Bill Cammack

If you enjoy anonymity, it used to be that the only people you had to worry about dating were actual celebrities. This was because THEY were the only ones showing up in the media. The paparazzi get paid to chase them all over creation, taking pictures of them, and then they’d end up on those dumb shows that come on after the news that scrape around for any gossip they can find about someone currently famous.

Social Media has advanced to the point where it’s not only the ACTUALLY famous that you have to look out for. There are people that are said to have micro-fame or are called “internet famous”. There are different levels of micro-fame, but the way SM works, the level doesn’t really make a difference. ALLLLLL you need is for one person to take a picture of you and place it on a site or in a feed that other people pay attention to, and you could end up in social bookmarks, reblogged, captioned… what-have-you.

In this case, the best defense is a good offense. You’re way better off controlling your own media from the giddyap than trying to chase it down after the fact. As an example (which has nothing to do with dating), I went to a party one time and out of the tons of pics I took with people, I took one with this chick I had never met before. There were lots of people taking pictures at the same party. After I posted mine, I got a sob-story email from her with some bullshit about how she didn’t want this guy she knew to know that she had been out partying. :/ She asked me to take it down and I did… *NOT* because I believed a word she said, but because all of my pics are with people that *WANT* to be in them with me. I didn’t need her up in the mix with that kind of attitude. :D

The obvious question is… “Why are you so stupid that you a) went partying when you weren’t “supposed to” and were risking getting caught? b) went to a party where probably one out of every four people there had a camera and was taking pictures? and c) didn’t say to people that were taking pictures that you needed not to be seen on the internet?” Actually, (c)’s irrelevant, because if you KNOW you’re not supposed to be out partying and you see cameras…… LEAVE!

So anyway, like I said, that particular situation had nothing to do with dating, but it’s clear to me that there are a lot of people that don’t realize the times we’re living in and that your ass might be tagged on Facebook before you wake up from the alcohol you drank last night. So for those people that don’t understand what time it is in the year 2008, here’s what you need to know in order to date the “Internet Famous”…..

1) Don’t do it

If you really enjoy your privacy, don’t date anyone “internet famous” AT ALL. :D Look for a like-minded person who’s TRYING to stay out of the limelight like you are. If you just CAN’T get over it and you’re sweating this micro-famous person so much that you just HAVE to try it, read on…

2) Don’t go ANYWHERE with them in public

Especially in a place like NYC, where we all use public transportation and/or walk, DO *NOT* go ANYWHERE out-of-doors with your internet-famous crush. There’s no telling who reads that person’s blog or knows what they look like and will be the first one to report the where, when and with-whom of sighting a micro-celebrity. The odds of noseyness increase exponentially if said micro-celeb has declared some form of relationship to someone via Social Media Status Updates. This leads to a wildfire spreading of your business, as people try to confirm with myriad other friends of theirs: “Isn’t whomever dating so-and-so?”.

3) Meet them everywhere

If you STILL insist on going out in public with this person, MEET them places. Don’t arrive at the places WITH them. People are easily psyched out by asynchronous arrivals and departures. Make sure you’re there before they are and you leave before they do, or vice versa. Make sure it’s a good 30 minutes before the second person makes moves from the location. You can always meet up at the cribbo later on. ;)

4) Hide in plain sight

It’s very funny how people attempt to play it off that they’re messing with other people and then they act so completely different towards that one person when they’re together in public. You may as well have a neon sign that says “We’re Dating”, with flashing lights and pointing arrows… Or maybe those T-Shirts that say “I’m with Stupid =>” “<= Stupid's with Me". :D

Instead, if you're supposedly single, Act As If. Hide in plain sight. The micro-celeb will need to understand and support your position. You're doing THEM a favor by dating them in the first place, so they need to hook you up with certain concessions that minimize the risk of people finding out that you're messing with them.

5) NEVER post relationship status updates

All you need to look like an idiot is for your status to go from “single” to “it’s complicated” to “in a relationship” and back to “single” every week. If that’s what’s really going on in your life, Keep. It. To. Yourself. :D Save all that status stuff for when it’s ACTUALLY real, not when you THINK it’s real. If you just HAVE TO post SOMETHING, keep some physical stickies next to your computer so that when you get that urge, you can physically write on it that you’re dating someone and stick it on your wall so you can look at it and admire it for a few days until you need to crumple it up and throw it in the trash.

6) Control yourself

Once in a blue, as I’m walking down the street and a guy’s walking towards me with his girl, when he detects me, he tightens up his grip on his girl… holds her hand tighter… puts his arm around her… something. It’s really funny. :D That’s a subconscious defensive reaction. In his mind, he feels the need to indicate more than he was already that he’s “with” this chick. It’s typical male territorial pissings, but the point is that he’s giving away the fact that he’s nervous about losing his rap to this chick. If his game were TIGHT, he could leave her alone with any number of dudes and not be worried that she’s gonna give it up.

Similarly, you need to play it cool and control yourself when you’re out in public with this internet-famous person you’re supposedly not dating. Fellaz… Do *NOT* eyeball people like “Why are they hugging MY girl? :( ” if you’re supposed to be dating her on the sneaks. Ladies… Do *NOT* find reasons to interrupt every single conversation your boyfriend’s having with other chicks unless you want to make yourself a prime suspect.

7) iChat is your friend……… sort of. :/

AIM/iChat, Skype, ooVoo, what-have-you are all brilliant alternatives to risking going out in public to communicate with your internet-famous crush. They all have video and audio capabilities on top of being able to text chat. Use these services to have fellowship, get your laugh on, figure out plans and timetables for the evening (see tip #3), veto clothing decisions, etc… Just keep it clean so Chris Hanson doesn’t invite you to sit down for a glass of lemonade. :(

The downside of iChat is… If YOUR video/audio icon stays ghosted for hours and so does your crush’s… you’re busted. :D

8) Make up a fake significant other

This actually works like a charm. :D People are basically simple-minded when it comes to relationships, so as long as they *know* you have a significant other floating around somewhere, they’ll blind themselves to the fact that you might be dating your internet-famous crush. Make sure this fictitious character lives far enough away from here never to show up at ANY scene events, evAr…. but close enough that you can hop on Metro North, LIRR or Amtrak for a couple of hours and visit them for the weekend. Make them affluent enough to live wherever they live, but NOT affluent enough to train it to NYC and party… evAr.

If the heat is on and the jig is about to be UP… Your FSO will suddenly get a promotion… causing them to move to Japan, and since you can’t/won’t learn Japanese, you’ve decided it’s in your best interest to let the relationship go. :(

Grieve for 1/3 of the time you were dating your FSO, make up a new one, rinse, repeat. :D

9) Enlist the help of others

You may not be able to carry off these tactics on your own. If this is the case, getting trustworthy people down with the program will help you immensely. If they are hanging out with you and the internet-famous person…. they will say they were only hanging out with you. If they were only hanging out with you… they will say they were hanging out with you and your FSO. They’ll make up stories and propagate them throughout their Social Media sphere of influence to corroborate whatever position you’ve decided to take. They will text you ahead of time not to show up together if there are unexpected Social Media people where you planned to hang out for the evening. Actually… Some people get paid to do this. They’re called Personal Assistants.

10) Don’t tell your internet-famous crush JACK!

Nothing… Nuth-Thang… NOTHING! :D This person has problems keeping THEIR OWN BUSINESS “out the street”, so you KNOW they’re gonna blab YOUR business all over creation! Save it. Don’t tell internet famous people you’re dating JACK that you wouldn’t post on your own blog. Don’t tell them anything you wouldn’t tell your Grandmother. Don’t tell them anything that you wouldn’t tell your next SO after you break up with them. Nuth-THANG!!! :D

So there’s your guide to dating the “internet famous”. This is 2008. People in Australia can find out what you did last night in NYC before you’ll be able to find the same media yourself and attempt to get yourself untagged. Your best bet is to take evasive action and enable preventative measures similar to those that I’ve outlined. Overall, your best bet is not to date ANYONE living this Social Media lifestyle if you’re not interested in being a part of it yourself.

Welcome to the show! :D

DatingGenius

…

EDIT: Bonus Tip! :D

I wasn’t thinking about this, but an excellent tip was passed to me just now, and I wanted to add it….

11) Get a hobby

Normally, being “internet famous” goes hand-in-hand with a lot of interesting things going on in that person’s life. Make sure that YOU have something that YOU’RE doing that can be a focal point for conversation as well. This is one of the reasons why actors date actresses and celebrities and entertainers tend to date each other as well. Each of them have interesting things to talk about from their side of the table. You don’t have to be doing “big thangs”… Just make sure you have SOMETHING going on so that you don’t always have to talk about your SO’s internet fame every time you get together.

As the contributor of this tip said:

Internet famous people get bored dating a “fan”.

DatingGenius
 
 

After my cousin… whom I didn’t even know reads my blog… had some fascinating comments for me about my Fame, Popularity & Star Power post, I thought I’d try again to explain what I get and don’t get out of posting to the internet.

Revisiting the definitions I used for the article:

Fame = a lot of people have heard of you (clearly relative… “a lot”)
Popularity = a lot of people LIKE something about you
Star Power = a lot of people know what ADDED VALUE you bring to a production

Fame

Now… By those three distinctions, Fame, to me, is absolutely useless. People have heard of your name?… but have no particular interest in, care about or respect for anything you’ve ever done? hehehe No Thanks. :D

There are lots of people that are famous for nothing. People know their names because their parents are rich or because they run around town making scenes or everybody thinks they’re jerks. Still, these people are famous. To many of them, that’s worth something. I’m sure it gets them in the door at some clubs they otherwise wouldn’t be allowed into or it gets them laid a couple of times with groupies that enjoy self-validation through being selected for sex by someone that people think is someone.

I think my lack of interest in fame comes from elementary / junior high school. Growing up in New York City, personalities develop really early. They have to, because you have to fit into your clique(s). It’s not like the sticks, where you can be just anybody, or NOBODY and have the exact same experience in life. In NYC, you like Rock or you don’t. You like Hip-Hop or you don’t. Your parents are rich, or they’re not. You dress cool, or you don’t. You drink and do drugs (yes, in JHS), or you don’t. You’re cool, or you’re not. You’re smart, or you’re not. You’re artistic, or you’re not. You play a cool instrument, or you don’t. You have to work, or you have an ‘allowance’.

I was fortunate that by going to specialized schools, all these kids were thrown in together, because their parents wanted them to be the best in the world. I got to mingle with future movie stars and future gas station attendants. Kids from Park Avenue and kids from the projects. Kids whose parents were already famous and kids whose parents weren’t even born in the USA (hehehe not that that’s a prerequisite for fame hahaha).

What I took away from that was that even if your family’s name rings bells or you throw the best parties or you have the most money or the best girlfriends, that doesn’t make you cooler or more interesting than somebody people haven’t heard of. Since I like cool and interesting people, fame isn’t something that’s important to me… my own, or someone else’s.

My cousin also snapped on the fact that I said I don’t care about this stuff, yet I posted my “recent visitor list”:

hahahaha :D Well… The thing about that is that people don’t hit my site looking for Bill Cammack. People come here looking for concepts that they were contemplating and searched for. Just because someone visited from Australia, looking for information on the dating scene in NYC doesn’t mean that they looked at the author’s name or even gave a damn who wrote the article. So, Yes… :D It’s congruent to say that I’m not interested in fame, and in the next breath mention how people visit my site from all over the world.

I thought of my cousin the other day when I was hanging out and someone I had never met before was raving about a video of mine (that he had no idea I created) that he had watched and enjoyed. I was happy that he enjoyed himself, haha but I never mentioned that *I* was the one that shot and edited that video. Had “fame” been an interest of mine, I would have made sure that he knew that he was speaking to, as well as hanging out having brews with the incredible content creator, Bill Cammack! HAHAHA… How ridiculous is that? Worthless. I was glad that he enjoyed it. I enjoyed that he enjoyed it, and the conversation changed topics without me requesting props from him and propagating my worthless “Fame”. :D

Popularity

Popularity, OTOH, is extremely useful. I can see how I can be accused of using the internet to attempt to gain popularity. It makes sense, because it’s very tough to distinguish between popular people posting THE FACTS about what they do on a regular basis and unpopular people attempting to *become* popular by strategically crafting an internet persona. I can’t help it that I hang out with cool-ass-people ALL THE TIME! :D

It’s not my fault that this is NYC, and there’s ALWAYS something going on. :D

If I happen to get out my camera and document something that’s happening, that’s because….. it’s HAPPENING. :D It’s not something staged for the benefit of the internet population that stumbles onto my site from Google.

Popularity’s built in the trenches… Person to Person. You can be as internet famous as you like, but if you’re a Herb in person, your props go right down the drain. Popularity’s an aura you carry with you… Your ability to make friends on the fly and enjoy people’s company. It’s about the interpersonal relationship you have with the person you’re spending time with right now.

Having said that, the internet affords us all the opportunity to get to know each other asynchronously, and in most cases, anonymously. What people post to the internet is an expression of their own interests, intelligence, fantasies, desires, skills… Where that becomes useful is when someone’s aware of you because of your internet presence and then gets to meet you IRL and find out how close your real life persona is to how you portray yourself through text, images and video.

So… For people that ARE popular, and especially those that have always BEEN popular, the internet isn’t an extremely efficient way to increase that, because the real relationships are built when people actually spend time together… NOT when they’re reading something someone wrote or watching a video they made on the internet.

Star Power

Increasing one’s Star Power via creating and posting content to the internet is really the most valuable takeaway of the three, IMO… other than one’s own satisfaction in creating and being an artist. Since you can create stuff but never post it, we’ll take that out of the running. :) The ability to demonstrate what you do and how well you do it to people around the world, watching it asynchronously, on their own time schedules and when they seek it out themselves via search engines is both immensely powerful and addictive. I had a conversation with Phil Campbell in England and Liz Burr in California about a post I wrote the other day, and I haven’t discussed that post with anyone, IRL. The ability to express one’s self without the limitation of territorial boundaries is exhilarating… even in a text post like this. I also understand that it’s hard to explain to people that aren’t involved in it because *I* didn’t understand it until *I* got involved.

Since Star Power’s based on the added value that *YOU* bring to a project, it’s built regardless of the projects you work on… assuming you’re branding yourself correctly. If you’re the host of the show, you want people to know what your name is, so that if/when you branch off to do another project, people understand the quality you’re going to bring to it. At this point, both Veronica Belmont and Lindsay Campbell have parlayed this concept perfectly, IMO. People are aware of the value that they bring to the table, regardless of which shows they’re fronting. Is it useful and valuable for people in Japan to be aware of the work one does in the USA? Most definitely! :D

So… Out of the three, Fame does nothing for me personally, because it never really touches your life. Popularity’s fun and useful, but it’s something generated AUTHENTICALLY in close quarters, not across the wires and screens of the internet. When you know, feel and understand what REAL popularity is, internet popularity’s relatively worthless, mentally and emotionally. Star Power is great when you want to work with someone else on a project. They know the quality you’re bringing to the table, and can decide whether they want to collaborate with you based on their honest perception of you as a person and your qualifications as an expert in your chosen field.

I post because I enjoy it. If I meet great people IRL because of it, Great! :D If it makes it easier for me to work on video projects that I think are cool and interesting, Great! :D The only other benefit I can think of right now to Internet Fame is that I never carry business cards… I just tell people to Google “Bill“. :D