Continued from “Time, Business & Handouts [Time, Part 1]“

In the very beginning of 2009, after I had aired my grievances with 2008 and was feeling, mentally, so fresh and so clean [clean], I ended up in a f2f conversation with a client one evening.

Jill, Bill & Flo

The reason I mention that it was evening is that I do my best work in the morning. By the time it gets to 7pm on any given day, I don’t give a flying &$#% about YOU or your project (even if I’m still working on it, hehe). The only think I’m thinking about by then are BREWS and CHICKS.

It’s nothing personal. I’m the same way about my own projects. The same thing that sounds like a FANTASTIC idea in the morning, that I can dedicate all sorts of TIME and ENERGY to, by the time it hits evening, I don’t care about my own ideas. I’ve learned this about myself and when I’m “eeh” about something that I think up in the evening, I shelf it until the morning to see what I REALLY think about it.

So that’s the state I was in when I happened to be f2f (face-to-face, IRL, in real life) with this client and I was nowhere NEAR in the mood to discuss ANY business other than what we were there to discuss at that moment. Here’s how the conversation went:

Him: So, what’s your schedule for [such-and-such-a-day]?

Actually, I have to stop there. :) When he asked me that, first of all, I tried to mentally access the day he was talking about to see if I was booked for any work on that day. He was talking about the week ahead of the day we were talking, and I realized after a few seconds that I didn’t have anything booked for that entire week. Once I figured that out, I shut my brain back down and went back to thinking about brews & chicks.

So, this is how it went:

Him: “So, what’s your schedule for [such-and-such-a-day]?”
Me: [mentally accessing] “…………………………..” *shrug*
Him: [looks at me funny]
Him: “ok, So what’s your schedule for [such-and-such-a-day+1]?”
Me: [now knowing I had nothing booked that day either] *shrug*
Him: [looks at me funny]
Him: “So, what do you do?”
Me: [stopping thinking about chicks... AGAIN, and accessing]
Me: “…………………. Well… The other day, a friend of mine couldn’t get her powerpoint presentation to go to video properly, so I had her send me her files and I made the video for her and output it to several formats she wanted and gave her the links to download them………………….. I also spend a lot of time maintaining my internet presence……………”
Him: [looking at me like I'm stupid] “Nah. I mean, What do you do FOR MONEY?”
Me: [looking at him like he wasn't listening] “That’s what I’m talking about.”

I know it was a hell of a lot funnier IRL, and you would have had to have seen our expressions during this exchange. :) Most people would have thought *I* was trippin’, because I couldn’t (or, potentially wouldn’t) say what I was doing on a given day. Meanwhile, I felt like *HE* was trippin’, because I had just explained exactly what he asked me about very clearly, and he didn’t get that I was talking about BUSINESS. That’s my fault, though, because I hadn’t fully explained to him how BUSINESS works, as far as I’m concerned.

Here’s the bottom line…

*ANYTHING* that you *CAN’T* do that I *CAN* do is BILLABLE.

If you can’t get yourself in shape and I can train you, that’s BILLABLE.
If you can’t output your powerpoint presentation before your deadline and I can, that’s BILLABLE.
If you can’t figure out what happened to your website’s theme and I can, that’s BILLABLE.
If you can’t make sense out of the hours of footage you shot and I can, that’s BILLABLE.
If you can’t film an event and I can… that’s BILLABLE.
If you CAN film the event, but you want ME to film it in better quality… that’s BILLABLE.
If you want to learn how to achieve and maintain over 1,000 Facebook friends… that’s BILLABLE.
If you want to know what equipment your company should buy, that’s BILLABLE.
If you want music written, produced or mixed for your show, that’s BILLABLE.
If you want to learn how to edit, greenscreen or color correct something, that’s BILLABLE.
on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on…

That’s why I looked at him like *HE* was trippin’. I had just told him that I took a situation that was about to FAIL and turned it into a WIN for a friend of mine, and his first assumption was that I didn’t CHARGE. HER. FOR. MY. TIME!!!!! :D Trippin’. Why in the world would I waste my own time for free? If her presentation doesn’t get delivered on time, do *I* take a pay cut? Nope. Do *I* get a blemish on my professional record? Nope. So… What’s my incentive for handling someone else’s business for free?

The Closer

Bill C.

The best way to describe professional freelancers is that we’re “closers”. In a baseball game, you have the starting pitcher, and then you have the closers. The starting pitcher’s job is to keep the game as close as possible into as late innings as possible. WORK, WORK, WORK, WORK, WORK… Work the starting pitcher TO DEATH, and then bring in the closer to make sure that the situation ends on a positive note for your team.

Sometimes, the closer works an inning and a half. Sometimes, the closer works only two batters (2/3 of one inning). Meanwhile, the closer STILL gets PIZAID (slang term, meaning PAID. A. LOT.) This is because without the closer, you, your company and your investors ALL FAIL if you can’t handle a business situation on your own. The closer is the “Ace up the sleeve”. You don’t pull that ace OUT until you REALLY need it to guarantee the win.

Here’s an example…. The other day, I just HAPPENED to be available and near my computer & equipment around 2:45 in the afternoon. I COULD have been at the gym and not monitoring iChat/AIM or any other way people can contact me via Social Media. I could have been at a friend’s house “doing what I do”. :D I could have been booked that day and working on a project. I could have been in another state, entirely.

So it just so happened that I was “in position” when a client IMed (instant messaged) me talkin’ ’bout “Can you be on a client’s (his client’s) location by 3pm? :O”. That’s the only reason I know what time he IMed me. That’s when I looked at the clock and realized it was PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE for me to be where he wanted me to be within 15 minutes. I mean the only way would have been for me to walk out the door that second, without testing ANY of my equipment, get right into a magically-awaiting cab, have there be ZERO TRAFFIC in Manhattan, NYC, USA at 3 in the afternoon, have ALL THE LIGHTS TURN GREEN IN FRONT OF US, get right into the building, into the elevator, to the client’s floor and to their suite, where I had never been before. :D Impossible.

So I told him “Nope.” hahaha I told him “I can get there ASAP, but it won’t be anywhere near 3pm”. Since I was the only game in town, he told me to go for it. I arrived to my client’s client’s spot @ 3:45, handled the business and sent out the invoice. Closed. FTW (for the win).

Dynamic Life

This is why I can’t tell you what I’m doing on Wednesday. It’s not Wednesday yet. The only way I’d be able to tell you what I’m doing on any given day is if I know I’m already booked and confirmed for that day, which means YOU can’t have it.

This is incorrectly inverted by people who think that when you say you “don’t have anything to do” on a particular day, or you “don’t know what you’re doing” on a particular day that that means that THEY can take up your time on that day. No. What it means is, If an EMERGENCY comes up for one of my current clients, I might handle that. If I get booked the day before for a job on that day, I might be doing that. If I decide to spend the day drinking Cosmopolitans with my girls, I might be doing that. If I decide to travel to DC for a couple of days, I might be doing that. If I decide to hang out in the gym all day, I might be doing that. If I decide to write a couple of DatingGenius posts and a Social Media post, I might be doing that. If I decide to spend the day reading other people’s blogs and commenting and maintaining my internet presence, I might be doing that. If I decide to go act in somebody’s videoblog, I might be doing that…..

“The Spirit’s Day Off” – Indy Mogul Test Film
Indy Mogul: Behind The Scenes – “The Spirit’s Day Off”

That’s the DYNAMIC life… Not the STATIC life. The closer doesn’t pitch 9 innings like the other pitchers. The closer doesn’t go out in the field once per inning like the rest of the players. The closer doesn’t pitch in the 3rd inning, sit down and pitch again in the 7th.

The closer doesn’t 9-5 it. The closer doesn’t waste time and energy on minutia. The closer’s job is to be READY and SHARP, just in case the job needs finishing. What does the closer do during most of the game??? HANG OUT. That’s right. HANG OUT. You might see the closer head to the bullpen around the 6th or 7th inning to get warmed up just in case. Other than that, don’t bother the closer.

Do not ask the closer to pinch-hit. Do not ask the closer to carry bats. Do not ask the closer to help the catcher put his pads back on. Do not ask the closer to carry the drink cooler. Do not ask the closer to do ANYTHING other than be prepared to SHUT THE OTHER TEAM DOWN if need be.

Free Time

Bill & Grace

This is why there’s no such thing as “free time”.

The time that appears to be “free” to YOU is necessary to the closer in order to maintain the proper mental and physical state to do what I need to do when the time comes. If you see me at a party….. it’s because I’M PARTYING. It’s not an indication that I don’t have enough work to do to keep me busy. It’s not an invitation for YOU to attempt to further your own business interests at MY expense.

On top of that… :) Another thing I find really funny is that EVERYONE seems to assume that they’re THE ONLY ONES that have asked me for a favor. SRSLY… It’s like “take a number and head to the back of the line”.

Just the other day, this friend of mine informed me at 6:30 pm that there was a party going on THAT EVENING and asked me if I could come through and videotape it………… Why in the WORLD would I want to do THAT? :D It’s really amazing. I think there’s a disconnect where people FAIL to put themselves in other people’s shoes. It borders on insanity. It’s like how when people get older, and their kids do EXACTLY what THEY were doing at that age, it’s like they completely FORGOT what they used to do and act like THE KIDS ARE CRAZY!

Let’s say YOU were about to enjoy a leisurely evening of popcorn and DVD movies on the couch with your wife/husband/SO/whatever, and I called you up talking about “Hey. Get up from your couch, bring your professional equipment, come to this location in the middle of the night and work FOR NO REASON AT ALL and NO PAYMENT. Thanks. Seeya There! :D”… Wouldn’t you think I was CRAZY? Like, out of touch with REALITY?

The “problem” here is that most people are pitchers, not closers. Most people scratch along and do what they can do to get some money and it takes all of their time and energy, so when they see someone enjoying himself, they figure he’s not working as hard as he COULD BE and that his free time could be best utilized to enhance THEIR lives.

No. It doesn’t work that way. :) It’s like the Fire Department. You don’t see them running all over creation doing stuff for people, because THEIR JOB is to be ON POINT when the REAL ACTION goes down. You want that Firefighter to be able to lift that hose, axe that door, save that civilian, climb that ladder, rappel from that roof, run up that staircase and SAVE. YOUR. $&@#*#&. ASS. when you really need it. NAH MEEN?

So when you ask that Firefighter what he’s doing this Wednesday, and he’s like *shrug* “Playing cards down at the station?”, don’t look at him FUNNY, like as if he’s not DOING $*%& with his life. Recognize that he’s a CLOSER. He doesn’t LIVE like you do. He doesn’t WORK like you do, but TRUST & BELIEVE, just like the closing pitcher or the special forces sniper, when it *IS* time for him to go to work, you’re gonna see top-quality results, and you’re gonna be glad that a SPECIALIST was available to handle the business.

~Bill Cammack, January 19, 2009

Social Media Category: billcammack.com/category/social-media
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This is a response to Chrissie Brodigan’s post, “Don’t Feed the Trolls: Dealing With Social Media Sins”.

Not that I give a damn about disclosure, but I’ll mention that Chrissie is a friend of mine (as is probably everyone else she’s talking about in her post):

Interesting.

I posted about this back in June: [http://billcammack.com/2008/07/12/freedom-of-consequences/].

Basically, in order to “live online” as we do, one needs to remain mindful of the lowest common denominator. Whatever you’re “saying”, make sure that if your employer or your grandmother or your “significant other” or you CHILDREN see it, that it’s an accurate representation of yourself that you’re willing to OWN… because odds are that eventually you WILL have to own it, and probably in a fashion that you didn’t consider at the time.

Even “That was then and this is now” is only a partial defense. Look at the Presidential campaign that just went on. John McCain acted like A JERK for the whole time, and then when it was all over and he lost, he gave, IMO, a heartfelt, genuine, really respectable and admirable speech. Things like that can alter people’s perception about a person, but the facts and memories remain about their prior behavior, even if the ‘pain’ of them is muted by the person’s present actions.

So, ultimately, the WIN is Prevention and not Cure. Does that call for sacrifice of some (or many) things one would want to do or say? Yes. The question, however, is what do you really want in the end? Do you want to have social media friends, who don’t know everything you think and feel?… or would you rather be known for what you think and feel and let the chips fall?…..

Social Media is characterized by asynchronous relationships… basically, stalking, in a one-way fashion or a mutual fashion. I might get two comments on a post I make, and then everyone I run into IRL is like “I read your post, blah blah blah”. You can’t suspect that the people you hear from are the ONLY ONES that dislike what happened. Those are merely the ones who are willing to risk THEIR OWN social media reputations by wearing THEIR hearts on Twitter in the same way you constantly wear yours. It basically branches out and people take sides behind the scenes, which is what causes “floods”, because a lot of people get fed up at the same time… a lot of people that the person in question probably wasn’t even AWARE that they knew of or had any opinions at all about the situation, which they thought, for some odd reason, was contained to a small group.

On top of that, our NYC set is different from other groups, because we’re in so much physical, IRL contact with each other. I’m very used to going to parties where I know 60 people on the Facebook “definite” list. I have over 200 mutual friends with several people on Facebook, and a lot of those people live here in NY or NJ. Obviously, all of these people are not going to get along with each other. The only way to navigate this group is to remain neutral. I can care or not care about the situation, empathize or not, but ultimately, it’s none of my business, and I’m not going to tell or suggest to people what they should do, and I’m not going to choose one side over the other, between people that have historically been decent towards me and have developed some sort of beef between each other.

So, to apply my own theory… When I go to that party that at least 60 people that I know are going to show up to, I have to be mentally prepared to OWN anything I’ve said about them since the last time I saw them. I also have to OWN the videos I make and the blog posts I make and the currently 710 pictures of myself on Facebook, where I can’t turn around and say “no… I don’t know that person” or “no… I wasn’t at that party”. I have to own what I say and do AT the party. I have to own the media I output about that party and the cycle continues. So, basically, every stitch of media that you output, you need to check yourself on whether you’re willing to own it, ad infinitum.

As this pertains to your suggested rules for offenders:

You always “Acknowledge Action”, because it’s in “Black & White”, and YOU put it there yourself. It’s not like paparazzi ran up and quoted you and put it in the tabloids. If you post from a position of ownership, acknowledgement is obvious.

You can’t “Become a Victim”, because you’ve already owned the media. You already know WHY you said what you said or did what you did and you already thought about how you would defend it before you pressed “send”. “Defense” is merely informing people about what you were thinking when you posted it. The only real question is whether you unintentionally slighted someone in a way you didn’t anticipate when you posted, in which case, if you feel like apologizing for it, that’s completely appropriate. If they take offense at something you fully MEANT to say and currently stand behind at the point of the ensuing conversation, the issue becomes whether or not you were out of bounds with what you said and whether “the shoe fits” as far as what you said about them, which THEY would need to recognize, and get out of your face.

The Final Frontier is blocking people. That doesn’t keep them from finding out about YOU, but it keeps YOU from hearing what THEY have to say about you. If people aren’t going to be rational and have intelligent discussions with you (assuming YOU’RE acting rationally, to begin with), then the solution is to agree to disagree and hope to avoid those people as much as possible.

So, Yes… It’s EXTREMELY COMPLICATED to live in public, even the limited “public” of our echo chamber, but that’s exactly what it is… an Echo Chamber, which means that everything you say and everything everyone else says is going to keep coming back to you. Your best bet, as I’ve outlined, is OWNERSHIP from the giddyap, so you’re fully prepared to deal with the ricochets.

~Bill

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A & C aligned in perfect sync today. Understanding is beautiful… and simple at the same time.

Gabriela knows what I mean. ;)

“To me, Days are Wasted when you know there’s something you want to do or that you feel you *SHOULD* be doing, and you’re not doing it.“

Photo Credit: Jay Batista

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Christian Payne aka “Documentally” is a photographer and blogger who was commissioned by the UNHCR to photograph the plight of Iraqi refugees in Jordan.

I edited Christian’s work into a video that we’ve recently completed, and he posted this video, thanking me as well as others for what we’ve done:

Bill & Dan in NYC

Liz Gannes, Bill Cammack & Dina Kaplan

Through social media, and also by meeting in person @ Adam Quirk’s event named Vloggercue in Brooklyn, I developed an impression of Phil Campbell as a stand-up guy and a good judge of character. For Phil to bring up Christian’s project to me, I’m automatically *infinitely* more inclined to hear more about it. Yes, it helped A LOT that Christian already had a strong social media presence. Yes, it helped A LOT that the photos he shot for the project are rich and full of emotion, intimacy and meaning. However, the *main* thing is connection… passing it on. Social media offers us the opportunity to get to know each other, asynchronously… and then follow up to find out how the real person matches up to his or her online persona.

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OK Fellaz, let’s get down to brass tacks here.

The way “dating” is set up in patriarchal society, it’s up to YOU, as the guy, to run the show. YOU kick it to the chick, she decides whether to give you some or not. You make the money. You make the decisions. You’re the “head of household”. No matter how much this society tries to make you into women, you’re *NOT*, so get over it and handle your business when it comes to chicks.

Having said that….. Since it’s YOUR responsibility to pull the chick, it’s YOUR responsiblity to be FLY! That’s a slang term meaning VERY GOOD in general, but in this case, we’re talking about your overall presentation. We’re talking about how you look, how you act, what shape you’re in, how ambitous you are in your career, how you handle your money… Top to Bottom, you have to be better than the next man if you think you’re going to get the rap to some chick.

LIFE. IS. NOT. FAIR.

You are not ENTITLED to a girlfriend.
You are not ENTITLED to have any female friends AT ALL.
You are not ENTITLED to have sex with a chick even if she likes hanging out with you.
You are not ENTITLED to have instant messenger text or video chats with chicks.
You are not ENTITLED to responses to your emails or direct messages.
You *ARE* entitled to….. *NOTHING*. :D

All men are NOT created equal. We may have been born through the same process, but some of us have distinct advantages over others. Go look up Alpha Males, Beta Males and Omega Males. If you’re a natural, chicks just like you and that’s that. You can do whatever you want, such as write blog posts that talk yang about males and females AT THE SAME TIME, and you will still have girls attracted to you just by walking in the door. Life Isn’t Fair. :D

The problem with Omega Males is that they refuse to correctly perceive themselves as the bottom of the barrel. They think to themselves “That good-looking, in-shape, well-educated, friendly, gregarious, charming, well-spoken guy over there can get girls…. so can I!” BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Wrong.

The first thing Omega Males need to do is realize their position in life. It’s like going to Alcoholics Anonymous. Unless you admit you have a problem, you’ll never go for treatment. The first step is admitting that YOU’RE WACK! … Say it with me now… “I am wack”. See? Don’t you feel better now? :D NOW we can get to the part where you attempt to overcome your deficiencies. See, by thinking you’re the same as guys that women actually WANT to talk to them, you’re doing yourself a disservice because you’re not trying as hard as *YOU* need to in order to pull a decent female. Then, when the chick cuts off communications with you, you try to blame it on her. You want to say she’s fickle or a tease or she led you on. Let me let you in on a little secret…..

Chicks in general are non-confrontational. You would think that’s a good thing, but it isn’t… not for YOU. It’s good for guys that girls WANT, because you say “let’s get out of here ;)” and she says “ok” and it’s on and poppin’. The problem for YOU is that she never wanted to talk to you in the first place. She saw you come in the door. She saw you on the dance floor. She saw you post up in her area. She saw you looking out the corner of your eye to try to gauge if you’d be successful in rapping to her or not. She knew what you wanted when you asked her what time it is or if she’d like to dance. She knew you were going to try to get on. She knew you would ask her for her number…..

This is where the non-confrontational part comes in. She will do one of three things. She will inform you that she’s not going to give you her number, she will give you a fake number or she will give you a real number.

If she tells you “no” from the get, she’s going to have to listen to you whining and trying to change her mind.

If she gives you a fake number, she takes the risk that you will call her immediately and realize that you connected to Pizza Hut. More whining from you and trying to change her mind. On top of that, she looks like an IDIOT because she “doesn’t know her own telephone number”. Now, she has to either tell you “no” or give up the real number.

If she gives you the real number, it’s still a trap. :) There are only two ways you can call her. With or without Caller ID. If you call her with your number blocked, she’s going to let it go to the machine, because she DOESN’T know who’s calling her. If you call her with your number showing, she’s going to let it go to the machine because she DOES know who’s calling her… Or, to put it another way, she knows it’s not anybody calling whom she actually picks up the phone for.

All paths here lead to frustration. The only way around this is to realize that YOU’RE WACK and start on the road to self-improvement. Let’s look at what you can do to make yourself less loathsome to chicks. :D

Improve your vocabulary. Go research the difference between “their” and “there”, and “your” and “you’re”. If this chick accidentally has a kid with you, she’s going to want the kid to be SMART, not STUPID.

Stop using primitive tactics to try to pull her. By using the same AMATEUR skillz that get you on with short-bus girls at the club, you’re demeaning the woman you’re kicking it to. She can’t believe that YOU believe you’re going to get on with such garbage. She feels low-rated and is less likely to give it up, so figure out how to step up your game, playah.

Stop trying to hide your kids. This is the United States of America. It’s very easy to find out that you have kids…. and a wife too, for that matter. Stop faking the funk. If you’re trying to get some on the side, “man up” about it. You might get turned down off the bat, but at least she respects you for not trying to get over.

If you’re *BITTER* about everything, KEEP. IT. TO. YOURSELF! :D Nobody’s interested in what you think you’re entitled to or how mad you are that you don’t have what the next man has. Suck it up, put a SMILE on your face, and show the chick a good time.

Go. To. The. Gym. You want to be in GOOD shape so that she’s HOPING you take your clothes off instead of DREADING the concept. :( You don’t want her to start singing the Fat Albert theme song when you emerge from the bathroom in your boxers.

If you’re NOT going to get in shape, at least DRESS WELL! Buy one of those hip-hop graffiti shirts so you look like a wall or an old-school subway car.

Watch black and white movies. Guys don’t know how to treat the ladies anymore. You have to watch old movies to receive the essence of male elegance and character.

And, the *most* important thing is to step to her “on the humble”. Do *NOT* act like you’re entitled to have her talk to you, text with you, email with you, video chat with you, dance with you, go home with you… NONE OF THAT. Just let her know you appreciate how she looks and you’d like to get to know more about her, then cross your fingers! :D

DatingGenius

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