Here we go again. :/

HuffPo announced yesterday that more dudes are being investigated for “misconduct” because of their interactions with hookers.

First of all, that’s not “misconduct”. That’s “conduct”.

Men buy sex. Get over it.

Here’s what the article says -> huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/21/dea-cartagena-prostitution-secret-service_n_1534719.html

DEA Cartagena Probe: Agency Embroiled In Prostitution Scandal

WASHINGTON — The Justice Department inspector general’s office was investigating possible misconduct by two or more Drug Enforcement Administration agents in Colombia unrelated to the Secret Service incident with prostitutes at a Cartagena hotel, federal officials said Monday.

The probe began based on information provided by the Secret Service, the DEA said. The agency is making its employees available to be interviewed by investigators with the office of the Justice Department inspector general, the DEA said.

Here’s the deal… Men want women. Women want money. Men are willing to hand over money to women in order to speed up the process of getting them to spread their legs (or whatever).

Not everybody can walk into a bar and attract a woman. Some guys need to pay women to give it up. This will never change. There’s nothing to be surprised about.

Guys aren’t interested in croaking without having an exciting sex life. For that, you can stay broke (poor). There’s no reason to make money other than to attract better-quality women. If you can attract hawter chickz without making money at all, there’s no reason to do it.

(See: Artists and Rock Stars)

When a guy meets a gal in a bar, he’s not *ACTUALLY* interested in talking to her, because nobody cares how her day was or what she does for a living. He’s trying to get to the nitty-gritty and hook up with her, ASAP.

If he could do it RIGHT NOW, he would. Money tends to speed up the process of getting laid, whether that involves buying Porsches, fancy apartments, clothes, dinners, or drinks.

If “Nice shoes, let’s **** >:D” actually worked for dudes, that’s all they’d ever say to women.

This is why it’s continuously pathetic to read about this and that “scandal” that isn’t actually a scandal.

Reporting that dudes patronize hookers is like reporting that fish live in water… *NOT* like reporting that fish live OUTSIDE of water… Ain’t No Mystery.

ummmm… On top of all that.. Prostitution in Colombia is… *LEGAL*

wikipedia.org/wiki/Prostitution_in_Colombia

Prostitution in Colombia is legal as long as it is done in designated “tolerance zones”. [1]

Prostitution is widespread, partly due to poverty and internal displacement.[citation needed] Domestically, organized crime networks, some related to illegal armed groups, are responsible for human trafficking for sexual slavery and the armed conflict has made a large number of internal trafficking victims vulnerable.[1]

So these dudes aren’t even breaking any laws. They’re participating in, let’s call it, accelerated access to females.

If these dudes could actually pull women from how they looked or their gift of gab, nobody could say JACK to them for getting laid.. Remember “.. and the pursuit of happiness”? >:D

That’s not the real problem, though. The real problem is that people like to *FRONT* like they’re not doing things they’re obviously doing.

I’ve been saying, literally for YEARS, already, that there’s a reason why Monica was under the desk.

*SOMEBODY* has got to be under the desk.

Other than that, you can stay broke. There’s no point in having a career, or even a job, if you’re getting the same thing or less than a homeless dude.

However.. People like to front as if this isn’t the case. People like to pretend that if dudes go to countries where FOYINE chicks will give them some for a few pesos or whatever that they’re not going to JUMP at the chance.

It’s just not true. Get over it.

Men Buy Sex.

Women Sell Sex.

The sooner you realize this fact of life, the less you’ll be shocked by these so-called headlines about guys paying women for accelerated sexual access.
–
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Related Posts

• He’s Lying To You [The Okey-Doke, Part 02]
• Girls Don’t Have Friends That Are Guys
• Boys’ Club of America
• Asking Women Out On Dates
• You’re Still Not Me

Platonic Relationships

Here’s a fun video about why men and women can’t be “just friends”:

YouTube Link => youtu.be/T_lh5fR4DMA

Granted.. It’s easy to skew a video like this by asking 100 gals and 100 guys if they believe men and women can be “just friends” and then only airing the responses from the gals that say “Yes” and the guys that say “No”.

Regardless, I think the video points out something interesting about so-called “Platonic Relationships”.

merriam-webster.com/dictionary/platonic
2b : of, relating to, or being a relationship marked by the absence of romance or sex

If you Google “Platonic Relationships” you don’t get anything.. Other than probably this article, once I post it.

I was surprised by this, because as much as chicks yammer about platonic relationships, I would have thought there would be a plethora of articles and definitions of this situation that they believe exists.

Two Decisions, Not One

The problem that I have with the concept of platonic relationships is that relationships are defined by the individual, not by the couple.

They seem to be defined by the couple, because one person says to the other person “Let’s go steady” or “Will you wear my ring” or some other nonsense that indicates that they intend to exclusively date the other person, and then he or she agrees to enter this verbal agreement that they’re now “together” or “an item”.

In fact, that’s not ONE agreement, but rather TWO agreements by TWO individuals.

Both people have verbally agreed to be exclusive with each other (whatever that means to each one of them). If one of them decides they’re no longer exclusive, they don’t require the consent of the other person to hook up with someone else.

If it had been an agreement which required both people to begin it, it would have also required both people to end it. Capisce? :D

In the video.. Whether it was doctored or not.. What you saw was a bunch of females saying they believed that men and women can be “just friends” and a bunch of males saying Hellz Naw! :D

Lindsey Chen and I discussed the basics of this situation back in 2008, in “Does He Want To Be Friends?”.

Basically, there are three situations where a guy is actually “Just Friends” with a gal.

1. He doesn’t find her sexually attractive
2. He shares things in common with her that make him friends with her the same way he would be friends with a guy
3. He has a better use for her that will no longer be available to him if he hits it.. Money, Food, Her better-looking girlfriends and female family members, Whatever..

The first one is the main one. If a guy doesn’t wanna tap that, we can be friends forever. :D

However.. If he’s not physically/sexually attracted to her, she actually has to have something about her personality or what she does in her daily life that’s of interest to him if he’s going to spend time with her at all. She no longer gets the chick modifier and will be scrutinized on the same level as if he were choosing a male friend to spend time with.

Of course, this is a much higher standard. This is why you see a lot of tomboys with a lot of male friends. The women are actually considered “one of the fellaz” because of how they carry themselves and what they’re bringing to the table, personality-wise. You don’t see a lot of girly-girls with a bunch of male friends, because nobody’s actually trying to have them hanging around unless we’re scheming on them. >:D

#3 is self-explanatory.. What’s the point of hooking up with ONE chick when you can become “Just Friends” with her and gain access to all of her homegirls? >:D

Also.. What’s the point of hooking up with a chick that’s a client of yours and take the chance that she’ll get all emotional about nothing and jack up your cash flow, when you could remain in a “platonic relationship” with her and use all the extra money you get to court other women? >:D

That’s not what we saw in the video. What we saw was women saying men and women CAN be “just friends” and men saying men and women CAN NOT be “just friends”.

What percentage of that population do you think overlaps?.. How many women are currently in platonic relationships with men that aren’t in platonic relationships with them? o_O

Same Word, Different Meaning

Women define “platonic relationships” as “We don’t have sex with each other”.

Men define “platonic relationships” as “I haven’t hit it yet”.

You see the problem here? :) The only way the relationship is *ACTUALLY* platonic is if BOTH PEOPLE agree that they don’t want to have sex with each other, but women think that just because THEY aren’t thinking about hooking up with the guy, he isn’t thinking about hooking up with them either.

This is why it’s so funny in the video when dude finally asks the chicks “Do you think XYZ dude would hit it if you let him?” and then they look all confused, because this is the first time they’re even thinking about it.

It’s funny because the guy has been thinking about having sex with her every time he was around her, but he knew that he needed to play the “friend” role to stay in the pocket until he could get on.

So.. How is that relationship actually platonic, when all it takes is for the chick to get horny one time, or mad at her boyfriend, or drunk, and then all of a sudden, she wants to give her “friend” some, and he’s down to hit it? \o/

It isn’t.

Ladies.. Here’s how you test whether you’re in a platonic relationship or not:

1. Ask him “Would you have sex with me?”
2. Ask him “Why not?”

Of course, this is purely hypothetical. :D

No guy in his right mind is going to admit to you that he’d hit it, and if he wouldn’t, he’s not going to tell you the truth about WHY he wouldn’t.

However.. In theory.. That is how you would find out.

Theoretically, He’d either respond “Yeah.. You could get it”, or some variation of “You don’t have enough ass to turn me on” or “Ain’t that type-a party” or “I value you for your mind, not your body” or “Aren’t you kind of nerdy to be having sex?” or something that would describe the reasons why he hasn’t hit it yet, and whether or not he’s planning to get with you in the future.

Other than that, you are *NOT* in a platonic relationship if the dude’s actually attracted to you, because the first time you spread your legs, he’s goin’ in. >:D

2 minutes into the video, this chick says “That was one instance”, hahaha What about that, Ladies? :D

What happens after you give your “just friend” some one time? Are you STILL in a “platonic” relationship? o_O

See what I mean? It’s all bogus, like how chicks wear white wedding gowns when they know they’ve been giving it up ever since dude bought them the engagement ring.

Everybody knows he hit it before the honeymoon.. Took it for a test drive or a thousand…

This just makes the situation worse, when women that know damned well that they’re *NOT* in platonic relationships with dudes play it off like they are so they don’t get stigmatized as a slut, which is a different ridiculous topic…

So, No.. Unless a dude HONESTLY doesn’t want to have sex with a chick, he isn’t in a platonic relationship with her. Period.

Even in the situations where he forgoes acting on natural his impulses to gain other things from her, that’s not removing his desire to hit it. He’s just trading that in for a goal that he perceives to be more valuable, such as more girls or more money.

Can Men & Women Be Friends?

Having said all that.. My friend Shauna mentioned that the video doesnt really explicitly state why men and women can’t be friends.

She’s right about that.

There are actually two different definitions of “Friends” that are going around. One of them means “I like this person and enjoy spending time with them”, and the other one means “I would not have sex with this person under any circumstances”.

When women say “He’s a friend of mine”, they mean “I haven’t had sex with him and will never have sex with him between this moment right now and when I finally croak”.

When men say “She’s a friend of mine”, they mean “I’ll hit it whenever she’s in the mood, but until that time, she’s nice to look at, so I’ll keep chillin’ with her”.

So.. While it’s absolutely true that there are LOTS of actual and honest friendships between men and women, that only means that they mutually enjoy each other’s company.. Not that dude wouldn’t hook up with her.

Whether that particular relationship is platonic or not depends on how BOTH PEOPLE feel about hooking up with each other, *NOT* that they haven’t had sex YET and that every time she defines their relationship as platonic to other people, he readily agrees, knowing that if he doesn’t, the jig will be up, and all this time he’s spent pretending to be her friend will have been wasted. >:D
–
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Related Posts

• Girls Don’t Have Friends That Are Guys
• Men Buy Sex
• He’s Lying To You [The Okey-Doke, Part 02]
• Why Men Rebound So Quickly
• Making Friends vs. Getting Laid

Now.. Before you start crying about the title, haha “Girls don’t have friends that are guys” is a direct quote from Vinny on Jersey Shore, from when Sammi was trying to convince Ronnie that this other guy she invited to come see her at a club was a “friend” of hers.

I already talked about that situation in “We’re Just Friends!!!”, so go check that out if you want the background details from the episode. Right now, I want to speak generally about people who pretend to be “friends” with other people.

Friends

1. Men pretend to be friends with women so they can have sex with them.
2. Women pretend to be friends with men so they can claim they’re not having sex with them.

Are there males and females that actually ARE friends?
Absolutely.

They’re friends for the same reason that anybody else is friendly towards each other… they have something in common. They enjoy the same music, they both like building computers from individual parts, they play the same sports, have similar tastes in women.. whatever.

However.. There are lots of guys that pretend to be friends with a gal because they know that’s the only way they’re going to be able to stay in the pocket long enough to hook up with her.

It’s like rap game 101.. It’s like the first smooth trick the cavemen learned or something. If you step to a female and say “You look good, I feel like tappin’ that”, she’s going to go “EEW!!! HE ONLY WANTS ME FOR MY BODY! :(“.. which is true.. and then she proceeds to give you a hard time in getting it.

Meanwhile, if you would have said “Pleasant weather we’re having today! :D”, you’ll be able to get on much faster, because even though nothing at all is different from your point of view, and you only spoke to her because you were hoping to have sex with her as soon as possible after the first second you saw her, she’s not actively mentally defending against giving you what you want.

Cat?.. Meet Bag

Reality normally becomes apparent to women in a couple of ways.. First of all, when he finally decides that he’s never going to get to hook up with her and then he abruptly stops contacting her or responding to her calls, texts & emails, and second, when he decides that HE DOES have a chance to get on, and lets her know he’s physically attracted to her, in love with her, blah blah blah…

Both of these situations tend to catch women off guard because they actually BELIEVE that sexual attraction has nothing to do with their friendship with that particular guy. The best way I can describe it from the guy’s POV is that it feels like a psychological projection, where she goes “I’m not sexually attracted to you.. Therefore, you’re not sexually attracted to me, either”. It’s very, very strange. It’s almost funny, except it’s a dangerous way of thinking. The equivalent would be “I don’t believe that there are cars speeding on this highway, so the speeding cars won’t believe I’m walking across it”.

Another version is “I told him I’m not sexually attracted to him, and he’s still talking to me, so he’s accepted that we’re not going to have sex, ever in life”. WRONG! He knew he was going to have to get around obstacles when he first saw you and decided he wanted to try to hook up with you, because that’s how the game goes. We come to get it. You give us a hard time about it. That’s how it works… That’s what we signed up for when we approached you and introduced ourselves…

It’s All In The Game

When I was around 14 years old, there was this chick I had a serious crush on in camp, and I finally decided to go meet her… Having no rap at all, I walked up to her and probably said “Hi. I’m Bill. What’s your name? :D”, and she didn’t say Jack-**** to me.

So I asked her a few more times, and she eventually said something that wasn’t a name.. I don’t remember what it was.. Let’s say she said “Football”. So I said something like “ok, Football. Nice to meet you” and she kept ignoring me.

I carried on that one-sided conversation with her for a while, and then the conversation was over. Every time I saw her after that, I had kind words for her, and always included her name. I can’t tell you what happened, because I didn’t have any technique at the time and I wasn’t doing anything that I figured would ever get me progress with her. All I can guess is that she eventually realized that all I wanted was to be nice to her, and at some point, I was passing by her and greeted her as “Football”, and she broke out laughing and told me what her name was. We became good friends after that, and remained relatively close to each other during the rest of my stay there.

The point being that boys go through this BS from the very beginning of when we start talking to girls. Girls are programmed to give us a hard time, and we naturally adapt to accept this and get around it. 101. This is why “I told him I’m not sexually attracted to him” doesn’t have any effect on whether he’s attracted to her. That’s pretty much where we start every single hookup attempt.

What’s even less effective is “I told him I wasn’t going to have sex with him”, because that’s not even explicitly denying sexual attraction… That’s saying that you might or might not give him some, but at this point in time, you have a reason why you’re not going to do that = He’s gonna stay in the pocket and ride it out to see what happens.

One of these excuses why you’re not planning to give him some is that you have a boyfriend, fiance, husband, whatever. This is another non-factor to guys that are interested in you. This is why, when your relationship dissolves, all these guys that you thought were your “friends” suddenly profess their love and/or attraction to you and start offering you tha dilznick.

It’s not that they’re not your friends. They are. They’ll build computers with you and go see that 3D movie with you, but they’d also stick it in a split second if they thought you’d go for it.

You’re Not Slick

This is what guys know, and this is why Sammi’s excuse (which, of course, turned out to be a lie) wasn’t fooling anybody and caused Vinny to say “Girls don’t have friends that are guys”.

What he was saying is that Sammi was implying a platonic (2b : of, relating to, or being a relationship marked by the absence of romance or sex) relationship with the dude by calling him her “friend”, when everybody knows dude would have screwed her if she was down with it, and everybody knows that SAMMI KNOWS dude would have hit it, which is why she contacted him and invited him to come hang out with her at the club.

Whether she actually wanted to hook up with him or just use him to make Ronnie jealous is irrelevant. That dude was clearly *NOT* her [platonic]friend. If she had wanted a friend to spend time with her at a club, she should have invited a female.

As it turns out, after lie after lie after lie after lie after lie after lie after lie, she finally admitted that she’s made out with the dude in the past (which, she didn’t have a choice but to fess up, because dude described a specific instance where they hooked up IN DETAIL to her on the phone with Ronnie & Mike right there, hearing the entire conversation), but her new excuse was that it was before she had been dating Ronnie.

Unfortunately, that makes you look WORSE, and not better. :) As soon as you break up with your boyfriend of a year or so, you tell a guy you used to mess with to come see you at the club? hahaha Nice one! :D

What Was She Thinking?

I was explaining this situation to a friend of mine that doesn’t watch Jersey Shore, and she asked me “Why did she think the guy was going to back her play?”

Usually… Guys that kick it to other guys’ girls don’t know each other… That situation would never have gone down like that, except that it was on a television show.

What would have happened is that the dude would have arrived, seen Sammi hanging out with Ronnie, told Mike that he had been invited to the club by Sammi and showed Mike the text messages, and then Mike would have shut the **** up.

That’s because snitching is good for television ratings, but it sucks in real life. That could easily have turned into a fight.

Under normal circumstances, Sammi would have been in the middle, and there would have been no reason at all for the other guy to tell Ronnie the truth about his interactions with Sammi. I’m sure this is what she was thinking when she decided to drag Ronnie over to the dude that a) she initially lied and said she never texted, and then, when Nicole informed her that she already saw the texts from her on his phone, she b) changed her lie to “Yes, I texted him, but he’s my friend“. She was already caught in lies, and she figured that there was no reason for Ronnie to find out the truth, so she gambled and lost.. big time.

Because this happened on television, Mike called the dude on the phone, who said directly and clearly that he had made out with Sammi when Ronnie asked him about it… Instead of living with the disgrace of being caught in I-don’t-know-how-many lies at this point, Sammi gets on the phone and says “We never made out! :O” resulting in his description a the location and situation for which she had no rebuttal and ended up FINALLY copping a plea to Ronnie that she messed with him a couple of years ago.

I think that besides thinking she’s smarter than Ronnie (which she may very well be), she was thinking the other dude didn’t have anything to lose by lying for her so she could remain in good standing with her boyfriend… Except he DID have something to lose, which was that he would have looked like a liar AND a Herb AND a troublemaker if he recanted his story. On top of that, as soon as all the roommates saw her text messages to him, the cat was out of the bag. Everybody knew she was lying before she even BEGAN lying about not having texted anyone.

If this had not been on television, the IRL conversation and then the telephone conversation between the two guys would never have occurred, Sammi would have lied and claimed no physical involvement with the dude, and that would have been that. In fact, the fact that she texted him wouldn’t have surfaced in the first place.

Of course.. This entire situation could have been avoided if she would have sent him one. more. text. saying “Don’t come to the club” once she felt like she was getting back together with Ronnie.

Midnight Racing

So anyway.. Like I said.. Guys pretend to be friends with gals so we can stay in the pocket until she finally gets with the program. Gals pretend to be friends with guys so they’re not accused of having sex with us.

One of the funny things about this is that, similar to bordellos, it doesn’t work in the other direction… Women don’t pretend to be friends with men so they can get laid.

First of all, y’all don’t have to, and second, it wouldn’t help you anyway… Y’all either “Could Get It”, or you can’t. Whether a guy races remote control cars with you in the park or not isn’t going to get you any credit towards sex.

It might help you out in a jam, though.. Like when you stumble home at 4am and your boyfriend is wondering what you’ve been doing all night, you can say “Well.. *hic*.. I was hanging out with this guy I know, and we were racing RC cars and I lost track of the time”.

……………

So, ladies.. Stop trying to use “We’re just friends” as a cover.. Especially when the only thing y’all have in common is that you look good to him and he’s down to hit it.
–
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Bill Cammack – “Neo vs. Morpheus” by Bill Cammack

Related Posts

• Platonic Relationships
• It’s All In The Game (Online Dating)
• Men Buy Sex
• Why Men Rebound So Quickly
• Boys’ Club of America

I’ve been writing my critique/roundup/recap series about MTV’s television show “Jersey Shore” for quite some time now.

If you’ve been following along, you’re aware that I’ve been complaining (as has everyone else that I know that watches the show) about how it’s been getting worse and worse.

The storylines suck (yes, there are WRITERS on “reality” shows. They’re responsible for deciding which footage gets aired, creatively crafting a character, by, for instance, showing every instance they can that make him or her look like a stone-cold IDIOT and deleting all the evidence that this person is actually very smart, but just does stupid things once in a while). The content sucks. What they choose to focus on sucks. What they choose NOT to focus on sucks.

I’ve also been trying to figure out WHY Jersey Shore has been so worthless recently.

I personally edit shows and segments for television, so I’m aware of how these shows are produced and aranged. It’s obvious to me how they could have made each episode a lot better, but elected not to.

This isn’t the editor’s fault. The editor does what the producer says. The producer does what the Executive Producer says.

Unfortunately for my previous critiques, this is as far as I followed the show up the food chain. I’ve been complaining about how the EP could possibly suck so badly that they let lame episodes like these air.

Having heard and read some recent opinions from viewers, I now believe that I “wasn’t seeing the forest, for the trees”, and that my being a fan of the show’s initial concept has blocked me from a) seeing what’s been happening, and b) applying what I know damned well about the television industry to the technical part of my criticism of the show.

Jersey Shore

I was INCREDIBLY HAPPY when I found out about the concept of “Jersey Shore”. The show was clearly based on an earlier MTV True Life documentary, “I Have A Summer Share”:

Can’t see the video? Click Here.

If you have a spare hour (plus the time it takes to rewind and laugh over and over), I suggest that you watch the entire thing:

MTV Full Episode Link => mtv.com/videos/true-life-i-have-a-summer-share/1628251/playlist.jhtml

I really enjoyed that documentary, but also realized that in telling the story of one particular person, MTV wasn’t going to really be able to show the grind of being in the trenches in the dating game.

This is why I was looking forward to Jersey Shore. They were going to take people that were on the cutthroat dating scene and follow them around with cameras while they put in work.

If you listen to the sound bites that they use for the opening of the show to this very day, you get the picture of what the show was about when it started:

Pauly D: Scratches a record that says “Get Crazy!”
Nicole: Screams “I’m going to Jersey Shore, Bitch!”
Mike: “Alright. We’ve got a situation.”
Sammi: “I’m the sweetest bitch you’ll ever meet.”
Ronnie: “HAHAHAHAHAHAHA”
Jenni: “After I have sex with a guy, I will rip their heads off.”
Vinny: Somebody chanting “Go Vinny! Go Vinny”
Deena: Yells “Do you like the boobs?”

Youtube Link => http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kbgpftoSV7A

This is obviously a show FOR GUYS.

The girls are calling themselves bitches right off the bat, asking dudes how they like their bodies and claiming that they have sex with multiple guys. Meanwhile, the quotes about the male housemates don’t say anything at all about their characters.

This is where I bought in and locked in. I was like “Thank YOU… A show for MEEEE!!! >:D”

Season 01

Season 01 was exactly what it was supposed to be.

Mike: Team Leader, Show President. Attracted girls by showing his stomach. Decided who got which girls when they brought multiples back to the house.

Pauly: Second in command. Only one with actual talent (DJ’ing). Attracted girls with his super-gelled Guile from Street Fighter hairstyle. Eventually moved to #1 when Mike fell off due to fumbling his own chicks and being an HORRIFFIC wingman.

Ronnie: Should have been the top dog. Way more potential than Mike or Pauly. Sold out to Sammi instantaneously, and has been a rap game non-factor for the entire three seasons. The only time he’s effective is when he gets drunk and Sammi’s not there, and he goes berserk, making out with multiple chicks and doing whatever else he feels like doing at the time.

Vinny: Hired as the “regular guy” and the narrator. Nice guy. The voice of reason. Complete non-factor in getting girls. Received trickle-down (extra chicks) that Mike and Pauly blessed him with.

Jenni: Eye candy. Had a boyfriend when she walked in the door. Messed with Pauly on the first night they were all in the house together, IIRC. Boyfriend eventually came to visit and brought her flowers while all the guys were doing confessionals calling him a sucker.

Sammi: Eye candy. Messed with Mike first, then started dating Ronnie and never did anything of import ever in the entire series. Credit awarded for getting punched in her face a few times by Jenni, and causing Ronnie to get into two fights, one of which, he was arrested for.

Angelina: Supposedly had messed with Mike and Pauly before the show started filming. Pretended to be “not that type of girl” and ended up screwing Vinny in season 02 before getting kicked off the show for two seasons in a row. Dated some Herb and juiced him for dates and presents while she was making out with and giving it up to Vinny.

Nicole: Thirsty, Thirsty, Thirsty, Thirsty, Thirsty, Thirsty, Thirsty, Thirsty, Thirsty girl. :D Tried to make out with all four of the male housemates in the hot tub on day 01. Unsuccessfully threw sex at any guy she thought was attractive that would allow her to speak to him for the entire season.

A typical episode in season 01 included some fluff about them hanging out together or going to work in the t-shirt shop, since it’s owned by the guy that owns the house they film in (the two are connected), scenes of them getting ready to go to clubs, scenes of the guys hunting in clubs, bringing chicks back to the house and trying to have sex with them.

Perfect. A show FOR GUYS. Thank ye very kindly! >:D

Season 03

Season 02 was ineffective because they filmed it in Miami. Nobody’s checkin’ for guys like this in Miami. Their best bet for pulling chicks is Seaside Heights or any area that emulates that type of Jersey nightclub social scene. You could have put any three random dudes in Miami and it would have been the exact same season.

I was looking forward to season 03 because the guys were returning to their proper hunting grounds, PLUS they were now equipped with a full year of being international television stars. There was NO. WAY. IN. HELL. that they weren’t going to rip through the grenades this season, and I couldn’t wait to watch the carnage! >:D

To my ultimate dismay and absolute horror, someone dismantled this series, and Jersey Shore, Season 03 went down like a Led Zeppelin.

Mike: The stomach-thing seems not to be working. He can’t pull girls… at all. Every time you see him leaving a club, he’s by himself. They threw him a bone by filming some chick that he screwed last year and showing him bringing her home, as if they were continuing a relationship.

This doesn’t make any sense at all…. I’m not famous. I can pull chicks just by walking into a party. I can go +4 or +5 on Facebook (exchange contact information) in less than an hour. It’s literally IMPOSSIBLE that an internationally-known television personality can walk into a club filled with girls, some of whom are his actual FANS, many of whom have seen him on television, and be so damned ineffective.

He either lost his mind or MTV’s deliberately not showing him hooking up…

Pauly: No dice… Ever since he dated that chick Rocio in Miami, Pauly fell off. Not only do you never see him bring a chick back to the house, but MTV never even shows him even TALKING to girls at the club….. Except for a 1-second clip they let slide of him walking away from a club one night, holding hands with some chick, while a second chick talked to her. In that situation, we never saw HOW he met that girl, and we never saw her ever again. The next scene Pauly’s in, he’s sitting on the couch in the house, socializing with the housemates, not saying he hooked up, and not even acting like he was ever even AROUND a girl that evening.

My speculation up to today (and I still say this is possible) was that he never stopped dating Rocio… However.. At this point, I believe that MTV’s deliberately not showing him hooking up.

Ronnie: What happened to GTL? (Gym, Tan, Laundry) .. What happened to showing the fellaz hanging out and doing what guys do? Oh no! Can’t have *THAT* in season 03! :/ All we get is Ronnie crying every. single. *******. episode. because he’s so emotional over his relationship to Sammi. In season 01, we got to see Ronnie knock some Herb out in one punch for being an asshat. In season 03, we got to see Ronnie get sucker-punched in his face by his girlfriend.

Are you starting to see the pattern here? o_O

Reality shows are crafted by the decisions that are made about what will be shown and what won’t be shown. I wasn’t looking far enough up the food chain to be able to understand who’s making those decisions, and for what reason…

Vinny: Far and away, the CLEAR LEADER OF THE PACK when it comes to pulling girls. The only guy left that MTV will allow to be seen rapping to girls, pulling girls, bringing them back to the house, and getting under the covers with them.

Vinny deserves all credit for using this year to his advantage and making an ABSOLUTE COME-UP in his skillz, style and confidence with women. Props to Vinny! :D .. Granted, Mike & Pauly are being muted/Herbed in the edit, but that takes nothing away from Vinny’s personal progress in The Game.

Jenni: After a full year of not being effective as far as dating (other than hooking up with Pauly in season 01, which they both admitted in one of the after-shows to season 03), she goes directly from being one guy’s girlfriend to being another guy’s girlfriend. *YAWN*. Strangely enough, contrary to her sound bite in the show intro, there hasn’t been any ripping of heads. Jenni has been absolutely docile. A model citizen. A doting girlfriend…..

Sammi: Although she’s never served ANY purpose WHATSOEVER on this show, other than Eye Candy, which Ronnie reminded her of by screaming in her face about how she’s a “useless, selfish bitch” who’s never even cooked for him… In Season 03, Sammi has become the poster child for denial, or, perhaps “You are what you THINK you are, not what you ACTUALLY are.”

It’s interesting to watch her mind shut down while she gathers her thoughts and reassures herself and then picks up the conversation as if she never heard what the person talking to her said, like how Ronnie had to tell her several times in several different ways that he was DONE with her as a girlfriend, and she never got the picture until he broke all of her possessions, including her prescription glasses that she probably needs to read or use her computer.

Deena: Replacement for Angelina. Trying too hard to be a character instead of just being herself. Kicks it to a guy in the club, brings him home, puts on her bikini, gets in the hot tub with him, *AND THEN* asks him if he has a girlfriend. Of course, he says “No”, even though Ronnie had already said on camera that he knows this guy’s girlfriend. Deena proceeds to hook up with him and finds out he has a girlfriend when Sammi sees her escorting the dude out of the house in the morning. Deena keeps dating this guy and eventually Mike “The Snitchuation” reveals to her that he overheard the barber telling Ronnie that the guy Deena hooked up with said that Deena had asked him if she could rim him.

That’s pretty much her entire storyline, other than getting drunk and falling down while walking, getting drunk and falling off stages while dancing, and getting drunk and falling out of hammocks onto her dome.

Nicole: Thirsty, Thirsty, Thirsty, Thirsty, Thirsty, Thirsty, Thirsty, Thirsty, Thirsty girl. :D This season, however, she has help from her friends, and has been getting dates with several guys, who, unfortunately, all know each other. The two interesting things about her this season are a) that every time she hooks up with a guy, she claims that she hasn’t had sex in 4 months, and b) that she’s walking around calling guys grenades as if she doesn’t realize that beggars can’t be choosers.

As you can tell from my description, the vibe of this show is all ******-up.

This is what I’ve been complaining about for weeks now. I believe I finally understand it, though, and I see the method to MTV’s apparent madness. I had been wondering how such horrible decisions were being made about how to put the shows together, but the fact that I’ve been a fan from day 01 has been clouding my perception.

Television Business

Television is a business. It’s not entertainment.

This is why those sappy daytime shows are called soap operas. They were developed to get people like you to sit still and watch or listen to COMMERCIAL ADVERTISEMENTS about SOAP.

That’s what’s really going on. The money comes from advertising. The advertisers pay because a show can demonstrate that X number of people watch the show, a percentage of whom are in the advertiser’s target demographic of people who they would like to buy their products or services.

Stations buy shows from production companies because they believe that that series will pull in the demographic that the station will be able to sell to advertisers.

It’s the same principle as movie stars. You pay Tom Cruise $20 Million USD to be in your film, because you know that his fans will pay you $100 Million USD to come see him in theaters and buy the DVD and rent it from stores and watch it online, etc. Your other option is to NOT pay Tom to be in the movie and hope that your no-name actor attracts $80 Million USD in revenue.

So, I wasn’t looking at the BUSINESS of the show… What threw me off was that it was clear to me what the show was about when it began, but I didn’t consider what the numbers said at the end of season 01, and how that would prompt executives to make changes in the show.

If I’m cutting a commercial for an ad agency, I don’t get to tell them what I want to be in the commercial. There are Ad Execs and Art Directors and Producers and Executive Producers and representatives of the company that the commercial is for (the client) and a lot of people that have a lot of ideas about what’s going to go into that 30 seconds’ worth of television.

What comes out of that cloud of ideas is several test commercials. They probably won’t be done with video, but rather with pictures drawn by artists like a comic book storyboard. Those are given to me and I create moves between them, emulating a video presentation. This is called an animatic. If it’s done with pictures, it’s called a photomatic. Several test commercials are sent to Focus Groups.

Focus Groups are made up of average people. You show them the commercials and ask them questions afterwards. The goal is to gauge the average Joe/Josephine’s retention of facts that are important for the client to convey. If you’re selling medicine, and most of the takeaway from the test commercial was about the bed someone was sleeping in or how cute the kid was, that commercial is most likely not getting made.

The ones where people say “I would try that product if I had a cough (or whatever the medicine fixes)” have a chance to be made into a real commercial by hiring a production company, telling them what scenes to go film, having them shoot several takes of what they were asked for, and getting that footage back in the editing suite to be scrutinized and argued over AGAIN before the final version is approved and the commercial goes on television.

This is what I believe happened to Jersey Shore. :D

Girlie Shore

What I missed, because I wasn’t following the money and I wasn’t looking far enough up the food chain to figure out who’s really pulling the strings, is that right out from under my nose, MTV changed Jersey Shore from being a GUYS’ show to being a GIRLS’ show! :D

I had never experienced this before as a fan who was emotionally invested in the original format of a show. The *ONLY* thing I liked about Jersey Shore was that people were going to finally get to see things that I had been telling them about for years, and they just didn’t believe it.

People were finally going to get to see behind the scenes of what hunters do, what they say, and what they have to deal with in order to pull chicks.

That’s what we received in season 01, right according to the perfect plan. Making out with multiple chicks, deciding who’s going to hook up with which chick AFTER getting them all back to the crib, never repeating chicks, GTL, getting your gear and haircut proper, arguments, friends stealing girls from you, the pecking order, selling out, lying, gossip, reputations getting around… Season 01 had it ALL!!! >:D

However.. Like I said.. Television is a business. Nobody cares who’s enjoying the show. Everybody cares who’s watching the show, who’s buying products, who’s following on Facebook and Twitter, who’s commenting on the blog posts and videos, who’s creating their own fan pages for the characters, who’s purchasing the eBooks, who’s showing up to the live appearances, who’s in the crowd at concerts or parties, who’s in the line for autographs…

And you know who that is?

GIRLS! :D

That’s right… Jersey Shore has been repurposed to appeal to females.

Don’t believe me? Look at the gigs the cast’s managers have lined up for them:

Ronnie’s doing weight-loss commercials:

You know who cares about that?… Females.

Pauly’s doing Justin Bieber commercials:

You know who cares about that?… Females.

Is Mike on some kind of athletic program or even a workout program? Nope. He’s on “Dancing With The Stars”.. Get the picture? o_O

The Guys

The first thing you want to do as a manager of a guy whose fan base is girls is to make it look like he doesn’t have any girls. You have to hide their significant others as well as play down their “romantic” involvements so the girls that scream for them at public appearances can all dream and fantasize that one day, *SHE* be Mrs. Pauly D or Mrs. Snitchuation.

This is a tough turnaround to make with guys whose only goal in life is to meet girls and screw them.

The first thing MTV did was show Pauly & Vinny agreeing to erase their names from the hookup board in Miami after they met quality women (The chalkboard where they were leaving marks for themselves every time they bagged a new chick). I found this suspicious because we had NEEEEEEVER seen the hookup board until they decided to remove themselves from it.

The next thing they did was make Pauly really admire Rocio for being a quality female, spend as much time with her as he could, and talk in confessionals about how “she’s not the type of girl that you take home and smash the first night”.

The next thing they did was obliterate Pauly’s presence from the hookup game *ENTIRELY* in season 03 with zero explanation for his lack of production.

Mike was never that effective, anyway. He does the stomach-trick and if the chicks are interested in that, they might hook up with him and they might not. This season, he’s been a complete ZERO, trying to leech chicks off of Vinny, and unsuccessfully inviting Pauly’s ex-girlfriend to come home with him, meaning that basically, he was going to try to have sex with Pauly’s ex in the same house where Pauly currently lives. Poor choice, dude. Good luck with that.

Ronnie took himself out of the game right off the bat, hooking up with Sammi. He got back in the game when he was drunk in the clubs in Miami, but this season, he’s suddenly a model citizen. o_O Every single episode, we have to hear about how he’s never cheated on Sammi since Miami. Every time he’s crying, he’s saying “I didn’t DO anything! :( What did I DO? :(“. This is another female-centric… femi-centric?… femme-centric? storyline.. The boyfriend that’s SOOO in love with his girlfriend that he will cry over her…………… and destroy everything she owns if she dances with another guy in a club and rubs her ass on him.

Vinny is literally the only concession MTV has made to the fellaz that watch the show. Having said that, they STILL downplay his achievements. It’s like a split second of Vinny meeting a chick.. A split second of him talking to her.. A split second of him inviting her home.. A split second of them walking from the club.. A split second of them walking up the stairs.. A split second of them getting under the covers with the night-vision camera watching them.. A short scene where Mike tries to get sex from the same girl ………. AND THEN 10 MINUTES OF RONNIE CRYING! :/

The Girls

The girls basically served no purpose AT ALL other than Eye Candy in season 01. The only reason they were necessary was because the format of the original documentary was guys AND girls who were friends, all sharing the same house together. Other than that, they could have been left out entirely, and Jersey Shore would have been at least four times as good.

I’m not saying that because they’re not dudes. I’m saying that because they were completely ineffective.

Jenni came to the show with a boyfriend and proceeded to front on any guy that tried to kick it to her. Who wants to watch that? \o/ Sammi came to the show single, and immediately shacked up with Ronnie (which is *HIS* fault too, so he gets blamed also), so they cancelled each other out. Angelina played that role like she’s not DTF when everybody already knew that she was. Nicole tossed sex at a bunch of dudes that didn’t want what she was offering.

It wasn’t like they cast four chicks that were down for theirs as far as dating. The guys (obviously, minus Ronnie) did exactly what they claimed they were going to do.. try to pull chicks. On top of that, none of the girls even know how to cook. The guys were always cooking. The chicks served no purpose whatsoever, except for the scenes where they were half-undressed while they were getting ready to go to the club.

In the reformatted and repurposed third season, the gals actually have roles to play:

Jenni: The girl that ‘has had some work done’ and does her best to look attractive. The serial monogamist. The chick that suffers through a bad breakup. The chick that knows how to have her friends’ backs and play her position when her man’s doing the right thing by her.

Sammi: The spoiled chick that’s gotten by to this very day because of her looks and currently believes her own hype. Bringing nothing else to the table, she still somehow considers herself better than girls that are less physically attractive than she is, regardless of how they carry themselves as human beings. The girl that will punch her boyfriend in the face for disobeying her orders. The girl whose boyfriend FREAKS OUT on her and destroys all her property because she rubbed her ass on another guy at a club.

Deena: The new kid on the block. The person that’s trying too hard to fit in and be an exciting character. The person who would get better results out of life by being herself. The female who always gets the short end of the stick when it comes to pulling guys, so she has to make a spectacle of herself to try to stand out in a crowd of better-looking females. The lowest person on the totem pole. The person that doesn’t feel like they fit in.

Nicole: The chick that gets a lot of attention, but people can’t figure out why. She’s actually on Deena-status, but believes she’s on Sammi-status. She overcomes her deficiencies by creating her own clothing styles and souping herself up with unsubstantiated confidence.

These are all roles and personality-types that Josephine-average can relate to. These are now critical to building the female fantasy version of Jersey Shore.

For instance.. They’ve been playing up a supposed unrequited romance between Nicole and Vinny. This is entirely and absolutely ridiculous, but MTV keeps incorporating this storyline into the show.

It’s ridiculous because every girl Vinny’s hooked up with (that MTV was willing to show us) has been better-looking than Nicole. :D Every. Single. One! :D Angelina’s better-looking, Ryder’s better-looking, the chick in Miami was like 8,000 times better-looking, Mike’s sister had a way better body… The only chick close to Nicole’s looks that Vinny hooked up with was Nicole.

If Vinny were planning to sell out like Ronnie, it sure as hell wouldn’t be for Nicole. However…. The fantasy of exclusive access to a guy is a staple in female American society. This is great, that every week, the girls can tune in to see if Nicole finally lands Vinny for a romantic relationship instead of crawling into bed with each other when they’re both drunk and neither one of them scored somebody else to hook up with that night.

The End

So.. As far as I’m concerned, Jersey Shore is over for the fellaz. It’s now a chick-flick.

I’m still going to watch, to see how wack they can POSSIBLY make the episodes, and to see if I’m right about all this, but I’m no longer expecting storylines I’m interested in to make it up off the cutting room floor.

I’ve been saying for months that this should be the last season of Jersey Shore, but it turns out that they’re doing a season in Italy.

It didn’t make any sense to continue the series, according to the original format of guys bagging girls, because the Jersey Shore subculture isn’t derived from Italy. It’s derived from America. It makes PERFECT sense now that it’s a girl’s show, just like how they took “Sex and the City 2″ abroad so the women could share adventures together. In fact, even “Basketball Non-Wives” filmed two episodes in Madrid, Spain.

I wouldn’t be surprised at all to see Jersey Shore, Season 04 syndicated to Bravo Television and worked into the rotation with the “Real Housewives” franchise.

There should be *NO* return to prominence for Pauly & Mike, as they’re both being groomed by their managers to make more female-oriented appearances. Vinny apparently doesn’t have any such endorsements, so they’re going to let him keep getting laid on camera until he goes the same route.

He could probably land a Trojan’s endorsement. \o/ (male-oriented)

Speaking of getting laid.. This chick-flick theory also explains why Ronnie & Sammi were allowed to take the room with three beds in it.

When Snitchuation unnecessarily asked Sammi where Ronnie keeps his condoms, she replied “I don’t know if he has any”. This indicates that either they aren’t using condoms, or they aren’t hooking up at all.

I don’t remember one single time this season that they showed Ronnie getting biz with Sammi. o_O ….. We know from all his crying that Ronnie wouldn’t screw her with Mike in the room, so he would have to take her to the guest room to hit it. I don’t remember ever seeing that.

MTV has removed just about ALL the hookup content from the show. The guys are all defunct, except for Vinny. Sammi’s off the grid. Jenni’s with her boyfriend.

Deena threw it at Mike several times, who declined all of her advances, even though he was willing to lay down with her AND Nicole together, his explanation being that he was willing to hook up with Deena as part of a threesome, strictly for the value of it being a threesome. \o/

Deena also gave it up to one guy, who apparently gossiped about her like a dog.

Other than that, she mostly drinks and falls down, and dudes don’t seem to be interested in tappin’ that.

Nicole has hooked up with at least three guys and is now walking around clubs, pointing out that the guys aren’t up to her standards?…..

Season 03 has clearly become a story about four girls trying to get laid and/or find love in Seaside Heights, New Jersey. There’s nothing wrong with that, and I wish them all good luck & prosperity in their relationships/hookups.

Hopefully, after filming season 04 in Italy, Pauly & Mike’s managers will spin them off into solo projects, Ronnie & Sam can go live together and have kids or whatever, Vinny can get his game on and eventually retire with a FOYINE chick he can take home and “make an honest woman”, Jenni and Roger will be happy together and Deena & Nicole find boyfriends before they catch something.

The next thing that needs to happen is for the producers to start all over with a fresh cast of non-stars, so we can get back to the ******* ACTION! >:D
–
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Related Posts

• Jersey Shore S03 E09 [Part 01]
• Jersey Snore
• “Jersey Shore” Italy: Double Header
• “Jersey Shore” Italy, Episode 02
• Jersey Shore S03 E08

Reader “Nikki” asked me my thoughts about why men rebound so quickly after a “relationship” ends.

If you’re not aware of what “the rebound” is, it’s the time period between when you exit one relationship and feel like attempting to enter a new one. If someone breaks up with a bf/gf/wife/husband and you meet them before they get over it, that’s called “catching them on the rebound”, like in basketball.

Once they feel like being involved in relationships again, they’ve exited rebound status. Just because you meet someone shortly after they break up with someone doesn’t mean they haven’t gotten over it already.. especially if the breakup was THEIR idea to begin with.

If there were actual statistics, I’m sure they’d indicate that guys in general get over relationships ending more quickly than gals do. That’s what we’re going to discuss in this article.

Relationships

The relationships that I believe in are the ones that are real. Those could be between friends, family members, co-workers, lovers, friends with benefits, frenemies, enemies, whomever.

The relationships that I DON’T believe in are the ones that are declared without collateral:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Collateral_(finance): In lending agreements, collateral is a borrower’s pledge of specific property to a lender, to secure repayment of a loan.[1][2] The collateral serves as protection for a lender against a borrower’s default – that is, any borrower failing to pay the principal and interest under the terms of a loan obligation. If a borrower does default on a loan (due to insolvency or other event), that borrower forfeits (gives up) the property pledged as collateral – and the lender then becomes the owner of the collateral.

What that gibberish you just read means is that you say “Lend me $10″ and the other person says “How do I know you’ll pay me back?” and then you say “My hat costs $15, so if I don’t give you your money back, you can have my hat”.

When you don’t pay the money back, you have to hand over the hat, which you don’t want to do, because it’s worth more than what you borrowed from the other person, so not giving up your hat is your incentive to actually pay the money back like you initially claimed you were going to.

In boyfriend/girlfriend relationships, there’s no collateral. None. Relationships end faster than you can say “WTF? o_O”. In fact, they end faster than you can say “What?”. Now you see them, Now you don’t. Poof. Houdini. And like that… s/he’s gone.

A lot of women feel like they have protection against this if they’re married to a dude.

They do not.

Marriage

The only situation where they do have protection/leverage is when he’s not willing to part with his money and pay alimony. Sometimes, this results in a guy remaining in a marriage he’s not satisfied with. Other times this results in “Cheaper To Keep Her”, which is that dude goes about his life as if he were single, yet never divorces his wife. It’s actually financially better for him to have her sleeping under his roof and eating his food than to break up with her.

One of the reasons this arrangement works so well is that when women get mad at you, what do they do?.. That’s right.. Withhold sex… So while they’re thinking they’re cockblocking you by not giving it up, you’re lampin’ with your goomah in the apartment you’re renting for her with the money you’re saving from not having to pay alimony because your wife never left.

So, other than “Cheaper To Keep Her”, women have ZERO collateral in relationships. They think they do, because the guy has to TELL HER she does in order to get her to lay down. This is where R&B music comes in handy, because you can get the radio to tell your girlfriend things you’re not actually feeling yourself and that wouldn’t sound convincing if you tried to kick that game on your own.

Now, you might think that there isn’t any collateral in the other types of relationships I mentioned, but there actually is. In a REAL relationship, the collateral is the goodwill that you feel towards the other person, based on who they’ve been for you during the time that you’ve known them.

To go back to our hat analogy.. If you lend someone that you have a REAL relationship to $10, you don’t have to ask them for collateral, because you know that their DESIRE is to pay you back what you lent them. They desire that because that’s what you’d desire if you needed to borrow money from them.

Similarly, you DON’T want them to have to give you their hat. You want them to keep their beloved hat and return your relationship to equilibrium by paying you back the amount they borrowed. You’re lending them the money because you want them to be able to buy whatever they need to buy with it. It’s not a business deal. They don’t need collateral and you don’t want it even if they offer it.

You Gonna Eat That?

A lot of people think that what I just said describes their relationship to their BF/GF.

A lot of these people are wrong.

Some relationships, maybe even many or MOST “romantic” relationships (I have no idea of the percentages) are based on REAL relationships. The foundation is two people that want the best for each other and have teamed up to form a unit, whether that unit is formally recognized (marriage, titles) or not.

Other relationships are actually mutually parasitic arrangements, where what’s holding it together isn’t love or the determined formation of a tight unit, but rather that each person has something that the other person wants.

Typically, a gal might be with a guy because he has more money than other guys or because she doesn’t want to consider herself “single”. Typically, a guy might be with a gal because he thinks she’s hawt, or he likes having sex with her, or sporting her on his arm makes him look good to his friends. If two people like this were to meet each other, they might end up “dating”, if he’s rich enough and she’s hawt enough, and there’s never actually any cohesion which binds them together mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. “Physically” is handled, because if it isn’t, dude’s gonna bounce. :D

To confuse matters even more, people’s positions change while they’re in relationships to each other. People “fall in and out of love” with each other at different times. This causes people to sound really sincere when they’re saying nice things to each other, because they actually feel that way at the time. Instead of accepting this as an indication of how that person feels right now, at this very instant, people take these statements to mean that that person’s going to feel that way forever…

This leads us to Nikki‘s initial question.. Why men rebound so quickly…

The End

For the reasons I’ve outlined, as well as many others that I haven’t, you can’t count that instantaneous, split-second where people go from “We’re in a relationship with each other” to “We’re NOT in a relationship with each other” as the beginning of the “rebound” period.

In fact.. Whomever’s idea it was to break up, they probably came up with the idea a long-ass time ago, and you’re just finding out about it now.

It’s not easy to break up with a girlfriend and have her *NOT* cause a scene. I learned this when I was around 15 and never forgot it! :D .. This means that guys are going to ease themselves out of relationships gradually, instead of announcing when they’re no longer feelin’ a chick that they’re done with the relationship.

In effect, this causes guys to begin the rebound process way before the gal even finds out the relationship’s over. Most likely, he’s completely over you BEFORE he tells you anything at all, so while you’re just finding out and going “Why this and that?” and saying “Can’t we talk about this?” and all the other typical conversations that follow breakup announcements, it really doesn’t matter because he’s already emotionally moved on.

This assumes that he was emotionally attached to you AT ALL while he was dating you. Maybe he was. Maybe he wasn’t. Maybe he fluctuated between believing he wanted to spend a long time with you and feeling like he wanted to date other women, or just not date YOU in particular.

If he wasn’t attached to you in that way, there’s no rebound period at all. He’s with you and then he’s not, and it doesn’t make a difference to him either way… Is he going to tell YOU any of this? Nope. Guys have to maintain the romantic facade or else lose functionality of their chicks. It’s like how you have to keep gasoline in the tank of a car if you want to be able to go anywhere. As soon as you don’t feel like going anywhere, there’s no point in gassing it up, is there?

Say What?

Let’s say all things are equal, or even that instead of it being a mutual decision to break up, the guy gets completely blindsided and finds out that he no longer has a girlfriend in that split second when you inform him… Unless he had plans on having kids with you, or you were like the most intelligent and cool woman he’s ever met, or he liked living in your house or driving your car, what he hears you telling him is “You don’t have guaranteed sex anymore.”

The first thing he’s going to reacquire will be sex.

The way he’s going to do that is by beginning to date women.

This is why it appears that men get over being on the rebound so quickly. The first thing that’s important is physicality. The second thing that’s important… maybe… is having a girlfriend. If you have a chick to have sex with, but she’s not your girlfriend, that’s called “Friends With Benefits” or “It’s Complicated” (which, nothing is complicated. People just don’t want to admit they’re hooking up with no formal agreement of exclusivity), both of which are as good as, if not better than having one girlfriend, because you’re still “allowed” to get more until you declare an alliance with one and forsake all the others.

Meanwhile, even if the female’s the one that did the breaking-up, she’s typically going to want to feel emotionally attached to a dude BEFORE having sex with him. This is what’s confusing to her when she sees her ex chillin’ with girls and enjoying his life one week after she broke up with him. She’s wondering how he was able to shake off the residual emotion from the relationship that quickly. Maybe he didn’t. Since guys don’t need to feel emotionally attached to gals in order to hook up with them, you might still be his #1 girl as far as he’s concerned, but you’ve abdicated your position. His options are to try to get you back and suffer through a lot of whining and demands, or go out with new girls that are GLAD to spend time with him, FLATTERED that he asked them out and HOPEFUL that he wants to have a relationship with them (or, even just hook up with them, if they’re feelin’ him that way).

Try To See It My Way

In another scenario, the relationship goes sour and people spend time “trying to work it out” with each other. One of the likely occurrences during that slow demise period is that she gets upset at him and starts withholding sex, which causes him to immediately start lining up new girls before the relationship’s even over.

As a side note.. This is typically mentioned by guys that get caught with wedding rings in their pockets, or on their chain around their neck, hanging below the collar of their shirt, so the chick they’re kickin’ it to at the bar can’t see it… Instead of giving up the rap, he says “It’s not working out between us” or “We’re not having sex together anymore” or “We have an agreement” or “We’re staying in the same house because of the kids” or “We can’t afford to live separately, even though we’re not together anymore”, or whatever he has to say to make you feel like you can give it up without becoming a homewrecker.

Even though most times, that’s just a boldfaced LIE and his relationship to his wife is perfectly fine, you can see my point. Lots of guys are trolling for girls between the time when they decide they’re going to exit their relationship in the future and when they actually tell you it’s over.

Some guys never stop picking up girls. You say what you have to say to one of them to lock her down as your best girlfriend and then let her feel like y’all are exclusive while you live the single life you always had and always intended to have.

When They Say “Why?.. Why?”

The last reason I’ll mention is that for some people, monogamy isn’t natural at all. It just doesn’t make any sense. Why would you NOT hook up with a chick that you wanted if she wanted you as well?

Unfortunately, being that the majority of the country is trained to request exclusive relationships, in order to gain access to some people, especially women, you have to lie and claim that you’re down with the program.

If that’s the case, then it’s actually A HARDSHIP, being in a relationship with you and when you break up with him, he returns to nature… Immediately! >:D

All of a sudden, The Game’s back on, and even if he’s rusty from having spent so much time with one woman, he’s going to enjoy the thrill of the hunt.. getting out there and seeing what he can do. Who’s he going to meet today? What will she look like? Will she be interested in him? Will he have to work for it? o_O

All the stuff that he didn’t get to do (or didn’t have to do) while he was with you is now available to him, and the adrenaline can be intoxicating. In fact, not only might he NOT experience a rebound phase, but he might actually be wondering how he had been able to spend so much time with only one gal before you broke up with him.
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