A friend told me a few weeks ago that she felt my blog posts were cynical. I wasn’t sure I agreed with her, so I looked up the actual definition, and I think she was exactly spot-on with her assessment.

I had taken cynical to mean “negative”, when, in fact, it actually means “aware of the possibilities and potential in a situation”. I’m definitely aware of these and I definitely apply my past experiences and the experiences that have been relayed to me by people whose word and judgement I trust to every situation I become involved in or aware of.

Cynical

1: captious, peevish
2: having or showing the attitude or temper of a cynic: as a: contemptuously distrustful of human nature and motives b: based on or reflecting a belief that human conduct is motivated primarily by self-interest.

I think the opposite of this would be to retardedly ignore what you learned from past experiences and go forward into your next relationship as if none of your prior experiences ever happened to you. Perhaps they were all flukes, and this time’s going to be that fairytale relationship that you were brainwashed to believe you were ever going to be a part of.

That’s all well and good, and I’m sure people that do this feel FANTASTIC until reality falls on them like the proverbial ton of bricks out of nowhere and then they say stuff like “How could he have cheated on me?” when she wasn’t giving it up on a regular basis. “How could she dump me?” when he was taking her for granted and treating her more like a maid than a girlfriend. So.. Yes.. The application of cynicism to dating is useful and intelligent, though sobering and potentially depressing.

A LOT OF PEOPLE would insist that cynicism has no place in dating, because how can you date someone you don’t trust? Um…. Because she’s FOYINE??? :D

Anyway… Here’s how it goes down for the cynic…

They’re Lying

Being that you naturally distrust people, there’s no reason to suspend this when you enter the dating scene. The foolish and oft-utilized technique is to suddenly apply trustworthiness to a person that declares to you “We’re going out now” or “We’re together now”. In fact, that person is no more trustworthy AFTER telling you that than they were BEFORE telling you that. This is especially true because you know they have ulterior motives in wanting to date you in the first place… you just haven’t figured out what those motives ARE yet.

If you don’t trust someone, you can’t take their word for…. well…… ANYTHING! :D This is going to seem weird at first, as you struggle to believe your so-called “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” merely because of principle. Get over it. What feels strange to you about taking their word for stuff is that you just plain don’t believe them anyway and you’re trying to convince YOURSELF that you do. Just stop it.

If they told you the truth, it wasn’t the WHOLE truth

It’s not like people think it’s fun to lie to other people.. They just feel like it’s advantageous for them in the short-term. I think it’s actually more accurate for me to say not that your SO is LYING to you so much as they’re IGNORING THE TRUTH in order to tell you whatever you need to hear to do what they want you to do. This is why the practicing cynic accepts what they say as an indicator of something that might be *NEAR* the truth, and then play the percentages.

For example.. Your SO tells you that he’s playing poker every Tuesday night. This is true. It’s also true that he plays poker alone with his other girlfriend every Tuesday night. This is the part he left out. So, when your nosey, can’t-mind-her-own-business girlfriend tells you she saw your man kiss some chick goodnight at such and such an address last Tuesday, the cynic isn’t limited by the thought “That’s impossible… He plays poker on Tuesdays”. The cynic’s mind remains open to the possibilities and potential of a situation.

Same thing happens when you ask your girl how many guys she messed with before you. It doesn’t matter and it’s none of your business, so you’re most likely to receive a direct lie or a doctored (falsified) number. She’s going to tell you whatever she wants you to hear so that she doesn’t seem like a liar for too few and she doesn’t seem like a “slut” for too many. This is called, sadly enough.. “Applying Social Lubricant”, because she’s making it easier for you to continue to date her by strategically lying to you or at least only telling you the part of the truth that makes her look good and furthers her current agenda.

Oh.. I get it now.

Cynics are extremely good at recognizing patterns and deviations from those patterns. This is because the cynic is ALWAYS looking for the REAL thing that’s going on, as opposed to what this untrustworthy-yet-insanely-attractive person they’re dating is trying to sell them. This is actually to the other person’s benefit in situations such as sex, where the cynic isn’t likely to believe you enjoyed it, even though you SAID you did… so they do it to you all over again, just to make sure! ;)

Lots of people overdo it with the cynicism though. They think they know more than they actually do and end up making up elaborate, unlikely scenarios in their minds. They get used to you coming home from work @ 5:45 every day, and then when you arrive at 6pm, they figure that you spent that MYSTERIOUS 15 MINUTES cheating on them. :/ Struggle against this pathetic scenario. Try to focus on *useful* patterns like how he only smokes after sex and when you first arrived at the party tonight… he was smoking.

Cynics on Cynics?

Should cynics date cynics? Absolutely! :D There’s a certain camaraderie to be found between two social mercenaries that don’t trust anybody, including each other or themselves. “What’d you do last night?” “Nothing. How about you?” “I was just chillin.” “Yeah, Right.” “Yeah, Right.” “See you next week!” “Have a good one! Don’t do anything *I* wouldn’t do!” “Whatever!”

It’s a lot of fun, because you get to guess what they actually did and you know they’re lying to you, at least by omission, and you’re doing the same thing to them, except it’s by agreement. It’s like two warring countries sitting down at a table to talk about peace, which is never going to happen, but you still admire each other’s abilities on the battlefield and you can relate to each other as people on opposite sides of the game, but that do the same things and utilize the same tactics.

Strangely enough, the cynic can derive a form of trust in his or her fellow cynic that can’t be found in an average person. The only thing you can trust about people is that they’re going to do what they want to do when they want to do it. Through consistent interaction with people who bend the rules in their favor, the cynic begins to understand the pattern of the boundaries of what you can expect from someone. This person would never cheat in a game of chess, because that defeats the purpose of attempting to defeat his opponent mentally and strategically… however, if you leave your girl laying around, it’s a wrap. Therefore, you never trust the other cynic COMPLETELY, but you learn what you CAN trust about them.

This is way better than dealing with most people, who don’t really understand who they are because they play the game by the rules and do what other people tell them to do instead of figuring out what they REALLY want to do with their lives. Middle-of-the-road people should be trusted THE LEAST, because when put in extreme situations, they don’t know how to handle them and end up doing things that even THEY consider “out of character”, when their character was never tested and assessed in the first place.

Cynics know who they are and they’re fighting to win for themselves and get what they can get out of you. There’s something honorable in their up-frontness about that, regardless of how devious they actually are.

Do Opposites Attract?

Should non-cynics date cynics? Nope. :) It’s gonna be a tough row to hoe, unless you’re an impeccably above-board person. Even when you DIDN’T do anything wrong, the cynic’s going to be looking for it. Even when you’re telling the truth, the cynic is only going to absorb a small percentage of it as “truth” and most of it as “possibility”.

The cynic will never hand over any form of control in the relationship to you, because they obviously know better than you do about things, because you’re not a cynic and therefore not as discerning and calculating as they are. The cynic will let you BELIEVE you have power, so long as your decisions remain within the boundaries of what they would have suggested anyway.

Just about the only good thing for you about dating a cynic is that once they’ve judged you and judged you and judged you and judged you and judged you and they determine that you’re A-OK, the cynic will really be there for you. So many people have been tested and failed MISERABLY, that once you pass, you will receive the perks reserved for the people who made the grade.

The only question becomes whether you’ll want to stick around that long to see if you qualify or whether you will have bounced a long time ago to date someone that’s willing to accept you as-is, at face value, and assume that you’re innocent until proven guilty, instead of the other way around.

~Bill

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Narcissism is a pattern of traits and behaviors which signify infatuation and obsession with one’s self to the exclusion of all others and the egotistic and ruthless pursuit of one’s gratification, dominance and ambition.

Now… I don’t know anyone like that,

but since it was so much fun writing “Dating for Misanthropes”, I thought I’d explain to the ladies what they can expect from dating a Narcissist.

First of all, let’s make the distinction… A misanthrope doesn’t like you… because you’re wack. period. No way around that. A narcissist, OTOH, probably likes you. He may very well even love you, like, he’s not just saying that to get you to lay down. The problem for YOU is that regardless of how much he loves you, he loves himself WAY MORE, always has and always will. :D

So, right off the bat, you’ll never be #1 with someone who “suffers” with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), because he’s ALREADY #1 to himself.

Probably the largest hurdle for women in dating narcissists is attempting to gain any form of CONTROL in the relationship. You can’t have any control, because nobody cares what you think. I don’t, and neither do I. :D Basically, you can’t create any leverage for yourself with a narcissist, because he can “take you or leave you”. He still has himself, so who cares if you’re around or not?

On top of that, other chicks want him anyway, so if you vacate your spot, you just make an opportunity for the next gal. C’est La Vie. Bon Voyage!… SSSSSSSSSSSSEEEYA! “Don’t let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya!”. “I don’t need em, I let the WELFARE feed em”….

Being that you never achieve leverage, you don’t really have any executive say in what a narcissist does. He listens to your requests and decides whether to grant them or not. If you’re going to a dinner party with your boring-ass girlfriends and their dates, you’re most likely going BY YOURSELF, unless you get some other guy to go with you. There’s no reason for the narcissist to be bored out of his mind for hours on end. There’s also no incentive for him to go to the dinner party in the first place. If he wanted to meet your girlfriends, he’d be dating THEM instead of YOU.

Basically, anything you come up with, if it’s not better than what he already had planned, you’re “short”. You want to go to the opera when the game’s on? Bring me back a program. Peace!

Pretty much, you’re an accessory to Mr. NPD. This is one of the reasons he’s going to stay on top of how you dress. First of all, if you don’t look good to him, he’s not going to spend time with you AT.ALL. He doesn’t actually NEED you, so your purpose is to be visually, mentally and sensually stimulating to him. Basically, hanging out WITH YOU has to be better than hanging out WITH HIMSELF, which is ALWAYS a good time, so you need to make sure you stay jiggy fresh, so he’s inclined to invite you to chill with him evAr again.

Second, the fact that he’s spending time with you is an indication of his taste in women. If he’s embarrassed to be seen with you, he’s either going to stop hanging out with you, or just make sure he’s never seen with you in public.

So, it’s in your best interest to look as HAWT as possible for your narcissist at all times… especially considering that looking good and having sex are the only things you’re required to do, I figure you can AT LEAST handle that much. :)

Now, it’s not all downsides to dating Mr. NPD…. For one thing, the narcissist believes he’s the bomb-diggity when it comes to sex, so he’s not going to be satisfied until YOU’RE satisfied. :) He’s highly invested in his personal belief that he can RAWK you, so if you do yourself the favor of not faking orgasms, he’s going to keep trying different stuff until he hits that spot. “Regular” dudes have no such interest in your completion, so… you get what you get, hahahaha.

Also, if the narcissist actually agrees to spend time with you, that means he really WANTS TO. This means that as long as you look good and are fun to spend time with, he’s going to show you the best time he can possibly figure out. “Regular” guys, you know how THEY do…. They go wherever their women TELL THEM, but then they sit around like bumps on the proverbial logs, because they didn’t want to be there in the first place, but were to pussy to say so.

Third, the fact that the narcissist spends time with you indicates that he really likes you (not as much as himself, but whaddaya want?). This means that he’ll be happy to introduce you to people and happy to take you anywhere he’s invited. Also, everyone else who knows how self-absorbed he is will be impressed that he chose you.

So there are some of the pros and cons of dating a narcissist. There’s a good writeup on MayoClinic.com about Narcissistic Personality Disorder that gives you technical information that you can use to determine whether you’re dating one, so you can decide whether you want to cease & desist or continue dating him. Symptoms include:

• Believing that you’re better than others
• Fantasizing about power, success and attractiveness
• Exaggerating your achievements or talents
• Expecting constant praise and admiration
• Believing that you’re special
• Failing to recognize other people’s emotions and feelings
• Expecting others to go along with your ideas and plans
• Taking advantage of others
• Expressing disdain for those you feel are inferior
• Being jealous of others
• Believing that others are jealous of you
• Trouble keeping healthy relationships
• Setting unrealistic goals
• Being easily hurt and rejected
• Having a fragile self-esteem
• Appearing as tough-minded or unemotional

Good Luck! :D

~Bill

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According to Webster’s, a misanthrope is a person who hates or distrusts humankind. Now… Just because you hate people in general, that doesn’t mean that you can’t date them, or that you shouldn’t. :D

Most likely, the reason you don’t like people isn’t because of the way they look, smell or taste… It’s probably that they say retarded things that get on your very last nerve. You’re gaining insight into their personalities or lack of education which increases the natural disdain that you had for them the first time you ever laid eyes on them.

All you need to do is follow The Kid‘s 5 tips for dating people you don’t actually like or have a shred of respect for, and you’ll be happily dating in no time! :D

1) Take your dates to the movies

In order for you to successfully date, you need to AVOID hearing what the other person has to say at all costs. The less you hear, the more you’re going to like her and the better your date will be. Invite her out to the movies. Tell her you’ll get the tickets, and to meet you right at the theater at the exact time that the movie’s scheduled to start. Oh… do this by text message or email so as to avoid any unnecessary yammering she might do which will cause you to bail out on the date. Also find out if she wants popcorn, soda, etc ahead of time, so you can stock up on those before she meets you.

When she gets there, kiss her “hello”, give her some random compliment, like about he eyes or her hair, give her her food and hurry into the theater before she can strike up a conversation. If she starts talking before you get down the hall, ask her if her popcorn has enough butter on it so she starts eating it.

You may have to suffer a bit through the commercials, but once the movie starts, you’re golden. Do the “Richie Cunningham” to get your arm around her, then relate to her for the next two hours via touch and eye contact. When she tries to actually say something, shush her, reminding her that you’re both listening to the movie… together!… then go back to touch and eye contact.

Also, make sure you informed her you’d have to skate (slang for “leave really quickly”) right after the movie, when you initially made plans with her. Credits roll. Kiss her good night. Tell her you had a great time and then break north with no delay.

2) Take your dates to loud places

I discovered this technique by accident. I was in a bar, speaking with someone and barely able to hear them. I guess the crowd got louder, because someone turned the music up, and I was no longer able to hear this person that I was right next to. My first instinct was to wait it out, figuring that I’d be able to understand them a few seconds later. That never happened. What DID happen was….. They kept talking as long as I kept looking at them and nodding! :D

This style is INVALUABLE for a misanthrope! All you have to do is take her to a place that you know plays loud music, like a dance club or a concert. It’s the best of both worlds. You can still utilize your touch and eye contact skillz that you perfected during your many movie theater dates, but you can’t hear a single word she’s saying! :D

Compound the effectiveness of this technique by imagining that she’s saying really intelligent and fascinating things that make you feel more love and respect for her by the minute.

Just as the concert’s ending or they’re turning on the lights in the club, tell her you have to skate, and break north with no delay.

3) Make sure your date is insanely physically attractive

Of course, this is your goal in ANY dating situation… but it’s extra-important for misanthropes. The better-looking she is, the more bullshit you’ll be able to tolerate.

Physically, this has something to do with chemicals released in your body when she’s around that keep you from doing stupid things, such as erasing her number or moving in the opposite direction of her present location. Mentally, it’s like Spike Lee said in “She’s Gotta Have It”:

“You don’t throw away a Rolls Royce because it has a dent in it”

On top of that (no pun intended), the better-looking she is, the more time you’ll spend having sex with her, which means the less time she’ll be talking. I mean, yeah, she’ll probably be bumbling and stammering like an idiot, but at least you’ll be able to convince yourself that the reason she can’t form proper English sentences right now is because you’re hittin’ that spot! :D

4) Make sure you use condoms

If there’s ONE THING a misanthrope hates more than dating a person they think is beneath them….. Is that a fair statement? Probably not. You can probably hate someone without thinking you’re better than they are… Weird… Anyway…..

If there’s ONE THING a misanthrope hates more than dating someone they think is beneath them… it’s accidentally having inferior kids with them. I mean, it’s one thing when someone with no connection to you AT ALL is a blithering idiot, but it’s like if her “dumb genes” happen to be dominant instead of your “smart genes”, you’re gonna be REAL SOUR for at least the next 18 years.

So, you know the drill… If you use these techniques to tolerate her long enough to have sex with her, don’t fumble on the 2-yard line! Wrap it up! No Glove, No Love!… NAH MEEN? :D

5) Learn to talk to yourself

A lot of your problem with people isn’t actually how stupid they are, but rather that you hold all your disdain in and you don’t have an outlet to share how retarded you think people are with someone who COMPLETELY understands what you’re telling them and feels the exact same way about it. This is why you need to become your own traveling commiseration companion:

You: Oh. My. *GOD*, that was the DUMBEST thing I’ve ever heard!
You: I know… she’s an idiot.
You: TELL me about it! DAMN!!!
You: Amazing, isn’t it?
You: omg! grr
You: Ah, well, what did you expect?
You: Yeah… You’re right. Forget it.

See how you calmed yourself down? Learn to do this when you feel yourself losing it, and you’ll be able to keep yourself in the game long enough to get to the good part! :D

~Bill

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If you enjoy anonymity, it used to be that the only people you had to worry about dating were actual celebrities. This was because THEY were the only ones showing up in the media. The paparazzi get paid to chase them all over creation, taking pictures of them, and then they’d end up on those dumb shows that come on after the news that scrape around for any gossip they can find about someone currently famous.

Social Media has advanced to the point where it’s not only the ACTUALLY famous that you have to look out for. There are people that are said to have micro-fame or are called “internet famous”. There are different levels of micro-fame, but the way SM works, the level doesn’t really make a difference. ALLLLLL you need is for one person to take a picture of you and place it on a site or in a feed that other people pay attention to, and you could end up in social bookmarks, reblogged, captioned… what-have-you.

In this case, the best defense is a good offense. You’re way better off controlling your own media from the giddyap than trying to chase it down after the fact. As an example (which has nothing to do with dating), I went to a party one time and out of the tons of pics I took with people, I took one with this chick I had never met before. There were lots of people taking pictures at the same party. After I posted mine, I got a sob-story email from her with some bullshit about how she didn’t want this guy she knew to know that she had been out partying. :/ She asked me to take it down and I did… *NOT* because I believed a word she said, but because all of my pics are with people that *WANT* to be in them with me. I didn’t need her up in the mix with that kind of attitude. :D

The obvious question is… “Why are you so stupid that you a) went partying when you weren’t “supposed to” and were risking getting caught? b) went to a party where probably one out of every four people there had a camera and was taking pictures? and c) didn’t say to people that were taking pictures that you needed not to be seen on the internet?” Actually, (c)’s irrelevant, because if you KNOW you’re not supposed to be out partying and you see cameras…… LEAVE!

So anyway, like I said, that particular situation had nothing to do with dating, but it’s clear to me that there are a lot of people that don’t realize the times we’re living in and that your ass might be tagged on Facebook before you wake up from the alcohol you drank last night. So for those people that don’t understand what time it is in the year 2008, here’s what you need to know in order to date the “Internet Famous”…..

1) Don’t do it

If you really enjoy your privacy, don’t date anyone “internet famous” AT ALL. :D Look for a like-minded person who’s TRYING to stay out of the limelight like you are. If you just CAN’T get over it and you’re sweating this micro-famous person so much that you just HAVE to try it, read on…

2) Don’t go ANYWHERE with them in public

Especially in a place like NYC, where we all use public transportation and/or walk, DO *NOT* go ANYWHERE out-of-doors with your internet-famous crush. There’s no telling who reads that person’s blog or knows what they look like and will be the first one to report the where, when and with-whom of sighting a micro-celebrity. The odds of noseyness increase exponentially if said micro-celeb has declared some form of relationship to someone via Social Media Status Updates. This leads to a wildfire spreading of your business, as people try to confirm with myriad other friends of theirs: “Isn’t whomever dating so-and-so?”.

3) Meet them everywhere

If you STILL insist on going out in public with this person, MEET them places. Don’t arrive at the places WITH them. People are easily psyched out by asynchronous arrivals and departures. Make sure you’re there before they are and you leave before they do, or vice versa. Make sure it’s a good 30 minutes before the second person makes moves from the location. You can always meet up at the cribbo later on. ;)

4) Hide in plain sight

It’s very funny how people attempt to play it off that they’re messing with other people and then they act so completely different towards that one person when they’re together in public. You may as well have a neon sign that says “We’re Dating”, with flashing lights and pointing arrows… Or maybe those T-Shirts that say “I’m with Stupid =>” “<= Stupid's with Me". :D

Instead, if you're supposedly single, Act As If. Hide in plain sight. The micro-celeb will need to understand and support your position. You're doing THEM a favor by dating them in the first place, so they need to hook you up with certain concessions that minimize the risk of people finding out that you're messing with them.

5) NEVER post relationship status updates

All you need to look like an idiot is for your status to go from “single” to “it’s complicated” to “in a relationship” and back to “single” every week. If that’s what’s really going on in your life, Keep. It. To. Yourself. :D Save all that status stuff for when it’s ACTUALLY real, not when you THINK it’s real. If you just HAVE TO post SOMETHING, keep some physical stickies next to your computer so that when you get that urge, you can physically write on it that you’re dating someone and stick it on your wall so you can look at it and admire it for a few days until you need to crumple it up and throw it in the trash.

6) Control yourself

Once in a blue, as I’m walking down the street and a guy’s walking towards me with his girl, when he detects me, he tightens up his grip on his girl… holds her hand tighter… puts his arm around her… something. It’s really funny. :D That’s a subconscious defensive reaction. In his mind, he feels the need to indicate more than he was already that he’s “with” this chick. It’s typical male territorial pissings, but the point is that he’s giving away the fact that he’s nervous about losing his rap to this chick. If his game were TIGHT, he could leave her alone with any number of dudes and not be worried that she’s gonna give it up.

Similarly, you need to play it cool and control yourself when you’re out in public with this internet-famous person you’re supposedly not dating. Fellaz… Do *NOT* eyeball people like “Why are they hugging MY girl? :( ” if you’re supposed to be dating her on the sneaks. Ladies… Do *NOT* find reasons to interrupt every single conversation your boyfriend’s having with other chicks unless you want to make yourself a prime suspect.

7) iChat is your friend……… sort of. :/

AIM/iChat, Skype, ooVoo, what-have-you are all brilliant alternatives to risking going out in public to communicate with your internet-famous crush. They all have video and audio capabilities on top of being able to text chat. Use these services to have fellowship, get your laugh on, figure out plans and timetables for the evening (see tip #3), veto clothing decisions, etc… Just keep it clean so Chris Hanson doesn’t invite you to sit down for a glass of lemonade. :(

The downside of iChat is… If YOUR video/audio icon stays ghosted for hours and so does your crush’s… you’re busted. :D

8) Make up a fake significant other

This actually works like a charm. :D People are basically simple-minded when it comes to relationships, so as long as they *know* you have a significant other floating around somewhere, they’ll blind themselves to the fact that you might be dating your internet-famous crush. Make sure this fictitious character lives far enough away from here never to show up at ANY scene events, evAr…. but close enough that you can hop on Metro North, LIRR or Amtrak for a couple of hours and visit them for the weekend. Make them affluent enough to live wherever they live, but NOT affluent enough to train it to NYC and party… evAr.

If the heat is on and the jig is about to be UP… Your FSO will suddenly get a promotion… causing them to move to Japan, and since you can’t/won’t learn Japanese, you’ve decided it’s in your best interest to let the relationship go. :(

Grieve for 1/3 of the time you were dating your FSO, make up a new one, rinse, repeat. :D

9) Enlist the help of others

You may not be able to carry off these tactics on your own. If this is the case, getting trustworthy people down with the program will help you immensely. If they are hanging out with you and the internet-famous person…. they will say they were only hanging out with you. If they were only hanging out with you… they will say they were hanging out with you and your FSO. They’ll make up stories and propagate them throughout their Social Media sphere of influence to corroborate whatever position you’ve decided to take. They will text you ahead of time not to show up together if there are unexpected Social Media people where you planned to hang out for the evening. Actually… Some people get paid to do this. They’re called Personal Assistants.

10) Don’t tell your internet-famous crush JACK!

Nothing… Nuth-Thang… NOTHING! :D This person has problems keeping THEIR OWN BUSINESS “out the street”, so you KNOW they’re gonna blab YOUR business all over creation! Save it. Don’t tell internet famous people you’re dating JACK that you wouldn’t post on your own blog. Don’t tell them anything you wouldn’t tell your Grandmother. Don’t tell them anything that you wouldn’t tell your next SO after you break up with them. Nuth-THANG!!! :D

So there’s your guide to dating the “internet famous”. This is 2008. People in Australia can find out what you did last night in NYC before you’ll be able to find the same media yourself and attempt to get yourself untagged. Your best bet is to take evasive action and enable preventative measures similar to those that I’ve outlined. Overall, your best bet is not to date ANYONE living this Social Media lifestyle if you’re not interested in being a part of it yourself.

Welcome to the show! :D

DatingGenius

…

EDIT: Bonus Tip! :D

I wasn’t thinking about this, but an excellent tip was passed to me just now, and I wanted to add it….

11) Get a hobby

Normally, being “internet famous” goes hand-in-hand with a lot of interesting things going on in that person’s life. Make sure that YOU have something that YOU’RE doing that can be a focal point for conversation as well. This is one of the reasons why actors date actresses and celebrities and entertainers tend to date each other as well. Each of them have interesting things to talk about from their side of the table. You don’t have to be doing “big thangs”… Just make sure you have SOMETHING going on so that you don’t always have to talk about your SO’s internet fame every time you get together.

As the contributor of this tip said:

Internet famous people get bored dating a “fan”.

DatingGenius
 
 

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Somehow, I ended up seeing this article by Richard Florida about the singles scene and it had this really interesting map on it, which got me thinking about supply & demand:

Fortunately for meeeeee, NYC happens to be THE PLACE TO BE with an excess of females to the tune of 210,820 more single women than men! :D

Sucks to be YOU if you live in Los Angeles, where the map indicates there are 89,459 more single men than women. Ah well… C’est La Vie! :D

This is one of the reasons why the stuff I talk about doesn’t apply to everyone. Life just isn’t fair! :D You can’t throw a rock in NYC without… well… you know what I mean… with numbers like that, there are literally tens of thousands of surplus GOOD-LOOKING chicks in this town. And that’s only the women that IDENTIFIED THEMSELVES as single.

So the supply of men here is short, so the demand by women is higher… Or, to think about that another way, there are too many women here for them to gain any leverage. This means that guys in New York get to “act the fool”, and for every woman that decides she’s not going to date you, there are like 3 more within eyeshot that are waiting to meet you as soon as this chick gets out of their way. :D

So… What can the ladies do to improve their chances at scoring a date in NYC?

1) Be a nice person. This isn’t Los Angeles. You’re not in demand. WE are! :D There’s no reason to play the stuck up role or try to ignore a brotha like he just asked you for change so he can get something to eat. If his presentation is proper, and he steps to you respectfully, consider at least acknowledging his presence. Yes… We know he’s trying to have sex with you regardless of what he says, but at least give the guy some credit for being a gentleman about it.

2) Have interesting things to say. A lot of women skate through life on their looks and are never required to be decent people or have a charming, intelligent personality. Separate yourself from the crowd by knowing something about something USEFUL… like football! :D Know something about the stock market or motorcycles or tech gadgets. Come up with SOMETHING so the guy sees you as someone cool and interesting and not just a target. Women are always complaining about being seen as “sex objects”. You know how to avoid that? Show him there’s more he can do with you or talk to you about than sex.

3) Eat when you go out to a restaurant. You know what I mean, too. Not just a salad when you’re sitting there staring at my cheeseburger, “hungry than a mug”. What you eat right now is NOT going to make you look any different. You’re not going to look slimmer with a piece of lettuce at the end of your fork or holding a stalk of celery. It’s already apparent that you like to “get your eat on”, so DO YOU! Go for what you know! Order more than your date does and scarf it down. Get that napkin, tap the corners of your lips and ask him what’s for dessert!

We know damned well that AS SOON AS y’all leave us, you scramble to the nearest restaurant to stuff your faces, so you’re better off keeping it REAL. He’ll respect you for that.

4) Be athletic. Yes, there are lots of guys that like women with no muscle tone. There are also guys that like athletic women. Why is that? Because you can actually DO THINGS WITH THEM! You know why you don’t get invited to the batting cages?… Because YOU CAN’T BAT! Same thing for the Jiu-Jitsu class and when he goes to play roller hockey or ultimate frisbee in the park. This isn’t the 1930′s, with the guys all on the football field and the ladies sitting together in a bunch on a bench under a tree fixing cold cut sandwiches for lunch. Nope. Pick up that football and step on the field. Go for that 5-and-across and burn your date for the winning touchdown! :D Let him know what time it is. Trust me. His friends will buy YOU more beers than they’ll buy for HIM after the game!

5) Last, but certainly not least… Actually, probably the most important…

LOOK GOOD!

Look good. You would be surprised, out of our NYC surplus of 210,820 women, HOW MANY OF THEM schlep around town in an appalling state of disrepair. :( Somebody lied to y’all and told you that you could look like anything and still get raps. Nope. Not THIS day and time, my sistah! If you want to look bad and still get attention, move to L.A. or anywhere with one of those large BLUE dots. NYC isn’t for you. In fact, according to that map, there’s no place for you on the entire Eastern Seaboard. You’d better go visit Prince in Minneapolis! See if he’ll sing you a song or something, ’cause you’re done around these parts.

Don’t worry about whether a guy’s going to buy you a drink at the club… YOU have to worry about GETTING IN the club to begin with. Paying off the bouncer might work… Anyway… Stop being lazy. Accentuate the positive & play down the negative. Stop dressing like a beatnik and carry yourself like the successful businesswoman you are. Stop getting haircuts because you saw it in a magazine if it doesn’t work with YOUR face. Hit that gym on a regular basis. Do whatever you have to do to catch a guy’s eye, because if you don’t…..

There are 210,819 women ready to steal YOUR man. :D

DatingGenius

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