Bill Cammack

This is not a continuation of “Online Dating Tactics”. This is a response to a BlogHer post by Zandria M, entitled “Dating: ‘Tis the Season”.

Zandria: I’ve heard that more breakups occur during the holiday season than any other time of year. [...snip...] The thing is, though, I haven’t seen a drop in the amount of people looking for dates online. In fact, I’m receiving more expressions of interest than I did when I first signed up over the summer.

hehehe Excellent read, Zandria. :) Let me tell you what’s going on.

You explained why you’re getting more expressions of interest now than you did over the summer. Guys are dumping their girls for the holiday season OR they’ve already DECIDED that they’re dumping their girls, so they’re trolling for more women ahead of time. It’s like being a freelancer in a work situation. As a video editor, I get MORE work when people get fired or companies downsize. You’re experiencing the same thing with online dating. Read the rest of this entry »

Women have to look good and men don’t. Period. If you don’t believe me, look around. This is because men and women have (for the most part) entirely different criteria for selecting someone to pair-bond with.

Men use their EYES to select women. This is why attractive women get more dates and get more drinks bought for them than unattractive women. Of course, unattractive women have more sex, for the reasons I already outlined, but that has nothing to do with relationships.

Women, in the meantime, select men by how they feel around them. This is why men don’t have to be attractive. You can be as ugly as you want to be or completely out of shape and still be nice to her and respectful and loving and caring and thoughtful and end up getting the rap to a woman over way more physically attractive guys. There are lots of Fabio-types that can’t hold a woman for ISH because their personalities just suck and they have the empathy of a plastic rock. Read the rest of this entry »

I woke up @ 5 am this morning and I really intended to write about a conversation I had with a new friend I made last night. She questioned WHY I get to write the Women’s Guide to NYC Dating and she tried to low-rate me when I replied “No” to her question “Are you in a relationship?”. I realize this morning, that I should actually have said “Yes. Several”, and that will be my response, going forward. I have LOTS of girlfriends, but since I don’t pride myself on choosing ONE, because I don’t HAVE TO, I don’t fall under the traditional category of “being in a relationship”.

I’m a renter, not a buyer. I’m not interested in hanging out with the same chick every day or doing the same thing every day. Everything I do is on the fly. I meet chicks every time I go outside. It’s a daily operation. I’m polyamorous. I’m not in love with ONE chick. I’m in love with several. Simultaneously. I’m extremely blessed that I get to spend so much time with so many women whose company I REALLY enjoy! :D

However, I’m currently disinterested in qualifying why I know what I know about women. I’d rather talk about a conversation that I had ABOUT that conversation that I just mentioned. To paraphrase, I was asked “How come you’re so hard on chicks?”.

I’m hard on chicks because chicks need to be harder on THEMSELVES. WAKE. UP! I don’t write this stuff for no reason. I write it becase EVERY. SINGLE. DAY I have the SAME conversations with women over and over and over and they just don’t get it. They take the same shorts every day. They get cheated on the same ways every day. They don’t understand why guys catcall or that alcohol isn’t an excuse for cheating or abusive behavior. They keep letting guys do pull-out method on them, thinking they’re not going to get pregnant. They keep wondering how to tell if a guy has a girlfriend or not. They keep acting like they’re hot properties in a town where there are reportedly 210,820 more single women than men!

I’m sorry. :D SOMEBODY’S got to be the voice of reason. You don’t think that’s me? Write YOUR OWN blog and let’s hear YOUR take on the dating/relationships scene. You don’t think I’m qualified to write the women’s guide to whatever? YOU write it and send me the link. I’ll read it! :D

Every close girlfriend of mine knows that if she tells me some BULLSHIT I’m gonna jump up and down on her logic to see if it stands up. They also know that I do it because I CARE and I want them to be better human beings. If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t waste my time trying to help them see reality.

The fact of the matter is… The only way out.. is through. If you can’t see the possibilities, you can’t fully understand the playing field. It’s like trying to defend against a wide receiver and he jukes right, breaks left, puts his hand up in the air and physically DISAPPEARS! How are you supposed to defend against that? The problem is that he didn’t disappear. He stepped into a blind spot in YOUR understanding. The quarterback could still see him clearly, threw him the ball and he scored. So then, you sit around with your girls who have the exact same blind spots and commiserate about what happened to your relationship. None of them can tell you what happened, because they don’t understand the game.

Unfortunately, when you try to EXPLAIN the game, a lot of women get upset! hahaha That’s fine by me as long as they learn something and expand their minds. They don’t have to like ME, because I’m not going to date them anyway! :D As long as they learn something that helps them deal better the next time something happens that they don’t understand, I’ve done my part for females around the world.

IMO, it doesn’t help women to patronize them and tell them to cut all their hair off or buy a new dress and try again in the morning. It doesn’t help women to tell them “Don’t bother working out and getting in shape! We’re going to sell maternity dresses to ALL OF Y’ALL so you don’t have to worry about Muffin-Tops”. What if guys started doing that? What if guys started wearing pants where their beltline was right under their chests? Women would SCREAM. BLOODY. MURDER because everybody’d be walking around looking like Pee Wee Herman. So, Yeah… The Kid’s gonna suggest that you put down the maternity dresses and start buying clothes that fit YOUR physique and look good on YOU, not on the mannequin. If you don’t want your man to dress you, learn how to dress yourself instead of falling off the cliff with the rest of the lemmings and doing what you’re told.

So feel free to get mad at me and scoff at me and turn your noses up and claim I don’t know what I’m talking about. The only reason I even bother TALKING to you is because I love you.

*MUAHZ*

DatingGenius: Channeling What Women Want! :D
(Tag line credit goes FULLY to B. Wilson!)

David Duchovny made the news recently for entering a rehabilitation facility for sex addiction. This made me wonder how it’s determined that someone’s a sex addict.

Nowadays, the scheme is to make everything a disease so they can sell you the medication to fix yourself. You’re not MAD AS HELL… you have anger management issues. You’re not BORED AS HELL, you have attention deficit disorder. You’re not OBESE, you have weight management issues. You’re not SHORT THAN A MUG, you’re vertically challenged. You’re not a BUM, you’re homeless. You didn’t DIE, you passed on…..

Anyway…

So I decided to research exactly what it’s supposed to mean when they say someone’s sexually addicted or addicted to sex. Interestingly, I came across a great article that my friend Rachel Kramer Bussel wrote in November, 2007 for The Huffington Post, entitled “Am I A Sex Addict? Are You?”, which is really technical and virtually saturated with links on the topic, so if you’re interested in more background on this topic, go read Rachel’s post. :)

Bill & Rachel

Now… It took me a long-ass-time to research this stuff, because like I said earlier, the scheme nowadays is to take some normal-ass behavior and claim that it’s a problem so they can get your money to ‘fix’ you. Here are opening paragraphs to some of the sites I visited: Read the rest of this entry »

Guys don’t like to follow the rules when they try to meet girls in a group. There’s a pecking order which has been automatically determined by the individual characteristics of each of the guys YOU chose to hang out with on this particular run. Whether you know it or not, what’s going to happen for you this evening is not just LUCK, but it’s also a function of the ‘team’ you’ve assembled. TEAM is in quotes, because it’s usually actually a motley crew, and there’s really no TEAMWORK involved in the entire evening. My suggestion is that you a) Figure out your standing amongst your homeboys, b) Play Your Position and c) Act Like You Know! :D

Wikipedia has this to say about Dominance Hierarchies:

A dominance hierarchy or social hierarchy is an organizational form by which individuals within a community control the distribution of resources within the community. Dominance hierarchies are formed when a group of individuals belonging to the same species share a territory.

Dominance hierarchies can be despotic or linear. In a despotic hierarchy, one individual controls all the other individuals. In a linear hierarchy, of which the classic example of pecking order in hens is often cited, each individual has a rank in the hierarchy.

Dominance hierarchies occur in most social animal species, including primates who normally live in groups. Dominance hierarchies have been extensively studied in fish, birds, and mammals. Dominance hierarchies can be simple linear structures, which often arise from the physical differences among individuals in a group in relation to their access to resources. They are also influenced by the complex social interactions among individuals in the group.

Like I said, the dominance hierarchy is set up automatically. It’s merely the difference between who YOU are, and who the guy next to you is. You don’t have to agree to it or even LIKE it. It’s a fact. Forget about the guys you don’t even know that are going to be there… Depending on whom you hang out with, you might be bringing your worst competition WITH YOU to the party. :D This is why the intelligent group knows who the top dogs are and acts accordingly.

While this article’s mainly for the fellaz, it applies to the chicks also. If you *INSIST* on hanging out with girls magnitudes more physically attractive than you are, do NOT expect to be the first chick rapped to when you meet a bunch of guys… EVAR! :D Life isn’t fair. It’s not HER TURN this week and YOUR TURN next week, hahaha it’s ALWAYS *HER* turn. Recognize… and Act Like You Know. :)

Your social life will be much better when you realize and accept your position in the crew. You can stop banging your head against brick walls and ease back and enjoy the perks of NOT being the team leader. Your role is support. You’re there to assist the team leader in MAKING IT HAPPEN! What you are *NOT* there to do is battle with the top dog(s) for girls you will never pull over them in the first place.

The way we live in the USA, and especially in New York City, everybody wants the best of everything. This leads to massive amounts of competition. Kickin’ it to chicks is no exception. Every gal you meet has a specific set of likes and dislikes she’s consciously or subconsciously operating from. Off the bat, you’re at an advantage or disadvantage compared to the next man. Does that mean you CAN’T get the rap if you start out on the losing end? Hellz Naw! :D You’ll be in a much better position to operate if you recognize the game and play it where it lays.

You lose if:

• She likes taller guys and you’re shorter
• She likes athletic guys and you’re out of shape
• She likes rich guys and you’re broke
• She likes original guys and you’re derivative
• She likes smart guys and you’re an idiot
• She likes funny guys and your jokes are dry as hell
• He’s driving a Caddy, you’re fixin’ a Ford

You get the picture. Now if the guy trumping you isn’t a friend of yours, you’re in for a loooooong night if you still insist on trying to pull that female. If he IS your friend, then all you need is some strategy. Unfortunately for you, not being the top dog, that “strategy” might mean you don’t get the rap to that chick AT.ALL! haha However, for playing your position and facilitating the rap of the team leader, you will receive perks… trickle-down… the extra chicks that flock to the team leader, but can’t kick it to him because their girl is trying to get on! :D

Sometimes, trickle-down is the BEST THING EVER!!! Sometimes, the hottest chicks aren’t there yet when you and your crew arrive. As soon as the team leaders choose ladies to rap to, they’re locked in. When that better-looking homegirl shows up, the leaders have to “eat that” and introduce them to the guys that have been holding off the cockblockers for them. hahahahaha CHA-CHING!!! $$$$$ :D

If you refuse to play your position and take what you can get, you make things tougher for ALL of your friends to get on. Sure, healthy competition’s good when you first walk in the door, but when you see she’s digging your friend, step to the left and let him get some light. When you see that extra chick eyeballing his conversation, take one for the team and go over there and distract her. Meanwhile, the team leader will see if the gal he’s talking to has a hawt sister or cousin available for you.

The Kid learned this lesson the hard way one day, hahaha. About five of us had descended upon these chicks in a McDonald’s, and I was probably 4th on the totem pole, meaning second from the LAST GUY that should have gotten a rap from those chicks, hahaha. IIRC, the top three guys rolled up on the same girl, or maybe two girls and I had a clear shot to this other one, so I sat down and started saying whatever garbage was in my repertoire at the time.

All of a sudden, from over my left shoulder, MY WORST NIGHTMARE APPEARS, the #1!… Boom! He sits down and starts talking to this chick that I was OOOOOBVIOUSLY talking to solo and her attention disappeared from me, immediately! It was like somebody activated “The Cones of Silence” or like I had disappeared or something. I couldn’t BELIEVE it. I was sooooo mad! :D

However, upon tactical discussion after the fact, it became clear to me that a) I hadn’t physically imposed myself upon her position enough for it to look like I was doing anything other than distracting her from the main rap, as the wingman’s *supposed* to do, and b) Just because I got there first didn’t mean she wanted to talk to ME more than the team leader, so the fact that she was so easily distracted meant that I should have just played my position and given him room to operate.

OTOH, sometimes, it’s just The Kid’s day, and there’s nothing anybody can do to stop the bum rush! :D If it’s ON, it’s ON… Which is why I can write stuff like this all year ’round, and I’ll STILL have more female friends than most of y’all have family members! :D

Anyway… It’s a tough pill to swallow, but trust & believe, it’s in your best interest. Assess your situation, go for what you want, but make sure you have contingency plans. You might have your heart SET on “chick A”, but if she’s feelin’ your homeboy, stop catchin’ feelin’s, facilitate his rap, back his play, associate with the next chick…

Who knows? Looks aren’t everything. You might be getting the better deal! :D

DatingGenius
 
 

L = Lindsey Chen B = Bill Cammack

B: Since Lindz and I got on the chicks about mistakes they make when trying to get a guy, it’s only fair that we let the fellaz know what THEY’RE doing wrong as well. :D

1) Wearing the same clothes

B: No… I don’t mean rocking the same gear every day… I mean dressing up the same way as the guy next to you… and the guy next to him… and the guy next to him…….

See, unfortunately, everybody had the same idea you had and went to the mall and bought the exact same shirt. So… Instead of indicating that you’re aware of the fashion trends, you’re indicating that you’re a drone. You have no personal style. Everybody knows that when someone else dictates to you that you should wear something different, that’s what you’re gonna do. No good.

Figure out stuff that YOU like to wear and that YOU look good in and that represents who YOU are as a person, and make up your own style. Separate yourself from the pack. Be that ONE GUY that the chicks want to ask where you shop instead of knowing off the bat from the second you walk in the door with your pack of croanies that look exactly the same as you do.

L: Clothes not only define a person’s personality, but also makes them memorable. At least if you hit it off with a girl, she can remember you by “that guy that was wearing the red and white striped pants” instead of “that guy with the hair”

B: So Funny! :D That happens all the time! “Remember Lisa from Jon’s party?” “Jeans or Skirt?” “Skirt” “Black or Blue” “Black” “The one with the…” “Yeah, Her” “Yeah… What about her?” :D

2) Not having anything in common with her

B: Major Mistake. Major. Choosing a chick to be your girlfriend just because you enjoy hitting it. Is there any other reason TO choose a girlfriend? no. :D However, eventually, you’re going to get bored of tapping it for the gazillionth time, or she’s gonna get out of shape. In either case, you’ll suddenly experience an increase in the time you spend NOT having sex with her. This is where you’ll realize that you have nothing in common with her other than sex and start looking for your way out of the relationship (unless she gets back in shape, in which case, all bets are off! :D ).

Do yourself a favor and make sure you have things in common with your girl so that you can still have a good time with her during “the off season”. Maybe you both like video games. Maybe you both enjoy eating out @ the different restaurants in your town. Maybe you both enjoy watching MMA fights. If so… make sure she knows Jiu-Jitsu so you can kick her ass and she can take it…. um… or maybe she’ll kick YOUR ass for stepping to her sideways! :D

L: VERY TRUE! And like I said before, things in common that don’t count: breathing, eating, showering (and if it does, get the hell outta there), walking, etc… you get the point, right?

3) Bragging about what you have / own Read the rest of this entry »

So… A few hours ago @ Brian‘s party, The Kid made a new friend… Well… Until she actually reads my blog, hahaha :D Her name is Jess, and she blogs @ Jess and Josh Talk About Stuff.

So, naturally, this morning, the mandatory e-Stalking session was in order. :D

I immediately landed on a series of posts entitled “The Great Catcalling Experiment”, and of course, The Kid was like awwwwwww here we GO!!! :D

I thought I’d comment on some excerpts from Jess’ series…..

“Jezebel just posted an article analyzing CNN’s lovely story entitled, “Catcalls – Creepy or Complimentary?” Hey, CNN – allow me to answer that question for you, since as a PYT living in New York, I am constantly the victim of bordering-on-sexual-harassment-catcalls.”

Read the rest of this entry »

L = Lindsey Chen B = Bill Cammack

L: There are millions (and counting) of girls out there who are single. Some of them prefer to be single, but for the most part, they just can’t get a guy. Why? These girls are eligible bachelorettes, good looking, have a career and (for the most part) aren’t crazy. They are just breaking some simple rules when trying to get a guy. And that’s probably because they don’t realize they are making these obvious mistakes. My advice? Follow the rules and it should be smooth sailing from here on out.

1) Looking in all the wrong places

L: It’s Friday night and you’re all dressed up to head to the coolest bar or as I like to call it, “frat boy feeding grounds.” This is your first indication that you’re in the wrong place. The second indication is that guys are fist pumping while dancing to “My Humps” and any other song by R. Kelly. These guys are classy. Real classy. Do you want to hook up with these guys? Probably not. So why are you there? You’re better off meeting someone doing something you like i.e. Museums, concerts, Art galleries or even a lounge. Already you’ll have something to talk about and eliminate the problem of meeting Mr. Douchebag who you’ll have to talk to for at least 7 minutes when he buys you a drink and then force him off of you because he’s too drunk to even have a proper conversation. I’ll explain the 7 minute rule later.

B: Spot-On, hahaha I can always tell what kind of girls are going to be in a spot by the kinds of guys I see there. Maybe there’s some variety when a place first opens, but eventually, the bar achieves a certain “personality”, and the same type of people tend to flock to it. The more these people show up, the less OTHER people show up, because it becomes less their scene. Eventually, places become known for certain types of guys that go there. Once that happens, girls who are into those types of guys go to those places… and girls that DON’T like those types of guys avoid those places.

The problem occurs when it’s “girls’ night out” and one of your homegirls picks a bar with the types of guys SHE likes, but not the types YOU like. If this is the case, make sure you rotate who gets to choose the venue! :D

Meeting someone doing something you like is a way better option, because you definitely have something in common and even if you don’t want to go to a museum and see who shows up there, there are online groups like http://meetup.com where people figure out what interests they share and then make plans to get together IRL.

2) Giving them your number and expecting them to call

L: If a guy asks for your number, OK give it to him. There’s about a 35% chance that he’ll call. But don’t just shove your number in his pocket (or better yet, write it on his hand) and expect him to call. That screams, SLUT! Here’s you’re first mistake. You’re too aggressive. Half the fun is the chase and if you put yourself out there like that, you’re coming across as too easy. Guys don’t like that. If guys wanted an easy girl, he’d go to the local strip club or pick up the first girl on the corner of the street. At least he wouldn’t have to waste his time conversing with you. Anyway, these aren’t the guys that you’re going for, right? You’re to classy for that kind of shit.

B: That’s just the thing. If you give a guy your number when he didn’t ask you for it, he’s either thinking that you’re sweating him or that you give your number to everybody. If he was planning on calling you anyway, then good for you for indicating that you like him also. If he WASN’T planning on calling you, he’ll still take your number, just in case. So if he doesn’t crumple it up and discard it after you walk away, you *might* get a call after he runs down the list of chicks he ACTUALLY wanted to hang out with that night.

Your best bet is to make him so interested in you that he’s DYING to get your number before letting you out of his sight. ;)

3) Allowing the guys to buy you unlimited drinks Read the rest of this entry »

Relatively often, I hear some sob story from some chick about how she doesn’t appreciate the way a guy stepped to her or talked to her. I don’t mean random guys on the street that don’t even know the women they’re talking to. I’m talking about when a guy’s already built some kind of rapport with a gal, and she just can’t believe what this guy said or did today.

As usual, women try to figure out what role THEY played in the scenario… when most of the time, they’re merely catalysts. If a guy kicks it to them while they’re wearing sweats, they go “but I wasn’t dressed sexy!”. If a guy invites himself to their house, they go “but I wasn’t acting like I wanted him to come over” or “but I didn’t TELL HIM I wanted company”.

Ladies, do yourselves a favor… Stop thinking about *YOURSELVES* for once, and think about the guy. Think about what his motivations are… Even for TALKING TO YOU in the first place. If you focus on his motivations without trying to turn it into a function of YOUR importance, you’ll be able to see clearly.

The first thing you should consider is that there’s a possibility that he doesn’t care what you say or think, AT. ALL. Of course, this is tough to fathom, because you’re assuming that because a guy is talking to you that he’s having an intellectual, meaningful conversation with you. Unfortunately for you, guys happen to know that women require conversation in order to get to the good part. This means that there’s a good probability that he’s only talking to you so he can stay in the game long enough for you to decide that you feel like giving him some.

Now… If you can step away from the trees so you can visualize the forest… Lots of your interactions with guys is pure game… tactics. By the time a guy meets you, he’s bringing to the table the sum of his experiences with girls and women up to the present day. Depending on whom he’s been dating / having sex with / spending time with before meeting you, he may or may *not* be mentally prepared to deal with YOU properly. This can lead to communication breakdowns / scenes / arguments that are entirely his fault, because you’re mentally out of his league.

There are two reasons for this… Getting On… and Socialization.

Guys will basically develop themselves, game-wise, to be able to function at the lowest possible level which allows them to have sex with women they’re attracted to.

Now… Depending on the type of chicks they like, that might not be much mental development at all. :D If he likes to sit on couches after 2am hoping that a chick is drunk enough at that point to give him some, no questions asked… If that works for him, he’s not going to develop his game past there. If a guy just has a look that women like, and he can pull different chicks every day… He’s not going to put any effort into mental development. If a guy has gimmicks and tricks that work every time, or chicks like his Porsche or whatever, again, no development.

So then he meets you, and you consider yourself sophisticated and intelligent. He wants to get on with you too, except alcohol, his looks, his gimmicks and his car aren’t making it happen for him. :) This means he actually has to TALK to you. This is how we end up in the scenario I started with. This guy who really has nothing to say to you and doesn’t care what you have to say either is at a loss for tactics so all he can do is stall until he can figure out the winning play. This is why guys get defensive or try to talk over you or leave a conversation when you’re winning it. They didn’t want to talk to you in the first place, MUCH LESS lose an argument to some chick! :D Also, if they kept talking, it was going to become obvious to you that you’re smarter than they are, and then the jig is up!

Socialization, or lack thereof, with intelligent and/or classy women is also a major factor in how a guy’s going to be able to interact with you in a dating scenario. It’s very easy for guys to dress up in suits and put on shiny shoes and pay for tables in the right bars. All you need for that is MONEY. What they can’t buy is CLASS. Class is achieved through fraternization and socialization with classy people. When someone does something that you admire, you may absorb that trait and carry it with you, going forward. Similarly, the only way to learn how to carry yourself around classy women is to BE AROUND classy women. It’s on-the-job training.

Unfortunately, not all guys get the opportunity to have extensive amounts of genuine authentic interaction with women of high calibre. This makes sense, because the top women are striving to spend time with the top men. This creates, basically, an ‘underclass’ of men who can dress themselves appropriately and have the right jobs and acquaintances and houses and bank accounts…. but they don’t have the slightest clue about how to interact with a woman who carries herself regally and exudes an air of respectability.

So here you are… wondering why your boyfriend (or at least a potential suitor) says and does such STUPID things, when the reason is that you’re BETTER THAN HIM and your man is quite literally a fish out of water in your presence. So, Stop thinking about what YOU’RE doing wrong or what you’re doing to bring about this situation, and consider that your man just MIGHT NOT be mentally and/or socially equipped to step his game up to the level you request, expect and demand.

Here’s ONE of those situations where women have their rap game seriously screwed up. :) … I mean *SRSLY*!!! hahahaha

How many women have you heard complain that a guy wants to have sex with them, or at least complain that he’s thinking about it?

I’m not talking about in a business situation. I’m talking about in dating situations. For instance, as far as online dating… How many times have you heard women complain about providing full-body pics to potential suitors? Guys they’re already kicking it to and interested in dating.

First of all… If you’re not physically attractive… Why are you trying to be slick? :) If you EVER go out with him IRL, he’s going to see what your body looks like anyway. This is one of the reasons a lot of chicks get dumped after their first date. They go to these extreme lengths to hide what they look like, thinking they can get over when the time comes on the strength of their online sales pitch.

Fellaz… Has this ever happened to YOU? HAHAHA The old “Bait & Switch”? You know… How chicks like to use mega-ancient pictures of themselves as if they still look that way? :D How about the good old “Crop The Picture As Close Around Your Eyes As Possible” trick? :D These are all grand tactics for the ladies to get virtual raps, but as soon as he actually sees you, the jig is up!

Second… Women who *ARE* actually physically attractive hide as well. The goal there is to avoid guys who “just want them for their bodies” or selected them “for their looks and not their minds” etc etc… This is all well and good if you’re looking for a debate partner. The fact of the matter is that if you’re reading dating advice, you’re probably trying to pair-bond. The only reason for PBing is sex. Notice how women tend to throw the word “just” in front of “friends” to make “just friends”? All that means is that they’re claiming that they’re not having sex with the guy in question. The barrier between being friends with a chick and being her significant other is sex. Everything else is available to everyone else. When the relationship ends, the “other” loses his significance and returns to GenPop. This is known as Serial Monogamy.

Since you’re dating with the goal of hooking up with a guy as a boyfriend or whatever, and the only delineation between friend and boyfriend is sex, it’s really in your best interest to be as attractive to potential suitors as you can, ASAP. This assists you in two MAJOR components of your rap game:

1) GETTING a man… and then
2) KEEPING a man

Except for guys that have particular fetishes, NOBODY is looking for unattractive women. Nobody. When was the last time you heard someone go “Man! She’s REEEEEEALLY BUSTED! I think I’ll go meet her! :D”? That’s right. Never. How many business owners go to lengths to make their storefronts look shabby in the hopes of getting more customers? None. So why are you hiding your looks or trying to make yourself look corny in pictures? Why not put your best foot forward? Will you end up with more creeps and trolls? Yes you will. :) You will ALSO end up with more viable suitors so you can get out of the game faster and not have to deal with any of this after you PB.

I understand that there’s an issue that women have where guys don’t pay attention to their minds AT ALL, and they’re trying to narrow the field down to guys that would talk to them anyway, IF they actually were busted. It’s like those experiments they do when they dress up attractive chicks in these sumo-wrestler-body outfits and take them to the mall and film it. The chicks find it amazing how invisible they are, because they totally didn’t believe that their physical attractiveness was what was getting them attention.

Meanwhile, MSM sells women products all day, every day, so they can get in shape and fix their hair properly and have makeup on and eat the right things and wear the right clothes for their body-type, etc. If your looks are so important to you that you spend money to maintain and enhance them, why play yourself down when it comes to meeting someone that you’re planning and HOPING to have sex with?

Then again, :) Maybe you’re NOT planning or hoping to have sex with someone you meet through online dating. The newsflash for you is that that’s called a FRIEND, and you don’t have to date to get those. :D