Suddenly, thanks to Tiger Woods’s speech, there’s a new word being thrown around by the pundits: “Entitlement”.

The funniest thing about this is that you can tell that they have no idea what they’re talking about when they say the word.

I mean, they understand the definition of the word, but since it’s something they’ve never had in their entire lives, they speak about it as if it’s an alien concept or as if Tiger’s suffering from delusions of grandeur.

I also understand now why they keep trying to call guys sex addicts. For people that grew up without entitlement or never achieved it in their lives, the behaviors don’t make sense.

I will now attempt to clear this up.. though I don’t expect you to understand anything I’m about to write. :D

Food

I live in the United States of America. I live in New York City, the capital of the universe. It’s currently 1:47 AM or 0147 to you Europeans and I can go get food RIGHT. THIS. SECOND. I can stop typing and go get potato chips, beer, cooked food or sit down in a restaurant as if it were the bright daylight afternoon… Right Now. I could do it again at 3 am and again at 5 am. We have 24-hour restaurants here. 24-hour grocery stores. 24-hour cabs trying to pick us up and take us somewhere. 24-hour public buses and subways, though they run really infrequently at this time of night.

Because of this, food is nothing to me. It’s nothing because I can always get it. I mean, I *LIKE* food, haha.. I’m just saying that I’ve visited relatives that live in the sticks, and life isn’t so easy out there. The restaurants all close… EARLY. You can’t buy beer after a certain time of night.. midnight? If you get hungry in the middle of the night, you’re stuck with whatever you have stocked up in your house. You can’t go sit down for a freshly-prepared burger or slice of pizza.

(Yes.. I’m aware that there are worse situations like people that live here but are BROKE and can’t afford food, people that live in places where they just plain can’t GET food and are starving to death and people whose houses are currently rubble and they’re living outside in tents.)

If I were to say to someone that lives in the sticks that I’m heading out for a deluxe burger platter at 2 am, they might perceive me as bragging when I’m merely informing them of the facts of the situation. WHAT I say is going to make them feel that way and HOW I say it is going to make it even worse. I speak as if I’m “entitled” to what I have because I’m USED TO what I have. I can go to the store + I have money to spend = I am entitled to eat whatever’s available right now that I want and can afford.

I’m not going to sound like I have sympathy for people that live in the sticks, because I don’t. Not because I dislike them. I TOTALLY like them! :D It’s just that I have no point of reference other than visiting cousins for feeling what it’s like to live a deprived lifestyle. HAHAHA Now you’re mad that I called them “deprived” hahaha :D

Unfortunately, just the same way you can’t understand my life and will call me egotistical, arrogant, stuck up, full of myself, narcissistic and whatever else, I can’t understand YOUR life, which is why my blog posts end up written how they are. I’m trying to explain the inexplicable because unless you’re living the same lifestyle, we can’t honestly discuss it and get down to the nitty-gritty.

I would feel differently about life right now if I didn’t have 24-hour access to food, and I would carry myself differently and do things differently.

Business

The USA is currently in a recession. People are losing their jobs. People are going broke. I’m fully aware of this.

I am a freelancer. I have an unique skill set that keeps me in demand regardless of what happens with the economy.

In fact, the more people that get fired in the video editing industry, the more demand there is for freelancers because we’re better and faster than staffers AND once the project is over, you don’t pay us another dime. You have to pay staffers whether they’re working or not.. all. year. round.

Regardless of my technical understanding of what a recession is, I don’t actually know what it’s like to experience what millions of people are going through right now.

Actually, I don’t even know what it’s like to be a regular video editor, working for random people and answering ads on Craig’s List or whatever, trying to get paid. All the work I do is through word of mouth.. Referrals from clients who know the speed & quality of my work and that I always get the job done (I’ve “missed air” one time in history, back in the Bloomberg Information Television days, and that piece aired 20 minutes later).

Similar to the food issue, this is going to sound egotistical or arrogant when I’m merely stating provable facts. You can go call up the people that I’ve worked for and ask them who I am and how their experience was. You’ll get the same answer, across the board.

Also, if you were to hear me actually say something about the recession, what you’ll come away with is that I’m speaking of it as a concept, not something that adversely affects my lifestyle. Someone who’s actually lost a job or a home or whatever because of it will speak passionately about the recession because it’s not something they saw on television. It’s something that actually HAS happened to them and *IS* HAPPENING to them right now. I have complete sympathy for that situation, and I hope we get it together ASAP so people can return to prosperity, but without news programs and the internet, I wouldn’t personally be aware that anything’s wrong with the economy at all.

Women

I wanted to make the Food and Business points to illustrate that just because millions of people are living (or not-living) without food and millions of people are personally feeling the effects of the current recession, that doesn’t mean that EVERYONE’S experiencing those same things in their personal version of reality.

A friend of mine recently wrote “The truth does not matter. The only thing that matters is perception.” I’m sorry that she realized that because of a negative situation, but it’s entirely accurate. There is no ABSOLUTE. Even when millions of people agree on something, that doesn’t rule out anomalies. Two people can look at the exact same thing and “see” entirely different things.

One thing that millions of people agree about is that each guy deserves ONE girl, and vice versa. This makes sense for a lot of structural reasons, such as proving paternity. It’s really best that you’re in a simultaneously-monogamous relationship if you want to be sure that your kids are YOUR kids. I say “simultaneously” because there are lots of people that are in monogamous relationships with people that aren’t being monogamous with THEM. O_o

One Guy, One Girl (OGOG? haha) DOESN’T make any sense when women are attracted to you quickly and often. It’s even worse when you get used to that from an early age. I wouldn’t even call that feelings of “entitlement”, because it’s just the luck of the draw. It’s just the way life is. It’s like with money.. Some kids grow up rich and some kids grow up poor. The rich kids aren’t “entitled” to being rich, they’re just USED TO IT.. Being Rich is regular life to them and being poor is something they understand but can’t personally feel.

A homeboy of mine called me the other day and told me about how he met this chick and had sex with her within a few hours of the first time he ever saw her in life. I laughed along with the story and enjoyed the play-by-play, but I wasn’t like “THAT’S AMAZING!!! :O .. HOW DID YOU PULL *THAT* OFF??? :O” because it’s not amazing. It’s regular. No pun intended, but “it’s par for the course”! HAHAHA :D

It’s not SUPPOSED to take us a long time to hook up with chicks. We’re not SUPPOSED to have to date them and promise them stuff for them to want to spend time with us. It’s very simple. She’s interested in someone.. Whomever she’s interested in likes her too. Done deal.

Once again, this isn’t an issue of arrogance or even entitlement. It’s just an honest expression of the facts of lives that are similar to “Jersey Shore”, except we don’t go on vacation to meet chicks… It’s a daily operation.

Girlfriends & Wives

A couple of years ago, a friend asked me something about a girlfriend and I replied “I’m not authorized to have a girlfriend”. He laughed and asked “Authorized by whom?”, to which I said “Me!” :D

To tell a gal that you’re her boyfriend indicates that you’re willing to follow a set of rules that the two of you agree to. You should only agree to accepting rules if you intend to follow HER rules for YOUR life, which I do not.

Therefore, it’s disingenuous to lead someone on and Act As If they have some kind of control over your life when you know damned well that you’re going to do whatever you want whenever you want, and if she doesn’t like it, that’s too bad for her.

This is the main area where my personal way of being diverges from Mr Woods’ (Tiger, not Eric). Back in the day, when the reports started floating around the internet that he was going to get married, I said to everyone that brought it up “What For? \o/”.

I couldn’t understand why a guy that has everything going for him wanted to get married. Yeah, his girl was hawt.. we all saw the pictures, but dude was/is a young, famous, rich sports star, so hawt chicks are going to make themselves available to him everywhere he goes. Golf is an international sport, so he’s going to have his pick of women world-wide. The selection in NYC is GOOD ENOUGH.. I can’t imagine ACTUAL Italian chicks instead of Italian-Americans from Queens.. It’s like “Are you MAD?.. What’s the matter with you, getting married?”

Come to find out, five years later, Tiger had his cake and ate it too. Instead of going the route that *I* would have suggested and staying single until he actually FELT like being with just one chick, he went the Family route and the Playboy route at the same time.

In explaining this, he said he felt ENTITLED to the chicks he hooked up with, because he worked hard to be successful. He’s absolutely right about that. He *IS* entitled to all the chicks that are attracted to him as well as all the chicks he can afford. The only problem is that he swore on a stack of bibles that he wasn’t going to hook up with anyone but his wife after 2004 AD. What he was “entitled” to do after that was keep his word and not mess around behind her back.

On a lower level, the same thing applies to girlfriends. You’re promising them something and your word’s supposed to be valuable. If you can’t or won’t yield to personal restrictions on your way of being, stay single, do what you do and get in where you fit in.

To put that another way.. When the concept of being in an exclusive relationship means NOTHING to you and SOMETHING to the other person, the noble and “right” thing to do, as I see it, is to NOT tell them you’re on the same page with them when you know that you aren’t. Unfortunately, a guy would have to have superior confidence in his game to roll like that. Most guys aren’t willing to risk the loss, so they lie to the chick about what’s really going on and ride it out until they get caught.

Apologies & Solutions

I already said that I didn’t feel that Tiger Woods’ “apology” was genuine. To expand on that idea, how genuine can an apology be when you’re trying to explain your actual life away?

“I’m sorry I can go to a restaurant in the middle of the night and get cooked food”
“I’m sorry that I’m not adversely affected by the recession”
“I’m sorry that chicks like me and throw sex at me”
“I’m sorry that I live in New York City”
“I’m sorry that I meet new girls every single week of my life”

How are you supposed to make statements like that sound sincere? :D

Those are things people WANT you to feel sorry about because their lives don’t match up to your life. Those are things that people WANT you to feel odd about because millions of people don’t experience life the same way you do.

If I were in Africa (or Flint, Michigan) they would call me a Food Addict. What’s the matter with this guy? It’s 3 am and he’s asking us if we have a menu from a place that’s open right now and will deliver Philly Steak & Cheese sandwiches. :/

If people look at my photo sets between 2007 and 2010, they’ll say “That guy’s an alcoholic! :O” because I usually have a drink in my hand because I’m usually partying because that’s “how we do” in NYC.

If people look at Tiger Woods, they’ll say “That guy’s a sex addict” because he hooked up with 14 chicks in 5 years. *yawn* The conventional wisdom behind that is that people are ASSUMING that he ever intended to only have sex with his wife for the rest of his life and he “wasn’t able” to maintain that. Something MUST be wrong with him, right? He’s trying as hard as he can not to hook up with chicks that throw sex at him, but somehow, he just FAILS left and right and they’re going to fix him in sex rehab, right?

Wrong.

There’s nothing to fix. Tiger Woods is DIFFERENT. FROM. YOU. He is NOT. SIMILAR. TO. YOU. He has more opportunity than you. He knows what he’s doing and he’s been doing it. As far as you’re concerned, he’s a “strange” person acting regularly, but he needs to convince you that he’s a “regular” person acting strangely.

What actually needs to happen is Tiger needs to be taught how to throw away the life that he CAN live and HAS BEEN LIVING and exchange it for the life he opted into by getting married. Is there an actual reason why he shouldn’t hook up with whomever he likes whenever he likes? Nope. Had he not gotten married, he’d be a playboy like Derek Jeter, Alex Rodriguez, Charlie Sheen and like a million other dudes that do whatever they want when it comes to chicks.

Since he DID get married, and he’s not willing to give up the chick, kids & cash, he’s going to have to learn how to play that role. He’s going to have to learn how to live a lesser life than he could personally achieve on the strength of his success, wealth & fame. It’s like having a million dollars but having agreed to live in a log cabin. You can AFFORD a mansion, but you already agreed not to live in it.

THAT’S the issue.. *NOT* Sexual Addiction, but living an entirely different lifestyle that’s been deemed deviant since the masses can’t live that way and don’t want to believe it’s normal life for some people.

Unfortunately, that exact same society won’t allow a guy to stand at a podium and say “I get more girls than you. I get better girls than you. I could have YOUR girl if I wanted her. I’m richer than you. I own more property than you. I’m a superstar. I’m a sports hero. I’m Living The American Dream!” and still consider him a role model, so you cop a plea. “I’m just like you. I value the concept of marriage. I’m religious. I have no idea why I screwed all those waitresses, but these doctors that have probably pulled five chicks in their entire lives are going to fix me. I’m very sorry… Not because I got caught, but because….. okay.. because I got caught. I realize that I could have checked myself into sex rehab in 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008 or 2009, except my wife hadn’t found out yet, so **** that. Trust & Believe that I’m going to channel my newfound sexual frustration into kicking all of y’all’s asses on the PGA Tour in 2011. Thank You and Good Night.”

Related Posts

• Buying Women
• It’s All In The Game (Online Dating)
• Fear of Commitment
• How To Cheat… Properly!
• Does He Trust You? [RW:DC, Part 03]

A reader asked me a question to the effect of whether guys expect sex on the fourth date. I thought this was very interesting because I hadn’t ever considered the concept before. Offhand, I would say “No. Sex is Not expected on the fourth date”.
 
Sex is expected immediately.

What He’s Thinking

The only reason he spoke to you in the first place was that he thought you were attractive. Similar to not renting a porno movie and waiting three weeks to watch it, he would like to hook up with you BEFORE he introduces himself to you. By the time you become aware of him, he’s already mentally done the deed a few times while he was figuring out what he was going to say to you to get the show on the road.

The number of dates makes no difference. It’s basically True or False. 1 or 0. Yes or No. She gave it up or she didn’t. \o/ So, for instance, a sequence involving sex on the fourth date would look like 0001. Sex on the third date would look like 0010, etc.

The guy is striving for 1111 and there’s really nothing more to say on that topic. :D

What She’s Thinking

Regardless of whether she likes the guy or not, the average gal on the scene is striving not to look like a ho. At some point in history, the Worldwide Queen Of All Women handed down the decree that the magic number for holding out that qualifies a gal as “not a ho” is three (3) dates. Therefore, observing strict adherence to the Women’s Handbook requires a gal to go 000 on her first three encounters with a guy so she will be beyond reproach if she decides to give it up after that.

Thus, the genesis of the question “Is Sex Expected On The Fourth Date?”. What’s going to happen if a chick goes 0000? What about 0000000000?

We See You Coming

Unfortunately for women, men already know what you’re doing. Some guys are willing to wait it out while y’all play games with yourselves. *yawn* Sooner or later, you’ll let yourself do what you wanted to do the first day we kicked it to you and then it’s Game On! :D

One of the failures of the three-date-abstinence rule is that no timetable was handed down regarding space between dates. This means that you can take a chick out three times during the week and still hit it on Saturday, just the way you planned it. It’s not like you only see her ON Saturdays, which would mean that it would take you an entire month to get on.

Another failure is that sometimes, holding out makes a guy MORE likely to hit it & quit it instead of LESS likely. Going out with you and not demanding sex might mean he’s willing to date you ad infinitum without hooking up. It could also mean that he’s got other chicks to kick it with while he waits for you to come around. This is one of the main reasons why I say that sex isn’t expected on the fourth date.

Never. Say. “Never!” ;)

Guys know that BEFORE the fourth date, chicks are gonna kick themselves for giving it up, so date #4 is really the first time they’re spending authentically uninhibited time with them. Assuming the guy hasn’t bailed already, if he’s waited out three dates, there’s no reason he wouldn’t wait out four dates or six or twelve.

You have to consider the reason why she’s dating you in the first place…

She’s going through her usual process to determine whether she wants to give you some or not. If she wins the game and you become her boyfriend, she automatically inherits responsibility for your sexual satisfaction.

It’s not like she’s NEVER going to give it up.. She just wants to feel like it’s a good probability that she’s going to get what SHE wants out of the relationship before getting down with the program.

So.. Date #4 isn’t any sort of significant milestone for a guy. It’s still a 1 or a 0. He gets on or he doesn’t. It’s not like a guy’s gonna say “Tarnation! :/ I took her out all four times like I was supposed to and she STILL didn’t give it up? I’m OUTTA HERE!” :D

If a guy likes you as a person, he’ll hang out with you whether he’s getting on or not. If he doesn’t like you as a person, giving him some most likely won’t change how he feels AT ALL. If you seem sincere in not wanting to have sex with him, most guys will be cool with that too.. Assuming, of course, you’re not the only gal he’s dating. :D

Related Posts

• How To Pretend To Listen (Cricket Status)
• Ladies: How To Get To Know Your Boyfriend
• Ladies: How To Get Over Your Ex-Boyfriend
• Why Women Are Better Liars Than Men
• Video Games & Dating, Part 01

One of my most popular posts is 2008’s “How To Break Up With Your Girl”. It seems like every single day, somebody wants to know how to break up with a girl….

***** SPOILER ALERT for Real World: DC ***** If you don’t want to know what happened last night, stop reading now! :D

*
*
*
*
*
*

Being a professional at getting rid of chicks while maximizing their potential to feel good about it, I was sitting there like :O watching Josh dump his girlfriend on RW:DC last night. It was horrific. It was brutal.

I know how brutal it was because I did just about the exact same thing back in the day.

Cheating & Valor

Personally, I’m not a “cheater”. I put that in quotes because I don’t believe in cheating. I believe in Free Will. I’m going to do whatever I feel like doing whenever I feel like doing it regardless of what I say to some chick.

Being that I understand this about myself, the issue is circumvented by never committing to one chick. If you don’t tell one person that you’re in a committed relationship with them, you don’t have to extricate yourself from the relationship on the fly when something else comes up that you want to do.

Whomever you’re dating deserves that much, at least. They deserve more than on some regular day, they get a phone call from their boyfriend telling them that it’s over and that’s that. I’ve done it. I didn’t like “having” to do it. I wasn’t happy about it. I’m not proud about it. I wish I could have thought up a better way to deal with the situation, but I was like 19 and that’s all I had in my arsenal at the time.

The reason I brought up not being a cheater is because it’s an issue of valor and strength. If you make a verbal commitment to someone that you and she are in an exclusive relationship, you need to keep your word… not to HER, but to YOURSELF.

That’s like telling someone you’re going to work for them and then not showing up. That’s like having someone work for you and then not paying them. That’s like having kids with a chick and not supporting them. It’s an issue of valor. How are you supposed to look at yourself in the mirror, knowing that you’re a weak Human Being and a pathetic excuse for a male of the species?

So, besides the fact that I don’t believe in the concept at all, that’s why I’m not a cheater. When I say something, it means something.. To *ME* and to other people. I wouldn’t be happy with myself, telling some chick “You’re my girlfriend, and I love you” on the phone and then picking up chicks at the bar left and right.

This is how I ended up in the Josh-esque situation of having to dump a chick out of the blue over the phone. I wasn’t in the process of hooking up, because that’s not something I would have done BEFORE breaking up with the chick, but I could feel it coming… I knew damned well that if I had been in the moment, the moment would have occurred. I wouldn’t have stopped the action to have some sort of philosophical conversation with the girlfriend that I had already decided wasn’t my girlfriend anymore, so I did what I considered to be the right thing and dumped her BEFORE something happened. It was still ****** up, but it was the best solution I could come up with at the time.

Double Standards

So Josh’s chick heads for the bathroom and Josh heads for the phone. I’m hoping and praying that he’s going to do the right thing and fall on his sword, taking the entire heat for the situation, but I don’t figure that’s what’s going to happen.

From the way they’ve edited the show, it doesn’t appear that Josh has the capability to have an actual “girlfriend”. He said something a few episodes back about how he was homeless and she let him live with her or something. I’m sure he said a bunch of other good stuff about her that they edited out in order to develop his character in a particular direction, but it’s clear that dude thrives off of attention. It’s clear that he’s not the “No. I have a girlfriend” type of dude.

The funny part about all this is that a few episodes back, when he heard that HIS GIRLFRIEND might have been creeping around the way, this guy starts BITCHING AND MOANING about it to her, like as if they’re in some kind of important relationship. This is a fantastic and obvious case study of a double standard. “Cheat on me and I’ll flip my wig!!! :O .. Meanwhile, I’ll cheat on you and if you find out about it, I’ll break up with you because I already have another ***** anyway. Peace! :D”

I Kissed A Girl

So Josh starts off decently with sounding somber and like he might have been crying recently. That was good because you don’t want to break up with a chick like blah blah Peace! You want to seem as if you give a damn.. Assuming you’re interested in her mental health, well being and physical safety. You want it to seem like this decision is tough on you, when, in reality, the chick you’re about to bang is in the bathroom and you took this opportunity to absolve yourself from the guilt of having to tell your girlfriend that you hooked up AFTER THE FACT.

The first “OOF!” moment came when he finally started breaking down what was going on. He goes “I kissed somebody”. :/ I was like “Come. On. Player.. YOU *KNOW* that’s not what it is! :D Jeez. That was the MAJOR cop-out, because a) he had made out with chicks on camera BEFORE that night, and b) he was completely understating his level of involvement with tonight’s chick.

I understood why he did it. The intention was proper. He knew that HER reaction to hearing that he kissed a chick was going to be breaking up with him, which absolved him from guilt for hooking up with the chick he had waiting for him to finish yakking on the phone so they could do this, like Brutus and we always knew this.

The execution was *****. Straight up. You know what you’re about to do. Let your girl down properly if you’re going to do it at all. If you just HAVE TO BE THAT WEASEL whose word doesn’t mean jack-**** then let her know the real deal. Don’t make her feel like there’s a chance at reviving the exclusivity of the relationship by acting like you kissed a chick and came home solo and were about to go to sleep. :/

Having said all that, I’m aware that these are edited shows, and as an editor, I could have made Josh look as valiant or as creepy as the producers wanted him to look, so it’s entirely possible that they deleted the parts where he explained that he was about to screw the chick he kissed tonight as soon as he got off the phone with his girlfriend… I just completely DOUBT that that’s what happened.

Woman-Speak

Josh then proceeds to talk too much and say that he kissed a girl that he’s been “seeing a couple of times”. :/ BUZZZZZZZZZZZZ.. Wrong Answer!

This is where the whole situation dove downhill. Most guys don’t understand woman-speak. Women will tell you the amount that they’re COMFORTABLE telling you. Unless you’re tight with them (which means, by default, that you’re not dating them), they’re not going to tell you what ACTUALLY happened. They already know this about themselves. This is why when you tell women about something YOU did, they automatically escalate what you said a couple of levels.

If a chick you’re not tight with tells you that she went out with a dude, she may very well have ****** his ****. If she tells you she did that, she probably screwed him. If she tells you nothing at all happened, she probably made out with him. This is the logic they apply to what YOU tell THEM.

So, for Josh to say he kissed someone, she’s going to assume he did way more than kissing. For Josh to nail his own coffin shut by saying “This promoter that I’ve been… seeing a couple of times”, he’s admitting that a) he can’t be trusted around women that are supposedly platonic business friends of his, and b) that he’s been actively pursuing this chick that he supposedly ‘just’ kissed while he was in a committed relationship to his girlfriend.

Play “Taps”. The Fat Lady is singing.

I’m Only A Man

So then he tries to weasel his way out of the situation by saying “I’ve tried my hardest.. I can’t stand to hurt you anymore”. This is where I started to get disgusted. He wasn’t “hurting” his girlfriend because he had been HIDING his behavior this whole time. This phone call wasn’t to relieve her of some kind of current pain she was in. Josh knew he was about to get pizaid and he didn’t feel like a) admitting it after the fact and making himself look like more of a crumb, or b) having the chicks in the house spill the beans to his girl, which would have been even worse.

Of course, his girl starts going berserk, as if that matters. “How Could You Do This? blah blah blah”. Nobody cares. This is the guilt-absolution conversation, not the “let’s talk about this” conversation. This is the “I have a ***** waiting for me in the bathroom” conversation.

So just when I thought the situation had hit rock bottom as far as Josh not taking responsibility for his own desires COUGHtigerCOUGH, she aks him why he did it and he goes “I can’t help myself… I’m only a man, and I can’t help myself. I don’t know what else to tell you”.

……

No. Sorry, Dude. :/ If you want to bring the word “man” into this, you need to say “I’m a man, and I do THE **** what I want to do, including ******* this chick that’s waiting for me to finish dumping you right now”.

This is the end result of women running all over creation screaming “MEN ARE DOGS!!!”. Guys have now adopted this as their ‘out’ in all situations. “What did you expect me to do? I’m only a man. :(“. What’s your point, dude? There are only two options.. Male and Female. You’re saying that all guys cheat? Maybe you’re saying that you’re a sex addict? O_o

UGH! I was so disgusted. Just admit that you’re with a chick that you feel like banging right now, regardless of the fact that you have a girlfriend and you just plain don’t care enough about what your girl says, thinks or feels about what you do with YOUR life and YOUR body.

This is where the term “Man Up” originates from. It means BE. A. STRONG. PERSON!.. It doesn’t mean to hide behind stereotypes to explain away your DELIBERATE actions as some kind of mental or especially gender-based weakness.

Disheartening?… Enlightening?

So anyway, Josh ripped his girlfriend’s heart out, then went to get laid.

I think this is a really important episode for women to watch, even though, as I’ve said, it’s clearly edited and probably doesn’t show the entirety of the conversations and Josh’s behaviors so we don’t really have a full picture of what actually happened.

I think this is a CLEAR case of a guy that’s down to have as many chicks as he can have, and he’s willing to be a weasel to get them. Whatever they need to hear, that’s what he’s going to tell them to get them to lay down. That’s not unique. He’s not an anomaly. He’s not an exception to a rule.

What I would like women to go watch is how a guy can get on the phone with you, yak about whatever, tell you he loves you and then get back into bed with the next chick and pick up where he left off. I would like y’all to watch how a guy could have his girlfriend travel to see him, spend time with him, hook up with him and as soon as she breaks out, he’s hooking up with the next chick.

I’m not making this stuff up myself. :) Reader “Marie” called my posts disheartening. That may very well be the case, but I see things from a different perspective. These people with their happy-go-lucky dating blogs are only telling you half of the story… and it’s NOT the half that’s going to help you when YOU’RE the one that gets the “I’m dumping you” call (or text) out of the blue from the guy you thought you were in an exclusive relationship with.

“I’m only a man” might work on *YOU* and get you to go to your girlfriends yammering about how weak your now-ex-boyfriend’s mind is that he wasn’t able to resist the slightest “temptation”, but I guarantee you that same dude isn’t thinking about you AT ALL while he’s hooking up with the next chick, except for those brief moments in time where he thinks “Thank God I’m rid of what’shername” in between strokes.

Related Posts

• Does He Trust You? [RW:DC, Part 03]
• Bros Before Hoes? [RW:DC, Part 02]
• Why Women Are Better Liars Than Men
• Tiger Woods vs. Chris Brown
• Enabling Cheating In Relationships (Enough Is Enough)

What I affectionately refer to as “Revisionist History” may actually be more accurately called Historical Revisionism. There are actually two types, one which has a positive connotation and implies that intelligent people took another look at the data that’s currently available to them and came up with a valid interpretation of that data that differs from what’s been widely accepted about that event up until now. The second type is when people decide they don’t like how the past looks and decide to reinterptet it for their own benefit. The latter is what I want to talk about right now.

Time goes forward… Not BACKWARD. Things happen and then they move from the present into the past. Once they’re in the past, there’s no way for you to affect them, being that nobody’s created a time machine yet. If you tell a story ONE WAY at the time, and then turn around and tell a DIFFERENT STORY later on.. Assuming you had your wits about you when you told the story the first time, you are attempting to revise history. Here’s an example:

Back in the day….. (right, Frank?) I used to hang out with this chick that had a boyfriend and she would lie to him all the time about what she had done or where she had been for the last several hours while she wasn’t answering her phone. I didn’t think anything of this becuase that’s what people do when they’re in a relationship and they don’t want to suffer the consequences of their SO knowing who they really are.. They lie. Fine. I get that.

So this same chick tells me a story one day about where she had been on a particular evening when her boyfriend had been looking for her. The story was that her cell phone had run out of batteries and she had decided to walk home and it took her about an hour. This is what she told me and this is also what she told me she told her boyfriend.

Weeks or months later, her boyfriend does something she doesn’t like and then she tells me that on the night that she told him she had walked home, she was actually hanging out with other guys at a bar and having a good time. The reason this information came up was that NOW she felt vindictive and wanted to mentally feel like she was hurting her boyfriend. I say “mentally feel” because she never told HIM this version of the story. She only told ME so that she could feel like she was being defiant and get it out of her system so that she wouldn’t get dumped by this guy and then feel like a JERK when she got over it and wanted to be with him again….. Which, of course, is exactly what happened. She got over it.

Now.. I couldn’t give a damn what some chick tells her boyfriend. What I *DO* care about is that she decided to lie TO ME about it as well because she wanted sympathy at the time. He had been rather upset that he couldn’t find her and had SCREAMED on her and she was scared that he might dump her so she told me the same story she told him in order for me to assure her that walking home with a non-working phone wasn’t a dumping offense.

When you attempt to revise history, you erode your credibility. There’s no way around this. As long as there are people around who remember what really happened, you’re going to either look like a jerk who’s trying to pull the wool over people’s eyes or you’re going to look like you are currently EMBARRASSED about your past. Being that it’s the year 2009 as I write this and Social Media has been in full effect for quite some time now, there are a. whole. hell. of. a. lot. of. people. that watched your PRESENT in real-time. Whatever you posted at the time, that’s what people remember. There’s no way around THIS EITHER, other than never posting anything to the internet and ‘keeping your business out the street’.

Relationships

Relationships change. I know LOTS of people that used to date each other in ‘06, ‘07, ‘08 and even ‘09 that aren’t dating each other now. That’s not my problem.

Friendships change. I know lots of people that used to be friends and at the time of this writing, they are not. That’s not my problem either.

I have pictures with couples that are no longer couples and friends that are no longer friends. Regardless of how they feel about each other NOW, they don’t get to change MY history, which includes ALL OF US sharing good times together.

Regardless of what you say NOW (and you may very well have perfectly legitimate problems with your former SO or friend), y’all were rather happy with each other at the time and that’s the spirit in which the pictures were posed for, taken and posted. Up until you achieved a problem with the other person, you derived as much pleasure from the pics as I did, if not MORE.

What about The Kid?

Ethically, Morally or however you want to categorize it, I don’t get to have special privileges when it comes to revisionist history simply because it’s my camera. COULD I? Certainly. DO I? No. It’s all in the game. If you’re not going to play it the “right” way, don’t play it at all.

I currently have 1,887 Facebook friends, about 900 of whom I’ve hung out with at some point IRL. This means that every once in a while, someone I’m visually associated with is at least accused of and at most proven to have deviated from the norm.

Let me make this perfectly clear…

I. Will. Not. Adjust. My. History. To. Fit. How. You. Feel. About. The. Present.

If someone that I’ve spent time with falls out of favor with you, that’s YOUR PROBLEM and not mine. I don’t care. I’m not interested. You’re a grown-ass-man or grown-ass-woman so act like it and deal with your own problems.

If you decide that you don’t want to do business with me because I’m friends with someone who’s been accused of doing something stupid or has been PROVEN to have done something stupid, good for you. Between my own freelance work, Tribe Nine Creative, and a company I’m about to go on retainer to, I don’t have any more work-hours to assign to people that *WANT* to work with me, much less people that are concerned about who I hang out with or what it would mean to their company’s image to be associated with me, being that I’ve been visually associated with someone else whose internet presence they don’t like.

In fact, the whole concept is RETARDED because other than for television credits,

my name doesn’t even APPEAR on people’s video projects. The people in my Client List are there because I PUT them there. There are lots of companies I’ve worked for that are NOT listed, such as News Corporation / Fox News. So, if you don’t want to do business with me because of people I socialize with, enjoy that life. :)

Porno Chicks

In an attempt to see how it would feel to be embarrassed to be Facebook Friends with someone, I sent a friends request to this porno chick chick that I HEARD was a porno chick, hehe :) Fortunately, she declined my “friendship”! HAHAHA because I regretted it almost as soon as I pressed “send”. :D Facebook doesn’t have any facility for you to retract friendship requests, so, similar to pregnancy, I knew that once it was in there, there wasn’t much I could do about it.

I wanted to know how I would feel knowing people had some tangible evidence that I had associated myself with a porno chick. Pretty much, that was the only controversial-type person I could think of to add and since I know a few sex-bloggers, I actually have mutual friends with her. It was a weird feeling. I’m not sure it was sustainable. On the one hand, it’s clear that it’s not YOU that’s being a freakazoid and on camera, to boot. On the other hand, being “friends” with this person implies some sort of endorsement of her lifestyle. That shouldn’t be a connection that’s made, but it’s made all the time, whether people mention it transparently or on the back-channel.

I needed to go to this extent because being that I’m an independent person and not a drone, I’m not interested at all in what people do or get involved in that has nothing to do with me. I didn’t have anyone on my current roster of almost two thousand people that I felt like I might be able to say “Oh, that’s just the last straw!.. I can’t believe he/she did that! :O”. Meanwhile, I know chicks that are upset that I call chicks “chicks”. :D I just wanted to see how it felt to be SOOOO interested in someone else’s business that I would elect to terminate my social media contact with them because of something they did or said.. ESPECIALLY something they’ve been doing I was told that they’ve been doing for years.

AAAAAAAAAAND STAY OUT!!! :D

The bottom line is that media has now been removed from the hands of the newspapers and television stations and placed firmly in the hands of common folk. That chick pointing a phone in your direction on the subway is taking a picture or video of you. There are video cameras watching the streets and the sidewalks in front of places of business. People are shooting video with their smartphones or their video cameras or still cameras or even their iPods now. Your best bet, if you don’t want to be involved in the Social Media game is to STAY. OUT. OF. IT. ENTIRELY!

If you’re not the subject, you’re going to end up in the background of someone’s picture or video. It might be someone you know or someone you don’t. You might be tagged in the media and you might not. If you know damned well that you’re not supposed to go to a certain party, DON’T. GO. TO. THAT. PARTY. instead of going and HOPING you don’t get discovered. That ended in 2008.

Even if you don’t show up in images, you’re going to show up in text. Someone’s going to post your name on Twitter or mention that they were hanging out with you on Facebook and then Google’s going to pick up that mention of your name or your handle and you’re gonna get busted.

Even if they don’t type your name onto the net, they’re going to TELL PEOPLE who they hung out with at the party. Even if they don’t post a picture to the net, they’re going to show it to their friends. The only way for you to attempt to regulate your online presence is to hang out with people that don’t post media to the internet.

Same thing goes for relationships. If you think your relationship might EEEEEEEEVER break up and you might feel sour about that, don’t go all over creation in 2010 posing with your current girlfriend or boyfriend. Save yourself the anguish and keep your relationship(s) to yourself, stop announcing them on Facebook, stop making lovey-dovey videos that you’re going to have to tear down from the net as soon as y’all fall out of favor with each other. It’s way easier to deny information that was never published than to try to reel in media that people have been looking at for YEARS already and were privy to anyway because they were standing right there when y’all were very happily showing off your friendship or relationship by posing for pictures together.

Related Posts

• Is Sex Expected On The Fourth Date?
• Dating is like Asians on Television
• Why Women Are Better Liars Than Men
• Safe Sex Tutorial (Big Willie Pockets)
• Video Games & Dating, Part 01

I met this gal a couple of weeks ago who told me she could hear what other people think.

I don’t know enough about life to say that this is impossible, but I can say in her “defense” that *I* can feel what other people are feeling, which is one of the things that makes The Kid so effective with the ladies, heh heh :D so actually hearing things people aren’t saying isn’t so far off from detecting emotions from people that aren’t telling you how they’re feeling.

However, for the purpose of this article, let’s assume that’s an actual talent that your girlfriend had… HOW. MUCH. WOULD. THAT. *SUUUUUUUUCK*??? :D

Imagine That…

Fortunately, I didn’t have time to think about the concept WHILE I was talking to her. After the fact, I considered that when I talk to people, I give them edited versions of what I was thinking.. Edited to be more succinct or to make more sense.. Edited verbally, like changing the word “Chick” to “Woman” to get more points with the chick.. Deleted entirely…. But actually the worst part when I really thought about it was the time that SHE was talking and I appeared to be listening. O_o

I actually had a situation happen to me recently where I *WAS* listening AND paying attention, but it appeared like I wasn’t. :) My friend had been telling me about her relative and right after that story, I tell her something about myself, to which she replies: “Is *THAT* what you were thinking about while I was talking about my [relative]? :/” haha In fact, I had been paying full attention to her story but there was a background process running where I had been trying to remember some things I wanted to tell her but I had forgotten them. Right after the story, one of those came to me in a flash, and the speed with which I brought it up made it seem like I had been waiting for her to stop talking so I could talk about MYSELF! haha :D

But yeah, I was thinking about it after the fact when I met the “Hear what you’re thinking” chick woman and it would have been a complete disaster if she could have heard me thinking while she was talking. :D

Her: This is what I think about business…
Me: Damn, She’s cute! :D
Her: The town I grew up in was…
Me: Are her eyes grey or do they change depending on what she’s wearing? :D
Her: I just joined a gym…
Me: Damn!.. Six months in the gym, and I might be able to WORK with *THIS*!!! >:)
Her: I don’t eat meat
Me: A woman’s diet definitely affects the tas…… um y’all get the picture! :D

Meanwhile, I’m standing there nodding as usual, thinking I’m playing it off sweet and everything’s under the hat. :)

Verbal Transparency

This would CLEARLY be a disaster because you wouldn’t be able to craft her opinion of your opinion of her. If she says “Do I look fat in this dress?”, you would rather say “No, Honey.. You look fine” than “We might not even make it to the party, ’cause I’m tryin’na tap that right now!” or even worse, “Oh please GOD don’t let any of my homeboys come to this party so they can see how far I let my girl get out of shape! Please! Please!”.

It would also lead to shortened sexual experiences when she hears you thinking “Oh my.. What?… Who taught this girl how to.. DID *ANYBODY* teach this girl how to.. Oh my goodness.. What was that? A razor? :O.. MEDIC!!!”

I suppose this could be a good thing for the guys that are sincerely in love with their girlfriends. She could hear you saying “I love her so much! :)” and “I hope she’ll marry me someday” and “How did I ever get through life before I met her?” which would all be to your benefit. However, I can’t imagine that people are 100% transparent with what they say to their SOs and that they’d rather not have the stuff they don’t actually say attributed to them just because it’s a thought that ran through their minds.

I’ve attempted being verbally transparent with a couple of friends of mine and I personally find it to be ridiculous as well as useless, well, except for big laughs at my “expense” while I sound completely retarded because it’s something I never do. I would never TELL a woman what I thought of her. Thoughts inspire action and I do my talking with my hands. Verbally expressing how much I enjoy her positive outlook on life or how I think her hairstyle looks great or I love her ass just doesn’t move the relationship in any direction at all. I may as well have said “Pass the mustard”. I really may as well have said NOTHING and just done what I was gonna do from the giddyap.

Her: I’m ready to make love to you now
Me: Oh thank GOD!.. *FINALLY* I get to tap that azz!!! :D
Her: >:(
Me: *WHAT*??? :(

~ Bill Cammack | @BillCammack

Related Posts

• Buying Women
• Safe Sex Tutorial (Big Willie Pockets)
• How to NOT let your girl stress you out
• Ass Out, In The Garbage (Homegirl Epic Failure)
• Cutthroats (Too Much Confidence, Too Little Skill)