Bill Cammack

So.. Like, every day, guys have to hear stuff like “I’m not a piece of meat” and “I want him to like me for me”, which doesn’t make any sense, because a woman’s looks are a PART of her “me”, so if a guy likes you for your looks or your body, stop trying to dismiss that like it doesn’t count for anything.

Having said that.. If a guy DOESN’T think you’re cute and/or your body ISN’T sexually inspirational to him and he dates you anyway, you might just have a long-term boyfriend on your hands…

Long Term Relationships

Attractive women are at a SEVERE DISADVANTAGE when it comes to LTRs, because they’re not going to look like that forever. ‘Matter of fact, I’ve met gals that looked completely different six months after I met them, so women that get the rap based on how they currently look have a tough row to hoe. If they cease to maintain their looks, dude might be outtahere like Belvedere. Read the rest of this entry »

Every so often, a word gets stolen or misused by someone and that word becomes a part of popular culture and retains the new meaning, going forward. One of these myriad words is “Player”.

I’m extremely tired of people using the word “Player” when all they actually mean is “He doesn’t want a ‘relationship’ with a chick, but he’s down to screw them”. The reason this happened is that most people have exactly ZERO idea of what they’re doing when it comes to dating, which is why they use terms like “getting lucky”. Anything outside of what THEY THINK should go on during dating is considered to be some kind of conspiracy. If you’re not down with the get married, have kids, croak pattern, then either there’s something wrong with you or you’re deliberately jacking the system.

Let me tell you now… There’s a distinct difference between actual Players and guys that just plain like girls and are going to mess with as many as they can before they (the guys) become busted-looking and their career is completely over. Of course there are lots of levels to this, but let’s just stick to this basic separation for now.

*I* am a Player. What makes me a Player is that it’s all business to me. I’m leaving either NOTHING or as little as possible to chance. If a chick turns me on, I get a certain energy that tells me what to do. The goal from then on is to get to the nitty-gritty. I’m attempting to get what I want ASAP. *NOW*, if possible! :D I don’t’ care what your future plans are. I don’t care how many kids you want to have. I don’t care where you want to live 5 years from now or where you’ll be in your career. I want to do what I want to do and I’m going to do my DAMNEDEST to make that happen… NOW! :D

This has been described to me in myriad ways. My friend Joyce calls it “Always On”, haha because I’m always angling for whatever I can get from a chick. Another gal told me “You’re the guy I’m scared of meeting when I go out to parties”. Chicks I’ve actually been dating at the time have informed me of their impressions of my way of being, and I’ve been amazed at their insight whilst in the heat of things.

I’m from New York City. There’s nothing but competition in this town. There’s someone taller than you, richer than you, smarter than you, cuter than you, funnier than you, that dresses better than you, has a better car than you, wears better jewelry than you, is more popular than you, more talented than you, blogs more than you……. ok, maybe not blogs more than THE KID! haha but you get the picture. You have two choices in this town.. Take the scraps that are available to you, the leftovers from the guys that are actually makin’ it happen and turning chicks on, or figure out how to get in the game and make it happen for yourself. Read the rest of this entry »

I’m not a fan of labeling relationships because the label doesn’t indicate or describe the functionality of the relationship. Similarly, the LACK of a label doesn’t indicate a lack of functionality between individuals. Therefore, the label itself is almost entirely useless.

I was watching this movie the other day, and this guy’s trying to get to know this new chick. He explains something about himself to her and she says “Oh.. You’re one of those [X] guys”. His response is “I don’t really, uh, subscribe to any label”.

When I heard that, I realized that that’s what I should have been saying all along. I mean, I’ve BEEN saying that forever, but I haven’t stressed it enough, since I’ve been attempting to inform the average Joe/Josephine about what my life is like. It’s just not as easy as I thought it would be. Things that make perfect sense to me don’t make sense to other people. Things that work for me don’t work for other people. I’ve attempted to explain something that I’ve now decided I just can’t explain. I just have to be thankful for the situation and keep it movin’. :D

Labels

Labels are only as relevant as the people that are willing to adhere to them.. meaning that basically, they’re completely useless. Read the rest of this entry »

My ex and I had a superbly, fantastically EXCELLENT relationship for approximately four years… She would lie to me, and I would catch her lying. :D

I’m sure that doesn’t sound excellent to *you*, but it was for me. The fact that she was constantly lying meant that she was constantly trying to get over on me. It meant that she was going ALL OUT to get her way in situations. I admire and respect that, and I’m the same way. I want to WIN. I like being around people that WANT TO WIN and are willing to do whatever they have to do to achieve their goals.

What’s good about liars?

The fantastic part about this is that I kept experiencing instances where I could collect data about how she acts, sounds and looks when she’s telling the truth and when she isn’t. Eventually, maybe one year into our relationship, well, let’s say the ‘romantic’ part of our relationship, since we’re still close, to this very day… I had learned her behaviors so well that I could tell by her breathing patterns how she felt about things. There was this little “catch” in her breathing that would occur when she stopped “being” and started “thinking”. It was like Keanu seeing the double-cat in The Matrix. I knew that whatever I was about to get was something she was crafting or making up as opposed to something that she was naturally giving me, from her heart & soul. Read the rest of this entry »

I have an intimate relationship with alcoholic beverages.

This is why I just completely DETEST when people try to use alcohol as an excuse as far as why they did something. It’s a copout. It’s bullshit. There are two main reasons for this.

First… if YOU drank the alcohol YOURSELF, and you knew what you were drinking, I don’t want to hear it. The only break you might get is if you’re just beginning drinking. A friend of mine in college drank alcohol for what may have been his first time, but was DEFINITELY a rare occasion for him, and he swore up and down that our other friend’s hair was WHITE… when I was looking right at it, and my friend’s hair was BLACK. :D As friends, it was our duty and responsibility to BAN THAT GUY FROM DRINKING EVER AGAIN! He did it as an experiment, just to try it out, but alcohol just didn’t agree with him and it was in everyone’s best interest, especially his own that he keep his mind right, so he was banned.

So.. Other than not understanding what the alcohol was going to do to you because you’re just starting, NOBODY has an excuse for what they did when it comes to alcohol, IMO. It’s YOUR responsibility to know whether you can handle it or not. It’s NOT your friend’s responsibility to “look out for you” after you’ve incapacitated yourself. It’s a good deed, and it’s nice of friends to do that, because friends have definitely done that for me, like when I’ve fallen asleep on the subway and was leaning all over people I didn’t know, or when they didn’t want me to ride my bike, or when I licked birthday cake off of some chick’s face at her party and her uncle thought he was gonna do something about it, but my friends didn’t HAVE TO look out for me in those situations. They CHOSE TO, even though I didn’t ask them to, and I appreciate that. Completely.

Still… Choosing to drink AT ALL makes it MY responsibility from the giddyap. That’s the first reason why alcohol is no excuse for ANYTHING. It’s something that YOU do to YOURSELF. You utilized your own free will and ingested the beverages, so now you can deal, or you can’t.

A friend of mine told me just the other day about a situation where she went out to a bar with some other chicks, one of them “got nice” on her own, met a guy she liked, hooked up with him, and then, the next day, she was all like “Why didn’t you stop me? :O”. First of all, she drank the alcohol herself. Second of all, she didn’t hire my friend to be her babysitter for the night. Third, she didn’t ask my friend ahead of time to stop her from spreading her legs. Since she didn’t ask my friend, there was no reason for my friend to assume that the chick WANTED to be stopped and wasn’t acting from her own free will and basic character. This brings us to the second reason why it’s bullshit to use alcohol as an excuse…

My friends started drinking in Elementary School. Their parents had the money and bought tons of liquor, my friends knew where it was and threw parties pretty much every weekend. I wasn’t in attendance, because that wasn’t my set back then, but I heard the stories about the parties when we all got back to school. I was just anti the whole “get high” concept until I got to college, so I wouldn’t have bothered with it anyway.

The reason I bring that up is that I received YEEEEARS of brainwashing about the effects of alcohol. The main point was that when people drink, they lose their fuckin’ minds. They just go absolutely berserk and aren’t in control of themselves. I had no choice but to buy into this, because I had never BEEN high (which some people use to denote drug use, but I use for any substance, including alcohol, glue sniffing, nail polish, huffing…) until I got to college. I guess my very first experience with alcohol would have bolstered the brainwashing, because I couldn’t play guitar AT.ALL. :D I remember wondering “How in the HELL does Keith Richards do it?” I also remember the feeling of my mind being altered, and also “coming down” for the first time. Once I got a handle on alcohol and really started THINKING and assessing my current state, I realized why people try to use alcohol as an excuse as well as why it’s completely invalid.

People like to use the phrase “Alcohol reduces inhibitions”, but they don’t really understand what they’re talking about. Here’s the definition, from Webster’s:

Main Entry: in·hi·bi·tion Listen to the pronunciation of inhibition
Pronunciation: \ˌin-hə-ˈbi-shən, ˌi-nə-\
Function: noun
Date: 14th century

1 a: the act of inhibiting : the state of being inhibited b: something that forbids, debars, or restricts
2: an inner impediment to free activity, expression, or functioning: as a: a mental process imposing restraint upon behavior or another mental process (as a desire) b: a restraining of the function of a bodily organ or an agent (as an enzyme)

So.. A reduction of inhibition, which EVERYONE AGREES that alcohol facilitates… means that when you get drunk, you lose [an inner impediment to free activity, expression or functioning]. You know what that means? That means that when you’re drunk, You.Do.What.You.WANT.To.Do.

Basically, you temporarily forget to act unnaturally. You lose the ability to remember what you told someone else you were going to do, as well as what you told YOURSELF you were going to do. All that’s left is what you WANT to do, which is why alcohol is no excuse AT ALL for what you did while you were drunk. None.

Of course, I haven’t hung out with everyone on the planet, but I don’t know ANYONE that I have EVER gotten drunk with that turned into somebody that they weren’t already, naturally, by consuming alcohol. There’s no Jekyll & Hyde. There’s only the person they consciously strive to present to you publicly, and the person they really are, if they were to release themselves from the bullshit restrictions they put on themselves in order to be accepted in society or get the right jobs or land the right girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife.

Now… What does this have to do with dating? :D

When you go to the bar and meet someone that’s already drunk, do yourself the favor of NOT ASSUMING he/she’s going to be the same person the next day or ever again when they’re sober. Don’t assume that that person’s going to remember you the next time they meet you coughsorryanniecough. Don’t assume that because y’all shared good times together that that’s going to make it to the drunk person’s long-term memory. Don’t assume that because they gave you their number when they were drunk, they want to receive a call from you when they’re sober.

More importantly, if the person you’re dating is a drinker, it’s IMPERATIVE to get drunk with them. If someone won’t drink with you, it could mean they don’t trust YOU enough to get drunk around you, but it could also mean that they don’t trust THEMSELVES to get drunk around you. Granted… There are some people that just.don’t.drink, and more power to them. I’m talking about the people that you KNOW drink and have TOLD YOU they drink and STILL won’t get drunk in front of you. People get really paranoid of showing their true colors.

Now, as we all know, people LOVE to use alcohol as an excuse for cheating. Hopefully, you understand now that that’s out the window. By misusing and misunderstanding the idea of “loss of inhibitions” as well as not holding people responsible for getting themselves drunk in the first place, that’s made alcohol a loophole. “I didn’t know what I was doing”. “I lost my mind”. “I can’t believe I did that”. “I’m not that type of person”. Sorry. Yes, you are. You ARE the type of person to get drunk and hook up with someone you’ve never seen before in life… because you just did it. Yes you are the type of person to get mad and start throwing things around the house or start kicking people’s asses. Yes you are the type of person to lick birthday cake off of chicks’ faces because you damned well felt like it, AND WHAT?

I still remember hearing the guy down the hall screaming about how his niece isn’t a whore, blah blah blah. Sorry dude. The only person that called your niece a whore was YOU! She was sweating The Kid and she was gonna give it up if she felt like giving it up, so mind your business and break north if you don’t want to watch her exercise her freedom of choice and mess with The Kid. PAYCE! :D

Anyway…

I’ve been so tired of this for SO LONG that I felt like writing about it. If you can’t handle your alcohol, don’t drink. Period. It’s your friends’ responsibility to tell you how you’re acting, but NOT to bail you out of situations you create for yourself. If you feel like if you drink and go out on the town, you’re gonna cheat on your boyfriend/girlfriend, either DON’T DRINK or DON’T GO OUTSIDE or live with the fact that you have FREE WILL just like everyone else and are going to do WHAT you want to do WHEN you want to do it regardless of whom you told other people that you really are and especially regardless of whom you told YOURSELF that you are.

DatingGenius