New York City from Brooklyn.
Relatively often, I hear some sob story from some chick about how she doesn’t appreciate the way a guy stepped to her or talked to her. I don’t mean random guys on the street that don’t even know the women they’re talking to. I’m talking about when a guy’s already built some kind of rapport with a gal, and she just can’t believe what this guy said or did today.
As usual, women try to figure out what role THEY played in the scenario… when most of the time, they’re merely catalysts. If a guy kicks it to them while they’re wearing sweats, they go “but I wasn’t dressed sexy!”. If a guy invites himself to their house, they go “but I wasn’t acting like I wanted him to come over” or “but I didn’t TELL HIM I wanted company”.
Ladies, do yourselves a favor… Stop thinking about *YOURSELVES* for once, and think about the guy. Think about what his motivations are… Even for TALKING TO YOU in the first place. If you focus on his motivations without trying to turn it into a function of YOUR importance, you’ll be able to see clearly.
The first thing you should consider is that there’s a possibility that he doesn’t care what you say or think, AT. ALL. Of course, this is tough to fathom, because you’re assuming that because a guy is talking to you that he’s having an intellectual, meaningful conversation with you. Unfortunately for you, guys happen to know that women require conversation in order to get to the good part. This means that there’s a good probability that he’s only talking to you so he can stay in the game long enough for you to decide that you feel like giving him some.
Now… If you can step away from the trees so you can visualize the forest… Lots of your interactions with guys is pure game… tactics. By the time a guy meets you, he’s bringing to the table the sum of his experiences with girls and women up to the present day. Depending on whom he’s been dating / having sex with / spending time with before meeting you, he may or may *not* be mentally prepared to deal with YOU properly. This can lead to communication breakdowns / scenes / arguments that are entirely his fault, because you’re mentally out of his league.
There are two reasons for this… Getting On… and Socialization.
Guys will basically develop themselves, game-wise, to be able to function at the lowest possible level which allows them to have sex with women they’re attracted to.
Now… Depending on the type of chicks they like, that might not be much mental development at all. 😀 If he likes to sit on couches after 2am hoping that a chick is drunk enough at that point to give him some, no questions asked… If that works for him, he’s not going to develop his game past there. If a guy just has a look that women like, and he can pull different chicks every day… He’s not going to put any effort into mental development. If a guy has gimmicks and tricks that work every time, or chicks like his Porsche or whatever, again, no development.
So then he meets you, and you consider yourself sophisticated and intelligent. He wants to get on with you too, except alcohol, his looks, his gimmicks and his car aren’t making it happen for him. 🙂 This means he actually has to TALK to you. This is how we end up in the scenario I started with. This guy who really has nothing to say to you and doesn’t care what you have to say either is at a loss for tactics so all he can do is stall until he can figure out the winning play. This is why guys get defensive or try to talk over you or leave a conversation when you’re winning it. They didn’t want to talk to you in the first place, MUCH LESS lose an argument to some chick! 😀 Also, if they kept talking, it was going to become obvious to you that you’re smarter than they are, and then the jig is up!
Socialization, or lack thereof, with intelligent and/or classy women is also a major factor in how a guy’s going to be able to interact with you in a dating scenario. It’s very easy for guys to dress up in suits and put on shiny shoes and pay for tables in the right bars. All you need for that is MONEY. What they can’t buy is CLASS. Class is achieved through fraternization and socialization with classy people. When someone does something that you admire, you may absorb that trait and carry it with you, going forward. Similarly, the only way to learn how to carry yourself around classy women is to BE AROUND classy women. It’s on-the-job training.
Unfortunately, not all guys get the opportunity to have extensive amounts of genuine authentic interaction with women of high calibre. This makes sense, because the top women are striving to spend time with the top men. This creates, basically, an ‘underclass’ of men who can dress themselves appropriately and have the right jobs and acquaintances and houses and bank accounts…. but they don’t have the slightest clue about how to interact with a woman who carries herself regally and exudes an air of respectability.
So here you are… wondering why your boyfriend (or at least a potential suitor) says and does such STUPID things, when the reason is that you’re BETTER THAN HIM and your man is quite literally a fish out of water in your presence. So, Stop thinking about what YOU’RE doing wrong or what you’re doing to bring about this situation, and consider that your man just MIGHT NOT be mentally and/or socially equipped to step his game up to the level you request, expect and demand.