Bill Cammack » funny

Keep. Your. Legs. Closed.

Bill Cammack — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 21:35:42 +0000

You have *GOT* to see this video, JUST so you can listen to and watch Andrea Mitchell after this dude tells her this joke! :D

YouTube Link => youtu.be/ZM6ifRq_SNg

In case you don’t want to watch it yourself, this is what he said! :D

“And this contraceptive thing, my gosh, it’s such inexpensive.. You know, back in my days, they used Bayer aspirin for contraception.. The gals put it between their knees, and it wasn’t that costly. :D”

Now.. When I saw this happen, live, I missed what happened, because I didn’t expect dude to be telling a joke. I thought he was trying to tell us something about when he owed Moses a quarter from the olden days, so my mind was racing to figure out what he was saying.

I was thinking too much after he said “They used Bayer aspirin for contraception”, because I was like “HOW IN THE **** DID THEY DO THAT? :D” and I totally missed that he was saying that in order to hold Bayer aspirin between her legs, a woman had to KEEP. HER. LEGS. CLOSED!

I figured it out when Andrea started choking up, and had this “oh no he di’int! :O” look on her face! :D

C’Mon, Sunn! :/

This situation is VERY FUNNY on a lot of levels, but I’m going to focus on the fact that dude either *FORGOT* he was speaking to a female, or he didn’t give a flying **** that he was speaking to a female, and just blurted out something guys usually only say to other guys.

That’s not a joke for “mixed company” (meaning women present), much less something to say on national/international television that’s going to go directly to YouTube and sit there forever.

The reason I wanted to talk about this, and the reason it’s in the Dating category instead of the Politics category is that this is a beautiful example of what I’ve been telling y’all for years already…

Regardless of so-called Political Correctness, the game hasn’t changed one iota.

Not one bit.

Not at all.

This is why some women think my blog is harsh… It’s because I realize that there are two different conversations going on.. The conversations that guys have with guys, and the conversations guys have with gals.

Until women recognize that there *IS* a difference, we can’t have an intelligent conversation about male/female relations and relationships, because you’re not seeing the playing field properly, and my explanations aren’t going to make any sense to you unless you can see things from my side, which is the side THAT COUNTS, because you’re trying to relate to men and failing because you don’t understand that you’re receiving half-truths from us at best.

That dude’s no spring chicken. It isn’t like he thought it was funny on the playground to pull a girl’s pigtail.

He knows that joke goes over *BIG* every time he tells it on the golf course or at the country club, because he’s only talking to guys, and they all agree with him or pretend to agree with him so they don’t look like suckers.

What he did was give away trade secrets about what a lot of guys think about women and their ability/right to decide what goes on with their own bodies, but refuse to say, because they can’t afford to be seen as Not Politically Correct.

He can afford it because he’s rich already and is never going to run out of money, so who gives a **** what YOU think? :D

Most guys that are involved in the dating game don’t have that same leisurely attitude towards offending women, because they’re trying to actually get laid.

This is the ‘problem’ that’s being illustrated here… What dudes think about you and what they tell you to your face are usually two different things.

Instead of just getting mad at dudes for saying stuff like this, I suggest that y’all females absorb this as a “teaching moment”.. Isn’t that what Oprah calls them? :D

Buy A Vowel

What’s great about this video is the same thing that was great about Jersey Shore when it first started. :D

I had been telling women for years about what really happens when guys hit the streets to “get girls”, and y’all didn’t want to believe me! :D

When they finally decided to create and air Jersey Shore, I was able to point out, in videos that all my readers could view with their own eyes, dudes making out with multiple chicks simultaneously, dudes hooking up with chicks at the club and then crawling into bed with their girlfriends after slapping five with their homeboys who are keeping their secrets for them, dudes talking about women like dogs after kicking them out at 6am after sex, guys that aren’t around women AT ALL until it’s time to try to get laid…

A lot of what’s confusing to women about dealing with and especially attempting to date men is that if we really told you what we were really thinking, you’d be like :O and our opportunity to get some would evaporate.

Does this mean that ALL guys do this? Of course not. :) Some do, though, so by excluding this mentality from your set of possibilities, you’re doing yourself a disservice and may never end up on top of the game.

Until you realize that there are guys that believe that women keeping their legs closed is the answer to the need for contraception, you’ll be at a disadvantage.

Until you realize that there are dudes that will tell you all sorts of flowery things and then dump you after sex, you’ll be at a disadvantage.

Until you realize that there are men that think women’s ability/right to decide what happens to their own bodies is a joke, you’ll be at a disadvantage.

So, Wake up. Get a clue. Buy a vowel.

Just because it’s 2012 doesn’t mean people believe the same things.

If you ask your man if you should be in the kitchen making him a sandwich, he’s gonna say “NO, HONEY!!! :D NO WAY!!! :D”, while he may very well be imagining you, only wearing construction boots, making him a turkey & swiss. >:D
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Are Women Funny?

Bill Cammack — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 11:27:41 +0000

Are women funny?

My sister Liz is funny, but that’s because she’s my sister and we share superior genes. Kim will catch you out there with a slew of punchlines if you get on her nerves, FRLZ, and I think Mel’s probably pretty mentally dangerous in a snap-fest, but, overall… are women FUNNY?

I know there are female comedians, and I’ve been laughing incessantly over how I can’t tell Tina Fey apart from Sarah Palin,

but… in general… are women funny? And if so… Is there “Male Humor” and “Female Humor”?

I’m thinking about this because I watched / listened to a panel of bigwigs in the internet comedy space yesterday. After they spoke, they had a Q&A session, and my homegirl Kathryn Jones got her hands on the mic…. RUH ROHHHH!!! :D

Kathryn Jones & Bill Cammack

So, basically, Kathryn asked “Where is the content BY women and the content FOR women?” and the answer was “um, uh, um, uh, um…” hahahahaha :D Kathryn’s been asking this question ever since I met her, so as soon as I saw her get the mic, I was like AWWWWW HERE WE GO!!!!! :D

The answers made sense, business-wise, and the thing to remember is that this internet stuff is business for them, not art or entertainment. If you do “art” and nobody watches it or buys ads on your content, you get fired. If you do business, and it’s the same business over and over, you get advertising dollars and you keep your job.

Basically, they said they have a demographic and they cater to it. Business 101. If the people watching your content is GUYS, then you make more content that GUYS would like so that they tell MORE GUYS to watch your videos and you grow your community and make more money.

Rocketboom had a study done a while back, which IIRC determined that a whopping 8% of their viewership was female. Of course, that has to do with Eye Candy, but that’s a different topic. The point is… well… the point, I guess, is a question… “If 92% of your viewership is male, why cater to females at all?” or, “Why not do things that affect 92% of your viewership instead of 8%?”. That’s how I was feeling during that silent period right after Kathryn asked her question and the panelists were mentally deciding who was going to address it. :)

One panelist even said that if they were going to do female-oriented content, they would have to make a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SITE! :D This and other comments that escape me right now are what got me thinking about this topic. Is there a difference between “female humor” and “male humor”? Do women (in general) get stuff that’s “funny to women” and men get stuff that’s “funny to men”?

Assuming that’s the case… In this era of niche marketing, there’s no “space” for the combination of “male and female humor”. Doing stuff to attract women will “turn off” male viewers, taking away from “the bottom line”. The question becomes whether attempting to increase the low percentage of female viewers will decrease the number of male viewers to the point that it wasn’t worth it in the first place.

The moderator had the solution… technically… which was to bring in female content creators to make videos specifically geared towards a female audience. However, this fit EXACTLY into the other two theories, which were basically “We’re going to cater to what our demographic is” and “If we’re going to ‘add’ females, we need to make a completely different site”.

On a different topic, yet the same, in a way… I ran into the same issue with my DatingGenius blog. Being a guy, I can blog all day and all night about tricks and tips for “getting girls”. It’s easy to create content for males, because all guys want to know is how to get around the artificial obstacles women throw up which prevent / delay guys from getting laid. It’s not so easy for me to create content for women, because I have to reverse-engineer it. I think to myself “What would *I* do to them?” and then figure out their defense against me and write it. The only other way I get female-oriented material is through actual discussions with my myriad homegirls and selecting common issues that they have, like why guys catcall.

Thinking about this question in terms of my own content, it’s clear to me that if I gave a damn about having female-oriented content and I knew damned well that my mind didn’t generate this stuff on its own, I would need to bring in someone who understands “female comedy” to handle that part of my business for me. This is why it was funny to hear “um, uh, um…” when Kathryn brought up the same topic she always brings up :D , because you would think that if I’VE heard the question a million times, THEY would have heard the question a BILLION times and done something about it by now.

However… Being that internet video is about “the bottom line”, viewership, eyeballs, revenue sharing, CPM, CPC etc etc etc, women may just have to wait until they’re seen as a “market” worth throwing funds at…. haha Wait… I forgot something. :D

Assuming that it’s NOT the case that there’s “male humor” and “female humor”, there should be a crossover. You should be able to make comedy shows by females that males flock to (other than because they think she looks good and don’t give a damn what she’s saying anyway) and comedy shows by males that increase the female presence in your demographic surveys.

The whole idea may be self-fulfilling. We can’t get female numbers up higher than blah blah percent, so why bother catering to them? Meanwhile, not catering to them doesn’t increase your female viewership past those traditional percentages.

I have no idea and totally don’t care what my demos are for DatingGenius. I try to mix it up and have something for tha fellaz AND tha ladiez! Then again, DG isn’t a business. It’s something I do for kicks. If I were doing it for money, haha, I might be in the same boat with the panelists, saying essentially “Our statistics haven’t show that the sector you’re asking about is worth us wasting our production money on, due to lack of ROI”.

So maybe it doesn’t matter whether women are funny or not. Even if they WERE, they’re not going to see any light unless businesses can figure out ways to make money off of them. Seems to me like a void waiting to be filled by women that are willing to create their own content, encode, post, distribute and market it THEMSELVES and take advantage while the currently established sites get caught slippin’.

~Bill