ok.. So I’m watching one of my new favorite shows, Millionaire Matchmaker, and this dude that has a mohawk haircut in the year 2010 and two earrings is describing one of the millionaires that’s going to be on the show this week and he goes “He is basically a misogynist”.

So when I hear that, I’m now prepared to listen to evidence of how this guy hates women….. because that’s what misogyny is.

Webster’s – “Definition of MISOGYNY : a hatred of women”

That’s it. That’s all it says.

So then the dude continues by saying “He thinks every woman loves him and should serve him”. And I’m like “Where’s the part about him hating women?”

Then, the guy being accused of being a misogynist digs the hole amazingly deeper for himself with his own videotape that he sent in to Patti to be considered for her show or dating services or whatever. He goes “There’s $2 hoes and then there’s $20 hoes… When I first meet a woman, I wanna… I wanna feel like she’s a $2 ho”, laughs heartily at his own joke and then adds “Asian women are great, I mean they know who’s the boss… The truth is, I’m looking for a petite girl, right, you know?.. Not a size 2 or a size 4, but a size 0.”

Now, I’m not going to bother getting into the myriad reasons why you first of all don’t want to say stuff like that to a chick to begin with and you CERTAINLY don’t want to say stuff like that to a gal that’s supposed to HOOK YOU UP with a chick, because this post would be like 8x longer. The reason I bring it up is that even though this guy isn’t the sharpest pencil in the box when it comes to meeting girls, nothing that he said indicates that he HATES women, which is what misogyny is.

So I thought my suffering was over, but then Patti threw the word around at least four more times during the show, describing this guy. It then became clear to me that ‘misogyny’ is one of those words that’s been co-opted to mean something it actually doesn’t mean and this has been accepted by a lot of people and disseminated as truth.

Evolution Of A Label

I figured this was a new development. It isn’t. Wikipedia sheds light on this situation for us: (I’ve added the bold font to the parts that are relevant to this discussion)

In the late 20th century, feminist theorists alleged that misogyny is both a cause and result of patriarchal social structures.

Traditional feminist theorists paint many different attitudes as misogyny. According to feminists, in its most overt expression, a misogynist will openly hate all women simply because they are female.

In feminist theory, other forms of misogyny may be less overt. Some alleged misogynists may simply be prejudiced against all women, or may hate women who do not fall into one or more acceptable categories. Subscribers to one model claim that some misogynists think in terms of the mother/whore dichotomy, where they hold that women can only be “mothers” or “whores.” Another variant model is the one alleging that certain men think in terms of a virgin/whore dichotomy, in which women who do not adhere to an Abrahamic standard of moral purity are considered “whores”.

The term misogynist is frequently used in a looser sense as a term of derision to describe anyone who holds a distasteful view about women as a group. Therefore, someone like Schopenhauer who proposes naturalistic reasons for various behaviors common to women is often regarded as a misogynist. As another, particularly striking example, man who is considered by many including himself to be “a great lover of women,” is often regarded as being misogynist. Examples of this type of man would be Giacomo Casanova and Don Juan, who were both reputed for their many libertine affairs with women.

In feminist theory, misogyny is a negative attitude towards women as a group, and so need not fully determine a misogynist’s attitude towards each individual woman. The fact that someone holds misogynist views may not prevent him or her from having positive relationships with some women.

Conversely, simply having negative relationships with some women does not necessarily mean someone holds misogynistic views. The term, like most negative descriptions of attitudes, is used as an epithet and applied to a wide variety of behaviors and attitudes – often as a personal attack.

So now I understand how people played the telephone game (A children’s game where you sit in a circle and one person whispers something in the next person’s ear. That person whispers what they THOUGHT they heard into the next person’s ear and by the time it comes around to the last person and they say the sentence, it’s often drastically different from what the original person said) with this word to the point where, today, anybody that has anything less-than-flowery-and-flattering to say to or about women is likely to be silently (or, in this case, vocally) be labeled a misogynist.

Fumble At The Goal Line

What you can say about this guy is that he has a specific kind of girl he likes and he has a specific purpose for wanting to meet girls. Nothing he said (according to the edit of the show) indicated that he hated or even disliked women. Even saying that Asian women know who’s the boss is merely his admission that he believes that particular stereotype.. It’s not hatred.

In fact, when I saw what he sent Patti for his audition, I thought he was playing it up for the cameras so that he’d be such a sad sack that she’d be DYING to a) take his money, b) set him up with a hawt chick, and c) put him on television, where the REAL potential for pulling chicks is.

That impression went down the tubes when they showed what happened on his date. :D

For some reason, Patti decided to have each potential date make a drink for their millionaire. The chick he ended up selecting made a really stupid move and tried to mix vodka with tabasco sauce. I thought he was going to let that slide, but while they were out on their date, it came up in conversation and she asked him what he thought about it, to which he replied “I actually was thinking, kind of, ‘Bimbo’ :D”.

Of course, chick tightened up like a DRUM and his chances of getting on plummeted. At that point, I was like “ok.. This guy honestly either doesn’t know or doesn’t care about what he’s doing when he kicks it to chicks”.

First of all, I had to look up the word “” because I’m pretty sure people stopped using that word sometime around 1920 AD, just in time for the prohibition era. Turns out that it means “A woman who is physically attractive but has a low intelligence or poor education”. That’s bad enough, but I read that it can ALSO be used to mean “a woman who acts in a sexually promiscuous manner”. You’ll notice how neither of those terms are related, but the same word is used to describe both situations, which is precisely what I’m talking about in this article.

So, in 2010-speak, he said either “When I saw you mix vodka with tabasco sauce, I thought that even though you’re physically attractive, you are either of low intelligence, poor education, or both”, or “When I saw you mix vodka with tabasco sauce, I thought that it wouldn’t be too difficult to get you to have sex with me”. Either statement amounts to WOMP-WOMP-WOMP-WAAAAAAAAH, the traditional sound that you hear when someone loses on a game show.

Make Sense, Not Love

During the show, Patti brought in this female relationship expert / sex therapist who said blah blah blah and then the dude goes “I appreciate your, your comments and your ideas and, you know.. It’s hard for me to really relate to all this female, like, you know.. hocus-pocus, psychological stuff, but, uh.. You know.. I’m willing to listen. :)”

I’m sure that THAT was seen as a misogynistic statement as well, haha but all he was basically saying was that he doesn’t subscribe to OR believe in illogical concepts such as “If you meet a chick that’s a 7 (in looks), if you get to know her and fall in love with her, she’ll look like a 10 to you”. That stuff just doesn’t make any sense. :)

With guys, its’ not like the gal looks better, but rather that we’re willing to let her slide for her lack of looks and hook up with her anyway (or date her or marry her or whatever). The dude knows damned well that his girlfriend’s a 3, except during the times when he’s sporting his Beer Goggles, in which case, she looks like Paula Abdul:

Rocks in Boxes

I guess my point is that a distinction needs to be made between people that actually hate women and guys that are willing to go out with (Edited after Nik’s comment) specifically seek out and ONLY agree to date women that are attractive and have nice bodies, even if they have zero earning potential and happen to be dumb as a box of rocks.

Especially if you’re a millionaire, who gives a flying **** whether she has a job or not.. or can count to 10 for that matter? It just doesn’t matter, so long as she looks good and you enjoy spending time with her. That’s not a statement of hatred. That’s a statement of fact. If a gal has a million dollars and I have five dollars, what do we have together? o_O .. That’s right. $1,000,005 USD. My amount of contribution is approximately NOTHING when it comes to money.. not even the proverbial drop in the bucket.

By calling guys who see women in a different light than you do “misogynists”, you’re doing yourself a disservice. For example.. If you’re a female and your boss likes chicks with nice asses and you deserve a promotion, you might GET that promotion, whether your ass is nice or not. If, OTOH, your boss is an actual misogynist, you’re probably not getting that well-deserved promotion and you’re lucky that he had to hire you at all because of quotas or whatever.

A guy who likes attractive girls will probably walk you home after an event if it isn’t far out of his way. A misogynist probably will not, because who cares whether you get home or not? o_O

It just doesn’t do any good to add different meanings to words or terms that already have meanings. Look at “Bimbo”. Dude might have thought he was playfully calling her silly and she might have interpreted it as him blatantly calling her a slut to her face. \o/ Do everyone a favor and make up and disseminate new words to go with new concepts.

Does this mean that just because dude is most definitely NOT a misogynist that women are going to want to date him? No. Not actually. :D I’m just sayin’.. If you know any petite, size 0, hawt-looking Asian women who know who’s the boss, let ‘em know there’s a millionaire available! ;)
–
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There’s a post on the website MomLogic entitled “Married Women Hate Sex”. They surveyed 2500 married women and found that “50% of women find sex either depressing, embarrassing or a hassle”… smh :/

Here are some other interesting percentages from their survey:

 
NOW YOU KNOW a brotha had to STOP. RIGHT. THERE. when I read “26% would rather read a book! :D For those of you not hip to the DatingGenius vault of golden oldies, I wrote Take her to the Book Store! over a year ago, on November 10, 2007 after I had heard one of the funniest and most ridiculous things I had heard in quite a while. :) I had met this chick, who shall remain nameless, and she was all HAPPY about the fact that she had gone out on a date with some guy and he had taken her to the book store after going out to eat or whatever they did first.

So I’m waiting for the good part, like that he took her to that particular store, because he knew they had a spacious bathroom that locks from the inside where he could isolate her and make some moves, but they actually checked out BOOKS while they were there! :/

So, after I asked her directly whether she was kidding and determined that she was honestly happy about this date, I asked her “So… What does that prove? That you like to read books with him?” and she was still all happy and gleeful over this ridiculously boring date.

I ended up changing my valuation of “bookstore technique” and said so in “It’s The End of The World as We Know It! :(“. It turns out that the guy that pulled it off became her boyfriend and is now living with her, so PLAY ON, PLAYAH!!! and Congrats! to our friend who shall also remain nameless, for being a pioneer in the space and using such rudimentary tactics to such excellent effect! *clap*clap*clap* :D

I realize now, from this MomLogic survey why this worked for him. This is actually pretty brilliant. He kicked it to her as if they were already married! :D Is that GREAT or what? Instead of rapping to her like he wanted to have sex with her, he rapped to her as if he DIDN’T! :D Fantastic! He gave her the experience (which she ended up living into) of how it would be when they were at home together, a loving couple, both reading books. How was *I* supposed to know that 54% of married women admit they’re the ones who don’t want to have sex and 26% would rather read a book??? Playboi was ahead of the curve, FOR REAL! hehe I’m impressed. :D

However… Getting back to the point of this “Sexless Marriage” thing, it’s like, HUHHH???

Comedians have been saying for ages that sex goes down the drain when people get married, but come on people… 54% don’t want to hook up with “The One”? hahaha omg, that’s pathetic. I mean, you went through all. that. trouble. to corral this ONE guy, and now, you’re like “meh” in the bedroom? :) … But I bet it’s not cool if the next chick comes along and gets her Monica on, right?… uh huh.

Now, there are legitimate reasons why women stop wanting to have sex with their husbands, such as:

 
But let’s get down to brass tacks here… FELLAZ!!!… If YOUR WOMAN would rather take a bubble bath than mess with you……….

THAT’S…… YOUR……. FAULT!

What happened to all those slick tactics you used to get the panties to drop in the first place? :D What happened to your STYYYYYLE? Your TECHNIQUE? :D Did you pull HER, or did SHE pull YOU? Shouldn’t it be EASIER for you to get her to lay down NOW than it was before you even knew her? Knew her parents? Read books with her? Had kids with her? Come on, man. Brush up on those skillz and get back in the game.

See, we’re always snapping on women for lampin’ on the couch eating bon bons and letting their bodies get into all kinds of states of disrepair, but what about YOU? What are YOU doing to make sure your woman still feels sexy around you or BECAUSE OF YOU? Apparently, 54% of y’all need to get back on your flower game… or your poetry game… or break out those Slow Jam Tapes that you used to use to get her in the mood… or get back in shape… or take her out on dates AS IF you’re trying to get up in there for the first time! Sheesh! Do SOMETHING! :D

If you can’t get THAT back together, at least go the domestic route. You might actually have to babysit every once in a while (yes, yes, I know, I know. A guy can’t actually “babysit” his own kid hahaha), so she can feel like she can relax or take a nap or do something she WANTS to do instead of paying attention to a baby 24/7. You might have to pick up that spatula and make some breakfast. You might have to let her know that even with the baby fat, you’re still willing to / interested in tappin’ that. You might have to sign her up for spinning classes while you’re “babysitting”. You might have to go buy her new lingerie, since the pre-kid stuff doesn’t fit anymore.

Do SOMETHING, dude. Don’t just let her sit there and sulk. Unless you’re just one of those book-reading type of guys, it’s YOUR sex life that went down the drain along with hers! :/

~Bill

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According to Webster’s, a misanthrope is a person who hates or distrusts humankind. Now… Just because you hate people in general, that doesn’t mean that you can’t date them, or that you shouldn’t. :D

Most likely, the reason you don’t like people isn’t because of the way they look, smell or taste… It’s probably that they say retarded things that get on your very last nerve. You’re gaining insight into their personalities or lack of education which increases the natural disdain that you had for them the first time you ever laid eyes on them.

All you need to do is follow The Kid‘s 5 tips for dating people you don’t actually like or have a shred of respect for, and you’ll be happily dating in no time! :D

1) Take your dates to the movies

In order for you to successfully date, you need to AVOID hearing what the other person has to say at all costs. The less you hear, the more you’re going to like her and the better your date will be. Invite her out to the movies. Tell her you’ll get the tickets, and to meet you right at the theater at the exact time that the movie’s scheduled to start. Oh… do this by text message or email so as to avoid any unnecessary yammering she might do which will cause you to bail out on the date. Also find out if she wants popcorn, soda, etc ahead of time, so you can stock up on those before she meets you.

When she gets there, kiss her “hello”, give her some random compliment, like about he eyes or her hair, give her her food and hurry into the theater before she can strike up a conversation. If she starts talking before you get down the hall, ask her if her popcorn has enough butter on it so she starts eating it.

You may have to suffer a bit through the commercials, but once the movie starts, you’re golden. Do the “Richie Cunningham” to get your arm around her, then relate to her for the next two hours via touch and eye contact. When she tries to actually say something, shush her, reminding her that you’re both listening to the movie… together!… then go back to touch and eye contact.

Also, make sure you informed her you’d have to skate (slang for “leave really quickly”) right after the movie, when you initially made plans with her. Credits roll. Kiss her good night. Tell her you had a great time and then break north with no delay.

2) Take your dates to loud places

I discovered this technique by accident. I was in a bar, speaking with someone and barely able to hear them. I guess the crowd got louder, because someone turned the music up, and I was no longer able to hear this person that I was right next to. My first instinct was to wait it out, figuring that I’d be able to understand them a few seconds later. That never happened. What DID happen was….. They kept talking as long as I kept looking at them and nodding! :D

This style is INVALUABLE for a misanthrope! All you have to do is take her to a place that you know plays loud music, like a dance club or a concert. It’s the best of both worlds. You can still utilize your touch and eye contact skillz that you perfected during your many movie theater dates, but you can’t hear a single word she’s saying! :D

Compound the effectiveness of this technique by imagining that she’s saying really intelligent and fascinating things that make you feel more love and respect for her by the minute.

Just as the concert’s ending or they’re turning on the lights in the club, tell her you have to skate, and break north with no delay.

3) Make sure your date is insanely physically attractive

Of course, this is your goal in ANY dating situation… but it’s extra-important for misanthropes. The better-looking she is, the more bullshit you’ll be able to tolerate.

Physically, this has something to do with chemicals released in your body when she’s around that keep you from doing stupid things, such as erasing her number or moving in the opposite direction of her present location. Mentally, it’s like Spike Lee said in “She’s Gotta Have It”:

“You don’t throw away a Rolls Royce because it has a dent in it”

On top of that (no pun intended), the better-looking she is, the more time you’ll spend having sex with her, which means the less time she’ll be talking. I mean, yeah, she’ll probably be bumbling and stammering like an idiot, but at least you’ll be able to convince yourself that the reason she can’t form proper English sentences right now is because you’re hittin’ that spot! :D

4) Make sure you use condoms

If there’s ONE THING a misanthrope hates more than dating a person they think is beneath them….. Is that a fair statement? Probably not. You can probably hate someone without thinking you’re better than they are… Weird… Anyway…..

If there’s ONE THING a misanthrope hates more than dating someone they think is beneath them… it’s accidentally having inferior kids with them. I mean, it’s one thing when someone with no connection to you AT ALL is a blithering idiot, but it’s like if her “dumb genes” happen to be dominant instead of your “smart genes”, you’re gonna be REAL SOUR for at least the next 18 years.

So, you know the drill… If you use these techniques to tolerate her long enough to have sex with her, don’t fumble on the 2-yard line! Wrap it up! No Glove, No Love!… NAH MEEN? :D

5) Learn to talk to yourself

A lot of your problem with people isn’t actually how stupid they are, but rather that you hold all your disdain in and you don’t have an outlet to share how retarded you think people are with someone who COMPLETELY understands what you’re telling them and feels the exact same way about it. This is why you need to become your own traveling commiseration companion:

You: Oh. My. *GOD*, that was the DUMBEST thing I’ve ever heard!
You: I know… she’s an idiot.
You: TELL me about it! DAMN!!!
You: Amazing, isn’t it?
You: omg! grr
You: Ah, well, what did you expect?
You: Yeah… You’re right. Forget it.

See how you calmed yourself down? Learn to do this when you feel yourself losing it, and you’ll be able to keep yourself in the game long enough to get to the good part! :D

~Bill

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