Throwing a party in the year 2010 isn’t what it used to be. We’re all virtually connected now, through Social Media.

Back in the day, it was all about “Come to my party!!! :D” and since nobody knew anybody else online, it was pot luck what happened when you arrived.

That’s over now.

With Facebook, eVite, and a bunch of other sites, you now have access to *ALL* of the information you need in order to determine whether you’re going to a party or not. You know when it is, where it is, how much it costs and who it is that claims they’re going to go. If you need more information than that, you can look up the website to the venue and see the menu, who’s DJing, etc.

Besides the obvious reasons, this is important information because as our Social Media networks expand, we get more invites and there are more overlapping events. As of today, I have 1,905 Facebook friends, which means that if they were evenly spread out throughout the year, it would be FIVE PEOPLE’S BIRTHDAYS, EVERY SINGLE DAY OF THE YEAR.

Not every weekend. Each one of 365 days, it would be FIVE PEOPLE’S birthdays and if they all decided to throw parties ON their birthday, probably three out of those five people are getting bumped… ASSUMING that I wanted to party every single day of my life.

To be fair.. I only know 475 people that live in Manhattan, NYC, 101 that live in Brooklyn, and a few more scattered around the Tri-State Area, so let’s call it 600 people that might throw a party in Manhattan any day of the week… Except… Nobody throws parties on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday. Thursday is a maybe, with Friday and Saturday being definites, so mostly what happens is that the 10 people who celebrated birthdays this week *ALL* want to have their parties on either Friday night or Saturday night between 7pm and 4am.

That’s also not counting *ANY* of the networking parties that companies like to throw on a regular basis, holiday parties, housewarming parties, graduation parties, engagement parties, or even small get-togethers that you plan with friends. When you know a lot of people, there’s a tremendous overlap of Social Engagements.

There are a couple of ways that people deal with this:

Be Everywhere

The solution to this for some people is to attend EVERY party they’re invited to. I had seen this on television, but had never experienced it until a couple of years ago.

A homegirl of mine invited me to hang out with her and some of her friends at an apartment party, so I was like “cool”. We got to the party, everybody’s socializing and ‘getting they DRANK on’, and suddenly someone announces that we’re moving to a different party. I’m thinking “We already have chicks and brews. Why are we going somewhere else?”, but I was rollin’ wit da homies, so we geared up and rolled out.

We show up at some apartment building blocks away and the doorman doesn’t want to let 12 already-drunk people into the building, so we had to wait for someone to call upstairs and have one of the hosts ‘ok’ us. We go upstairs and it’s a MUCH nicer apartment than where we started, with MORE alcohol and HOTTER chicks, so I’m like “nice move, y’all! :D”. The entire group we showed up with dispersed into the crowd and we socialized for maybe an hour, then it was like “We’re going to the next party” and I’m like WHAAAAT? :/

We ended up going to either four or five parties in one evening, with the point being that the people I was hanging out with would be talked about by the people that saw them at each of the parties. It was like a public relations tour. The point wasn’t to socialize, but to Be Seen so their names could be on the tips of everyone’s tongues at the water cooler on Monday.

This is because in that society, name-dropping is where it’s at. First you want to say WHERE the party was or who the host was and then you want to say WHO was there, even if that person didn’t say a single word to you or notice that you were at the party.

Let’s Not, And Say We Did

For most people, that’s neither fun nor interesting. Well, actually, I guess for *MOST* people, they’re lucky if someone they know is throwing a party AT ALL.

I’m saying that for most people that get invited to a ton of stuff, more parties thrown = more parties *MISSED*, not ALL PARTIES ATTENDED for a fraction of the time so other people could say they were at a party with you. :/

It’s YOUR JOB to make your event as attractive to your target audience as possible, as early as possible and as transparently as possible so you end up with the Voltron effect of a buzz starting on the back-channel and multiple people encouraging multiple people that your party is going to be ‘the place to be’ and that everyone should converge in that place and time to REALLY get their party on! :D

Here are some tips on how to maximize attendance at your parties:

1. Make sure your guest list is available on the net

In the movie “Ronin”, De Niro says “I never walk into a place I don’t know how to walk out of”. The same holds true for parties. If you can’t see at least who CLAIMS they’re going to attend a party, you have to assume the worst. You have to assume that nobody you want to see is going to be there and that the party will be populated with people you DON’T want to see. That event automatically drops to the bottom of the list. Seeya!

2. Do not select a venue with a “cover”

If there’s a cover charge to get into the place where you’re throwing a party, ASSUME that your party drops to the bottom of the list. There are too many places in Manhattan that I can walk into for free. I’m not interested in handing someone money to enter a bar. I’m way more likely to take my money 20 steps to the left and walk into a different bar for free and spend my money buying food & drinks. It’s just the principle of the thing.

3. Make sure the bar doesn’t discriminate against guys

Girls wouldn’t know this because they receive special privileges when they go places, such as not having to stand in line “because it’s cold outside”, but there are lots of places in Manhattan that will not allow guys to enter without girls on their arms. I understand why they do this, because they don’t want their bar to become a pick-up joint with guys hovering around the chicks all night, causing the chicks to select a different venue, causing the guys to select a venue with better chicks, causing the bar to shut down entirely.

If I suspect that a) there’s going to be a line to get into a place, and b) that even if I stand on the line, I might get jerked by the doorman because you invited me to a party at a place that doesn’t want to let “single” guys in, I’m not coming.

4. Make sure there’s no line to get in

Speaking of lines.. Nobody that’s been getting their drink on before your party wants to stand in a line for 30 minutes, sobering up. **** that. If you just HAVE to throw your party there, make sure there are provisions for your guests to skip the line by informing the doorman that they’re there for your party. Other than that, you can expect people to follow the path of least resistance and break north instead of waiting on a line in the middle of the night feeling their alcohol wearing off.

5. Sponsor the right things

A lot of companies throw parties and they get “sponsors” to give them money in order to attach their name to the event. If you throw a party that’s sponsored, be intelligent about what you’re allocating your money towards.

I went to one specifically notorious party about a year ago that had claimed to be sponsored and when I got there, the chicken wings were free and the small-ass bottles of beer were NINE ******* DOLLARS!!! >:/

As soon as I found that out, my friend and I rolled *IMMEDIATELY* to a different party that had advertised an open vodka bar for a full hour after we arrived there.

The difference between the two was that you knew you were going to pay for drinks at the second party AFTER the free drinks were over, yet the first party had advertised itself as “sponsored” and not informed you that the free stuff wasn’t anything you actually cared about. Obviously, the hosts of the second party received all the forward-extending feelings of goodwill and the hosts of the first party were never believed again when they advertises a party. Bottom of the list! Seeya! :D

6. Noise

If you’re throwing a dance party, fine.. Make sure the music is loud so people can enjoy themselves. Other than that, make sure that the venue is as quiet as possible (without trying to be a library… shhhhhhhh! :D) so that the people that show up can meet and greet each other and get to know each other without having to shout over the din.

7. Crowd

If you’re planning on having more than five (5) people attend an event, make sure you don’t select a popular location that’s going to be crowded. There are three problems with this. There’s noise, like I just talked about.. There’s the ability for your entire group to get and retain seating, and there’s the ability for your group to re-up with drinks.

Too many people in a bar means that the waitresses are going to be overextended. They’re not going to come around often, and when they do, they won’t be coming back with your drinks soon. There’s also a good chance they’ll get your order wrong, trying to serve so many people.. ESPECIALLY if the people that ordered drinks are now located in different places because you didn’t properly lock down your seating arrangements.

If there’s no waitress, too many people means that the bartenders are overextended or that you can’t even GET to the bar because there’s such a backlog of people that are clamoring to get drinks. Either way, the net result is that the alcohol isn’t flowing the way it’s supposed to and it’s going to put a damper on your party if not cause people to leave early to head to a better-functioning party.

8. Tab

Speaking of people leaving early, coughstevecough, Do *NOT* start group tabs unless you’re willing to eat the entire bill.

When people are partying, they’re not keeping tabs of who came and went or who ordered what, but the waitress is. Do NOT expect people to kick in their share before they walk out the door, because sometimes, they have to leave quickly and forget. Sometimes, they’re too drunk to remember. Sometimes, they’re just like “Let someone else pay for my drinks.. PAYCE!!! :D”.

If you don’t have a “sponsor” picking up the tab, or it’s not a house party where you’re providing the liquor yourself or suggesting that people bring what they’d like to drink, let people know on the invite that you’re getting together at a specific place and that they need to bring cash or their own cards to deal separately with the food and drinks they order.

9. Timing

Plan your parties when other parties aren’t happening. Plan your parties when people aren’t normally partying. Stop feeling yourself that people are going to select your event over all the others. Having your party at 7pm and making sure that the venue sells good and inexpensive food might get a lot of people to show up that would have written you off in the 9pm slot or the 11pm slot or the 1am slot, due to more compelling engagements.

10. Location

Make sure your parties are centrally located within the group of people you’re inviting. If you live in Jersey and your guest list lives mostly in Manhattan, throw your party in Manhattan. If you live uptown, throw your party in the Lower East Side.

Do NOT expect people to come to you if you live somewhere out-of-the-way. When the party’s over, your guests will either have to spend an hour or two in the subway, waiting for and riding the train, or they have a $20 cab bill to look forward to. Not cool. Lots of people would LIKE to attend parties, but because of the location and travel issues, skip it for the path of least resistance.

11. Expense

Do NOT throw parties in expensive places, unless you’re “Ballin’, Shot Callin’” and you’re planning to pay for other people to drink.

When people have to pay $15 for drinks that should cost $5, they don’t spend three times as much.. they become only 1/3 as drunk. That’s no good for your party because people drink more slowly, have less of a good time, bring less energy to your event and are quietly scheming on LEAVING so they can go somewhere with affordable alcohol… Including HOME! :D

On top of that, if people know ahead of time that your venue is expensive, they’re liable to stay longer at the dive bar with the cheap alcohol where they started the evening. The longer they stay there, the more chance they’ll meet someone they want to hang out with for the rest of the night and suddenly, your party takes a dive into the dead pool.

12. Be Reliable

Make sure that when you host an event, what actually happens is congruent with what you advertised in the invitation. Do not have people show up to one bar, only to find out that nobody there has heard of your group because you changed venues and didn’t use your Social Media reach to announce that. Do not advertise that there are going to be a bunch of girls at your event and then there are a bunch of dudes. Do not advertise that it’s free and then there’s a cover. Do not say “Meet me inside” and then the doorman doesn’t want to let guys in without female accompaniment. Do not run up a group tab and then ask the people that are left at the end of the night to chip in for the extra amount from people that left early without paying their share. Do not say you’re sponsored when the alcohol isn’t free. Do not ambush people with hidden guest lists. If you’re charging for the party, make sure your guests know exactly what they’re going to receive for their money.

Nobody’s the only host or ‘draw’ of their parties anymore. Party attendance is viral. Groups of people come to a place to hang out with groups of other people. The number of individual groups you attract to your event determines the overall size of the party.

You might have the free alcohol, but someone else has a visible guest list where others are willing to pay for their own drinks to enjoy those particular people’s company. You might have the fancier venue but your guest isn’t willing to dress up. You might have the trendier venue, but a guy isn’t willing to shell out $30/round for him and his companion for the evening to drink, when it should be $12/round. You might have a party during the exact same time slot, but the other party’s much easier/faster for your guests to get home from…

There are really too many variables in today’s hypernetworked society to assume that YOUR event is the top draw of the evening. It’s in your best interest to make your party transparently as attractive as possible as soon as possible so the buzz gets out there on the back-channel between people checking with other people what they’re doing on that particular evening. Your guests are as important in publicizing your party as you are, if not more so.

The days of “One event per evening” are OVER. You’re not only in competition with the weather, but events going on the same evening, the night before AND the night after, depending on how much time out of the week a person has allocated towards publicly socializing. It’s on you to do the right things so you can maximize your event attendance, expand your sphere of influence and build your rep as a party promoter or connector.

If you have your own party tips, post them in the comments, below. :)

Related Posts

• Google Your Date?
• Target Assessment (Dating)
• Guilt By Association / Social Media Connections
• Ass Out, In The Garbage (Homegirl Epic Failure)
• Safe Sex Tutorial (Big Willie Pockets)

* The text below is the beginning of the video. If you can’t see the video embedded on this page, click here to watch “Safe Sex Tutorial (Big Willie Pockets)” on YouTube. *

Big Willie Pockets

Alright, y’all. New in November, 2009. Today is November 4th and what we’re going to do today is we’re going to talk about Safe Sex, but we’re going to get into some more interesting topics than what you normally hear about.

Now.. Let’s say you’re chillin’, right, so here’s you, you’re hangin’ out. You’re having a good time. You’re Big Willie, You’ve got the big pockets, right? The big BIG pockets. DEEP POCKETS, Money for days…

Now, you’re chillin’ you go to the club and you meet a chick, right? So she’s smiling, like everything’s groovy, so you’re feeling like everything’s groovy too. So you decide, unfortunately for you, not to use safe sex, right? So, next thing you know, BOOM.. waah, waah… there goes like, little kid, you know what I’m saying?

Now, the problem is, here, that first of all, I mean you’re just hoping she’s a cool person, she’s nice and all that stuff, but the problem is, here.. that THESE are now going to get diminished, right? So now we’re going to go get our eraser for your Big Willie pockets, and we’re gonna do this, you know what I’m saying? So NOW, Your pockets look, you know, more like this.. It’s like half of the Big Willie…

Click here to watch the rest of “Safe Sex Tutorial (Big Willie Pockets)” on YouTube.

~ Bill Cammack | @BillCammack

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So I’m watching this video that was made by my Facebook friend, Meghan Asha and a couple of her homegirls,

and one of them says something like she doesn’t Google people before going on a first date with them so she actually has to ask all the questions…

HA! Later for that! :D This is the year 2009. Unless I meet someone randomly or happen to be introduced to someone on the fly at a party, like when Walt introduced me to Miko recently (whom I am NOT dating.. She’s just the first person that came to mind when I thought of people that I didn’t google before I met them), The *FIRST* thing I do upon becoming aware of someone new is check their Social Media or internet presence.

Facebook

Facebook is the first stop. I need to know right off the bat who our mutual friends are. Depending on how well I know the mutuals, that might be the only thing I check out. Also, if we have 40, 50 or 80 mutual friends, that’s way more than enough for me as far as checks & balances. As a point of reference, I have 402 mutuals with one of my Facebook friends.. I think that’s my maximum so far. Basically, there needs to be SOMEBODY that I know that’s heard of you or you receive a FAIL on phase 1 and it’s time for phase 2…

Next up is Google. As long as you have the person’s first and last name, you can most likely find out what you need to find out on Google. Back in the day, I used to date this gal named Sherry Smith. Of course, her father’s name was Jim, making him Jim Smith. In cases like this, you are SOL (**** out of luck). There’s no way AT ALL that searching Jim Smith (or Jane Smith for that matter) is going to bring up the actual person you’re looking for.

If you run into a roadblock like this, you have to return to Facebook and use their Search function: facebook.com/search. The good thing about this is that each profile has an avatar (picture) associated with it, so armed with their first name, last name and a general idea of how they look, you can most likely find them IF they’re on Facebook at all.

Google

If you’re successful, Google will get you all the links you need, specifically whether they have a blog or not, whether they use a picture upload site like flickr or picasa, whether they have a professional profile on linkedin, and you might even find their Google Profile, which is basically the jackpot.

From their blogs, you can find out what they think is interesting and/or important. You can find out whether you have things in common and whether they can spell above a 3rd grade level or not. From their picture sets, you can figure out what they focus on.. Themselves, Other People, Architecture.. It’s also another good way to see who they hang out with other than via Facebook pics (which aren’t going to be directly accessible anyway until you Friend them, which means it’s too late anyway).

Writing this in an explanatory fashion makes it seem like it takes a long time, but the entire process really takes about 3 minutes, tops. Now that I have my G1, I can google chicks when I excuse myself to go to the bar to pick up another brew! :D The goal isn’t to dig up dirt on people, but rather to achieve a point of reference. I know lots of people that don’t know each other and don’t associate across cliques. Once I see a few mutuals, I get a good idea of what crew they like to roll with as well as whom I need to contact if I want to find out if this person’s on the up and up.

Social Networking

So, Yes.. Most people that I speak to, as long as I knew ahead of time that I was going to run into them, I’ve already checked out their interenet presence and I greet them from that perspective. If I’m not aware of someone ahead of time, I have to rely on their IRL interactions with acquaintances of mine when I see them at the event. Why does this matter?.. Here in New York City, we have to make snap judgements. There are too many people and too little time. We don’t have the luxury like in the sticks to spend a lot of time with few people. Sometimes, when I go to parties, I never stop greeting people because 50-70 people that I know might show up at a large event like a MashBash. Fortunately, the G1 comes in handy AGAIN as I can friend people as soon as I meet them and get back to them the next day when a) I have time to casually contact people and b) I have way fewer alcoholic beverages in my system. ;)

What about people that don’t have ANY internet presence whatsoever? There are lots of these people and many that actively AVOID having any of their information on the net at all. I would have to say, for lack of a better way to put it, that I don’t believe them. I’m just not inclined to take anyone’s word for anything that I can’t check out with someone that I already trust to some degree. When Walt introduced me to Miko, I had never seen her before in life. I asked her “so… what do you do?”, not because I cared what she did to make money but to hear how she answered the question. I think Walt answered it before Miko did. The point is that the answer was immediately believable to me because it was something that Walt would have already known about Miko.

Checks & Balances

The fact that we meet so many people in this town and then never see them again leads a lot of people to be absolute BULLSHITTERS when it comes to their lives. One minute, a gal is single. Later that evening, she has a boyfriend. If she’s talking to a guy she REALLY doesn’t like, she’s engaged or married. If she wants attention, she’ll feign being a lesbian.

Guys act like they’re ballin’-shot-callin’ and their Porsche is in the shop. Also, their startup’s just about to get bought and they’re going to be rich, but they can’t talk about that because of the NDA. Everybody’s got an angle in this town and they’re always trying to sell you something. It’s just not believable without checks & balances from trusted sources.

So, not checking someone’s online presence before dating them? HAHA good luck with that! Let me know how that’s workin’ for ya! ;) In the year 2009, there are too many people that know too many people to date some rogue person you’ve never heard of before and can’t get any information on.

…

…

um.. unless she’s FOYINE!!!, then all bets are OFF! :D

~ Bill Cammack | @BillCammack

Related Posts

• How To Throw A Party
• Top 10 Reasons to Date a Geek
• Guilt By Association / Social Media Connections
• Safe Sex Tutorial (Big Willie Pockets)
• Guide To Dating The “Internet Famous”

* Click the HD button for a clearer version. Click the fullscreen button to watch full-screen! :D *

Bill Cammack explains how to make a blog post using WordPress (or pretty much any other platform).

Topics include hypertext / hyperlinking, images, media & style.

Recorded as part of New in November 2009 (newinnov.tumblr.com)

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Every so often, a word gets stolen or misused by someone and that word becomes a part of popular culture and retains the new meaning, going forward. One of these myriad words is “Player”.

I’m extremely tired of people using the word “Player” when all they actually mean is “He doesn’t want a ‘relationship’ with a chick, but he’s down to screw them”. The reason this happened is that most people have exactly ZERO idea of what they’re doing when it comes to dating, which is why they use terms like “getting lucky”. Anything outside of what THEY THINK should go on during dating is considered to be some kind of conspiracy. If you’re not down with the get married, have kids, croak pattern, then either there’s something wrong with you or you’re deliberately jacking the system.

Let me tell you now… There’s a distinct difference between actual Players and guys that just plain like girls and are going to mess with as many as they can before they (the guys) become busted-looking and their career is completely over. Of course there are lots of levels to this, but let’s just stick to this basic separation for now.

*I* am a Player. What makes me a Player is that it’s all business to me. I’m leaving either NOTHING or as little as possible to chance. If a chick turns me on, I get a certain energy that tells me what to do. The goal from then on is to get to the nitty-gritty. I’m attempting to get what I want ASAP. *NOW*, if possible! :D I don’t’ care what your future plans are. I don’t care how many kids you want to have. I don’t care where you want to live 5 years from now or where you’ll be in your career. I want to do what I want to do and I’m going to do my DAMNEDEST to make that happen… NOW! :D

This has been described to me in myriad ways. My friend Joyce calls it “Always On”, haha because I’m always angling for whatever I can get from a chick. Another gal told me “You’re the guy I’m scared of meeting when I go out to parties”. Chicks I’ve actually been dating at the time have informed me of their impressions of my way of being, and I’ve been amazed at their insight whilst in the heat of things.

I’m from New York City. There’s nothing but competition in this town. There’s someone taller than you, richer than you, smarter than you, cuter than you, funnier than you, that dresses better than you, has a better car than you, wears better jewelry than you, is more popular than you, more talented than you, blogs more than you……. ok, maybe not blogs more than THE KID! haha but you get the picture. You have two choices in this town.. Take the scraps that are available to you, the leftovers from the guys that are actually makin’ it happen and turning chicks on, or figure out how to get in the game and make it happen for yourself.

My friend Karen (Thanks A Lot, Karen… Good Lookin’ Out! :/) recently posted a picture that was taken of me when I was in High School. There are eight (8) guys in that picture. I would have been exactly in SLOT NUMBER EIGHT to get the rap if some random chick had walked down the street and happened across all of us. LAST. I have no idea what the actual pecking order would have been, because I wasn’t paying attention to that stuff at the time, but all the guys had gimmicks that I personally didn’t have in my arsenal at the time. ‘Matter of fact, I *HAD* no arsenal at the time! :D

Chicks just like me. Not all of them, but ENOUGH of them. Because of that, up until HS, I had never developed any format for pulling chicks. It’s just a gift from God. Thanks, God! :D I’ve literally been ASLEEP and chicks have woken me up to talk to me. Like. Actually. Asleep, and when I woke up, I was at a party and some chick is tapping me on my shoulder wanting to kick it to me hahaha. That’s happened more than once, due to the fact that I hang out with people that have my back entirely, so I’m perfectly safe going to sleep anywhere at any time. If I don’t get my second wind, wake me up when the party’s over so I can get out of someone’s house! :D

Anyway… That’s all well and good if you’re not around guys with specific plans on how they’re going to pull chicks. They have the right jewelry. They have the clean sneakers. They have the Lees with the sewn-in crease. They ironed their fat laces. Their name buckle’s shiny. They got their ‘line’ done (got their haircut shaped up perfectly). They practiced their Electric Boogie routines. They know the lines to say to chicks to get them to lay down ASAP. They know which chicks are down for the action regardless of what you say to them. They’re wearing the latest clothes. They have murals painted on the back of their denim jackets. They have the right AC/DC and The Who patches. Their parents are rich and live on Park Avenue and they’re rarely home and they have a liquor cabinet…..

This is why I’m a Player. I’ve had to overcome too many obstacles in my life to leave dating to chance. When your allowance is $20/week and your homeboy’s allowance is $150/week…… IN JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL!!! :/ You end up looking like a BROKE MotherTrucker.

Meanwhile, dudes are ACCUSED of being Players just because they happened to mess with you AND your cousin last summer. Sorry. That doesn’t qualify you as a player that you messed with two chicks that happen to be blood-related. You can get extra points for it and a pat on the back from the fellaz, but *ONLY* if at least one of them knew you were already messing with the other one. If you pulled two girls that just so happen to be related, who cares? Ultimate Dap if you hooked up with them simultaneously, but that’s not normally the situation. What normally happens is that just because a guy thinks a chick is attractive and he wants to spend some intimate time with her, she thinks he’s angling for some sort of exclusive relationship. If that’s not the direction it goes, her girlfriends are like “Oh!.. So he’s a PLAYER, HUH? :/” as they commiserate over Häagen-Dazs.

The reason this is important is that the non-Players aren’t getting a fair shake. Just because they don’t conform to your idea of what’s supposed to go on when a guy and a gal hook up, you label them as something they’re actually not and then here come the sanctions and embargoes against the guy for just being who he is, whether he tells you about it straight up or you hear it through the grapevine. Doesn’t it make sense that the guys with no game or no looks or no money are going to be MORE LIKELY to take what they can get from a chick? It’s not that they’re being deliberately manipulative… They’re just trying to live their lives and have some good times with some chicks they think are FOYINE!!! (haha, right, Corinne? :D).. They’re not doing ANYTHING underhanded to you. They honestly like you… AND your cousin… AND your moms, if she’s still got it like that! ;)

I was watching one of these infinitely-produced COPS-type shows and they had to go to a trailer park for a domestic disturbance. The chick was wildin’ out and the cops removed her from the guy’s trailer and put her in a cab to her relative’s house. When they were talking to the guy on camera, they asked him about her demeanor. He said (and I wish I could remember verbatim), essentially “She’s completely a *JERK*, but I’m a fat, unattractive guy… \o/”. Guys will take whatever they can get. It doesn’t make them Players / manipulators. They’re just tryin’na Live The Dream!

The funny thing about all this is that the Players know how to make themselves look like regular dudes and the regular dudes don’t know how to make themselves NOT look like Players, haha so most of the time, women are looking in the wrong direction when they’re trying to figure out who’s going to “take the money & run”. There’s no distinction made for the set of guys that are just trying to enjoy an attractive female’s company without turning it into some kind of overblown production about “what this means” and “where is this going?”. It’s like “Dudes that want to get married” and “Players”. :/

What makes the situation even worse is that there are lots of Players that would LOVE to get married and DO get married. Let HER make all the money while I play video games all day and listen to how her day was when she comes home? HAHA “But Where Does Homey Sign? :(” hahaha You Bet! There are lots of dudes that hook up with some rich chick so they can lamp in her crib and live off her money while they still hook up with whatever other chicks they want. Actually, there are dudes that hook up with POOR CHICKS for the same reason! :O .. She’s getting X amount in food stamps, plus money from “her baby’s father” every month? Sign A Brotha UP! :D Spread the wealth, amongst other things!

As I always say.. The only way around this is checks & balances. If you date people that you have mutual friends with that you can trust, you’ll most likely be alright. 325 Mutual Facebook Friends aren’t going to ALL steer you wrong if you ask them questions about a guy you’re thinking about dating or at least hooking up with. In the year 2009, the reasons for dating someone that NONE of your friends have ever heard of is ZERO. Start making groups of guys and gals that go out together all as friends and see if anything develops from there. Make as many pressure-free situations as you can where you get to spend time with guys and see what they’re really like. Is he paying attention to you, or checking out ass every second he can? hahaha Not that *I* know anyone like THAT, but still! :D

So give these guys a break. They’re not PLAYERS, just because they’re not going to commit to you or anyone else. If you ever run into an ACTUAL Player, you may very well learn the difference and start to appreciate ‘regular’ guys that aren’t going to lie, cheat & steal to get into your panties by any means necessary! haha YA HEARD? :D

~Bill Cammack | @BillCammack

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