Let’s say I tell you the grass is green, and you don’t like the fact that the grass is green… Your NOT LIKING the fact that the grass is green doesn’t change the color of the grass.
Here’s the deal. There are two things going on right now.. There’s:
a) What’s happening, and
b) How you feel about what’s happening.
If you’re not able to separate the two, you’re screwed, because your perception doesn’t necessarily match up with anyone else’s reality. Continue reading “How You Feel Doesn’t Matter”
Purplecar called my attention last night to a post on CNN.com by Wendy Atterberry called “Why women shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ first”. There were some decent points in the post, in the typical advice column fashion:
Wendy: “But an ‘I love you’ uttered too soon, before the man has processed his feelings and reached the same level of adoration could end a relationship that just as easily could have had an eternal shelf life. As soon as those words are said, they change the dynamic. If a man isn’t feeling the love quite yet, he may suddenly feel pressure to manifest that emotion. And if the woman doesn’t get the response she expected, it could damage her confidence enough to derail the whole relationship entirely.”
I’m sure that this scenario plays itself out every single day, all around the world. I think the advice is valid for the way people approach “Love”. The problem is that lots of people have a retarded idea of what “Love” actually is.
I know this is going to be hard for you to process, because it so complex, but bear with me for a minute… you ready?… The reality of the situation is:
You Love Who You Love
That’s it. There’s nothing more that matters in that sentence. Everything else is on the fringe… window dressing. There are only two states. You love someone or you don’t. Period. There may be REASONS why you love this person, but that has nothing to do with the STATE of feeling love or being in love. Continue reading “Sorry… That’s Not Love”