Bill Cammack » just friends

Platonic Relationships

Bill Cammack — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 19:55:48 +0000

Platonic Relationships

Here’s a fun video about why men and women can’t be “just friends”:

Granted.. It’s easy to skew a video like this by asking 100 gals and 100 guys if they believe men and women can be “just friends” and then only airing the responses from the gals that say “Yes” and the guys that say “No”.

Regardless, I think the video points out something interesting about so-called “Platonic Relationships”.

merriam-webster.com/dictionary/platonic
2b : of, relating to, or being a relationship marked by the absence of romance or sex

If you Google “Platonic Relationships” you don’t get anything.. Other than probably this article, once I post it.

I was surprised by this, because as much as chicks yammer about platonic relationships, I would have thought there would be a plethora of articles and definitions of this situation that they believe exists.

Two Decisions, Not One

The problem that I have with the concept of platonic relationships is that relationships are defined by the individual, not by the couple.

They seem to be defined by the couple, because one person says to the other person “Let’s go steady” or “Will you wear my ring” or some other nonsense that indicates that they intend to exclusively date the other person, and then he or she agrees to enter this verbal agreement that they’re now “together” or “an item”.

In fact, that’s not ONE agreement, but rather TWO agreements by TWO individuals.

Both people have verbally agreed to be exclusive with each other (whatever that means to each one of them). If one of them decides they’re no longer exclusive, they don’t require the consent of the other person to hook up with someone else.

If it had been an agreement which required both people to begin it, it would have also required both people to end it. Capisce? :D

In the video.. Whether it was doctored or not.. What you saw was a bunch of females saying they believed that men and women can be “just friends” and a bunch of males saying Hellz Naw! :D

Lindsey Chen and I discussed the basics of this situation back in 2008, in “Does He Want To Be Friends?”.

Basically, there are three situations where a guy is actually “Just Friends” with a gal.

He doesn’t find her sexually attractive
He shares things in common with her that make him friends with her the same way he would be friends with a guy
He has a better use for her that will no longer be available to him if he hits it.. Money, Food, Her better-looking girlfriends and female family members, Whatever..

The first one is the main one. If a guy doesn’t wanna tap that, we can be friends forever. :D

However.. If he’s not physically/sexually attracted to her, she actually has to have something about her personality or what she does in her daily life that’s of interest to him if he’s going to spend time with her at all. She no longer gets the chick modifier and will be scrutinized on the same level as if he were choosing a male friend to spend time with.

Of course, this is a much higher standard. This is why you see a lot of tomboys with a lot of male friends. The women are actually considered “one of the fellaz” because of how they carry themselves and what they’re bringing to the table, personality-wise. You don’t see a lot of girly-girls with a bunch of male friends, because nobody’s actually trying to have them hanging around unless we’re scheming on them. >:D

#3 is self-explanatory.. What’s the point of hooking up with ONE chick when you can become “Just Friends” with her and gain access to all of her homegirls? >:D

Also.. What’s the point of hooking up with a chick that’s a client of yours and take the chance that she’ll get all emotional about nothing and jack up your cash flow, when you could remain in a “platonic relationship” with her and use all the extra money you get to court other women? >:D

That’s not what we saw in the video. What we saw was women saying men and women CAN be “just friends” and men saying men and women CAN NOT be “just friends”.

What percentage of that population do you think overlaps?.. How many women are currently in platonic relationships with men that aren’t in platonic relationships with them? o_O

Same Word, Different Meaning

Women define “platonic relationships” as “We don’t have sex with each other”.

Men define “platonic relationships” as “I haven’t hit it yet”.

You see the problem here? :) The only way the relationship is *ACTUALLY* platonic is if BOTH PEOPLE agree that they don’t want to have sex with each other, but women think that just because THEY aren’t thinking about hooking up with the guy, he isn’t thinking about hooking up with them either.

This is why it’s so funny in the video when dude finally asks the chicks “Do you think XYZ dude would hit it if you let him?” and then they look all confused, because this is the first time they’re even thinking about it.

It’s funny because the guy has been thinking about having sex with her every time he was around her, but he knew that he needed to play the “friend” role to stay in the pocket until he could get on.

So.. How is that relationship actually platonic, when all it takes is for the chick to get horny one time, or mad at her boyfriend, or drunk, and then all of a sudden, she wants to give her “friend” some, and he’s down to hit it? \o/

It isn’t.

Ladies.. Here’s how you test whether you’re in a platonic relationship or not:

Ask him “Would you have sex with me?”
Ask him “Why not?”

Of course, this is purely hypothetical. :D

No guy in his right mind is going to admit to you that he’d hit it, and if he wouldn’t, he’s not going to tell you the truth about WHY he wouldn’t.

However.. In theory.. That is how you would find out.

Theoretically, He’d either respond “Yeah.. You could get it”, or some variation of “You don’t have enough ass to turn me on” or “Ain’t that type-a party” or “I value you for your mind, not your body” or “Aren’t you kind of nerdy to be having sex?” or something that would describe the reasons why he hasn’t hit it yet, and whether or not he’s planning to get with you in the future.

Other than that, you are *NOT* in a platonic relationship if the dude’s actually attracted to you, because the first time you spread your legs, he’s goin’ in. >:D

2 minutes into the video, this chick says “That was one instance”, hahaha What about that, Ladies? :D

What happens after you give your “just friend” some one time? Are you STILL in a “platonic” relationship? o_O

See what I mean? It’s all bogus, like how chicks wear white wedding gowns when they know they’ve been giving it up ever since dude bought them the engagement ring.

Everybody knows he hit it before the honeymoon.. Took it for a test drive or a thousand…

This just makes the situation worse, when women that know damned well that they’re *NOT* in platonic relationships with dudes play it off like they are so they don’t get stigmatized as a slut, which is a different ridiculous topic…

So, No.. Unless a dude HONESTLY doesn’t want to have sex with a chick, he isn’t in a platonic relationship with her. Period.

Even in the situations where he forgoes acting on natural his impulses to gain other things from her, that’s not removing his desire to hit it. He’s just trading that in for a goal that he perceives to be more valuable, such as more girls or more money.

Can Men & Women Be Friends?

Having said all that.. My friend Shauna mentioned that the video doesnt really explicitly state why men and women can’t be friends.

She’s right about that.

There are actually two different definitions of “Friends” that are going around. One of them means “I like this person and enjoy spending time with them”, and the other one means “I would not have sex with this person under any circumstances”.

When women say “He’s a friend of mine”, they mean “I haven’t had sex with him and will never have sex with him between this moment right now and when I finally croak”.

When men say “She’s a friend of mine”, they mean “I’ll hit it whenever she’s in the mood, but until that time, she’s nice to look at, so I’ll keep chillin’ with her”.

So.. While it’s absolutely true that there are LOTS of actual and honest friendships between men and women, that only means that they mutually enjoy each other’s company.. Not that dude wouldn’t hook up with her.

Whether that particular relationship is platonic or not depends on how BOTH PEOPLE feel about hooking up with each other, *NOT* that they haven’t had sex YET and that every time she defines their relationship as platonic to other people, he readily agrees, knowing that if he doesn’t, the jig will be up, and all this time he’s spent pretending to be her friend will have been wasted. >:D
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Single.. But Not Really

Bill Cammack — Fri, 29 Jul 2011 09:12:27 +0000

“Single” is another one of those dating titles that are absolutely meaningless, like “Just Friends”, “Friends With Benefits (FWB)”, “Girlfriend”, “Boyfriend”, etc..

No title means anything at all without consistent actions backing that up.

If you call yourself my friend and then I ask you for a very simple favor and then not only don’t you do me that favor, but you can’t be bothered to even RESPOND TO MY COMMUNICATION and TELL ME you’re not going to do me that favor, what does the title “friend” mean?.. Nothing.

You can go around saying I’m a friend of yours all year and it doesn’t mean jack-****.

Dating

As far as dating’s concerned, if you tell people you and I are “Just Friends” and then you hook up with me, what title does that make us now? o_O

Are you going to go around telling people we’re FWB?.. Nope. You’re going to hold the line and keep telling people the same thing, regardless of what the reality is, so the title is meaningless.

If a dude says he has a girlfriend, does that mean he’s only messing with her?.. Nope. Doesn’t mean anything at all.

At the same time, if a guy *DOESN’T* publicly claim a gal as his girlfriend, but he loves being with her and spends as much time as he can with her, she’s receiving what people assume is “girlfriend treatment” from watching television and movies, except what she’s getting is real.. authentic…

So.. Titles, in general, don’t mean anything at all. There are guys that are sexually faithful to women they won’t claim IRL, much less on the internet, and there are guys that marry women with ZERO intention of stopping hooking up with other chicks.

What someone calls you is worthless compared to how they consistently act towards you.

Single

“Single” is one of the most ridiculous categorizations available, yet, people react to this word as if they understand what it means.

I always mark Single on social media sites, just to see what happens. Mainly, what happens is that the site serves me advertisements ranging from Christian Singles to Jewish Singles to Cougar Dating to Sugar Daddy Dating and all of the ads use the exact same pictures of chicks with DD bra sizes.

Other than the ads I’m served, nothing else happens, because women know that if they step to a dude, they “might could get got”! >:D

It’s a totally different situation for women that mark themselves as single. It’s pretty much as if they instantly signed up for an online dating service, with all the unsolicited propositions they receive.

One of the main and persistent misconceptions bout Single people is that we’re disgruntled about being single.

Everybody wants to offer you women when you’re single… I mean, right off the bat, that perk right thurrr is enough incentive to remain single for your entire lifetime. >:D

Hook Me Up!

Back in the day, when I was like 15 years old or so, I was going on a trip with some friends of mine. The guy who had invited me had a girlfriend (whom he went on to eventually marry and have a family with), and she had invited some of her homegirls to come with us… I didn’t find out until the day was halfway over that one of the gals had been specifically selected FOR ME and brought along SOLELY to keep me company.

Obviously, my friend who invited me hadn’t been aware of who The Kid is, because I had spent the entire day kickin’ it with 3 or 4 OTHER CHICKS and never spent any time at all with my ‘arranged marriage’ until my friend directly asked me how I like her when all the chicks went to “powder their noses” (read: talk about us guys).

After that, I courteously spent some time talking to her, so her day wasn’t a total waste, but she wasn’t my type, and nobody had ASKED ME what my type was before they brought a girl for me.

This happened to me another time, years later, when my cousin Shanghaied me into a blind date situation.

She had invited a bunch of people to get together for dinner, and I wasn’t hip to the game while we were still mingling, but when it was time to sit down, I noticed that everybody there was paired up, except for this ONNNNNNE CHICK and yours truly and that we were suspiciously placed right next to each other at the table.

That’s when I realized that The Kid had fallen for the okey-doke.

I pulled my cousin to the side after dinner and thanked her for her efforts, however, I can’t just be kickin’ it with any ole chick that happens to be single and looking to retire from the game.

Meanwhile.. Women in general LOOOOOVE to be matchmakers. I mean, some of them, like my homegirl Maria are *ACTUALLY* matchmakers, but, in general, women that perceive unattached guys start automatically trying to figure out which one of their lonely homegirls could use some action in their lives.

This is obviously to the Single guy’s benefit, and causes a backlog of chicks to hang out with, even if he’s not making new female acquaintances of his own every week.

Frying Pan? Meet Fire

So.. As poor as the dating scene in New York City is for women to begin with.. It’s actually worse than it seems… Not all of the guys that label themselves as Single are ACTUALLY single.

It would actually be more intelligent to label us Free Agents.

“Single” simply means that I’m going to do whatever I want to do with whatever grown-ass woman who decides that she feels like doing it with me, whenever I feel like doing it.

It doesn’t mean I’m lonely. It doesn’t mean I don’t have several girlfriends that I spend time with on a regular basis. It doesn’t mean I’m looking to retire by finding one female that I can spend all of my social time with… The only thing it means is that I’m not burdened by any responsibility or guilt that will prevent a chick from GETTING GOT if she steps to me.

I will hit it in a box. I will hit it with a fox. I will hit it while eating Green Eggs & Ham. I don’t care. It doesn’t matter. I don’t have a wife or girlfriend I have to lie to about what I was doing last night.

This is one of the reasons the dating scene is so tough for women, besides the fact that there are 4 or 5 of them for every 1 of us here.

You’re actually competing against TWO groups of women if your goal is to meet a guy and corral him for your own personal and exclusive use.

The group of women that all of y’all are aware of, for lack of a better term, are usually referred to as hoes.

Type 1

Basically.. For every, like, nine women that aren’t willing to give it up, there’s one woman that’s willing to hook up with all nine of the guys that those gals are frontin’ on.

I’m not even including strip joints (read: sex in the back rooms) and actual prostitution. I’m saying that there are regular-ass women that are DTF right now, and playing that “I’m only going to hook up with him after the fourth date” game is only stalling *her* from getting on, and not him.

Whenever she feels like getting with the program, he’ll take it, but he’s certainly not waiting around for it like he has nothing better to do with his life.

So.. That “Make him wait for sex” rug has been pulled out from under women’s feet, and they’re going to need some new tactics.

The other set of women, who are actually way more of a hindrance to women that are looking to build Long-Term Relationships (LTRs) with guys, are what I’ll call Surrogate Girlfriends.

Type 2

There are only really two things you’re going to do with your girlfriend. You’re going to hang out with her, and you’re going to hit it.

Females attempt to maximize the “hanging out” part while rationing the “hitting it” part.

I’m not sure why that registers as a WIN to them, but it’s like ok, whatever.

Y’all might actually make it to a LTR if all the other women dude knows are “hoes”. Like.. If all he’s doing with them is enjoying the sex, but he actually likes you as a person, you have a chance.

If he already knows women that he likes to hang out with, spend time with, and attend events with, you’re pretty much Toast. (read: Finished. Done Off. Kaput)

If worse came to worse, and for some odd reason, he just HAAAD to select one woman, it would be one of his surrogate girlfriends, and not you.

I mean, seriously.. Think about it.. Why in the world would a guy select a woman that he’s only known for a few months, that’s been frontin’ on sexing him the entire time she’s known him, over a gal that’s been consistently excellent towards him for several years already? :D It doesn’t make any sense.

Dude has represented himself as Single, but if he wanted to get married, he could get married tomorrow. If he wanted to have kids, he could start that process tomorrow. If he already has several girlfriends, you’re not bringing anything to the table that he doesn’t already have.

On top of that, he’s already kicked the tires on these other chicks. He already likes who they are as human beings. He likes who they are as business professionals. He likes their senses of humor. He enjoys their company. He thinks they’re sexy. They’ve come through for him AS ACTUAL FRIENDS whenever he needed something from them. They’ve been sharing life together for years already, and there really isn’t much of a transition from the relationship they’ve already built to a traditional, drone-recognized “relationship”.

Settling

That’s why I say that the women “Single” guys know that they enjoy spending time with are way more dangerous to women’s raps than the gals they hook up with and don’t think anything at all of as people.

If a guy actually intends to ‘settle down’ eventually, it’s going to be with a gal whose personality he enjoys and whom he can see himself spending a lot of time with going forward, whether he’s hittin’ it or not.

There are always women around for sex.. professionally or otherwise… The needle in the haystack or the diamond in the rough is the gal that you just plain enjoy and look forward to being around, for aesthetic, emotional, spiritual and intellectual reasons.

Just because a guy marks himself as Single doesn’t mean he doesn’t already have that in his life, several times over. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t have any girlfriends. It doesn’t mean he’s not already in love with one or more of them.

In fact.. It doesn’t mean anything at all, other than that he’s currently unencumbered by anything that would prevent him from interacting authentically with you, should he elect to do that.
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We’re Just Friends!!!

Bill Cammack — Fri, 11 Mar 2011 14:26:57 +0000

I had brought this up before.. about how Sammi’s brain doesn’t cope well with information she doesn’t like.

When Ronnie told her it was over, she asked him like 85 different times to confirm it in at least 97,000 different ways before it finally sank in that he was serious and their “relationship” was over.

This week, Sammi’s lack of brainpower MIPS (Millions of Instructions Per Second) bit her in the ass….. HARD! :D HAHAHA

When you’re interrogating someone, the best thing to do is ask questions that you already know the answer to.

If I ask you “Did you go straight home?” and you say “Yes” and then I ask you “Did you go straight home?”, it’s in your best interest to consider that a) I don’t believe you, and b) I probably know something you didn’t think I knew.

This is what happened to Sammi. Nicole pulled her to the side, and with a stern look on her grill, asked “What’s the guy you’ve been texting?”, to which, Sammi replied “I don’t text ANYBODY!”, and then Nicole asked Deena what the guy’s name was.

It’s right at that point in time that your brain is supposed to inform you that you’re busted. Instead, Sammi continued to deny. This is because, like I said the other day, people’s word isn’t worth **** anymore, and she’s used to saying and doing anything she wants and nobody’s worthless opinion trumps hers.

Unfortunately for her, this time, there was physical evidence.. Text messages FROM HER to the guy, on his phone, that came from her account, and had her picture attached to the messages.

Busted.

Background

Basically, Sammi & Ronnie have been dating since the beginning of season 01, or about a full year. In season 02, Ronnie “cheated” on Sammi a bunch of times and she pretended to get over it so she could look cool, but it was actually driving her crazy.

They broke up a couple of episodes ago, after Ronnie told her it was over, so Sammi thought it would be a good idea to take Nicole & Deena’s advice and dress up, go to the club and rub her ass on some other dude so Ronnie could watch and feel jealous.

Ronnie proceeded to stroll home and destroy all of her belongings, including her prescription glasses, so she ended up going home.

Sammi came back relatively quickly. I think they said on the show that she was gone for a week or so.

Upon her return, she and Ronnie got back together, naturally, because they have nothing better to do with their lives.

The problem is that apparently, as soon as she went home, while Ronnie was crying about her and ordering flowers sent to her house, Sammi started texting this guy that arrived at the club and was the flashpoint for the ensuing ruckus.

Instead of fessing up, she tried to play it off and failed miserably.

Sammi was in the right to text the dude and invite him to come see her, because she and Ronnie had broken up before she left the house, so she was absolutely single. However.. Ronnie expected her to not to kick it to some rebound dude the very next day.

When Sammi returned, she could have admitted it, but elected not to.

In fact, she was actually dumb enough to go to the club that she texted the guy to meet her at. This is what happens when someone who’s used to being a girlfriend tries to do treacherous, sneaky things. It normally doesn’t work out because she doesn’t have any practice in it.

So she doesn’t admit she was texting some other dude, gets back together with Ronnie, and goes WITH RONNIE to the club that she had told the other guy to meet her at (being that she had been single at the time).

Actually, what’s even dumber about what happened is that she KNEW that the guy she was texting was friends with Mike “The Snitchuation”, the neighborhood gossip & town crier.. Absolutely THE WORST PERSON that she could have had knowing her personal business.

Beginning Of The End

So dude shows up to the bar and asks Mike where Sammi is and announces that she told him to meet her there.

The reason this happened is that Sammi FAILED to send him the “I’m back together with my boyfriend” text message. She FAILED to send him the “Act like you don’t know me” text message. She FAILED to send him the “Don’t **** up my relationship with Ronnie” text message.

So, as far as dude knew, Sammi was still single, and still wanted to see him. He was there to see her and was ready to get it jumpin’ off. >:D

Mike asks him for proof, so dude breaks out his cell phone and scrolls through messages Sammi sent him during the few days she was out of the house / broken up with Ronnie.

In an intelligent move, Mike calls Jenni over and has dude show her the messages. Jenni informs Nicole & Deena about what’s happening, and Nicole decides to run and tell Sammi she’s busted before Ronnie finds out and flips out on her.

Nicole pulls Sammi away from Ronnie, and asks her “What’s the guy you’ve been texting?”

This should have triggered a memory search by Sammi. She should either have wondered “WHICH GUY is Nicole talking about?” or, if there aren’t a vast number of guys, she should have the name(s) available for her right off the bat.

The question was not “ARE you texting any guys?”. The question was not “Are you talking to anyone besides Ronnie?”. Nicole asked her for specific information about a specific action. It’s the difference between someone asking you “Do you have money on you?” and “Which ATM did you get that $100 in your pocket from?”. The fact that someone is aware of how much money you have on you, *AND* that you went to an ATM to get it indicates that they’re referencing something specific, not taking a shot in the dark.

The answer to “Where did you get the money in your pocket?” is not “I don’t have money in my pocket”, when you know ******* damned well that you DO have money in your pocket, and exactly the amount you’re being asked about, which you retrieved from an ATM, to boot. The response is either a) “How do you know how much money I have?”, b) “How do you know I went to an ATM”, or c) I went to the ATM at Crenshaw & Slauson.

Similarly.. The response to “What’s the guy you’ve been texting?” is either a) “Who told you I was texting a guy?”, b) “How do you know I’ve been texting a guy?”, or c) a list of names of the guys you’ve been texting…. The answer “I don’t text ANYBODY!” clearly isn’t going to save your ass, because the way the question was formed indicates knowledge of your actions prior to approaching you.

So Sammi lies and says she hasn’t been texting any guys. She had already been busted on the reunion special for season 01 when they showed footage of her commiserating with Mike about this guy that she had been talking to behind Ronnie’s back. There was footage of her and Mike in her room and also driving together in the car, talking about her treachery, and for some odd reason, Snitchuation backed her play, violating “Guy Code” or “Dude Code” or “Bro Code” or whatever they call it, and completely siding with “Girl Code”, like Ronnie accused him of a full year later.

This was a problem as well. Nicole had stepped to Sammi so they could get their lies straight and do damage control. Sammi, thinking she’s smarter than she actually is….

Believing Your Own Hype

I have to go off on a tangent, here. :D If you’re an attractive female, and it seems like everybody agrees with what you say, they don’t. It’s easier to get laid if you agree with what hawt chicks say, is why nobody argues with you. Also, your opinions don’t have any bearing on anything important, so there’s no reason to jar you from your illusions and delusions.

Please don’t let this go to your head, where you think you’re actually SMARTER than the people surrounding you. When people know you’re wrong, they STFU so they can remain in your good graces and get the benefits. Girls benefit from the trickle-down guys they get to rap to that you reject. Guys get to benefit because they get to screw you.

Do yourself a favor, and figure out your relative intelligence before you attempt to run scams or lie about texting guys behind your recently-broken-up-with boyfriend’s back.

So.. Sammi, thinking she’s smarter than she actually is, doesn’t take advantage of this golden opportunity that Nicole gave her. Since she’s used to saying something and believing that people accept her word as bond, her brain elects to override the facts with belligerence. Her brain decides that she’s going to shout everyone down and tell them how it is, like Travolta in “Get Shorty”.

Had she been mentally functioning within the realm of reality, as soon as Nicole & Deena told her that there is a guy, on the premises, with a smartphone, that has text messages from her, with her face on them, inviting him to this very club to come see her, she would have sent Deena on the sneaks to try to tell the dude to play it off and not tell Ronnie what’s going on.

She couldn’t have gone, herself, because Ronnie would have followed her. She couldn’t have sent Nicole, because Ronnie would have watched where she went and come over to interrogate Sammi.

None of this matters, because Sammi’s response was to go on the warpath.

Nicole tells her “You texted him to come here tonight” and Sammi’s response is “No, I didn’t!”. Once again, wasted scheming time. Stop trying to dictate reality. You are not Nostradamus. You are not a Jedi. You’re not fooling anyone but yourself… *NOW*, Not only did Nicole tell you the name of the dude, and that he’s here in the club right now, and that he already told the fellaz that you told him to come see you here, but she’s telling you WHAT. YOU. SAID. IN. YOUR. MESSAGES. that he has with him, on his phone, right now, and that he’s already shown to Mike, Jenni, Deena and herself, and you’re STILL DENYING THAT YOU TEXTED HIM???

This chick is really dense. I think she would still have tried to deny if Chris Hanson had offered for her to sit down and have some lemonade.

Lesser Included Charges

Next, Sammi does the worst thing she could have done, and without making a plan with her girls about how she’s going to get over, she goes back over to where Ronnie is.

This is where I have to give Mike Snitchuation ultimate credit for his plotting. It worked out perfectly. Sammi still would have been busted if Mike had gone directly to Ronnie, because the evidence was in dude’s phone, but the fact that Mike enlisted ALL OF THE GIRLS ahead of time made Sammi look like a complete AssHat while they collectively explained the situation to Ronnie.

Sammi played “I’m so confused.. What are you talking about? :O” while Jenni and Nicole explained to her in front of Ronnie that the dude is here, he said Sammi invited her to come see him and he has the text messages still on his phone, to prove it, including her ******* picture on the texts.

So then, Sammi changes her story, ENTIRELY, right before Ronnie’s eyes.

All of a sudden, it’s not “I don’t text anybody” and “No I didn’t”, but rather “I will go ******* confront that guy, Arvin, and Mike, together, because let me tell you something… Arvin’s my friend from home!”

I’ve seen this a million times. Of course, guys do this too, but I’ve seen chicks change their excuse on the fly, when reality finally sets in that they’re not going to win.

You can’t change your excuse from “I didn’t have sex with him” to “I had sex with him because I was drunk” to “I made a mistake” to “I don’t remember having sex with him”… Which one is it? o_O

Unfortunately for you, excuses don’t cascade like Lesser Included Charges. If someone’s accused of Murder 1, they might actually be convicted of Murder 2 or Manslaughter, which is the exact same charge with lower levels of culpability / premeditation, so they carry lower sentences. Excuses don’t work like that. “He’s my friend from home” doesn’t fit inside “I didn’t text him”. “I texted him because we’re friends” doesn’t fit inside “I don’t text anybody”. Either you were lying at first, or you’re lying now.

What “Friends” Means

Also, just last month, I talked about what women MEAN in these situations when they say a guy is their “friend”. They don’t mean they like each other and pal around. They’re indicating that they don’t have sex with this particular male of the species.

For some reason that’s completely beyond me, women think that calling a guy their friend actually deflects suspicion. I just don’t get it. I mean.. When was the last time that a chick actually ADMITTED that she’s givin’ it up? o_O .. Like, to someone that’s not her boyfriend or husband?

Never, that’s when.

Any. Guy. That. A. Chick. Doesn’t. Want. To. Admit. She’s. Hooking. Up. With. Will. Be. Called. Her. Friend.

Get a clue, ladies. Everybody knows what time it is. I know you have to play it off, but don’t do yourself the disservice of believing that anybody believes you when you say it.

*PRO TIP* – Real Friends have something in common. That’s why they’re friends. People aren’t friends for no reason. This is why calling a guy your “friend” doesn’t fly. Just because you have a nice ass and he happens to like nice asses, that’s something you share in common, but it’s not something that makes you friends.

If you insist on using this as a cover, make sure you add the functionality of your so-called friendship in the explanation. “We work in the same industry”. “We both enjoy flying kites”. “We’re both studying Italian in the same class”. “We both have stamp and/or butterfly collections”. Make up SOMETHING that possibly explains why in the hell he would elect to be “friends” with you instead of boning you.

*PRO TIP #2* – If you’re going to go the “He’s my friend” route, make sure you select a guy that actually makes friends with girls for reasons other than eventually or immediately having sex with them.

DO NOT select a guy that’s a Hunter and expect anybody to believe he’s not doing his damnedest to screw you.

DO NOT select a guy that’s homeboys with your male roommate, who knows damned well that this dude doesn’t give a **** about you other than trying to hook up with you.

DO NOT invite your so-called “friend” to meet you at a club. Do not invite him to meet you at a club where your boyfriend will be in attendance. If you have to say something in public, play it off like you want to meet him for coffee (when everybody that knows him knows damned well that he NEVER drinks coffee and only drinks beer). Make some kind of platonic-looking excuse to spend time with him so that when you finally get busted, you can be like “So what? I had coffee with my friend. Big deal!”.

So.. Basically… As soon as Sammi changed her story from “I didn’t text anybody” to “I texted this Hunter and told him I wanted to see him and to meet me at a nightclub because he’s someone I know platonically from home that I don’t hook up with”, Ronnie knew what time it was.

Edited Conversations

I really don’t know what Sammi hoped to accomplish by confronting the two guys who were in control of the physical evidence of her actions. It was too late. The cat was out of the bag. Jenni, Nicole, and Deena had already seen her face next to the BBM text messages on the dude’s phone.

What was she going to do? Tell him to erase them? :D People had already seen them. She had already changed her excuse. She wasn’t denying that she sent him the messages, she was saying that it was OK that she sent him the messages because they share a platonic relationship together, based on………… o_O

So Sammi brings Ronnie over and steps to the dude. MTV proceeds to do a very creative edit that doesn’t make any sense at all. They make the conversation go:

Sammi: “You’re my friend”
Dude: “Yeah”
Sammi: “That’s It?”
Dude: “So?”

Then, they do a conspicuous cutaway to Ronnie standing there doing nothing so they don’t have to play the rest of the dialogue in the conversation, and next second, Ronnie’s walking away, upset, going “It’s fine. I’m going to the bathroom. I gotta go to the bathroom”.

This doesn’t make any sense at all, but it was the best edit the MTV producers could come up with based on whatever raw footage they had.

I’ve never had this happen to me, because chicks aren’t stupid enough to think I’m going to back their play if they bring their boyfriends to me, asking questions about my personal business. We can extrapolate what actually happened from the facts that we have:

Dude is AT THE CLUB BECAUSE Ronnie’s girlfriend (ex at the time) texted him, told him she wanted to see him and invited him to that specific club to spend time with her.
Ronnie was at home crying over Sammi and sending her flowers while she was texting with this dude.
Dude has the physical evidence ON HIM, in his phone, and everybody’s seen it already.
Sammi initially denied sending the texts, then admitted sending the texts while explaining that this guy is a platonic friend of hers.
Sammi claimed she was going to confront Mike and the dude, implying that she was going to get them to recant their story.
With Ronnie standing right there, she asked the dude if he was her friend.
Dude replied “Yes”.
Sammi asked “That’s it?”, requesting confirmation from him that they’re not messing around.
Dude replied “So?” instead of “No. We’re not messing with each other”.
More conversation occurred that MTV deleted.
Ronnie is upset and claims he has to go to the bathroom so he can escape the embarrassment.

Now.. If dude had said, in the part that MTV deleted “Listen, man.. I’m not kickin’ it with your girl. We’re “just friends” and she wanted to meet me here and have a drink and talk about her relationship to you, so I got dressed up, got a fresh haircut and drove my ass all the way here to this club, paid to get in and then paid for outrageously-priced drinks while I was waiting for Sammi to arrive for our platonic conversation about you that we can’t even have because it’s too ******* loud in here, so I probably would have had to take her to my SUV with the tinted windows and talked to her in the back…” Ronnie would have been ok with that.

That’s obviously not what happened.

Possibilities

One possibility is that Sammi and Ronnie stepped up, dude produced his phone, showed it to Ronnie and said “Here’s what your girlfriend sent me”, and let the facts speak for themselves.

Another possibility is that he didn’t deny messing with her.

This is what I mean about women trying to hide behind the term “friends”. Sammi asked him if he was her friend, and he said “yes”. That means that he likes her as a person. It doesn’t mean he’s never ****** her. Also, I’m sure Ronnie’s been in lots of situations where a chick he was screwing told people that he was her friend. Whether they believed it or not doesn’t change the facts of their relationship and sexual involvement.

This is why I’m suspicious of the word “So?” being the end of the conversation. It can’t be. She would have had to counter that with “You and I have never had sex, right?”, and then the entire situation goes downhill.

The problem here is that Sammi’s asking the dude to say “Yes, I’m a Herb. I hang out with girls for no reason at all. I don’t like to screw attractive chicks.”.. The second problem is that even if dude decided to lie about that for her benefit, he’s actually friends with Mike and has probably hung out with Ronnie before as well. That means they’ve all hunted together. That means Ronnie already knows damned well that this dude wouldn’t come to see Sammi for some bullshit platonic reason.

Another possibility is that dude showed Ronnie the text messages and said “No disrespect to you, dude. She told me y’all broke up. She invited ME to come spend time with her. I wasn’t trying to cut your throat. She never told me y’all got back together.”

He wasn’t obliged to say all that, because whatever he’s doing with Sammi is his own personal business and none of Ronnie’s business. If he’s friends with Ronnie, a very basic “Your ex girlfriend threw sex at me” is easily understandable and there should be no hard feelings in either direction. There was no reason for Ronnie to be disrespectful towards him for coming to a club to meet a newly-single female he wants to ****, and there was no reason for him to be disrespectful towards Ronnie for asking him about his personal business with Sammi.

Another possibility is that he told Ronnie “Yo. Mind your business.”

I doubt that’s what happened, because he had already told Mike, who told everybody else, so Ronnie was going to find out one way or the other. On top of that, dude is an actual friend of Mike’s, so there’s no reason for them not to clear the air so there aren’t any misunderstandings.

Another possibility is that he played the platonic friend role, but wasn’t convincing.

I doubt that’s what happened, because Mike and Ronnie know who he is and that he does the same thing they do when it comes to chicks.

Again, I’ve never been in this situation, so I can’t really say what I would have done.

What I *WOULDN’T* have done is ask Mike where Sammi is instead of just texting her ass and telling her to meet me by the bar. Either that, or physically going to find her, in which case, I would have seen Ronnie shadowing her and I would have known they were back in action.

Most likely, purely hypothetically, my reaction to Sammi and Ronnie coming to ask me about my personal business would depend on the level of friendship I had with Sammi. If she and I were TIGHT, I’d fall on my sword and go the “I’m a Herb” route, because I’m gonna do whatever I want with her ANYWAY, regardless of what her man thinks of me. If it makes her life better for her boyfriend or whatever to believe I’m a chump that hangs out with his girlfriend playing scrabble, that works for me.

If we weren’t cool like that, I would have shown Ronnie the text messages with his girlfriend’s face on it, let him read the evidence for himself, and said “If y’all are back together, cool. She said she was single now and wanted to spend time with me, so here I am.”

The other problem with the footage is that the dude looked completely calm in every single frame. There’s no “My bad, dude.” in his demeanor. He doesn’t look as if he just took one for the team and claimed he’s never messed with Sammi. He looks like “Whatever, dude.”, which is totally not the response Sammi was hoping to receive by “confronting” him and Mike.

The confrontation was supposed to yield a reversal from both guys. It clearly didn’t.

Whatever was said, Ronnie was rather upset, and broke up with Sammi, *AGAIN*! :D hahaha

Somehow, they end up in the kitchen, when Ronnie had claimed he had to go to the bathroom, and Ronnie proceeds to throw a min-fit: “Have fun with the girls.. I didn’t ******* call NO GIRLS while you were gone… I had every chance, on Thursday, to bring the ******* HOTTEST girl in the club home, and I ******* DIDN’T, because I was CRYING LIKE A LITTLE BITCH over ******* YOU!”

As much as I detest commenting on their juvenile, elementaryschoolesque relationship, I feel I should say that “If I had known you were sending text messages to another guy, I would have ****** this girl I met the other day” isn’t a good look.

You Betta Recognize!!!

The next thing that happens is that Sammi starts breakin’ on Mike, telling him she doesn’t want to have anything to do with him. Snitchuation’s response is basically “Don’t get mad at ME because YOU got busted! :D”.

In fact, Sammi has nothing to be mad at Mike for, because even though he was snitching and gossiping as usual, this time it worked out in the favor of the guys instead of the girls. Under “Guy Code”, Mike was obliged to inform Ronnie that his girl has been throwing it at his friend. Sammi has already benefiited from “Girl Code”, because if not for that, “The Letter” would never have been written, and she wouldn’t have been invited to sleep in the girls’ room after Ronnie destroyed all her stuff.

Typically, even though it may have been left out in the edit, there has been ZERO heartfelt apology from Sammi. She denied all the way to the end of the episode that she was messing with that dude. She kept saying “He’s. My. FRIEND!!!”, to which Vinny eventually casually replied “Girls don’t have friends that are guys.”

The bottom line, ladies, is that if you’re gonna mess with a shark, give him the respect of remembering that he’s a ******* SHARK! >:D .. He doesn’t believe anything you say. He lets it slide because it doesn’t matter, and it’s easier to have sex with you if you think he believes you’re right.

You can’t get away with the same excuses that work on Herbs because Hunters live in the real world and have been on both sides of the equation. They’ve been the guy lied to and they’ve been the guy that the gal lied to her boyfriend or husband about. They’ve told the lies to get the girl to give it up and they’ve told the lies that help their close homegirls maintain their relationships. They’ve looked dudes square in the eye and told them “Nah, I’m not ******* your woman” when they just got up off of her an hour ago.

Do yourselves a favor, ladies… Give a shark respect for who he is, and he’ll give you respect for recognizing game and coming correct.

Even though Ronnie sold out in the beginning of season 01, I said from the first time I saw the show that he should have been the top dog and squad leader over Pauly, Mike & Vinny when it comes to pulling chicks… Just because he’s been crying every episode and exhibiting Herb-like behavior doesn’t mean he’s not a shark at heart.

If your man’s an accountant or something, go ahead and tell him that you were texting another shark to meet you at a nightclub for platonic reasons. He’ll buy it. He’s not even going to be able to IMAGINE the kinky ways his girlfriend or wife gives it up when she’s with guys that actually turn her on and know how to put her body to work.

If you decide to date a badboy, understand that if you introduce him to another badboy as your so-called friend, they’re going to be able to detect each other, which most likely isn’t going to work out in your favor.

Mistaken Identity

I recently had a weird situation occur, along these same lines, but for the exact opposite reason.

I ran into this chick that I know but that I’ve never messed with. She could definitely get it, because she’s FOYINE, but I’ve never hooked up with her, dated her, nothing. She and I would actually qualify as “friends” in the platonic sense, not because I wouldn’t hit it, but because I haven’t yet.

I hadn’t seen her in well over a year, maybe even close to two. I greeted her, gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek and asked her how everything was going. She replied “eeh. :/” and seemed to be looking past me, over my left shoulder as she was walking away.

I found her statement and response odd, but didn’t think anything of it, because I hadn’t seen her in so long that who knows what the hell had happened in her life during that time. \o/

So later, there was a baby crawling around, maybe a year old, and this baby crawls over to me and is really friendly, haha, most likely because we’re approximately the same color and have the same texture of hair.

In fact, I had never seen that kid before in my entire life. Being the friendly person that I am, I smiled and waved at the baby and he smiled and waved back.

20-30 minutes passed, and a mutual friend of mine and that chick’s was talking to some dude I’ve never seen before in life and decided to introduce us. I walked over and shook his hand, but he seemed really stiff.. tight.. as if he had some kind of problem with me that I wasn’t aware of.

Shortly after that, I had another run-in with the baby, except this time, the girl I hadn’t seen in ages was interacting with him in a way that indicated to me that she was most likely his mother.

This put all the pieces together for me :D

The guy was stiff because he’s her boyfriend, and purportedly the baby’s father.

Meanwhile, a guy he’s never seen before shows up, knows his girlfriend, her kid looks like me and is very comfortable around me…. hahaha Like they say on The Maury Show, I am ONE THOUSAND PERCENT POSITIVE I am not the father, because I’ve literally never had sex with her ever in life.

If he had asked me, I would have said “Nope. I’ve never dated or messed with your woman.”.. Not because it’s any business of his, because if he’s worried about whether he’s the pops or not, he needs to spend the money on a paternity test, but rather because I’m actually *NOT* messing with her, and The Ki-Hid Is Not My Son! >:D

–
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10 Reasons He Wants To Be “Just Friends”

Bill Cammack — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 16:25:11 +0000

Lindsey Chen (@LindseyChen) & Bill Cammack (@BillCammack)

Lindz & Bill present 10 Reasons He Wants To Be “Just Friends”

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Top 10 Mistakes Guys Make When Trying To Get A Girl
10 Warning Signs That You Should Dump His Ass

Every once in a while, a gal will meet a guy that she knows likes her as a person as well as romantically, however, he refuses to make it happen. He refuses to take that extra step to start something up between them and see how it goes. This is when a gal finds herself trapped in the dreaded Friends Zone!!! :O

As usual, it’s Lindz & Bill to the rescue, with ten reasons why you might be receiving this kind of treatment. Let us know what you think in the comments section, below…

Lindz

1. He Wants to Keep His Options Open

Ladies, he would never put himself on a diet just in case he got hungry and wanted a cheeseburger and fries. The same with this situation. Tying himself down to you or any one person at all completely eliminates all the rest of the girls out there and to be honest, there are many fish in the sea. Many FINE fish in the sea that are looking for the perfect King Salmon or King Crab to go home with.

2. He’d Rather Hang Out With His Guy Friends Than Be Obligated To You

By not dating you or any other woman, he has the right to say, “No I don’t want to go to your sister’s Bat Mitzvah with you. I’d rather stay home and play Fantasy Football. Really it doesn’t matter what he is doing because if he’s not tied down to you, he has no obligation. Guys are lazy and they don’t like to commit. Maybe one night he would rather sit at home and watch porn than go to your Mom’s 60th birthday with you. Can you blame him?

3. The Holidays Are Coming Up And He’s Broke.

Having a significant other generally means that you have to get them a gift for their birthday, Christmas, Valentine’s Day. If he’s broke and legitimately cannot afford a gift for you, he may hold off on the boyfriend/girlfriend status because not getting you a gift will make him seem cheap and embarassing, and he would rather be single than be called cheap.

4. You’re Way Hotter Than Him and He’s Insecure That You’ll Leave Him

Guys really do think that way. He would rather not date you than date you and be dumped by you. Because then he would be that douchebag that got dumped by the hot girl. And it would hurt his self esteem and image for longer than you would probably be dating. He’s gotta look out for himself in this situation. That’s why you see so many good looking guys with not so good looking girls. They are confident that she’ll stick around. It’s hard being hot. I know…

5. You’re Damaged Goods (Bros Before Hoes)

Well you brought this upon yourself, what can I say? If you’re trying to hook up with a guy or date him, DO NOT.. I repeat.. DO NOT hook up, date, sleep around, flirt, text, his friends. Contrary to what you may think, guys DO talk and they will talk about that girl (YOU) who is trying to play them like they were born yesterday. So be wise and most importantly, choose wisely. One stupid drunken hook up could curse your future forever.
You’re damaged goods (Bros before Hoes)

Bill

6. He Doesn’t Want To Hit It

He thinks you’re fantastic as a person and all that, but he just doesn’t see having sex with you as being a good time. This might be because he’s not physically turned on by your body or he’s not mentally aroused by your mentality or your way of being. You might be too kinky for him or not kinky enough.. too chunky or too skinny, too prudish or too horny, you might have too much junk in the trunk or not enough bounce to the ounce! HAHA Who Knows? :D

7. You Can’t Handle It

“I’ve seen the future! I can’t afford it!” Sometimes, it becomes apparent that getting out is going to be tougher than getting in. Being that he has ZERO intentions of having sex with only you for the rest of his life, as much as he’d love to hook up with you, it’s ultimately more trouble than it’s worth. He’ll just have to be content to fantasize about it and keep it movin’! :D

8. HE Can’t Handle It

A brotha stands to potentially lose some Cool Points if he hooks up with a chick that’s TOO FOYINE and then all that “King Of My Castle” trash he’s been talking about women for YEARS suddenly evaporates into thin air. He might have to take a pass on this one in order to maintain his Social Cred.

9. Your Friendship or Business Is More Important

Keep your eyes on the prize!!! :D You don’t want to jack you career advancement because your now-ex-girlfriend doesn’t want to see your grill around the office. Bite the bullet on this one and get PizAID!!! You can pull a lot more chicks with the money you’ll be getting from this one. ;)

Also, if you expect a certain level of coolness and mental compatibility, close homegirls are hard to find. Beleedat! It’s TOTALLY not worth it to alienate a great gal because she’s sour that y’all aren’t hooking up anymore. But hey… I mean if she begs you, you might just have to do her that solid and hit her off, NAH MEEN? :D

10. You Have Lots Of Attractive Girlfriends

If he’s friends with you, you’ll introduce him to all your foyine-ass girlfriends that are always crowded around you at the parties! :D If he’s messing with you, you’re gonna hog The Kid all to yourself, and what’s the point of being SELFISH??? :D

Remember! Ain’t no fun ‘less’n your HOMEGIRLS could get some!!! :D

Lindz|@LindseyChen & Bill|@BillCammack

Lindsey & Bill: Does He Want To Be Friends?

Bill Cammack — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 20:43:07 +0000

Lindz from NNN / Tumblr joins me for a conversation about the ifs and whens of guys being friends with girls…..

B: So… Every Day, there’s some chick that’s completely confused as to whether some guy that she knows wants to be “friends” with her.

This happens in both directions… There are chicks that WANT to date guys, but they can’t tell if that guy’s physically attracted to them… And there are chicks that DON’T want to date guys, but they can’t tell whether those guys are NOT just tryinna get in their pants.

I’ll start off with the high percentage answer to whether a guy wants to be friends with a chick……

No.

This means that if a chick wants to give him some, he’ll most likely take it, regardless of what he told you when you asked him directly. Does that mean you’re in a “relationship” with him? No. Does that mean he’s going to iChat you tomorrow? No. All it means is that he finds you physically attractive, and under the correct circumstances, he’d be very glad to “tap that, sunnnnnn”.

L: You see, though, if she’s hot and you know that she’s outta your league, or maybe she’s the plain Jane next door that still won’t get with you, even though you’re the hottest guy to ever talk to her, don’t get discouraged. You can totally use this in your favor. One word: Wingwoman.

B: As with every rule, there are exceptions. Here they are:

1) He’s not physically attracted to you.

B: If he’s not tryinna hit that, it’s easy to be friends with you, because there’s no pressure. No sexual tension. There’s nothing for him to gain or lose by not pressing up on you. Hanging out with you is the exact same thing as hanging out with any other chick, or a guy. *yawn*

L: True. Very true. However, a girls attractability (is this a word? I think so) can grow depending on her personality. She can be a total goon and then you get to know her and all of a sudden she’s a supermodel knockout. Ok maybe I went too far, but you get the point.

B: Excellent point, Lindz… This is actually something chicks have to look out for that I wasn’t thinking about. That’s when there’s a changeover from not-hittable to hittable and what gets really confusing to chicks, when a guy that never paid them any physical attention’s suddenly talkin’ ’bout “Say… I lost the directions to my house… Can I borrow yours? :D “.

2) He’s not physically attracted to you.

B: Really… This is just about the only reason he wouldn’t tap that. :D

L: In most cases, yes I’d agree. But with a few beers or maybe like 10.. the possibilities are endless.

B: Actually, this is ANOTHER great exception that I wasn’t thinking about. Similar to how there are people that never smoke… unless they’re drinking… There are guys that won’t be attracted to certain chicks AT ALL until they don their “Beer Goggles”. This can be INCREDIBLY confusing for women, as the same guy that’s all over them the night before isn’t even trying to touch them at brunch the next afternoon. :)

3) You’re dating a friend of his.

B: There are only two things you have to remember as an American male, and they both amount to the exact same thing. Those are:

Blood is thicker than water
and
Bros before Hoes

This means that there’s an infinite number of chicks. They’re always making more. There’s no reason to kick it to your friend’s girlfriend. Keep your eyes on the prize! :D If you like your friend’s girl, just focus on the fact that you can get a chick more attractive than she is, sexier than she is, smarter than she is and more nymphomaniacal than she is.

L: Plus, going for your friend’s “leftovers” as I like to call it, makes you lazy. Get off your ass and go find someone for yourself. Don’t just look around the room sayin, OK I think I’ll take her, she’s the closest person to me and the hottest looking girl within eyesight. With that kind of attitude, you’ll get far in life. *Sarcasm*

B: True Dat! :) As a sportsman, you should be trying to get your own raps, not leech off of your boys… At the very least, make sure it SOMEBODY ELSE’S GIRL, not some guy you actually know… Sheesh! :/

4) He doesn’t like women at all.

B: Especially in New York City, you could look like Stacy Dash, and there’ll be a ton of dudes that AREN’T tryinna hit it! :O

smh…

L: True, this can happen a lot in LA too so beware. And if you are hanging out with someone and you aren’t sure, start being more observant. Does he wear pink converse? Does he buy women’s jeans? Does he frequently invite his best friend, Big Gay Al over and then insist that he’s sleeping on the floor of his room, then keeps the door locked with music blasting all night. Hmm.

5) You have something in common.

B: See, guys are friends with girls for the same reason they’re friends with guys… They Have Something In Common. Stop and think right now about what you have in common with the guy that you’re thinking about and wondering whether he’s actually a friend of yours. If you can’t figure out what you have in common…….. He’s just waiting to hit it. :D

L: Things in common that don’t count: breathing, living in the same city, working, eating meals frequently, showering, etc.

B: Most guys aren’t smart enough to make something up in common with you, so they just OK everything that you have to say. If you like a certain singer, he likes it, too. If you don’t like a certain type of food, he doesn’t either. If you wouldn’t be caught “dead” in a party in Brooklyn, neither would he! :D

L: Here’s another first hand example. If you love music and he loves to surf and all you talk about music and all he talks about is surfing, then both your conversation is one sided. If you’re not interested, you better make it clear, because this loser is just waiting to hit a wave. No pun intended.

B: This is where “E-Stalking” comes in handy. If you E-Stalk a guy, you can find out what he’s into before he finds out what YOU’RE into and figures out how to ! :D

L: And with today’s technology, who doesn’t stalk? Before I started writing this blog with Bill, I already knew that he has one sister, grew up in Manhattan, is an Emmy Award-winner and his favorite color is blue. Now its up to you, do some research!

Lindz & Bill