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Tags: Bill Cammack, manhattan, new york, NYC, Pizza, st mark's place Last week, I was discussing the dating scene in New York City with my friend Ilana Arazie does a fun and interesting video blog about dating called “Downtown Diaries”.
I realized after that conversation that I haven’t gone far enough in-depth with my “numbers” theory… about the difference that it makes for a guy to be surrounded by literally MILLIONS of women vs living in the sticks, where you don’t have a lot of women to begin with, they get married earlier, stay married and nobody wants to move there for business opportunities or visit there as a tourist. This exchange from a James Bond movie reminded me of the clarification that I wanted to make:
Now, I’m not comparing The Kid to James Bond AT.ALL, but I felt that line was pertinent because I’ve said stuff like “Women have no leverage in this town, because they’re expendable merely by available numbers”. Without context, that can appear to be a “use it and lose it”, “hit it and quit it” or “love ‘em & leave ‘em” type statement as opposed to an honest explanation of why tactics that work for women in other parts of the country don’t work here. The point I really wanted to make (except it’s so OBVIOUS to me that I couldn’t grasp it to express it in print) is that here in New York City, instead of trying to CHANGE A WOMAN, it’s much easier to CHANGE WOMEN. You think you should date for a bunch of weeks before messing with a guy and she’s down with it right now So that’s the problem for women in NYC. There’s no reason to barter with you. No reason to compromise with you. No reason to succumb to sexual embargo tactics. No reason to “escalate” any form of relationship with you. New York City attracts the top women in the world for career, business or tourism. You’re not surrounded by a bunch of lesser women, like if you were the valedictorian in the sticks. If your “relationship” hits an impasse, it’s easier to drop it and get a new chick than to “work it out”. Meanwhile, the exact same thing is going on for women with men. There are so many men in NYC that there’s no reason for a woman to commit to one that she doesn’t think is really GREAT for her. This naturally leads to women being single more often than they’re “in a relationship” because they’re busy being choosy. Even the ones who claim to be “seeing someone” are only in the stages of DECIDING whether they want to stay with that guy. Well… that, or she was LYING so you’d stop trying to get some from her. The reason this doesn’t work out evenly is that men and women don’t date evenly. Women like to date guys better than them, while guys like to date women they’re attracted to. When was the last time you heard a guy say “She’s really HOT, but she doesn’t make enough money for me to date her”? That’s right. Never. Meanwhile, the women who came to NYC to make moves and build careers and have “the finer things in life” are looking for guys on their level or better. How many male executives date secretaries levels below them? Like he’s the boss of the boss of HER boss? When was the last time you heard of a female executive “dating down”? That’s right. Never. If you do, it’s a big scandal hahaha Because there’s so much choice on both sides, women tend to have a lot of BRIEF relationships in NYC. Now they’re dating someone, now they’re single. Poof. Just like that. Every day, someone’s updating their Facebook status to single or “it’s complicated” or “in a relationship”. That means that every day, the playing field changes. Women that were formerly “unavailable” have now become available. Women that were previously “spoken for” are now free agents. This happens all the time. There’s no reason to believe that because a chick’s dating someone right now, they won’t be back in the dating population a few months from now. This is why New York City is the quintessential smorgasbord when it comes to women. There are more women of all different sizes, shapes, types, colors, backgrounds, religions, ideologies, whatever than a guy can possibly process in a single day… Meaning you meet women here faster than you can determine that the woman you met just before isn’t the best one for you. This has nothing to do with lack of discipline or morals and has everything to do with abundance of opportunity and selection. It has nothing to do with being greedy or wanting to try out every attractive woman in sight and has everything to do with the fact that as fantastic as a woman might be, there’s another woman on the next block or in the next neighborhood or office building that’s JUST AS FANTASTIC, but WITHOUT the character flaw that a guy would either have to live with or fix if he were dating the same woman in the sticks. Actually, the best advice I have for women trying to corral a guy in NYC is to make sure they’re dating someone that’s not FROM NYC. Are there a bunch of guys that see women as disposable pleasures? Sure. But that’s completely different from knowing a bunch of fantastic women and having no reason to choose between any of them. It looks the same, but the former is the state of being disconnected and a user while the latter is having highly-valued connections with worthwhile women and the self-awareness that the only way you would choose ONE of them… is if you were willing to trade in ALL the rest of them… ~Bill DatingGenius Category: billcammack.com/category/datinggenius Reader “Ford” left a comment on my “Women’s Guide to NYC Dating” and pointed out an interesting article by Jonathan Soma which talks about why there aren’t really 210,820 more single women than men in NYC. I think Jonathan’s interactive map is fascinating and his article is well-written. I’d like to talk about a few of the points he makes. oh… This isn’t going to be funny. This is going to be technical. If you’re looking for your daily email simpleton joke, click the “back” button on your browser, now.
This may or may not be true. I have no actual opinion, because I’ve never been to Ashville, NC. I’ve been to quite a few hic towns, though, and you’re much better off having way more women spread out over a vast area than a few women concentrated in a bumpkin area. ( lol, for all I know, Ashville, NC is a sprawling metropolis, hahaha The reason for this is “flow”. In NYC, all the women that are spread out all over creation have to come to certain places to do certain things. Because of this, all you have to do is go to a popular shopping area or a section of town that employs a lot of attractive women, and they bring themselves to you. You actually end up with more women and a better variety in the same amount of space. This is why construction workers have a field day with catcalling in this town. Another reason is “turnover”. There are always new chicks in this town. If you exhaust the number of chicks in one area, you start hanging out in a different area. If you hang out in Times Square, there are tons of new foreign tourists every day as well as bumpkins imported from all over the USA to come see The Capital Of The World, NYC. Another reason is that New Yorkers WALK… A LOT! People that live in the country DRIVE a lot, so while they’re technically in a smaller area than what we have here, they NEVER meet each other… only passing by each other like the proverbial “ships in the night”. So I’ll take a bunch of chicks scattered around… There’s another problem with “the sticks”. People tend to know each other. If you date like eight chicks, you can’t get away from them, because they never move from that town and they work at the general store where you have to go to buy your gasoline. In NYC, you get to start over every single night. Every night, you meet someone new and potentially exciting that you’d like to get to know more about or spend some fun times with. You don’t even have to THINK about chicks you met yesterday or last week, because there are always more for today and tomorrow. That’s one of the reasons I have the luxury of writing this blog. It doesn’t matter. No matter how many women read DatingGenius and sit there thinking “Ewwwww… I would NEVER date HIM!!!
hehehehehe Yes, this is a TREMENDOUS flaw! Having said that, let’s not discount the older sistaz that are keepin’ it PROPPAH and still having the fellaz tryinna TAP THAT!
I think it was Rodney Dangerfield who said “I love college women. I keep getting older, they stay the same age! Again, however, age isn’t the most important factor here. A chick could be 23, and if she falls off, physically, she’s going to have way fewer suitors than she did when she was HAWT.
This doesn’t really matter. The word “single” just implies “available for sex”. This means that the survey is only going to show the number of women who DECLARED themselves available for sex. Just because a chick has a boyfriend or is married doesn’t mean she’s not gonna give it up, so the number of females OVERALL in an area is more important than the number who were willing to declare themselves “single” for a survey. This is another reason why it’s better to be in NYC than in the sticks. More women = More opportunity. Period.
This is a very interesting statistic. I can see how the “singles map” would be misleading if it were heavily weighted with “singles” between 40 and 62 years of age. So, yes, overall, very interesting breakdown of the singles map, and “nice job”, Jonathan Soma. Now… Let’s talk about reality The fact of the matter is that numbers or no numbers, whether there are 210,820 extra single females or 15 extra single females, if you’re in the trenches and on the streets of NYC, you will see with your own eyes that there are literally PACKS of women roaming the streets with NO MEN and nothing to do with their lives other than work, shop and eat. Go to the stores, and who’s working there? Women. Go to the colleges, and who’s studying there? Women. Walk down the street, Hang out in the Park, Get on the subway or bus, Go to Brooklyn where the hippies live…. Anywhere you go, there are just TONS of women. You literally can’t throw a rock in NYC without hitting a chick. Women have no leverage in this town, because they’re expendable merely by available numbers. I took a walk this morning and passed an attractive female and told her “good morning”. She returned a begrudging “good morning” and we both went about our business. I may see her again in life and I may not. Does it matter? No. Why not? Because there are another thousand of her roaming around this town somewhere. She wasn’t unique in her attractiveness and I didn’t know anything about her as a person, so nobody cares. This is why my “Women’s Guide to NYC Dating” is relevant regardless of the validity of that map I linked to. It’s nearly IMPOSSIBLE for a woman here to distinguish herself as unique in the normal ways that women get men all over the country and the world. There’s a girl on the next block who’s prettier than you. There’s a girl on the next block that has a better ass than you. There’s a girl on the next block that has fewer kids than you. There’s a girl on the next block that makes more money than you or dresses better than you or is better at sex than you etc etc etc. The only way a woman’s going to stand out amongst the myriad attractive female residents of and visitors to this town is going to be by her stellar personality, so, my advice to women stands: 1) Be a nice person Thanks for the comment and the information about that post, “Ford”. Cheers! ~Bill DatingGenius Category: billcammack.com/category/datinggenius
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Golf Girl TV: Randall’s Island Golf CenterPosted by Bill Cammack in Golf Girl, Production & Post, Video, blip.tvHere’s the first video from my latest project, Golf Girl TV. Formats Available: iPod (.mp4) Host: Patricia Hannigan Producer/Editor/Camera: Bill Cammack Coordinators/Production Assistants/Extras: Sam Stahl & Ryan Chambers for blip.tv Sponsor: Puma Golf Tags: Bill Cammack, blip.tv, Cathleen Farr, Duncombe Brooke, Golf, Golf Center, Golf Girl, manhattan, New York City, NYC, Puma, Puma Golf, Randall's Island, Ryan Chambers, Sam Stahl This is how we’re livin’. Beledat! New York City skyline w/ Empire State Building & New Yorker Hotel. Tags: empire state building, manhattan, New York City, New Yorker Hotel, night, NYC, skyline |
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Just switch. If you detect an incompatibility, stop spending time with that chick and get a new one to fill her slot. Or, if you were already “dating” several chicks, distribute her time amongst the rest of them. This is why women don’t have any leverage. There are too many lonely women wandering aimlessly around this town with nothing to do with their lives except go to work. They’re just as attractive as you are. Just as intelligent as you are. Make the same amount of money that you do. Dress as well as you do. They’re just as sexy & sensual as you are….. BUT! 
“, it doesn’t matter. There are always more chicks that have never heard of me, so I can do whatever I want. 
) … All that “thinking” seems to go out the window, doesn’t it?
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