Bill Cammack » five http://billcammack.com Mon, 30 Jan 2012 22:01:23 +0000 en-us hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Morning-After Conduct http://billcammack.com/2009/03/15/morning-after-conduct/ http://billcammack.com/2009/03/15/morning-after-conduct/#comments Sun, 15 Mar 2009 16:34:12 +0000 Bill Cammack care blah blah blah heyyyyy and smile extend the least utilized morning after option emergency contraceptive pills heard kegel exercises the utilized option good smile and wave dont smile care blah blah blah heyyyyy and smile extend the least utilized morning after option emergency contraceptive pills heard kegel exercises the utilized option good smile and wave dont smile http://billcammack.com/?p=4247

ok. So you went to the tech conference COUGHsxswCOUGH and you got your drink on and hooked up with that chick, right ;) …

Except the conference isn’t OVER YET, so you actually have to see her the next day ( hate it when THAT happens! :D ).

Here are your top 5 options on how to deal when you run into her today:

Act like you liked it when you didn’t

When your eyes meet, look at her like ” HEYYYYY! :D ” and smile. Extend your right hand so she extends hers, clasp it and use your left hand to pat her on the back. Pull her in close to you for a hug and whisper in her ear “That ish was the bomb last night, yo. Good Lookin’ Out.”

She will feel accomplished and your job is done. You’re now only responsible for winking at her a couple of times and some minor waves from across the room.

Act like you didn’t like it when you did

Calm down. Stop thinking about it. Hold your breath if you need to… Helps you focus on reality, right-now. Give her a nice hug. Remember to let her go. Small-talk with her, then say something like “You know… We got really DRUNK together last night…” or “I really don’t want last night to come between us and our friendship” or “I care about you too much blah blah blah we shouldn’t do that ever again”.

Try to sound sincere when you’re saying this. If you hear your voice trembling because you’re lying, drink some water. Also, if you feel like you’re starting to get aroused again as soon as you see her, skip the “hug” part.

Act like it didn’t happen

Bill Cammack - Didn't HappenSome people have the ability to drink alcohol until their long-term memory gets erased. I mean… That’s what I heard.

Use this to your advantage. Make sure that you have a drink in your hand BEFORE you kick it to her. That way, she can’t tell how blitzed you were before the fact. Also, remember what you talked about with her and how you felt BEFORE you told her to meet you in the ladies’ room.

Now… When you see her coming, access that memory from before you hooked up with her and act like that was the last time you ever saw her. Got that? ok, Good. Look at her, smile and wave at her like a platonic friend. Give her a basic two-arm hug with no kiss on the cheek. Squeeze her tight. Let her go. Look her in the eye and go:

” So… What’d YOU do last night? :D ”

Act like you don’t remember her

Just in case you don’t think you can pull off “Act like it didn’t happen”, roll your relationship all the way back to never having met her IRL at all.

When you see her, dont’ smile. Get this ??? look, like “Is that my Facebook friend, whomever?”, but you’re not really sure if it’s her or not. Prepare a derivative of her name. Like, if her name’s “Annie”, when you get within earshot (nowhere near her), yell out “Annette?”

When her face twists up, like “What’s this idiot talking about?”, go ” It’s ME, [name]… We’re Facebook friends! Nice to meet you, finally, in person! :D ”

This is why you want to start this technique far away. If she believes you forgot her, she’s going to be disappointed. If she thinks you’re trying to get over, she’s going to be MAD! :D Figure this out before you get within arm’s reach so you can decide whether to continue walking towards her or break hard right and call Maverick for backup.

Tell the truth

Bill Cammack - UnforgivableThis is the least-utilized Morning-After option. I mean, actually, the most utilized option is Emergency Contraceptive Pills but that’s a different topic.

If it was good, and you don’t mind her knowing that you’re SPRUNG and riding her bra-strap now, fess up and let her know how good a time you had and how you haven’t stopped thinking about it this whole time. Hopefully, she’ll be honest with you too and it goes where it goes….

If it wasn’t good, I guess you could still use “Act like you didn’t like it”, except you wouldn’t be acting. There are basically two ways you can carry this. You can go the “let her down easy” route, with some kind of “It’s not you, it’s me” statement. This is basically a copout, unless it really WAS you and you didn’t REP-RE-SENT last night! hahaha :D

The other option is to look out for her as your Homie… you know? As a true friend… And go the “Tough Love” route with something like:

“Yo… Have you ever heard of Kegel Exercises?”

~Bill

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]]> http://billcammack.com/2009/03/15/morning-after-conduct/feed/ 13 How To Get Over Your Ex-Girlfriend http://billcammack.com/2008/11/02/how-to-get-over-your-ex-girlfriend/ http://billcammack.com/2008/11/02/how-to-get-over-your-ex-girlfriend/#comments Sun, 02 Nov 2008 13:24:53 +0000 Bill Cammack muffin tops pee wee herman maternity dresses besides women extremely emotionally volatile catty mediocre feeling exponentially worse eeeh an upgrade depending figure buying boats and cars working the overnight shift the alimony and child support non americans banging muffin tops pee wee herman maternity dresses besides women extremely emotionally volatile catty mediocre feeling exponentially worse eeeh an upgrade depending figure buying boats and cars working the overnight shift the alimony and child support non americans banging muffin tops pee wee herman maternity dresses besides women extremely emotionally volatile catty mediocre feeling exponentially worse eeeh an upgrade depending figure 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When a woman leaves you, you may feel heartbroken, depressed, wistful, horny, betrayed, disappointed… :( any number of feelings, consecutively or simultaneously. Here are five tips on how to move on with your life, and learn to love again………

1) Have sex with her sister

hahahahaha Just Kidding! :D

… unless her sister’s HAWT!

This won’t help you feel better about yourself if her sister’s like “eeeh, ok”, because she’s not an upgrade. Depending on how mediocre she is, you may end up feeling EXPONENTIALLY WORSE! :(

Also, this does NOT… repeat… DOES *NOT* work with her best-girlfriend! Do Not Make This Mistake. A lot of women are extremely emotionally volatile & catty. Their friendships with other women turn on a dime… like happened in her relationship to YOU! :D This means that there’s the potential that in the very near future, your ex-girlfriend won’t care AT ALL about you banging her friend, so you basically wasted your time. (Note for non-Americans… “Banging” is a slang term for “having sex”, most likely derived from the sound the woman’s head makes against the headboard)

2) Have sex with her mother

ok, *NOW* I’m kidding! :D

… unless her mother’s RICH!…….. and HAWT!

3) Get a hobby

Take that extra energy that you have, now that you’re not tappin’ that three times a day, and start working out. You want to meet women in the gym anyway, because they’re WYSIWYG. They don’t get to hide their muffin-tops under those Pee-wee Herman maternity dresses.

Besides… You were probably getting flabby anyway, since you knew you were going to get laid, regardless, so working out is a double-win for you.

4) Make tons of money

The best revenge is living well. Now that she’s not with you, buy that yacht and sail past her house every Saturday with your new girlfriends that you picked up at the gym! :D Rev your new Ferrari’s engine outside that diner where she’s working the overnight shift to make ends meet after her regular job on the assembly line at the sock factory.

oh… wait….. Make sure you didn’t have any kids with her before y’all broke up! If you did, skip this tip, because the more money you make, the more you have to give her in alimony and child support, so you’d actually be better off trying to figure out how to get her back instead of buying boats and cars. :D

5) Drink alcohol

Helps you forget your ex ever existed and makes her sister look better, in case you decide to try #1. :D

~Bill

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]]> http://billcammack.com/2008/11/02/how-to-get-over-your-ex-girlfriend/feed/ 5 Iraqi Refugee Documentary: Five Year Anniversary of the Iraq War http://billcammack.com/2008/03/20/iraqi-refugee-documentary-five-year-anniversary-of-the-iraq-war/ http://billcammack.com/2008/03/20/iraqi-refugee-documentary-five-year-anniversary-of-the-iraq-war/#comments Thu, 20 Mar 2008 10:29:04 +0000 Bill Cammack year anniversary today march 20th 2008 marks the the start http://billcammack.com/2008/03/20/iraqi-refugee-documentary-five-year-anniversary-of-the-iraq-war/

Today, March 20th, 2008 marks the five year anniversary of the start of the Iraq war. We’ve been told what’s going on IN Iraq, but what about the people who fled to other countries for asylum and have now become refugees? What about their familes? Their careers?

Christian Payne traveled to Jordan to photograph and interview Iraqi refugees. Bill Cammack edited his photos and narration into this video, “Iraqi Refugees: Life in the Shadows”.



For more information, visit Christian’s site, “OurManInside.com” via this link => [Iraqi Refugees: Life in the Shadows].

To watch the film in Windows Media or Real Media, visit The UN Refugee Agency’s ‘web videos’ page on UNHCR.org.

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