Bill Cammack

Today, May 06, 2009, is the eighth annual National Day to Prevent Teen Pregnancy. As the world-renowned DatingGenius (not to mention, the author of “How To Avoid Pregnancy” and “Don’t Try The Rhythm Method!”), I feel it’s my duty to inform you how to keep your kids out of the Teen Pregnancy zone.

Boredom -> Pregnancy

Teens are BORED. Teens have nothing to do with their time. GIVE your kids something to do, or they will FIND something to do. Enroll them in Karate or Piano Lessons or a Dance Company.

Make them play Football or Softball or SOMETHING! This way, they’re having fun, they’re spending their time learning things and achieving goals and hopefully, at the end of the day, they’ll be too tired from all that physical and mental exercise to have sex! Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: advice, attention, avoid, Bill Cammack, boredom, care, dating, DatingGenius, girls, love, money, National Day to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, pregnancy, relationship, teen

The other day, reader “Fishingrod” made a post suggestion:

“… In exchange for the new things to consider, maybe you could do me a favour some day and explain in one of your articles the benefit of having sex with almost complete strangers.”

I’m going to get around to that, and I’ve been thinking about that post ever since I read that request. In the meantime, I went out last night, and upon reflection, I think the situation’s actually worse than “just” wanting to have sex with almost complete strangers.

Tactical Observations

As we’ve discussed before, there are literally hundreds of thousands of women on the NYC dating scene. You can’t “throw a rock” without hitting a chick you might like to hook up with or that you might be ABLE to hook up with. Optimally, you’ll end up in a location where you like some chick and she likes you and y’all can mutually agree to have a good time together. If that’s not the case, then the likely scenario is that you see chicks that you’re physically attracted to that either aren’t interested in you or may actually actively dislike you as a person or at least dislike your presentation or what you’re bringing to the table. This is where “worse” comes in.

Lots of people would think that “She doesn’t like me as a person” or “She’s not physically attracted to me” would be a deterrent to guys. It’s actually merely a tactical observation. The goal remains the same… to “get on”. You’re not trying to make friends… You’re trying to get laid.

The reason I’m calling this “worse” than what Fishingrod was asking about is that in the scenario of meeting someone and messing with them within hours of ever seeing them in life, at least you can say that there was some kind of lust or mutual attraction that fueled the situation. If the chick’s not into you and you’re still interested in having sex with her, the motivation’s clearly one-sided desire-fulfillment.

Who Cares?

There’s nothing wrong with that in and of itself, however, as I think about it right now… I’m SURE that there are lasting psychological effects to consistently interacting with women that don’t like you. There’s a “So what?” mentality that one develops, in regards to what women think. She doesn’t like you? “So what?”. She doesn’t want to have sex with you? “So what?”. She likes somebody else? “So what?”. She says she’s a lesbian? “So what?”. The only thing that matters is whether she’s gonna give you some or she isn’t. Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: advice, alcohol, better, Bill Cammack, chicks, dating, DatingGenius, females, friends, gals, getting laid, girls, impersonal, NYC, relationship, women, worse

R&B Music (Rhythm & Blues) is a well-known and oft-utilized tool for getting women to do what you want them to do without putting in any work yourself.

Fantasy vs Reality

Lots of women have difficulty separating fantasy from reality. They’re also willing to make leaps of faith that defy logic and don’t make any sense whatsoever.

Justin Timberlake does not know you. You’ve never met him. He’s never thought about you a day in his life. He did not write that love song about YOU. It’s. Virtually. IMPOSSIBLE!

On the same tip.. Your boyfriend didn’t write that love song about you. He probably hasn’t written a song in his entire life. Prolly cain’t sing worth a damn anyway.

However… For some reason….. If your boyfriend can get you to listen to that R&B song, Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: advice, Bill Cammack, chicks, dating, DatingGenius, easy, effective, gals, girls, Music, R&B, relationship, slow jam tape, tool, women

The casting couch is a euphemism for a sociological phenomenon that involves the trading of sexual favors by an aspirant, apprentice employee, or subordinate to a superior, in return for entry into an occupation, or for other career advancement within an organization. The term “casting couch” originated in the motion picture industry, with specific reference to couches in the offices of casting agents that could be used for sexual activity between the agents and aspiring actresses. But it is now often used in reference to other industries besides entertainment.

Careers which are highly desirable and traditionally difficult to break into, such as the movie, television and music industries, have been the subject of casting couch stories in popular culture. Such trading of favors is an abuse of power, and can become a wider sex scandal if deemed newsworthy.

~Wikipedia

I am EXTREMELY TIRED of hearing from women about what’s supposed to be as opposed to what actually IS. Tired.

Maybe life SHOULD be fair… except it ISN’T. Attractive people get more stuff. Unattractive people get less stuff, unless they work insanely harder than attractive people to make up for the difference. Taller guys get women easier than shorter guys. Shapely women get guys easier than obese women. Rich people get better lawyers than poor people. Guilty rich people skate on charges while innocent poor people get convicted because their lawyers weren’t good enough to properly process the evidence and they couldn’t afford to call in expert witnesses. Women with kids don’t get to do what single women do. Deadbeat dads get their drivers’ licences revoked. Guys’ girls cheat on them and women’s men dump them after being engaged to them for three years…. LIFE. ISN’T. FAIR!

So, I don’t wanna hear it anymore about “Men don’t have to X” or “A man wouldn’t be asked to Y” when that has NOTHING to do with YOUR. LIFE. Pay close attention… If. You. Are. Not. A. Man, Then. Don’t. Worry. About. What. Your. Life. Would. Be. IF. You. HAD. BEEN. A. Man. And. In. This. Same. Predicament! Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: Bill Cammack, casting couch, chicks, DatingGenius, girls, rant, sexual harassment, take advantage, women, workplace

Tara Bahrampour posted an article in The Washington Post yesterday about guys who can’t buy girls any more due to the recession. BOO HOO HOO. Too Bad, So Sad. Easy Come, Easy Go. C’est La Vie.

See.. What happens when you rely on gimmicks to get raps is that when those gimmicks aren’t available to you anymore, you immediately revert back to Herb Status and your rap game is in the trash.

We’ve all had this happen to us on a temporary basis… You know, like that time you were like “I’m only going to the grocery store… No need to look savoir-faire”, and then you ran into the BANGIN’EST-LOOKING chick you’ve ever seen in your life near the Doritos and you’re like “OH. MY. *GOD*! Why didn’t I hook myself up before stepping outside???”

Now, that’s a temporary loss of confidence. As bad as that feels, try to imagine a PERMANENT loss of confidence as in you used to be “ballin’, shot callin’” and now you’re not. I already told y’all what to do if you already have a girlfriend, in “5 Ways To Keep Your Woman If You Get Laid Off”, but what happens if you thought you had it like that and you were still playing the field when you lost your job? WHOOPS!

Let’s check out some snippets from Tara’s article: Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: advice, Bill Cammack, dating, DatingGenius, girls, gold-digger, laid off, money, rap, relationship, skills, wallet, women

Let’s talk about women that like to play “Hard to get”.

While I was reading the comments on a blog post the other day, I came across an interesting passage:

Lucretia: There’s an old adage that says a man walks up to a woman and says “would you sleep with me?” and she looks offended and says “no!” and he says “okay, would you sleep with me for $1,000,000?” and she says “well, of course!” and he replies with “now that we’ve established what kind of woman you are, let’s talk price.”

Not only is this hilarious, but it illustrates EXACTLY the process that guys go through when they’re dealing with women they want to have sex with. Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: advice, Bill Cammack, body, buy, chicks, dating, DatingGenius, expensive, gals, girls, hard to get, pay, relationships, sell, shopping, women

Inititally, I wanted to make ONE post about The Maury Show, but I realized in discussing the concept with some of my lady friends that there are just too many topics to go over, so I’m going to have to make this a series.

Now, The Maury Show is very, very, VERY funny. It’s also sad, pathetic and depressing, but if you can get past the fact that these are real people on the stage, you can focus on laughing instead of crying.

This is not by luck or chance. It’s not an error. They don’t just HAPPEN to people involved in these weirdo circumstances by pot luck. It’s a setup…. It’s a setup, and the joke’s on YOU, Jack.

This series, “Maury Show Tips”, is going to help you help yourself just in case you end up on the show. Like all self-help situations, most of which end in “anonymous”, we have to begin with a basic premise that you will need to accept before you can absorb what I’m saying, understand it and utilize it in the near future. This basic, fundamental and ALL-IMPORTANT premise is:

You. Are. An. Idiot.

Now, this is very important. Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: Bill Cammack, chicks, clowns, dating, DatingGenius, dolts, dudes, gals, girls, guys, how to, idiots, imbeciles, low IQ, Maury, men, multiple guys, pregnancy, relationships, simpletons, supid, Television, The Maury Show, tips, women

This is not a continuation of “Online Dating Tactics”. This is a response to a BlogHer post by Zandria M, entitled “Dating: ‘Tis the Season”.

Zandria: I’ve heard that more breakups occur during the holiday season than any other time of year. [...snip...] The thing is, though, I haven’t seen a drop in the amount of people looking for dates online. In fact, I’m receiving more expressions of interest than I did when I first signed up over the summer.

hehehe Excellent read, Zandria. Let me tell you what’s going on.

You explained why you’re getting more expressions of interest now than you did over the summer. Guys are dumping their girls for the holiday season OR they’ve already DECIDED that they’re dumping their girls, so they’re trolling for more women ahead of time. It’s like being a freelancer in a work situation. As a video editor, I get MORE work when people get fired or companies downsize. You’re experiencing the same thing with online dating.

The reasons you gave were spot-on. Basically, the holiday season is an expensive time to have a girlfriend, so guys tend to break up permanently or at least until the season’s over and take their girls back in January.

Another reason is that there are a lot of holiday parties right now, with a lot of DRUNK WOMEN at them. That’s where you want to be, instead of stuck at some party with a chick you already know… or even WORSE, over @ her relatives’ crib! This is PRIME TIME for meeting women and starting new relationships. Also, if you start a new relationship NOW, it’s too early for her to expect an expensive gift from you.

Zandria: The thing is, though, the more dating you do, the more instances of “Did he really do/say that?” tend to emerge.

You need to catalogue those increasing instances of “Did he really do/say that?” that you’re experiencing, because those are brief glimpses into what a lot of guys are actually thinking. It’s really the little things that give people away.

Zandria: I have had several “interesting” experiences.

For one thing, a lot of guys seem to think they’re six feet tall. I’ve spoken to a number of women who back up this theory of Male Online Dating Height Exaggeration. Guys who really are tall — say, over 6’2” — tend not to lie. But if I see a profile that says the guy is 6’0”, I’m going to assume he’s at least an inch or two shorter than that. (If I’m 5’9” and wearing not-very-tall heels, and the dude is also wearing shoes, and we’re looking each other straight in the eye? I’m sorry, but you’re not six feet tall.)

As far as the “six feet tall” thing, hahaha Online dating sites are set up in categories. This is how women and men get to choose whom they see in their search results. If a guy honestly states that he’s 5′9″ and a lot of women check the box that says 6′ or over, he doesn’t show up in the search results and he doesn’t get that date. Or, in some cases, where the site does the matchup FOR you, he doesn’t make the “compatible” list, so, again… HE doesn’t get that date. Since the whole point of him being on the service is to meet women that he wants to date or have sex with or whatever, he wants to meet as many as possible, so he LIES and says he’s 6′ tall. It’s not that he doesn’t REALIZE that he’s not that tall hahahahaha. It’s not that he has delusions about his height. He’s merely tricking you into going out on a date with him, when he’s actually below your selected height requirement.

It’s all in the game.

Oh… and apply the same logic to his salary.

Zandria: Another thing: some guys need to be more up-front about important matters that affect possible future relationships before you take the time to meet them in person. I had this one guy wait until our first meeting before he asked me, “Did I tell you that I’m about to be deployed to Iraq for seven months?”

As far as guys being “more up-front about important matters that affect possible future relationships”, nobody’s thinking about “possible future relationships” until they meet you in person. The way it works is, guys get what they can get… NOW… and if it continues, fine. So, if dude’s about to leave town, he’s looking for something to do UNTIL he leaves town. Similar to the “not 6-feet-tall” guy, he’s not going to ruin his chance to try to get some or have a temporary girlfriend by letting you know he’s not physically available for a LTR.

Once he meets you, it’s a different story. He might feel like “this one’s a keeper” and THEN come clean about his current status and future plans. I guess I should have put ‘clean’ in quotes, because STDs are another thing guys (AND gals) don’t tend to mention on online dating sites.

Zandria: Then there are the things that just make me go “Hmm…” Like the guy who came across as really formal and straight-laced, but when I called him out on it (yes, I will call you out if it’s warranted) he assured me, “I do have a dark and twisted side.”

As far as dudes announcing that they “have a dark and twisted side”, that normally means that they don’t, but they’d be willing to make one up so as to not get rejected for being boring. Also, “dark and twisted” is relative to his own experience. I know women who think doggie-style is dark and twisted, hahahaha The point is that guys are going to SAY whatever they have to say in order to stay on track to hooking up with you. If they’re wackos, they’re going to say they’re not. If they’re boring, they’re going to say they’re not.

If you want to know if a guy’s “twisted” for real, look in his eyes and then ask him what he wants to do to you.

So, yeah, that’s “how we do”. Lie as much as you need to in online dating so you get a chance to run your IRL game on her. Best-case scenario, the 5′9″ broke-as-a-joke, unemotionally available, boring dude gains the physical company of a female he finds attractive for one or more evenings. Worst-case scenario, she walks out the door as soon as she sees you, because you’re not what she wanted… except that’s the same outcome as if you hadn’t lied on your application in the first place and she never chose you, so who cares?

It’s all in the game.

~Bill

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Tags: bf, Bill Cammack, boyfriend, boys, breakup, chicks, dating, DatingGenius, gals, game, gf, girlfriend, girls, guys, height, holiday, it's all in the game, lies, LTR, married, men, money, online, online dating, relating, salary, women

Women have to look good and men don’t. Period. If you don’t believe me, look around. This is because men and women have (for the most part) entirely different criteria for selecting someone to pair-bond with.

Men use their EYES to select women. This is why attractive women get more dates and get more drinks bought for them than unattractive women. Of course, unattractive women have more sex, for the reasons I already outlined, but that has nothing to do with relationships.

Women, in the meantime, select men by how they feel around them. This is why men don’t have to be attractive. You can be as ugly as you want to be or completely out of shape and still be nice to her and respectful and loving and caring and thoughtful and end up getting the rap to a woman over way more physically attractive guys. There are lots of Fabio-types that can’t hold a woman for ISH because their personalities just suck and they have the empathy of a plastic rock. Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: attrative, Bill Cammack, chicks, dating, DatingGenius, females, gals, girls, guys, men, relating, relationships, women

Last week, I was discussing the dating scene in New York City with my friend Ilana Arazie does a fun and interesting video blog about dating called “Downtown Diaries”.

I realized after that conversation that I haven’t gone far enough in-depth with my “numbers” theory… about the difference that it makes for a guy to be surrounded by literally MILLIONS of women vs living in the sticks, where you don’t have a lot of women to begin with, they get married earlier, stay married and nobody wants to move there for business opportunities or visit there as a tourist.

This exchange from a James Bond movie reminded me of the clarification that I wanted to make:

Vesper Lynd: Now… Having just met you, I wouldn’t go as far as calling you a cold-hearted bastard
James Bond: No… Of course not…
Vesper Lynd: But it wouldn’t be a stretch to imagine.. You see women as disposable pleasures rather than meaningful pursuits.
~Casino Royale

Now, I’m not comparing The Kid to James Bond AT.ALL, but I felt that line was pertinent because I’ve said stuff like “Women have no leverage in this town, because they’re expendable merely by available numbers”. Without context, that can appear to be a “use it and lose it”, “hit it and quit it” or “love ‘em & leave ‘em” type statement as opposed to an honest explanation of why tactics that work for women in other parts of the country don’t work here.

The point I really wanted to make (except it’s so OBVIOUS to me that I couldn’t grasp it to express it in print) is that here in New York City, instead of trying to CHANGE A WOMAN, it’s much easier to CHANGE WOMEN. Just switch. If you detect an incompatibility, stop spending time with that chick and get a new one to fill her slot. Or, if you were already “dating” several chicks, distribute her time amongst the rest of them. This is why women don’t have any leverage. There are too many lonely women wandering aimlessly around this town with nothing to do with their lives except go to work. They’re just as attractive as you are. Just as intelligent as you are. Make the same amount of money that you do. Dress as well as you do. They’re just as sexy & sensual as you are….. BUT! …

You think you should date for a bunch of weeks before messing with a guy and she’s down with it right now
You want to get engaged or married and she doesn’t care or at least doesn’t bring it up
You want him to get a job and she’s willing to feed him and buy him clothes
You don’t want to cook, and she enjoys cooking for her man
You want him to come to the opera with you and she likes sitting with him watching football on Sundays

So that’s the problem for women in NYC. There’s no reason to barter with you. No reason to compromise with you. No reason to succumb to sexual embargo tactics. No reason to “escalate” any form of relationship with you. New York City attracts the top women in the world for career, business or tourism. You’re not surrounded by a bunch of lesser women, like if you were the valedictorian in the sticks. If your “relationship” hits an impasse, it’s easier to drop it and get a new chick than to “work it out”.

Meanwhile, the exact same thing is going on for women with men. There are so many men in NYC that there’s no reason for a woman to commit to one that she doesn’t think is really GREAT for her. This naturally leads to women being single more often than they’re “in a relationship” because they’re busy being choosy. Even the ones who claim to be “seeing someone” are only in the stages of DECIDING whether they want to stay with that guy. Well… that, or she was LYING so you’d stop trying to get some from her.

The reason this doesn’t work out evenly is that men and women don’t date evenly. Women like to date guys better than them, while guys like to date women they’re attracted to. When was the last time you heard a guy say “She’s really HOT, but she doesn’t make enough money for me to date her”? That’s right. Never. Meanwhile, the women who came to NYC to make moves and build careers and have “the finer things in life” are looking for guys on their level or better. How many male executives date secretaries levels below them? Like he’s the boss of the boss of HER boss? When was the last time you heard of a female executive “dating down”? That’s right. Never. If you do, it’s a big scandal hahaha So, the better a woman does for herself, if she follows what society tells her to do, the smaller her potential dating pool is. Meanwhile, the better a GUY does for himself, the LARGER his potential dating pool is.

Because there’s so much choice on both sides, women tend to have a lot of BRIEF relationships in NYC. Now they’re dating someone, now they’re single. Poof. Just like that. Every day, someone’s updating their Facebook status to single or “it’s complicated” or “in a relationship”. That means that every day, the playing field changes. Women that were formerly “unavailable” have now become available. Women that were previously “spoken for” are now free agents. This happens all the time. There’s no reason to believe that because a chick’s dating someone right now, they won’t be back in the dating population a few months from now.

This is why New York City is the quintessential smorgasbord when it comes to women. There are more women of all different sizes, shapes, types, colors, backgrounds, religions, ideologies, whatever than a guy can possibly process in a single day… Meaning you meet women here faster than you can determine that the woman you met just before isn’t the best one for you. This has nothing to do with lack of discipline or morals and has everything to do with abundance of opportunity and selection. It has nothing to do with being greedy or wanting to try out every attractive woman in sight and has everything to do with the fact that as fantastic as a woman might be, there’s another woman on the next block or in the next neighborhood or office building that’s JUST AS FANTASTIC, but WITHOUT the character flaw that a guy would either have to live with or fix if he were dating the same woman in the sticks.

Actually, the best advice I have for women trying to corral a guy in NYC is to make sure they’re dating someone that’s not FROM NYC. Just because a guy lives here now doesn’t mean that this culture of opportunity’s permeated his thought processes yet. Find a guy that just moved here and get in good with him before he realizes where he is!

Are there a bunch of guys that see women as disposable pleasures? Sure. But that’s completely different from knowing a bunch of fantastic women and having no reason to choose between any of them. It looks the same, but the former is the state of being disconnected and a user while the latter is having highly-valued connections with worthwhile women and the self-awareness that the only way you would choose ONE of them… is if you were willing to trade in ALL the rest of them…

~Bill

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Tags: Bill Cammack, chicks, dating, DatingGenius, disposable pleasures, gals, girls, manhattan, meaningful pursuits, New York City, numbers, NYC, relating, relationships, women