Appreciating your girlfriend is one of the best things you can do to keep your relationship fresh, interesting, and exciting. :D

All too often, we completely ignore or just plain fail to acknowledge “the little things” that our gals do for us that make our lives so much better.

Sure.. We make sure she “gets hers”, but other than that, what are we really doing for the special women in our lives? o_O

How about next time she cooks you that fantastic meal, which she also planned out and shopped for during her free time after she finished working all day, you pick up a sponge and gladly do the family dishes?

How about next time you pass that store, and see a pair of jeans on display that will make your girl look particularly fat-assed and delectable, you roll right in there and buy them for her?

billcammack.com/2008/06/26/how-to-dress-your-girlfriend/

Photo Credit: six4eleven.com

How about next time, instead of inviting her to come see Conan The Barbarian with you in the theater, you ask her which boring-ass chick flick you can suffer through for her sole benefit?

How about next time SHE wants to go out with her girlfriends, you don’t call the act of staying at home with your own biological child you had with her “babysitting”?

How about next time, instead of falling dead asleep after the fact, you take one for the team and force yourself to cuddle with her?

Yes.. I realize that you’re only dating her for sex and entertainment, but there’s so much more you can do to make her experience exciting and worthwhile in the meantime.

Turn your brain off. Think to yourself “If I were a chick, what would I want to do right now? o_O” and then go with the flow.

Go shopping with her at the mall. Just make sure you don’t end up on the bench with the Health-Tex-Wearing husbands whose wives have dressed them up as little kids to ensure that they never get sex from a female other than them ever again in life.

Take that walk with her through Central Park when you’d rather watch that football game that’s more important to you than she is right now.

Go antique-shopping with her when you don’t give a flying **** about old-ass furniture.

Take her out for that lavish Italian meal instead of taking her on dates to the gym so she can work out and stay in the type of shape you enjoy.

Spend the day with her at her Grandmother’s house with the rest of her family in attendence, playing it off like you’re not hooking up with her every hour that you’re physically awake…

Pretending that you’re not hooking up with your girlfriend, *NOT* pretending that you’re not hooking up with her Grandmother…

I mean.. If you *ARE* hooking up with her Grandmother, you want to play that off too, but, um….

Anyway… It’ll all be worth it. I guarantee you. The happier you make her, the happier she’ll make you.

So, Fellaz!!!… Pick up that sponge and grin your way into a fantastic and ultimately fulfilling relationship! >:D
–
Connect with Bill on Google+ | Facebook | Twitter | Email Subscription | RSS Feed

Related Posts

• Safe Sex Tutorial (Big Willie Pockets)
• How To Compliment A Woman
• What if she could hear what you’re thinking?
• Buying Women
• How To Deny Allegations

ok.. So I’m watching one of my new favorite shows, Millionaire Matchmaker, and this dude that has a mohawk haircut in the year 2010 and two earrings is describing one of the millionaires that’s going to be on the show this week and he goes “He is basically a misogynist”.

So when I hear that, I’m now prepared to listen to evidence of how this guy hates women….. because that’s what misogyny is.

Webster’s – “Definition of MISOGYNY : a hatred of women”

That’s it. That’s all it says.

So then the dude continues by saying “He thinks every woman loves him and should serve him”. And I’m like “Where’s the part about him hating women?”

Then, the guy being accused of being a misogynist digs the hole amazingly deeper for himself with his own videotape that he sent in to Patti to be considered for her show or dating services or whatever. He goes “There’s $2 hoes and then there’s $20 hoes… When I first meet a woman, I wanna… I wanna feel like she’s a $2 ho”, laughs heartily at his own joke and then adds “Asian women are great, I mean they know who’s the boss… The truth is, I’m looking for a petite girl, right, you know?.. Not a size 2 or a size 4, but a size 0.”

Now, I’m not going to bother getting into the myriad reasons why you first of all don’t want to say stuff like that to a chick to begin with and you CERTAINLY don’t want to say stuff like that to a gal that’s supposed to HOOK YOU UP with a chick, because this post would be like 8x longer. The reason I bring it up is that even though this guy isn’t the sharpest pencil in the box when it comes to meeting girls, nothing that he said indicates that he HATES women, which is what misogyny is.

So I thought my suffering was over, but then Patti threw the word around at least four more times during the show, describing this guy. It then became clear to me that ‘misogyny’ is one of those words that’s been co-opted to mean something it actually doesn’t mean and this has been accepted by a lot of people and disseminated as truth.

Evolution Of A Label

I figured this was a new development. It isn’t. Wikipedia sheds light on this situation for us: (I’ve added the bold font to the parts that are relevant to this discussion)

In the late 20th century, feminist theorists alleged that misogyny is both a cause and result of patriarchal social structures.

Traditional feminist theorists paint many different attitudes as misogyny. According to feminists, in its most overt expression, a misogynist will openly hate all women simply because they are female.

In feminist theory, other forms of misogyny may be less overt. Some alleged misogynists may simply be prejudiced against all women, or may hate women who do not fall into one or more acceptable categories. Subscribers to one model claim that some misogynists think in terms of the mother/whore dichotomy, where they hold that women can only be “mothers” or “whores.” Another variant model is the one alleging that certain men think in terms of a virgin/whore dichotomy, in which women who do not adhere to an Abrahamic standard of moral purity are considered “whores”.

The term misogynist is frequently used in a looser sense as a term of derision to describe anyone who holds a distasteful view about women as a group. Therefore, someone like Schopenhauer who proposes naturalistic reasons for various behaviors common to women is often regarded as a misogynist. As another, particularly striking example, man who is considered by many including himself to be “a great lover of women,” is often regarded as being misogynist. Examples of this type of man would be Giacomo Casanova and Don Juan, who were both reputed for their many libertine affairs with women.

In feminist theory, misogyny is a negative attitude towards women as a group, and so need not fully determine a misogynist’s attitude towards each individual woman. The fact that someone holds misogynist views may not prevent him or her from having positive relationships with some women.

Conversely, simply having negative relationships with some women does not necessarily mean someone holds misogynistic views. The term, like most negative descriptions of attitudes, is used as an epithet and applied to a wide variety of behaviors and attitudes – often as a personal attack.

So now I understand how people played the telephone game (A children’s game where you sit in a circle and one person whispers something in the next person’s ear. That person whispers what they THOUGHT they heard into the next person’s ear and by the time it comes around to the last person and they say the sentence, it’s often drastically different from what the original person said) with this word to the point where, today, anybody that has anything less-than-flowery-and-flattering to say to or about women is likely to be silently (or, in this case, vocally) be labeled a misogynist.

Fumble At The Goal Line

What you can say about this guy is that he has a specific kind of girl he likes and he has a specific purpose for wanting to meet girls. Nothing he said (according to the edit of the show) indicated that he hated or even disliked women. Even saying that Asian women know who’s the boss is merely his admission that he believes that particular stereotype.. It’s not hatred.

In fact, when I saw what he sent Patti for his audition, I thought he was playing it up for the cameras so that he’d be such a sad sack that she’d be DYING to a) take his money, b) set him up with a hawt chick, and c) put him on television, where the REAL potential for pulling chicks is.

That impression went down the tubes when they showed what happened on his date. :D

For some reason, Patti decided to have each potential date make a drink for their millionaire. The chick he ended up selecting made a really stupid move and tried to mix vodka with tabasco sauce. I thought he was going to let that slide, but while they were out on their date, it came up in conversation and she asked him what he thought about it, to which he replied “I actually was thinking, kind of, ‘Bimbo’ :D”.

Of course, chick tightened up like a DRUM and his chances of getting on plummeted. At that point, I was like “ok.. This guy honestly either doesn’t know or doesn’t care about what he’s doing when he kicks it to chicks”.

First of all, I had to look up the word “” because I’m pretty sure people stopped using that word sometime around 1920 AD, just in time for the prohibition era. Turns out that it means “A woman who is physically attractive but has a low intelligence or poor education”. That’s bad enough, but I read that it can ALSO be used to mean “a woman who acts in a sexually promiscuous manner”. You’ll notice how neither of those terms are related, but the same word is used to describe both situations, which is precisely what I’m talking about in this article.

So, in 2010-speak, he said either “When I saw you mix vodka with tabasco sauce, I thought that even though you’re physically attractive, you are either of low intelligence, poor education, or both”, or “When I saw you mix vodka with tabasco sauce, I thought that it wouldn’t be too difficult to get you to have sex with me”. Either statement amounts to WOMP-WOMP-WOMP-WAAAAAAAAH, the traditional sound that you hear when someone loses on a game show.

Make Sense, Not Love

During the show, Patti brought in this female relationship expert / sex therapist who said blah blah blah and then the dude goes “I appreciate your, your comments and your ideas and, you know.. It’s hard for me to really relate to all this female, like, you know.. hocus-pocus, psychological stuff, but, uh.. You know.. I’m willing to listen. :)”

I’m sure that THAT was seen as a misogynistic statement as well, haha but all he was basically saying was that he doesn’t subscribe to OR believe in illogical concepts such as “If you meet a chick that’s a 7 (in looks), if you get to know her and fall in love with her, she’ll look like a 10 to you”. That stuff just doesn’t make any sense. :)

With guys, its’ not like the gal looks better, but rather that we’re willing to let her slide for her lack of looks and hook up with her anyway (or date her or marry her or whatever). The dude knows damned well that his girlfriend’s a 3, except during the times when he’s sporting his Beer Goggles, in which case, she looks like Paula Abdul:

Rocks in Boxes

I guess my point is that a distinction needs to be made between people that actually hate women and guys that are willing to go out with (Edited after Nik’s comment) specifically seek out and ONLY agree to date women that are attractive and have nice bodies, even if they have zero earning potential and happen to be dumb as a box of rocks.

Especially if you’re a millionaire, who gives a flying **** whether she has a job or not.. or can count to 10 for that matter? It just doesn’t matter, so long as she looks good and you enjoy spending time with her. That’s not a statement of hatred. That’s a statement of fact. If a gal has a million dollars and I have five dollars, what do we have together? o_O .. That’s right. $1,000,005 USD. My amount of contribution is approximately NOTHING when it comes to money.. not even the proverbial drop in the bucket.

By calling guys who see women in a different light than you do “misogynists”, you’re doing yourself a disservice. For example.. If you’re a female and your boss likes chicks with nice asses and you deserve a promotion, you might GET that promotion, whether your ass is nice or not. If, OTOH, your boss is an actual misogynist, you’re probably not getting that well-deserved promotion and you’re lucky that he had to hire you at all because of quotas or whatever.

A guy who likes attractive girls will probably walk you home after an event if it isn’t far out of his way. A misogynist probably will not, because who cares whether you get home or not? o_O

It just doesn’t do any good to add different meanings to words or terms that already have meanings. Look at “Bimbo”. Dude might have thought he was playfully calling her silly and she might have interpreted it as him blatantly calling her a slut to her face. \o/ Do everyone a favor and make up and disseminate new words to go with new concepts.

Does this mean that just because dude is most definitely NOT a misogynist that women are going to want to date him? No. Not actually. :D I’m just sayin’.. If you know any petite, size 0, hawt-looking Asian women who know who’s the boss, let ‘em know there’s a millionaire available! ;)
–
Connect with Bill via Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, MySpace, Email Subscription, RSS

Related Posts

• Men Buy Sex
• Asking Women Out On Dates
• You’re Still Not Me
• He’s Lying To You [The Okey-Doke, Part 02]
• Shocking Dating Advice!

I don’t talk about myself much in my blog posts because most people would neither believe nor understand what I had to say.

Meanwhile, lots of people that actually know me as a person and have hung out with me in the trenches have seen The Kid in action, anywhere from hooking up with chicks that they know damned well I only became aware of for the first time in life a couple of hours before, all the way to making out with bona fide butch-type lesbians.

There’s no reason for me to make stuff like this up, yet there’s no reason for me to talk about it either, because it’s regular life for me and something you’d see in a movie and ask “How the hell do they come up with these outlandish fantasies? \o/”

Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve become aware of a couple of things.. #1 is that there actually IS a segment of society that would benefit from my discussing one or more of my personal issues and #2 is that I’m being misinterpreted as a person because I haven’t made certain things clear and people are reading my blog posts from the perspective that I’m an Average Joe… As a person, I don’t really care what perspective anyone reads my blog from, but as an author, I feel this does the readers a clear disservice.

So.. Not because I think anyone gives a damn about what goes on with me personally, but because I now believe there are people that might learn something from this, I’m gonna talk about some stuff.

Discrete (as well as Discreet) Relationships

Last year, I wrote “Normal Relationships & Labels” to talk about how I used to describe myself as polyamorous in an attempt to get women to understand where I was coming from, but I had to reject that label when I realized it had been co-opted to mean “In a relationship with several people” as opposed to it’s LITERAL. BREAK-DOWN, which is that Poly = Many and Amor = Love.

To put it very simply.. My relationship to one person has nothing to do with my relationship to another person. It’s a bunch of individual relationships and they’re as important or unimportant as our natural interactions dictate. The concept of “I have less of a relationship to this gal because I have more of a relationship to that one” is completely foreign to me. It doesn’t register. It doesn’t make any natural sense.

Not having explained this sufficiently to readers, they understandably attempt to place me in the box of “Player”. I’m most definitely not a Player. I’m living my natural life, receiving love from women and returning it to them. My series entitled “Hunters” isn’t so much about being a Player as it is about knowing what the surrounding dating environment is and thriving in it. Swimming with the sharks, if you will.

Reality

When I say I don’t believe in labels, people (again, understandably) believe that I’m saying I’m anti-relationship. In fact, I’m ALL ABOUT relationships.. It’s just that the real relationships are natural interactions between people, not agreements they make with each other.

A couple of good friends of mine just got married to each other. Does it mean anything to me that they got married? No. Is that because I’m anti-relationships? No. It’s because I. Always. Considered. Them. As. *TOGETHER*.

There was never a time that I was around either one of my friends that I wasn’t PERFECTLY CLEAR the he was devoted to her and that she was devoted to him. It’s obvious. Their getting married was a foregone conclusion.. Entirely anti-climactic in my eyes. There was nothing “temporary” about their relationship. They were together, they loved each other, they were committed to each other. That’s what counts.. Not a piece of paper. I always considered them a unit. I always considered her as his wife.

Same thing with a cousin of mine. I had spoken to him about his girlfriend at the time and I was clear that he was ALL ABOUT *HER*. I was fortunate enough to spend some time with her and I could feel that she was ALL ABOUT *HIM*. That was all I needed to know. I considered her as a unit with my cousin from that day on. I considered her my family from that day on. Their getting married was a foregone conclusion. They were devoted to each other way before any ceremonies took place and that’s what really counts in life.. Not a piece of paper.

So, Yes.. I’m ALL about relationships, except I’m about REAL relationships, which are actually interpersonal interactions between individuals, not titles like girlfriend, fiancee and wife.

Labels Dictating Importance

I recently took a hit to my roster as my Best Girlfriend moved out of town. She doesn’t consider herself a girlfriend of mine even though I’ve been with her through several boyfriends. They’re all gone and I’m still here. If you can’t recognize that as a relationship, \o/

Unfortunately, that’s the box that The Game is played in. If I don’t act like I want to marry you someday, you give these clown-ass dudes that play the game, tell you they’re in a committed relationship to you, fuck you and then *BOUNCE* more credit than you give me for being consistent towards you for years on end, regardless of who you’re currently hooking up with.

I realize that that sounds bitter. hahaha It’s really not. It’s my life. I’m used to it. Women are brainwashed from when they’re babies to see certain things as a viable relationship and other things as garbage. If I were bitter, I’d sell women the dream of being exclusively with The Kid until I was finished with them and then dump them like everybody else does.

I had another unbelievable-to-you situation occur where I was making out with this one chick and she walked away for some reason I can’t remember and then I turned around and told these other two chicks that had just finished witnessing the action that I loved both of them.

Of course they thought I was gaming them. I wasn’t. I was telling them the honest truth about how they inspire me to feel about them. I still love them. I love all my girlfriends.. while simultaneously hating the term “girlfriend” because I don’t have a better term to use to describe my relationship to them that I cherish and consider important in my personal life.

Unfortunately, “He doesn’t love me because he kissed her” is part of the brainwashing game that’s never going to go away. It has to be accepted that without claiming commitment to a chick, you’re going to be low-rated and treated as a second-class citizen WRT the rest of her suitors who are playing the game according to the established rules.

I also still love my exes. Just because the romantic segment of our relationships ended doesn’t mean I think anything less of them as people or women. I love and appreciate the times we shared together and probably always will.

Empathy

The point is that contrary to popular belief, I don’t have to become “out of love” with one woman to be “in love” with another one. That’s just how it goes. If that doesn’t mesh with your understanding of life, I get that, but \o/

One of the reasons I wanted to talk about this is that several unexpected recent circumstances have caused me to focus on the fact that I’m an Empath:

2 : the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner; also : the capacity for this

Whether you believe in this ability or not, I can feel how you feel. I can also feel the difference between how you feel about me NOW compared to how you used to feel about me.

This is extremely useful to me when I’m socializing because I can feel when you’re genuinely interested in interacting with me. I can feel when you’re being socially polite by interacting. I can feel when you wish you weren’t interacting. I can feel when you’re glad to see me. I can feel when you wish I hadn’t shown up to the party. I can feel when you’re considering hooking up with me. I can feel when you think I’m a creep. I can feel when your focus moves from me to another guy. I can feel when you’re in the presence of someone you haven’t yet announced is your significant other. I can feel when you’re scheming to be negatively aggressive towards me. I can feel when you’re just naturally relaxing and enjoying yourself and whatever’s clever >:D …

What I hadn’t considered until yesterday or the day before is that empathy isn’t merely a defensive shield that informs me of situations and helps me make effective decisions, but it’s actually offensive as well, paving the way for my natural human interactions with people.

For instance.. We have a lot of tourists here in NYC. Every so often, and obviously friendly, well-meaning and LOST couple will walk over to me and ask how they can get to Lincoln Center or Central Park or The World Trade Center. When that happens, I do my best to give them the fastest and/or easiest route for them to get where they want to go from where they currently are. That’s a natural feeling for me. I don’t have to think about it. I don’t DECIDE whether to help them or not. It’s the only thing that makes sense. I naturally want them to enjoy their stay here and get where they’re going in time to enjoy as much of it as they can.

Similarly, if I meet a new gal that seems to be about sharing good times with me, I’m going to add her to the roster. Her position in the hierarchy will be determined by how well we naturally mesh, not how long I’ve known her. My interactions are determined by whatever it is that each gal’s bringing to the table and what I happen to be in the mood for that day.

Players

Of course, this is interpreted as “playing the field” or “being non-committal” while people attempt to place me in boxes that they personally understand.

I have no fewer than THREE parties to attend today. If I end up attending all of them like I plan to, I’m gonna be in the trenches for at least NINE HOURS! :O

I may end up enhancing relationships to women I already know. I may end up meeting women today that will be very important to me going forward.

I’ve already stacked the deck so at least two of my homegirls will be accompanying me to today’s social engagements. I have no idea what my social life’s going to look like tomorrow, compared to what it looks like right now.

This is not being a Player. This is experiencing the ebb & flow of life as it occurs to me. Business-wise, I’m a freelance video editor. As such, I don’t restrict myself to only one client and reject all other inquiries because I already have a client. If I told you that that was my business plan, to reject viable business proposals for no reason other than I already had a proposal, you’d say I was either crazy or stupid. The same logic applies to women that enjoy my company. Why in the hell shouldn’t I flow with my natural inclination to return to them what they’re offering to me? O_o

Who Do You Love?

So.. I’m anti-label because labels don’t mean anything at all and have no effect whatsoever on the natural interactions between people. If you take two people that are NOT down for each other and call them girlfriend & boyfriend or fiance & fiancee or husband and wife, you *STILL* have two people that are NOT down for each other. Nothing’s different at all. Meanwhile.. If you take two people that *ARE* down for each other and you DON’T give them titles, that doesn’t diminish their relationship one iota.

Coming to care about one person more and want the best things in life for them doesn’t dictate that you have to care about anyone else any less. Life & Love is not a Zero-Sum Game

In game theory and economic theory, zero-sum describes a situation in which a participant’s gain or loss is exactly balanced by the losses or gains of the other participant(s). If the total gains of the participants are added up, and the total losses are subtracted, they will sum to zero.

If it were.. You’d have to make choices on who you loved and who you didn’t, because you’d only be allowed to love one person at any given point in time.

Do you love your mother or your father? You can only select one.
Do you love your daughter or your son? You can only seclect one.
Do you love your grandmother or your mother? You can only select one.

See how RETARDED that is?… Welcome to My World…

Related Posts

• Asking Women Out On Dates
• You’re Still Not Me
• He’s Lying To You [The Okey-Doke, Part 02]
• Who Is Bob?
• Makeup [The Okey-Doke, Part 01]

So they finally released the movie “Twilight” on cable, so I was able to check it out and see what all the hubbub was about.

Vampire shows have been all the rage recently. HBO has a series called True Blood that’s really popular and pretty much anything dealing with vampires is going to get run these days.

I’ve been wondering for quite a while why chicks have been falling all over themselves over “Twilight”. I figured a vampire movie is a vampire movie is a vampire movie. *yawn*

Having watched it now, I get it completely. The screenplay was very well written to fit the brainwashing of American females if not females all over the world.

I’m not saying the movie was interesting or good or unpredictable, haha.. I’m just saying that I understand why it’s a phenomenon because it hits the points that girls are trained to look for when they fantasize about being involved in a romantic relationship with a guy.

*** SPOILER ALERT *** If you still haven’t seen this movie, which was released over a year ago or you happen to be Keith Bevans, do not read the rest of this post! :D

Bella

Bella is the main character. The movie’s seen through her eyes. This is automatically going to be of interest to females, because most films are seen through guys’ eyes.

She doesn’t live in a big city. She transfers to a new school, which means she starts off with ZERO props. She has no friends. She’s a loner.

She’s cute enough for the sticks, but she’d be nothing to write home about in New York City. This is also endearing to females, because most of them fit into this category.

You don’t want your protagonist to be “too attractive” or else the audience will disconnect. Of course Brad Pitt dumped Jennifer Anniston for Angelina Jolie. That’s what’s supposed to happen, because Angelina > Jennifer. You want the audience to feel like they’re immersed in a story that could actually happen to THEM in THEIR lives.

So Bella’s set up as a character that’s worthy of love but just doesn’t have any. Her parents are separated. Her father lives alone. Her mother has a new man and enjoys traveling with him. Basically, Bella has nothing at all in her life, emotionally.

Edward

Edward is seen as a “catch” in the town Bella moves to. He’s one of the elite, although the movie doesn’t establish WHY he’s considered elite. I can only assume it’s because they imply that he’s physically attractive and mentally a renegade.

I grew up with “elite” people in my elementary school. I understand the draw, even though “Twilight” skipped over the character development explaining these people.

When I was 13 years old, I knew other 13-year-olds that got $150 a week in “allowance” (The money your parents give you to live and have fun on for no particular reason). At the time, my allowance was $20/week and a lot of my friends (who had JOBS by the time they were 13 or just stayed broke) considered me rich because of that.

I knew 13-year-old “elites” that would throw wild parties and raid their parents’ liquor cabinets and be the talk of the school, come Monday. I also knew 16-year-old elite females that dropped out of school to have kids, most likely due to some of those same parties.

So I understand the concept of “the table of cool kids” and how fascinating they are, just because they’re living lives that the rest of us aren’t living. One thing the movie never addresses is that Edward doesn’t age past 17, even though he became a vampire in ~1918, and nobody seems to notice.

So Edward seems to be rich, cool, has his own car, his parents pull him out of school whenever it’s a really nice day and the faculty never complains (= his family has juice), so it would appear that he could choose whatever female(s) he wants and they’d be glad to get down with the program.

Perfect Dynamic

This sets up the perfect dynamic between Edward & Bella that she’s not supposed to be able to pull a guy as good as him and he’s not supposed to settle for a girl as mediocre as she is.

This is the format for the American female dream. Self-Validation through being selected by an elite male for her unique qualities. Without the male being elite, it’s not worth anything because “who cares?”. If the female had been stunning and all guys were chasing her, it wouldn’t have been worth anything because the average American female wouldn’t feel like the film was about *her*. This is a modern reenactment of John Hughes movies about the mechanic chick getting the guy that’s chasing beauty queens, except instead of it happening within the last five seconds of the movie before the credits, it happens towards the beginning of the film.

The basis, as usual, is the concept of “Love”. The way Love is sold to women is that it’s some supernatural occurrence that has no realistic explanation. The more of an explanation there is for it, the less valid it is. This is why you don’t get any credit for telling a gal she has a nice ass. She attributes your statement to LUST, which is low-rated when compared to LOVE, which is something you’re supposed to feel….. um… because you feel it and you can’t explain it. Lusting after her doesn’t make her feel unique, because you like a lot of chicks’ asses. If you’re “In love with her”, that means that she’s the only one that inspires you to feel a certain way and then it’s Game On!

Unfortunately for my ‘discovery’ of this film, I was aware ahead of time that Edward was a vampire and Bella was Human. As an editor, I’m going to be aware of this fact the entire time, because I would have been in charge of being aware of character development & continuity if I had edited this film myself. For this reason, when Bella walks into the class and passes in front of the fan and Edward covers his nose, I immediately considered that he was avoiding her because he considered her a tasty morsel, not because he was repulsed by her, as Bella assumed.

Natually, this gimmick was revisited during the baseball game scene when Edward tells Bella to put her hair down and then the breeze blows through it, sending her Human scent to James, the hunter vampire. This was another plot flaw, BTW, because the vampire female on Edward’s team had said she could smell Bella from across the field, yet James was standing right in front of her and didn’t detect her as Human until the wind blew past her in his direction.

American Dream

I realized how well this screenplay was written and why the phenomenon has become so huge during the car scene after Edward rescues Bella from a pending gangbang and is driving her away from the scene. Bella and Edward reach for the radio at the same time, and Bella goes “Your hand is so cold! :O”. This was my “AHA!” moment because this scene occurred maybe halfway through the entire movie. Edward had already saved her life from getting crushed by a van, hung out with her lots of times and now arrived out of nowhere to save her from four guys that were planning to tag up, and she had NEVER. TOUCHED. HIS. SKIN. BEFORE!!! O_o

This, my friends, is the American female dream… Something For Nothing. This guy was hanging out with her, courting her and protecting her and he had never even held her hand before. Never kissed her before. Never ****** her before. Nothing. There’s no explanation why he’s compelled to do things for her, which validates her as an unique female… a CUAO. From then on, I watched the physical interaction (or lack thereof) between Edward & Bella and realized how masterfully the sexual tension was built into this book which was adapted into a screenplay.

Kool-Aid

For some reason, Edward’s crew of vampires has sworn off eating people, although it’s natural to them. When Edward first smells Bella, he’s like “LUNCHTIME!!! :D” but he fights off his natural urges and disappears from school for a few days until he calms down. Meanwhile, Bella’s been experiencing some kind of inexplicable attraction to Edward which is of course attributed to “love”. Edward, then, for no apparent reason, saves Bella’s life, making her even more enthralled by the concept of being with him. When she finds out he’s a vampire, she declares that she doesn’t care and that she’s not afraid of him. Logically, she’s willing to risk her life to be with him being that she would have been dead already if he hadn’t saved her from being crushed, however, of course, this is utilized as another demonstration of how deep her LOVE is for Edward.

The real hook to this movie is the fact that Edward can’t physically interact with Bella for fear of losing control and killing her. He decides to make out with her one time and has to retreat from that situation. This is like Female Final Fantasy.. that a guy wants them so badly that it hurts, but at the same time, he’s not willing to pull the trigger. Brilliant! :D BRAVO!!! :D Excellent Writing! :D I wish I would have thought up “Vampires that restrain themselves from eating Humans” myself.

Edward fights for and protects Bella, declaring her his entire life, and he hasn’t even hit it yet. What girl isn’t gonna drop her drawers for *THAT*? :D He goes against his family, goes against the entire town, goes against regular vampires, faces off against wolves, *AND* even goes against his own natural urges to KILL BELLA because he’s in love with her.

On top of all that, he can read EVERYONE’S mind, except for hers. The new-girl outcast loner is SO unique and important! Of course chicks are gonna drink the Kool-Aid straight with no chaser, wipe their lips and ask you to pass them some more! :D

Be Edward

The obvious moral of this story for the fellaz is to BE EDWARD!!! :D

Some gals you can pull by telling them what you WILL do for them. Others, you can pull by telling them what you WON’T do. ;) Be the Alpha. Make her feel unique. Tell her what you want from her…….. and then tell her why you can’t or won’t pull the trigger. Sweetness! hehe Leave her wondering how it WOULD HAVE BEEN if she had hooked up with you.

A lot of chicks won’t give it up simply because they know you want it. It’s this weirdo mentality where they like to make themselves feel special or perhaps powerful by denying or defying you. I know you know what I’m talking about.. Everything’s going in the right direction, and all of a sudden, they’re backing away from you or they start playing games. The counter to this dumb way of being is to tell them what you’re NOT going to do so they attempt to defy you by making you do it.

You see this throughout the movie. Edward tells Bella he’s a killer, her response is that she’s not afraid of him. Edward seems to be repulsed by her when he has to sit next to her in class, she wants to confront him about that. Edward tells her he’s not going to tell her about himself, she insists. Edward tells her he’s not going to turn her into a vampire, she tells him she wants to live with him forever.

So.. If nothing in your usual repertoire’s working, flip the script. Be That Guy. Make her the star of your movie. Break out your “Something for Nothing” game. Let her know that you’re her American Dream.. just don’t give it to her… Just let the tension build and see what happens ;)

Related Posts

• “Game Change” Review [Part 01 of 02]
• Appreciate Your Girlfriend
• Bros Before Hoes (Guy Code)
• Misogyny, Co-Opted
• Team Selection [Hunters, Part 12]

I’m not a fan of labeling relationships because the label doesn’t indicate or describe the functionality of the relationship. Similarly, the LACK of a label doesn’t indicate a lack of functionality between individuals. Therefore, the label itself is almost entirely useless.

I was watching this movie the other day, and this guy’s trying to get to know this new chick. He explains something about himself to her and she says “Oh.. You’re one of those [X] guys”. His response is “I don’t really, uh, subscribe to any label”.

When I heard that, I realized that that’s what I should have been saying all along. I mean, I’ve BEEN saying that forever, but I haven’t stressed it enough, since I’ve been attempting to inform the average Joe/Josephine about what my life is like. It’s just not as easy as I thought it would be. Things that make perfect sense to me don’t make sense to other people. Things that work for me don’t work for other people. I’ve attempted to explain something that I’ve now decided I just can’t explain. I just have to be thankful for the situation and keep it movin’. :D

Labels

Labels are only as relevant as the people that are willing to adhere to them.. meaning that basically, they’re completely useless.

Let’s examine the term “Girlfriend”, which, to me, means “The chick you’re most likely to have sex with today”. What does that term define, really? What does it rule IN, and what does it rule OUT? Nothing.

Every single day, you can read about guys that are really nice to their girlfriends and guys that are really horrible towards them. That means that the label “Girlfriend” doesn’t come automatically equipped with decent behavior from the boyfriend. What’s THAT worth? There are guys that are faithful to their girlfriends and guys that have several girlfriends at the same time.. The point being that applying a label to a situation doesn’t have any bearing on what actually happens between those two (or more) people.

Polyamory

In my attempt to describe my non-average life to the average person, I’ve described myself as polyamorous in the past. At this point, I realize that the term has been co-opted to stand for a particular segment of society that engages in regular “relationships” with multiple people, simultaneously. That’s completely not what I meant or subscribe to. It’s kind of like how the original Punk Rockers played, loved and listened to Punk Rock because that’s how they felt and how they lived. Eventually, people started loving what the originals loved and produced and started emulating their heroes, especially dressing like them. Next thing you know, anyone who dresses the same way is considered a Punk Rocker, regardless of whether they ROCK or not. :/ Anyone who styles their hair a certain way is considered “Emo”. It’s a haircut, people.. a haircut. It’s absolutely meaningless.

The strict breakdown of the term Polyamory is from Greek πολυ [poly, meaning many or several] and Latin amor [love]. All it actually means is to love many people. Period. Unfortunately, somehow, “relationships” became equated with loving someone, which is absolutely retarded. There are lots of people in relationships that don’t love each other and lots of people that love each other that aren’t in relationships with each other. Love is a feeling. Some would argue that it’s a chemical reaction. You feel it or you don’t. You feel it for nobody, one person or many people. You feel it for one person at a time or many people simultaneously.

So, this very basic and understandable term has been co-opted to mean people that are in several simultaneous open relationships. I realized this when I saw a show about it recently. This chick was dating this chick that was dating a dude. In order to explain this mess, I’ll label the original couple [A]. Chick[A] was dating Dude[A] and then Chick[A] started dating Chick[B]. Meanwhile, Chick[B] was NOT dating Dude[A], so it looked like this:

     Chick[B]<->Chick[A]<->Dude[A]

What woke me up was when Chick[B] decided that she wanted to go out with Dude[B]. Instead of doing what she wanted to do, because it’s her life.. she decided to consult with Chick[A] as far as WHAT. SHE. THOUGHT. about Chick[B] potentially dating Dude[B]. This is when I did at least a triple-take and was like “um.. This is retarded. How are you going to ASK anyone that’s not your parents whether you can go out with someone you like or not?”. This is in fact LESS FREE than a regular “relationship”, because NOW, you have not ONE but TWO people that might veto your involvement with someone that you’re naturally attracted to.

Cost of Living

Unfortunately, this is the price you have to pay to be involved in so-called “deviant lifestyles”. The pool of people that you’re sexually compatible with is a rather small subset of the general population. Your choices are to get down with whatever rules the other person lays down for being involved with them or not to be involved with them at all. They know what they want and what they don’t. If you can’t get down with the program, you’re useless to them anyway, so there’s no point in being involved with you past friendship.. IF that.

So Chick[B] had a sit-down with Chick[A] and basically asked her permission to go out on a date with Dude[B]. Chick[A] looked actually hurt about it. I suppose some people like to feel like they’re so special that they can have multiple GFs/BFs and all of their SOs are only interested in them. haha Right! :D .. So Chick[A] sanctioned the date between Chick[B] and Dude[B] *IF* Dude[B] was brought to the crib to meet Chick[A] before the date! HAHAHAHA Incredible.

Anyway, you get the picture. This situation was a complete mess. It’s indicative, however, of what labels get you. Once you subscribe to a label, people treat you as if that label means something, when it actually means nothing. In actual fact, Chick[B] could have dated or messed with Dude[B] anytime she wanted to, and it’s none of Chick[A]‘s business at all. The only reason any of this happened is that Chick[B] bought into Chick[A]‘s game of “I own several people”, when in fact, Chick[A] owns ZERO people… Lincoln freed the slaves.

Viewing the situation from Chick[A]‘s point of view, you only have as much power as other people give you. If someone decides to opt-out of your lifestyle, you’re short. There’s nothing you can do about it. They’re just not interested, so you’re left with your remaining roster of GFs/BFs. That’s the way it works.. People come and go. Society in general subscribes to “one guy, one girl”. If that’s not what you’re offering, it’s a tough row to hoe. It’s not for the faint of heart. Some people catch feelings about stuff like this, which I think is really funny/pathetic. It’s all in the game. If you’re not offering what someone’s brainwashed to want for themselves, they’re going to eventually select someone that’s at least willing to CLAIM to want to be involved in the type of relationship they’re looking for.

Reality

I don’t know what happened in that situation because it was too boring to continue watching. I figure that at some point, Chick[B] would have figured out that it’s her life and it’s the only one she’s ever going to have, so she may as well do what she wants to do when she wants to do it. It’s not going to serve her in the future if she declines to mess with Dude[B] because Chick[A] caught feelin’s about it.

The fact of the matter is that people like what they like, feel what they feel and do what they do. It’s really not any more complicated than that. There’s no label that can actually describe one person’s relationship to another person. Every relationship is unique because it involves two unique individuals. Regardless of whether someone dresses like a Punk Rock or cuts their hair in an Emo style, you can’t expect them to act or react in an uniform fashion with everyone else that tries to look or act like them.

Unfortunately, without the trial & error of becoming intimately involved with A LOT OF PEOPLE, this ‘trend of uniqueness’ isn’t going to be apparent. According to the media, there are NORMAL PEOPLE and then everyone else. As long as you subscribe to what they’re telling you everyone else subscribes to, you’re seen as NORMAL as well, and you get to stay in the game. Once you deviate from that, people start murmuring on the back-channel unless you’re a celebrity, in which case they murmur in the tabloids.

Do you like to screw chicks other than your wife? Well then.. You’re a sex addict, aren’t you? :D .. Of course you are. You should be in rehab.

Did you “cheat” on a chick that’s considered one of the most beautiful and sought-after women in the world? There must be something WRONG with you, then! :D Make sure your publicist apologizes for you and get better at doing your ‘dirt’ on the sneaks.

Did you spend over $50,000 on prostitutes from just ONE madam? hahaha REHAB!!! You’re SICK! :D .. I hope you get to say “Hello” to the thousands upon thousands of guys that should be in rehab WITH YOU for spending thousands of dollars each year buying drinks for girls they’re not even guaranteed to have sex with! :D

Did you spend $4,000 hiring JUST ONE PROSTITUTE and importing her from one state to another, even though you’re known for busting up prostitution rings? :D ……

Do you like to figure out fancy things to do with cigars and female interns during telephone business meetings? :D … Which reminds me. I believe I’m going to need an intern soon.

I mean, seriously.. The list goes on forever and ever of people that got caught doing what they hid FROM YOU so that they could appear “normal”. Up until the time these people were found out, everybody was like “Oh! Look at the shining examples of upstanding citizens! :D”.. Immediately afterwards, everybody goes “Oh! They’re Not NORMAL!!! :O”. Actually, yes.. Yes, they ARE normal. They’re all doing what makes them happy. This is what people do.

They like to hide, because a) it’s none of your business, and b) they don’t feel like being talked down about in the tabloids, but you can’t stop the bum rush. They’re going to do what they want to do with whomever they want to do it because that’s what makes their life worth living. If you don’t like it, you can go take a long walk on a short plank. Hit the bricks. Kick Rocks.

“Rubber”.. Meet “Road”

For the most part, people are willing to overlook aspects of a relationship that they don’t like in order to receive the benefits of being with that particular person. This works well with the current system because people like to advertise the positive points of being with them and deemphasize if not completely OMIT the negative points. That’s all well and good until someone gets found out…

A chick might say that she’s completely down with giving a guy as much sex as he wants in order for him to be her boyfriend.. but omit the fact that she’s also willing to give it up to several guys in a bathroom stall while they videotape it, until the time she gets caught and needs to make up an excuse.

A politician might say he’s faithful to his wife, until the time he gets caught and then she has to do the Perp Walk with him while he pretends to act sorry for the cameras and read the statement that his publicist wrote about how badly he feels for his family and the people who elected him.

A guy might be lovey-dovey to his girlfriend, until the time she gets nosey in his business and he kicks her ass in a Lamborghini on Grammy night.

A chick might claim to be this 14-year-old boy’s teacher, until it turns out she’s also his girlfriend and she’s pregnant by him.

A guy might insist that he never had sex with That Woman, until his semen shows up on the dress she wore to work that day.

A married guy might go to jail for defrauding rich people, AND THEN a chick might write a book about how she’s been carrying on a 20-year affair with him behind his wife’s back… How come she didn’t write it BEFORE he became a pariah? :D

See what I mean? All these people have all the labels and none of them are worth JACK!.. NOTHING! Boyfriend, Girlfriend, Husband, Wife, Teacher, Student, Investor, Actor, Singer, Politician.. ALL completely useless when it comes to describing and/or defining the relationship between people. It all comes down to the character of the individuals involved.

This is why I don’t bother playing the label game with people. It’s meaningless and it’s a waste of my time and brain processing cycles.

I never ask people about their so-called “relationship status”, but I’ll listen if they feel like telling me about it. If they tell me about it, I accept it as a possibility, but not as truth. I’m totally disinterested in who people say they are and COMPLETELY INTERESTED in what they actually DO.

Also.. The examples I gave above are *only* the headlines that hit the papers / internet. This type of stuff goes on every. single. day. in average people’s lives and they sweep it under the rug so they can look “normal” to everyone else that’s putting up the exact same front.

Does this happen to everyone? Of course not. Does it happen to A LOT of people? Yup! Does it happen to a lot of people that DON’T KNOW it’s happening to them? Yup! :D

If you’re lucky, YOU’RE a nice person, you MEET a nice person that wants to be nice TO YOU and y’all live happily ever after. Sweet! More power to ya! :D

Hopefully, the other person’s idiosyncrasies stay under their hats.. If they happen to slip out, hopefully you can deal with them and still want to be in a relationship with them. If you’re really lucky, you’ll consider the revelations delightfully kinky and take your relationship in an entirely new direction! ;)

~ Bill Cammack

Related Posts

• Unequal Relationships
• The Dog Stays.. You Go.
• Appreciate Your Girlfriend
• That’s Your Man’s Problem
• How To Starting Dating Again