Bill Cammack » Lindsey Chen

How To Marry A Prince

Bill Cammack — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 14:40:14 +0000

Back once again to save your day (or, your entire dating career, for that matter), Lindz & Bill return with our top 10 tips on “How To Marry A Prince”!!! :D

Lindz (urbanupdater.com)

1. Start saving your pennies now! – We all know princes are filthy rich, but that doesn’t mean they want you to be their charity case. Knowing that his princess works hard and can take care of herself financially is a turn on for him. Let’s be honest.. You really won’t have to.. It’s just in theory.

2. Commit yourself… To him: Even if you break up (That is.. If you still think you want a chance) – Notice how Prince William dated all kinds of different women when he broke up with Kate, but she dated NO ONE. That’s because a prince doesn’t want someone else’s leftovers. And if a Prince doesn’t want it, he doesn’t have to have it.

3. Know what a fascinator is.. And wear one – Even if you think it looks ridiculous, a prince wants a lady who’s put together, and fascinators make you look important.

4. Don’t bask in the limelight – That’s just bad form. You did this because you love him, not to get famous, right?

5. Don’t wear those shirts that say “It’s Not Easy Being a Princess” – Let’s just say you wouldn’t want to have an operation done by a doctor wearing a shirt that says “Trust Me, I’m a Doctor”. Case in point.

Bill (facebook.com/ReelSolid.TV)

6. Meet a prince – Princes don’t hang out at your job, in your apartment, or at your local bar. Find out where princes chill, like the polo club or whatever, and go post up there.

7. Carry yourself regally – Princes don’t want paupers. They want refined women that just happen to have been overlooked somehow. Be that woman.. Make him feel lucky that he found you, instead of the other way around.

8. Play Your Position – Recognize that you won’t be calling ANY shots, because he’s royalty by blood and you aren’t… However.. Expect and demand that your prince treats you with the proper respect and reverence as should be afforded that special gal that he selected to be his *only* woman AND bear him a couple dozen heirs.

9. Cultivate skills other than sex and cooking – The basics are only going to get you the audition. If you want to make it onto the roster and eventually become the cream that rises to the top, you’re going to have to have a lot more going for you than the same thing that all the other women offer him every day of the week.

10. Don’t go outside looking busted – Make sure you look stunning at all times. Women that princes date REMAIN paparazzi-fodder. A prince wants people to read the tabloids and say he’s extremely lucky to be marrying that woman, instead of “Dag! o_O .. He must have gotten her pregnant! :(”
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10 Reasons He Wants To Be “Just Friends”

Bill Cammack — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 16:25:11 +0000

Lindsey Chen (@LindseyChen) & Bill Cammack (@BillCammack)

Lindz & Bill present 10 Reasons He Wants To Be “Just Friends”

Related Posts
Lindsey & Bill: Does He Want To Be Friends?
Top 10 Reasons to Date a Geek
Top Ten Valentine’s Day DON’Ts!
Top 10 Mistakes Girls Make When Trying To Get A Guy
Top 10 Mistakes Guys Make When Trying To Get A Girl
10 Warning Signs That You Should Dump His Ass

Every once in a while, a gal will meet a guy that she knows likes her as a person as well as romantically, however, he refuses to make it happen. He refuses to take that extra step to start something up between them and see how it goes. This is when a gal finds herself trapped in the dreaded Friends Zone!!! :O

As usual, it’s Lindz & Bill to the rescue, with ten reasons why you might be receiving this kind of treatment. Let us know what you think in the comments section, below…

Lindz

1. He Wants to Keep His Options Open

Ladies, he would never put himself on a diet just in case he got hungry and wanted a cheeseburger and fries. The same with this situation. Tying himself down to you or any one person at all completely eliminates all the rest of the girls out there and to be honest, there are many fish in the sea. Many FINE fish in the sea that are looking for the perfect King Salmon or King Crab to go home with.

2. He’d Rather Hang Out With His Guy Friends Than Be Obligated To You

By not dating you or any other woman, he has the right to say, “No I don’t want to go to your sister’s Bat Mitzvah with you. I’d rather stay home and play Fantasy Football. Really it doesn’t matter what he is doing because if he’s not tied down to you, he has no obligation. Guys are lazy and they don’t like to commit. Maybe one night he would rather sit at home and watch porn than go to your Mom’s 60th birthday with you. Can you blame him?

3. The Holidays Are Coming Up And He’s Broke.

Having a significant other generally means that you have to get them a gift for their birthday, Christmas, Valentine’s Day. If he’s broke and legitimately cannot afford a gift for you, he may hold off on the boyfriend/girlfriend status because not getting you a gift will make him seem cheap and embarassing, and he would rather be single than be called cheap.

4. You’re Way Hotter Than Him and He’s Insecure That You’ll Leave Him

Guys really do think that way. He would rather not date you than date you and be dumped by you. Because then he would be that douchebag that got dumped by the hot girl. And it would hurt his self esteem and image for longer than you would probably be dating. He’s gotta look out for himself in this situation. That’s why you see so many good looking guys with not so good looking girls. They are confident that she’ll stick around. It’s hard being hot. I know…

5. You’re Damaged Goods (Bros Before Hoes)

Well you brought this upon yourself, what can I say? If you’re trying to hook up with a guy or date him, DO NOT.. I repeat.. DO NOT hook up, date, sleep around, flirt, text, his friends. Contrary to what you may think, guys DO talk and they will talk about that girl (YOU) who is trying to play them like they were born yesterday. So be wise and most importantly, choose wisely. One stupid drunken hook up could curse your future forever.
You’re damaged goods (Bros before Hoes)

Bill

6. He Doesn’t Want To Hit It

He thinks you’re fantastic as a person and all that, but he just doesn’t see having sex with you as being a good time. This might be because he’s not physically turned on by your body or he’s not mentally aroused by your mentality or your way of being. You might be too kinky for him or not kinky enough.. too chunky or too skinny, too prudish or too horny, you might have too much junk in the trunk or not enough bounce to the ounce! HAHA Who Knows? :D

7. You Can’t Handle It

“I’ve seen the future! I can’t afford it!” Sometimes, it becomes apparent that getting out is going to be tougher than getting in. Being that he has ZERO intentions of having sex with only you for the rest of his life, as much as he’d love to hook up with you, it’s ultimately more trouble than it’s worth. He’ll just have to be content to fantasize about it and keep it movin’! :D

8. HE Can’t Handle It

A brotha stands to potentially lose some Cool Points if he hooks up with a chick that’s TOO FOYINE and then all that “King Of My Castle” trash he’s been talking about women for YEARS suddenly evaporates into thin air. He might have to take a pass on this one in order to maintain his Social Cred.

9. Your Friendship or Business Is More Important

Keep your eyes on the prize!!! :D You don’t want to jack you career advancement because your now-ex-girlfriend doesn’t want to see your grill around the office. Bite the bullet on this one and get PizAID!!! You can pull a lot more chicks with the money you’ll be getting from this one. ;)

Also, if you expect a certain level of coolness and mental compatibility, close homegirls are hard to find. Beleedat! It’s TOTALLY not worth it to alienate a great gal because she’s sour that y’all aren’t hooking up anymore. But hey… I mean if she begs you, you might just have to do her that solid and hit her off, NAH MEEN? :D

10. You Have Lots Of Attractive Girlfriends

If he’s friends with you, you’ll introduce him to all your foyine-ass girlfriends that are always crowded around you at the parties! :D If he’s messing with you, you’re gonna hog The Kid all to yourself, and what’s the point of being SELFISH??? :D

Remember! Ain’t no fun ‘less’n your HOMEGIRLS could get some!!! :D

Lindz|@LindseyChen & Bill|@BillCammack

10 Warning Signs That You Should Dump His Ass

Bill Cammack — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 14:19:24 +0000

Lindsey Chen (@LindseyChen) & Bill Cammack (@BillCammack)

Lindz & Bill present 10 Warning Signs That You Should Dump His Ass!

Related Posts
Top 10 Reasons to Date a Geek
Top Ten Valentine’s Day DON’Ts!
Top 10 Mistakes Girls Make When Trying To Get A Guy
Top 10 Mistakes Guys Make When Trying To Get A Girl
Lindsey & Bill: Does He Want To Be Friends?
Morning-After Conduct

Lots of times… Sometimes evidenced in this very blog, hehe.. Women stay in relationships that they would be better off getting out of.

In some cases, it’s not obvious to them what’s going on, but in others, their Significant Other is waving these gigantic red flags at them that they either refuse to see or are unable to recognize for some reason.

As usual, it’s Lindz & Bill to the rescue, with ten warning signs that should make y’all go “HMMMMMMMMMM…..”. Let us know what you think in the comments section, below…

Lindz

1. He books a trip home to see his parents and when he calls you, he says “Actually I’ve decided to stay… um.. indefinitely.”

To me, this says, “I don’t really give a $^#% about you, or what you think. All I care about is myself.” He doesn’t even bother to discuss it with you or see how you feel. Mind you, it IS his decision ultimately, but come on, man… be respectful and courteous. I’ll give it to him that he may be stressed or frustrated over something, which may or may not have something to do with you, but is that how he deals with his issues? Just ups and leaves? Well, do yourself a favor and leave this loser.

2. He’s too self-conscious or insecure to meet your friends or introduce you to his.

If even HE thinks he’s a loser, then why would YOU want to waste your time on him? He obviously has more issues than just being insecure – He has low self-esteem and doesn’t think he’s worth meeting your amazingly cool friends. And you’re way too awesome to have to deal with this baggage. If he doesn’t think he’s worth it, then you definitely shouldn’t either. DUMP HIS ASS.

3. He forgets about your Birthday / Anniversary / Valentine’s Day.

A good guy will never forget about these holidays. Whether you care about them or not, he should show that he appreciates you for who you are. If he forgets them, someone better have died, because otherwise it just shows that he doesn’t prioritize his relationship over other things in his life. What? Is he too into playing WOW and forgot that it was your birthday IRL? In the future, how is he going to show his appreciation if he can’t even remember what day is your birthday? LOSER.

4. He never has money to pay for his share when you go out.

Note: I said HIS SHARE, not even the whole bill – I get it that we’re in the 21st Century, and a lot of the times, it’s common for guys and girls to go 50/50. I’m talking about those guys that expect YOU to foot the bill. EXCUSE ME? This is the first warning sign of a loser who isn’t financially responsible for himself and chooses not to take care of himself. Last I checked you weren’t his babysitter. You better dump his ass before he starts asking you for his weekly allowance.

5. He treats his family like $^#% and makes up excuses as to why they don’t get along. I.E. He’s too good for them.

If he believes that its OK to treat his family – his own flesh and blood – like crap, how do you think he feels about treating you? He obviously doesn’t think there is anything wrong with that and with the right situation to piss him off, he’s like an atom bomb waiting to explode. Just make sure that you’re not around to reap the repercussions.

Bill

6. Having a girlfriend isn’t as important to him as having a boyfriend is to you.

Lots of times, dudes are just getting laid. Period. It doesn’t really have anything to do with YOU, personally. A girlfriend = guaranteed sex, and that’s about it. If it’s not personal with you, you can be easily replaced by any OTHER chick that wants to have sex with him on the regular and isn’t going to be too much of a PITA in the meantime. Keep those lines of communication open so you can tell whether he’s having the same relationship to you that you’re having to him.

7. He doesn’t consider any of your opinions to be valid.

Do you ever get that feeling when you make suggestions that your man’s playing you off like Keyboard Cat?

That’s a beauty pageant, not a spelling bee. That chick wasn’t selected for her mind. She was selected for her looks and her body. Similarly, if that’s why YOU were hired, and your man really doesn’t give a damn what you say or think, don’t expect to have MORE respect in the future. You’ll most likely have LESS, being that you’re no longer in school, your brain isn’t getting any exercise, because nobody discusses intelligent topics with you and the education you DID receive in school is now outdated. If this is you… get a new boyfriend who respects you or at least is willing to pretend that he does.

8. He’s always getting numbers / still active on that dating site you met him on.

Remember when you met him and you shut down your account and you stopped returning emails from dudes and you stopped checking how many winks you got today? :D hahaha Well, Keep an eye on your man’s account, because if it’s still active, you might not be “all that” and he might be preparing to trade you in for the next best chick. If you’d like to know for sure, make a fake account, send him a wink/message and see if he takes the bait…..

9. He doesn’t treat you differently from any other chick.

If you’re REALLY his girlfriend, you should be able to list the perks that you get for having that title. If you can’t differentiate between how your man treats YOU vs. how he treats other chicks, you might not be Ms. Right. You might be Mrs. Right Now! :D Ask him for something that should be easy for him to do, like… I don’t know….. kiss you in public?….. hehehe If you can’t get that, he may very well be preserving his game with the next chick, since her friends might be in the same room with you, or maybe she’s there herself.

10. You have access to his ex-girlfriends and knowledge of how THEIR relationships ended up.

Ladies… Please… Seriously… :D If you see how some dude dogged females in the past, PLEASE use that information to make educated decisions about messing with him or trying to be his girlfriend. I’m sure that every single one of them thought that they were as fly as YOU think YOU are right now. Every one of them ended up as *EX-GIRLFRIENDS* too, so get a clue.

Lindz|@LindseyChen & Bill|@BillCammack

Lindz & Bill WorldWide As Usual

Bill Cammack — Sun, 24 May 2009 03:21:32 +0000

Lindz & Bill WorldWide As Usual, originally uploaded by Bill Cammack.

Recent Visitor map for Lindsey Chen & Bill Cammackâ€™s article: "Top 10 Reasons to Date a Geek"

Post: May 20, 2009 10:57 am

Screenshot: May 23, 2009 11:00 pm (84 hours live)

Top 10 Reasons to Date a Geek

Bill Cammack — Wed, 20 May 2009 14:57:04 +0000

L = Lindsey Chen B = Bill Cammack

Lindz & Bill present the top 10 reasons why you should actively seek out geeks for dating, relationships or marriage:

Geeks are always played down in the John Cusack / John Hughes movies, but you’ll notice they always end up with that monumental kiss at the end of the movie, indicating that a long-lasting and loving relationship ensued.

I’ll bet you wondered why they write movies that way… Well, wonder no more!!! Here’s why geeks > EVERYBODY as far as dating! :D

1. You can learn a lot about them by going to their website – usually www.theirname.com. They will have a site.

L: What’s a geek without a site? A fake geek. Google them and you can probably find everything you need to know about them – hell – their favorite food, color and even their blood type. Just be careful though, you can also bet that they have a secret tracking service to track your IP address, so you may want to do this from your local public library.

B: FRLZ! If you can’t go to LindseyChen.com or BillCammack.com and get all the information you need to determine whether you’d like to meet this person or not, they need to turn in their geek credentials.

Even Worse… If you can’t Google Lindsey Chen or Google Bill and find them within the top 10 entries for their name, they’re probably not authentic geeks at all! :/

2. They don’t have time to cheat on you because they’re working on their startup.

B: Geeks have a severely limited amount of time allocated to social interaction. That’s why they buy dogs instead of having kids. Dogs don’t need to be taught English or how to play baseball. They also don’t need a college fund. Anyway… You can be that your Geeky Significant Other is spending every DROP of socialization they can muster on YOU! :D If they say they’re working late, they actually ARE! If they say they’re out having drinks, they’re STILL discussing their business, not trying to get raps. Until they “get bought”, you have absolutely NOTHING to worry about! :D

L: And when they’re out drinking, you know they’re really not. Refer to #9. One of the main reasons they like to work on their startup is because they’re a geek and we all know they have very limited social skillz. So why spend the time being socially awkward while trying to talk to a girl in a bar when they can be at their computer? The computer understands, it doesn’t talk back and it will certainly give you the time of day. Plus, you never have to buy it dinner or worry if its cheating on you ;)

3. Their idea of girl watching is going to images.google.com and typing in “girls”.

L: I mean, honestly… Why would they even think about getting in their car – better yet strapping on their rollerblades and heading down to the local mall or Starbucks to go girl watching? They have their computer, they can easily type in “GIRLS” and mostly likely they can also hack into the site to steal the pictures afterwards. It’s an all around win-win situation for both, eh?

B: Absolutely. “Going Places” is completely inefficient. Real chicks have become obsolete, due to the plethora of free internet porno options available. Sure, they’re nice to look at and all that, but in the time it takes to get them to give it up, you could have handled the business already.

4. You introduce them to The Beatles (or any other good band) and they think you’re the best music talent scout ever.

B: Geeks are normally only exposed to middle-of-the-road Hipster Music that gets passed around on social media sites, like this:

They’re not used to music with actual drive or meaning. Introduce them to a band or artist from a period when they actually had to write good lyrics and play good music to get a record deal, and they’ll thank you profusely for it. ;)

L: Exactly. If all they ever hear is the crappy internet music and they think that’s good, can you imagine the light you can shed on them when you tell them to listen to something worth listening to?.. Take it one step further and buy them a CD… After all, it’s not always all about Limewire or iTunes.

5. You never have to pay customer support to figure out why your website isn’t working.

L: How annoying is it to call customer support all the time to try and fix your website, computer or anything else on the internet? Do you know what DHCP or HTML means? Me neither, but that’s why you have a geek boyfriend/girlfriend. 24 hour support ’round the clock style, and the best part is that you’re not on hold for 2 hours! Hallelujah!

B: No doubt. A few back massages and some “special attention” ;) and there’s no need for you to call Kansas… and be re-routed to India.

6. You know that they googled sexual positions and skillz.

Lux Alptraum & Bill Cammack

B: Don’t you just hate it when you get down to the Nitty-Gritty with someone and only THEN figure out that their entire sexual style was derived from emulating late-night softcore movies on Showtime or HBO?

Forget all that! Just the way they studied for their SATs, geeks study YOUR BODY and figure out the most efficient & expedient ways to get you where you need to go! Satisfaction Guaranteed!.. Capisce??? :D

L: hahaha This is sad, but so true, so you need not worry if you’re the first person they’ve ever been with or the 2nd. (Let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves).. And to make things even better, you know they’re clean! – They can probably read off every symptom of ever STD known to mankind, courtesy of google.com, of course.

7. Their idea of a great bachelor party is all meeting up and going on a WoW raid.

L: Going back to the notion that geeks like to “do it online” rather than IRL, this is really a benefit for you… Why go out and get drunk with a stripper when you can kill people or stalk people or do whatever the hell you do on a WOW raid? So much more fun… And you don’t even have to get dressed up to do it!

B: hahaha Not to mention, with the number of chicks on YouTube doing “live shows” where they show more T&A than their actual faces, there’s no point in hitting The Wedge or Scores anymore. Just mute the volume on your computer so their nasal vocal tones and inane babbling don’t distract you from checking out their bodies & it’s INSTANT BACHELOR PARTY! WOOOOOO! :D

8. They’re easy to shop for. They wear the same clothes you do.

B: This is one of the benefits of dating chicks that look good in flannel lumberjack shirts, black jeans and black boots. They look cool and hawt at the same time, and you don’t have to worry about getting stranded at their crib after a night of partying, because you know they have something for you to wear the next day.

Also, you get to avoid being photographed while buying her a gift in Victoria’s Secret and becoming a laughing stock on Facebook.

L: This is true, however the flipside may not be so true. I wouldn’t like to see my boyfriend wearing a skirt and heels. I think the main point is that geeks can’t tell if its designer or if its Wal-Mart brand, so no need to impress. In fact, they’ll be happier that you spent $5 on a t-shirt than $100 bucks and most likely they’ll never know. Prada.. what?

9. They’re too scared to drink because the might get drunk, therefore you always have a Designated Driver.

L: Being a geek doesn’t mean that you don’t drink. It just means that it not only kills brain cells but it can also get you drunk and take it that critical step further, where you could do something you regret! Geeks are way too “smart” to drink and lose their inhibitions. I mean WHO DOES THAT??? :X

B: COMPLETELY! hehe.. This is the Facebook Age. You can’t afford to get blitzed and end up getting tagged in a picture making out with a cardboard cutout of Hillary Clinton.

10. No interference from outsiders. You’re the only one that thinks they’re HAWT.

B: Yeah, your geek-boyfriend has ZERO muscle tone, but he’s googled how to maximize what little athleticism he has to make it happen for you! ;) .. Yeah, your geek-girlfriend looks like a stick figure in her flannel shirt & non-fitting jeans, but her body’s actually BANGIN’, and WATCH OUT if you get her on the dance floor! :D Fortunately, nobody knows these things but YOU, so you can divert all energies from turf-defense and devote them all to enjoying your personal diamond in the rough! ;)

L: Yeah, skinny guys are hot. And if you ever get in a fight with them, you know that you can easily take them… With one arm!… The only problem is that you may want to solicit some extra help on moving day.

Lindz: LindseyChen.com | twitter.com/LindseyChen
Bill: BillCammack.com | twitter.com/BillCammack

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