuse away? That’s because they did What. They. Wanted. To. Do, and what they would have done in the first place if they weren’t carrying their brainwashing around with them in their superegos.

You know what else is common amongst humans?

Smiling.

Did you notice that? Regardless of what language people speak, they tend to SMILE when they’re happy and FROWN when they’re upset. Do you know why that is? Did they ALL get the memo? Did people around the world DECIDE that they were going to teach babies to smile and laugh when they’re happy? I know *I* didn’t get that memo. Do you think it’s the superego that’s smiling? Is it morally right in lots of countries with DIFFERING moral codes to smile or laugh when you feel happy? Is it the ego that’s smiling? Do you CHOOSE to smile, because you won’t become a pariah or get attacked by society if you do so? Is it a natural reaction of the id? Is it purely physical?

So, yeah. I say the id is “You”, the superego is the set of rules that keeps you safe in the society you happen to be in and the ego handles the conscious decision-making between what you WANT to do and what you’re actually GOING to do.

Now, in some cases, the choice is the same. Some guys open doors for the ladies whether they’re drunk or sober. Some people are loud and obnoxious drunk or sober. Some people are FREAKS drunk or sober. Some people are piously religious drunk or sober. Also, like I said in the other post, people can definitely incapacitate themselves with alcohol, which is a totally different issue from drinking to the point where your superego takes a vacation. If you can’t drink, DON’T DRINK. Period. If you’re friends with someone that can’t handle their liquor, TELL THEM SO and do what you can to make them see the light. Videotape them if you have to, so you can show these “I’m not that type of person” people the type of people that they really are.

So if you’ve read this far, I’m impressed. πŸ™‚ I’d love to hear/read what you think as far as where “You” reside in your psyche, and whether you think alcohol disables the “You” or enables the “You”. Meanwhile, You can go vote for me on the Silicon Alley 100 or catch up with me at the bar! πŸ˜€

Bill Cammack

DatingGenius

Political Sex Scandals

Add John Edwards to the list of politicians who were discovered to have had sex outside of their marriage, including Eliot Spitzer, Bill Clinton, David Paterson, etc, etc, etc…… *yawn*

I’m going to try to get in and out of this one, haha no pun intended, rather quickly, because I’m actually completely bored of the topic of people “cheating” in relationships. The fact of the matter is that human beings operate off of FREE WILL and do whatever they want WHENever they want, regardless of what they told you last month, last week, last night or the last telephone conversation you had with them.

Politicians, however, are in a “special circumstances” situation… at least, if they’re aiming for the top…. which… of course… is to become the President of the United States of America.

George Bush is the forty-third and current PotUS. Out of those 43 men, only ONE wasn’t married. That was James Buchanan.

James “Jimbo” Buchanan, Jr. was the fifteenth President of the United States, between the years of 1857 and 1861…. That’s EIGHTEEN HUNDRED AND FIFTY-SEVEN! πŸ˜€ hahahaha That’s the middle of the NINETEENTH CENTURY! There was not ONE unmarried PotUS in the entire Twentieth Century. The first and last one was approximately ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY YEARS AGO! πŸ˜€ There is absolutely no end to this trend in sight…. I mean, it’s not even a “trend”. James Buchanan was an anomaly. Getting married is virtually a prerequisite for being elected President.

I’m sure you can imagine that this puts an incredible amount of stress on young male politicians to get married whether they want to or not. On top of that, they need to do it early, so that they can be seen as upstanding members of society and receive the endorsements that are going to eventually carry them to the big show.

Meanwhile, in every other profession on the planet, you can be single and prosper. You can have as many chicks as you want and all people are going to say is “Go, Man, Go!” or hate on you because you have stuff that they wish they had and are never going to get.

The reason why being a politician creates “special circumstances” is that you’re being groomed to take charge and control of really important things….. like… the Armed Forces?… And at the same time, you’re NOT supposed to do what YOU feel like doing. I mean… It would be one thing if you had NO money, NO prestige, NO power, NO fame and NO opportunity, then, yeah, sure… be happy you got one girl ever in life and leave it at that. Being a politician, though, requires shouldering ‘heavy’ responsibilities and making hard decisions that affect many, many people. Politicians are GROOMED to impose their will on others. That’s the only way to properly represent the people that elected you to office. What are you there for, if not to effect change and advocate for what you believe in and what YOU want for your constituents?

So, politicians are between a rock and a hard place. They can either get married and have career potential or NOT get married and have women that they’re physically attracted to and enjoy having sex with as a trade-off for their highest professional aspirations in life. It’s actually worse than that, because some politicians probably only became popular with the ladies AFTER they had positions of power, which means AFTER they were already married with children. How wack is THAT? πŸ˜€ When it’s FINALLY time for you to get on, you’re not supposed to do it. When chicks are FINALLY throwing panties at you, like they never did when you were an A+ student GEEK in high school & college, NOW, you’re not supposed to hook up with them. NOW that you can afford to spend $4,000 a pop on imported hookers, people literally want to make a Federal Case out of it.

I have to pause for the cause, here hahaha. I was in DC one time for my sister’s friend’s birthday party in some kind of pie-in-the-sky hotel where the center of the bar/club in the penthouse stays in one place and the outside slowly rotates, so you can sit at your table and get a 360 degree view of the surrounding area… beautiful! πŸ˜€ So anyway… I had to go downstairs and come back up to the party, and I was waiting to transfer to the elevator that went to the PH. This middle-aged dude comes out of a room and sits down in a chair to wait for the same elevator. Nothing unusual. Next thing I know, this ONE other middle-aged dude ushers no fewer than SIX much-younger Asian chicks (yet obviously legal) out into the hallway, dressed to the NINES, and they flock around this dude in the chair like he was like… I dunno… Brad Pitt? Richard Gere? hahaha So I’m thinking WTF is going on here? πŸ˜€ So we go to the party, and I’m hanging out with my sister and her friends at the bar, and I spot that same one dude on the dance floor with ALL SIX CHICKS AROUND HIM! πŸ˜€ That’s when I got hip to the fact that “Money Talks and Bullshit Walks” and he had obviously “ordered out”.

Now, I don’t know a thing about that dude as far as whether he was a politician or business man or whatever, but that’s how some dudes are living. Doing what they want to do, when they want to do it and spending their money on what they enjoy… in that particular case, women. That’s GOT to be hard for poliicians to listen to on the back 9 of the golf course… especially when THEY probably have more money and prestige than the guys livin’ it up!

Does this EXCUSE them? Nope. They still made the agreement. They accepted the commitment that comes along with marriage. If they get caught out there doing their thing, their character takes a hit and that might very well signal the end of their political careers anyway. Politicians should be as accountable as anyone else for not being people of their word. It just seems like people are MORE shocked when its a politician involved in these monthly scandals, when basically, it’s like Chris Rock said, “Ò€œA man is basically as faithful as his optionsÒ€.

Speaking of “Special Circumstances”… What’s the deal with making the wives do the perp-walk with them to the podium? Hand-in-hand, merrily they walk to center-stage while he camera flashes go off, and the wife stands there for however long she has to, looking like “Picture of Rejection”, while her husband “admits” what has already been in the tabloids for days, weeks, months or years. I mean, seriously. Someone needs to revamp the speeches they write for these guys and put a couple of lines in for the wife, too.

I know what the point is. It’s showing the world that a) you didn’t get dumped when your wife found out what you did, and b) that the most slighted person in this situation has apparently forgiven you, so everyone else should just ease back and fuhgeddabouddit. Unfortunately, that only works when your wife is SMILING and appears to be HAPPY to be standing next to you. When they look shellshocked, because you dragged them on stage one day after they found out what you did on the television news or your daughter came home from junior high school with the story, it really doesn’t help your campaign for sympathy.

Anyway… As tough as it is to run successful companies, it’s got to be tougher to run cities, states and countries. We’re bred as Americans to take what we want and strive to be the best at whatever we do. It’s just not natural to expect the leaders of leaders of leaders to not indulge in the finer things in life. Having said that, we would like to imagine that our leaders are beyond reproach. I think this is the key to why people are so amazed every time this happens. We’d like to believe that our politicians believe what we believe, which is why we elect them to advocate for us. We’d like to believe that no matter how much power, money or fame our leaders accumulate, they’ll still carry themselves with the humility of a West Virginian lumberjack who goes to church with his wife, plays XBOX with his son and participates in the annual log-rolling competition. But if you think about it….

log rolling

What’s the point of being the President if you can’t get blown under the table? :/
 
DatingGenius
 
 

Excuses, Excuses

Back in the day, it was a wonderful thing to happen upon an attractive female pushing a baby in a stroller.

Now, hahaha it wouldn’t seem like it, but the point was that there were two standard excuses girls would have for not kicking it with you. The first one was that they didn’t have a phone. There was no way for you to contact them.

This was in direct defense to “let me get your number”, which was (and remains) a typical tactic guys use when they meet girls. It’s easier for girls to LIE and say there’s no way to get in contact with them than for them to tell you straight to your face “No. I’m not interested in you. I’m not giving you my number.” So that was a major obstacle back in the day… “I don’t have a phone”.

This has been replaced now, because phones come FREE with service contracts, or you can get a pre-paid phone. For a chick to say NOW that she doesn’t have a phone, she’ll look like the broke-ass pauper that she is.

The new technique is to have MORE THAN ONE PHONE NUMBER!!! πŸ˜€ There’s a number for the people she actually wants to talk to, and then there’s her “Grand Central” number that she gives out to whomever and never answers anyway. Now, she gets to play you off even easier because she’s actually GIVING you her number, except you don’t know that you’ll never speak to her ever again. πŸ˜€

So, there was only one excuse that trumped “I don’t have a phone” back in the day. Any guesses what that was?

……

That’s right! πŸ˜€

The number one favorite excuse of a chick not to kick it with you was “I’m a virgin”! :O

Now… We all knew damned well that this wasn’t true, or at least we could find out soon enough. Somebody knew somebody who knew somebody who tapped that at one point or another. Assuming the sources were reliable, we already knew who was “giving it up” and who wasn’t. At some point, some chick walked into McDonalds, never saw us sitting there, and one of us pointed her out to the rest of the crew and said “XYZ was kicking it to her at this party in the projects last weekend and ___ed her in the staircase”. Now, everybody sitting there knows and points it out to the rest of their boys whenever they see her. So now, chicks are walking around thinking their business is private when it’s all out in the street. πŸ˜€

Sooner or later, these chicks slip up, and out comes the kid. If she’s lucky, her body gets back into a sexy shape with some mass added to her curves. Otherwise, she becomes a has-been and drops off the radar entirely.

Anyway… Here she comes down the street with her stroller, and now, instead of needing the “homeboys’ network” to announce that she’s “giving it up”, she’s announcing it on her own. It’s kind of like an IPO for the fellaz that aren’t “in the know”. πŸ˜€

“OH SNAP!!! I just saw ZYX on the ave pushing a stroller! :O”
“*yawn* That’s old news… XYZ tapped that in the staircase last year”

DatingGenius