Bill Cammack picks up his copy of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 on November 05, 2009 in NYC, 5 days before the official release date of 11.10.09.

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So, I’m talking to this fun and attractive young lady the other day while I’m hanging out with some friends. I’m not going to mention her name (not that I ever do, haha) because she actively hides from Social Media, but let’s say she’s “an accountant”.

So, off the bat, we don’t seem very similar as far as dating goes, but she’s a pleasant person and nice to look at, so I don’t mind chatting her up for a while…

At some point, the party moves to another location, at which point she was heading home and the rest of us were heading out to party some more. I was already WAAAAAAY over my time limit to determine whether I was gonna kick it with her or not, so I had decided that I wasn’t going to request contact information from her and if she wanted to get in touch with me, she knew to Google me or she knew we had mutual acquaintances and could find me through them.

Now that I’m writing this, I realize that this was actually a VERY important component of the bad decision I ended up making. I had gone over this scenario lots of times between when it happened and today and had neglected to rewind far enough back to the point where I had already written her off as far as tonight. That doesn’t mean my decision was any less poor, haha.. Just that I understand now why I went the route I did. :D

So… hmm… ok.. In thinking about the rewind some more, and considering my mindset about her by the time we left that party, I now realize how I got in the situation I got in. Before just now, I had been asking myself “How in the HELL did you end up walking with her AND some other guys instead of just HER?”

So when we were leaving place #1, I was going to be heading to place #2 and she was going to be heading to the subway to go home. This is where I made error #1 and told her I’d be right outside while I went to see if these other chicks wanted to come with.

Technically, that wasn’t an error, because I thought she was going home, which would have meant I would have been showing up at place #2 without entertainment in-hand, which is never a good idea. :D However, in being efficient about keeping my night going as far as entertainment, I wrote her off as past tense even though she was actually physically still right there where I was. I was seeing her as if she had already gotten on the subway, so I started interacting with her as if she were already gone. I was in some kind of “Nice to meet you, see you around the scene” endgame mode, when I should have been in a “This person that you’ve already had fun with is still here with you until she actually leaves” mode.

So the other chicks aren’t ready to leave yet, so I tell them where they’re going and then go upstairs to tell the accountant good-bye. She’s ready to leave on the spot, and if she had, I wouldn’t have thought about ANY of this stuff. :) She decides to walk to a subway station that’s in the same direction I’m heading to the next party, so we’re walking and talking…

However, due to blunder #1, my not leaving the place WITH her, we’ve now achieved two more people that are walking with us. Two guys. This is where oversight/error #2 comes in. Since I had already considered her as having left, it wasn’t a big deal that these guys were walking with us. One of them, I knew already, and the other, I was just meeting for the first time right there. The problem is that when you add other people into the mix, you can’t really talk about what you SHOULD be talking about with a gal. You talk about watered-down stuff or entirely different topics so as not to have your and her business “in the street”. I wasn’t worried about this, though, because she was already gone as far as I was concerned, and I was just escorting her to the subway.

The turning point in the situation was that she decided NOT to go to the subway and disappear from my life forever, but instead to continue on with the three of us to the party that we were going to. I was glad that she was going to keep hanging out with us, but I hadn’t considered what I was thinking of her in order to reverse it. In other words, I was still treating her like she was immediately leaving.

So my lack of paying attention to the present and instead focusing on an envisioned future (without her in it) led to this rolling mistake. I should have left the place with her. I should have walked with her by myself. If Woody had gone straight to the police, this would never have happened…

So error #3 was not recognizing the changeover and not mentally adjusting to the new situation… Error #4 was letting this guy I’ve never seen before control the conversation.

So now, I’m basically an innocent bystander to my own rap. Granted, it wasn’t much of a rap, because I wasn’t rapping TO her and, in fact had already written her off as soon as she had said she was going home. But what happened was that the new guy was talking to her about something, blah blah blah and then, somehow, he started talking about “picking up women”. I don’t know how this happened, because I didn’t care what he was saying, so I wasn’t listening in on his conversation with her. It just so happened to be loud enough for me to hear “picking up” or “picked up” or something like that.

I doubt their conversation had anything to do with me, because when women ask me what I do, I just say “I’m a video editor”. I can’t afford to say “I write a dating blog”, because that immediately puts women on guard for what I’m attempting to do to them. :D So, as far as I know, the accountant didn’t think I knew anything about dating at all.

In general, you don’t want to discuss picking up women….. AROUND WOMEN, unless they’re already in your inner circle. If these are your homegirls, and they know you do what you do… Yeah! Talk about picking up women all day. Also, you don’t want to talk about picking up women in front of women with guys who you don’t know what level they’re on as far as kickin’ it with chicks. This is a MAJOR BLUNDER and counts as #5 in this rolling mistake. If a guy doesn’t know what he’s doing, he’s liable to make some sort of egregious error and subsequently drag YOU down with the sinking ship he just blasted a hole in. Also, if he DOES know what he’s doing, he could decide to intentionally sabotage your rap by saying the wrong thing(s) and jacking up her mood.

So, all of these errors led to the one I actually want to talk about… This guy says “blah blah blah picking up women”, and somehow now has incorporated me into their conversation. I replied something to him, to which he replies something to the effect of:

“That’s How You Picked *HER* Up?”

……………

So now, time slows down as all three people are looking at me. As soon as he said what he said, I had looked at her face, and her mind was suddenly kicking into gear, thinking about things she hadn’t thought of before. She looked like she had seen something shocking, snapped out of it in a few seconds and then looked in my direction, to hear what my response was going to be…

I guess time didn’t really slow down, but I was suddenly thinking at hyper-speed, running permutations and potential outcomes. On the one hand, I wanted to say nothing at all, silently pleading The 5th. The problem with a non-commital response is that it allows her to think anything and everything about the situation. You’re giving up control by not attempting to define the situation through words or actions. On top of that, it looks suspicious that you can’t answer a simple question.

Except.. It’s NOT a simple question, because answering a question about HOW I picked her up stipulates to my picking her up in the first place. I don’t “pick women up”. I hang out with them. If they happen to get lucky, good for them. ;) Therefore, at no point in time had I said anything to the accountant as far as dating her, messing with her or even liking the color or her eyes or how pleasant her personality is. This is why she had this “What’s he talking about, picked her up?” look on her face right after he said it. So, I don’t pick women up in the traditional “You come here often?”, “Did it hurt… When you fell out of Heaven?” sense, but at the same time, the fact that I was hanging out with her WAS the pickup.

So I wasn’t inclined to answer the question about HOW I picked her up, because I would have been admitting to her that I DID pick her up, which defeats the purpose of the style.

OTOH… I didn’t want to flat-out deny picking her up either. That would have given her the impression that I wasn’t interested. It also would have been completely disingenuous, because I had been hanging out with at least six other women at party #1 and I left with *her*. Clearly, by the fact of the circumstances we were currently in at the time of the conversation, I was in the process of some format of a pickup on her.

Tactically, denying the pickup was the way to go.. “Pick-up? I didn’t pick her up! We’re just walking down the street together in the middle of the night, even though we never laid eyes on each other before about an hour ago. A heh.. A heh heh *grin*”. I could have recovered from that easily, and it would have been a good excuse to pull her to the side later and explain how I really DID like her and WANTED to pick her up, except I denied it so as to keep our business ‘out the street’, yadda yadda.

Unfortunately, while I was running scenarios and permutations in the seconds I had between his question and my inevitable answer, I failed to account for my past-tense view of her and decided that I was bored with the situation and was going to try something off the wall. Ladies, let this be a lesson to you hahaha.. If a guy does something completely odd, it might not be that he’s crazy, but that he just doesn’t care about the outcome and he’s experimenting. :)

So, without skipping too many beats, I start some BS explanation of “How I picked her up”. Error #6.. Following someone else’s lead when you’re kickin’ it with a chick. It was a HORRIBLE idea. It was completely ill-advised. I totally had no idea what was going to happen as I was explaining to a guy I had never met before the process that I used to pick up a girl that I had never met before who was standing right next to me and that I had never picked up in the first place (so far as she knew at the time). Fellaz… Do NOT try this at home! :D

Well.. It wasn’t worth it. Not to me. It was worth it as an experiment and to be able to tell y’all about it, but in real-time, I just felt kind of empty after I finished saying whatever I said, and I have no idea what I said, because I was just making it up on the fly and I was more paying attention to her reactions to what I was saying than whatever words I selected. Basically, I had burned whatever rap I had been working on to the ground and was going to have to bail altogether or start something completely new with her after my phony pickup confession.

Really, I felt pretty drained. I immediately started contemplating how this happened to me in the first place. Actually, some of my processing cycles before I spoke up were taken up by thoughts of “um… How the hell did this happen to me?” :D But I had to suppress that to decide what route I was going with the answer. As soon as I finished, I devoted all energies to assessing the situation, because it was a MAJOR blunder on my part. Now, through writing it out, I see how it happened.

And I supposed that concludes this story with Error #7. Instead of getting back in the game, I was just disgusted with myself and preoccupied with taking mental notes about the surrounding circumstances which led to my grand soliloquy about nothing of import. I basically grounded myself, which might have seemed to her that I didn’t want to talk to her anymore. I hope I didn’t come off like that, but I’m pretty sure I did. Actually, I had put myself on punishment and was just disgusted and didn’t feel like working around the issue. I owed her more than that, but didn’t give it to her.

So, gentlemen… The moral of the story is to keep your eyes on the prize, control your situations and environments and make sure you retain the lead role when you’re rapping to a chick. If you’re gonna fumble, make sure you do it on your own terms… Not because you got lazy and let someone else kick the ball out of your hands while you were standing there watching it all go down.

I guess as a bonus, I’ll add in Error #8, which is the fact that since I knew there were plenty of women that I knew at the next party, I was totally unconcerned with fumbling ONE, and that contributed to my experimental nature. So, not only shouldn’t I have considered her past tense until she actually LEFT, but I should have maintained my level of concentration on her and attention to her until the situation played itself all the way out.

I think that’s what disgusted me the most about this situation. I got bored, I got lazy, I started slackin’… and then I GOT CAUGHT SLIPPIN’!!! :D

Ah well. C’est la vie. Easy come, Easy go! :D

~Bill

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The way the dating game works, guys have to be the aggressors and girls choose from the suitors who present themselves. There are several reasons for this, including women attempting to avoid the stigma of being considered hoes for stepping up front and telling a guy what they really want to do with him. Another reason is that gals tend to be more relationship-based, while guys are more get-laid-based.

What this creates is an uneven playing field where guys are always playing offense and girls are always playing defense. I had a rare opportunity, recently, to watch a creep operate… Let me back up a bit…

What/Who is a Creep?

A creep isn’t defined by tactics. A creep is defined by whether a chick wants to kick it to him or not. If a girl likes you, you can say just about anything you want to her, and she’ll go for it. She wants you to want her. She’s excited that she excites you. You can literally walk up to a chick and say “The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain” and she’ll make out with you, because that’s what she’s been daydreaming about this whole time since she first saw you…. kissing you, not you saying some corny, meaningless line.

So, a creep is a guy that a chick DOESN’T want to talk to her, but insists on talking to her anyway. He could be the most polite, well read, gentlemanly blah blah blah but if she’s not interested, he’s a nuisance that she needs to get rid of ASAP. Not only is he annoying, but he’s taking up space where a guy that REALLY wants to kick it to her could be standing and she could be enjoying herself.

So I had been about to say “I recently got to see a creep operate”, but that’s not actually true. I’ve seen creeps operate lots of times, except they’ve been friends of mine, so I’ve been hoping that they get on. Sometimes, the creep was ME! :D What I should have said was that I had the rare opportunity to watch some creep I don’t know operate, and because of that, I can now write up my favorite tips on how to *NOT* be a creep:

Don’t interrupt people’s conversations

If you want to be seen as a creep off the bat, jump into someone’s conversation as if they invited you. I know you have your agenda and you want to kick it ASAP before someone else pulls her, but rolling up uninvited sets off the first alarm that you don’t know how to respect people’s wishes. If nobody was paying attention to you and then you appear like “TA-DAAAA!”, you’re immediately a nuisance and have just dug your rap into a hole that you’re going to have to waste your time digging yourself out of. Instead of starting at ZERO, you start at negative-whatever, because you couldn’t find a decent way to join the group.

If a chick is by herself, that’s a different story. You STILL need to enquire as far as whether she’d like for you to hang out with her or not. Don’t just roll up on a chick that’s standing there with nothing to do and assume that listening to your sap rap is BETTER for her to do than doing nothing at all.

If you ask her and she wants you to leave, sure, keep trying, but if you can’t turn her quickly, break north before she informs the rest of her girlfriends in the area that you’re a creep, jacking up other opportunities you might have had if you had played it cool.

Don’t invade people’s space

Different countries have different distances at which people stand when they engage each other. It’s in your best interest to be outside of any uncomfortable range that she might have. It’s better to appear socially standoffish than annoyingly aggressive or overbearing.

This is one of the reasons you want to avoid places where the music is too loud. You want to be able to hear and be heard without standing “on top” of the chick. Whatever advances you’re making with your verbal game are being negated by her feeling uncomfortable about the fact that you’re standing so close to her.

If you gain/build rapport with her, fine.. move in closer. Other than that, keep your distance so she’s not contemplating cracking you in your grill with that beer bottle in her hand if you make any sudden moves. Your goal is to make her feel comfortable with you, not WARY.

Don’t be a blithering idiot (don’t slur your speech)

This is a tough one, because who actually KNOWS when they’re drunk and slurring? Basically, do your best NOT to seem like an out-of-control drunk when you kick your game. Again, this adds to her paranoia and blocks her from feeling comfortable around you. As corny as you were from butting into her conversation in the first place and invading her space in the second, you REALLY don’t want her to feel that you might do some weirdo ish just because you’ve had too much to drink already tonight and you can’t be trusted.

Make up your mind what you’re going to do tonight. Either get drunk and whoop it up or just get ‘buzzed’ or ‘tipsy’ and keep your rap game intact. Your goal is either to Get Nice or Get On… Choose ONE!

Don’t touch people

I’ve seen this for years, but never really thought much about it. Unless you have a well thought-out plan, Do NOT Touch People that haven’t invited you to touch them or that you haven’t built a level of rapport with where you FEEL like they might be cool with you touching them.

It’s a basic club tactic for guys to see a girl going by that they want to screw and grab her arm as she walks through a crowd. On the one hand, this makes sense, because clubs are dark AND loud and there’s no other way to get her attention. This style also seems to make sense because there are a lot of girls that go for this. A lot of girls will actually stop and talk to the guy that just grabbed them because they enjoy the attention. They enjoy that he wanted them so much that he just “Couldn’t let her walk by” without saying something to them.

The fact of the matter is that it’s an invasion of privacy and an indicator that his behavior is going to be much more aggressive when he finally gets her alone somewhere. If that’s the image you want to project to chicks, go right ahead and keep grabbing them. You’re either amplifying or destroying your rap. They’re either going to love it or hate it, and in most cases, you’re making more work for yourself than you need to. Stop touching people. If you NEED to meet her, follow her to wherever she’s going, catch her eye and then introduce yourself.

If you insist on continuing with this behavior, at least make sure you grab the arm where she has the beer bottle in her hand so you’re less likely to need stitches later this evening.

Don’t ask questions that you don’t want to answer yourself

I know it’s a regular tactic to fake it as if you want to talk to chicks by talking to them. If you had it like that, you would have walked up to her, said “Let’s get out of here” and she would have left with you and you would have done what you wanted with her. Since you DON’T have it like that, don’t play yourself by asking personal questions.

Why in the hell would a chick that you just met by rolling up uninvited and invading her space feel like telling you where she lives? How old she is? What she ate for dinner? Whether she has a boyfriend? Does that make sense to you?

Leave that stuff out. Everybody knows you’re trying to make smalltalk. Everybody knows you’re biding your time until you can figure out how to get laid. Don’t bother trying to mask it with social banter. If you insist on doing this, keep it impersonal. “How do you like this place?”, “Have you checked out XYZ bar?”, “How do you like the music?”

If you ask personal questions, they’re going to backfire on you when she asks YOU what you just asked HER. How old are YOU? Where do YOU live? See that? All of a sudden, YOU’RE on the defensive and responding in vague and deceptive manners which unearth your true intentions anyway. So do yourself a favor and don’t ask any questions you wouldn’t want to answer yourself.

Do remember what people said

Also, if you INSIST on talking to chicks as a way to stay in the game until you can get laid, try to REMEMBER what they said. If you ask a chick where she’s from and she says she’s from Indiana and moved to NYC three years ago, don’t turn around 5 minutes later and go “So… How long have you lived here?” .. See, you look like a clown, or an idiot, or like you really are, which is that you don’t give a damn what she’s saying and you’re only running your mouth until you can get her alone and get to the nitty-gritty… Which leads us to our final tip:

Don’t be transparent

In the Social Media world, the term “transparency” has become synonymous with positive behavior. It’s basically being up-front with your company’s beliefs, policies, influences and motives. This doesn’t work in the dating world, because your entire plan is to be deceptive and work your way to your desired outcome.

Therefore, being transparent belies everything you’ve been trying to do. Don’t make conversation and then have it be obvious that you’re not interested in what she has to say. Don’t say you’re not trying to have sex with her and then do your best to see what you can get. Don’t cross the entire room to ask her if she has the time when you just walked past several people with watches. Stick to your plan and ride it out to the end.

If you don’t feel like you can do that, then don’t bother playing games at all. Step to her, let her know what you want and then either get it or don’t get it. Otherwise, she’s going to know that you’re going to say ANYTHING you have to to get her to do what you want and your credibility and rapport are going right down the drain.

You’re really better off just going for it, because at least you can get the respect of not having tried to cheat her into sex. You can also get the respect of not having wasted her time, trying for like 30 minutes to talk her into something she didn’t want to do for you in the first place. She’ll also appreciate your not blocking her ops with other guys that she might ACTUALLY want to talk to or mess with. Who knows? You might get lucky and she might approach YOU later in the evening, being that you were the only guy that didn’t try to run game, was up front with what he wanted and wasn’t overbearing or a JERK when she wasn’t interested.

You might also luck out and she might send you a girlfriend of hers that didn’t get any raps tonight and actually likes how you look. Regardless… It’s in YOUR best interest to NOT come off as a CREEP if you want to maximize your efficiency with chicks. Believe me… It gets around faster that you think. :)

~Bill

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This is not a continuation of “Online Dating Tactics”. This is a response to a BlogHer post by Zandria M, entitled “Dating: ‘Tis the Season”.

Zandria: I’ve heard that more breakups occur during the holiday season than any other time of year. [...snip...] The thing is, though, I haven’t seen a drop in the amount of people looking for dates online. In fact, I’m receiving more expressions of interest than I did when I first signed up over the summer.

hehehe Excellent read, Zandria. :) Let me tell you what’s going on.

You explained why you’re getting more expressions of interest now than you did over the summer. Guys are dumping their girls for the holiday season OR they’ve already DECIDED that they’re dumping their girls, so they’re trolling for more women ahead of time. It’s like being a freelancer in a work situation. As a video editor, I get MORE work when people get fired or companies downsize. You’re experiencing the same thing with online dating.

The reasons you gave were spot-on. Basically, the holiday season is an expensive time to have a girlfriend, so guys tend to break up permanently or at least until the season’s over and take their girls back in January.

Another reason is that there are a lot of holiday parties right now, with a lot of DRUNK WOMEN at them. That’s where you want to be, instead of stuck at some party with a chick you already know… or even WORSE, over @ her relatives’ crib! :( This is PRIME TIME for meeting women and starting new relationships. Also, if you start a new relationship NOW, it’s too early for her to expect an expensive gift from you. :)

Zandria: The thing is, though, the more dating you do, the more instances of “Did he really do/say that?” tend to emerge.

You need to catalogue those increasing instances of “Did he really do/say that?” that you’re experiencing, because those are brief glimpses into what a lot of guys are actually thinking. It’s really the little things that give people away.

Zandria: I have had several “interesting” experiences.

For one thing, a lot of guys seem to think they’re six feet tall. I]ve spoken to a number of women who back up this theory of Male Online Dating Height Exaggeration. Guys who really are tall — say, over 6′2″ — tend not to lie. But if I see a profile that says the guy is 6′0″, I’m going to assume he’s at least an inch or two shorter than that. (If I’m 5′9″ and wearing not-very-tall heels, and the dude is also wearing shoes, and we’re looking each other straight in the eye? I’m sorry, but you’re not six feet tall.)

As far as the “six feet tall” thing, hahaha Online dating sites are set up in categories. This is how women and men get to choose whom they see in their search results. If a guy honestly states that he’s 5′9″ and a lot of women check the box that says 6′ or over, he doesn’t show up in the search results and he doesn’t get that date. Or, in some cases, where the site does the matchup FOR you, he doesn’t make the “compatible” list, so, again… HE doesn’t get that date. Since the whole point of him being on the service is to meet women that he wants to date or have sex with or whatever, he wants to meet as many as possible, so he LIES and says he’s 6′ tall. It’s not that he doesn’t REALIZE that he’s not that tall hahahahaha. It’s not that he has delusions about his height. He’s merely tricking you into going out on a date with him, when he’s actually below your selected height requirement.

It’s all in the game. :)

Oh… and apply the same logic to his salary.

Zandria: Another thing: some guys need to be more up-front about important matters that affect possible future relationships before you take the time to meet them in person. I had this one guy wait until our first meeting before he asked me, “Did I tell you that I’m about to be deployed to Iraq for seven months?”

As far as guys being “more up-front about important matters that affect possible future relationships”, nobody’s thinking about “possible future relationships” until they meet you in person. The way it works is, guys get what they can get… NOW… and if it continues, fine. So, if dude’s about to leave town, he’s looking for something to do UNTIL he leaves town. Similar to the “not 6-feet-tall” guy, he’s not going to ruin his chance to try to get some or have a temporary girlfriend by letting you know he’s not physically available for a LTR.

Once he meets you, it’s a different story. He might feel like “this one’s a keeper” and THEN come clean about his current status and future plans. I guess I should have put ‘clean’ in quotes, because STDs are another thing guys (AND gals) don’t tend to mention on online dating sites.

Zandria: Then there are the things that just make me go “Hmm…” Like the guy who came across as really formal and straight-laced, but when I called him out on it (yes, I will call you out if it’s warranted) he assured me, “I do have a dark and twisted side.”

As far as dudes announcing that they “have a dark and twisted side”, that normally means that they don’t, but they’d be willing to make one up so as to not get rejected for being boring. Also, “dark and twisted” is relative to his own experience. I know women who think doggie-style is dark and twisted, hahahaha :D The point is that guys are going to SAY whatever they have to say in order to stay on track to hooking up with you. If they’re wackos, they’re going to say they’re not. If they’re boring, they’re going to say they’re not.

If you want to know if a guy’s “twisted” for real, look in his eyes and then ask him what he wants to do to you.

So, yeah, that’s “how we do”. Lie as much as you need to in online dating so you get a chance to run your IRL game on her. Best-case scenario, the 5′9″ broke-as-a-joke, unemotionally available, boring dude gains the physical company of a female he finds attractive for one or more evenings. Worst-case scenario, she walks out the door as soon as she sees you, because you’re not what she wanted… except that’s the same outcome as if you hadn’t lied on your application in the first place and she never chose you, so who cares?

It’s all in the game. :D

~Bill

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Kay S. Hymowitz posted a very well written, albeit extremely long-winded (which sounds funny coming from me, haha) article entitled “Love in the Time of Darwinism”. It’s a great read, if you’re not in the trenches, experiencing this stuff first-hand. She basically talks about why guys are disgruntled with the dating scene as it stands today.

She also mentions this term I never heard of, called “Menaissance”, which is supposed to be the resurgence of real men after the systematic REMOVAL of real men from American media for years and years and years and years and years.

According to AskMen.com, here are the rules for the new Menaissance:

No more intimidation
Reject sexual blackmail
Keep your wallet closed
Assert yourself
Be nice
Never apologize for being a man
Expect nothing but ultimate respect

ummmmmmmm….. What kind of BULLSHIT is this? You can’t teach cats to be dogs. You can’t teach horses to be humans and you can’t teach non-Alphas to be Alphas. You have it or you don’t. You’re living that life or you’re not. You can’t read an article that tells you to stand up for yourself and suddenly do it, when it doesn’t make sense in YOUR reality.

How is the average joe supposed to “reject sexual blackmail” when all he wants in life is to get laid? How is he supposed to “keep his wallet closed” if shelling out ducats is the only way he gets women to lay down? How is he supposed to assert himself when he’s already been brainwashed that a gentleman is supposed to be gentile? Why should he “never apologize for being a man” when he’s so busy NOT being a man every day of his life? Why should he “expect respect” when he doesn’t COMMAND respect?

Anyway… there IS no “Menaissance”, because the game hasn’t changed AT.ALL. It’s still about “getting girls”, so guys are going to do whatever’s EFFECTIVE for them to get laid, whether that’s paying money, being intimidated, apologizing or being disrespected left and right as long as they can get some.

Kay’s article reminded me of a topic that was brought up to me back on June 11, 2008. I was having a discussion with a woman who suddenly informed me that she read my blog. Obviously, that changed the tone of the discussion, and she ended up asking me something to the effect of why everything I write is confrontational. I meant to write about that but never got around to it.

The best-case-scenario for meeting chicks is mutual attraction. You like her. She likes you. Done deal. That’s all well and good if A) women like you to begin with and B) you live in the sticks, where there’s no competition. Here, in Manhattan, NYC, USA, there’s a high likelihood that a guy who makes exactly one million more dollars than you do every single year is going to kick it to the same chick YOU want. If you have a MetroCard, a guy with a car wants her. If you have a car, the guy with the yacht wants her. If you live in Brooklyn, the guy that lives in SoHo wants her. If you have a job, a guy with a funded startup wants her.

Basically, you have to be loaded for bear if you’re gonna try to pull a chick here, because she has so many guys offering her sex, money and favors that you have to be better than ALL OF THEM to get her to choose you. So that’s the first reason why relations between men and women are confrontational here. Men are at war with each other for the same chicks. If you’re just not “better” than the next man, you have to have tactics that keep you in the game.

The second, and more important reason why relations between men and women are confrontational is that unless and until you convince a woman that she has something invested in her relationship to you, she’s completely unreliable. You can’t count on SHIT that she says, unless she sees you as “her man” or “the one” or whatever she needs to get her mind right to do the right thing.

This becomes immediately obvious to guys as soon as their plans with a woman are disrespected or cancelled at the last minute or not cancelled and she just doesn’t show up, because “who cares?” :D Who cares about YOU? You’re just another wallet. You’re just another opportunity for sex or a roof over her head or food for her kids. Once guys realize this, they have two options… get depressed or get smart.

So that’s the reason why women can’t trust what men say. Nobody’s interested in telling you the truth. They’re interested in getting what they stepped to you for. If a guy tells you he’d rather have a truthful relationship to his woman than have sex with her, he’s lying……….. or she’s busted. :D

One of the more hilarious things about this situation is that WOMEN try to give MEN tips on how to pull women… which usually involves some variation of “Be Yourself”. That’s retarded, because what if “yourself” isn’t good enough? You’re supposed to not get laid because you don’t know which one is the soup spoon? You’re supposed to not get laid because “being yourself” is grabbing her ass and telling her she looks HAWT? :D You’re supposed to not get laid because you’re currently dating 4 other chicks and you ADMIT that to her? Obviously, that’s ridiculous. The advice that women give men benefits WOMEN, not men.

Another problem with the dating scene is that women claim that it’s all about “his heart” and “who he is as a person” and “how he treats her” and then turn around and won’t date a guy that makes less than she does, or a guy that her #*%$ing DOG doesn’t like! :/ When a guy experiences enough of these RETARDED reasons why he can’t get laid, he learns that dating’s like the UFC… You have to take her down (mentally, not physically… stop crying) and you can’t leave it in the hands of the judges.

This is why everything I write is confrontational and about power struggle between men and women. In order to date a chick, you have to fight a war on at least three fronts. You’re fighting against her other suitors (“the next man”), you’re fighting against her own stupid ideas (“my dog doesn’t like him, so…”) and you’re fighting against her nosey girlfriends throwing in their two cents (“you can do better than him!”).

You can’t even relax after you GET her, because the cheating/divorce rates hover around 50%, so only HALF of the guys that go through all the trouble to pull ONE chick get to have her exclusively. Dating is constantly stressful to the guy that understands what time it is. He has to remain on-point and vigilant. He has to maintain his position with her as #1 in order to keep her useful and reliable. The Fellaz know I’m right! :D How USELESS does a chick become right after your relationship is over?

So, yeah. The smart guy does NOT let it go to a decision and leave it in the hands of the judges. He sees what he wants and makes moves to get it. Business is Business. Having said that… running game isn’t for the faint of heart. A lot of guys become MORE depressed about the fact that they have to connive women to have sex with them than they were about the fact that they couldn’t get on in the first place. It’s also potentially depressing how easily women are tricked with bullshit statements like “I love you” and “we’re together” and “I’m not seeing anyone else”……. It’s depressing because you know she doesn’t actually like YOU or know anything about YOU, but by doing some basic and effective tactics, you got what you wanted from her…. or, at least what you THOUGHT you wanted until you actually got it.

~Bill

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