Bill Cammack

OK Fellaz, let’s get down to brass tacks here.

The way “dating” is set up in patriarchal society, it’s up to YOU, as the guy, to run the show. YOU kick it to the chick, she decides whether to give you some or not. You make the money. You make the decisions. You’re the “head of household”. No matter how much this society tries to make you into women, you’re *NOT*, so get over it and handle your business when it comes to chicks.

Having said that….. Since it’s YOUR responsibility to pull the chick, it’s YOUR responsiblity to be FLY! That’s a slang term meaning VERY GOOD in general, but in this case, we’re talking about your overall presentation. We’re talking about how you look, how you act, what shape you’re in, how ambitous you are in your career, how you handle your money… Top to Bottom, you have to be better than the next man if you think you’re going to get the rap to some chick.

LIFE. IS. NOT. FAIR.

You are not ENTITLED to a girlfriend.
You are not ENTITLED to have any female friends AT ALL.
You are not ENTITLED to have sex with a chick even if she likes hanging out with you.
You are not ENTITLED to have instant messenger text or video chats with chicks.
You are not ENTITLED to responses to your emails or direct messages.
You *ARE* entitled to….. *NOTHING*. :D

All men are NOT created equal. We may have been born through the same process, but some of us have distinct advantages over others. Go look up Alpha Males, Beta Males and Omega Males. If you’re a natural, chicks just like you and that’s that. You can do whatever you want, such as write blog posts that talk yang about males and females AT THE SAME TIME, and you will still have girls attracted to you just by walking in the door. Life Isn’t Fair. :D

The problem with Omega Males is that they refuse to correctly perceive themselves as the bottom of the barrel. They think to themselves “That good-looking, in-shape, well-educated, friendly, gregarious, charming, well-spoken guy over there can get girls…. so can I!” BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Wrong.

The first thing Omega Males need to do is realize their position in life. It’s like going to Alcoholics Anonymous. Unless you admit you have a problem, you’ll never go for treatment. The first step is admitting that YOU’RE WACK! … Say it with me now… “I am wack”. See? Don’t you feel better now? :D NOW we can get to the part where you attempt to overcome your deficiencies. See, by thinking you’re the same as guys that women actually WANT to talk to them, you’re doing yourself a disservice because you’re not trying as hard as *YOU* need to in order to pull a decent female. Then, when the chick cuts off communications with you, you try to blame it on her. You want to say she’s fickle or a tease or she led you on. Let me let you in on a little secret…..

Chicks in general are non-confrontational. You would think that’s a good thing, but it isn’t… not for YOU. It’s good for guys that girls WANT, because you say “let’s get out of here ;)” and she says “ok” and it’s on and poppin’. The problem for YOU is that she never wanted to talk to you in the first place. She saw you come in the door. She saw you on the dance floor. She saw you post up in her area. She saw you looking out the corner of your eye to try to gauge if you’d be successful in rapping to her or not. She knew what you wanted when you asked her what time it is or if she’d like to dance. She knew you were going to try to get on. She knew you would ask her for her number…..

This is where the non-confrontational part comes in. She will do one of three things. She will inform you that she’s not going to give you her number, she will give you a fake number or she will give you a real number.

If she tells you “no” from the get, she’s going to have to listen to you whining and trying to change her mind.

If she gives you a fake number, she takes the risk that you will call her immediately and realize that you connected to Pizza Hut. More whining from you and trying to change her mind. On top of that, she looks like an IDIOT because she “doesn’t know her own telephone number”. Now, she has to either tell you “no” or give up the real number.

If she gives you the real number, it’s still a trap. :) There are only two ways you can call her. With or without Caller ID. If you call her with your number blocked, she’s going to let it go to the machine, because she DOESN’T know who’s calling her. If you call her with your number showing, she’s going to let it go to the machine because she DOES know who’s calling her… Or, to put it another way, she knows it’s not anybody calling whom she actually picks up the phone for.

All paths here lead to frustration. The only way around this is to realize that YOU’RE WACK and start on the road to self-improvement. Let’s look at what you can do to make yourself less loathsome to chicks. :D

Improve your vocabulary. Go research the difference between “their” and “there”, and “your” and “you’re”. If this chick accidentally has a kid with you, she’s going to want the kid to be SMART, not STUPID.

Stop using primitive tactics to try to pull her. By using the same AMATEUR skillz that get you on with short-bus girls at the club, you’re demeaning the woman you’re kicking it to. She can’t believe that YOU believe you’re going to get on with such garbage. She feels low-rated and is less likely to give it up, so figure out how to step up your game, playah.

Stop trying to hide your kids. This is the United States of America. It’s very easy to find out that you have kids…. and a wife too, for that matter. Stop faking the funk. If you’re trying to get some on the side, “man up” about it. You might get turned down off the bat, but at least she respects you for not trying to get over.

If you’re *BITTER* about everything, KEEP. IT. TO. YOURSELF! :D Nobody’s interested in what you think you’re entitled to or how mad you are that you don’t have what the next man has. Suck it up, put a SMILE on your face, and show the chick a good time.

Go. To. The. Gym. You want to be in GOOD shape so that she’s HOPING you take your clothes off instead of DREADING the concept. :( You don’t want her to start singing the Fat Albert theme song when you emerge from the bathroom in your boxers.

If you’re NOT going to get in shape, at least DRESS WELL! Buy one of those hip-hop graffiti shirts so you look like a wall or an old-school subway car.

Watch black and white movies. Guys don’t know how to treat the ladies anymore. You have to watch old movies to receive the essence of male elegance and character.

And, the *most* important thing is to step to her “on the humble”. Do *NOT* act like you’re entitled to have her talk to you, text with you, email with you, video chat with you, dance with you, go home with you… NONE OF THAT. Just let her know you appreciate how she looks and you’d like to get to know more about her, then cross your fingers! :D

DatingGenius

A certain long, blonde, curly-haired friend of mine who will remain nameless doesn’t like it when I use the word “chick”.

I find this interesting, because “chick” is a generic middle-of-the-road term… like “dude”. Imagine guys running around town CRYING because chicks were calling them “dudes”! :D

The problem here is that you can’t please all of the chicks all of the time. When they’re young, they want to be called women, because that’s how they’d like to perceive themselves… as mature. When they’re older, they want to be called girls… because that’s how they’d like to perceive themselves… as young. Did you ever notice that? If you ask an older chick where she’s going… “Out with the girls!” “Girls’ Night Out!” But if you call a younger chick a girl, she’s all offended. :D

One time, I even had a chick get upset that I used the term “females”. I forgot what her argument was, but it was something like not acknowledging her as being human. :/ It’s like what would you like me to call you? You’re obviously human (or else I wouldn’t be talking to you). You’re apparently a female, unless you have something to tell me. So what would you like me to call you? “Male”? “Human”?

Of course, this problem is amplified when you do like DatingGenius and battle several chicks at a time. It sounds like a joke! :D “A single chick, a chick with a boyfriend and a lesbian walk into a bar…” Matter of fact, it’s probably worse than *that*! :D “A single Christian chick, a Jewish chick with a boyfriend and an Atheist lesbian walk into a bar….”

I don’t have the time, and CERTAINLY don’t have the interest to juggle all of these categories while I try to have a real-time discussion with people. I don’t have time to say women for the women and ladies for the ladies and chicks for the chicks and girls for the girls and females for the females.

Having said that…. :D

Knowing how easy it is to knock chicks emotionally off balance, what you want to do is MINIMIZE the chances of that by finding out which category your chick considers herself to be in and tailoring (read: manipulating) your language accordingly. Memorize her category so it seamlessly rolls off your tongue in conversation. :) If someone else complains about it, stick to your guns. Remember… “If she believes it… YOU believe it!” :D

You can also score points by defending against other terms when your chick is around. If you’re hanging out with the fellaz and one of them exclaims “Oh Man! Did you see that bitch’s ASS? :D”, jump in *quickly* with “Hey man… have some respect for the ladies!”. Chicks love that kind of stuff. :)

Also, learn your international etiquette if you’re going to travel. Just because you heard The Beatles talking about “birds” doesn’t mean that that lingo’s still in style over in Jolly Old! According to my friend Phil, “ladies” will get you by in England.

I find “ladies” to be a good, middle-of-the-road term of endearment here in NYC that’s currently widely accepted. For some reason “gals” works pretty well, too. Just pick something that gets you smiles instead of frowns and rock with that until the fad changes… kind of like how you tell a chick you’re going to make love to her, when in reality, you’re going to Tap That Azzzzzzzz! :D

DatingGenius

As you know if you’ve been following this column over the last 6 months, DatingGenius doesn’t “date”.

The term “dating” implies progression. It’s like something Richie Cunningham or Potsie Weber might do. You see a chick and you want her, but you’re not willing to let her know what time it is, so you beat around the bush taking her places in hopes that she’ll see you as the kind of guy she wants to give it up to. *yawn*

In fact, there *IS* no progression. A chick knows if she wants to mess with you off the bat. Depending on what you tell her after that, she either thinks more about giving you some or LESS about giving you some, hahaha :D … That’s all there is. You want to hook up with her, or else you wouldn’t be on a so-called “date” with her. Everybody knows it, so stop acting like you’re all sneaky and undercover and then try to surprise the chick with a “good-night kiss” when you drop her home, hoping that it works like in the movies, and all of a sudden, she’ll invite you in for…. a nightcap. :/

So, no. DatingGenius doesn’t “date”. He hangs out with chicks. Period. If they’re into DatingGenius like that, then CHA-CHINGGGG!!! :D If not, we have a good time anyway, then we go about our respective businesses.

Having said that, if you still insist on “dating”, like actually courting one person in a serial fashion with the intent of them eventually handing you a title that’s supposed to mean something, like “significant other”, then make sure you date someone BETTER. THAN. YOU! :D

Now, that might not seem to make sense, coming from the diabolical, empty-life-having (bookstore chick’s friend informed me of this a couple of weeks ago), sinister, evil, manipulating DatingGenius! :D You would think that he would advocate kicking it to the dumbest, low-brow character you can find in order to maximize your control over the situation. Dummies and lowlives are great if you’re just trying to get on ASAP and don’t intend to see them ever again in life. If you’re actually going to REPRESENT with this person, like as in let ANYONE ELSE know that you’re messing with them… That person needs to be a FANTASTIC individual. This is actually MORE IMPORTANT for the ladies than it is for the fellaz, so pay attention. :D

[Part 1: Dummies]

Let’s say the person you’re dating is a dummy. Like they’re just not intelligent. Maybe you’re on iChat with them and it takes them mad, crazy, stupid long to type a response to you, and then after all that waiting, it’s like a line and a half because they were only using their two pointer fingers to peck at the keyboard. Or maybe they can’t spell for JACK, and you’re wondering if they dropped out of school in the 5th grade to pack bags for change at the supermarket, then got hooked on drugs before making it back into the school system.

If you actually date this idiot, regardless of how good he or she looks or how good the sex is, don’t give yourself credit like you’ve pulled off some fantastic feat. In fact, anyone smarter than them will be able to manipulate them if they choose to, and you’ve “built your house on sand”… if not quicksand.

On top of that, you can’t TAKE this person ANYWHERE! :D Unless they happen to LOOK intelligent and you can convince them to not say ANYTHING around your peers, this person is an accident waiting to happen… Actually, an accident TRYING to happen, because it’s been my experience that the dumber someone is, the more they try to impress other people. Did you notice that? :D It’s like the smartest people, most of the time in a conversation, they’re listening and PROCESSING what people are saying. When they finally say something, it’s worth hearing and it’s the product of what they’ve absorbed from what’s been going on. Meanwhile, you see the dummies sitting there staring at the mouth of the person who’s talking… They seem to be trying to synchronize, like double dutch, getting ready to jump into the conversation when they perceive that the current speaker is about to finish his or her point.

The problem with this is that if you’re synchronizing, you’re not LISTENING, which becomes apparent when the dummy jumps in with something relevant to 10 minutes ago when they finally had ONE good idea, and they’ve been waiting until now to get a word in edgewise. That’s when the entire conversation stops and everyone tries to be polite. There’s this silent exchange that goes on between everyone. They’re not so much being polite to the dummy as they’re being polite TO *YOU* because it’s YOUR FAULT that this person’s in here $&%*ing up the program! :D Basically, people are embarrassed *for* you, and everyone’s trying not to mention that the emperor has no clothes on.

This is easily avoided, if you insist on dating dummies and bringing them out in public, by not giving them a title when you introduce them. We all have those friends… Every so often, they come around with a new…. person… and they introduce this person by name, but no title. Like, it’s clear that they’re out on a date, but by not declaring this person, you get to play it off down the line. Oh… That was a business partner from the Kentucky branch, my job asked me to show him around. Oh… That was my CEO’s daughter, visiting from San Diego. Who? When?… OH!… I was interviewing her for that intern position (at 11:30 pm). This only works, however, if you know you’re going to get rid of them eventually. If you end up eventually declaring them, you look like a chump for trying to play it off.

You also can’t leave people like this alone with your friends. Do NOT go to the bathroom. Do NOT go to the bar to order drinks. Do NOT pass “go” and Do NOT collect $200. Stick to this person LIKE GLUE. If you leave, and your friends ask your date “What do you think about Obama” and they reply “I think he’s still hiding in those mountains”, you’re *dead*. Laughing stock. You will NEVER live it down.

DatingGenius

I had this same conversation at least three times last week, so I may as well write it down so next time it comes up, I can save my breath and point the chick to this post. :)

Here is something very important that women need to know that could save you HOURS of wondering about why some guys do the things they do. This is a major stumbling block, and if you can get over it, you’ll be more effective in dealing with men…. especially men you aren’t interested in hooking up with. Ready? :D Pay attention, now………..

When it comes to ‘getting on’, Guys.Do.Not.Care.What.Chicks.Think.

That’s it. Period. That’s the tip that will save you HOURS of confusion and commiseration with your girlfriends over Haagen Dazs. Guys do *NOT* care AT.ALL what you think.

Now, let’s go over some typical and oft-repeated statements that women make:

“Didn’t he see my wedding ring?”
“I told him I only saw him as a friend”
“I wasn’t dressed sexy, but he still tried to get my number”
“Every time I talk to him, I only give short answers”
“I told him I wasn’t interested in him, romantically”
“I told him I was a lesbian and introduced him to my girlfriend”
“What makes him think I’ll date him after he dated my sister?”
“We can’t XYZ… We work together!”
“How dare he ask me out when I know he has a girlfriend?”

Yadda Yadda Yadda Blah Blah Blah EVERY.SINGLE.EFFIN’.DAY, some chick is confused about why a guy keeps trying to kick it to her. It’s very simple. He’s kicking it to you because HE.WANTS.TO.GET.WITH.YOU, *PERIOD*! He’s not interested in what you think about it. He’s not interested in what you have to say about it. Let’s look at what floats a lot of guy’s boats… pornography.

Pornography is ‘what?’ for the most part?….. Pictures & Videos. There may be audio content as well, but the audio pertains to the sex. These things are flying off the shelves. Pornography is BIG BUSINESS. Now, let’s think about how many of these publications (… I almost spelled pubications just now :/) and videos include chicks talking, or expressing their thoughts about something intelligent like the stock market or taxes or computer programming……. NONE. Why? Because when it comes to getting on, NOBODY CARES what you think. They care about what you look like and what you’re going to do. Period.

Now, let’s revisit some of our typical chick quandaries above, in relation to pornography:

“The porno chick had on a wedding ring?”
- So what?

“The porno chick wasn’t dressed sexy, but he still tried to get her number”
- The plan is to get her OUT of her clothes in the first place, so what difference would it make to a guy whether a chick has on pumps or sneakers? What difference does it make if she has on a leather mini or baggy sweats? None.

“The porno chick only gives him short answers to his questions”
- Short answers are better than NO answers. You’re still in the game if you’re getting ANY answers at all. That’s the whole point, to stay in the game until you can get on by hook or crook….. mostly, CROOK! :D

“The porno chick told him she wasn’t interested in him, romantically”
- He’s not interested in HER romantically, either. He just wants to hit it. Women tend to confuse a guy being physically interested in her for sex with liking her as a person. More on that in another post. Let’s just say that one has nothing to do with the other.

“The porno chick is a lesbian”
- Good. That way she’ll mind her own business when I meet other chicks, OR she’ll bring extra chicks, and I won’t have to do any work to hook up with them. Regardless of what she claims she’s into, a hot chick is a hot chick. Lesbianism is merely an accessory… a fringe benefit. :D

“What makes him think the porno chick will date him after he dated her sister?”
- See the lesbian section, above. The more, the merrier. Extra points if they’re related.

“How dare he ask the porno chick out when she knows he has a girlfriend?”
- There are enough chicks out there that will mess with “taken” guys or married guys or whatever. I mean, that’s NOTHING… If you take a look around the internet, you’d be SURPRISED at some of the stuff they can get chicks to do, like not even with PEOPLE! :O So, having it be known that you have a significant other doesn’t lessen your odds of getting on one iota. In some cases, it makes you MORE attractive to chicks for several reasons, including that it seems like a challenge to try to get “some other chick’s guy” to hook up with her.

So there you have it. Of course, some of y’all tuned out to the analogies because you don’t consider yourselves porno chicks. This is like the phenomenon where women will go out to a club and dance happily and sing along with “Bitches Ain’t ish But Hoes & Tricks”… because… say it with me, ladies!!! :D

“Oh… He’s Not Talking About *ME*!!! :D”

hahahahahaha

So that’s the trick that leads to your enlightenment about those guys that try to pick you up at the club or the gym or the supermarket or waiting for the bus or in the street in the middle of the night near Port Authority, when it’s time for the runaways to beat the clock for the last bus heading back to their part of Jersey….. um… what was I talking about?….

DatingGenius

So, DatingGenius ran into Bookstore-Chick last night… The one that inspired “Take her to the Book Store!” or book-store-technique. She reports that she’s still happily dating Bookstore-Guy, so that’s a good testimonial for the technique! DatingGenius is happy for them. :D

As usual, which is why I gave Sorcha her propers for speaking her mind and sharing her opinion… It turns out that Bookstore-Chick *READ* the post, knowing DAMNED WELL that it was entirely about HER… DID *NOT* reply to the thread, positively or negatively, DID *NOT* make any other attempts to contact DatingGenius, probably WOULD NOT HAVE mentioned anything at all, if I had not brought it up, AND asked her if she had read it AND what she thought of it….. :D

Not only did she read it, she had Bookstore-Guy read it as well. Same deal. Zero communication. I guess this is why they’re called BOOKSTORE guy and girl and not INTERNET guy and girl! :D Anyway… They’re not the point here…

So Bookstore-Chick shows up all late to the hangout. She also brought her ok-looking female friend with her.

NOTE: From the dim lighting in the spot, and being pretty well alcoholized by the time they showed up, her friend actually qualified as “cute”. However, DO NOT mention this to chicks off the bat. Make sure they know that you think they’re “ok”, or my personal favorite, “alright”.

Yo! You saw that chick? :D
Yeah… She’s aiiite. :/

Do NOT let chicks get souped up on themselves off the bat. It’s a HORRIBLE bargaining position, and you’ll be working your way out from under that one for-EV*A*R.

This presented DatingGenius with a problem…. The problem of CONTEXT. Under normal circumstances, by that time of the night, DatingGenius is verbally fighting against 5 or 6 people, siting around a table trying to bash either him as an evil, despicable, dastardly, underhanded individual or bash his theories! >:D This is a progression, however. I don’t walk in the door kicking game. We meet and greet, have some boring fun, then it’s time to get down to the nitty-gritty! :D Bookstore-Chick had already been through this process… Actually, it was HER mentioning all HAPPILY that she was taken on a date to a BOOKSTORE that got the festivities jumping off that evening. With her friend (the “ok” one), I received the double-whammy.

First, when I asked Bookstore-Chick if she had read the post, she turns to her friend and says like three words, and her friend is like “OH… THIS IS THE GUY THAT WROTE THAT?” So I’m like “awwww here we GO!” hahahaha. Second, instead of making it there for meet & greet happy-time social hour, they show up during a heated debate about something like the irrelevance of a chick claiming lesbian status in the grand scheme of whether you’re going to get on or not, so The Kid was in full effect, all gears spinning, battle-mode. So, of course, with this new chick having ZERO IRL context of meeting DatingGenius BEFORE battle-mode, I get into an argument with this chick about bookstore technique.

Usually (and this was no exception), when someone arrives without context to one of my conversations, they make two fundamental errors. 1) They assume that the way I’m talking with the group is how I would tangibly represent myself in a situation of “kickin’ it” with a chick. 2) They assume that what I’m ADVISING for other people is what *I* use, myself. :D

I try to let chicks understand that what they’ve been invited to is the proverbial “locker room”, as in “locker room conversation”, meaning the stuff that guys talk about and KEEP CHICKS FROM KNOWING ABOUT. They are receiving the *BENEFIT* of being treated like a guy and welcomed into the inner circle where we discuss IMPORTANT ish! :D Because they now have dual-citizenship of ACTUALLY being females, but being talked to AS IF they were males, in “the locker room”, they misunderstand my locker-room behavior as my kicking-it-to-a-viable-chick behavior. This is where you start hearing stuff like “I can’t believe you said that!” and “I’d NEVER date *YOU*! :(” blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah…..

Think about it like an actual football game. What happens in the locker room? The guys declare that they’re going to go out there and RIP the other team’s HEADS OFF!!! :D ….. Then… What happens when those same two teams EXIT the locker room and get on the field? … That’s right. They SHAKE HANDS! Have you ever seen a boxing-style staredown during the coin toss? Nope! Complete gentlemen. Then, what happens when you try to catch that pass high and away over the middle? CRAAAAAAAAAACK, the middle linebacker smashes you in the ribs! :D

“The Game” is exactly the same way. You don’t bring your locker-room style out onto the field. In the locker room, we’re kickin’ INFRASTRUCTURE. It’s the “WHY?” behind what you ACTUALLY do when it’s Game ON! It’s the real deal. It’s not some bullshit Dr. Phil advice like “buy her some flowers” or “be nice to her”. It’s tactics, techniques and the underlying psychology behind WHY those tactics and techniques actually work. Are chick supposed to like it or be happy about it? No. :D They’re SUPPOSED to be mad about it because they don’t want to believe how easily they’re manipulated. It’s like how this stewardess-looking chick was on “The View” as the girlfriend of this so-called “greatest pickup artist” who looks and sounds like he doesn’t even LIKE WOMEN, and she’s talking about “none of his tactics worked on me… that’s what he liked about me! :D” ….. idiot. Look at YOU and Look at HIM. You.Got.Gamed. He schemed on getting you in the locker room, shook your hand and smiled in your face when you met him and then proceeded to SMASH YOU IN YOUR RIBS when you came floating across the middle after that high-and-away pass.

The second contextual issue with people jumping into these conversations all late is that the assumption is made that what I’m ADVISING for other people to do is what I HAVE TO DO, myself.

I don’t have to do *ANYTHING*. It’s a numbers game. There’s a percentage chance that any given chick will be into me off the bat. Even if that percentage is low, when you apply that percentage in a city that LITERALLY has over 1,000,000 (one million) chicks in it, all you have to do is SHOW UP to get on. You don’t even have to SAY anything! :D I’ve had chicks approach me that don’t.even.speak.English, and I’ve had to get people to translate what they were saying to me.

My advice is for people who are having PROBLEMS with getting chicks to do what they want them to do. I’d like to have more advice for the ladies as well, haha but as you can see, they’d rather LURK on internet boards than chime in and ask a brotha a question or three! :D Anyway, there’s no better tactic than “be the best person you can be, looks-wise and personality-wise”. Just by being better than other people, you automatically go to the head of the class and become a target. It’s the same thing that works for chicks. When that stunning girl walks in the room and everybody’s like :O she doesn’t have to SAY or DO anything. It’s a wrap as soon as she shows up. SOMEBODY in that room wants to give her what she wants…..

Bill Cammack
DatingGenius

I just became aware of a video blog that is geared towards dating tips for females. I thought I’d take this opportunity to give the ladies the only dating advice they need… and here it is……

Go outside.

That’s all. Go outside. Females are always going to be in demand, well… ATTRACTIVE females… because guys are always going to want to have sex with attractive girls/women. Regardless of the latest fads of metrosexuals and all this other weird stuff going on these days, a good-looking girl will NEVER go out of style.

Having said that… There are certain people you should NOT listen to when they hand out advice for women. One of these people is Oprah….

DO NOT LISTEN when Oprah says you are attractive no matter what you look like. Don’t listen. It’s not true. Nope. :D Go ahead and take your chances, but unless you have some kind of mental edge on the rest of the female population, you will be passed up for better-looking girls 98% of the time. It’s a fact. Live with it. :)

If it were actually the truth that Oprah believed women were aiiite in whatever state of disrepair they allowed themselves to descend to, she wouldn’t keep dieting every so often. YA HEARD? :D

If it’s REALLY all cool for y’all to look like “whatever’s clever”, then Oprah would weigh about 800 lbs by now and be on stage eating bon bons during the commercial breaks. It’s not the truth. Don’t go for the “okey-doke”. :D Stay in shape. Period.

DO NOT LISTEN when your hairdresser tells you you would look better with some form of crew-cut or weirdo hairstyle from out of a 1960s magazine about The Rolling Stones. Having the same haircut as Charlie Watts is NOT cute for a chick. Don’t do it. :/ Don’t go for the “okey-doke”.

If you want to know what looks good on a female, ask someone that likes females. Just because some magazine did an article on some artistic thing that someone did to some woman’s head, that doesn’t mean it’s going to look good on YOU, and it doesn’t mean that you’re going to get ANY RAPS until your hair grows back. :)

DO NOT DATE *ANYONE* THAT CALLS YOU “WIFEY MATERIAL”. Don’t do it. Don’t go for the “okey-doke”. “Wifey Material” is an anomaly. It’s a term used by guys that are very familiar with NON-WIFEY MATERIAL. It means I would treat her differently than all the other chicks I run into. It does NOT mean that you’re special. It means you are perceived to be on a certain plateau. It’s YOU and the other chicks that are “wifey material”.

Material is a substance. They may as well call you “ice cream”. I like ice cream. I think ice cream is delicious. That doesn’t mean I’m going to devote myself to ONE BOX OF ICE CREAM. If I like Vanilla, for instance, that means that I’m going to like everything that qualifies to me as well-made Vanilla ice cream. I might treat that ice cream differently, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to eat Chocolate ice cream. Get it?

“Wifey Material” means you’re going to try YOUR DAMNEDEST not to get caught coming out of the next chick’s apartment. It means you’re going to hide your true nature from this chick in order to keep her around as long as possible. It’s almost better for you NOT to be “wifey material”, because you might get a more realistic representation of how the guy really is and what he thinks of you and his relationship to you.

So… To recap….. DO NOT let yourself get out of shape. DO NOT let hairstylists do weirdo things to your hair. DO NOT listen when the guy at the club @ 2am trying do do some ‘parking lot pimping’ tells you you’re the ONLY special girl he’s ever met in his try-to-get-laid-two-days-out-of-every-seven-’cause-he’s-broke-the-other-five-days dating career and that he’d like to “wife you up”.

DatingGenius

Fellaz!!!

Make sure you play your environments to your strengths. Use the effects of Light & Magic to your best advantage when you’re out kickin’ game to the chickadees! :D

I went to watch the Queens of Pain demolish the Brooklyn Bombshells in Roller Derby the other day. So after the game, there was an after-party. The first thing I noticed was that I could hear the music VERY CLEARLY from outside of the bar. :/ When I walked inside, the first thing I noticed…….. was NOTHING! It was so dark in there that my eyes needed to adjust, and it was ALREADY NIGHT-TIME before I walked in the bar! :/

Needless to say, every step I took, the music got LOUDER and the bar got DARKER! :D On top of that, they had invited a whole gymnasium’s worth of people to a little storefront bar with a bunch of tables in it, so we were packed in there like sardines! :/

Now… depending on who you are, each one of these elements is either a good thing or a bad thing. :D It’s up to YOU to figure out how to play the room to your personal strengths… and lacks thereof! hehehe.

Darkness – If you are a good-looking guy, avoid the darkness like the plague! Find as much light as you can, and park yourself under it! :D In the dark, you lose your natural advantage over the next guy, so he’s just as likely to get a rap as you are….. no good. :( You want to make sure the ladies can SEE YOU. Also… you want to make ABSOLUTELY SURE that *YOU* can see *THEM*!!! :O

Busted chicks are experts in remaining in the darkness and seated at tables or surrounded by girlfriends or wearing non-reflective clothing that cloaks their actual physique like a Romulan. By the time your eyes adjust to the darkness, you’ve already drank too many beers to care what she looks like…. and then you’ve fallen into her TRAP!!! :O This is another reason you want to stay in the light. When your boy falls for the okey-doke, he has to bring the girl into the light to tell you he’s breaking out. That’s your chance to see what she really looks like and hopefully talk your boy out of it! :D …… Because YOU KNOW he’s going to call you the next day asking “Yo… HOW did you let me go home with HER? :(” as if it’s YOUR fault that he didn’t stay in the light!

However……..

If you’re NOT a good-looking guy… Darkness Is Your Friend! :D

Find about the darkest section of the establishment, hopefully right near the bar where the chicks need to come to get their refills. Keep your eyes open for favorable signals, such as her stumbling towards the bar or having a very hard time counting how many singles she has in her hand. :) While she’s waiting to get the bartender’s attention… which she’ll have a tough time doing, since you pre-selected the darkest section of the bar… Strike up a friendly conversation. You’ll get extra points for talking to her because she knows full well that you can’t actually *SEE* her, so you *can’t* be after her for her looks.

Now… Hurry up and kick your game before someone yells “LAST CALL!!!” and turns on the lights!!! :O

DatingGenius

Ladies… When you want your man to do something, make sure you LOOK GOOD when you ask him! :D

Guys need INCENTIVE. That incentive comes from either desire or fear. If he desires you, then he’s going to FEAR not ‘getting some’, so you get a double bonus by hooking yourself up and looking proper before suggesting he do things such as take out the garbage or take you out to dinner. :)

If you look busted when you ask him, he’s going to be thinking “So what if I don’t do it? Who cares? I’m not trying to tap that anyway :/” Worst-case-scenario, you stop blabbing and go away, which is a double-win for him, because he doesn’t have to listen to your drivel, AND he doesn’t have to look at you anymore and can get back to enjoying his brew and the game he was watching.

If you don’t live with your boyfriend, then make sure you look proper when you go to his house, or you let him come over. This helps you during the times you ask him to do something over the phone. While you’re talking to him, he’s having Champagne Wishes & Caviar Dreams about hooking up with you later on, so he’s liable to do just about anything you ask him to. If you look good, say 50% of the times you’re around him, then you have about a 50% chance that he’ll perform his task properly… IF he does it at all! :D

That’s right, ladies! Like the record says… “You gotsta use what ya got… to get what ya want!” :D

YA HEARD??? :D

DatingGenius

Reader “Justice” writes:

Ladies I have to be completely honest with you. I’m sure some of you understand and know what I’m about to say. But, I’m going to put it out there anyway.

I know a lot of you still think that you are somewhat old fashion. But come on! In this day and age how many of you are really old fashion? OK, do you know what I’m getting at yet? Alright, here is my point.

Last night I was at a bar with some friends just having a good time and chilling at our table. I was admiring and checking out the woman and yes, believe it or not, there were a decent amount of good looking women in this place. I will be going back there! But back to the discussion. While I was sitting there having a good time with my friends a pretty young lady comes up to our table and just starts up a convo and asks me to dance. I gladly accepted. We danced and had fun and that was it. No dirty dancing or talking shit to each other. She said she loved to dance and I told her if she wanted to dance again she knew where I was sitting. Well about 15 minutes later she came back for another dance. We danced two songs and then she went back to her friends and I went back to mine. We didn’t talk for the rest of the evening. At the end of the night as I made my last pit stop I stopped to say goodbye and that it was nice to meet her. She proceeded to ask if I came here much and would I be coming back. I told her it was my first time there but I think I will come back. She told me, point blank, that she liked to dance and would love to go out dancing with me sometime. I said that would be great and she said, “Here, let me give you my number.” I took her number and we took a picture together, set up a date for next week and said our goodbyes. All in all a very good night.

Now, let me stress the point here that this was not some slutty, ugly, crazy ass girl. She was very pretty, well dressed, well spoken and very sweet. OK, Ladies do you know what I am about to say?

The actions that this girl took last night made my week!!!! She knew what she wanted and took the initiative to make it known. I didn’t ask her for her number, ask her to go out, approach her or anything like that. There were no games! I HATE GAMES!!!!! Ladies, it is ok to be agressive sometimes. Don’t make us guys have to make that move all the time. You know why? Because in those kinds of games you could be losing out on something very good! In my case, I am a shy man. Don’t get me wrong, once the initial contact is made and the convo gets started I’m fine. My weakness is that I am shy about approaching and starting that convo with a lady that catches my eye. Unfortunately, some woman say that I seem kind of unapproachable at times. I don’t understand that because I’m about the friendliest person you will ever meet. But, my shyness does inhibit me a little.

Look, I don’t know where this chance meeting from last night will go. But, I can tell you that I have the utmost respect for this woman for making that move. So, ladies, drop the act that you are too good to make that move. If you like a guy and you want to meet him… don’t stand there and act like you are too good to strike up a conversation. If you do you may miss out on a really good guy. Here is a hint for you. You may like bad boys, but you will almost always regret getting involved with one. Most of the good guys are too shy to just walk up to you and start talking shit. In my case I’m a good guy but I can also be a very bad boy once you break me out of that shell.

So once again I say be aggressive and take a chance ladies! Chances are you won’t regret it!

The ladies have arrived, y’all! :D

Now, this isn’t just a forum for the fellas to learn how to get on from the world renowned DatingGenius!!! :D This is an equal opportunity group! hehehe So here’s some free advice for the ladies of mix.jetset.com…… (clearing throat)

……….

Men are dogs.

That is all. :D

DatingGenius