Bill Cammack

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“Bros Before Hoes” essentially means that when a guy has to make a decision between a guy he knows and a girl he knows, he should side with the guy by default or general principle.

This is based on the often-accurate assumption that the guy is actually your friend, while the girl ISN’T your friend, but instead someone you’re currently hooking up with or trying to hook up with.

A lot of women mistake the fact that a guy kicks it to them or asks them out or even dates them for a long time to mean that they’re automatically friends with a guy as well. It doesn’t work like that. Read the rest of this entry »

As we move forward into 2010, Guilt By Association is going to become a major issue. This year, the civilians found out about Twitter and flooded it with new connections. Sites like Facebook have seen dramatic increases in membership, bringing increases in connections and shared media. If you’re involved in “the game”, sooner or later, you’re going to be associated with someone controversial either on a local scale or an international scale. When/if that time comes, you’re going to have to decide how you’re going to deal with people’s new perception of you based on something you had nothing to do with, whatsoever. Read the rest of this entry »

Lindsey Chen (@LindseyChen) & Bill Cammack (@BillCammack)

Lindz & Bill present 10 Reasons He Wants To Be “Just Friends”

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Every once in a while, a gal will meet a guy that she knows likes her as a person as well as romantically, however, he refuses to make it happen… He refuses to take that extra step to start something up between them and see how it goes. This is when a gal finds herself trapped in the dreaded Friends Zone!!! :O

As usual, it’s Lindz & Bill to the rescue, with ten reasons why you might be receiving this kind of treatment. Let us know what you think in the comments section, below…

Lindz

1. He Wants to Keep His Options Open

Ladies, he would never put himself on a diet just in case he got hungry and wanted a cheeseburger and fries. The same with this situation. Tying himself down to you or any one person at all completely eliminates all the rest of the girls out there and to be honest, there are many fish in the sea. Many FINE fish in the sea that are looking for the perfect King Salmon or King Crab to go home with.

2. He’d Rather Hang Out With His Guy Friends Than Be Obligated To You

By not dating you or any other woman, he has the right to say, “No I don’t want to go to your sister’s Bat Mitzvah with you. I’d rather stay home and play Fantasy Football. Really it doesn’t matter what he is doing because if he’s not tied down to you, he has no obligation. Guys are lazy and they don’t like to commit. Maybe one night he would rather sit at home and watch porn than go to your Mom’s 60th birthday with you. Can you blame him?

3. The Holidays Are Coming Up And He’s Broke.

Read the rest of this entry »

Bill & Flo

A while back, my friend Flo typed either “Frenemies” or “Frienemies” to me in a conversation and I was like “um.. What’s that?”. Once she explained it to me, as a combination of the words Friend and Enemy, I was like :/

As corny as the term is, it really DOES accurately describe the relationship that many people have with other people. According to Wikipedia:

“Frenemy” (sometimes spelled “frienemy”) is a portmanteau of “friend” and “enemy” which can refer to either an enemy disguised as a friend or to a partner who is simultaneously a competitor.[1] The latter can describe personal, geopolitical, and commercial relationships both among individuals and groups or institutions. The word may have appeared in print as early as 1953.[2]

Before I got involved with Social Media, most people that I knew don’t have time or energy for this type of relationship. They also weren’t interested in it. We were on the same team or we weren’t. We felt positively, neutrally or negatively about each other or we don’t know or care that each other exists.

There are, apparently, some people that either enjoy living this kind of life or find it to be necessary because of what they do to get money. Read the rest of this entry »

Back in September 2007, I wrote “Friends, Acquaintances & Contacts” about the lack of the ability to differentiate between levels of acquaintance we have with people we connect to via Social Media.

It’s been rumored that Facebook is going to add a “Fan” distinction to regular pages. Currently, you’re a “Friend” of someone or you’re not. If they add Fans, that’ll make “Facebook Fan Pages” obsolete, IMO. It will also make people more likely to add other people to their regular page that they don’t consider to be Friends to the degree that they would add them at all.

I think this is a good idea, as it would centralize the database of people that are connected to one person instead of having at least two databases for at least two pages and most of the people being redundant anyway. I have 1492 Friends on my regular page and 109 Fans on my fan page, which are, AFAIK, *ALL* Friends of mine on my regular page. There’s no need for this redundancy, whatsoever.

Also, I would feel more comfortable, personally, adding myself as a Fan to someone’s regular page than as a Fan on their fan page. For some reason, that feels more representative of the facts to me, as it pertains to Social Media. For instance, I’ve Omar Epps & Michael Beach, but I *certainly* don’t qualify as a “Friend” of theirs. OTOH, I would appreciate a distinction that’s ‘more’ than “That’s someone I’ve seen on television and I respect their work”. Similarly, there’s a band that I’m a fan of, and I’ve actually hung out with them several times.. however we don’t have ANYTHING in common, and I’d feel more authentic demoting myself to being a Fan of theirs, assuming Facebook offers you the opportunity to change your relationship to someone when/if they add this Fan status option to their regular pages. Read the rest of this entry »

Rox, Grace, Bill & Laura – April, 2008

I had an interesting experience happen two months ago back in May, which I talked about in “Who Are You?”. Basically, I sent a friends request on Facebook to someone I was friends with in Elementary School and she had ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA who I was! :D

Now, of course, there are like a million people I’ve forgotten since Elementary, so her perception of me (or lack thereof, haha) isn’t a big deal. My perception of her happened to remain fresh because she’s an actress and shows up in films or on television every couple of years, so I pretty much couldn’t forget her if I tried! :D

However.. The situation made me consider what I’ve done… or perhaps how my mind works when it comes to my friends. My system retains what I’ll call positive, negative or neutral remembrances of people or they exit my mind entirely. All the time, I’ve run into friends that I haven’t seen for years, and we picked up our conversations and hangouts as if we had just seen each other yesterday. That’s because my system operates on a kind of suspended-animation basis.

In my mind, I don’t stop being friends with someone because we’re out of contact. I either have a generally good, bad, neutral or “zero” (forgotten) feeling about them when I run into them the next time, and then we take it from there. That’s partially what makes me who I am as a video editor. I can see footage and retain it in my mind and then make the video from memory instead of having to see it physically on the screen. I never “rough cut”. I’m always laying video and audio down exactly as I wanted it in my mind, checking it and then adjusting it. Read the rest of this entry »

May 02, 2009.. Ashley Fowler + Nigel Cammack Wedding.

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The other day, reader “Fishingrod” made a post suggestion:

“… In exchange for the new things to consider, maybe you could do me a favour some day and explain in one of your articles the benefit of having sex with almost complete strangers.”

I’m going to get around to that, and I’ve been thinking about that post ever since I read that request. In the meantime, I went out last night, and upon reflection, I think the situation’s actually worse than “just” wanting to have sex with almost complete strangers.

Tactical Observations

As we’ve discussed before, there are literally hundreds of thousands of women on the NYC dating scene. You can’t “throw a rock” without hitting a chick you might like to hook up with or that you might be ABLE to hook up with. Optimally, you’ll end up in a location where you like some chick and she likes you and y’all can mutually agree to have a good time together. If that’s not the case, then the likely scenario is that you see chicks that you’re physically attracted to that either aren’t interested in you or may actually actively dislike you as a person or at least dislike your presentation or what you’re bringing to the table. This is where “worse” comes in. :)

Lots of people would think that “She doesn’t like me as a person” or “She’s not physically attracted to me” would be a deterrent to guys. It’s actually merely a tactical observation. The goal remains the same… to “get on”. You’re not trying to make friends… You’re trying to get laid.

The reason I’m calling this “worse” than what Fishingrod was asking about is that in the scenario of meeting someone and messing with them within hours of ever seeing them in life, at least you can say that there was some kind of lust or mutual attraction that fueled the situation. If the chick’s not into you and you’re still interested in having sex with her, the motivation’s clearly one-sided desire-fulfillment.

Who Cares?

There’s nothing wrong with that in and of itself, however, as I think about it right now… I’m SURE that there are lasting psychological effects to consistently interacting with women that don’t like you. There’s a “So what?” mentality that one develops, in regards to what women think. She doesn’t like you? “So what?”. She doesn’t want to have sex with you? “So what?”. She likes somebody else? “So what?”. She says she’s a lesbian? “So what?”. The only thing that matters is whether she’s gonna give you some or she isn’t. Read the rest of this entry »

Lindz from NNN / Tumblr joins me for a conversation about the ifs and whens of guys being friends with girls…..

B: So… Every Day, there’s some chick that’s completely confused as to whether some guy that she knows wants to be “friends” with her.

This happens in both directions… There are chicks that WANT to date guys, but they can’t tell if that guy’s physically attracted to them… And there are chicks that DON’T want to date guys, but they can’t tell whether those guys are NOT just tryinna get in their pants.

I’ll start off with the high percentage answer to whether a guy wants to be friends with a chick……

This means that if a chick wants to give him some, he’ll most likely take it, regardless of what he told you when you asked him directly. Does that mean you’re in a “relationship” with him? No. Does that mean he’s going to iChat you tomorrow? No. All it means is that he finds you physically attractive, and under the correct circumstances, he’d be very glad to “tap that, sunnnnnn”.

L: You see, though, if she’s hot and you know that she’s outta your league, or maybe she’s the plain Jane next door that still won’t get with you, even though you’re the hottest guy to ever talk to her, don’t get discouraged. You can totally use this in your favor. One word: Wingwoman.

B: As with every rule, there are exceptions. Here they are:

1) He’s not physically attracted to you.

B: If he’s not tryinna hit that, it’s easy to be friends with you, because there’s no pressure. No sexual tension. There’s nothing for him to gain or lose by not pressing up on you. Hanging out with you is the exact same thing as hanging out with any other chick, or a guy.  *yawn*

L: True. Very true. However, a girls attractability (is this a word? I think so) can grow depending on her personality. She can be a total goon and then you get to know her and all of a sudden she’s a supermodel knockout. Ok maybe I went too far, but you get the point.

B: Excellent point, Lindz… This is actually something chicks have to look out for that I wasn’t thinking about. That’s when there’s a changeover from not-hittable to hittable and what gets really confusing to chicks, when a guy that never paid them any physical attention’s suddenly talkin’ ’bout “Say… I lost the directions to my house… Can I borrow yours? :D “.

2) He’s not physically attracted to you. Read the rest of this entry »

If you have a boring personality, you can go out with any chick, and it’s cool. It’s not so easy for edgy guys that like to do fun & interesting stuff on the spur of the moment. It’s easy for your natural persona to clash with hers instead of combining with hers in a way that both of you have a fantastic time. There are obvious limitations to some chicks’ abilities to go with the flow. She might not be into taking pictures, for instance. If that’s a way that you express yourself and inform your friends and family of what you’re doing with your one life that we’re going to get, then that’s a clash. In order for that to be a win-win, you have to either NOT hang out with her or NOT take pictures of her when you’re hanging out.

Another example is PDA (Public Displays of Affection). You might be into it, and she isn’t. The only win-win is a compromise between each of your comfort levels, which normally means NO PDA whatsoever. Then again, if your point in spending time with her is to “Display Affection” ;), you just don’t take her out in public from the giddyap.

PDA… Personal Digital Assistant? :D

Anyway… Chicks tend to go out with boring guys. This is because boring guys are stable… Easily controlled… Less likely to cheat, either because they’re “not that type” or they’re too busted or weird to get another girl anyway. Chicks like stuff like that for some reason. They’d rather mess with a guy they know they’re not going to lose anytime soon than a guy they know they’re really physically attracted to but don’t have a snowball’s chance in Hell of controlling >:D

So they THINK their guys are edgy, but they’re really not… Not by a longshot. Unfortunately, they expect YOU to be just like the boring dudes. “Guilt by Association” rears its ugly head! :D You have to make sure you distinguish yourself as separate from that pack. Otherwise, when you’re chilling at a birthday party, drinking and flirting with her @ the karaoke bar and eventually, you pull up to her bumper, she’s like “WHAT THE #&*$ WAS THAT??? :O” as if something strange is happening.

A ‘quick and dirty’ way to distinguish yourself to chicks is to apply a form of shock therapy. Scare the living daylights out of them, as far as relationships go. Make sure they’re aware that you’re capable of ANY-THING at ANY-TIME. :D Make them wary of leaving their little sisters OR their mothers around you. This does THEM the favor of opening their minds to the potentials of life, interaction and fun, while doing YOU the favor of clearing the path so that when you DO do something edgy with her, she’s just relieved that it’s not any of the WORSE things that she already imagined you doing to her. :)

Strangely enough, I started thinking about this because of this tech video. Watch the first 1:30:

So I’m watching this, and I realized that the same thing he does to potential employees… I do that to chicks. :) Sure, you want to be friendly with them and all that… However, if they’re looking to get past friendship, you really want to scare the BEJESUS out of them, or else, similar to janky website design, your relationship’s going to be *BROKEN* practically immediately.

I had to watch it again. I use *EXACTLY* the same style. First of all, don’t try to hook me up unless you KNOW me. This is similar to the part where he says “I interview every single person that comes to work for me” and “It really leads to some problems in the company, like if I’m on a trip for 5 days and we need to bring somebody in and say, you know what? If they sit with me, and I can look them in the eye…” That’s the whole thing. You can tell when you look her in the eye whether she understands who she’s looking at or not. It’s a form of concentrated attention, the way she focuses on you and pays attention to what you’re saying… It’s like she’s fascinated by you, yet afraid to turn her back on you at the same time.

This is another reason you need to use shock therapy on chicks. When they’re talking about you to their girlfriends (and they ALWAYS talk about you to their girlfriends), you want them saying THE RIGHT THINGS that bring their girls to the table ready for battle. You don’t want all this “oh, he’s a nice guy” and “oh, he’s so educated and cute and smart” because then, their girls meet you with visions of kids, dogs and Volvos in their heads, so now you have to do DOUBLE the work, to deconstruct them mentally and then REconstruct them and THEN see if they’re compatible with you now that they know what the real deal is.

So in the case of hiring someone, you want your employees to know the drill when it comes to working for your company. In the case of hookups, you want your ground troops traveling with the right information so the chicks they bring back either love you or hate you. Still, hookups suck unless the chick involved really understands what you’re about, so it’s best to “interview every single person that comes to work for you” and “look them in the eye” and hit ‘em with the worst-case scenario. You can see her demeanor change, right on the spot. She’ll either think “I’d never go out with him” or “Oh, he thinks he’s a bad-ass… He doesn’t know who *I* AM!”, which will help you to decide to move forward with the interview or change the subject / bail out entirely.

Actually, there’s a third potential reaction, this kind of simpleton stare like she doesn’t understand what you just said. Depending on what you like in chicks you mess with, that’s either FANTASTIC or horrible. :D

So when you’re hitting her with the worst-case scenarios, it’s not actually important what she says. What’s important is HOW SHE LOOKS as soon as her brain comprehends what you just told her hahahaha :D The stages go like this after you finish speaking:

1) She hasn’t received all of the data yet
2) She has all the words, but she’s composing it into what it actually means
3) She realizes what you said and subconsciously reacts to it
4) She starts thinking about how she feels about what you said
5) She formulates her response
6) She delivers her response

The main thing you’re looking for is her subconscious reaction. IME, it’s usually “He’s kidding”, “Maybe I didn’t hear him correctly”, “That’s crazy”, “Life doesn’t work like that”, “There’s no way that works”, “Who’d fall for THAT?”, “Do guys really think that way?”, “That’s funny”, “I’d love to see him do that in real life”, etc etc etc. This is way more important than her eventual statement. She can say all she wants that what you said was messed up, but you already saw that gleam in her eye that she thought it was funny when she initially GOT what you were saying. She can say all she wants that she doesn’t care or what you said didn’t affect her, but you saw her get that “oh my God!” realization in her eyes of who she’s looking at. It’s like you mentally see her get up and walk away, but she physically sits there anyway to keep up appearances. But you can clearly feel her “leave you”.

So, yeah… If you’re an edgy guy, make sure you interview chicks like a business. Gauge their ability to hang with you by their reactions to your throwing the kitchen sink at them. If they pass, you know you can fight with them and still love them and vice versa. If they FAIL![EPIC], they might still be useful as friends, except *only* when you’re layin’ back in the cut NOT “doin’ you”. Same rules apply. Some people, you do business with. Some people, you have drinks with. Some people, you can do both with. Put her through the shock and watch her eyes, body language and breathing patterns. Turn up the heat level after level and when you’re convinced of her character and fortitude, turn it off. Let her be. She’s earned your respect and progressed to the next level.

Props are awarded. It’s “Miller Time”… Cheers! :D

When she’s ready… She’ll look like this:

Mentally Tested, Battle-Ready Female: 2008 Edition