Dating for Misanthropes

According to Webster’s, a misanthrope is a person who hates or distrusts humankind. Now… Just because you hate people in general, that doesn’t mean that you can’t date them, or that you shouldn’t. πŸ˜€

Most likely, the reason you don’t like people isn’t because of the way they look, smell or taste… It’s probably that they say retarded things that get on your very last nerve. You’re gaining insight into their personalities or lack of education which increases the natural disdain that you had for them the first time you ever laid eyes on them.

All you need to do is follow The Kid‘s 5 tips for dating people you don’t actually like or have a shred of respect for, and you’ll be happily dating in no time! πŸ˜€

1) Take your dates to the movies

In order for you to successfully date, you need to AVOID hearing what the other person has to say at all costs. The less you hear, the more you’re going to like her and the better your date will be. Invite her out to the movies. Tell her you’ll get the tickets, and to meet you right at the theater at the exact time that the movie’s scheduled to start. Oh… do this by text message or email so as to avoid any unnecessary yammering she might do which will cause you to bail out on the date. Also find out if she wants popcorn, soda, etc ahead of time, so you can stock up on those before she meets you.

When she gets there, kiss her “hello”, give her some random compliment, like about he eyes or her hair, give her her food and hurry into the theater before she can strike up a conversation. If she starts talking before you get down the hall, ask her if her popcorn has enough butter on it so she starts eating it.

You may have to suffer a bit through the commercials, but once the movie starts, you’re golden. Do the “Richie Cunningham” to get your arm around her, then relate to her for the next two hours via touch and eye contact. When she tries to actually say something, shush her, reminding her that you’re both listening to the movie… together!… then go back to touch and eye contact.

Also, make sure you informed her you’d have to skate (slang for “leave really quickly”) right after the movie, when you initially made plans with her. Credits roll. Kiss her good night. Tell her you had a great time and then break north with no delay.

2) Take your dates to loud places

I discovered this technique by accident. I was in a bar, speaking with someone and barely able to hear them. I guess the crowd got louder, because someone turned the music up, and I was no longer able to hear this person that I was right next to. My first instinct was to wait it out, figuring that I’d be able to understand them a few seconds later. That never happened. What DID happen was….. They kept talking as long as I kept looking at them and nodding! πŸ˜€

This style is INVALUABLE for a misanthrope! All you have to do is take her to a place that you know plays loud music, like a dance club or a concert. It’s the best of both worlds. You can still utilize your touch and eye contact skillz that you perfected during your many movie theater dates, but you can’t hear a single word she’s saying! πŸ˜€

Compound the effectiveness of this technique by imagining that she’s saying really intelligent and fascinating things that make you feel more love and respect for her by the minute.

Just as the concert’s ending or they’re turning on the lights in the club, tell her you have to skate, and break north with no delay.

3) Make sure your date is insanely physically attractive

Of course, this is your goal in ANY dating situation… but it’s extra-important for misanthropes. The better-looking she is, the more bullshit you’ll be able to tolerate.

Physically, this has something to do with chemicals released in your body when she’s around that keep you from doing stupid things, such as erasing her number or moving in the opposite direction of her present location. Mentally, it’s like Spike Lee said in “She’s Gotta Have It”:

“You don’t throw away a Rolls Royce because it has a dent in it”

On top of that (no pun intended), the better-looking she is, the more time you’ll spend having sex with her, which means the less time she’ll be talking. I mean, yeah, she’ll probably be bumbling and stammering like an idiot, but at least you’ll be able to convince yourself that the reason she can’t form proper English sentences right now is because you’re hittin’ that spot! πŸ˜€

4) Make sure you use condoms

If there’s ONE THING a misanthrope hates more than dating a person they think is beneath them….. Is that a fair statement? Probably not. You can probably hate someone without thinking you’re better than they are… Weird… Anyway…..

If there’s ONE THING a misanthrope hates more than dating someone they think is beneath them… it’s accidentally having inferior kids with them. I mean, it’s one thing when someone with no connection to you AT ALL is a blithering idiot, but it’s like if her “dumb genes” happen to be dominant instead of your “smart genes”, you’re gonna be REAL SOUR for at least the next 18 years.

So, you know the drill… If you use these techniques to tolerate her long enough to have sex with her, don’t fumble on the 2-yard line! Wrap it up! No Glove, No Love!… NAH MEEN? πŸ˜€

5) Learn to talk to yourself

A lot of your problem with people isn’t actually how stupid they are, but rather that you hold all your disdain in and you don’t have an outlet to share how retarded you think people are with someone who COMPLETELY understands what you’re telling them and feels the exact same way about it. This is why you need to become your own traveling commiseration companion:

You: Oh. My. *GOD*, that was the DUMBEST thing I’ve ever heard!
You: I know… she’s an idiot.
You: TELL me about it! DAMN!!!
You: Amazing, isn’t it?
You: omg! grr
You: Ah, well, what did you expect?
You: Yeah… You’re right. Forget it.

See how you calmed yourself down? Learn to do this when you feel yourself losing it, and you’ll be able to keep yourself in the game long enough to get to the good part! πŸ˜€

~Bill

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How To Get Over Your Ex-Girlfriend


When a woman leaves you, you may feel heartbroken, depressed, wistful, horny, betrayed, disappointed… πŸ™ any number of feelings, consecutively or simultaneously. Here are five tips on how to move on with your life, and learn to love again………

1) Have sex with her sister

hahahahaha Just Kidding! πŸ˜€

… unless her sister’s HAWT! Continue reading “How To Get Over Your Ex-Girlfriend”

Trapped In Your Relationship?

Are you trapped in your relationship? πŸ™‚ Do you have like ZERO options other than your current girlfriend/wife as far as kickin’ it with chicks? πŸ™‚ If this is the case, then PLEEEEEEEASE don’t try *ANYTHING* I post to this blog as far as techniques on how to get women or how to treat women or how to carry yourself around women, hahaha πŸ˜€ Read this blog for entertainment purposes or if you’d like to fantasize about living life the way you actually imagined it, but DO *NOT* try any of this stuff with a chick that you’re stuck with. You’re just asking for trouble. πŸ˜€

If you’ve got like eight (8) kids with one chick or you live in the sticks and you’re dating the Sheriff’s daughter or you’re a bum and you have a Sugar Momma or you’re actually in love with some chick and you’re not gonna leave her regardless of what she says or does to you or any other trapped-ass situation… then do yourself a favor and don’t try to carry yourself like single guys do. Leave the fun stuff to the guys livin’ that life, and you do what YOU have to do to maintain your existence as-is.

Make no mistake, I’m not knocking getting married and having kids. If that’s what honestly floats your boat, more power to ya, and I’m happy for ya. πŸ˜€ What I’m saying is that if being stuck with one chick was NOT your plan for your life, but it turned out that way… play it where it lays. Recognize what the right thing to do is for YOU at this point in time and live your life properly, where you feel like when it’s all over, you did the best thing for yourself and everyone else involved with you. Don’t bother trying to be what you wanted to be when you’re stuck being what you HAVE to be.

I’ve been thinking about this for a few reasons. Reader “Frank” made this comment on “Ladies: How To Tell He Has A Girlfriend”:

Frank: Asabi: yes I have a GF and I actually do joke around with her about things. I have actually walked away from convos with her friends by saying ‘sweety, you getting played’! If any guys are reading and taking notes about the simple pimp move of buying everyone the same perfume, thats all good because you too just read it. Growing up is what many of us have done which is why we can joke about this stuff at this point in life. Yes, I did the buy 4 girls the same keychain from VS once just for the hell of it, but no, I would not do so now! Having done it or been around people who did/do it still, gives me an insight that I have no problem sharing. Buying two chicks the same perfume – Gangsta! hearing “Uh, no honey I haven’t worn it around you yet, why do you smell like that”? – PRICELESS! πŸ˜€

I do think woman need to listen to the playas in the crowd and ake notes. How ever disgusted you may be, archive what you just heard, it will probably come in handy for you or a friend later.
I don’t mind giving up some of the basic secrets since im not on the prowl.

Besides the sage advice for guys of buying the same perfume for different chicks, hahaha and the excellent advice for women to take notes when guys that are used to running circles around chicks are talking… The point Frank makes is that while he still HAS his game in mind, he doesn’t utilize it because he’s with someone that he really enjoys, cares about, whatever… and he feels INSPIRED to be focused on HER. I think that’s fantastic. It’s extremely important for a guy to have a proper view of what’s going on in his life so he doesn’t try some playboy ish he read in a blog and jack up a good thing.

Another reason I was thinking about this is I watched this movie, well, the movie was garbage, so I actually FFed through it, but this guy had a girlfriend who got mad at him for some reason they chose not to develop properly in the script. So she storms out of the house, talking all this yang, and you don’t see her for I don’t know how long, because I was fast forwarding haha. So the next time you see her, she’s all gleeful and runs up on the guy she stormed out on and jumps into his arms and kisses him and he’s all happy to see her. πŸ˜€

Now, I know this was a movie, but guys go out like this all the time IRL. I’m thinking, looking at this garbage… Where are the “Consequences & Repercussions” from her catching an attitude, acting like an asshole and breaking north with no delay? Where’s the conversation about her behavior? According to the script, dude gladly accepted her back as if everything was regular. There are at least two problems with this:

1) By accepting her weird-ass behavior, you’re labeling her a PSYCHO and admitting that you don’t care about that. It’s basically like, regardless of how retarded you are, I’m still gonna hit it. That has to do WONDERS for your own self-esteem and completely enables her to continue being a JERK.

2) By taking her back without conversation & resolution, you’re admitting that you didn’t have JACK better to do than to wait for her to come around. Witness your leverage plummet to sub-zero. The next time she feels like acting out, you’re going to be the victim *AGAIN*, and you’re going to keep grinning about it, too.

So I’m thinking to myself… “What were the script-writers thinking when they figured out this scenario?”. It’s got to be that the guy either CAN’T GET a better girl or DOESN’T WANT a different girl. There’s nothing wrong with either scenario, but if that describes YOUR LIFE… then Act As If and Act Like You Know! πŸ˜€

If you’re not gonna leave her, REGARDLESS, then don’t act like a decision-maker. Don’t act like you’re “wearing the pants in the family”. Play your position and do what you gotta do. Make that weekly trip to her Grandmother’s house to spend the ENTIRE DAY with her extended family and not doing ANYTHING that *YOU* wanted to do the whole time. Hit that mall with her on Saturdays so you can hold her bags and sit with other dudes on the benches, looking like lost kids at the security booth waiting for their parents to pick them up. Take your five (5) kids to the zoo while you dream about being at the strip club. Watch one of the myriad dumb-ass reality shows they have on television now about dancing or talent or whatnot instead of checking out the latest MMA fights. Buy that SUV or minivan that everyone can fit into instead of that Corvette or Porsche or bike.

Bill Cammack & KV

A good friend of mine… we’ll call him “Hal”… messed up and got this chick pregnant that he was kickin’ it with. I can still see his pained face… exactly… right this second. I hope I never forget it, because it was REAL. I was looking at the face of a guy whose life was about to go TOTALLY not how he planned it, and it was killing him. πŸ™ … OTOH… It was clear from our conversation that it would have killed him MORE to not be a father to his child. The kid wasn’t even “out yet”, and already he was devastated, yet prepared to “do the right thing” as he saw it and live into his responsibilities. I’m SO grateful that “Hal” shared that with me when he was in the midst of that angst. For me, it was an unique experience. I know lots of other guys that have had accidental kids, but if they had emotions other than ANGER or feeling STUPID, they never let me know about it. “Hal” was honestly devastated and was obviously really hurt by the change in his life’s direction. Within his devastation, though, was HONOR… His pain was the pain of sacrifice that one person honorably makes for another, as firemen do and as soldiers do in wars. HIs focus was shifting, and he didn’t like it, but he was gonna carry that weight.

A few years later, I was in contact with “Hal”, and his son was his best friend. He had completely grown into his new life, accepted it and was making a GREAT life out of it, so props to him! πŸ˜€

Another reason I wanted to write this is that about 70% of my hits come from Google Searches. People that search Google for dating advice receive information completely out of context. Anybody who actually knows The Kid can tell you that as nice of a guy as I am, I’m completely selfish and self-centered. It’s all about *ME*. Love it or Leave it. πŸ˜€ If YOU aren’t the type of guy to think “This chick is a JERK, and I can do a hell of a lot better than HER!”, then this blog isn’t for you. πŸ™‚ If you’ve got your mind or heart set on one chick, or circumstances have trapped you into a relationship you’re gonna be in until you croak, then get some laughs from my posts, tell your homeboys about it while you’re all sitting on those benches in the malls, holding your wives’ shopping bags and purses, dream about a different life, live vicariously, do whatever you have to do to make living life worthwhile…

Just don’t try some acrobatic ish you read on a blog in a relationship you actually care about or NEED. Leave the playboy ish to the players. Enjoy what YOU have and the way YOUR life’s going. The single life is *NOT* for the faint of heart.

Ya HEARD???? πŸ˜€

Bill Cammack / Empire State Building / NYC

DatingGenius
 
 

Bill Cammack Marriage Plans



Bill Cammack Marriage Plans, originally uploaded by Bill Cammack.

I’ve decided that I’m going to get married… Please have any attractive female billionaires with SOCOM skillz contact Bill Cammack regarding the tryout schedule.

ThxKBai! πŸ˜€

Does it matter what women think?

Reader Helene writes (in response to Tip for the ladies: He doesnÒ€ℒt care!)

LetÒ€ℒs talk about this, from DatingGenius:

Ò€”Ò€”
Yadda Yadda Yadda Blah Blah Blah EVERY.SINGLE.EFFINÒ€ℒ.DAY, some chick is confused about why a guy keeps trying to kick it to her. ItÒ€ℒs very simple. HeÒ€ℒs kicking it to you because HE.WANTS.TO.GET.WITH.YOU, *PERIOD*! HeÒ€ℒs not interested in what you think about it. HeÒ€ℒs not interested in what you have to say about it.
Ò€”Ò€”-

I feel that. He doesnÒ€ℒt care if he wants sex. IÒ€ℒm going to look on DatingGenius to see if there is a guide on how to tell if a man wants sex or a relationship. I think the man that wants a relationship cares what the woman thinks, right?

There are a lot of interesting points here, Helene…. First of all, that post was written specifically to address the situation of women being clueless as to why a guy doesn’t stop kicking it to them when she indicates disinterest or even disgust. πŸ˜€ The fact of the matter is that he’s not approaching you to get your opinion on things or to discuss politics. He finds you physically attractive or there’s something else about you that he likes (you have money, good child-bearing hips, whatever…) that he’s approaching you for. What you think about it is of no consequence whatsoever. The bottom line is desire-fulfillment… HIS, not YOURS. πŸ™‚

As an example, I was walking with a blabbermouth friend of mine the other week, and in the process of making a point to her, I mentioned that her homegirl was attractive. I wasn’t telling her that so she could go blab it to her girl like she BLABS everything else. I was trying to make a general point based on a specific situation my friend was privy to. Before I got to say what I really wanted to say, she goes “Oh… She wouldn’t hook up with you. You’re not her type.” πŸ˜€ Now…. First of all, I didn’t ask my friend what she thought about my ‘chances’ of hooking up with her girl. Second, all she knows about her girl’s “type” is what her girl is willing to TELL HER, so her idea of what her girl’s going to do and what she’s not going to do is completely irrelevant. Third, people are functions of combinations, meaning that how a chick reacts to me has *nothing* to do with how she reacts to anyone else on the planet, so until I kick my game and get on or not, speculation is worthless.

All these things ran through my mind in a split second, and I replied just about right when she finished speaking, “That doesn’t matter”. She looked at me surprised, and tried to protest, but I covered that up with another “That doesn’t matter”. We then went off on the tangent of how “what her girl wants” doesn’t factor in AT ALL to my initial attraction to her. Forget about the fact that she IS NOT her girl, so she has NO IDEA what her girl does behind closed doors. Even if she knew for sure that her girl didn’t like me for whatever reason, it’s of no consequence, because I’m talking about what motivates *ME*. I’m talking about what propels me to focus on HER and interact with HER instead of someone else.

This is why chicks would be better off if they recognized WHY a guy is talking to them in the first place. Without that knowledge, you’re grasping at straws when you try to figure out anything else about your relationship to that guy.

As another example, I was waiting for a bus with a crowd of people. This girl walks past at least eight other breathing, standing human beings to come up to me and ask me if I knew what time it was. I told her that I didn’t, and showed her that I don’t wear a watch, which I don’t, because I don’t *care* what time it is. πŸ˜€ The next thing that happened was…… She stayed right there and continued talking to me. Now… What happened to her desire to find out what time it was? *POOF* Gone, into thin air. Had she actually been interested in the time, she would have A) stopped at the FIRST person she saw to ask what time it was, and then made her way down the line, or B) if she DID walk all the way past them to ask me, she would have asked someone else right after I demonstrated the inability to tell her what time it was. She did neither, so the obvious inference is that she wanted to talk to me and used “Do you know what time it is” as the ice-breaker.

Now, let’s apply this to the club! πŸ˜€ When that guy buys you that drink, what do you think he’s trying to do? Do you think he thought you looked thirsty? Do you think he thought you looked *BROKE*, and he likes to hand out charity by buying drinks for destitute women? Did he buy any GUYS a drink? How about any UNATTRACTIVE WOMEN? ‘:) There are two reasons he’s offering to buy you a drink. He wants you to get more drunk than you already are, AND (drumroll) he’s trying to get on.

You can THINK whatever you want… He’s a nice guy. He’s generous. He respects you. He’s interested in what you have to say or what you think. He likes the same music you do… He doesn’t like the same music you do, he dresses poorly, he’s a creep, he can’t spell, he doesn’t pronounce consonants when he speaks, he’s a Cro-Mag……… NONE of that matters, pro or con. It matters as far as how tough or easy it is for him to get on, but your opinion of him is irrelevant and worthless when it comes to what he’s trying to do at that point.

As a matter of fact, a good rule of thumb is “If he didn’t ask you, he doesn’t care.”

Which brings us to your actual question, “Does the man who wants a relationship care what you think?”

The simple answer is YES, which is basically addressed in Only Date People Better Than YOU!. See the section on “Dummies”.

The guy who wants a relationship had better care what his woman thinks. However, first of all, he’d better care that she thinks AT ALL. There are lots of guys and gals running around this planet with ZERO common sense, or at least little enough common sense to land them on the Maury Povich show having paternity tests done on several guys. Considering that there are only about 10 days in a month when you can actually get a girl pregnant, and you can count backwards to the month she became pregnant, that means that every single guy she has on stage with her tapped it within a 10-day period. Considering some chicks’ in-da-club behaviors, if those 10 days spanned two weekends, we could expect four guys to be sitting on the stage, Friday Night (day 1), Saturday Night (day 2), Friday Night (day 8 ) and Saturday Night (day 9). Now, that’s bad enough, but if there are more than four guys on the stage…. smh.

This is why the guy who wants a relationship is hoping that his potential girlfrend/wife’s brain works at all. There’s *NOTHING* wrong with a chick getting her groove on as much as she wants to with whomever she wants to. πŸ™‚ However, if you’re going to be in a ‘committed’ relationship with her, you would like to believe that any kids that appear during that relationship are in fact… yours.

You also want to be able to take her places. When they have those couples get-togethers or business dinners, you want to be able to walk in with her on your arm and have people as impressed with her personality and mental faculties as with her looks. If you accept her without intelligence, you could be sabotaging your own career advancement while she talks some ignant ghetto ish to your COO. :/ Your girl is a reflection of YOU, so if you’re going for a relationship, aim as HIGH (mentally) as you possibly CAN! πŸ˜€

Also, in a relationship situation, a guy needs to know what his girl thinks so he can strive to make HER happy while he makes HIMSELF happy. You would hope that’s a goal of his in hooking up with her long-term.

Having said that… Like I said above, if he doesn’t ask you, he doesn’t care. If he’s minding his business, like he loves to do, and watching the game or something, and you come in blabbing about gossip from the job, he might listen to you as a FAVOR to you or to make sure he can get on later this evening, but no, he doesn’t CARE about that. πŸ˜€ If he did, he would have said “How was work today, dear? Was that chick still gossiping?” This is a totally different issue, so I won’t get into it here, but basically, you should get a checklist of the things he actually CARES about so that if you want to talk to him about something and have him actually interested and ENGAGED in the conversation, you know the parameters. πŸ™‚

How To Tell if he wants sex or a relationship? Well… First of all, it’s not *OR*. It’s *AND*. He either wants sex and for you to break north… or he wants sex and for you to stay around and hang out with him. The SEX part is a given, otherwise, similar to the girl that asked me for the time, he’d be kicking it with someone OTHER THAN YOU! πŸ˜€

Think about it. The way relationships in the USA are set up, being BF/GF / Engaged / Married implies that you’re not having sex with anyone except your SO. Why in the world would someone attach themselves to someone they didn’t intend to have sex with? On top of that, lots of guys want to have kids. Sure they could go the test tube or adoption route, but MOST OF THE TIME, they’re going to want to have their kids the old fashioned way…
By mistake.

Anyway…

If it’s possible at all, I would say the way to tell that he wants a relationship is by how much he focuses on your PERSONALITY. How interested is he in getting to know YOU? What you’re about… What makes you tick… What makes you happy… What you don’t like… The intelligent guy is going to want to know A LOT about a chick he intends to make his S.O.

The problem with this personality-based theory is that, like Omar says, “It’s all in the game”. Guys already know what women are looking out for as cues that they’re interested in more than sex. Knowing the cues makes it easy to “Fake it ’till you make it”. πŸ˜€

So… the best thing women can hope for is to meet guys through trusted friends that are willing to vouch for their character and keep your fingers crossed! πŸ˜€

DatingGenius