So I’m watching this MSNBC show, “Hardball”, and this dude, Chris Matthews is talking about Herman Cain and he uses this really great term.. “Rolling Disclosure”! :D hahahaha Oh Man, that perfectly describes what I’ve been wanting to write about.

Rolling Disclosure

Rolling Disclosure is when you only give up as much information as you think the person asking you the questions can actually prove.

Most of the time, this happens to me with women, and the discussion goes essentially exactly like this:

Me: How’d Friday night go?

Her: I didn’t go out.

Me: How’d Friday night go?

Her: I stayed home and had a glass of wine.

Me: How’d Friday night go?

Her: I stayed home and drank a bottle of wine.

Me: How’d Friday night go?

Her: I went out with my girlfriends.. Girls’ Night Out! :D

Me: How’d Friday night go?

Her: I met a guy while I was out with the girls.

Me: How’d Friday night go?

Her: I went home with the guy I met at the bar.

Me: How’d Friday night go?

Her: He tried to kiss me, but I was like “No”. :D

Me: How’d Friday night go?

Her: We made out, but he didn’t **** me.

Me: How’d Friday night go?

Her: I arrived home at 7am, when I had left the bar at 3am.

Me: How’d Friday night go?

Her: I never came so much in my entire life!!! >:D

So you can see how annoying this is.. Waiting for chicks to tell you the actual truth about their evening, instead of trying to bullshit you and avoid getting caught up in the “She’s Easy” sexual double standard.

Meanwhile, your credibility is SHOT. Kaput. Finished.

From now on, when you say “I stayed at home and drank a glass of wine”, I assume you got reamed out by some dude, and that’s a good thing! :D I’m happy for you! More power to ya! haha Get In Where You Fit In!!! >:D

Sammi

This happened to Sammi from “Jersey Shore”.

I’m not going to go over the whole situation, because I already wrote about it in “Girls Don’t Have Friends That Are Guys”, but the main point is that she texted this dude to come meet her at a club, and Nicole confronted her and asked her who she texted.

Sammi insisted that she didn’t text any dudes until Nicole informed her that a) the dude was there in the club, and b) she had already seen the texts from Sammi on his Blackberry.

Sammi immediately changed her story from “I didn’t text any guys” to “I texted him, but he’s just a friend.”

She held the line with her rolling disclosure until she finally had to admit that she had messed with him before, because he was prepared to give the play-by-play of what he did with her, where, and when, to her current boyfriend, Ronnie.

The thing about Rolling Disclosure is that you have to wonder why people are asking you certain questions. You have to wonder why someone would ask you WHO you texted instead of asking you IF you texted anyone. o_O

Once this happens to you, it’s in your best interests to assume they know everything, and give up the ghost ASAP.

You’re totally better off fessin’ up, because you just keep digging the dirt out from under you in the hole you’re already standing in when you keep trying to limit the repercussions to the amount of information that you’re HOPING and PRAYING is all they have on you.

Andrew Weiner

This is how Andrew Weiner went out like a sucker.

If you don’t know who I’m talking about, go read “Weiner Fesses Up”.

Basically.. Dude was sexting or text-flirting or whatever with chicks via social media and tried to send a picture of tha dilznick to some chick on Twitter and accidentally sent it publicly instead of privately.

When he got busted, because you can’t actually delete Twitter posts because people are following you by RSS and receiving your media in their EMAIL instead of using a Twitter client, he went on television and told talk show hosts something to the effect of “We’re not sure that that’s me in the pictures.” :/

First of all.. Who is “We”? :D

Second, you know whether you own underwear that looks like that or you don’t.

Third, you know whether you took pictures of your underwear or you didn’t.

Fourth, you know whether you tried to send said picture to some chick and ****** up.

So, by the time people are not only TELLING YOU they have your picture in their possession, but it’s actually being shown on the television news in cities across the United States of America, it’s time to abandon Rolling Disclosure and admit what actually happened.

Instead.. Weiner decided that there must be some way out of this, and elected to lie on television, which made him look worse than his original offense, which wasn’t an offense at all, because the pic of that dilznick that he accidentally sent to the Twitter-viewing public, he had been trying to send to a grown-ass woman, in full compliance with the law.

Yes, Weiner happened also to be married, but it’s STILL not against the law to send pictures of tha dilznick to some other chick(s), and I’m rather sure it wasn’t in his marriage vows to begin with.. even though, after him and Tiger Woods and a couple of other dudes have been caught out there gettin’ their internet GROOVE on, I’m sure women are going to start demanding some kind of online fidelity vows in the near future! >:D

Herman Cain

This brings us to this week’s news.. Herman Cain.

If you’re reading this in the future.. Back in 2011 AD, Herman Cain was this dude that rich people gave a bunch of money so he could hang around the Republican Presidential Candidate race and sell books.

A couple of days ago, it was revealed that ~12 years ago, a couple of chicks (meaning more than one chick, not that the chicks were a couple, hehe) had some kind of issue with him which has been labeled as “Sexual Harassment”. I talked about the situation here.

I am personally the KING of “sexual harassment”, so let me give y’all dudes a few tips.

First of all, if a chick doesn’t like you, don’t flirt with her.

I mean, you *CAN*, and you can see what you can do, but it’s an uphill battle that usually yields no rewards whatsoever, or at least you have to put in so much work, time and energy to get the slightest bit of ANYTHING out of the chick that you would have been better off utilizing the time working on your startup or hiring a hooker.

Second, if you’re in a work situation, play it the **** OFF as if you’re not sexually attracted to her.

There’s getting chicks, and there’s getting money. If you’re a gigolo, you do both at the same time. If you’re not, save the chick stuff for after work, and limit it to women that you don’t have to see every day if you don’t end up getting on…… or women you don’t have to see every day if you *DO* get on, and end up being a 2-Minute Brotha, and then you have to endure her looking at you sideways every day like “PSSSSS… He Ain’t ****! :/”

Third, if your job description in the company is more important than hers, make sure you AVOID kickin’ it to her at all costs.

Even if you’re not directly above her in the company hierarchy, it will be alleged that you have influence over her boss, who has influence over her, so you indirectly have some kind of say over her job security and coerced her into messing with you.

Fourth, try your damnedest not to kick it with drunk chicks, even though they’re the ones that make themselves the most available to you.

The problem is that you don’t know how an individual’s brain processes alcohol and how it processes events that occur DURING the time that they’re inebriated.

You can be kickin’ it with, flirting with, and making out with a chick one minute, and then, like three minutes later, you go to hug her and she’s like “WHAT THE **** ARE YOU DOING??? :O”

It’s a real mess, looking into a chick’s eyes and realizing she has zero recollection of the past 10 minutes that you had been messing with her.

It’s pretty pathetic, actually. I can laugh about it because it hasn’t actually affected my life, other than my getting slapped a few times. Lots of guys have taken INCREDIBLE SHORTS because chicks forgot what actually happened and misreported the facts.

Similarly, dudes have committed unspeakable crimes against women while the guys were under the influence of alcohol, so I’m not making this a one-sided issue. I’m just sayin’.

Anyway… Herman Cain got accused of some kind of sexual impropriety like 12 years ago, when his job description was more important than these two chicks. 10 days before they broke the story, the reporter informed people involved with Cain’s “candidacy” that they were going to drop this. Nobody on his team did anything about it.

When they dropped it, Cain seemed surprised. His natural reaction was Rolling Disclosure.

Keep On Rollin’

First, he didn’t know what they were talking about. Then, he wasn’t aware of any settlements. Then, he was asking for names of chicks that accused him… I mean, it went on and on.

Look. I know what I’m talking about… If a chick claims that you sexually harassed her, there are only two reasons that you’re going to not be aware of who she is and what the situation was.

The first reason is that you’ve never harassed anyone in your life, so anytime that this has come up, you didn’t give it any thought, handed it off to the lawyers, and forgot about it ASAP.

The second reason is that you harass people all the time, so there’s no way that you can pinpoint exactly who they’re talking about.

The latter is what I thought of when I heard Cain asking for the names of the chicks.

If someone asks me if I’ve been arrested for murder, the answer will be “Hells the fuck NO, and anyone that says so is a BULLSHIT-ASS LIAR! >:D”

If someone asks me about a chick’s ass I’ve grabbed, they’re going to have to provide me with what state they’re talking about, what college or party they’re talking about, the approximate year, and a description of the chick’s body, preferably including her hairstyle and the colors she was wearing, but not her name, because there is no way I could possibly pinpoint any one of probably thousands of asses I’ve grabbed in my dating career. >:D

This is why, when Cain was like “Who are you talking about?” I was like “C’MON, SUNN!! :/ You’re playing this the wrong way! :D”

If someone comes to you and says that *TWO* chicks made a big deal that you were harassing them and your company had to legally deal with the situation, you damned well know who they’re talking about, unless you harass chicks EVERY YEAR and you don’t want to cop out to the wrong offense.

The fact that they’re specifically asking you about TWO chicks means that they already have documentation about TWO CHICKS and they’re just seeing if you’re going to fess up or not.

They’re not actually asking you whether you did it. They already know you did it.

Everybody knew that Sammi texted the dude and told him to meet her at the club, because they saw the evidence.

Everybody knew that Weiner sent that pic of that dilznick to Twitter because he sent it to the public, and then lamely tried to imply that his account may have been hacked. :/

Everybody knows that there are two chicks that received a settlement from the company that Herman Cain was an executive in, because they’ve already seen the documents.

In fact.. While Cain was trying to slip and slide his way down the hill of admission, hoping to grab a hold of the mountain before he fell off the cliff, he finally said that he was aware that they gave one of the chicks a severance package that amounted to something like 3 months of her salary………… um.. Not quite, dude.

www.nytimes.com/2011/11/02/us/politics/herman-cain-accuser-got-a-years-salary-in-severance-pay.html

WASHINGTON — The National Restaurant Association gave $35,000 — a year’s salary — in severance pay to a female staff member in the late 1990s after an encounter with Herman Cain, its chief executive at the time, made her uncomfortable working there, three people with direct knowledge of the payment said on Tuesday.

The woman was one of two whose accusations of sexual harassment by Mr. Cain, now a Republican candidate for president, led to paid severance agreements during his 1996-99 tenure at the association. Disclosure of the scale of the severance further challenged his initial description of the matter as a “witch hunt,” as did new descriptions from the woman’s friends and colleagues of her level of discomfort at work.

Adding to the pressure on Mr. Cain, a lawyer for the second woman called on the restaurant association to release her from a confidentiality agreement signed as part of her settlement, raising the prospect that she could publicly dispute Mr. Cain’s account of what happened. The lawyer said the confidentiality agreement had left her unable to respond to Mr. Cain’s denials of any inappropriate behavior toward the women.

A full year’s salary, huh?

This brings us to the next point, which I had already made in my previous article about this situation..

In order to get pIZaid, the chicks had to sign NDAs (Non-Disclosure Agreements) which prohibit them from talking about their allegations.

This would *APPEAR* to be carte blanche for Cain to deny the situation, but it isn’t. It really obviously and clearly isn’t, and Cain has now trapped himself by trying to explain away the report by saying that the gesture he made was holding his hand under his chin and the statement he made was that a chick was the same height as his wife.

He’s trapped, because NOW, the chick can publicly say that she’d LIKE TO tell THE REAL STORY, but she’s prohibited by law.

First of all, this indicates that Cain’s story isn’t the truth, according to her.

Second, it’s prompted television interviewers to ask Cain if he would be willing to wave the woman’s liability in the case so she could tell the truth of the situation and put this behind him so he could continue his “candidacy” for the Presidency of the United States of America.

Of course, Cain can’t do that, because when she says something different from what he says, it’s all over… So he did the smart thing and said that it’s not up to him, it’s up to the lawyers for the company that made the settlement… er.. AGREEMENT, as far as he understands the situation. ;)

This won’t really help him, though, because if he’s telling the truth, he’s actually going to publicly call for the lawyers to allow her to speak.

You’re Not Slick

This is one of the ultimate flaws of the Republican attempts at fielding a viable Presidential candidate this cycle. Nobody told them that shutting up isn’t a shield. You look just as guilty by NOT ANSWERING THE QUESTION as you would have looked if you would have answered the question truthfully.

When someone asks Bachmann if she would deport 11.5 million illegal aliens, and she doesn’t answer the question, it’s clear that she would try to do that.

When someone asks Bachmann how she intends to create $2/gallon gasoline in a free-market economy, and she doesn’t answer the question, you know she’s just talking ****.

When someone asks Santorum whether he’d try to reinstate DADT and he flounders all over the place, you know damned well that he’d try to do it.

All I can say for them is that if you ask Ron Paul if he’d dismantle federal agencies, he very gladly and proudly screams “HELLS YEAH, I WOULD!!! >:D”, which is why the Republicans won’t give him any light. He’s putting all the cards on the table, which is valiant, but will never fly in a general Presidential election.

When you ask Romney just about ANYTHING, you can find videotape of him making diametrically opposed statements on this and that, from sneakers to hats. Everybody knows he’ll say anything he has to in order to try to get elected.

So they’re pretty much ALL living by Rolling Disclosure. They’re not going to say that they’ll deport anyone they can find unless they’re ultimately forced to. They’re not going to admit to anything at all, until they have no choice.

So Cain thinks that by playing it off as the domain of the lawyers to deal with, he’s covering himself in this situation. He isn’t. If his story was the same as the chick’s story, he should be publicly CLAMORING for them to allow her to speak, so she can corroborate his story and we can move forward with his so-called “candidacy”.

The problem for Sammi, Weiner and Cain is that Rolling Disclosure makes you look like an idiot and a liar.

The question becomes “Why are you covering up these minor-ass things? o_O”

If that’s not your underwear in the picture, all you have to do is say “That’s not a picture of me. I don’t know who it’s a picture of.”

If you didn’t text someone to come meet you at the club, all you have to say is “I didn’t text that person. There’s no way they have texts from me on their phone. Let’s go confront them right now, and I’ll tell that to their faces.”

If you didn’t sexually harass anyone, all you have to say is “I didn’t sexually harass anyone.”

However… Whether you did it or you didn’t.. If your company shelled out $35,000 USD to some chick who only makes $35,000 USD to give up 52 weeks of the one life she’s ever going to have to live, in order to get her to not talk to the press about what she’s claiming you did to her, you need to fess up about that post-haste.

And by “fess up”, I mean you need to say “This chick accused me of something I didn’t do, and my company’s lawyers decided to pay her off to leave the company and never speak about the situation again.”

Very simple. Just the facts. One basic disclosure, instead of a series of different stories over the course of 48 hours, when your team had 10 days to figure out a strategy to deal with it and you already had 12 years to think about what you’d say if this ever came up in conversation.
–
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Related Posts

• Why Consensual Affairs Are More Damaging Than Sexual Harassment
• Sexual Harassment & Inappropriate, Sexually-Suggestive Behavior
• “Jersey Shore” Italy: Walk Like A Duck
• Why Nobody Tells You The Truth
• Confidence & Success

“Jersey Shore” was complete garbage this week.

As I predicted, when I found out that MTV was sending a bunch of non-Itaian-speaking people to Italy for no reason other than their chosen social subculture has been stereotypically attributed to Italian-AMERICANS (having nothing at all to do with Italians in Italy), they can’t socialize with anyone but themselves, so the shows are entirely about the boring, redundant interactions between the housemates.

Storyline

The entire episode was about the girls hanging out together.. “The Girls” being Jenni, Sammi, Deena, Nicole, and Ronnie.

The guys (Vinny, Pauly, and Mike) were complete non-factors this week. Mike got one kiss from one chick in a club, and seemed to be getting her number, but MTV elected not to tell us anything that happened with that storyline, which is probably nothing, because dude doesn’t have any skillz.

THE. ENTIRE. REST. OF. THE. SHOW. was about Deena The Ominsexual getting drunk (as usual), falling down (as usual), and making out incessantly with Nicole, who’s another omnisexual horn-dog who’s been throwing sex at anybody and anything ever since the first episode of the first season when she climbed in the hot tub with all four of her male housemates that she had just met and kissed all of them.

I couldn’t find that particular clip on YouTube, but this one will do:

YouTube Link => http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kzmrYnYbqM0

This is a clip from Season 01, where Mike & Nicole are messing around in the hot tub. She mentions towards the end of the clip “I did the same thing that I did the first night! :D”, which alludes to the situation I mentioned above.

Double Standards

The value of this week’s Jersey Shore was that the entire country got to see behavior that I see all the time in the trenches. There’s a lot of drinking, a lot of lying, and a lot of revisionist history that takes place on a weekly basis, if not a daily basis, depending on how often you interact with people on the dating scene.

Historical Revisionism is either the legitimate scholastic re-examination of existing knowledge about a historical event, or the illegitimate distortion of the historical record such that certain events appear in a more or less favourable light.

Revisionist History generally works in opposite directions with males and females, because of the double-standard.

If you’re not familiar with the American (and potentially worldwide) double-standard, it’s basically that women that have sex can be branded whores, sluts or hoes for doing the exact same sexual acts that make guys “THE MAN” and get us accolades and free beers from our fans and peers.

So.. If a guy and gal hook up, what’s likely to happen if they both have to give a report the next day, the guy’s going to say that MORE SEX occurred than actually did, and the gal is going to say that LESS SEX occurred than actually did.

This is typical, so you adjust accordingly… Whatever a guy says he did to a chick, you tone it down a notch or two, and whatever a gal says she did with a guy, you amp it up a notch or two.

Basically, if she says nothing happened, that means she kissed him. If she says she kissed him, that means he felt her up. If she says he felt her up, she actually blew him… you get the picture.

This is what we got a beautiful portrait of, thanks to Nicole & Deena getting drunk together and hooking up for approximately 26% of the entire show.

I mean… the portrait itself was RAUNCHY, but I’m saying that it was a beautiful illustration of a raunchy situation. :D

Omnisexuals

If you’ve been reading along, you know that The Kid doesn’t pay attention to labels, because they don’t mean anything.

For instance.. If a chick says she has a boyfriend, that doesn’t mean she’s not going to hook up with you tonight. It’s completely meaningless what she says or how she attempts to classify herself, because she’s a grown-ass woman with free will, who’s going to do whatever she feels like doing whenever she feels like doing it, so if she feels like giving you some today and going home to her boyfriend tonight, that’s what’s going to happen.

Unfortunately.. Most drones.. I mean, people, think that there are several concrete classifications, and EVEN WORSE, think that they can TELL YOU what group they belong to and that that means something to you or even to themselves.

We saw this a couple of episodes ago, when Deena was blatantly cockblocking Mike and Vinny by grabbing the “Virgin Twin”, making out with her at the club and bringing her home to hop in bed with her.

Deena keeps protesting: “I’m not a lesbian!”

ok… Fine… You’re “not a lesbian” who likes to dance with girls, make out with girls, and hook up with girls under the covers in your bed while Vinny’s right there to hear the whole thing and report to Ronnie in the morning that you were moaning all night before you ejected Virgin Twin to polish Vinny off before he went to sleep that night.

So.. How does that help you to declare yourself “not a lesbian”? o_O

It doesn’t.

You walk like a duck, talk like a duck, make out and **** like a duck, but you think that by telling people “I’m not a duck”, it means something.

It doesn’t mean anything at all.

This is the problem with labels. Nobody cares which team you claim you’re playing for. What matters is what you’re likely to do in a given situation.. Especially in an often-repeated situation like your being fall-down drunk and feeling like having sex with somebody… with ANYBODY that you find attractive at that point in time.

Deena is correct that she’s not a lesbian. She’s an omnisexual.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pansexuality

Pansexuality (also referred to as omnisexuality or polysexuality)[1] refers to the potential for sexual attractions, sexual desire, romantic love, or emotional attraction, towards people of all gender identities and biological sexes.[2][3] Self-identified pansexuals may refer to themselves as gender-blind—that gender and sex are insignificant or irrelevant in determining whether they will be sexually attracted to others.[4] The Oxford English Dictionary writes that pansexuality “encompasses all kinds of sexuality; not limited or inhibited in sexual choice with regards to gender or activity.”[5]

The concept of pansexuality deliberately rejects the gender binary, the idea that there are only two genders,[6] as pansexual people are open to relationships with people who do not identify as strictly men or women. Pansexuality can also mean the attraction to a person’s personality, rather than their physical appearance or gender.[7]

There’s nothing wrong with this. It’s what makes Deena the wildcard and the interesting character in the house. You never know if she’s going to hook up with a dude or a chick, but you know that as soon as she gets drunk enough to start falling down for no reason, she’s going to try to tongue SOMEONE down, which is probably why Pauly was looking so skeeved out when she wanted to kiss him at the end of the first Italy episode:

YouTube Link => http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4MYJ3pYFXw

So, ladies… If you start making out with chicks every time you get drunk, don’t bother trying to explain that away as not being a core aspect of your personality. Nobody cares what you call yourself or how you try to classify yourself. The only thing people are paying attention to is what you’re liable to do when you’re feeling horny and there’s a chick or dude around that you feel like hooking up with.

Labels are over. Do what you do. Get in where you fit in. Enjoy your life, as-is.

Just don’t bother protesting when your friends and roommates tell you what you did last night right in front of their faces as if you didn’t actually do that, AND it’s not an event that’s been historically repeated by you under the exact same conditions every time.

I used to know people that would call themselves “non-smokers”. Then.. When it’s 1am at a party, I look and see them smoking a cigarette.

When I approached them and asked them what the **** they were doing, their reply, across the board, was “oh.. I only smoke when I’m drunk.”

That makes you a SMOKER when you’re drunk, and since you get drunk EVERY WEEKEND, that makes you *NOT* a non-smoker.

Labels are useless.

It’s Regular

It’s now the year 2011 AD. Nobody expects chicks not to make out with chicks. That’s what they do. \o/

This was the dialogue from the cab ride from the club back to the hotel:

• Sammi: They’ve been making out for, like, three hours. (referring to Nicole and Deena)
• Jenni: This is not no ordinary girl makeout session. This is like they’re going to **** each other when they get back to the hotel, and I have to share a room with them.
• Sammi: I don’t even make out this long with Ron.

See what I mean? o_O “ordinary girl makeout session”. It’s regular. Nobody cares. I don’t understand what Deena’s protesting about. \o/ According to the videotaped evidence, when Deena’s drunk, she’s likely to dance with chicks, make out with chicks and hop in bed with chicks. It’s not like people are making up stuff she doesn’t actually do, right in front of their faces.

Now, haha As funny as it is when the guys talk about “Lesbie Friends” and “Lesbie Honest, Here” and “Lez Go!” and “At least the carpets are clean” and “You didn’t eat enough last night?”, none of that would be happening if Deena just admitted she’s an omnisexual and rocked with the reality of her life and attractions.

The reason the jokes are so funny is that she keeps protesting and lying and bullshitting instead of just owning up to the facts and being herself.

However.. There’s another very important issue that came to light this episode…

I don’t remember.. But I definitely didn’t do THAT!!! :O

Another ultra-pathetic aspect of The Game that was highlighted this episode is how people try to play both sides of the memory situation.

Pro Tip: If you don’t remember what you *DID*, you can’t possibly remember what you *DIDN’T DO*.

Long Story Short.. Deena & Nicole get drunk in the afternoon, dance, feel each other up and make out for the rest of the entire day and night, make out all the way home in the cab and then hop under the covers together and wake up the next afternoon talking about “Do you remember what happened last night? o_O”

Fortunately, the cameras were rolling the entire time, so it doesn’t matter what you remember.

The important line is when Deena says to Nicole “I don’t remember anything after we left that restaurant”, then, when Nicole says “I remember making out with you”, Deena’s reply is “We didn’t do anything else.”…..

um…. WHAT? :D

When you left the restaurant, you went to the club. When you left the club, you got in the cab and came home. You eventually went to sleep. You eventually woke back up. You’re now having a conversation.

*IF* you don’t remember anything after you left the restaurant, you can not say *WHAT* you did at the club, in the cab, or when you came home and hopped in bed with a chick.

You can’t say anything at all, other than “I don’t remember anything after we left that restaurant”, so you most certainly are not credible when you say things like “We didn’t do anything else”.

A lot of people aren’t smart enough to realize that they’re claiming amnesia and lucid recall at the same time.

A lot of people don’t understand that they make totally different decisions when they’re drunk, like I mentioned above about smokers.

When you’re not drunk, you can’t speak for your drunk-self and say “I would not have done XYZ” or “I didn’t do XYZ” when you incapacitated yourself to the point that you can’t walk straight, you often fall down and you experience memory blackouts in the morning.

I know this because I’ve been there.

I’ve had enough to drink on some evenings where I’ve had to ask close and trusted friends what I did the night before. When they told me, I had to take their word for it, because I had ZERO. RECALL. OF. THAT. EVENING… Even their telling me didn’t jar actual memories. If the information is gone, the information is gone.

What’s worse is when people get indignant about what you’re telling them they did.

Due to your incapacitating yourself with alcohol or whatever substance, essentially, I was there, and you were not. I know what happened, and you do not.

Therefore, in the absence of videotaped evidence, if Jenni says that Deena and Nicole made out all the way home in the cab, there’s no point in either one of them getting mad or trying to dispute the facts, because THEY. HAVE. NO. MEMORY. and therefore NO. SAY. about how that period of time is written into the history books.

Caviat Emptor

This situation is insanely dangerous for guys.

Thanks to the pressures of the double standard, chicks are liable to lie and say they didn’t do what you know they did.

This could happen because they have no memory but don’t want to believe they did what they did. It could also happen because they *DO* remember what they did and now they feel like hoes and want to relieve themselves of their personal responsibility by blaming something on you that you didn’t do to them.

For this reason, it’s *REALLY* in your best interest to NOT hook up with drunk chicks. :)

I know this doesn’t make any sense, because it’s easier to screw drunk women than sober ones. I get that. I understand… What I’m telling you is that there are a lot of guys that had to deal with a lot of legal problems as well as illegal problems (she tells guys she knows that you took advantage of her, when you didn’t) because they wanted to get laid one night, so think about it before you hook up with the easy lay.. Sometimes, it’s simply and entirely not worth it.

The other aspect of “Buyer Beware” is what happened after the fact, when Nicole had to call her so-called “boyfriend” and tell him about the evening’s events.

Remember what I said, about chicks downplaying what actually happened? o_O .. She went ahead and told her “boyfriend” that she got drunk and made out with Deena and “That’s pretty much all that happened”.

Sorry. That was a bullshit lie.

This is, again, where Jersey Shore is an anomaly. That lie would have stood if there wasn’t videotaped evidence to the contrary. Anybody that’s not on a “reality” show wouldn’t have gotten caught in that lie.

This is why it isn’t worth asking someone you’re dating what they did last night. You may or may not get the truth. There’s no reason to base the rest of your relationship on what they TOLD YOU happened, when, similar to the person that drank too much to remember, *YOU* have no idea at all what happened last night.

Of course.. This also flies in the face of Nicole’s lie about not hooking up with Mike… Remember the same guy she was making out with in that hot tub video I linked from Season 01? o_O .. When he recently snitched on her for blowing him while they were on break before this Italy season, she got mad at him for ratting her out, but didn’t have anything to say when he offered to tell the details of exactly where and what happened.

So, basically, you get what you get and you have what you have. There’s no point in trying to police your significant other‘s behavior when you’re not physically in their presence. They’re going to do whatever they want and tell you whatever they want after the fact.. assuming they even REMEMBER what happened, to begin with.

I’m expecting a bunch more “nothing” from the rest of this season, because MTV’s run out of storylines other than whether Mike’s going to hook up with Nicole again, which nobody cares about.

According to the edit, Vinny’s been completely ineffective at pulling chicks in Italy, except for the “Virgin Twin” that Deena stole from Mike and handed off to Vinny when she was finished.

Ronnie’s one of the girls, spending all his time with Sammi, Nicole, Jenni, and Deena = no action.

Pauly hasn’t done jack-**** since he landed in Italy.

Mike met some American chick that he was steadily screwing until he smashed his own head into a wall and injured his neck = zero Italian action, with the single credit I can give him being that he pulled the two chicks to come back to the house, but when Pauly let the grenade loose, Mike’s girl bounced too, so that particular fumble wasn’t his fault.

Jenni and Sammi have boyfriends = no action.

Deena hooks up with anything that isn’t too drunk to run away from her.

Nicole has a “boyfriend”, gets drunk and hooks up with chicks all night while denying that she blew Mike, whom there’s videotaped evidence of her messing with in the hot tub.

We’ve already seen all this stuff played out over and over and over and over and YAWWWWWWNNN

Even though my previous prediction didn’t work out, which is why we’re suffering through a useless Italy season, my *NEW* prediction is that they do one more Jersey Shore season at the actual Jersey Shore and then retire this concept.

There’s no depth of field in this subculture where they can switch out cast members like The Real World. They’re stuck with these 8 (9, if you count Angelina) people, and all their interactions were redundant about a year ago.

However.. As we know.. Television isn’t about entertainment, but ROI (Return On Investment), and as long as MTV’s getting more money from Jersey Shore fans than they’re spending on producing the show, we may very well see “Jersey Shore: Kentucky” coming soon to a television near you. :/
–
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So, I read this update by this chick, right?.. Saying that some dude did her wrong, right? :D

Of course, being a logical human being, I think that means she learned her lesson, so I put in my real, honest two cents about the situation and wake up to find out that she’s unfriended me or blocked me or whatever.

Not only that, but the comment I had left in her thread was deleted.

This is why nobody tells you the truth.

You can’t handle the truth.

You don’t want to hear the truth.

You get mad at people that tell you the truth, instead of rewarding them for honesty and their attempts to keep your life centered in reality rather than fantasy.

This is why people lie to you, get what they want, and bounce.

Extracting people who are willing to be REAL with you only leaves FAKE people in your life.

Does that make sense? >:D

You’re not hurting the person you blocked. You’re hurting yourself. You’re leaving yourself surrounded by a crowd of enablers, affirmation-chirpers, and bullshit artists that are willing to tell you anything you want to hear in order to remain in your good graces.

Keep listening to them without balanced input from opposing viewpoints and you’re going to need the coddling, affirmations and commiseration again in the very near future, because you’re not feeding your mind with what you need to improve yourself as a human being and prevent history from repeating itself.

If you say “Damn.. I can’t hit a 93 mph fastball”, and I say “That’s right. You can’t”, don’t get mad at The Kid! :D

The fact that I spoke to you AT ALL means I’m trying to help you. If I didn’t care, I’d let you stay stupid and keep falling in the same traps.
–
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Most of my close female friends, the ones I kick the REAL DEAL with, are aware that when it comes to hooking up, I don’t believe ANYTHING that a female says.

Nothing.

I’ve been lied to by enough women and I’ve listened to enough women lie about what they’ve done with me to recognize that whatever a chick tells you is probably the LEAST of what she did with a dude, and nowhere near the MOST.

This is because there’s no incentive for a woman to tell you the truth about her hookups, even if you’re supposed to be a “friend” of hers.

To be fair, there’s no incentive for guys to tell the truth either… Due to no fault of my own, The Kid ended up in a speed-dating situation the other night, and this chick asked me what I would do if I had to cook dinner for her. My response was that I would order food and put it in the oven until she got there and then act like I made it.

Her response was (besides a grimace on her face) “But then, you’d have to tell me that you did that”, to which I replied “o_O No…. Actually, I wouldn’t have to.”

So just like I’m going to take credit for what Colonel Sanders invented, I don’t expect the truth from women about the extent to which they messed with some dude…. Even if THEY’RE the ones that brought up the topic and started the conversation about their own exploits.

Clean From The Jacuzzi

This brings us to the end of last week’s Jersey Shore episode. Deena had met this dude named Dean, who looks just like Ronnie, and brought him home to get in the hot tub and then get in bed with her and “cuddle”.

“Cuddling” is a term used by females to explain why they were seen in a bed with a guy, under the covers, without their clothes on. :/ They were “just cuddling”, like they’re “just friends” with the guy. Yeah.. Right…

The first night that Dean came home with Deena, on his way out the door, Sammi saw him and informed Deena that she had seen Dean’s girlfriend 5 times. Deena seems surprised that he has a girlfriend, since she asked him and he said he didn’t (as opposed to not getting laid, A DUH!) and then implies that he did something sexual to her, but she didn’t do anything sexual to him, adding “That’s how you ROLL, girl”, indicating that she played him, somehow.

The only problem with her pimp-o-matic statement is that previously, she swore up and down that she didn’t do anything with him at all. Now, in order to save face that she just spent the night with a guy that has a girlfriend, she wants to say that action took place, but it was one-sided, with her as the recipient and Dean getting nothing from her in return.

Yeah.. Right…

Fast-Forward a few days, and somehow, Deena and Dean have hooked up several times, and are walking around holding hands, in fact. Vinny refers to Dean as “Deena’s Man” in his confessional. It’s clear that they’ve passed “cuddling” stage.

Next.. Ronnie, Vinny & Pauly go to the barber shop. While Ronnie’s getting his fresh Gumby Flat-Top Fade hooked up, the barber mentions that Dean said that Deena told him she wanted to BLANK his BLANK (nope.. It’s not even what you’re thinking! HAHA).

Off the bat, the fellaz are rolling laughing, because due to her previous statements and behavior, like keeping throwing sex at Mike that he suspiciously keeps refusing to take, getting so drunk that she falls off of stages and gets kicked out of a club, and bringing Dean home for hot tub time and purported “cuddling”, she’s not about to receive the benefit of the doubt that she didn’t say what the barber said that Dean said she said.

Of course.. Mike, the Gossip-O-Matic feels the need to spill the beans to Deena that she’s being talked about. Deena denies the allegations, which carries no weight whatsoever, because her credibility, as far as hooking up, is already destroyed.

Deena see’s Dean at the club and, no pun intended, reams him out… ok.. Pun Intended. >:D

His defense was “I never said that”, which is normally a pretty good defense when people don’t have specifics. It’s one thing to deny generally saying that you hooked up with a chick. It’s another thing to deny saying to your barber and anyone else within earshot at the time and anyone else the barber felt like telling, “Deena said she wanted to BLANK my BLANK, because it had been cleaned out in the jacuzzi”.

Let’s Just Cuddle

This week, Deena runs into Ronnie’s friend, Dario and is immediately sweating him like she had been sweating Dean. There’s nothing wrong with this.. Just stating a fact. :D

Dario most definitely received the recon intel that Deena’s DTF. No matter how she acts, dude has GOT to know that she gives it up Quick Fast In A Hurry, Flavor’s Vision Ain’t Blurry. All he has to do is have the look that she likes and wait for her to jump his bones.

They make out in the club, she dances with him, yadda yadda. Next, they’re back at the house, with Deena sitting on his lap, babbling about some nonsense about the gym. This is the part where dudes pretend to care what chicks are talking about, so they can feel like they got to know us before they gave it up. *yawn*

Dude says “C’mon.. Let’s go inside”, to which Deena replies “We should cuddle. That’s all”. By now, we all recognize this statement as a typical prefabricated excuse to get in a bed and under the covers with a guy and do whatever ACTUALLY comes naturally and then downplay what happened after the fact to whatever level she’s comfortable with admitting.

This is immediately followed by a suspiciously contrived confessional shot of Deena saying “I definitely don’t have sex on the first night. It’s not Halloween. I’m not handing out candy for free. Like, you need a golden ticket to get into these drawers. Dario is not getting the golden ticket tonight.”, followed by her saying “I haven’t done sex in like… three months.”, followed by “WhateverWhatever, my golden ticket was taken, it is what it is, and you know what? Dario is a good guy.”

The confessional is contrived because it makes Deena look like she intended not to give it up, when, in fact, she orchestrated the entire thing from all the way back when they were in the club together and she asks him “Do you want to kiss me?”. She knew what her plan was and she executed it properly. Her goal was to hook up with him and relieve her (not that I believe this either) 3-month dry spell, and that’s what she did.

My point isn’t that Deena’s an anomaly, but rather that she’s typical. Guys have to deal with nonsensical statements from women every day. It’s all in the game. At first, it’s something that throws you off. :D You start wondering what you did to change her mind. Eventually, you realize she’s only saying things to convince other people, and most likely, to convince herself that she’s not planning to do exactly what she’s planning to do.

Pay attention, however.. I’m not saying to ignore what a chick’s saying, because there’s a percentage chance that she’s telling you the truth. There are lots of gals that say what they mean and mean what they say. I’m not saying that “Let’s Cuddle” is code for “Let’s Hook Up”. I’m saying that her saying she’s not going to do anything with you doesn’t have any bearing whatsoever on what she actually DOES right after that, or 20 minutes later, or the next morning or a week from now.

Guys do a similar thing in order to save face. They’ll swear up and down that a chick’s busted, ugly, fat, a grenade, whatever, but as soon as they don’t think their boys are going to find out about it, they’re down to hook up with that same chick, ASAP.

In Other Jersey Shore News…

1. Mike bags a drunk chick and brings her home
2. Nicole sleeps in the pen with the dogs.
3. Nicole breaks a $150 tricycle that she shouldn’t have been riding in the first place and flees the store instead of paying for it.
4. Pauly fends off tag-team flirtation from Nicole & Deena.
5. Nicole hooks up with this guy, Jeff, and then refuses to see him again after he says he was engaged to a chick.
6. The guys shop, cook, clean and are generally useful, as usual, while the girls go shopping for lingerie.
7. MTV showed a Keyboard Cat commercial.
8. Nicole runs her mouth instead of working at the t-shirt shop, which makes sense, because she gets paid more to appear in the episodes than she makes trying to sell t-shirts.
9. MVPD hit the club.
10. Pauly makes friends with his stalker, Danielle, and invites her to the house to chill and get made fun of.

Did I Stutter?

Seemingly experiencing a brain-oriented malfunction, Sammi either fails to understand what Ronnie’s saying to her or refuses to believe it:

Sammi: Come back over here. It’s cold
Ronnie: …………….
Sammi: You wanna come back here?
Ronnie: Is that why you came up here? So you can still argue with me? I’m sleeping
Sammi: I straight up don’t want to do this with you anymore
Ronnie: Stop threatening me! Serously!
Sammi: Why do you always take it so negative? Do you want to come to bed with me?
Ronnie: Obviously not, if I haven’t gotten up and gone over there.
Sammi: Ron?
Ronnie: Just leave me alone.

This goes on and on until Sammi initiates another loop of asking Ronnie several times if he wants to break up with her, Ronnie replying in the affirmative several times, and Sammi continuing to ask him if he wants to break up with her.

BWONNNGGGGGG… Einstein Say “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result”. Let this be a lesson to guys and gals alike. Do Not ask questions that you don’t really want the answers to, such as:

Do you want to break up with me?
Were you screwing some chick when you told me you were playing poker?
Does this outfit make me look fat?
Do you think I’m a psycho?
Did he **** you better than I did?
Do you like my mother’s personality?
Would you still date me if I went broke?
Would you have sex with my sister?
Would you have sex with me and my sister?
Would you have sex with me, my sister and my mother?

Make ONE HUNNID PERCENT SURE that you want to know the answer to these questions before you open your mouth to ask them. If you’re only asking because you’re sure you know the answer, you might be in for a rude awakening.

Having watched the coming attractions to next week’s show, I know that after Ronnie leaves the room to get away from Sammi and retreats to the farthest corner of the house he possibly can, she follows him like a shadow, like usual, and keeps asking redundant questions until she finally gets the picture that she no longer has any control over Ronnie. Her reaction to this is to say she wants to “get him back” and then she gets up on a stage in the club and announces something about a hot guy and then is seen dancing with some dude she doesn’t know from Adam, while Ronnie watches them.

First of all, everybody knows that when Sammi’s not with Ronnie, all she wants to do is curl up in a ball and stay in bed. She doesn’t want other guys. She most certainly doesn’t want other RANDOM guys. She’s not going to DO anything with these guys. She’s been riding Ronnie’s dilznick for the last full year, all the way through him hooking up left and right in Miami AND her watching the videotape of him hooking up left and right in Miami AND all her family and friends watching the footage as well… She’s not fooling anybody by getting on a stage and dancing with a guy she doesn’t know, doesn’t care about, doesn’t love, and isn’t jocking.

Second.. What is it that makes people who get dumped think that they can make their ex jealous by flaunting the fact that someone else just picked up the garbage they tossed away? Does that make any sense? If you throw a gum wrapper on the floor, do you get upset when someone else picks it up? :D

This is just more of that blackmail behavior that indicates mental instability. If you’re friends with Jenni, I’m going to punch you in your face. If you break up with me, I’m going to give up my ass to the first stranger I meet while you watch. If I ask you if you want to break up with me and you reply “Yes, We’re Done!”, I’m going to keep asking you until you change your answer to something I like……

Sometimes, no matter how much you feel like tappin’ that, the sex just isn’t worth the hassle of negotiating with blackmailers. Let’s see if Ronnie learns his lesson THIS time. :/
–
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Pretty much every single week, I have to hear about people that fell for the okey-doke because someone SAID one thing and then DID another thing.

Please get a clue.. Stop listening to what people say. Talk is cheap. Actions speak louder than words. Try to focus on reality instead of some fantasy someone pumped into your brain.

Boob Jobs

So I’m watching this week’s ‘Jerseylicious’ episode, and they’re talking about how Olivia wants a “Boob Job”.

Basically, she’s not happy with her usual process of wearing several bras at a time plus padding them with “chicken cutlets” so she can look like she has big tits when she doesn’t. She’s set up an appointment to go get actual breast implants from a doctor. I believe she had decided she wanted a D-cup.

Fortunately for her, she ran into a chick that happened to be waiting in the doctor’s office to get a breast REDUCTION, which totally freaked Olivia out and she elected not to get her boob job that she had been raving about for ages.

The most important part of this storyline was a story she told about her mother. She said that she really liked the proportions of her mother’s body and had asked her when her tits were going to grow to look like her mother’s. The response she received was that her mother experienced a growth spurt around 21/22 years old.

After years of believing this, Olivia eventually found out that her mother had gotten a boob job.. Which means that genetically, there was no reason why Olivia should expect to naturally get any larger than she already is, which led to this implant obsession.

This is what happens when you fall for the okey-doke. This is what happens when you base your perception of reality on a lie. “I’m supposed to get this because someone told me I was going to get it”. “My life is supposed to unfold this way because someone told me it was supposed to”…

This is useful when we are kids because we can all utilize fantasies to help us understand adult concepts. Santa Claus brings the toys. The Stork brings the babies. The Tooth Fairy puts money under your pillow…

If these things cross over into your adult life, you’re going to have a problem adjusting to reality. Kids that don’t understand that babies come from a guy screwing a chick, not because some bird flew out of the sky and randomly deposited a baby where your family could find it end up surprised when they’re having sex for recreation and the girl gets pregnant. \o/ Whose fault is THAT? Is it the fault of the kid for not Googling “Child Birth”, or is it the parents’ fault for shirking responsibility and relying on fables instead of telling their son or daughter the truth about reality?

How tough would it have been for Olivia’s mother to SAY that she got a boob job instead of setting her daughter up to believe that her tits were ever going to grow? o_O

How tough is it for mothers to explain to their kids that their father is a ******* selfish-ass DEADBEAT who abandoned the family because he’s a JERK and not because the kids weren’t worth loving?

How tough is it for a guy to say “I have no intentions on dating you exclusively. I just feel like hooking up with you” and letting the gal decide whether she wants to roll with that program or not?

Unfortunately, there are times in life when people are going to lie to you. Your job is to check and test the logic and validity of what they’re saying to the best of your ability so you remain grounded in reality and don’t end up traveling down a path of your own creation.

Lies

I had a situation occur when I was a teenager that illustrated this point for me perfectly.

Due to my own fault (of miscalculation/misunderstanding, not intentional disrespect), I was scheduled to have a fight with this kid who was currently a friend of mine.

I didn’t want to have this fight, not because I would have lost (which I would have), but because I didn’t have any beef with him and liked him as a person. If I had disliked him at the time, we could have easily thrown the hands and I might have punched him in the face a few times in the process of getting my ass kicked. :D

So anyway.. I didn’t want to fight him, so this turned into a big argument with a big crowd watching. Some guy I’ve never seen before in my life starts instigating, telling me “Hit him.. You can take him.. Hit him!”.

Fortunately, a) this dude was a ******* NOBODY to me, so his opinion didn’t count, and b) I had already decided that I wasn’t going to fight my friend. This argument went on for quite a while, maybe 15 minutes, which is a LONG-ASS-TIME when a fight could break out at any second, and then we decided that there wasn’t going to be a fight and that was that.

Relatively soon after that.. I don’t remember whether it was a couple of days later or a couple of weeks later, I was hanging out and I heard someone talking. It turned out that it was the kid that had tried to instigate. He was talking to some other kid I didn’t know, saying “See that kid over there?.. The other day, he almost got his ass *BEAT* by this other kid, blah blah blah”.

That was a good learning experience for me because I got to reflect on what might have happened if I would have been so STUPID as to take some nobody’s advice on what I should do, especially when it pertained to an actual friend of mine.

I learned that people can SOUND incredibly sincere when they’re trying to get you to do something, but that doesn’t actually mean JACK ****. As much as they sound like they’re in your corner or have your best interests at heart… When the situation passes or when they decide they’ve gotten their entire usefulness from you, you may or may not see their true colors after that. What you need to do is stick to YOUR convictions and take what other people say into account but don’t allow your decision-making process to be affected by people that haven’t proven that their word should mean something to you.

This is why I’m so tired of hearing about what people SAID, as if it actually means something. It doesn’t.

• He said we were in an exclusive relationship.
• She said it was my baby.
• He said he was going to take me shopping after we had sex.
• She said she was out with her girlfriends all night.
• He said he wants to take care of my kids as if they were his own.
• She said he was her cousin / co-worker / probation officer…
• He said he was going to pull out.

Just stop it, people… They said whatever they needed to say to get you to do whatever they wanted you to do. You fell for it and you got GOT. Learn the lessons you can take away from your experiences and make better assessments in the future.. HOPEFULLY focusing on what people *DO* and not what they SAY.
–
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