I tend to take a lot of pictures with a lot of different women.

One of the funny side effects of that is that guys assume that the women are random.

In fact, I’m in very few pictures with women I don’t personally know.

I just happen to know a lot of women.

This is what happens when you have 2,800 Facebook Friends… Statistically, that means that there are approximately 1,400 women that count as actual friends of mine, acquaintances, women I’ve spent time with, women I was introduced to by mutual friends, and women that are fans of mine.

There Go Some Chicks! :D

What’s funny about this misperception is that every once in a while, some guy I know will say something to the effect of “There go five girls over there.. Go take pictures with them! :D”

Now.. That’s not impossible for The Kid, but it all depends on whether the chicks are feelin’ me or not (or, at least one of them is).

I can tell this immediately, because my dating instinct is on-point and most guys don’t have it like that.

That’s one of the reasons they call hooking up with a chick “Getting Lucky”. It’s luck. They don’t know how they did it. Most of the time, they didn’t DO anything at all. They were in the right place at the right time and she was drunk enough so she made out with him.

For most guys, that counts as luck. For me, once I’m around a gal a few times, I know instinctively what state she’s in.

She might walk in the door in “I don’t give a damn about Bill” state, but several drinks from now, she’s going to be in “Feel Bill Up” state or “Hook up with any available guy she happens to be attracted to” state.

That’s not luck. It’s knowledge, timing and accuracy.

So, it’s always funny to me when dudes point chicks out to me and think that I can do magic tricks. haha It honestly ain’t that type-a party. :D

If I look over and determine in a few seconds that I have an “in”, I might go over there. Otherwise, I won’t be taking any action, because kickin’ it to chicks that aren’t interested in you isn’t worth your time unless she has an incredible ass.

Basically, when it comes to dating, there are only three types of women:

1. She’s not attracted to you.
2. She’s attracted to you and trying to hide that from you.
3. She’s attracted to you and down with the program.

The only question is whether you can detect that or not so you know how to efficiently interact with her.

Efficiency

If she’s already sweating you, it’s your game to lose. You really don’t have to do anything other than NOT be a jerk and you’ll eventually get on.. In most cases, sooner, rather than later.

If she’s trying to front like she doesn’t like you, that’s cool too. She probably has some kind of “protect my heart” reasons for not telling you what you already know about her. In those situations, your goal in life is to figure out WHY she’s frontin’ on the Jimmy, so you can help her get over it and y’all can get down to the nitty-gritty.

If she’s not attracted to you, that’s the only time you actually have to put in real work to get on. In most cases, it’s not worth the effort, because attractive gals in this town get offered male attention all day, every day, and if she’s not already paying you any attention, there probably isn’t much you can do to get her interested in you without investing major time, effort, and perhaps money.

This is where instinct comes in. You’re better off kickin’ it to the slightly-less-attractive chick that’s sweating you than the slightly-better-looking gal that doesn’t give a damn that you’re standing 10 feet away from her at the bar or apartment party. If you can’t tell which is which, you end up wasting a bunch of time, barking up the wrong tree.

The way you can tell what she’s thinking/feeling is that she gets an extra energy when you’re around her or talking to her. If you can naturally perceive that or you know what that looks like, it’s pretty obvious. Someone may as well have painted her bright orange.

She gets nervous or she laughs too much at your stupid jokes that you know damned well aren’t anywhere near that funny, or she keeps hanging around after you stupidly let the conversation lull because you don’t know what the **** you’re doing.

Perfect Practice Makes Perfect

So.. Besides making your strategy list of the order in which you’re going to approach women based on their physical attractiveness, you need to simultaneously create a list based on how interested each gal seems to be in you before you even step to her.

If you can’t detect this type of stuff, your rap game is basically a shot in the dark.. a LUCK SHOT in the dark, at that.

If you don’t already have it, the only way you’ll develop it is by trial & error… Decide whether you think a woman is interested in you or not and then go introduce yourself to her and see what happens.

Eventually, you should start making more educated guesses at your chances.

In the sticks, introducing yourself to women that aren’t already sweating you might be a high-percentage play, but not in NYC… Women are basically worn out by the number of times guys try to hook up with them in stores, in the street, on public transportation, at work, at parties, in bars… Even though there are too many women in this town, which makes it tough for them to get boyfriends, there are also too many dudes in this town that they don’t want to hook up with that are trying to bag them.

So.. In the interest of energy conservation, you should start practicing and honing your skills ASAP… The Dating Game is much more fun when you only kick it to bright orange chicks! >:D

Unless, of course, she happens to be from New Jersey, and that’s just her spray-tan. :/
–
Connect with Bill via Facebook, Twitter, Email Subscription, RSS Feed

Related Posts

• Nobody’s Created Equal [Hunters, Part 09]
• Team Selection [Hunters, Part 12]
• Dating vs. Hooking Up [Hunters, Part 11]
• Wingman Responsibilities [Hunters, Part 01]
• Bad Decisions / Rolling Mistakes

I receive a lot of questions and comments from female readers about the current state of and/or the progression (or lack thereof) of their relationships:

“Where is this relationship going?”

“When is he going to take me out in public instead of coming over to have sex with me and immediately bouncing?”

“When is he going to call me his girlfriend?”

“When is he going to tell OTHER PEOPLE I’m his girlfriend?”

“How can I tell he’s not dating other women?

“When are we going to get engaged?”

“When is he going to introduce me to his parents?”

Meanwhile, I have NEVER.. In my entire life… Had a guy ask me a question like that about a woman he’s dating. Never. :D

Ladies.. Pay Attention…

If you’re seeing, dating, messing with or hooking up with someone, progression isn’t guaranteed. In fact, you may very well currently be at the highest level of relationship you’re ever going to achieve with this particular guy.

If you’re not aware of how a guy relates to and/or perceives women, you won’t be able to make any educated guesses or decisions about your relationship to him, because you’ll never understand your position on The Roster.

Commitment

In my experience, women commit to relationships before men do…. WAY before men do.

Pretty much, you can be kickin’ it to a chick on a Monday, and then on Tuesday, she’s like “I’m dating whomever now! :D”, as if something’s actually changed between you during the last 8 hours, while you were sleeping.

It’s really pretty creepy, now that I’m thinking about it. :D They get this glazed look on their faces, and frequently smile too much, seemingly accessing memories of whomever it is that they’re suddenly “committed to” merely because he suggested that they officially represent themselves as “dating” now.

It’s even creepier when you know that this chick just hopped off your boy’s dilznick just last weekend, like she was physically hooking up with and drooling all over your friend, and then a few days later, she’s purportedly “in a relationship” with some other dude.

I think this comes from the brainwashing received by little girls from day 01 that having a boy select them validates their worth. This is why they’re taught to be homemakers while boys are taught to play football and baseball.

Meanwhile, boys are taught to “Get Girls”, and that’s the end of it. It doesn’t really matter which one you get, so long as she looks good and is functionally useful.

For instance, there’s no point in getting a girl that looks good if she’s going to be a pain in the neck to hook up with. There’s no point in getting a girl that’s completely DTF if she doesn’t look good so you don’t want to hit it anyway. You can figure out the rest of the permutations.

So, basically, in the beginning of a relationship, while guys are experiencing “This works for me! :D”, gals are experiencing “He is The One! :D”, which is a completely different level of focus and involvement.

This is one of the reasons why dudes FREAK OUT when a chick they’re dating says she loves them. It’s like “Yo. Take it easy. Things aren’t that serious. It Ain’t That Type-a Party. :/”. We can see how much of a scene they’re going to make when we attempt to pry their hands off tha dilznick when we’re like “Nah, I don’t want to get engaged (to you)”, or “Nah, I don’t want to get married (to you)”, or “Nah, there’s no reason for you to meet my parents and close friends” or whatever.

Your relationship essentially becomes a countdown to The Hindenburg or The Titanic, and it’s not a question of IF, but only a question of WHEN she realizes she’s not who she thinks she is in your grand scheme of things.

This is why I’m going to try to explain The Roster to the ladies. I thought this was completely obvious, but the questions I receive from female readers of the blog indicate that their standing in their relationships remains a complete mystery to them.

Multitasking

There are laws against bigamy in the United States of America:

Bigamy: In cultures that practice marital monogamy, bigamy is the act of entering into a marriage with one person while still legally married to another.[1] Bigamy is a crime in most western countries, and when it occurs in this context often neither the first nor second spouse is aware of the other.[2][3] In countries that have bigamy laws, consent from a prior spouse makes no difference to the legality of the second marriage, which is usually considered invalid.

Meanwhile, there’s no such law that dictates that a guy can’t have as many girlfriends as he can get. >:D

I never really counted, but I think that before the internet/online age, my maximum was three simultaneous girlfriends, if you don’t count satellite chicks that would have messed with me if I would have put them in the starting rotation.

The reason I bring up the internet is that before all this social media connectivity, you actually had to spend physical time on one gal or another. You couldn’t be on the phone with more than one girl at a time. You couldn’t go out on a date with more than one girl at a time. The number of chicks you could kick it to was limited to the number of hours in a day that you had reserved for that format of recreation. There was also studying, chillin’ with your homeboys, playing sports, meeting new girls, going to parties, hitting the gym… If you only had three hours available on a particular day, that might be three one-hour phone calls in a row with all of your girlfriends, or one three-hour hangout with only one of them.

Thanks to the internet, I can maintain 9 or 10 simultaneous text chats with chicks and be done with my obligations within 30 minutes [assuming that a) I was kickin' it to 9 chicks, and b) they all came online at the same time].. “How was your day?” “What did you do?” “What’s going on next week?” “Let’s get together for drinks” blah blah blah

This new technology is, in fact, what sank Tiger Woods‘ battleship. He tried to multitask chicks, and he’s not smooth like that.

Thanks to texting. You can be sitting at a bar in front of one gal and telling another gal that you’re working, or that you’re running late and will see her later, because [whatever excuse you gave her] is taking longer than you anticipated. She can’t hear the music or see you lampin’ with the other gal, so she has to accept whatever you tell her. Smartphone Texting is the multitasker’s DREAM, so long as you don’t type the wrong content to the wrong chick.

Another thing that makes it easy to have several girlfriends is that women like to front… A LOT! :D haha It’s always “I don’t want to do this!” or “I don’t want to do that!”, which, I suppose gives them some sort of feeling of control over a guy’s happiness.

In fact, what happens when you front is that one of the chicks in the other text boxes gets a surprise opportunity to hang out with The Kid. You can’t stop ME from enjoying my life. You can only stop YOURSELF! >:D

This basic concept is something that throws women off and makes them think they’re in exclusive relationships when they’re actually not. Especially in a town where there are so many more women than men, y’all have to realize that whatever you’re not doing for him, he can get some other chick to do, right now.

There’s no reason for him to argue about it. There’s no reason for him to try to convince you. You had “Right of first refusal” and you exercised your option. Now, he’s going to exercise HIS options.

To a lot of women, this appears to be an exclusive relationship where she put her foot down and he accepted it. In lots of cases, that’s exactly what’s going on. In other cases, she’s completely oblivious to the fact that she’s only one of the chicks on the roster.

The Roster

I’ve mentioned The Roster informally, but I never actually concretely defined it. This is mainly because I thought it was obvious and didn’t warrant its own post and discussion.

I sometimes refer to it as Voltron Technique, because instead of trying to find all the qualities you like in one woman, you add women that have one or more qualities that you like to the roster and then select whom you’re going to spend time with depending on what you’re craving at that particular time.

Qualities include (but are not restricted to):

1. Facial Attractiveness (but no body to speak of)
2. Hawt Body (but you don’t necessarily enjoy her grill)
3. Intelligence (but no sexuality or sensuality)
4. Common Sense
5. Deserving Personality (sometimes, it’s just a beautiful thing to be able to do something for a gal that deserves to have things done for her because she has such a stellar personality… although you’d never hit it in, like, a million years)
6. Professional In Your Field (it’s really fantastic to be able to talk shop with a chick. she can actually understand what you mean when you gripe about business issues and you can learn from each other’s situations and techniques)
7. Professional In Another Field (it’s very cool to hear about fields you’re interested in but never studied, so you don’t have a clue about them)
8. World Traveler (real life Travel Channel, sunnn! >:D)
9. DTF (no muss, no fuss)
10. Tough Chick (it’s annoying, being around wussy, non-athletic chicks all the time)
11. Serial Monogamist (fascinating study subjects. excellent blog material)
12. Not Aware That She’s A Ho (psychologically entertaining. excellent for mind-expansion, regarding the chemically-based effects of sexuality on women)
13. Athlete (inspires you to get in better shape)
14. Frigid (amazing to watch and wonder when she’s going to snap out of it and start living her life)
15. Safe (for whatever reason, this gal will NEVER press up on you, which means you never have to hit it or reject her and you can remain friends with her indefinitely)
16. Loved, Or At Least, Really, Really Liked (a chick where nothing at all has to happen when you spend time with her, you just really enjoy being around her and experiencing the feeling of loving her, regardless of whether it’s requited)

So what happens is, you build the roster, and then you select whatever you’re craving that particular day, like you would from the McDonald’s menu.

You don’t really care what happens, but you want Eye Candy?.. You know whom to contact.
You’re not pressed over how she looks, but you want to have an intelligent, coherent, worthwhile conversation? You know whom to contact.
You want to do something athletic, but not necessarily sensual? You know whom to contact
You want to learn something new or hear about a place you never intend to travel to in your entire lifetime? You know whom to contact.
You definitely want to hook up? You know whom to contact.

This is The Roster. Women enter and exit like a revolving door. You lose one pretty chick, you gain one with a body. One of the smart chicks achieves a boyfriend and becomes defunct for a few months until they break up, and one of the frigid chicks decides it’s time for her to get back in the physical game.

It’s pretty much like Fantasy Football. Trades are made.. Players go on and off the Injured Reserve list.. There’s no official team, like the Steelers or the Jets, but each participant has players from those teams on their roster, and it’s pot luck each week, what each player’s going to be worth to you.

Back At The Ranch…

Meanwhile… Women either understand that they’re only one of the gals on the roster or they don’t.

This is often the guy’s “fault”, because it’s easier to get women to be functionally useful if you convince them they’re the only one you’re seeing / dating / messing with. There’s no reason to inform women that they’re one of like SIX chicks you might spend time with on any given day, unless, of course, you’re willing to completely sabotage your own sexual progress with them.

As you can tell from the list, there are quite a few types of females that fall into this category, such as you think she’s intelligent, but you’re not interested in hooking up with her… or maybe that you ARE interested in hooking up with her, but your business relationship is more important.

This is, in my opinion, the worst problem for women that don’t know they’re on a roster. They’re looking forward to progress in their relationships, but there’s no actual way for them to advance up the pyramid or totem pole.

Let’s say a guy knows a gal that has a PhD and speaks 5 languages. >:D

Regardless of how smart YOU THINK you are, if he wants to spend time with a smart chick, it’s NOT going to be YOU! o_O

More importantly.. If he wants to HAVE KIDS with a smart chick, it’s not going to be you.

Let’s say a guy knows a gal that always wants to have sex with him or strip for him or turn him on in some fashion, and you’re still rockin’ that old-school, holding out, sex embargo, “I’m not that type of girl” bullshit….. You’re through. Finished. The only time he’s gonna kick it with you is when he feels like spending time chipping away at a stone instead of getting straight to the good part.

Let’s say a guy knows a gal that grew up taking care of her younger sisters and he knows damned well she’s really good with kids and a kind, compassionate person. If you’re FOYINE AS HELL, but happen to be A SELFISH JERK who he really doesn’t think is fit to be a mother, you’re through….. He’ll sport you on his arm so all his friends can compliment him on the chick he’s screwing, but if it ever gets down to brass tacks and he decides he wants to have a family, you’re not the one.

Bait & Switch

Another insanely-typical situation is women that try to do the bait & switch on dudes. They try to get a leg up (hahaha pun intended!) by having sex with dudes off the jump and then wonder how they can parlay that into “an actual relationship”. In fact, IT IS an actual relationship. That’s your relationship, that he likes ******* you.

\o/

Why in the world would a guy go from a relationship that’s 100% action to wasting time taking you to dinner or the movies or out for drinks or anything that didn’t involve immediate sex?

Do you do overtime at work for free?… Nope! haha When that whistle blows, you’re outta here like Belvedere. Why would you expect dude to take you out on dates when the only reason to take you out is to get you back inside so he can hook up with you?

This is a tough enough transition to make with “single” guys that don’t have any other girls at all. It’s IMPOSSIBLE to make when he already HAS girls to go to dinner with. He already HAS girls that look good on his arm. He already HAS girls he’s thinking about marrying. He probably already has girls to have sex with, but felt like adding more, and that’s where you came in.

So don’t be surprised that every time he gets in contact with you, it’s to set up sex or talk about sex. That’s why you were hired. That’s your position on The Roster. If he didn’t feel like hooking up with you, he wouldn’t be speaking to you at all.

Girlfriends, Fiancees & Wives

The same principle applies to upgrading your relationship to a higher-status title.

Just because some dude tells you you’re in the running to become Mrs. Dude doesn’t mean you’re going to win the race. It doesn’t even mean you’re IN the race, or anywhere near the front of the pack.

If the hammer dropped TODAY, and he was forced to make a decision, you MIGHT COULD get dumped for some woman you never heard of before. She was most likely on the roster before you were. If not, she entered at a higher level than you did when it comes to decision-making about exclusive relationships… You have a nice ass, she makes $200,000/year, you lose.

This is one of the reasons why there’s often hemming & hawing when you bring up the girlfriend, fiancee, wife conversation.. When you want to “make it official”.. When you want him to announce to his friends that you’re his girlfriend. When you want him to introduce you to his parents. When you want him to let you go out with him and his best friends…

A lot of times, that’s not going to work, because his friends have already met his PhD chick. His parents have already met his “I might marry this woman” chick(s). He can’t tell you you didn’t make the grade, because then you’ll stop giving it up, so there won’t be any point in spending time with you at all. It’s in his best interest to string you along until he makes a decision about selecting one woman or decides he’s willing to release you by telling you where you really stand.

Also.. It’s not intelligent for women to assume that a guy y’all are dating intends to EVER make a decision between all of his girlfriends. It’s not a “given”. He might TELL YOU he’s looking for a wife, so he can get his ‘foot in the door’, but that doesn’t mean that a) he’s ACTUALLY interested in only having one woman, or b) that he thinks that YOU might actually qualify for the position.

As many women are starving to get married, you have to be suspicious of guys that don’t go off the market immediately, yet claim that they’re interested in marriage. What are they waiting for? o_O

What is it about YOU that makes them think you might be “The One”?

This is why you need to know whether you’re on The Roster or not. If you’re looking to land an exclusive relationship with a guy, you need to know what your competition’s bringing to the table.

Often, a guy’s friends have a better grasp of what your chances are than you do. They’re not going to TELL YOU, because of Guy Code, but believe me, they know.

While you’re busy having marriage fantasies, they’re like “She’s less sophisticated than this other chick he brought around. She’s not as attractive as that chick he met last week. She’s not all over him like that drunk girl at the party. Her ass isn’t as sweet as that Puerto Rican chick he brought to the park…”

This is one of the reasons that guys are paranoid to bring girls around their friends. It has more to do with what their friends know about the real deal than being embarrassed to show off the chick to them.

Sometimes, you have cutthroats that will throw you under the bus to try to get the rap to your girl, giving up information about other girls you brought around… no good. :D

Sometimes, you have friends that can’t hold their liquor and they end up blabbing all your personal information in the street and accidentally informing the chick of what time it really is.

What To Do?

The first thing you need to do is figure out whether you’re on a roster or not. The second thing is to figure out where you stand, amongst the other women. Third, you need to determine whether you can overcome the awesome forces that oppose your efforts to reach The Dragon’s Lair.

Once you determine all of that, you can decide to remain in the game or bounce.

The obvious problem is how to possibly figure it out… You can’t do it unless he’s willing to communicate honestly & authentically with you…. Of course… Being that you’re already in “a relationship” with him, you assume he’s been communicating authentically with you from the beginning, because if he wasn’t, you can’t trust anything he’s said to you this entire time. You can’t trust that he’s planning to get married. You can’t trust that he’s considering to get married TO YOU. You can’t trust that you’re the only gal he’s dating or having sex with.

This is why I always advocate dating friends of friends. Hopefully, you can count on people you know to give you an accurate assessment of how a guy conducts himself around women. Also, he knows that if he screws up, his entire social circle’s going to hear about it, so he has more incentive to treat you properly if he didn’t naturally feel like doing that to begin with.

The other thing you can do is always strive to be on top of your game. The cream rises to the top. If you’re not sure you’re the ONLY woman he’s dating, make sure you’re THE BEST woman he’s dating, Capisce? >:D

Instead, women typically go in the other direction and once they find out they’re not the only one, they make themselves LESS USEFUL instead of MORE USEFUL and slide right down the totem pole, off the bottom.

If you think you’re not in a competition, you’re wrong.

If you think you shouldn’t *BE* in a competition, you shouldn’t be dating in the first place.
–
Connect with Bill via Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, MySpace, Email Subscription, RSS Feed

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• You’re Still Not Me
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• Men Buy Sex
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A friend of mine told me my dating posts are sometimes shocking to her. :D

This is a good thing… You can either feel shocked now or feel shocked later when/if something happens to you in the future.

If you’re shocked now, you’ll be more prepared to deal with a situation if it becomes necessary. If you’re shocked when it happens, not only are you going to be surprised, but you’re going to be confused because neither you nor anybody you know will have a valid explanation of what just happened to you.

This is why women come up with statements like “He wasn’t mature enough” or “He’s a BOY, not a MAN” or “He’s afraid of committment”, when the fact of the matter is that he saw something he wanted, he set you up and then he hit it & quit it. Period. Ain’t No Mystery. :D

The reason you’re clueless as to what’s happening to you is that all the people you talk to and whose articles you read are giving you censored dating information.

Censorship & Shelter

When I was a a kid, I grew up watching network television (the basic channels that are freely available to the viewing public). I didn’t have HBO and Showtime and whatever else they were offering at the time.

Network television is censored. All content that might be deemed offensive or unsettling is removed from the television show or film. This is why, in the beginning of a movie, it would say “Edited For Television”. You’re not seeing the entire film. You’re not receiving the same experience that theatergoers did when they saw the movie.

I used to do this for one of my clients. We called it “Prepping” (Preparing) the film. You have to watch the entire movie and every time someone curses (swears, cusses), you remove the audio so their mouths are moving but you can’t hear anything.

Same thing for any other content that was deemed inappropriate by the station’s standards. If there was egregious violence, the EP might instruct you to take it out. Visually unsettling content? Out. Nudity? Out. Sex? Out.

What you end up with is a film that tells the story, only not in its entirety. You’re still entertained, but there are KEY elements of the film’s plot or character development that were kept from you that inhibit your complete understanding of the situation.

Growing up, I didn’t realize that this was being done until I saw the same movies on cable television (paid for by subscription so you can see theatrical releases of films without commercials) that I had seen on network television. My memory is visual (which is one of the reasons why I can do what I do at this point as a video editor) so after watching a film a couple of times, I’ve pretty much memorized the sequences without consciously trying to.

So I’m watching a movie, where it goes from, say “Scene A” to “Scene C” on network television. Where it’s supposed to cut, it cuts.. but it goes to this 5-minute-long “Scene B” that I never saw before because it had been censored for sexual content when it was shown on network television. Of course.. Since the filmmaker included this scene in the unedited theatrical release, this scene was also *NECESSARY* to explain why one of the characters gets all emotional later in the film, which never made any sense to me because all they had done was walk around holding hands the entire movie and I wasn’t aware that they had hooked up.

Same thing with cursing. If all you watch is network television, everything you’re seeing and hearing is censored. When you finally watch a film in the theater, you’re going to be SHOCKED that people are cursing so much. In fact, Depending on your peer group (if they’re as sheltered/clueless as you are), you’re going to be shocked when you hear ANYBODY in the street cursing because you watch Oprah and Dr. Phil and reality television shows where every curse word is BLEEPed out or the audio is removed and you’re not used to the concept that there are lots of people who curse all day every day.

Welcome To The Real World, Neo

This is why some of my dating posts are going to be shocking to you. I’m talking about things you weren’t told about. I’m talking about things that were deliberately… things that *ARE* deliberately being kept from you so that you can remain clueless and keep falling for the okey-doke.

Nobody’s going to admit to you that they walked all the way across the bar to come meet you because they liked your ass and wanted to see if they could tap that. Meanwhile.. The next day, the way you were described to the fellaz that weren’t there is “Yo. I met this chick with a DOPE ASS last night”, and that’s all the initial description you get. Maybe we’ll get to hear whether you were wearing jeans or a miniskirt ON that azz before the play-by-play of his conversation/action with you begins, but I have *NEVER* heard a rap report begin with “Yo.. I met this really well-read woman this evening!” or “Yo.. I met this chick that has a PhD and speaks 5 languages, SUNNN!!! >:D”. Similarly, I’ve never heard a guy tell me that he deliberately kicked game to a gal he wasn’t physically attracted to (read: wanted to have sex with).

The less you know about this stuff, the better it is for everybody. Guys get what we want and gals feel good about giving it to us. It’s extremely important for you to believe that we spoke to you because we noticed that you were reading XYZ book or you were doing the same exercise we like to do in the gym and wanted to give you some “friendly” pointers. It’s important for you to believe that we really didn’t know what aisle the beer was in at the supermarket when we walked up to you and asked if you could help us… and then our eyes inexplicably and supernaturally locked…

I’m not guessing about this stuff I blog about. I’m not making things up out of thin air or speculating about what some guy MIGHT do, say or think. I write about what I’ve personally done to people, what people have done to me, and what people whose opinions I trust and respect have told me they’ve done or that others have done to them.

I’m telling you, and not guessing, that guys have:

1. Taken off their wedding rings so it doesn’t hinder them from meeting other women.
2. Bought and worn fake wedding rings because they know some women go after married men harder than they go after single guys.
3. Carried on multiple simultaneous long-term relationships (LTRs).
4. Had sex with chicks that were drunk out of their minds and/or passed out.
5. Had unprotected sex with girls until she called them and said she was pregnant, then never accepted another call from her ever again in life.

I’m telling you, and not guessing, that gals have:

1. Hooked up with guys they weren’t physically attracted to so they could get their hands on his money.
2. Bounced from a perfectly good relationship because she got rapped to by a guy that makes more money than her current man.
3. Not informed the guy who got them pregnant until it was too late to consider alternatives to having the kid (thus, removing him from the discussion of “What are WE going to do?”).
4. Had diseases and not told the guy until AFTER she had sex with him (if she ever told him at all).
5. Hooked up with the next man, gotten pregnant and tried to pin it on their steady boyfriend.

If these things don’t shock or scare you.. THEY *SHOULD*! :D

It’s All In The Game

They don’t shock me because I’ve seen the ‘real movie’ and you haven’t. I had to listen to the cursing before I removed it so you could watch a curse-free film on network television. I saw the sex & violence scenes that the Executive Producer ordered removed so you could watch a non-offensive film.

I’ve had a chick tell me that she was from out of town and leaving tonight and then when I checked with a friend of mine at the same party that had kicked it to the same chick, he informed me that she said she was from here and wanted to go home with him. I’ve seen dudes drop off one chick at the train station that thought she was his exclusive girlfriend and then we’d travel back to the same train station an hour later to pick up another girl that thought SHE was his only girlfriend. I’ve had chicks front for HOURS like they didn’t want to hook up with me and then when I start bailing to go meet up with a different chick, ALL OF A SUDDEN they want to give it up. :D

I’ve seen, experienced and heard about myriad treacherous situations that are censored from the dating public so y’all don’t flip your wigs. Just because you’ve never heard of it doesn’t mean it’s not happening to you or your friends. Sometimes, the correct assessment of a situation lays outside the box of what you’re willing to consider or what you’ve been trained to understand.

Your baby’s father never changes his own kid, feeds him or her, or spends time with the baby alone so you can go out with your girlfriends?.. Maybe he never intended to do any of that stuff to begin with. o_O He never cooks or washes his own clothes? (much less, YOURS!).. Maybe that’s why you were ‘hired’. Having a girlfriend is supposed to lead to less work and more fun, not more work and LESS fun. Every so often, the obvious explanation is also going to be shocking for you.

Are there people that approach dating like an After School Special or a John Cusack movie? Certainly. Lots of them. They dance around the Christmas Tree holding hands and melt The Grinch’s heart.

Other people approach dating like a sport or a game and their goal is to WIN. Whether you win too is a peripheral issue and sometimes not even considered.

The contest is ON to bag the oldest chick that’s still hawt enough to count as a MILF to the fellaz. The race is ON to hook up with twins, or at least sisters, either in serial or parallel.

There are females that sit around comparing notes and berating their girlfriends that aren’t hooked up with rich enough guys. There are gals that have kids so they can get guaranteed paychecks from their victims, er, the babies’ fathers.

Shock & Awe

Some of what I write about is shocking or upsetting or depressing because that’s how REAL LIFE goes, sometimes. I’ve seen dudes fake being religious, get married to a chick, have a kid with her and then blow the whole charade by getting busted, Tiger Woods-style, sexting and voicemailing with a girl half his wife’s age…. I mean, DAMN! :D

Every once in a blue, something I consider completely outlandish and over-the-top happens and I just have to shake my head as my expectations for human beings and their behaviors sink to a tragically pathetic new low.

Most times, I’ve already seen a version of the play someone tries to pull on me or on someone else. I’m usually bored by people’s primitive tactics and the countermeasures are so obvious that I don’t even get excited about whether they’re going to work for me or not.

I don’t even hold grudges against the gals that try to play me. I just charge it to the game and keep it movin’. I don’t FORGET what they tried to do, but I understand why they went out like suckers and I also understand why they tried to bag The Kid.

So.. The ‘shocking’ stuff I write about, you can watch on the news every day. A dude’s married for 50 years and then it’s revealed that he’s had another girlfriend for the last 30 years?.. Whatever. A dude has two different families that live in two different houses and he tells one gal that he works the day shift and the other gal he works the night shift so he can spend time with both of them?.. Whatever. A woman reveals after 15 years of a dude bussin’ his ass working every day to support his child that the kid isn’t his?.. Whatever. A chick drags 8 dudes on The Maury Show because all of them hit it without using condoms within a week of when she became pregnant?.. Whatever.

The dating scene isn’t actually a shallow public pool.. It’s a shark tank. You feel shocked because you think I’m telling you there are sharks in the pool. I’m actually just informing you that you jumped in where the sharks already were doin’ their thang. Your best defense is to know that there are sharks before you jump in, so you can digest this information and make educated decisions when the time comes.

If you hop in the water, bleeding (Girls complaining about your situations and telling guys exactly what they need to know to easily bag you.. Guys leading with your wallets and letting gals know you’re willing to spend every last dime of your hard-earned money if she’ll hook up with you), there’s a percentage chance that you’ll emerge unscathed, but there’s also a good chance that you’re gonna Get GOT!

So.. Whether you’re shocked or not and whether you like it or not, I didn’t make up THE RULES to this game… I’m just the one tellin’ ya how it is.
–
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I touched on this briefly in “Wingman Responsibilities [Hunters, Part 01]“, but if you’re putting together a crew of dudes to pull chicks or even just working with one other guy, Team Selection is CRITICAL.

Sometimes, the reason you don’t get on is that you doomed yourself from the beginning by selecting the wrong team for the job.

Everybody’s not effective in all situations.

Just like Mission: Impossible, you have to figure out where you’re going, what the atmosphere is, what kind of women go there, which of your wingmen are effective with that particular demographic, and then who amongst that subset of your cronies is most likely to add value to the situation and least likely to fumble.

Jersey Shore

I felt like talking about this today because the ‘Jersey Shore’ dudes have this weirdo style of team-rapping. Every time you see them pull chicks, it’s in pairs. It’s really weird. :D

The problem with always picking up multiple chicks is that you’re multiplying your likelihood of failure. Instead of only having ONE female whose mood you have to regulate, you now have TWO. That’s bad enough to begin with, but then, similar to the Bechdel Test, they’re actually talking to each other, which is just about the worst thing that can happen. :(

So the question becomes “Did you pull the girls from the club because you wanted to mess with them or because you wanted to enjoy some kind of weirdo event with your homeboy where you hook up and he watches you and your girl from 15 feet away while he’s eating a sandwich?”.

As a side note, Vinny deserves props for salvaging his HORRIBLE RAP to Ramona. She seems to be having a very good time with Vinny now, so kudos to him on that! :D

Who Is He?

The first thing you need to know is WHO your wingman is, or perhaps what station he currently occupies in life. This is important because y’all might not be seeing chicks the same way, which could lead to disastrous results.

Let’s say, for instance, that you’re a single dude and you’re hanging out with a dude that’s married (and happens not to cheat on his wife). He’s not seeing any of the girls in your vicinity as potential targets, so he’s liable to do and say some REEEEEEEEEALLY STUPID THINGS.

What difference does it make to him if he alienates the chicks? That has no effect whatsoever on his wife giving him some when he goes home. What difference does it make if he makes himself (and you, by association) look like a JERK?.. None.

No matter what he does, his ability to get laid is insulated. This makes him dangerous and a potential liability to your rap at any stage of the game.

This week, on ‘Jersey Shore’, Pauly pulls these two chicks and they come back to the crib with him and Mike and when they get there, it turns out that Mike’s girl for the night isn’t DTF.

Instead of doing THE RIGHT THING and taking this extra chick to the kitchen or wherever so Pauly can get laid, Mike starts “calling a ho a ho”, which is NEVER good policy.

The LAST THING YOU WANT TO DO is tell a chick that you know she’s easy. Even hoes want to feel like they’re hard to get. YOUR goal in life is to let them believe that long enough for you to hook up with them.

So, not only does Mike call the chick a ho, but he informs her directly (and in front of the OTHER ho) that because she’s not going to perform, she has to get out of his bed right now and chill in the living room. :D HAHAHA Not only did he simultaneously destroy Pauly’s rap by pointing out his girl for the night’s station in life, but what sense did it make for him to kick the other chick out of the room and remain in the room HIMSELF, spectating Pauly’s action?

Actually, this brings me to the next section..

How Desperate Is He?

Desperation is a good trait in a wingman.. to a degree. You want your teammate to be rather interested in pulling new chicks for tonight because that’s what the game’s all about. If you teamed up with the married dude, he might not be hungry enough to be effective, AND will probably end up being a liability as I mentioned earlier.

OTOH.. You don’t want dude to be so desperate that he loses his mind and forgets what the goal of the evening is. The goal is not for the two of youse as a TEAM to get laid. After you extract the chicks from the club, it’s every man for himself. If your girl fronts, it’s your job to keep her from cockblocking your boy, because that’s what you want him to do for you on that night that will be coming up soon where your girl is DTF and his isn’t.

If you look at Mike’s behavior, it’s just stupid. What did he suspect was going to happen when he told the chick essentially “If you’re not giving it up, get out of my bed AND get out of my room, because the only reason I invited you over was to **** you”? :D haha Did he think she was going to go “Oh.. Damn.. You’re right about that.. My Bad! :/” and lay down and give it up?

That’s absolutely ridiculous, so in dissing her by telling her that her only value to him was the late-night hookup, all he did was simultaneously destroy Pauly’s rap too. If you’re calling the chick that WOULDN’T hook up with you a ho and kicking her out of bed, what does that make her homegirl feel like that’s still laying down with Pauly? o_O

So you want your wingman to be desperate enough to put in good work, but you DON’T want him to be so desperate that he catches feelings for not getting laid and ruins the night for YOU in the process.

What’s His Style?

If you’re going to Brooklyn, bring a hipster with you. If you’re going to an upscale Manhattan club, bring a dude in a suit that has class & style and won’t be intimidated by quality women. If you’re going to a ghetto party or social club, bring a ghetto dude.

“Styles Make Fights”. You have to select the proper team member(s) for each mission. Bringing the ghetto dude to the hipster party does you no good. Bringing the hipster to the Manhattan party does you no good.

Basically, you want your team to blend into the surroundings but simultaneously have an edge over other squads that are trying to pull the same girls. At the end of the day, women are women, or, how do they say?.. “All cats are grey in the dark”. Regardless of whatever your wingman’s style of dress or demeanor is, if he doesn’t know how to deal with women in general, you’re pretty much screwed. You might actually do better by bringing the ghetto guy that knows his way around women to the hipster party than bringing a dude that looks the part but isn’t contributing JACK-**** to the team getting on.

How Does He Pull Girls?

It’s very important to know what it is about a potential teammate that the ladies like. It’s also important to know what skillz he’s bringing to the table that help him to bypass roadblocks.

For instance.. Mike gets girls because of his stomach. No chick has ever called him handsome in the history of ‘Jersey Shore’. No chick has ever complimented him on his gift of gab. Every time you see girls around him in the club, it’s because he’s lifting his shirt and letting them touch his stomach. In the entire.. what?.. 22 episodes over two seasons of ‘Jersey Shore’, I’ve never seen Mike salvage a rap by talking the chick into hooking up with him. If she’s not DTF because of his body and/or because he’s a reality television star, it seems like he can’t pull a non-grenade to save his life.

There’s nothing wrong with that, but you have to recognize that that’s what he’s bringing to the table as a wingman. It’s like the strong guy on Mission: Impossible. You didn’t hire him to program any computers. You didn’t hire him to do any good acting. You hired him to lift things and beat people up. That was his job, because that’s what he was good for.

Similarly.. If you’re going to a club where girls give it up because a guy works out a lot, bring Mike. If you’re going to a hotel bar to meet women that expect intelligent & stimulating conversation, DO NOT bring Mike. :D

In fact, this is what confused me about the entire second season of ‘Jersey Shore’. The name of the show is…. JERSEY… SHORE… How in the **** are you going to film a season in Miami? Their style doesn’t even play well in Miami. It only works at Seaside Heights, New Jersey, and MAAAAAAYBE out on Long Island. That’s like making a show called “Harlem World” and filming the second season in the Lower East Side, or Kansas for that matter. It doesn’t make any sense.

Of course, they probably ended up calling it ‘Jersey Shore’ because all the other names they wanted to use for the show got rejected. \o/

Anyway.. If you’re going out with intelligent women, don’t bring a ditzy bodybuilding dude to back you up. If you’re going out with girls that are looking for “Gorilla Juice-Heads”, don’t bring a scrawny, artsy, intellectual dude with no physique.

It’s your job to bring dudes with you that the women you’re trying to hook up with are going to like just as much as it’s your job to find chicks that your boys are going to want to try to bring back to the hot tub.

Two Strikes, And You’re Out!

I’ve paid my dues. I’ve put in my *HOURS* of sitting around, chatting up chicks I didn’t give a flying **** about so my boy could screw her girlfriend in another room.

That’s probably why I don’t have any sympathy for these lame situations. It’s very simple. The goal is for everyone on the team to have a “good night”. If it works out that one dude pulls a DTF chick and someone else doesn’t, rally ’round the ******* FLAG and help your boy do what he’s trying to do.

One of these days, YOU’RE gonna be the only guy that pulled a viable chick and you’re going to appreciate your comrades assisting your efforts to reach The Dragon’s Lair.

Pretty much, a dude should be allowed to jack up your rap TWICE, maximum. The first time is when you didn’t know he was so stupid as to say or do what he did that made the girls scowl and scamper away instead of handing out contact information. The second time is after you TELL HIM WHAT HE DID WRONG and tell him how to fix it and inform him that you don’t intend to be cockblocked by his ridiculous antics ever again.

If he screws it up after that, don’t invite him on missions anymore. If he shows up by accident, distance yourself from him so you don’t suffer from guilt by association.

As much hard work as you put into crafting your image and demeanor, if you don’t surround yourself with the correct teammates, it’s all for naught because someone else is going to kick a hole in the boat and sink your rap for you.

If you don’t know what someone’s going to do or you suspect he’s going to do the wrong thing, you’re probably better off going solo and hannlin’ yo bidnezz on your own… You know what they say… “If you want something done right….” >:D
–
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Probably the worst mistake a Hunter can make when he’s heading out to pull chicks is assuming that he and the next man are equals.

There’s no such thing. Nobody’s created equally and nobody develops their looks, physique, personality or game equally.

We all have advantages and disadvantages compared to the next man when it comes to pulling any particular chick, depending on her taste and what floats her boat.

Similar to MMA fighting (Mixed Martial Arts), it’s your job to figure out what YOUR strenghths are and HIS weaknesses are so you can exploit both and come off with the number or the makeout or the lay or the relationship or whatever you had planned to accomplish.

If you and I are targeting the same chick and you think you can do what I can do, you’re a fool.

If I think *I* can do what YOU can do, I’M a fool! :D

You’re really better off coming to the table assuming that you’re the underdog (even when you KNOW you’re not) and that you’re going to have to bring your A-Game to defeat your competition. Fear of loss helps you stay focused and avoid easin’ back like you’ve got it like that so you don’t get caught slippin’ while some Herb absconds with your female.

Genetically, nobody’s created equal. Some of us are taller than others. Some of us are stronger than others. Some of us are smarter than others. Some of us are better video editors than others. Some of us are better writers or bloggers than others. Some of us have better Google rankings than others. Everything counts and could make or break your rap.

I was talking to this chick the other day and she says that she only dates guys that are over 5’11″ tall. I’m 5’9″ tall. That means that some ******* HERB whose brain doesn’t even work properly, has zero earning potential and isn’t in anywhere near as good physical shape as I am is still considered by her as being potential date material and I’m not. :D … Advantage.

There are lots of dudes that aren’t worth a damn as people, but they happen to be rich… Advantage. There are lots of dudes that aren’t rich, but spend every dime from their paycheck on their car payments for their funky-fresh ride… Advantage. There are dudes that are broke as a joke, but every time they hook up with a gal, they ‘break her off something properly’ in the bedroom and put her to sleep… Advantage.

When you approach a gal and try to get the rap, you’re battling all the lines guys have already thrown at her.. money, trips, sex, compatability, understanding, care, love, whatever. It’s in your best interests to assume that whatever game you’re about to throw at her, she’s already heard it and way better.. from guys that were way more desperate and willing to offer her way more stuff to bag her.

If you’re planning to tell her that you’ll take her on a shopping spree if she gives it up, assume that the next man told her that he was going to give her $5,000 USD if she bent over for him.

If you’re planning to tell her that you’re gonna tap that for 45 minutes, assume the next man told her he was going to “make love to her all night”.

If you’re planning to brag about your fly SoHo apartment, assume the next man invited her to his suite in the Trump World Tower. Whether he lives there or not is of no consequence. Just assume that he TOLD HER he lives there.

Assuming your rap is the best she’s ever heard and is unique puts you in as bad a position as women who think their sex is the best their man has ever had and that it was unique. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz You’re sleepin’. It’s very easy for the next man to pull her from you because he’s trying harder than you are.

Same thing for y’all dudes that already have relationships. If you think your job is over once you bag her, you’re a fool. You need to keep doing the same stuff you did in order to pull her while y’all are in a committed relationship together. That includes going out on regular Date Nights. Don’t stop taking her out. Don’t sit on the couch and get fat. Don’t stop acting like she’s special because you were only doing that to get her to say “I do” or to agree to exclusively have sex with you. Don’t stop complimenting her when she looks good tonight… Once you commit to that stuff, you need to stay on top of your game because if your girl’s still looking good, the next man’s gonna be doing for her what you’re not doing and you might just get peeled and get left wondering WTF just happened.

Assume you’re the underdog. Assume you’re the worst guy she knows and you have to work your way up from the bottom. Assume that everyone before you offered her something better and everyone that meets her after you is going to try their damnedest to get her from you and have her for themselves. Act As If pulling her is really important to you. Act As If you’ve decided that this woman is the one you want to bear your children and raise your family.

At the same time, recognize that most of your competition is asleep. >:D .. If there’s a guy taller than you, you’re smarter than he is. If he’s stronger than you, you’re more romantic than he is. If he’s smarter than you, you’re in better shape than he is. If he’s richer, you’re cuter than he is. Never concede the matchup. Never.

There’s always something the next man isn’t doing that his woman is missing in her life. Figure out where he’s tryin’na fit the square peg in her round hole and then let her know why you fit better and she should cut that zero and get with this hero! >:D

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